Hitsuzen yeah, right
by Blood Butterfly
Summary: When Aisha is swept from Hanshin Republic into a strange new land with a ninja, a wizard, a young boy and a princess, she must learn to accept who she is... and who she might be, in order to help them in their quest. Hitsuzen? just maybe...
1. How it all began

When you see me now, you'd have no idea I used to live a quiet and happy life on Shinzu Avenue. Well, quiet and happy – figure of speech. Let's just say juggling four jobs to make your alcoholic mother and ten year-old brother and sister live decently was quieter than what happened next. Not that the life I described is the load of a typical seventeen year-old. Where I come from, anyway. But neither is traveling the dimensions with a ninja, a wizard, an archeologist, a fur-ball and a princess to find the soul of said princess. Don't go thinking I'm complaining, on the contrary. Sure, I didn't really like it at first – getting separated from my kudan and all that. But you get used to it. Besides, now…I wouldn't change the way things went for the world. But I'm getting ahead of myself. The name's Aisha. Aisha Kazumi. I'm from the Republic of Hanshin and, as I said, I'm seventeen. I don't like saying I ``come from`` someplace, but I kinda have to if I want you to understand. So let's say I _was_ from the Republic of Hanshin. Sounds better. So here I am, many adventures and countless revelations later, trying to find a way to tell you what happened without boring you to death. So I think I'll just start with the day it all began…

For the normal passerby, I'm a girl running in the street. For someone a little more observant, I'm a girl fleeing in the street. But for me, I'm a girl running for her life. The members of a rival gang caught me in their territory, which means a little distraction for them, and a lot of trouble for me. Even if I do outrun them, which seems less likely by the second, Kento is going to _kill _me. How was I supposed to know Shougo lost his territory like, three hours ago? _He_ never gave me any trouble, though I _am_ from another gang. Besides, I had to go through there. How else am I going to get to work? And how the hell am I going to get rid of those guys??! Maybe if I close my eyes and really wish they disappear… I flash a quick glance behind me. Nope, still there. The lead one is almost at my heels. I gather up the little energy I have left and sprint. If I can find a door or an alley somewhere… But no. Apparently I'm not worthy of Luck's favors today. My ankles are burning. My lungs hurt more with every breath I take. If I'm so tired, shouldn't my little followers be too? I glance over my shoulder. Most of them are falling back, but one of them is still holding on – and gaining speed. How can he…? I spot a splash of white near his shoes. After a few seconds I realize they're wings! Both of his shoes have on a pair of cute little wings! The bastard's using his kudan to catch up to me!

``Cheater!`` I yell behind me.

If he's going to get the kudans into this, than so be it.

`` Come on girl, NOW!!!``

And she appears in my back. I can't see her, but I know she's there. A silent angel with sad eyes.

``Show them what you've got!``

I hear grunts and whimpers of pain behind me, but I'm to busy running to check it out. Now people are staring; they probably think I'm getting assaulted by those guys, but other than a couple of college students who are probably part of a gang, everyone just avert their eyes. They're probably sick and tired of gang fights around here. I can't really blame them. So am I. But hey, what else would all these high-school dropouts do with their time? Not like they're smart enough to get a job. So all they can figure out to do is fight other high-school dropouts. Which ultimately leads to situations like the one I'm in right now. My followers are getting tired, but they don't look like they're about to give up. In fact it seems like they're just getting more determined. In front of me, I see a bunch of guys emerge from an alley. They called reinforcements? You have got to be kidding me. With the new guys, they're about fifteen. I'm alone. How many people does it take to catch a lone girl? After going through my options, I decide on the element of surprise. They probably think I'm gonna depend on my kudan to defend myself, so all they have to do is overwhelm her to get to me. Heh. They'll be surprised. Ignoring the excruciating pain in my lungs, I dash forward, extending my arms on the side like wings. My strategy visibly confuses them, because I see them squirm uncomfortably and look at each other for answers. Did you expect me to slow down and cower? Sorry to disappoint you. My hand opens in expectation. I'm almost up to them. I gather myself and jump. They all look at me like I'm an apparition of some sort. I gaze upon them, pick my target… my hand closes on something solid… it shoots forward as if to slap him… falls short. _The whip_ in my hand reaches its goal though, smearing his face with blood. I land and face them. Close up, they don't seem so menacing. More like scared. With a snicker and a smirk – I wouldn't want to reassure them, now would I – I dive in. Slashing, punching, kicking, biting… add to that the explosions the kudans are making and you got yourself a pretty nice brawl. I eventually fight myself out of the pile-up, only to come face-to-face with… my follower from the chase. The one who cheated by using his kudan to catch up to me. The others are still fighting, too oblivious to realize I'm not even there anymore. My follower sizes me up, seems to think I look tougher than I am, and smiles.

`` Let me offer you a deal. You surrender, and we don't hold this against your gang.'' He says.

`` Let me offer a better deal. I kick your ass and when you come to fight the gang, we send you straight to hell.`` Before he can answer, I snap my wrist forward. My whip wraps around his leg, and I pull. He falls back onto the pavement. With my whip now loose, I gather the microscopic amount of stamina I have left and run towards the closest house. Fortunately, the gate is open. Perfect. As I get closer, I see a sign dangling next to the gate. HOTEL. Even more perfect. I can escape in the building and out through the rooftop. As I dash through the gate, something strikes me as wrong. Was the wind always this strong? It whistles in my ears until the screams of the fight fade away. I try to orient myself, but I can't see the yard anymore. Just wind and a maelstrom of colours, twirling around me. The wind picks up, tightens up. I try to escape from it but instead I am sucked inside the whirlwind, clawing for anything to hold. I think I see a silhouette, but it disappears as soon as I see it. Finally, my hands grab hold of something. Fabric. I cling to it like my life depended on it. As far as I'm concerned, it might as well be the case. Suddenly, everything turns black. I hold on even tighter. My kudan appears in front of me.

``Help me… please…``I realize I'm almost sobbing. I reach out to her but all she does is wave at me, like she's saying goodbye. Her, the beautiful angel with the sad looking eyes. I scream to her, but the more I try to reach her, the more I am pulled in the opposite direction. She keeps waving, and her face lightens up with a reassuring smile.

``You'll be fine, ``I hear a voice tell me. ``Trust yourself. You don't need me anymore…``

I feel a pinch in my stomach, like something's slowly being ripped out. The pinch turns into excruciating pain when I realize I'll never see her again.

``NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!``


	2. Strange companions

Disclaimer: I do not own Tsubasa or CLAMP. If I did, I'd be rich. Also, I do own my own characters. I use lines from Tsubasa, but I don't own them. It's just to make the story fit.

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Not more than a few seconds must have passed, but it felt like an eternity. I still couldn't get over the fact that my kudan left me. Kudans don't just leave you! They don't… they can't! She was as much a part of me as my leg or my eyes. Irreplaceable! I touched my stomach where I could still feel a gaping pain from when my kudan left. _Why did she tell me those things? You'll be fine? You don't need me anymore?_ What was all that talk about? I did need her! Everybody needs his or her kudan, right? Right?

I felt something tug me back. As I look around, I realize it's the piece of fabric I was still holding. Weird, huh? I just lost my kudan, I'm totally lost in a strange place, and I'm still clinging to that stupid piece of fabric. Suddenly, the tug gets more insistent, and I fell myself fall. I muffle a scream. Where is this taking me? Up becomes down, and I find myself falling head first into a weird assortment of fruits and vegetables, all set on a stand like in an old-time market. Startled, I jerk up my head. I am in fact, in what looks like a farmer's market from another era. People are staring at me, but most of them are looking slightly off. I follow their gaze, and figure out I was not the only one to fall. Three other people are sitting around me, looking as dazed and confused as I am. With their strange clothing – one of them is wearing a heavy winter coat, while another is dressed in a tank top and the girl is wearing something out of _A Thousand Nights – _they look as out of place in this décor as the décor looks to me.

`` Hey! Get off of me!`` a husky voice nearly screams in my ear. I yelp in surprise and look down. It seems the piece of fabric I've been holding since the beginning was a cloak, and the cloak was worn by a strong-looking man, and I had fallen on that man! No wonder the landing was so soft… He violently pushes me to the side, and I roll on the ground. Suddenly, the market goes silent. A fat man is walking determinedly towards us, yelling at us.

`` Who the hell are you? Answer me! Where did you come from?`` he grabs the girl's arm and yanks so hard it looks like she's going to break. Before I can reach and help her – I'm the closest - the boy in the tank top jumps and lands a perfect flying kick. The man lands about six feet away from me. Apparently I'm not the only one impressed, because the man in the winter coat starts laughing and the cloaked man let's out an appreciative grunt. I also hear a high-pitched yelp before something lands on my head. I reach for it, and out comes a little white bun! Except this white bun has ears, a red jewel on what I think is his forehead, and he talks!

`` Hello!`` he squeals. ``I'm Mokona!`` I'm totally speechless. So speechless, in fact, that when someone yells ``You! Do you realize who you just kicked?``, I'm not really paying attention.

`` STOP!`` Ouch. Now that scream could wake up the dead. I look up to where the scream came from, and am surprised to see a little girl standing on top of a wall. She's the one screaming.

`` Don't mess with people you don't know, you dumbass!`` she screams again. I suppose it's not the first time she confronts the fat man, because he looks like he knows her.

`` Chunyiang!`` he yells back. ``Who did you just call dumb?``

`` Other than you, who's dumb around here?`` she answers calmly. _Touché._ Follows a lot of yelling, where I learn the fat man's the Ryanban's (whatever that is) son, and the place is called Koryo. All those who, a moment ago, were staring at us are now staring at the confrontation. The boy and the girl are standing now, and just exanged a few words. When the girl thanks him, the boy smiles like she just gave him the best present in the world. They must be really close. Right beside me, both men straightened up.

`` Wow! Just a moment ago, everyone was looking at us!`` the man in the coat says. Now that they're up and the commotion's over, I can get a better look at them. The man in the coat, the one who just spoke, is really lanky. He's blond with humongous blue eyes and a million-dollar smile, though it still can't hide his sadness. The other one, the cloaked one, is _really_ tall and he's much more muscular than the blond one. Under his cloak, it looks like he's wearing something a ninja would. Odd… They definitely don't come from the Hanshin Republic, but they definitely don't come from here, either. The blond is the first one to notice me on the ground.

`` Are you okay?`` he asks. He leans forward and I notice just how blue his eyes are. Deep blue, like the ocean. I could drown in eyes like that.

`` Seems like someone's got her tong,`` the ninja-looking one grunts. I glare at him.

`` I can talk,`` I answer, ``I just paused to give you time to figure out what was going on.``

`` Are you calling me retarded?`` he explodes.

`` You said it, not me,`` I shrug. Pretty hard to do when you're laying on your stomach, but I manage. The ninja tries to kick me, but I roll out of his way and into a crouched protective stance. The blond man whistles.

`` Sharp reflexes. She might be able to beat you, Kuro-pin.``

`` Stop calling me that!`` And he goes to yell after the blond man, and forgets me there. I get up, dust my clothes, and look around. Everyone seems to be cleaning up the mess we left. I pick up a few odd-shaped fruits, when something catches my eye. A whip! A perfectly maintained whip! _Yes!_ Now that I can't count on my kudan to get me one, I better take my chances and find myself a weapon. I quickly grab it, roll it and pass it through my belt. A few steps away, the others that don't come from here are cleaning up as well. I walk up to them.

`` Excuse me, but could anyone tell me where we are, who _you_ are, and what the hell I'm doing here?`` they all stare at me like I'm some sort of idiot, except for the girl, who looks too sleepy to stare. Blondy is the one to speak.

`` Well… hum… I suppose you don't come from here either?``

`` What do you think? I'm from Hanshin. Ever heard of that place?`` they all look at each other. Was it something I said?

`` We've been there, but… well, if you came with us…`` the boy seems to be as confused as I am.

`` We don't know more than you do about this. You weren't supposed to come with us, but you did. I wonder if it's possible to contact the witch about this…?`` Blondy started.

`` You look weird!`` The one who said that is the little girl who was yelling at the fat man.

`` Hahahaha! It must be Kuro-rin who looks weird!`` Blondy says with a grin.

`` If I'm weird, then you're weird too!`` the ninja yells.

`` I have to agree,`` I say, looking at him up, then down. ``You are definitely the weirdest.``

`` Great! Now I have two dumbasses up mine!`` the ninja starts stomping around, muttering. The little girl stands there for a moment, then grabs the other girl's hand and starts running. The boy, looking somewhat panicked, dashes after them. Blondy shrugs and follows them while Ninja-dude turns around and starts yelling things like ``I'm sick of this! Why can't you guys stay at the same place for two seconds!`` before going himself. The white bun – Mokona, I think – just fell off Ninja-dude's head, so I catch him and he jumps on mine. Hoping my legs don't fail me after the wild chase I caused back home – only a few minutes ago, I remember – I sprint after them. I don't have a particular attachment to them, but they seem like my only chance to get answers, and possibly get back to Hanshin. I mean, if they can come here from Hanshin, you'd think they can go back, right?

By the time I catch up to them, I'm totally out of breath and my legs are wobbling. The little girl dragged them in a small house just outside what must be a village. It looks a little like the pictures I've seen of ancient Japanese shrines, but much smaller. I lean in the doorway, and have to catch myself not to fall. My legs can barely sustain my weight. The boy and the little girl are having a stare-down at the farthest point from me, while Ninja-dude is reading a magazine and Blondy is looking at flowers in the windowsill. My eye is caught by the colorful pattern on the magazine in Ninja-dude's hand.

``Where did you get that?`` I say, pointing the magazine. He jumps and screams. He probably didn't hear me come in.

``Where did you get that?`` I repeat. Blondy comes to the rescue.

``In Hanshin. Some crazy fans of Primera-chan threw it at us.`` I nod. I know what they mean. Those fans can be pretty nasty.

``Hey, wait a minute. Who _are_ you? And where are we? I'm still waiting for answers, you know. I didn't run all the way down here just for the fun of wearing my legs out.``

``Oh, right. Allow me to introduce myself properly. Fai D. Flowright. That here is Kuro-tan. Over there is Shayoran and Sakura. And the white thing on your head is Mokona.``

``Yeah, I figured that one after he yelled it in my ear,`` I say while Ninja-dude is screaming.

``It's Kurogane!``

``Awww, but Kuro-tan is so much cuter!`` I squeal like one of those demented fangirls.

``That's it!`` and he starts stomping towards me. I quickly get myself out of his way, but without support my legs give out and I find myself on the ground. The shock knocks my breath out, and I pant furiously to try to breathe normally. Fai helpfully grabs my arm and pulls me up in a sitting position.

``Are you alright?`` he asks. I'm surprised to hear concern in his voice – until now he gave me the impression of being one of those happy-go-lucky people who don't care about anything.

``Yeah. I'll be fine.``

``Rough day, huh?`` he sits down next to me. I nod.

``I've been running for a while,`` I explain. ``Right before I was sucked in that whirlwind thing, I had just fought off a bunch of guys from another gang.``

``So you were already breathless when you got here.`` Fai concludes. We were interrupted by the little girl's question:

``Don't you have something to say?`` she asks Shayoran.

``Uh…eh!?`` he answers. He doesn't seem to have much conversation. If that's what she was looking for, then she better look somewhere else.

``Don't you?`` she repeats. She inches slowly towards him, never taking her eyes of him.

``We just arrived in this country, and then we met you…`` Shayoran tries to explain. He looks as confused as I am. The girl gets so close to him he backs away.

``You really have nothing to say?`` she asks. Geez, he told you already. Plus, he doesn't look like a very talkative guy. If she wants conversation, she better look towards Fai here. He looks like he could talk all day. The little girl backs away and bows her head in discouragement.

``Thinking about it carefully, there's no way these kids could be the amenosa.`` she mutters for herself.

`` Amenosa?`` Sakura asks sleepily. The little girl looks back up, and I see a new fire burning in her eyes.

`` The amenosa are spies that work for the government,`` she explains. ``They investigate each region and each region's Ryanban, and if those Ryanban are indulging in their personal interests or greed. They make sure the Ryanban doesn't oppress people using political influence either…they travel from country to country, doing their job.``

Mokona chooses this moment to jump off Fai's head – where he used to be – and yell ``Mito Koumon!``

``Um…what is that thing?`` the little girl asks.

``I'm Mokona!`` he yells, making her fall over.

``Yeah, uh… he's our mascot.`` Fai explains. He inches towards the girl and crouches in front of her.

``I see, so you thought we were the amenosa! Er….`` he hesitates, obviously trying to find the girl's name.

``Chunyiang.`` she helps him.

`` I'm Fai.`` he introduces himself. ``And this is Shayoran, this is Sakura, this is…`` he stops when he points at me.

``Aisha.`` I say, a little guilty of not introducing myself before.

``Aisha`` Fai repeats, stretching the _chhh_ sound. I can't help thinking that I like the way he says my name. I can feel myself blushing, so I turn away.

``And also,`` Fai announced,`` This is Kuro-puu!``

``Kurogane!``

``Anyway,`` Fai continues, ``the ruler of this place is evil; therefore people are waiting for the amenosa to show up and save them?``

``He's the worst!`` and as Chunyiang answers I can see the hate in her eyes. ``And he…my mother…``

Suddenly, the roof and walls start to creak. I feel like they're going to fall in on us. A surge of panic dawns on me and I spring upwards. Everyone's staring up at the roof.

``Is that the wind?`` Fai asks. Another creak shakes up the whole house.

``It's not normal wind…`` I whisper. I can feel the energy coming from outside. It feels somewhat like a kudan, but not quite.

``Don't go outside!`` Chunyiang yells in warning. It didn't do us much good, because at that moment, the outside came to us. The roof crumbled, swept away by a supernatural tornado. Shayoran protected Sakura with his body while debris fell on us and the wind almost swept us up like the roof. Eventually the wind died out, leaving us all stranded-like in the wrecked house.

``That was not normal wind, was it?`` Fai asks.

``Obviously.`` I mutter. Fai gives me a strange look, halfway between surprise and understanding.

``It's the Ryanban!`` Chunyiang grinds through her teeth. ``That guy!`` she screams. ``Now he really did it!``


	3. Dimensions?

``Why do I have to fix somebody's house?`` Kurogane complains.

``Because they offered us shelter for a night,`` Fai replies while handing him a plank of wood. Kurogane is on the roof beside me, hammering planks together to build a new roof for Chunyiang. Being him, he couldn't help but complain. I didn't ask them about why they were here yet, and they haven't asked me, either. I still don't know what _here _is, which is another thing I should ask about. They don't seem to be surprised to be in a totally different environment than Hanshin, while I feel it every second. Whenever I look at something, say something or do something, it reminds me that I'm not home. I really should be home right now. The twins are going to be so worried… good thing there's enough in the freezer for a couple of meals. They should manage fine until I get back. Because I'm going back, I know it. The twins will never forgive me if I don't. Kurogane rips me from my thoughts.

``It's amazing that she lives here alone…``

``Yeah. She said her mother died.`` Fai says

``It's not really that amazing.`` I chip in. They both look at me. Kurogane points at me and asks Fai:

``Who _is_ she anyway?``

``The one who fell on you, idiot.`` I reply before Fai can open his mouth. ``Remember?``

``Oh, yeah, the brat who wouldn't get off. And who called me retarded.`` he says with a murderous light in his eyes.

``It's your fault I'm here,`` I remind him, hammering a plank to the roof. ``I got stuck in _your_ whirlwind thingy, and that's how I got here.``

``She's really from Hanshin?`` he asks Fai again, carefully avoiding to speak directly to me.

``Seems like she is.`` is Fai's answer. ``And I assume she'll be coming with us from now on, so you two better learn to get along.``

``Where did she get that whip in Hanshin? It didn't seem like _that_ sort of country. Besides, it clashes with her type of clothing.``

``I found it here. Well, actually, in the marketplace. It was just laying there, and I figured I might need a weapon.``

``So you're a little thief, aren't you?`` he says, for the first time speaking to me.

``Finders-keepers,`` I state boldly. Surprisingly, Kurogane laughs. Not a happy, let-yourself-loose type of laugh, but a manly chuckle.

``I'm not sure I like you, kid, but you sure are interesting.`` he says. Then, to Fai, ``How long are we going to stay here?``

``It depends on Mokona!`` Fai answers with a grin. Kurogane growls and starts hitting on the planks like crazy.

``Why does that little bun always side with that brat?``

``Stop hitting like that! You're going to break the roof again!`` I snap. I was referring to about an hour ago, when he split a plank in two by smashing it in an explosion of anger. The funny part was, it was the plank he was sitting on, so he fell on the floor, missing Fai by an inch.

``He always sides with him because Shayoran, Sakura, Mokona and Chunyiang went to town to spy. I really hope they get some info.`` Fai tells Kurogane, who's still hitting on the planks like a madman, despite what I said. Hearing Fai, he calms down though.

``But is it okay? That princess is always eating or dizzy.`` he says. It's the first time I've seen him so concerned about something other than himself.

``Why?`` I ask, but they ignore me. Fai continues, a look of sadness in his eyes.

``It's not enough, the feather.`` he starts. ``It's only two. In order to get back all of her memories, she'll need more.`` What? Memories? Feathers? I didn't even know Sakura was a princess.

``Um, hello? Very confused person here. What feathers? And what about the princess?`` I say, loud enough for them to have no excuse not to answer.

``Oh, right. Kuro-tun, would you please explain to her?`` Fai asks with a childish grin.

``No way! And especially not if you keep calling me stupid names like that!`` Fai's grin gets wider. I don't think he ever expected Kurogane to tell me.

``The princess – that's Sakura – lost her memories. They're spread out among the dimensions, and Shayoran promised he would find them all.``

``Dimension?`` I start, but Fai cuts me short.

``Each in its own time,`` he says. ``We help him, but I think the princess has lost much more than just memories.`` his expression goes serious again. ``She doesn't have the thoughts of herself. That's why she came with us without asking why. And even if all the feathers return…`` he pauses. ``The memories she had with Shayoran won't.`` When he said those words, it was like a storm was brewing. Everything was silent, yet I could feel the sadness and the anger burning through their hearts for him. Even though a million questions were shoving themselves through my head, I did not dare speak.

``He will look for them,`` Fai continues, looking at the sky. ``Shayoran will. To find the feathers and go to different worlds.`` Pause. ``Even though they are many challenges ahead.`` The aura of sadness is still there, and I want to ask my questions, but I guess it's not the time. But it seems Fai does not have the same respect for sacred moments, because he happily breaks this one.

``At least let's wait for them while repairing the house. You never know, they might bring presents.`` he says joyfully.

``But…`` Kurogane starts. I can clearly see a vein popping out of his forehead. I brace myself for the explosion. ``Why are you relaxing and drinking tea?!?!`` he screams, pointing an accusating finger at Fai who was, in fact, drinking tea and lounging on the floor. Fai looks up innocently, his big puppy eyes going from me to Kurogane.

``Well… I wanted to see you two working.`` he says matter-of-factly. Kurogane throws him a hammer that hits him on the head – without causing much damage, apparently.

``Do something too!!`` Kurogane threatens.

``You know,`` I say, slightly annoyed,`` Kuro-kun here has a point. You should work too, Fai-san.``

``Hey! Who told you could call me Kuro–kun?`` Kurogane yells at me this time.

`` 'Cause Kurogane-kun is such a mouthful.`` I answer. ``But don't worry, I'm not big on honorifics anyway. I can just call you Kuro.``

``It's not my point! I'm sick and tired of silly nicknames!`` Kurogane grumbles before grabbing my hammer and smashing a couple of innocent planks together. I shrug.

``Then again, Fai-san has a point too. We could all use a break.`` I say while letting myself fall through the hole in the roof. Kurogane grumbles something unintelligible before following me and retreating to a corner to read his magazine. I snicker and let myself fall next to Fai.

``What is with him and that magazine? It's just a bunch of stupid facts about Primera-chan. Who cares about her anyway?`` I ask Fai. He looks at me, a puzzled expression on his face.

``I take it you don't like Primera-chan?`` he asks.

``She's just a little daddy's girl with a digitally altered voice who gets everything she wants.`` I answer glumly.

``I don't know what a digitally altered voice is, but it seems to me you're jealous.`` Kurogane calls out from his corner. I bite my lip.

``Why would I be jealous of a little brat like she is?``

``Because you didn't get all you wanted?`` Fai suggests. I turn my head away to stare in the distance. The last thing I want is to tell them the story of my life.

``What was that thing about dimensions?`` I ask, changing the subject. Fai doesn't seem to notice, or he has the decency not to mention it.

``Did you ever hear about different dimensions in your world? Or alternate realities?`` he asks.

``Well, yeah, but only in novels and stuff. It's fiction.`` I state. Fai gives me a look that makes me shiver.

``It's not fiction, is it?`` I ask reluctantly. I'm scared to know the answer, but I need to know at the same time.

``It's not fiction,`` he repeats. ``There really is thousands of worlds spread through time-space.`` he gives me that look again, where I feel like he can see right through me. ``You're in one of them now, Aisha. You're not only not in Hanshin, you're not even in the same world.`` I freeze when I realize what his words mean. My body can barely function as Fai's words sink in. It's only when he speaks again that I realize I was holding my breath.

``We all come from different dimensions, and we all had wishes to travel through them. That's why we all travel together for different reasons. The Dimension Witch…``

``Yeah, now that I think about it,`` Kurogane interrupts, ``she didn't pay anything, did she. So is the witch going to let her travel for free? If she does, then it's not fair.`` and he went back to his magazine.

``Pay?`` I ask. My voice is small and high, like Mokona's. But it's not because I'm happy, it's because I'm scared.

``We all had to pay a price. The Dimension Witch is a pretty tough negotiator. Chances are she'll ask something from you too if you travel with us.`` Fai says.

``But…`` I struggle to find my words,`` I don't want to travel with you! All I want is to go home! Do you think maybe she could…`` my voice cracks and drowns in a whisper.

``Even for a simple transfer, she will ask for a price, though it will not be as big as what we had to pay.`` Fai answers. We all stayed silent while I tried to process what he had said. So sooner or later I was going to have to pay that Dimension Witch. With what? I had no money. What could I have that a witch would want? What if she didn't want to bring me home? What if I was stuck here forever? Fai said she was in another dimension… What if I couldn't contact her? What if… What if…

I broke down. My shoulders began shaking uncontrollably; I buried my head in my hand. The tears were falling like a torrential rain; I couldn't stop them no matter how much I tried. What was wrong with me? I wasn't the sensitive type – I spent most of my life blocking my emotions for the sake of the people around me. But then I realized I wasn't crying only for myself; I was crying for all those I left behind. I was crying for Hoshi and Hinata; for Kento and Etsuko; for Kaede, Ren, Shinju… even for Mom. I cried because I was so scared I would never see them again. Because I couldn't imagine my life without them. Sure, my life wasn't perfect, but it was _mine_. Mine alone. No one could take it away.

I feel Fai's arm around my shoulder, and push it away. He puts it back and pulls me closer to him.

``We're going to make sure you get home, alright? We won't let you here alone.`` I hear him whisper in my ear. For a reason I don't understand, he made me comfortable. Without a second thought, I cuddled against his chest and cried against his shoulder. Like I knew him. Like he was an old childhood friend I could tell everything. I don't know how long we stayed like this, but not once did he try to push me away. When the tears dried out, I straitened out and furiously wiped my eyes.

``I'm sorry`` I say, not daring to look at him in the eyes.

``Sorry for what?`` Fai asks.

``For crying. I'm not usually the type who breaks down like that.`` I answer with some embarrassment.

``You cried? I'm sorry, I must of missed that part.`` he says with a reassuring grin. I look at him, surprised. Kurogane has a disgusted grunt.

``Great. Now I'm going to be afraid to yell because I might make you bawl like a baby.`` he grumbles without lifting his eyes off his magazine.

``That's weird, I never thought you'd be interested in girly stuff like that.`` I reply. He finally shifts his gaze to me.

``What are you talking about?`` he asks.

``In my world, those magazines are only for girls.`` I explain. Kurogane snorts.

``That's not true. Most of those Primera-chan fans were guys, and they read these things.``

``Oh, you mean those _bawling, girly babies?_ I never thought you'd want to be associated with _them_.``

``Shut up!`` he yells.

``Ah, I touched a soft spot, didn't I?`` I tease him. He gets up and approaches me.

``Listen, you.`` he threatens, grabbing my arm and pulling me upright,`` I'm not the kind to stand for this. So you either back off or you get pounded. Got it?`` I try to stay as inexpressive as possible.

``Like you would hit a girl.`` I say calmly, not letting my eyes off him. He lifts his fist, like he's really going to punch me. I brace myself while Kurogane's face is flooded with opposite emotions. He hesitates, I can tell. Follows a few seconds where Kurogane and I stare at each other, testing each other. He finally lets go and turns his back to me.

``You can't say I didn't warn you.`` he mumbles so low I can barely hear. I sit back down, a triumphant smile on my face. Fai's staring at me.

``You have guts for a girl.`` he says, and in his eyes I can see something like admiration.

``Don't give me the 'girls are weak' thing. Just so you know, I was one of the only ones who could beat Kento, back home.`` I say, slightly defiant.

``Who's Kento?`` Fai asks. I bite my lip. I've said too much.

``A friend.`` I answer simply.

``He's a good fighter?``

``The best,`` I say with pride. ``He could get rid of three people at the same time; when we got in a fight, he was always the first one in and the last one out. He's the leader of the gang…`` I gasp. The gang… I got them in a whole lot of trouble before disappearing. What will they think when I don't show up for the fight? Will they think I abandoned them? Will Kento think I abandoned him? The thought is unbearable. Kento and me, it was always 'best friends forever'. How would I feel if he got me in trouble and didn't even help me get out of it? Betrayed… lost… unloved…

``You'll see him again.`` Fai tries to reassure me. I shake my head.

``That's not it…`` I try to explain the situation without letting too much out, but I can't find the words. I'm still staling when Fai turns around and says:

``Welcome back! How was it?`` I look up and see Shayoran, Sakura and Chunyiang walking towards the house. Shayoran has a nasty wound above his right eye and Chunyiang looks pretty upset. I'm guessing something happened. That's exactly Fai's opinion, because he states it three seconds later. I see a diversion from our conversation and take it.

``You!`` I scream, pointing Shayoran. ``Here, sit, now.`` He obeys.

``I'm fine.`` he assures me.

``Not by the look of this thing,`` I say, examining his wound. Besides blood, there's puss oozing out. Gross.

``I'm going to need alcohol.`` I say to no one in particular. Fai turns towards us.

``Are we throwing a party?`` he chirps happily. I roll my eyes.

``To disinfect the wound, you idiot,`` I reply. Fai turns away, looking over-dramatically rejected. Chunyiang comes to me with a little bottle.

``Is sake good?`` she asks worried.

``It'll be perfect,`` I say, giving her a smile. It seems to reassure her a bit, but I can tell she's still upset.

``So, what happened?`` Fai asks Chunyiang. I listen distractedly while wiping away the blood. Apparently they found the Ryanban's son hurting people because they couldn't pay the taxes. He had a whip on them, and Sakura was going to shield them with her body. Then Shayoran fought him – apparently we should've seen it – and the Ryanban sent his wind again. That's how Shayoran got hurt. Now that I know about his quest to save Sakura, I can't see him the same way. He used to be just another kid. Now, I admire him. For someone to do all this for someone else, it takes a lot of courage.

``This is going to sting,`` I warn him. He hisses a bit when I apply the alcohol, but his face stays perfectly straight. Sakura's hovering over me since she got here, so I decide to let her have a shot at it.

``You want to take care of it?`` I ask her. She quickly nods and flies to his side. I can't help but smile at them. They definitely have a bond; you could see that a mile away. I turn my attention to the conversation.

``But you can't lay a finger on the Ryanban!`` a very upset Chunyiang is crying. ``The palace that Ryanban lives in has a secret spell that no one can penetrate!``

``So that's the mysterious power Mokona felt.`` Fai concludes. Mokona nods.

``There's a lot of mysterious powers, and I can't figure out if any comes from the feather.`` he admits. Fai lifts his hand, like to ask permission for a question.

``How about the son?`` he says happily. I can almost see little sparkles around him. I must read too much manga. ``Take him as a hostage or something?`` Kurogane turns away, an almost amused expression painted on his face.

``You just said something very bad happily.`` he grumbles. Fai turns toward him. I can still see the sparkles.

``No!`` Chunyiang shakes her head vigorously. ``The Ryanban uses his secret weapon to defend the palace, if we did something to his son…!`` she looks panicked at the idea. I guess the Ryanban's the overprotective father-type. Fai pauses for a moment.

``Yesterday and today,`` he starts, ``Shayoran was attacked by the secret weapon. From what I heard, a year ago the Ryanban suddenly got a lot of power. Could it have to do with Sakura's feather?`` At these words, Shayoran straitens and I see all the muscles in his body tense. Kurogane doesn't look convinced.

``It doesn't match,`` he says. ``The feathers of the memories were scattered recently, right?``

``The dimensions are different,`` Fai explains. ``Maybe time passes differently too.`` Shayoran slowly gets up.

``I'll go check if the feather is at the Ryanban's.`` he says. His eyes are determined, and I can tell no one will be able to stop him.

``Wait!`` it apparently doesn't stop people from trying. Sakura just grabbed his sleeve and doesn't seem to let go. ``Shayoran-kun, you're hurt!`` she protests.

``I'm fine,`` he assures her. It doesn't seem to work.

``But…``

``Don't worry!`` he smiles. ``If the feather is really there, I'll go get it for you.``

``Shayoran-kun…`` she says softly, letting go.

``Wait a bit.`` It's Fai, his eternal smile posted on his face. ``Don't worry,`` he says, seeing Shayoran's discomfit expression, ``I'm not going to try to stop you. But Ryanban's secret powers are pretty strong, so just going in there won't work. You need at least a spell to break the entrance.``

``Can you do anything?`` Kurogane asks from his corner.

``Nope, not at all!`` Fai answers joyfully. Ah, I can see the sparkles again…

``Let's ask Yuuko!`` Mokona chirps. Yuuko? Who's that? Before I can ask, something beams out of Mokona's jewel. I quickly evade the ray of light. Astonished, I see it grow larger and an image take place in the middle of it.

``Oh, Mokona. What is it?``


	4. The Dimension Witch

Disclaimer: I do not own TRC, or CLAMP, or any related trademarks or anything. The only thing I own is my iPod and my clothes. The rest is my parents'. But, I do own my characters.

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The ray of light beaming out of Mokona's jewel forms a perfect circle in the middle of the room. Inside it floats the picture of a beautiful woman with long black hair. A faint smile stretches across her lips when she sees us.

``Oh, Mokona. What is it?`` Chunyiang grabs Sakura and shrieks when she hears the voice coming from the image.

``She speaks!`` Chunyiang yelps. Shayoran looks as astonished as she is. As for me, I don't know what to think. I've seen a great deal of strange thing in Hanshin, what with all the kudans and all that, and even more strange things since I got here, but never something quite like this. Kudans didn't talk. And they didn't beam out of each other. I stood at a cautious distance from the ray, hoping this wasn't a bad thing.

``Mokona is really useful! We can talk to people from other worlds!`` Fai says, pointing at the image of the woman – Yuuko, I assume. My heart leapt in my chest. It was possible to talk to someone from another world? Did that mean I could contact everyone back home and tell them what was going on? The crazy hope makes my heart beat faster. Maybe that way they'd at least know where I was until I could talk to that Dimensions Witch about going home. While Fai explains the situation to Yuuko, I nervously play with my hair, waiting for the conversation to end so I can ask my questions.

``I see,`` Yuuko says. ``So you want to break the spell and go into the palace.``

``Yup`` Fai answers.

``But you don't have to ask me. Can't you use spells, Fai?`` Yuuko points out. I stare at Fai. Nobody seems surprised to hear that Fai can use magic, other than Chunyiang and me, so I guess it was common knowledge. But Yuuko does have a point. Why ask her when Fai could do it? But didn't he say he couldn't? This is all so confusing…

``I gave you the core of my powers,`` Fai answers. Ah, so that's why he couldn't do anything. But… the core of his powers… isn't that a big thing to just give away?

``The tattoo I took is the 'core to keep in the power'`` Yuuko answers. ``It is not your powers.`` A tattoo? How can a tattoo keep in anything? Aisha, you still have a lot to learn about magic, it seems… Fai smiles.

``But still,`` he says, ``I have a rule not to use spells without it.`` he smiles through the whole thing, but I can tell he's thinking about something painful. His eyes are almost glowing with sadness.

``Fine,`` Yuuko's face becomes inexpressive. ``I'll send something that can break the spell of the palace, but I need something of value.``

``Is there anything I can give-`` Shayoran starts, only to be interrupted by Fai.

``How about this?`` he says, pulling out something that looks like a scepter, except longer. The end is extremely ornate, and a blue crystal seems to float above it with no attach whatsoever. The same strange energy I sensed in the Ryanban's wind seems to surround it. I wonder what could that energy be?

``It's used for spells, but I don't use it,`` Fai says. Yuuko pauses.

``…Fine. Give it to Mokona.`` she finally says. Fai does as she said. To my astonishment, Mokona opens his mouth and swallows it whole! Behind me, Chunyiang yelps and hangs on to Sakura like her life depended on it. I notice that when Fai let go of the scepter, the energy around it weakened. Could part of the energy come from Fai? Wait a second… if the Ryanban's wind is magical, and the scepter is used for spells, and Fai is a wizard, and I sensed that energy around all three, could the energy be magic? It does make sense… other than for the fact _I_ can sense it. Unless anybody can? Maybe magic is a force that everyone can feel, regardless of who you are. I don't have time to ask my question, because then Mokona's mouth opens again and a strange brown ball gushes out. Shayoran catches it in midair.

``So this is the thing that breaks the secret power…`` he says, looking skeptically at the ball. I can't help but share his opinion. How is that ball going to break a powerful spell? And yet there's a powerful aura of energy around it. I don't know what to think. I guess all we have left to do is try.

``Ah yes, I almost forgot,`` Fai ripped me from my thoughts. ``Yuuko, this is Aisha. Aisha… this is the Dimension Witch.``

I can't believe it. This woman is the Dimension Witch? I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it was more along the line of a wrinkled old woman with a cauldron and a pointy hat. Yuuko doesn't seem surprised by me. Maybe she thinks I come from this world.

``Um… hello?`` I timidly say, hoping to break the ice.

``Hello.`` she answers, flashing a nearly perfect smile. Her smile intrigues me. It doesn't seem to convey any joy; it's just a polite way to acknowledge my existence. I look at her one more time and take a deep breath.

``So here's the deal: I'm not from this world.`` I start. Yuuko lifts an eyebrow, urging me to go on. ``I was accidentally… transported here by those guys,`` I show her the group.

``Well that's interesting. Since you used my powers to travel, then you must know there is a price to pay.`` she says inexpressively. I cringe.

``Yeah… Fai did mention something about that.`` I say. ``But the problem is, I never wanted to travel to another dimension. I just want to go home.``

``I'm afraid I can't make that happen.`` she states.

``What? Why? You make them travel across time-space, and yet you can't make me do just a little trip back to Hanshin?`` I nearly scream. I just don't get it. Why won't she help me?

``You are in another dimension than the one I am in now. I therefore can't send you a way of going back to another dimension. The only way you are changing worlds is if you decide to travel with the others.`` Yuuko says. I look hopefully towards Fai.

``Can you go back to Hanshin? Just a few minutes so I can go back?`` I practically beg. Fai shakes his head.

``I'm sorry, but it doesn't work that way. We do not get to choose the dimensions we travel to.`` he looks genuinely sorry. But sorry isn't going to help me right now. Determined, I turn back towards the witch.

``So what are my options?`` I ask directly.

``You don't have that many,`` she admits. ``First option is to stay in this world. Of course I believe it would not be your choice at the moment. The second option is to continue traveling with this crew, and hope you eventually go back to your world.``

``And if I decide to travel with them, I suppose I'll have to pay?`` I conclude.

``Precisely``

``And do I have a reasonable chance of going back to Hanshin if I do?`` I ask.

``Almost none,`` Yuuko admits with a faint smile. I can't believe she'd be smiling at a time like this. Using all my strength to calm down, I take a deep breath and continue:

``So I either stay here and never go back, or I go with them and have a slight chance of going back. You don't give many options, you know that?`` I give her a joyless smile.

``I've been told,`` she answers. ``I assume you'll be going with your second option?``

``Like I really have a choice.``

``There's always a choice,`` Yuuko turns solemn. ``No matter how much you think you don't, you always have a choice.``

``Well then, lets just say I don't have a choice if I want to go home.`` I rephrase.

``Makes more sense already.`` she says. I turn towards the others.

``So, what do you say? Will you survive if I travel with you?`` I ask, hopeful I don't get negative answers.

``Works with me,`` Fai answers, smiling.

``Yes,`` goes Shayoran.

``I'll live but I don't guaranty you will,`` Kurogane says.

``It's nice to feel the love,`` I say sarcastically as I turn back to Yuuko. I note that Chunyiang is still cowering in her corner, holding on to Sakura who doesn't look like she understands either.

``Okay,`` I take a breath and let it hiss out. ``So, what's the price? I don't have any money,`` I warn her.

``Money is not necessary,`` Yuuko answers with a look that makes me shiver.

``So what's the price?``

``Well…`` she seems to think it through. ``That ornament in your hair is quite interesting.``

``What, this?`` I say, holding the ornament in question. It's a simple silver tube that circles a lock of my hair. It's not very ornate, though it does have a faint black design. What could she possibly want with that?

``It's a very powerful sceal,`` Yuuko explains. My brows knit in incomprehension. Sure, I guess you could say it 'sceals' off a bit of my hair, but that'd be pushing it.

``A magical sceal,`` she precise. ``It sceals off memories and power, to be exact.`` Memories and power? I'm not missing any memories… though even if I did, I wouldn't remember missing them, right? And power… I just don't get that. If the sceal is magical, then it would sceal magic powers. But I don't have any of those. But again, if they were scealed, I wouldn't know about them. This is just so confusing…

``But, I can't give you that. I've never been able to take it off.`` I protest.

``Obviously,`` Yuuko says as if I know nothing. ``If it's a magical sceal, it can only be removed by magic.``

``And you could remove it?`` I ask.

``Of course.``

``So would that be my price?`` I ask, almost hopefully. If that little barrette is all I'll have to pay, then I just hit the jackpot.

``I believe…`` Yuuko starts. She is cut short by a barely audible whimper. I turn around to find Fai, smile gone and a distinct fear in his eyes. He quickly changes back to his normal expression, but I don't think anyone missed it. Shayoran politely averts his eyes, while Chunyiang is looking puzzled and Sakura almost falls asleep. Kurogane is staring at Fai like he knows something Fai doesn't want him to know.

``I believe it wouldn't be advisable.`` Yuuko retries. I quickly glance at Fai and see the relief on his face. Why was he scared when we mentioned taking off my barrette?

``So… do you have any ideas?`` I ask Yuuko. She closes her eyes for a moment. Her face goes blank.

``Hmm… such a mangled mind… so little to take from it…`` she mumbles. At the same time, a strange feeling overpowers me. I feel like someone is running through my underwear drawer and all I can do is watch. Like someone's reading my journal and I can't do anything about it… It's a pretty uncomfortable feeling, but it seems like nothing is causing it. Yuuko opens her eyes and straitens up. The feeling vanishes.

``No, taking more from your mind would leave you horribly mangled,`` she says, all business-like. ``I therefore have one more option,`` she looks at me and makes me shiver again. ``I must take something indirectly yours.``

``_Indirectly _mine?`` I ask, confused. Something can't be indirectly mine, can it?

``Something that belongs to someone else, but that, by belonging to that person, also belongs to you.`` Yuuko attempts to explain. Unsuccessfully.

``What do you cherish most?`` she asks, changing the subject. I don't answer right away. It's not because the answer is hard to find… it's because there's just too many of them! Hoshi, Hinata, Kento… All my friends… my kudan… Mom's definitely not the person I cherish _most, _but she'd be in there somewhere. How do you say 'I cherish everyone the most'? It just doesn't make any sense.

``I guess… well…`` The twins? My friends? Who? ``I…`` sigh, ``I really don't know who to say.`` The witch becomes suddenly interested.

``You said 'who'`` she says. I don't get it. Yes, I said 'who'. Is that a problem?

``I clearly specified _what _you cherish most.`` she continues. I suck in a breath. I don't like the tone of voice she's using. It's not announcing anything good.

``So,`` she begins,`` I have decided your price.`` I brace myself for the blow. The sooner she says it, the sooner it will be over with. But at the same time, I don't want to know.

``I will take… your 'home'`` the witch states. My home? How can she…? But I get the feeling she can take it away, or else she never would have said it.

``What's that supposed to mean?`` I say with apprehension. I don't want to know, I don't want to, just get it over with…

``Your family and friends,`` she says, ``they will loose all memory of you. They will forget up to your very existence. And even if you do go back,`` she continues, ``you will never find your place among them. You will have no 'home'.`` I breathe heavily as the news sink in.

``You want me,`` I whisper, ``to give away the only reason I would go back, for a minimal chance of getting back? You're making it useless!`` I am now screaming. ``You are exanging what I care the most about against a chance of seeing them again? You, you… _bitch_!`` I spit out, furious. Chunyiang is cowering in her corner, looking at me with fear-filled eyes. Yuuko eyes me inexpressively. I lock my eyes into hers.

``Take anything else,`` I hiss. ``Take whatever else you want! Take my kudan, I don't care! Anything but that!`` I feel the tears pooling in my eyes. I wipe them away furiously.

``Unfortunately, your kudan is no longer yours to give,`` the witch answers.

``You don't understand!`` I yell. ``I can't leave the twins! Mom's counting on me to feed them and put food on the table! As if she'll spend her money on anything else than booze…`` I burry my face in my hands. It seems I've been doing this a lot lately.

``If she does not remember you, she will not count on you to do anything,`` Yuuko says. I grimace.

``Was that supposed to make me feel better?`` I ask, sarcastic. ``It doesn't matter if she doesn't expect me to make her live. She'll spend all her pay in alcohol and blame it on food while the twins fend for themselves.``

``Is there something wrong with that? They'll be fine.`` Yuuko replies.

``They're ten years old!`` I'm screaming again. ``You can't expect ten year-olds to make their mother live!``

``You survived,`` Yuuko reminds me. I want to yell again, when I realize she just said something she shouldn't of known. I stare at her, bewildered.

``It doesn't matter.`` I answer slowly, detaching every syllable. ``What happened to me has nothing to do with this.``

``I think, quite the opposite, you're trying to avoid them something you lived,`` the witch says. I can't keep it in any longer.

``O.k.!`` I yell, feeling the tears pool again. ``You're right! She's going to get drunk, and when she does, she hits them! O.k.? I spent years finding hiding-places for her booze, and keeping her from drinking, and shielding Hoshi and Hinata when I failed and she did get drunk! I _did_ take care of the groceries ever since I was nine! I _am_ juggling four jobs because there's no other way to make ends meet! I _am_ forcing myself to finish high school because I want to get a better job so the twins can go to college! I _am_ doing everything I can to hide the fact that Mom's an alcoholic to them! And you know why I did all that? You want to know?`` I pause to take a breath. The tears are falling now. ``I did all that because I wanted the twins to live a decent life! I did all that… because I didn't want them…`` I struggle to speak through the tears. I feel a hand on my shoulder, but I don't turn to see who's it is. ``I didn't want them to grow up like I did.`` At my words, I can feel the atmosphere in the room change. It becomes heavier. Instead of making me clueless, this change of atmosphere makes up my mind. I don't bother to wipe away the tears. I just face the witch, a new determination etched on my face.

``I will accept the offer,`` I say slowly, spitting each word out like a threat. ``But not for you or your mysterious reason to insist on me going with them,`` the witch's eyes widen and her jaw drops slightly at those words. I know I guessed right. And it's with a triumphant note in my voice that I continue:

``I will accept because even if they don't remember me, if I can go back and make sure they're okay…`` I take a deep breath and manage a small smile, remembering everything we did together. I'd never see the twins laugh while we did the dishes again. No more midnight runs on Kento's motorcycle. No more friendly kudan fights with Etsuko, Kaede, Ren and Shinju. All of that, gone in an instant. But if I could just go back…

``If I can make sure they're okay…`` I repeat, ``It would be enough.`` It would. To be able to see their faces again would be enough to get through everything. Even if they don't remember me. Because I'll remember them. Forever. And if they live happily without me, then it's all that matters.

``I know how you feel,`` a voice whispers in my ear. I turn around to find Shayoran, the one who had his hand on my shoulder the whole time. It surprised me, because Shayoran and I hadn't spoken a lot to each other.

``Thank you,`` I whisper back. He looks a little embarrassed. I turn back to face the witch.

``So?`` I ask expectantly.

``So, you can now consider yourself a part of the group. But you will pay the price.`` she answers. I nod. I'm ready. She starts to turn around, but stops short and turns back, like she forgot something important.

``As for my reasons,`` she says, ``Because you did not pay the price in the beginning, you never should have been transported to this world. Therefore, you were not meant to be here.`` I don't get it. If I wasn't supposed to be transported, then why did I end up here? And what does she mean 'not meant to be here'?

``It was just a coincidence,`` I say. ``I was just at the wrong place, at the wrong time.``

``There is no such thing as coincidence in this world. There is only 'Itsuzen'.`` she answers before disappearing. I can't say I tried to stop her. The ray of light retreats back in Mokona's jewel. I turn to face the others. My companions now, whether I like it or not.

I'm Aisha Kazumi, 17 years old, and officially homeless.

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Hey, peoples! Aisha here. Yuuko wanted to add something about this episode, so here it is!

Why is she making me look like the villain? I want you all to know that I did everything for her own good. I would tell you why, but I have a feeling Aisha will kill me for spoiling her story. So I'll just leave it at that: I am not the evil, selfish, controlling woman she describes in this episode. Watanuki!!! Bring back that liquor! And make me some snacks! Pronto! And while you're in the kitchen, bring us some more sake!

We can all see that… So, see you in the next chapter!


	5. Midsummer night's talk

Disclaimer: I do not own TRC or CLAMP. I own my characters. End of story.

This chapter might be a little boring; it's just a bunch of yap-yap. It's mostly Aisha getting to know Kurogane and Shayoran better. Oh yes, and I've been told that it was 'Hitsuzen' instead of 'Itsuzen'. I'm sorry if I confused some people, but just so you know, I've seen it both ways. It depends on the translation. Like there's three ways of writhing 'Fai' and at least half a dozen to write 'Shayoran' (yes, I've seen that much.)

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I can't sleep. I know I should be exhausted, but all that happened today has the opposite effect on me. And I don't mean to be rude, but the floor in Chunyiang's house is downright uncomfortable. I toss and turn for a few hours, trying every position I can think of. When I get to the standing position, I decide maybe I better walk around a bit. So I end up outside, on the newly repaired roof. I always liked high places. Of course, back in Hanshin it was much higher – I used to climb a skyscraper. I sit there a while, letting the cool night air caress my skin. The air is so different here, unfiltered by the many buildings and the factories that let out a toxic scent. The nightlife is also different, consisting in a couple of squirrels. Back home, the streets were bustling with life at all hours. I tried not to think about how my mother was part of that nightlife. I tried not to think about how I would never see her again. At this point, even having her disappear from my life was a hard blow. I heard a faint noise from the side of the house. I didn't even bother to check what it was. The noise made its way up the side of the house, onto the roof.

``Hey,`` I called, not moving from my position. A figure let itself fall next to me with a grunt. To tall to be Shayoran or one of the girls.

``Couldn't sleep?`` I ask. The figure shifts its weight.

``Why else?`` Kurogane's voice calls from the darkness. We stay there, neither of us budging. I stare in the darkness and go on thinking about my lost life.

``Why do you want to go back?`` Kurogane asks after a long wait. I finally turn my head to look at him.

``What do you mean?``

``I heard you talk about your life back there,`` he says. ``Didn't seem like you liked it much. So why go back?``

``Because,`` my gaze shifts back in front of me, ``they're my family. Wouldn't you go back?`` A heavy pause installs itself between us. I turn back towards Kurogane, waiting for an answer. He squirms uncomfortably.

``Yeah,`` he finally sighs. ``I guess I would.`` I can tell I just steered something painful in his memory, the way his sigh drags on and he edges away from me. I reach out and softly place my hand on his arm. Surprisingly, he doesn't evade from it.

``What was that about your mother?`` he grunts, visibly trying to change the subject. A smile stretches my lips at his childish attempt to do so.

``What about my mother?`` I ask.

``She was… um… Alcohelik?`` he stumbles on the last word. I can't help but laugh, though it wasn't that funny. Laughing is such a relief now, more than ever.

``Alcoholic. She's alcoholic.`` I answer, shaking my head like I would to a small child. He grunts, visibly annoyed.

``What's that supposed to mean?``

``It means she likes alcohol too much.`` I explain. ``She gets drunk a lot.``

``She bet you when she got drunk?`` he asks, obviously not realizing he's making me uneasy. I sigh and bite my lip.

``I don't like talking about it. How about we change the subject?`` I suggest. He turns to look at me.

``I don't like it when people evade my questions.`` he says matter-of-factly, but I can hear the annoyance in his voice. I quickly think of a compromise.

``How about this: every time I answer a question from you, you have to answer one of mine.`` I suggest. After a few seconds of reflection, he grunts in approbation.

``Mine first, though,`` he says. I cradle my knees in my arms and tuck my chin between them.

``She wasn't always like that,`` I start. ``It really started once the twins were born. I was seven the first time she got really drunk. I didn't understand at the time, so when she started yelling I wasn't smart enough to get out of the way. Instead, I tried to convince her she wasn't well, and that she better go to bed. She didn't want to, and I started pulling her towards her room. She got mad, and…`` I cringe at the all-too-familiar memory, ``that's when she hit me. She slapped me again and again, yelling, telling me I was worthless. In the morning, she was always sorry, and she'd bring me out to eat. But as I got older these nights happened more often, and she didn't even bother apologizing after. So I started avoiding her and getting out of the house as often as I could. I would bring the twins to the neighbors' house and get them back when I was sure she was either asleep or out of the house.`` Silence. Kurogane doesn't make a peep. I squeeze his arm. He jumps.

``Forgot me?`` I call with a forced smile. He grunts to make me know he was listening.

``My turn!`` I chirp, trying to act as jolly as possible. I know I'm not fooling him, but I also know how he'd react if I'd start almost crying. ``Why are you traveling with us?``

``Same as you,`` he answers. ``I want to go back home.``

``And?`` I insist.

``And,`` he continues, ``I was forcefully sent to the Dimension Witch's place by my master, Tomoyo-hime.``

``Ooh, _master_. So she's like your owner or something?`` I take a big, manly voice. ``The Oh! Mighty Kurogane takes his orders from a girl!``

``Enough!`` he growls. A real grin takes place on my face, and I nudge him with my elbow.

``Aw, come on! I'm kidding!`` I say. ``The problem with you is you're just too easy to tease.`` He grunts. I roll my eyes.

``Anybody ever told you, you grunt a lot?`` I ask, slightly annoyed. A faintly menacing smile stretches his lips, making his teeth glisten in the moonlight.

``Yes,`` he answers in a gruff tone. ``And that counts as a question.``

``No!`` I protest, shaking my head in disbelief. That means he can ask me two more question, whereas I'll only be able to ask him one. ``Not fair!``

``Life isn't fair,`` he replies, cold and head-on. I turn away from him and over-dramatically sulk.

``You're so mean….`` I whine.

``Who's that Kento guy?`` he asks, totally ignoring me.

``I told you! He's a friend.`` I answer, hurrying to the next question. He snorts.

``Not so fast, kid,`` he says. ``What kind of friend?`` I hesitate. How intimate should I go with this? Sure, I'm not about to tell him everything, but if we're going to travel together, I might as well start it off in the right direction and be truthful. Besides, he's telling _me _the truth. I…think, at least. Though I'd doubt he'd lie and tell me he works for a girl. It's just not something men like him make up. I can tell, Kento was the same – though more talkative, obviously. And not so much depressed-looking. And he knew how to take a joke. Why am I comparing them again?

``A close friend,`` I finally decide on saying. ``To tell you the truth, when I'd be out at night, he was with me most of the time. And he was the leader of the gang – the one who let me in.`` Another snort. Come on, get some vocabulary!

``I take it girls are allowed in gangs?`` he asks. ``I didn't see any when I was in Hanshin.``

``We were one of the rare gangs who did allow girls. Most gangs say they're 'too weak' and stuff like that, but we just kicked their ass and saw who the weak ones were.`` I answer with pride piercing through my voice. I didn't want to sound arrogant, but hey, facts are facts. The gang wouldn't of worked without Etsuko, Ren, Kaede and me. Me and Etsuko, the fighters. Ren, the strategist. Kaede, the sneaky fly on the wall. We all had our place, and, if newcomers had doubts and complaints, they soon learned that there was no replacement for us.

``My turn!`` I cheer, turning my attention back to Kurogane.

``Hey! I just asked one!``

``Nope. You asked two. Shall I repeat our conversation?`` I offer, a victorious grin on my lips. Kurogane stares at me for a while, then surprise! He smiles.

``You have spunk, kid. I think I like you.`` he turns away and his expression goes serious again. ``That is, until you start acting like that damn Fai again.`` Startled, I just stare, wide-eyed.

``C…could you repeat that? You lost me when you smiled.`` I stutter. Kurogane doesn't turn to face me, but I can tell he finds it amusing.

``I said I think I like you. If you don't act like Fai again, that is.``

``Hey!`` I grin, nudging him. ``Teasing you is too fun! You can't just deprive me from it!``

``Watch me.`` he says, menacing to push me off the roof. I yelp and grab onto him, pulling him towards the ground.

``I fall, you fall,`` I warn. I can see a glimpse of amusement in his eyes.

``That wouldn't be a good idea,`` he replies. ``Then I'll fall on you.``

``Then you'll have your revenge and we'll all be happy.`` I say. Kurogane's eyes are back to dead-serious.

``Don't act without thinking, kid. It can cost you a lot.`` I don't know if it's his tone, or the fact that he almost pushed me off the roof, but suddenly, I feel irritated by him.

``My name is Aisha. Not 'kid'`` I reply harshly. He ignores my comment and simply pulls me up, back to a sure footing. I sit down, careful to put more distance between us this time.

``So…`` I begin, a little sorry to have snapped at Kurogane. ``What did you do in your country? Like, were you a ninja or something?``

``Yes, I was a ninja. The strongest.`` he boasts.

``Don't let it get to your head too much, eh?`` I mutter for myself.

``What was that?!`` he growls.

``You're a big fat-headed show-off!`` I yell back. ``I bet your head is so fat you can't even go through the door! I'm seriously wondering how you're not totally out of balance right now! You're a jerk!`` I don't know why I got so worked up. I don't know why I'm screaming. I say more, but my words get lost and I don't hear them. Startled, Kurogane is staring at me, wide-eyed and puzzled. I can tell he's wondering why I exploded like that. I wouldn't be able to answer. My throat goes dry and raspy from yelling. Finally, out of breath, I shut up. Kurogane had backed up unconsciously, almost to the other side of the roof. I notice that I am now standing, towering above him.

``What… was that for?`` he asks, his brows knitting in incomprehension. Suddenly realizing what I've done, I let myself fall on the roof, bewildered. I had never exploded like this before. I had never shown any strong emotions to a stranger, and now I was doing so twice in the same day! I let go a sigh of relief.

``That felt good,`` I realized. It did. I just felt like I had to let go of my emotions, let them guide my actions sometimes. It felt… different. Free. Easy. I should have tried that years ago.

``Your turn!`` I chirp, turning towards Kurogane. He looks more puzzled now then when I was yelling. I smile to reassure him, but obviously have the opposite effect.

``What is the matter with you?`` he asks, this time more imperiously.

``I'm sorry. I just had to… you know, get it out of my system.`` I have a sheepish laugh. ``I don't get myself sometimes, so I don't expect people to get me.`` Kurogane clears his throat.

``Um… okay.`` he starts. ``What's with your hair?``

``What about my hair?`` I ask, twirling a piece of it around my finger.

``It's a weird pink color.`` Ah, yes. That.

``It's naturally dirty blond,`` I tell him. ``It's just that one day, I decided to get a temporary hair dye, and, um… `` I laugh sheepishly again. ``I chose bright pink. It was supposed to leave after a week, but it never did. So now it's a little pink.`` He looks at me, lifting an eyebrow skeptically.

``Okay, fine, it's a lot pink!`` I admit. ``But it'll grow out eventually.``

``Humpf. I'll never get kids these days,`` Kurogane grunts, ``They do the strangest things.``

``Don't talk like a middle-aged man,`` I say. ``I'm sure you're not that old. Besides, you did some pretty wild things too when you were my age. Admit it.``

``I do admit,`` his lips stretch in one of his murderous smile. ``I did kill my share of monsters at fifteen. And I am _not_ middle aged!`` he adds after a pause.

``And I am _not_ fifteen!`` I reply, slightly harshly. ``I'm seventeen, for the middle-aged man's information!``

He mutters something like, ``…not middle-aged! And how was I supposed to know how old she was? Those kids keep getting shorter…`` I smile and turn my face so he doesn't see me do so. It's fun to tease someone, and I'm glad I have such an impact on him. Fai's not going to be the only one teasing him tomorrow! Especially now that I know what bugs him, other than stupid nicknames. I'm going to have to review my age jokes…

``And by the way,`` I say,`` I'm actually tall for a girl my age.`` I'm taller than Shayoran, and I almost reach Fai's eye level. I know, it's freakishly tall, but you get used to it. Besides, it's really useful when you fight against guys all the time – you're actually about their size. I glance at Kurogane, trying to figure out how I measure up to him. At the angle he's facing, I see the moon reflect in his eyes. A glimpse of them stops me short.

``Are your eyes… red?`` I ask, bewildered. I have never seen red eyes before. Like, _ever_.

``Yup. Is that a problem?`` he grunts in response.

``No, its just…`` I try to find my words. ``People in my world don't have red eyes. It's actually considered a sign of evil.``

``Then my eyes suit me,`` he says with his murderous smile. ``I like my enemies to be scared… before they die.`` I can't help but shiver. I have to admit, Kurogane scares me.

``You killed a lot of people when you were a ninja?`` I ask in a small voice.

``I'm going back inside,`` he answers, totally ignoring my question. ``You should go back soon too, kid.``

``Aisha,`` I protest, but just to say I did. Kurogane gets up and leaves the roof without a word. I follow his footsteps until he gets back in the house. Then I lay down on the roof with my hands under my head.

And I look at the moon.

I hear footsteps beside me. Kurogane again? Too light. Fai? Shayoran? Maybe. I doubt its Sakura or Chunyiang; they both seemed to be out cold when I left the house. Then again, I must've dozed off for a while, so they could be up. Just to make sure, I open my eyes. The sun is just getting up, so there's not much light out; just enough to see a few shapes and colors.

``Go back to sleep,`` I grunt to the lone figure standing above me. ``It's still dark outside.`` I hear a yelp and a thud.

``You… you scared me, Aisha-san,`` Shayoran's voice answers. ``I didn't see you there.``

``Obviously, since you almost stepped on me.`` I grunt again. God, I'm starting to sound like Kurogane. Stretching every limb in my body, I get up in a sitting position.

``Well, now that you woke me up, we might as well talk.`` I say, inviting him to sit next to me. He politely declines the offer.

``I was just here for a while,`` he says. He doesn't move though, and stands there, as if waiting for something.

``Did you sleep here, Aisha-san?`` he asks, trying to start a conversation.

``Yup.`` I answer, popping the 'p' sound with my lips. ``I guess cold wind and the sound of squirrels running around have that effect on me. And let go of the –san. I'm Aisha.`` I add.

Totally ignoring my comment, he continues: ``Is it because Mokona snores? I could ask him to stop for you, Aisha-san.``

``Aisha! My name is Aisha!`` I insist. A funny fact dawns on me. ``Mokona snores?`` I ask. I didn't realize it.

``Yes.`` Shayoran answers. ``I know, because when we were in Hanshin we shared a room.`` The though of little Mokona snoring makes me giggle. Then again, the though of him swallowing a magic stick whole would have been crazy before yesterday.

``Are you up here because Mokona snores?`` I ask, half-teasing.

``No. I had to think.`` Shayoran answers simply.

``Oh, right. You guys are going to the Ryanban's palace today, right?`` He looks at me, a little surprised.

``You're not coming, Aisha-san?`` he asks in a small voice. I shrug.

``I don't know. Am I invited?`` I ask in return.

``Only if you want to,`` Shayoran answers. ``I wouldn't want to force you. It _was_ impolite of me to assume you would come too… I just though…``

``Hey, relax.`` I smile at his over-polite attitude. ``I was planning on coming anyway.``

``Are you sure? Because I'm sure the others won't mind if you don't -`` I cut him short.

``I'm going and that's final. Got it?`` I say in a tone that allows no reply. He looks up at me.

``Thanks.`` he says. Though his face barely changes, his features light up and I can tell he really means it.

``You love Sakura a lot, don't you?`` I ask, changing the subject. There wasn't much to continue on this one, anyway. My question seems to make him uneasy.

``I… well… Sakura-hime and I have known each other for a long time… she's the princess of my country. She's been very nice to me and… I wouldn't let anything happen to her.`` he says, first searching for his words, and then with a straight, determined face.

``So you love her,`` I conclude.

``No! I mean… I don't…`` he avoids my gaze and turns as red as a tomato.

``There's no shame in admitting it. Besides, you can see it three miles away,`` I say.

``R…really?`` he starts to panick.

``No worries, though. I don't think anybody think wrongly of it.`` I reassure him.

``Are… are you sure?``

``Absolutely.`` I should have followed my advice, I think gruesomely. Admit it before it was too late. My face must've shown my emotions, because Shayoran says:

``Did you have someone you… cared about in your world, Aisha-san?``

``Yeah. And I don't want to talk about it.`` I answer gruesomely. He doesn't insist.

``There's one thing I don't understand,`` he says instead. ``The Dimension Witch… what did she mean about taking your 'home'? I mean, I know she took away their memories of you, but… ``

``She means I won't be part of them again.`` I answer. He stares at me, puzzled.

``You mean…``

``I mean,`` I start again, ``Even if I do make it to Hanshin and meet them again, our bond will never be the same.`` He still doesn't look like he gets it. I know I'm being unfair, but it's annoying me. The answer seems too obvious to me if you just think about it for a while.

``Look,`` I attempt a third time to explain, ``she took away Sakura's memories of you, right? That was your price?`` He nods slowly.

``How did you…?`` he starts.

``Fai and Kurogane. They were talking about it when we were fixing the roof.``

``Oh.`` is his answer.

``Anyway,`` I continue, ``the witch didn't totally erase the possibility of you two becoming friends again, right?`` He nods again, more hesitantly this time. I don't think he gets where I'm going with this.

``Well, she did for me.`` I continue. ``Even if I do meet them again, we'll just be… acquaintances. You know?`` He seems to get it now. As he nods in understanding, a question escapes his lips.

``Is Kurogane-san being nice to you, Aisha-san?`` I perk up. Where did that come from?

``Why are you asking that?`` I ask. He looks uneasy.

``Well, you see, I heard you and Kurogane-san on the roof last night. You were screaming, and I though… well, maybe, that he said something to make you angry.`` he says in the same breath. I'm still on my guard.

``You didn't hear anything else?``

``No. I didn't even hear everything you said when you were screaming. Kurogane-san went back in soon after, and I fell back to sleep.`` he answers. I let out a sigh of relief. That question game with Kurogane made me say some pretty personal things.

``He didn't do anything,`` I say. ``I was just very tense, and I had to take it out on somebody. He happened to be there and to annoy me. So I exploded. I'm over it now,`` I reassure Shayoran, seeing his slightly scared expression.

``He was… annoying you?`` he asks after he made sure I wasn't going to explode on him.

``Yeah. I said thing then that I didn't really mean. Well, not to that point, anyway.``

``Am I annoying you?`` The question takes be aback. Is he annoying me? Not more than the others, I guess…

``Honestly? You _all_ annoy me.`` I admit. ``I'm not even sure I'm going to get called by my actual name by the end of this.``

``What do you mean?`` he asks. ``Is it an expression from your world?``

``Nope. It's the cold and hard truth. You call me 'Aisha-san', Kurogane calls me 'kid', Fai doesn't call me anything at all, and Sakura hasn't even spoken to me yet! I think I scare her. Do you think I scare her?`` I blab out.

``Um… I think… maybe… um…`` he looks confused ``I'm sorry if I offended you, Aisha… -chan`` he manages to spit out.

``See? Now was it that hard? We have accomplished a step in the right direction,`` I state, imitating my history teacher and holding my finger up while speaking in a dramatic tone. To my surprise, Shayoran laughs a bit.

``So, shall we get ready to invade the palace?`` I continue, still imitating Sorata-sensei.

``Yes,`` Shayoran answers. And by the look on his face, I can tell he's ready.


	6. Entering the palace

Disclaimer: I do NOT own TRC or CLAMP. I own Aisha, though. She is MINE!!! Sorry.

I appreciate your comments, but please nothing mean. If you don't like my story, go ahead, but don't post nasty comments. If you have ideas to make it better, I'm open though. And since it seemed to make so many people upset, I changed my way of writing Syaoran. I hope this one is an accepted version!!! I will also write 'Hitsuzen' with an H from now on. Thanks for telling me I was making mistakes!

Comment please!!!!!

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I like the clothes from this country. Sure, they have nothing to do with my tank top and capris, but they're comfortable. The outfit Syaoran and the others brought back from the market must be at least two sizes too big, but I'm grateful they thought of me. I'm also not sure it's a girl's outfit, seeing it looks much more like Fai's or Shayoran's than Sakura's. Or maybe it's just a less girly version. Either way, it kind of looks like a kimono, but the skirt part of it has a slit on the side, and there's some sort of pants under it. And the sleeves aren't nearly as baggy. Though I still have to roll them up because, as I said before, the outfit's too big. Heck, I'll live. I pass my new whip through my belt, take a last glance at my pant legs – wouldn't want them to drag on the ground, would we? – and step outside in the sun.

``NO!`` the words greet me as soon as I step out. Chunyiang and Sakura are facing the boys, and both parties are sizing each other up like before a fight. I doubt the fight has anything to do with Sakura – she looks as sleepy and detached as ever. But Chunyiang is obviously trying to prove who's boss. Fists clenched, fighting stance, a fiery determination in her eyes… yep, she's pissed.

``I want to go to the Ryanban's place too!`` she yells across to the guys.

``The Ryanban's palace is under a spell.`` Fai tries to explain, never departing of his everlasting grin. ``It will be very dangerous.``

``I know that! I want to come too!`` Chunyiang responds in a booming voice, right beside me. I cringe. The girls' got good lungs, I can tell you that! I couldn't last two minutes of screaming like she does. Fai looks pensively at Chunyiang, then at me, then at Mokona, and then at Chunyiang again.

``Hmmm… That's quite a headache.`` he says, still grinning. He then turns around and glances at Kurogane. The big guy looks surprised to be brought in the conversation.

``I'm not good with kids,`` he simply states, turning his head away to avoid Fai's eyes.

``That's because you're the type to be easily embarrassed,`` Mokona yelps joyfully from atop Fai's head. Kurogane's features seems to darken.

``Ask her!`` he yells, pointing at me. ``She has a brother and sister, she should know how to handle this!`` Fai turns expectantly towards me. I take a look at Chunyiang – shivering from anger and with a look that says '_don't you dare get in my way_'. Sigh. I've seen that look countless times before. It's the same Hinata used to give me when I wouldn't let her go to a friend's house because she had homework. Hinata… Get yourself together, geez! Stop thinking about them! I shrug.

``When they get worked up at this point,`` I say, ``it's usually the time to cut out the reasoning and start the bribing. Personally, I use candy. But I'm not sure it'll work in this case.`` I add, looking at Chunyiang. Okay, so I'm maybe not the fittest person to raise kids and most parents would gasp in horror after hearing what I just said, but given the circumstances, I assume I haven't done that bad a job. Fai doesn't seem to know much about parenting either, because he seems to be seriously thinking about it.

``Hmmm….`` he raises his finger to his chin in a pensive stance. ``I don't have any candy. Tell me,`` he says, turning towards Chunyiang, ``is there something we could get you that you want?`` She seems horrified at the idea of being bought. She throws herself on Syaoran, who is seemingly her only ally left.

``Please let me come! I want to defeat the Ryanban!`` she screams. ``I want to avenge my mother!`` Tears of rage pool in her eyes and her screaming gets more desperate. ``We'll go together! It's alright, right?! Syaoran!`` The later had kept a closed face throughout the entire thing. Then, without even looking at her, he brushes her off.

``No,`` he says, turning away. ``You will wait here with Sakura-hime.`` His voice is cold, and leaves room for no reply. He then leaves, without even a glance in Chunyiang's direction. She looks crushed, head bowed, muscles limp in defeat. Fai and Kurogane follow Syaoran, giving us girls nothing more than a sideways glance. I feel anger building up inside me. I understand they don't want Chunyiang to come. It's going to be much too dangerous for a girl her age. But to just leave her here, devastated, and treat us like nothing more than dead weight, that's too much. Chunyiang looks like she's about to cry. I can't imagine what it's like, to want something so bad you would do anything for it, and then be left out when it will finally happen. I remember what it was like, at her age, when I was constantly told I was too young, too weak, or 'just a girl'; how helpless I felt, how in the way… I pulled through it, but I know how hard it was to emerge from it with decency and self-confidence. I know how hard it was to understand what Kento told me when you're someone has proud as Chunyiang. I put my hand on her shoulder. I guess I'd better tell her now, before she starts thinking the wrong thing.

``You are not in the way. `` I tell her. She looks up to me with a slightly surprised expression. ``Listen, the reason th… we didn't want you to go isn't because you would slow us down. It's because we don't want anything to happen to you.`` I explain.

``You say that…`` Chunyiang says, her voice quivering. ``It's because I can't use powerful spells, isn't it?``

``Trust me, you could have been the most powerful mage in the world, we still wouldn't gave let you go. I wouldn't of, anyway.`` I reassure her.

``But…!`` she seems determined to prove me wrong. ``They didn't try to stop _you_ from going! You are going, aren't you?`` she asks, a little suspicious. I shrug.

``I am, but other than Syaoran, they don't know that.`` I say matter-of-factly.

``Can _you_ use spells?`` she asks suspiciously.

``Nope. But I can fight,`` I answer.

``Girls don't fight!`` she protests, horrified. I shrug again.

``So I've been told. But trust me,`` I add, ``you're a fighter, Chunyiang. Doesn't matter how you decide to do it, don't be afraid to fight for what you believe in. You're just… not ready yet.`` I give her a faint smile. I squeeze her shoulder and start walking away.

``Besides,`` I call back, ``we're going to need someone to set things right once this is over.`` I don't see her expression, but I know just that probably made a difference. It would have made one for me. If someone would have told me that when I was her age… but I'm not that wide-eyed little Aisha anymore. I'm myself, and I have to deal with it. That's what I tell myself as I run to catch up to the guys. Because, even if I end up being more than they bargained for, they'll have to deal with it too. I smile stretches across my lips; I think they just might surprise me yet.

``Hey guys, wait up!``

When I finally reach them, my only greeting is a nod and smile from Fai, and a grunt from Kurogane.

``What is _she_ doing here?``

``I'm coming with you,`` I answer, putting my hands on my hips and cocking my hip to the side. He lifts an eyebrow skeptically, but doesn't add anything. I adjust my pace to theirs, and turn myself towards the palace. My tongue brushes against my teeth in anticipation. This is going to be fun.

``Thanks for letting me come,`` I whisper to Syaoran. He barely looks at me.

``Thank you for coming,`` he replies.

``Not like I had anything else to do today,`` I shrug. I can see a faint smile play on his lips before disappearing. This guy's focused. I let him pass me, and fall besides Kurogane. The big guy's features are blank, the way many people's are before a fight. I've seen so many, I can tell what kind of person you are simply by seeing how you prepare yourself for a battle. Kurogane's the type to let nothing in his way, and he will never accept defeat. He also will have no mercy or compassion for his opponents. But, you can tell he's very protective, or else he wouldn't fight like that. And someone who fights like that usually has something to prove. Syaoran will not give up as long as he's breathing, but he won't be cruel either. If you're out of combat, he won't bother with you anymore. He seems to be the caring type, but he looks like he's better at taking care of others than himself. Fai… he's a pretty tough one. He's just smiling, the way he always does, but I can see his muscles are ready to tense up at a moment's notice. I guess he's the type not to care about the fight until it's right in front of him, which means he's more of a defensive fighter. Kaede was a defensive fighter. She wouldn't show any intent to fight until she was surrounded and practically hopeless. _Then_ she'd beat the crap out of everyone in her path, not stopping until no one was left standing. Maybe Fai does the same thing. Or, maybe he just stands there and laughs at their opponents while Syaoran and Kurogane take care of them. For some reason, I could picture him doing that. But then, I guess he wouldn't have bothered to come if he knew he wouldn't help. As the palace gets closer I can feel the tension go up, especially Syaoran. He really wants that feather. The palace doors are just a few feet away, when I realize I have no idea what to expect in there. The calm expectation that usually prevails before a fight isn't here. I clench my fist on the spot the gapping pain appeared yesterday. There's no pain now, just an emptiness that scares me more than any kind of pain. _You don't need me anymore… _Did she really believe that? For the first time since she left me, her absence hits me like a ton of bricks. When we get in there, I really will be alone, unable to count on anyone but myself. My breathing gets ragged, and I feel something humid fall on my cheek. A tear. I don't bother wiping it away. I'm alone now. Alone.

``Are you alright?`` it takes me a while to figure out the concerned voice is talking to me. Fai is leaning towards me, worry in his big blue eyes. ``Are you sure you want to come?`` he continues. For a moment, I am tempted to go back, leave them with their business. Indulge in my own pain. But I don't. _Trust yourself, _she had said also. I was never the type to let anything get in my way. I had to trust myself. I had to trust others, too. So maybe I couldn't depend on my kudan anymore, but there was nothing I could do about it now, so why let it control my life? Besides, as I take a look at my companions, I realize that I'm not really alone. Sure, they won't ever replace my kudan, and even less my friends, but they're all I got. And I guess I can count on them, to a certain point. So I look at Fai, take a deep breath and lift my chin in a defiant position.

``Let's do this.`` I answer.

Kurogane pushes against the door, all his muscles flexed. I'm not sure it's the right thing to do. Didn't Chunyiang say there was a powerful spell around the palace that prevented anyone from entering? I can't be sure, but I have a feeling the villagers already tried the front door. So what makes him think we'll be an exception? But I don't have time to voice my opinion, because at that moment the door opens with a not-so-reassuring creek. Instead of the hallway or courtyard I was expecting, the door opens up to… the village?! It's a bird's eye view of Chunyiang's village! How…?

``We're in the sky!`` Mokona chirps.

``The castle is protected by a spell,`` Fai explains, like an indulgent teacher to his impatient students. I can tell he's teasing us. ``I suppose the other entrances are like this as well. And that is why…`` Imaginary drum roll. ``It's time for the present the Dimension Witch gave us to make an appearance!`` he calls out like a TV show announcer. He's doing his sparkle smile again… Syaoran takes the 'present' from out of his shirt. I would hardly call that a present. I mean, Fai did have to give away his magic stick for it. We all look at the brown ball skeptically for a few seconds.

``So… how does it work?`` I ask. ``Is there an 'ON' button somewhere?``

``Throw it!`` Mokona sings.

``Huh?`` Syaoran, Kurogane and I say in unison.

``Throw it with all your strength! Throw it onto the castle!`` he explains. I don't get it. How is simply throwing it onto the castle going to break a powerful spell? Isn't magic supposed to be very complicated with incantations and incense and flashing lights? Instead, all we have to do is throw a ball? I doubt it will break the spell. I can feel the same energy as the Ryanban's wind literally saturating the walls of the palace. It seems like nothing can break it, not even the strong aura around the ball. After a quick chat with Mokona, Syaoran throws the ball in the air. I wonder for a moment if he gets what Mokona said. Wasn't he supposed to throw it onto the castle, not above himself? But as I open my mouth to say something, Syaoran kicks the ball with a perfect roundhouse, sending it flying through the sky. Before my eyes, it splats in midair, spreading to cover an invisible dome around the palace. For a moment it seems like the energies are fighting each other, but the ball's aura quickly takes over, and the whole thing disappears. The air around us suddenly seems empty, like something went missing. It takes me a while to realize its because most of the energy around the palace is gone, and so is the aura of the brown ball. In front of us, the door no longer leads to the sky, but to a huge hallway that seems to have no end. The others are already inside.

``Aisha-san! Are you coming?`` I hear Syaoran call. I follow them in the hallway, calling back:

``What happened to Aisha-chan? Huh? We made such good progress!`` I'm a little disappointed he went back to calling me '-san'. I don't want them to treat me like a stranger. As I catch up to them, Fai asks me:

``Are you sure you're alright? You looked pretty upset back there.``

``I'm fine!`` I growl. The last thing I want is my moment of weakness broadcasted over to everyone. He backs away, his eternal smile on his face, hands up in a gesture of peace.

``Okay, okay. I said nothing.`` he chuckles. I don't know why, but I seem to amuse him. That fact doesn't make me feel any better. I walk ahead of everybody, carefully avoiding their gazes and making my way towards the end of the hallway.

The end of the hallway never comes. We've been walking for at least fifteen minutes, and no sign of even a door. I'm starting to get annoyed, and I'm not the only one.

``How long are we supposed to walk around this hallway?`` Kurogane grunts angrily.

``Until we find you some patience!`` I reply. Fai is in front now, putting his hand like a visor over his eyes, like he's trying to look for something in the distance.

``I'm trying the best I can, but I still can't figure out where this thing leads to.`` he says. Mokona – who is on Fai's head – dances a little shuffle.

``Kurogane is so useless!`` he calls.

``Stop perching on our heads!`` the ninja yells back. I slow down and shift my gaze to Syaoran. He's just standing there, staring at a dot on the floor.

``We just came back to the same spot,`` he says unexpectedly. We all turn towards him now.

``It does look like the same…`` Kurogane remarks.

``But we've been walking straight along the hall,`` Fai protests. Syaoran bends down and picks up a small black stone from the floor.

``I dropped this at the entrance,`` he explains.

``'Buu'! Syaoran-kun is good!`` Fai says, impressed. Kurogane and I stare at him with a mix of disgust and surprise.

``Did you just say 'Buu'?`` I ask.

``It's not whistling!`` Kurogane adds. Fai just looks up at him with a smile.

``I don't know how to whistle,`` he admits. Kurogane replies with a very verbal scolding, but I don't pay attention. Leaving them to their conversation, I slowly approach the wall on my right. There's a very strong energy coming from behind it. I had sensed it when we had entered, and it had constantly disappeared and reappeared since. I thought it was simply because we were passing different rooms, and some contained something magical. But now that I have the confirmation we were going around in circles, I'm starting to wonder… what's behind it? My fingers lightly brush against the wall and I feel the sudden surge of energy penetrate me. I feel my senses drown in silence. A feeling of bliss overpowers me, as the world seems to disappear. I don't want that feeling to end. I don't want to go back. I know that power isn't mine, but for a few seconds I feel so strong I could burst. A shiver brushes down my spine when I realize I _want_ that power. I _want_ to be that powerful. _To replace what I lost. _The phrase forces itself in my mind. Suddenly, it's like something breaks and I find myself hurtling through the darkness with no control. My eyes burst open and I surface. I gasp, like I forgot to breathe will I was touching the wall.

``What did you find?`` a joyful voice asks beside me. I yelp and jump in surprise. But it's just Fai, peering from behind my shoulder. I'm still panting from my experience.

``I think… there's something… behind the wall.`` I pant, resisting the urge to touch the wall again. To feel that bliss again. That power. And that phrase: _to replace what I lost. _What did I lose that this power could replace?

Fai approaches the wall beside me. Like me, he softly brushes his fingers against it. Like me, he closes his eyes. I can feel the energy penetrate him. For a second, I'm jealous. Does that energy just give itself to whoever touches the wall? But my jealousy is drowned when I take a better look at Fai. His clothes and hair are flowing in an inexistent breeze. As I gaze down, I notice his feet aren't even touching the ground! It's like the power itself is lifting him. Fai opens his eyes, as if in a daze. His lips move silently.

``…is it here?`` I make out. His voice is different, like he's not really there.

``Did you find anything?`` Syaoran asks from behind us. Fai' eyes flutter, and I can tell he's back. His feet are back on the ground now, and the power is back behind the wall, where it belongs.

``I have no credit.`` he answers Syaoran, putting his arm around my shoulders. I shudder a bit, but don't push him away. ``Our little sorceress in training here is the one to thank.`` I'm not the only one to look at him, surprised. What did he just call me?

``I'm not a sorceress…`` I protest, but my voice is just a whisper. Fai shrugs.

``Witch, sorceress, magician… you can call yourself whatever you want.`` he says. I shake my head vigorously.

``You don't understand… I can't use magic!`` I explain. He doesn't seem convinced.

``This kind of magic,`` he explains, pointing the wall, ``only exists in places were magical powers are the strongest.``

``So maybe the Ryanban's in there?`` Kurogane seems suddenly interested.

``I can't be sure,`` Fai's rubbing his hand against the wall now, ``but you can feel a strong power here too, no?`` I glance at the others. Neither seems to know what Fai's talking about. So, maybe I _am_ different? Or maybe it's a dimension thing… people from certain dimensions can feel magic and others can't?

``Shouldn't you be unable to use magic?`` Kurogane asks Fai, looking skeptic.

``It's not magic, it's intuition.`` The later defends himself. I brighten when I understand what his words mean for me.

``Ah-ha!`` I yell, pointing an accusating finger at Fai. ``So you just admitted I don't need powers to sense magic! Which means I don't have any!`` I say in a triumphant voice. My discovery doesn't seem to affect Fai's opinion. Instead of admitting defeat, he simply gives me a mysterious smile. He puzzles me. I just gave him proof that he's wrong, and he just smiles like I'm the one who's wrong. I don't have time to argue my point, because at that moment Kurogane punches the wall down. The force of the blow surprises me. I cringe involuntarily when I remember he got very close to punching _me_. Like he read my thoughts, Kurogane turns towards me with a hungry smile.

``I warned you.`` he mouths to me, penetrating in the gap through the wall. I follow him, surprised to see that now that the wall is broken, the energy isn't so concentrated. Can it escape through the hole Kurogane made? I step in a humongous room, almost bare except for vapory drapes hanging in the middle of the room. Behind those drapes is the source of the power itself. I can make out a silhouette, but barely.

``Who's there?`` Syaoran calls out to the figure. It moves a bit, pushing the drapes to the side so we can get a better look at it. 'It' turns out to be a woman. Her long hair is put up in a ridiculous up-do, and she completes it with an elaborate hair ornament. Her black dress flows to the ground and the woman herself seems to give out an aura of grace.

``You have finally arrived,`` the voice startles me. It's sweet, feminine, and yet it gives me chills. The voice seems to come from all directions at a time, seeping through my very soul. ``You nameless wanderers.``

``Who are you?`` Kurogane demands imperiously. I can tell the very existence of the woman bothers him. She's not what he expected, and he's trying to hide his surprise by being rude. How cute. The woman sighs.

``After 100 years of existence, humans are still so similar to insects. Be careful how you use that mouth.`` she cautions. ``That is what I would like to say, but it's been a long time since I've had guests, so I'll tolerate it.`` she adds sweetly. I can't shake the feeling that this woman is _not_ friendly.

``So spit out where the Ryanban is, then.`` Kurogane orders. I hiss a bit. That did not seem like the right thing to do. The woman doesn't seem to mind, though, because she chuckles.

``Really cute little children,`` she says. Just then, I notice her nails. Make that claws! She could kill someone with things like that! For some reason, that thought just makes me back away more.

``We are seeking something that may be in this castle.`` Syaoran tries. ``So could you please tell us where the Ryanban is?`` The woman stares at him for a few seconds before speaking.

``You have very pleasant eyes…`` she says, holding out her hand towards Syaoran.``Very bright.`` She seems sorry for us. ``But I can't answer your question. And I'm afraid…`` she adds, ``that I cannot let you pass this place.``

``Uh, I get the impression that you'll be rough with us so we can't pass, right?`` Fai asks.

``Right,`` the woman agrees. I think I see the shadow of a smile, but my mind is suddenly taken somewhere else. Instead of the large room we were in just a moment ago, I am now standing on a pillar, several meters above what seems to be a lake. The woman is still standing at the same spot, but traded her drapes for a pagoda. I look around. The walls seem to have disappeared. The others are all standing on their individual pillars, and strange spheres are floating around in the air.

``An illusion?`` Kurogane asks.

``No.`` the woman replies. Though she is far away, I can still hear her voice as if she was right beside me. ``Illusions are used to confuses my opponents, whereas this…`` she shows her surroundings, ``is not just pretty!`` As if to prove her point, she flicks a sphere towards Syaoran, who protects himself with his arms. The sphere explodes on contact, splattering what seems like water all around him. Except water doesn't sizzle, and it doesn't burn off your clothes. Syaoran looks surprised as he stares at his dissolving sleeves.

``It's not water!`` I warn. ``It's acid!``

``The damages my secret art inflicts is real.`` the witch explains.

``So, if we get badly hurt…`` Fai starts.

``You die,`` she concludes. At that moment, all the spheres seem to activate, plunging one way or another. I dodge several, jumping from pillar to pillar, twisting, flipping, cartwheeling… At least she knows how to make things a little challenging. A pained exclamation attracts my attention. Syaoran is jumping back to a pillar, his foot badly burnt.

``The pond and the droplets have the same destructive power,`` the witch explains.

``If you fall into the pool, you'll melt!`` Kurogane warns.

``Thanks for stating the obvious!`` I reply, plunging to avoid a droplet. As I get up, a droplet suddenly changes direction and lunges for me. I try to avoid it, but it's too late. Lifting my arm to protect me, I cringe and prepare myself for the burning sensation of the droplet exploding on me. Instead, the droplet bounces away, like it hit an invisible wall. As I watch them float away, puzzled, Fai 'whistles'.

``I told you!`` he yells triumphantly. ``You _can_ use magic!``

``Don't do whistling sounds like that!`` Kurogane screams. I notice both of them are now sporting long sticks, and are using them to push away the droplets. That's a good idea…

Since I have no idea how they got the sticks, and there doesn't seem to be any left around here, I untie my whip. Crouching down, I spin it in front of me at top speed, making it into a makeshift shield. The droplets all bounce away, or explode on my whip without hurting me. As I let them pass, I wonder if Fai could be right. What was that thing? Did I really make it appear? What if I _can_ use magic? The questions are so many in my head. Why didn't I notice before? Is it normal for people from Hanshin? What if it's not normal? What if my mother knew all this time? If she did, why not tell me? Can powers appear when you change worlds? With a sigh, I burry my head in my elbow. This is just too much to think about… Right now, all I should be thinking about is saving my life.

``Well, no point in staying to play with water forever.`` Fai states as he imitates my spinning – obviously with his stick – on the pillar beside me. ``Syaoran-kun!`` he calls back, ``you and Mokona go first!`` I notice for the first time that Syaoran had taken shelter behind us, not wanting to move too much with his foot.

``But you, Aisha-san and Kurogane-san won't last!`` he protests.

``Yeah, but nothing will get done if we're all trapped down here,`` Fai replies. ``So you should move that foot and get ahead of us. There are more important things that you must do, Syaoran-kun.`` I see him hesitate as he takes a look around him. Sensing he's going to protest, I chip in.

``Just go already!`` I tell him. ``Besides, it's not like you're going to help us much with that foot of yours!`` I didn't want to sound mean, but I tend to get impatient with selfless people like Syaoran.

``Don't worry.`` Fai adds, taping Kurogane's shoulder. ``Kuro-pii will take care of things here, somehow.``

``Why me!!`` The big guy yells back. I can see opposite emotions fight on Syaoran's face. After a few seconds, though, his mind seems made up.

``Thanks, guys.`` he says. I smile. The truth is, I doubt we'll get out of here alive. Well, not all of us, anyway. So just to know Syaoran will and Sakura will get her feather makes me happy.

``The magic is weaker up there,`` Fai points towards the inexistent ceiling. Looking up, I can tell he's right. It's almost as if there's a breach in the witch's magic. ``You should be able to kick your way through.`` Looking at Syaoran's foot, I doubt it. But hey, who am I to know what he can do? Just then, I notice the droplets have stopped moving, and that spinning my whip is now useless. As I straiten up, Mokona peeks from Syaoran's shirt.

``Is Syaoran sure he can get that high?`` he asks in a tiny worried voice. Syaoran nods reassuringly. At that moment, the witch chips in.

``I don't know what you're talking about,`` she complains, her voice not changing expression. ``But don't let me get too bored, little children.``

``Sorry,`` Fai calls out to her. ``We'll be done soon.`` Jumping from his pillar to the end of Kurogane's stick, Syaoran crouches down and waits. After protesting – but just to say he did – Kurogane swing his stick over his head, launching Syaoran towards the breach. I hear a crash and know he's through. Lifting my arm over my head, I cheer for him.

``Bam!`` I yell.

``You two are so cool! Hyuu!`` Fai joins in. Kurogane stares at us like we're a couple of idiots.

``One person escaped. Couldn't be helped.`` I hear the witch's voice around us. Though the words aren't aggressive as such, the tone of her voice doesn't announce anything good.

``I'll just have to teach the remaining children a lesson…`` she continues, lifting her hand up. The droplets, who just moments ago were gently floating through the air, explode above us with a 'pop'. I muffle a yelp as the acid rains on us, stinging every spot of skin that happens to show at that time. A sickening sizzle announces that my clothes as well as my skin are burning. The smell of burnt flesh starts to invade my nostrils, making me gag.

``Looks like this is getting to be a pretty serious crisis,`` Fai notices.

``Ya think?`` I say.

``Humpf.`` Kurogane responds. I sigh and brace myself. This is going to be a long day.


	7. Ending the fight

Disclaimer: I don't own TRC or CLAMP yadda, yadda, yadda.

Hope you enjoy!

________________________________________________________________________

``That water does hurt,`` Fai says, but by his tone you wouldn't be able to tell if it bothers him or not.

``If it hits us, our clothes and our bodies will melt,`` Kurogane agrees.

``What is it with you and stating the obvious?`` I ask him, annoyed. For a few seconds, I regret not to have worn something heavier. That way, it wouldn't burn away as fast. But then again, how was I supposed to know I'd be doing acrobatics on pillars under an acid rain? I gave up on hiding my hands in my sleeves when I noticed they melted so fast it was no use. Other than the smell, the burning also causes a thin smoke to twirl around us. The witch hasn't seemed to pay us any attention since the rain started, and frankly I'd have enjoyed it if it had stayed that way. But all good things have an end, and the witch has once again turned her attention towards us.

``You will not be able to escape the same way that child just did, little children,`` she warns. Honestly, I thought about it, but that would mean someone would have to stay behind. That would probably be Kurogane, and I doubt he'd like that. Especially if the witch keeps sending droplets the size of the one hurtling towards the pillar Fai and Kurogane are standing on. It's bigger than both of them put together! Out of habit, Fai pokes it with his stick to send it away. But instead of flying in another direction, the droplet erupts. Fai didn't see it coming. Fai doesn't have time to move.

Kurogane does.

Reacting like a spring, he jumps to the side to avoid the acid, whacking Fai in the stomach with his stick and sending him flying out of the way.

Onto me.

Fai lands on me, pushing me off my already small pillar. Sending me hurtling towards the pool of acid under us. Clawing the air, my hand meets nothing. I unconsciously wait for my kudan to help me, until I remember: she's gone. She's gone and I'm going to die, burnt in a pool of acid. Panic overcomes me. Keeps me from breathing. Paralyzes my limbs.

And probably saves my life.

Just when I think it's all over, I feel something push me upwards. It's almost like I landed on an invisible trampoline that bounces me back to the pillar. Reaching up, I manage to grab the edge of the stone with both hands and hold on. Breathless, I wait for my lungs to calm down before climbing back up. What was that thing? Was it… magic again? I don't know, but I think so. I did feel something right before it happened, something other than the fear. Like… some sort of power growing inside me. A power that disappeared as soon as I sensed it, as unreachable as a ripple on the water. Surprisingly, I don't deny that power like I did before. I guess I have to accept there's something messed up about me sooner or later, right? Taking a glance towards the pillar Fai and Kurogane were standing on a few moments ago, I bless Kurogane's reflexes. Well, let's just say I bless them in the measure that they saved them, not the fact that he sent Fai flying on me. The pillar is half-melted – and still dripping! - and a thick smoke is erupting from it. On the other side of that smoke I see Kurogane's silhouette, who managed to safely land on a nearby pillar. Him, not the silhouette.

``Kuro-muu, you're meaaan!`` Fai whines from atop me.

``If I wouldn't of done that, you would be burnt by now,`` Kurogane grunts back.

``But you could have pushed me in a nicer waaaay.`` Fai replies. I can't see his face, but I can tell he's teasing him.

``Hey, where's….?`` Fai starts. Just then, he backs up a step, and put his foot… right on my fingers. I muffle a yelp as the pressure crushes my already burnt hand. Hearing the small sound, Fai looks down at me.

``Oh, there you are.`` he says with a smile.

``Thanks for noticing,`` I answer acidly as he offers his hand to help me up. I refuse it, hoisting myself on the pillar.

``It's nice to feel loved,`` I add sarcastically. Fai looks down at me for a while, his eyes widened in surprise. Then the surprise melts from his face, and I see something else. An emotion I can't quite identify. Quickly, he grabs my arm and pulls me to his chest, squeezing me in the hint of an embrace. I pull away just as quickly, staring with astonished eyes. My eyebrows knit in a silent question, one that I will not let unanswered.

``You were about to fall,`` Fai says as an excuse. Since the pillar is barely big enough for both of us, it makes sense. But I know myself that I was nowhere near falling. And what was that strange emotion I saw on his face, already gone as it had appeared? A hint of fear… understanding… regret? I can't tell. But I can tell this: he's lying. He's lying straight to my face, and he thinks I won't notice. I'm about to pressure him in telling the truth, but just then the witch decides to intervene.

``You are very clever, little children,`` she says softly. ``It has been a while…`` The acid from the lake starts to float around in humongous droplets, bigger even than the one she last sent the guys. All the pillars but the ones we're standing on quickly disappear, either burnt or by the witch's magic I can't tell. I get a feeling what we just went through was just an appetizer.

``I guess I won't be bored until this is over…`` she concludes.

The droplets divide in two, four, eight… until they are no bigger than the ones we first had to face. Then they start spinning around us, changing shapes and sizes as they do. None of them seem to lunge towards us though, so my only concern is that Fai's a little too close for comfort.

``The only person that was able to bear up like this in the past was that Shinban from Ryonfi,`` the witch informs us. She seems impressed. I caught on that Chunyiang's village is named Ryonfi, but I have no idea what a Shinban is. Probably some sort of magician, if he got in a fight with a witch.

``That's Chunyiang's mother, isn't it?`` Fai asks, trying to carry the conversation. I'm surprised, but it looks like I was the only one not informed. Serves me right for not sticking around the others at diner last night. I knew the Ryanban killed Chunyiang's mom, but I had no idea why. So… she was a magician? Makes sense. That would mean the Ryanban killed her because she was trying to fight him out of here.

``She said she had a girl named that,`` the witch confirms. I feel a pang of pity for Chunyiang. Loosing your mother like that, at that age… it's just too sad. I correct myself. Chunyiang wouldn't want anyone to think of her that way. She's too proud. A little too proud for her own good, I tell myself as I remember the first time I saw her, standing on a wall and insulting the Ryanban's son. The memory makes me smile. That girl sure has spunk. I meant it when I said she was a fighter and she would get far in life.

I know.

``What this country truly needs is not that stupid Ryanban and his son, but people like that Shinban and you children,`` the witch says at that moment. I think she intended that as a compliment. I can't be sure. Forgive me for not feeling anything as an enemy inexpressively compliments me. That type of behavior usually happens before a 'but this doesn't matter, I must still defeat you' kind of declaration.

``Right now, I cannot leave this place,`` the witch continues. ``I cannot reason, and my spirit has been manipulated like a puppet. My own heart doesn't tell me what's right or wrong.`` Wait, wait… I think I feel something. Nope, it's just my stomach growling. Never mind.

``I regret us parting, little children,`` she adds in a sweet but resigned voice. Seriously, that habit of calling us 'little children' is really getting on my nerves. ``But soon, it will be time to say farewell.`` she adds. For a moment, I think maybe she means she'll let us go, and that's what she means by saying farewell. But then, gigantic waves erupt from the surface of the lake, surrounding us in a lethal wall.

Never mind, she does want to kill us.

``Whoa! Isn't this what you would call a most dangerous crisis?`` Fai asks to no one in particular. His expression puzzles me. He doesn't seem bothered by the fact that we might die any second now.

``You said that when the rain started, too,`` I notice. He smiles.

``But it's still true, isn't it?`` Good point.

``Well, if we just stand here and take it, we'll die.`` Kurogane says.

``And again, Kuro-rin states the obvious,`` I announce, rolling my eyes.

``That's a huge problem,`` Fai says, ignoring my comment. ``Since I don't want to die!`` he adds with a huge grin.

``You don't want to die, and yet you won't use your magic, even in this crisis?`` Kurogane asks.

``Yup! Sorry.``

``It doesn't matter to me,`` Kurogane replies with a defiant face. Of course not. He just wanted to know so he could decide whether to get out of this himself or count on help from Fai. And I'm serious.

``What about Kuro-mi?`` the later asks.

``I'm not gonna die either, 'cause I need to go back to Japan.`` He answers. Japan… so that's his country's name. It doesn't tell me anything.

``That white bun won't leave until we find that princess's feather, so we better find it quick before we go to the next world.`` he adds a few seconds later.

``I don't want to stay too long in the same place either,`` Fai admits.

``Why?`` we ask together.

``Because, if the person sleeping underwater in my old world awakens,`` Fai starts, ``then I might get caught.`` As he says those words, though his lips are stretched into a faint smile, I see pain in his eyes. A distant pain, like it's been there for many years and he thought he got used to it. Fear, too. A deep, primal fear. Without thinking, I grab his hand and squeeze it. His burnt hand feel almost soft compared to my rough flesh. I rub my thumb on the back of his hand like I used to do with Hisho when he was scared. Right now, he makes me think of that. A little boy. Beside me is no longer standing a man, but a young boy wanting to be comforted. Unconsciously, I want to comfort him. I don't want him to be in pain. With a chuckle, he just pushes my hand away.

``So now I need to run around all the worlds…`` he explains with a smile. But for the first time, I notice how fake his smile looks. A fake smile to hide a real pain. Kurogane seems to realize it too, because the way he looks at him… well, he figured out something, all right.

``Are you done with your last conversation?`` the witch asks matter-of-factly. Her voice rings like a deadline in my ears. The only reason I'm still alive now, is because she likes to play with her prey like a kitten with a ball. When she gets bored of us… splash.

``So… what should we do?`` Fai asks.

``Yo.`` Kurogane calls. He has an idea. As I listen to it, a few flaws stick out.

``We need a backup plan.`` I point out. ``and extra padding. Have you seen those claws of hers?``

``No time,`` he grunts.

``Speaking of backup plans,`` Fai says, staring intently at me, ``Do you think you could take care of it?`` I know what he means by that. He means, 'Do you think you could use your magic to shield us?' I shake my head vigorously.

``Don't count on it,`` I mumble. I don't know how this magic thing works, and even now I can't seem to feel it. The other times I used it, I was scared, even panicked, and I don't consciously remember _wanting_ these things to happen. So ask me to use it purposely? The answer is no.

``Well then,`` Fai shrugs. He doesn't seem bothered by much. Just then, the witch decides she's bored.

``Bye-bye,`` she says, like she's just showing her guests to the door. That's my signal. As the waves crash around us with a sound big enough to wake up the dead, I pounce towards the standing witch. Arms outstretched, I dive almost headfirst with Fai at my side.

``Willing to rush your deaths?`` the witch asks. She looks a little surprised, but not the least bit threatened. I only answer with what I hope is an unreadable face. Deep inside, I'm scared to death. If things go a little bit out of plan, I'm falling straight into the pool and burning to ashes. I just hope Kurogane knows what he's doing…

Ah, there he is. Using Fai and me as support, he jumps from behind us and rush towards the witch. Just before he did so, I feel him kick me to the side, away from the lake. I'm a little surprised. I never hoped he'd remember _that_ part of the plan.

``What?!`` The witch screams. I can tell she didn't expect that. _Oh God, please make things go right! _But my prayer apparently goes unanswered, because Kurogane does land in front of the witch… and onto her claws. I hear a sickening 'tchak' as the nails penetrate the flesh. As soon as I land on the rocks surrounding the pagoda, I rush towards them.

``Kuro-san!`` I know I'm too late. I know it's already over. As I approach them, I hear her whisper in his ear:

``You're quite a schemer…`` Just at that moment, she pulls her claws out. I cringe, expecting the sight of blood. Instead, I see her nails set deeply in… the magazine from Hanshin. I think everybody in the room could hear my sight of relief.

``I hate rain,`` Kurogane explains with a smirk. ``So…`` he swings his stick towards the witch, ``Stop it.`` The stick hits her in the forehead with such force the centerpiece jewel of her head ornament shatters in a thousand pieces. I suck in a breath, waiting for something to happen. For a few seconds, it seems nothing will, but then I see it. Or rather, I feel it. The magic is retreating inside her, the pagoda is fading. In a heartbeat, we are in the room again, the witch and Kurogane standing in the circle formed by the drapes.

``If you do another strange move…`` he warns her. Surprisingly, she gets up and gently kisses him. That must have been one big hit on the head. I would _never_ kiss a guy who just whacked me with a stick. Kurogane's face is laughable. For a second, he looks like a high school kid who just got kissed for the first time. Eyes wide, breath taken away… I think I even see him blush. But then his expression reverts to its normal hard-faced self.

``You!`` he growls. ``What spell did you put on me this time!``

``That was my thanks,`` she says, almost flirting. I can't help but smile. They make such a weird couple….

``I was being controlled by the Ryanban by the spell in the stone you just broke.`` she explains. So she was being controlled by him? Wait till I get my hands on the little twerp… He's going to wish he were never born.

``Oh, I see. So because Kuro-pon broke it…`` Fai starts.

``I am now free,`` the witch concludes. ``You children have a lot of spirit. I'm sorry for blocking your way.`` Of course you are. Admit it, you still had fun almost burning us to death. ``You wanted to know where the Ryanban is, right? Those bastards are on the top floor of this castle. I guess the smallest child arrived there first.`` she says with a hint of a smile. But it fades away as she continues. ``But they're going to resort to some cowardly, unfair trick again, those misers.`` I see the hate in her eyes. Maybe I should leave her a piece of that Ryanban dude. Oh, and one for Chunyiang too.

``Well, thanks then,`` I say, heading for the exit. Fai and Kurogane follow me.

``Wait,`` she calls. I turn back to face her. ``You,`` she says, pointing at me, ``you have a fire within you. Be careful not to let it ice over.`` I cock my head to the side as I try to understand what she meant. She must see my confusion, because she explains it somewhat.

``Your soul is on the verge of both sides. Fire and ice. Light and darkness. Good and evil. Be careful not to let the darkness suppress the light I see in you.`` I can tell she's not going to explain any more, so I shrug and decide to think about it later.

``Meet us upstairs if you want a piece of him,`` I say joyfully, rushing for the door. She doesn't try to stop me this time, and I know we'll see her upstairs.

As we make our way towards the top floor, I inventory what's left of my clothing and me. My left sleeve has been burnt into oblivion, and the other one has so many holes in it you can barely call it a sleeve. The skirt part of the outfit has been reduced to rags – no, seriously, not even. The only fabric left is so torn it's not even good enough for rags. Fortunately, the pants I have under have barely been eaten away by the rain. The rest is okay – well, under the circumstances – it only has the occasional hole. As for my skin, every inch of my body is stinging like I just got attacked by particularly vicious bees. My left arm in particular is worrying me. Since my sleeve dissolved so fast my arm has been exposed pretty long to the acid rain; it's all red and I think I have more than one second-degree burn. Fortunately my face barely isn't burnt, and I think a little ointment will do the trick for the rest. A little behind me, Fai and Kurogane are exchanging a few words. I can't make them out because they're whispering. A little frustrated, I turn to face them.

``Why the secrecy?`` I ask. None of them seem to know what I'm talking about. Fai's smiling like his usual self, and Kurogane just looks inexpressively at me.

``What secrecy?`` Fai asks back.

``You were whispering,`` I accuse them.

``No we weren't.``

``Then what were you talking about?`` I ask, defiant. At first, neither of them answers. After a few seconds, Fai finally comes up with a suitable lie.

``It's nothing that would interest you,`` he answers with his brightest smile.

``Try me,`` I reply. The smile weakens a little.

``Seriously, I don't think you'd want to know what we're talking about,`` Fai insists. I give him one of my looks, the kind that means 'don't mess with me'. He sighs.

``Young girls are so pigheaded these days,`` he says, waving away my questions. I'm just about to lose my patience when Kurogane intervenes.

``Tell her, mage.`` he orders Fai. The later seems taken off guard. I guess he didn't expect that Kurogane would be on my side. He stares alternately at me, then Kurogane, then me again. Then, with a shrug, he finally decides to spit it out.

``I – well, we – were a little worried about the consequences of… your coming here. It's a little hard to explain, but…`` he scratches the back of his neck uneasily, ``I think that maybe…``

``He thinks you ain't normal.`` Kurogane finishes for him. Fai quickly corrects him.

``Not in those terms, I mean… you certainly have powers, but you don't seem to be able to use them, and… well there's something about you I don't quite get.`` he stumbles on his words. I cock my head on the side and study his face carefully.

``So you think I'm not normal,`` I conclude. ``That's nice to know. That way, I won't force you to stay around my abnormality.`` I swiftly turn on my heals and start down the hallway. My fists clench and I bite my lip. How can he say things like that straight in my face? I know I'm not normal… but to just say it like that… Oh, who am I kidding? I am abnormal. There is something messed up about me. No wonder my kudan left me. No wonder Fai is saying these things. My shoulders are quivering though no tears seem to fall down. I feel a hand on my shoulder. Push it away. It comes back again, this time pulling me back.

``Aisha.`` I listen to the soft, modulated voice that stretches the _chhh_ sound of my name. Almost against my will, my feet stop moving and my shoulders calm down. I force my eyes to stay locked in front of me. I don't want to look at his face now, to see the smile probably resting there like a silent insult. Like proof that he really doesn't care.

``Listen, I'm not saying this to insult you,`` he continues when he sees I stopped moving. ``But, you know this kind of… instinct? - something like that – that you feel around people? I'm getting a strange…vibe from you. Something I never sensed on anybody else before. And it's… puzzling me.``

``Hence the abnormality,`` I answer roughly, still avoiding his eyes. I hear him sigh.

``Could you look at me for a minute?`` he asks. I don't answer. He can just feel rejected if he wants to, I don't care. I hear his feet shuffle as he walks to place himself in front of me. I want to turn around, but his hands on my shoulders prevent me to do so. Evading his glance, I look pointedly at my toes.

``Look at me,`` he says. It's more a supplication than an order. ``Please,`` he adds. Unable to resist his tone, I finally lift my eyes to meet his. Surprisingly enough, he's not smiling. Instead, there's a resignation in his eyes that I have never seen before. Like he knows he already lost the fight.

``It might just be a dimension thing,`` he explains quickly, like he's afraid I'll turn away any second. ``Maybe people from your world all have that same vibe. And even if it's not, it's nothing to be worried about. Your power is just… unlike anything I've ever seen before.`` he takes a deep breath. He looks expectantly at me, waiting for my reaction. I don't answer right away, going through everything he just told me and deciding what to believe. It's obvious that Kurogane was a bit harsh in telling me what the conversation was about, whether purposely or not I can't be sure. And it's obvious that Fai knew I'd take it the wrong way and that's why he wouldn't tell me. Why he would talk about it to Kurogane still puzzles me, but then again, they've known each other longer than I have.

``Kuro-pin!`` Fai whines to the big guy. ``Look what you did! Now she's mad at me!`` He's back into his playful mode again. With a sigh, I finally decide to say something.

``Dammit. I'm a sucker for big puppy eyes.`` I mumble loud enough for Fai to hear me. His features light up like I gave him a present.

``So you're not mad anymore?`` he says hopefully.

``I'll think about it,`` I tease him. He must detect the playfulness in my voice, because he doesn't seem to care. Kurogane passes us with a grunt.

``Come on. The kid is waiting.`` he says. I follow him.

``How many 'kids' are there here?`` I ask, a little annoyed. ``There's me, there's Syaoran… what, is Mokona one too?`` Kurogane doesn't answer, but he does signal me to shut up. Seizing the occasion to annoy him, I don't.

``And why did you use the magazine back there? You told me there was no need for extra padding.``

``I thought of it at the last second. Turns out, you were right.`` is his answer. My hand flies to cover my mouth in mock horror.

``You mean… I… actually said something that wasn't stupid?`` I gasp. He ignores me and continues down the hallway, Fai on his heels. A smile on my face, I follow them. I will never get tired of teasing him. At least, that's what I thought then.

By the time we arrive on the top floor, the magic I've been feeling for a while now is literally floating all around us. I'm guessing it's Sakura's feather – the guys told me it was very powerful. The energy's been what was guiding us through the palace. What the witch omitted to tell us was that there was much more than one way to get to the top floor, and that not all of them were obvious. We had to go through hidden staircases, rooms disguised as closets and even through a few mirrors. Well okay, one. It was cool. You have no idea how much it tingles though! Anyway, so we arrive at the room where the energy is the strongest. I was expecting to find the Ryanban, and maybe Syaoran and Mokona. What I was _not_ expecting was what I saw in the room. The Ryanban was kneeling in front of Syaoran, holding the feather in front of him as a pitiful defense. Beside them are Chunyiang and Sakura, Chunyiang holding a mirror and quivering in anger. But what most surprises me is the fact that half the village seems to be here also! They're all talking, a low rumble that fills the room.

``Why are there so many people here?`` Fai asks. I shrug.

``How am I supposed to know?`` I answer. No one seems to pay any attention to us, except for Mokona, who swiftly jumps on Kurogane's head.

``You guys are slow!`` he whines in his tiny voice.

``Sorry! Many things have happened to us, too,`` Fai answers with a smile. Personally, I'd like to wring the little guy's neck - if he had any. What does he think we were doing? Enjoying a nice picnic with the witch over a lake of acid?

``Hand over the feather.`` The booming voice turns all heads towards Syaoran. He's slowly but surely approaching the Ryanban in a very menacing stance. ``That's Sakura-hime's memory. Hand it over!`` he orders again. The Ryanban is almost laughable. Crawling backwards away from Syaoran, he looks like a beetle. A pitiful little beetle just dying to be squished.

``Wait…Wait a second!`` he cries desperately. He's going to try to weasel himself out of it, I know it. ``With this thing, maybe we could bring back Chunyiang's mother! If I'm dead, then it can't be done!`` My eyes widen in amazement that he could be such a jerk. He killed her and now he wants to bring her back to save his little neck. Pitiful. Then again, if he can… I take a look at Chunyiang. Looking down, she's shivering like she's trying to contain her anger. I'm guessing she's going to refuse.

``YOU KILLED HER!!!`` she explodes. ``YOU KILLED MY MOTHER, BECAUSE SHE WAS TRYING TO PROTECT THE TOWN!!`` Tears are flowing down her face in a steady stream. ``Mother said it before. No matter what kind of power you use, the life that is lost cannot be restored!`` Her screaming goes more hysterical. ``NO MATTER HOW MUCH I MISS HER, I CAN'T SEE HER ANYMORE!!!`` Sakura is now holding her, gently trying to comfort her. I start forward towards them, but a hand on my arm stops me. This time, it's Kurogane.

``Let her be,`` he whispers. So I turn my gaze back upon them, silenced to a mere spectator.

``But…`` the Ryanban tries to speak.

``How dare you try to trick me!`` Chunyiang silences him. I start walking towards her again, only to be stopped by Kurogane. He doesn't speak this time, but gives me a warning look. I give up and force myself to stay put.

``Chunyiang…`` Syaoran starts, ``Do you want revenge?`` At those words, the room goes silent. A look of fear paints itself on the Ryanban's face. I can't believe that guy. One second he's the all-powerful leader, but the next he's just a coward among so many others. Heck, every last one of the people standing in this room could make a better leader. Even Sakura, with the missing memories. Syaoran is studying Chunyiang with piercing eyes.

``It might help you erase the pain,`` he says slowly,`` but this kind of person is not worthy for you to kill.`` I say forget being worthy! Hit the guy! Chunyiang closes her eyes and seems to calm down by a supreme effort.

``That kind of low-life,`` she whispers,`` I'll get my hands dirty if I hit him.`` she says louder. I clench my fist. God, she's strong. I would have jumped on the guy. Syaoran shrugs and takes a step towards the Ryanban. The coward backs away even more.

``No…! Don't touch me!`` he warns in a shrill voice. ``Don't come any closer!`` Oh yes, because of course he's such a threat. I spot a movement behind him and smile. There's still a little surprise for him…

Nails so long they look like claws wrap around his neck in a murderous embrace. The voice, sweet and feminine, rings all around the room, seeming to come from nowhere in particular.

``This is the end,`` she says in his ear. Panicked, the Ryanban tries to turn around but the witch stops him.

``How dare you imprison me in this castle,`` she accuses gently. Somehow, her sweet voice is more menacing than if it was rough and spooky. The Ryanban now looks like a fish out of water, squirming like his life depended on it. It probably does. Not able to resist the temptation to rub it in, I smile and wave at the witch.

``Hey there!`` I call. ``Nice of you to drop by!`` She looks at me and returns my smile.

``The pleasure is all mine, little children.`` she answers. The Ryanban seems to finally notice us and is staring at me with wide-eyes. I give him my little menacing smirk.

``Give him to me,`` the witch asks us. ``I will treat him very nicely.`` she adds. The Ryanban starts to panic even more than before, if that's possible.

``No…no!`` he cries. Nobody seems to want to help him.

``Looks like we can trust this witch after all.`` Fai says beside me. I nod. I knew she'd come. Behind her, a hole seems to appear out of the air. An icky substance surrounds it. I'm guessing it's a portal to wherever she comes from. She starts to enter it, dragging the Ryanban behind her.

``Stop it!`` he cries in a shrill voice.

``Don't worry,`` the witch reassures him. ``I'll make sure you and your son are reserved a royal treatment in the land of spells.`` She turns her attention to the two girls standing in the middle of the room.

``Are you the one named Chunyiang?`` she asks.

``That's right.`` Chunyiang answers defiantly. The witch studies her with motherly care.

``Your mother was a great Shinban.`` she tells Chunyiang. ``Even though she passed away when she fell in the trap set by the Ryanban, she told me she learned a lot from our battle. And she's looking forward to the day when you become a better Shinban than she was.`` Those words seem to give Chunyiang strength. Something to hold on to. The tears start to fall again, but this time they're not tears of fury and pain. This time, they're tears of love.

``Be strong.`` the witch tells her. ``Strong enough to rival me.``

``I will,`` Chunyiang answers, a new determination in her voice. ``I definitely will!`` her battle cry seems to shake the walls. The witch smiles.

``Well then, goodbye dear children,`` she says, disappearing through her portal.

``No!`` the Ryanban cries. I wave at him.

``Have fun!`` I call. They both disappear with a 'whoosh' sound. The witch's shrill laugh echoes through the entire room. I walk swiftly towards Chunyiang and ruffle her hair.

``I'm not sure what you did, but I told you we'd need you!`` I say joyfully. She looks up at me and wipes away a tear.

``Yeah,`` she answers softly. Syaoran has now picked up the feather, and is looking at Sakura. Letting the feather float to her, he observes with an inexpressive face. He did it. He accomplished his mission. No need for emotion. Sakura reaches for the feather, but it goes past her hand and penetrates her chest. At that moment, the energy seems to overload the air in the room. Sakura starts to float, eyes glazed. Everyone seems to wait for something, I don't know what. I'm about to ask when Sakura speaks.

``Why is nobody there?`` she asks in a whisper. I look around. There's a bunch of people here. Then it dawns upon me that she's probably reliving some memories right now, and that's what she's talking about. Syaoran is staring at the floor, a pained expression on his face. I assume he was the one there. I'm about to put my hand on his shoulder when Sakura starts to glide softly towards the ground. Syaoran catches her gently and sets her on the ground. A look of tenderness passes on his face when he looks at the sleeping princess. The room is enveloped in an aura of tranquility and happiness – until my growling stomach breaks the spell. I realize that I haven't eaten since yesterday morning, before this whole dimensions thing started. Yesterday at dinner, I had claimed I wasn't hungry and had skipped the meal. Now, I am starving. A funny fact dawns on me.

``Did you guys realize it's not even lunch time yet, and we already defeated a witch, upstaged a magician, found a feather and saved a town?`` I notice.

``It seems that way, doesn't it?`` Fai answers. I nod.

``And speaking of lunch… I am going to die if I don't eat something soon.`` I add. Fai laughs and gives me a playful slap on the back.

``Then off to get food!`` he announces. ``And let's celebrate this outstanding victory with alcohol!`` I have a funny feeling about Fai and alcohol.

``I'm not sure why, but I get a feeling not to trust you with anything that looks like booze…``


	8. The country of Mist

DISCLAIMER: I do not own TRC or CLAMP. Period.

So yeah. The next chapter. It might be a little boring cause not much happens, but not much happens in that world anyway. Enjoy!

________________________________________________________________________

I'm sitting on a patch of grass, looking up at the sky. The wind is cool on my face, and softly brushes against my wounds. The mix of pain and coldness that results from it is strangely soothing. I must admit that the medicine Chunyiang gave us has worked miracles, healing wounds that would otherwise have taken days and sometimes weeks to disappear completely. The only signs left of our battle with the witch are the few burns on my left arm that seemed so worrying at first. Now reduced to fine silvery lines across my skin, they will heal themselves in a few days. Who knows where we'll be then? Hopefully one step closer to home…

``Hey, Pinky! Time to go now!`` the blond wizard calls me. With a sigh, I get up. I never should have told him I used to refer to him as Blondy. Now, all he ever calls me has something to do with my hair color.

``Coming! And tell Kuro-muy to stop hitting Mokona!`` I call as I run towards the others, who have already gathered in front of Chunyiang and the villagers. I can hear Mokona's yelps and Kurogane is shaking his foot like he's experimenting with the 'crazy leg' move. So, do the math.

``Where were you?`` the ninja growls as I appear. I wave away his question with my hand.

``None of your business,`` I answer. Syaoran and Sakura have just finished saying farewell to Chunyiang. It seems like something happened between them at the palace, but I didn't ask what, just like nobody asked the details of our high-flying battle. Whatever happened there is their business. I also have a feeling I should keep the things shared during the battle to myself. I don't think Fai or Kurogane would like me to spill what they said in a moment of panic. I walk towards Chunyiang.

``You're going to get somewhere in life, kid. And you're going to get there fast.`` I say, ruffling her hair. She pushes my hand away with a giggle.

``Stop it!`` I smile.

``Don't be afraid of life, little fighter.`` I add. She smiles at me without another word. We don't need words. A strange sound makes me turn around. Mokona has grown wings, and is flying a few feet above us.

``What the…?`` I mutter. I had no idea how to change worlds, and I hadn't bothered to ask. I just thought the whirlwind appeared out of thin air. Chunyiang sounds as confused as I am, pointing at Mokona and squealing.

``Where are you going?`` she asks. The wind picks up and I recognize the feeling I got in Hanshin.

``Where are you going?`` Chunyiang repeats. Syaoran answers.

``There are still things that we must do.`` he says. Before Chunyiang's astonished eyes, the whirlwind surrounds us in a thick cloud. The outside world slowly fades away.

``Take care,`` Sakura adds to Syaoran's farewell. I wave, but I'm not sure if Chunyiang can still see me. The wind sweeps me off my feet, and the world goes black. But this time I don't resist. Because It's bringing me one step closer to home…

``What is this place?`` Kurogane's gruff voice asks through the mist.

``It's a lake,`` I answer, detaching every syllable carefully so he gets it. ``Surrounded by a forest,`` I show him the trees around us, ``and covered with mist,`` I mimic something floating above the ground.

``I know what it is, you idiot!`` he growls.

``Then why did you ask?`` I shrug.

``Wow! What a great lake!`` Fai exclaims. I suspect him to do these things by purpose.

``There's no sign of people around,`` Syaoran notices. It's not that weird, actually. I mean, think of all the deserted areas in the world where Hanshin is! We could have just landed in one of those.

``Any sign of Sakura's feather?`` Fai asks Mokona. I'm not sure how, but he seems to be able to detect a feather's power anywhere. That's his other utility, other than being able to switch dimensions.

``I sense a strong power,`` Mokona says, but by his tone I know he's not sure if it is the feather.

``Where does it come from?`` Syaoran asks quickly. If it's a feather, he wants to get as soon as possible.

``In there,`` Mokona points to the surface of the lake. I stare at it, a little scared. I never liked water, and if we have to go in there… well, good luck without me.

``You don't seriously expect us to dive in there, do you?`` Kurogane voices my thoughts.

``Wait!`` the scream makes us turn around. Sakura is running towards us.

``Please,`` she pants, ``let… me….go….`` As soon as she finishes talking, she collapses in Kurogane's arms. Sleeping again.

``She was trying so hard to stay awake at Chunyiang's place,`` Fai says tenderly, brushing away Sakura's bangs from her face. Kurogane picks her up and carries her under a nearby tree. There he sets her gently on the ground. I have the feeling the whole group's reason to stay together is Sakura. She does have this attaching part to her personality.

``Um… since we're deciding who's going in the lake, and Sakura's already off the list, I gotta warn you that I can't swim.`` I say, lifting my hand.

``Neither can I,`` Fai echoes joyfully. Kurogane mutters something about hating water. We all end up staring at Syaoran.

``I'll go,`` he says in a determined voice. I didn't really expect him to back away just because he would be going alone. He probably would have stormed the Ryanban's palace alone if he had no other choice. Anything for his princess. I smile. The way I describe it, it sounds like one of those picture-perfect fairytales they tell little kids to get them to sleep.

``Well then,`` Fai says, ``let's set up camp here and go exploring!``

``Exploring for what?`` I ask, cocking my head to the side. ``Were right besides the lake already.``

``Don't underestimate what locals can do to help you,`` Kurogane replies.

``We could get food, maybe some shelter, not to mention liquor!`` Fai adds.

``Stop it with your alcohol!`` I yell, exasperated. Right now, all his talk about alcohol makes me think of my mom. And Mom makes me think of home, and I _really_ don't want to think about home right now. If I start thinking about them all, I swear I'm going to cry. And if I cry, Kurogane's going to scream, and Syaoran's going to feel uneasy, and Fai's going to joke about it, like he jokes about everything. All this to say, I don't like Fai's obsession with booze. Everyone's staring at me now. I'm really going to have to control my explosions. At least everybody expects it from Kurogane. I feel myself blush, so I let myself fall to the ground and hide my face under my bangs.

``Okay… no liquor, then.`` Fai concludes. He takes off one of his coats and lays it upon Sakura. ``And the valiant adventurers are off!`` he exclaims, pointing a finger in front of him and dragging Kurogane in some random direction. The ninja protests violently.

``Are you sure you'll be able to find your way back?`` Syaoran asks through the chaos. Nobody answers him as the wizard and the ninja make their way through the mist, screaming and running. Sometimes they make me think of little boys. Always teasing each other – okay, well Fai always teasing Kurogane – and fooling around. If this was a fairytale, Kurogane would be the silent and watchful bodyguard, and Fai would be the annoying but sometimes helpful elf. What would I be, I wonder? I probably wouldn't even be there. I'd be one of those silent characters, like the maid, or the princess's – how do you call them? Those girls who follow her around like little puppy dogs. Anyway. My point is, I don't think I belong here. As I watch Syaoran look tenderly at the sleeping princess, that feeling intensifies. I groan. What was I thinking when I decided to go with them? What did I think would happen? That we'd become friends? That they'd accept me? Heh. They're just dragging me around because they have no other choice. Unconsciously, my hand makes its way to my back pocket. There, I feel the familiar lump of my wallet. I know what's in there. I know those pictures by heart, backwards and sideways. A lump forms itself in my throat. Do I dare look at them now? Now that I'll probably never see them again… A horrifying thought makes its way in my head. What if Yuuko made them disappear for me too? What if all I see on those pictures are backgrounds? Will I be stuck in this forever, traveling the worlds with no proof of my past life, starting to think maybe I made it up? That maybe those memories are all fake, created by a twisted mind? I laugh sarcastically. Of course. I know I'm getting melodramatic, but I can't help but thinking these things.

``Aisha-san? Are you alright?`` Syaoran's voice snaps me from my daydream. I realize I've been laughing out loud.

``'-chan'.`` I answer. ``I told you to call me '-chan' at least.`` Without looking at him, I get up. ``I'm getting wood for the fire.`` I mutter as I enter the surrounding forest. I didn't think when I said I'd get wood for a fire. Truth is, I know nothing about camping and wood fires and stuff like that. So I'm not sure if there's a special kind of wood, or if you just pick up random branches. In a thoughtless gesture, I tear a branch and look at the 'wound'. It's green. Without quite getting why I'm doing this, I throw it away and look at another one. I quickly stop tearing branches and settle for the twigs already lying on the ground. My hands and eyes work together without my conscious participation. It's almost like I've already done this before. Yet I know I've never been camping. Oh well. There's so many things I don't understand these days, why bother about one more? Besides, if it's going to give us a campfire, it can't be that bad. I pick up my pill of twigs and head for the little clearing we've mad into our camp. There I place the twigs on the ground and make a pyramid with them like I saw in movies. When the time comes to light it up though, I can't seem to figure out how. I turn to ask Syaoran, but all I find is his shirt lying beside the lake. I smile tenderly. Already in the water looking for the feather, huh? Well, I better make him a nice fire to warm himself up when he comes out. I start rubbing two sticks together to try to make a spark.

Unsuccessfully.

I try with rocks, with no luck. I try to rub the sticks in every possible way, still no results. I'm getting very frustrated when Syaoran comes out of the water. He looks at me for a few seconds, and I suddenly become self-conscious. I must look so stupid trying to start a fire when it's so obvious I have no idea how! But he doesn't say anything as he pulls himself onto the ground. He doesn't bother to put his shirt back on and I see his slightly tanned skin glisten as he walks towards me. I quickly avert my eyes, but too late. I don't think he missed the fact that my eyes widened when I saw his abs. Hey, I'm a girl, aren't I? I'm allowed to fantasize. Though if I react this strongly to Syaoran, imagine when – and if, of course – I see Kurogane topless. Geh. His abs must be huge! Stop fantasizing and get back to reality! For emphasis, I bump myself on the head. I'm not usually this shallow. I mean, I saw Kento and Shinju topless all the time, and didn't react at all. This dimension journey thing is really getting to me.

``Do you need help?`` Syaoran asks, startling me.

``No, I mean… uh… well yes, but…`` I stammer. ``I'll… I'll figure it out,`` I regain control of my tongue. ``You really don't have to…`` Ignoring my last comment, he bends down and picks up two sticks.

``This is how you do it,`` he says before rubbing them the same way I did five minutes ago. Two minutes later, a large bonfire is rumbling in the center of the clearing.

``That is so unfair!`` I exclaim. ``How did you do that? I tried every possible way I could think of, and then you come and pouf! Fire!`` I'm seriously breathless. He must have a gift of some sort. But instead of laughing devilishly and saying something along the line of: 'Muhahaha! The secret of fire is _mine_!' like I probably would have done, he just smiles in my direction.

``I'm assuming you didn't stick with one method more than a few minutes, right?`` he asks. I scratch the back of my neck in disbelief. How did he know?

``Well yeah, but it got so annoying after a while,`` I explain myself.

``That's not the way it works. You need patience,`` he explains. We sit next to the fire without speaking for a few minutes. I'm about to break the uncomfortable silence when Syaoran gets up. Without a word, he goes back towards the lake. I don't bother asking where he's going because I know. He's wasted too much time already. He will never stop until he finds the feather.

``Hey, wait a sec,`` I stop him as he's about to dive in the lake. He turns to look at me. He tries not to show it, but he's annoyed that I stopped him. I point a warning finger at him.

``Next time you come out, you are taking a break. And I mean a _real_ break,`` I add as he opens his mouth to protest. I sigh, ``You know, I'm really starting to regret not knowing how to swim. That way, we could take shifts and you wouldn't have to exhaust yourself down there.``

``But I want to do this,`` he protests.

``I don't care. It's still not a reason to almost drown yourself.`` I reply. He sighs.

``Can I go now?`` he asks impatiently.

``Yes. But you are taking a break even if I have to strap you to the tree!`` I warn him. I'm not sure he heard my threat because he's already underwater. With a sigh I let myself fall next to the lake. There's something fascinating about this humongous water plan, the water swirling and twirling in intricate patterns. Even someone who couldn't feel the magic pulsing under it like a beating heart would find it intriguing. Hypnotized, I let my fingers gently skim the water. This power feels nothing like the witch's in Koryo did. Instead of an empowering bolt of energy, this power slowly penetrates me in waves. Huh. Waves, as in water. Makes sense. I close my eyes and let the energy fully penetrate me. It's soothing, like someone is applying a balm on all my sore spots, both physical and emotional. That's the magic of water, I guess. Water heals, water protects. I can't feel my body anymore, but I don't care. I would like to be a part of this lake forever. Float, with not a care in the world… Why didn't I like water again? Oh yes, that time when I was eight… My mother had brought me to a public indoor pool. I was so excited; I had the little bathing suit and the matching towel and everything. But I wasn't even in the pool for ten minutes when it happened; suddenly, it was like the ground had disappeared. I was thrashing, clawing, trying to breathe and scream at the same time. I can't remember what happened next, but I woke up in the hospital with a breathing mask strapped on my face. Never went in a pool since then. I was wrong to do so, wasn't I? I giggle. Besides, I'm not really in a pool; lakes don't count. Breathe in, breathe out… flow. Like water. Float around. Don't think. Be a part of the water. Forget everything. Forget your body. Be water. Flow…

Who am I again? I don't know. My name? I think I have one. What is it? Kento? Etsuko? These are all names, but none of them ring true. Suddenly, a sharp pain in my lungs brings me back to reality. Or does it? The world is liquid around me. I can't difference up from down. I can't breathe. I realize where I am. Water! I'm in water! My legs search for solid ground but find none. In a surge of panic, I kick frantically around me. I feel myself go up.

Surface.

Breathe.

I look around as I try to stay on the surface. I'm not in a forest anymore. I'm back to that day, so many years ago, where I swore I would never go in the water again. The fear is back also. I try to swim, but don't seem to be able to. I go down again.

Fear.

Pain.

The burning in my lungs is back. The same feeling I get when I run too much, only worst. I kick again, but this time I don't go up. The weight of the water is pushing down on me. How did I get here? It was the lake, I know. It was the water. I'm about to drown. I'm going to die. The thought repulses me. I don't want to die. I _can't _die. Not if I'm going home. Cause I'm going back. I'm _not_ dying. _Relax, _a voice says in my head. _You can get yourself out of this. _Who…? I force myself to listen to the voice. One by one, I make my muscles unwind. _Trust yourself. You're getting there. _My arms and legs start moving together, pulling me upwards. I find the task surprisingly easy. In a few seconds I am out again, breathing normally. _That's it. You did it, Sha. _

A few seconds more and I'm lying on the ground, shaking. That experience definitely scared me even more of water. My wet clothes and hair are clinging to my skin. My ragged breathing echoes in my ears. The humid mist all around me reminds me only too much of water. But still, I wonder what that voice was. I'm positive it wasn't me talking to myself in my head. I do have one clue, though. Only one person in the world has ever called me Sha.

``Kento?`` 


	9. The lake's mysteries

Disclaimer: I do not own TRC or CLAMP.

Sorry for the (somewhat) long absence. A lot of things going on these days ^_^

Oh, and I have a question. What is it with people that alert my story and then favorite it? I just don't get it. If someone could share their insight on the subject…

Enjoy!

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I carefully stayed clear of the lake after that. The rest of the wait for Syaoran was spent sitting next to the fire. The princess is still sleeping. I'm not sure what to do to get myself busy. Because I really don't like where my thoughts are going.

The witch had said my soul was on the verge of light and darkness. Fai said I gave off a vibe he had never sensed before.Syaoran had called me impatient. Kurogane said I was just a kid. I don't know how these things fit together, or if they even do, but they disturb me. What could she mean by 'on the verge of light and darkness'? I know she means good and evil, but still. What could she mean by 'on the verge' of it? Like, I'm good now, but I could turn evil any second? I decide to forget about this for now, and push it in the back of my head until I can figure it out. Fai said my power was unlike anything he had ever sensed. It could be nothing. I mean, he couldn't have sensed every kind of power that exists in every dimension. Still, I have a strange feeling he knows something about me that I don't know, and that he's hiding it. I'll have to talk to him about that later. Well, that and other stuff. Because what happened at the lake really scares me. Can something really control you like that? Make you go in a lake when you're terrified of water? And what really scares me is that, before I woke up because I couldn't breathe, _I didn't care._ It made me _want_ to go in it. Is magic always this dangerous? Cause if it is, I don't want mine. Which brings me to another point. Why did this magic seem to appear all of a sudden? And why can't I seem to control it? It scares me. It really does. Before now, I hadn't thought of magic as something that could get you in trouble. All my past experiences of magic actually got me _out _of trouble. Kudans _are_ magic, right? And that voice – that was creepy. How could it really be Kento talking to me? I can't even remember what the voice sounded like – if it was male or female, high pitch or low, nosy, shrill, or anything. But it called me Sha. Kento was the only one to ever call me that. It doesn't make sense. And how I randomly knew how to swim when I never did before. So many things I can't understand. Why am I so messed up?

Too many questions are fighting each other in my head for my attention. I bury my head in my hands. Geh. Why do I have to think?

I'm finally distracted from all my questions by a low grumble. In front of me, Sakura was finally waking up. When she opened her eyes, I could see that she was searching for something. Syaoran? Probably. She found me instead. As she did, I saw her features slightly fall.

``Sorry to disappoint,`` I say as I get up. She seems panicked at the idea of having hurt my feelings.

``N…no! I'm not… I was just…`` she assures me, her cheeks flushed. I can only smile at her.

``You were just looking for Syaoran. I get it. Hey, don't worry! You didn't hurt my feelings,`` It's my turn to reassure her. She looks at me suspiciously, like she thinks I'm lying about her not hurting me. I'm not. I get how she thinks. It's hard to let go of someone you're really close to, and you tend to want to see him all the time. Especially if you have the choice between seeing him and a stranger like me. No matter.

``Are you feeling better?`` I ask, a little concerned. It just doesn't seem to make sense that someone would just fall asleep like that.

``I'm fine,`` she answers softly. ``Where's Syaoran-kun?`` she asks hurriedly after. I'm about to show her the lake when I see him. He's getting out of the lake a few feet away from the spot I'm standing in. It's a little hard to see anything in all this fog, but I watch as he pulls on his shirt and takes a look in our direction. When he sees Sakura, he smiles broadly.

``Are you awake?`` he asks joyfully. No, she's sleeping. Don't you see it in the way her eyes are open and staring intently at you?

``Just now, Fai-san, Kurogane-san and Mokona were looking around…`` he says as he walks towards Sakura. Silently, she grabs his hand and squeezes it in hers.

``You're cold.`` she states. I can see the disapproval in her eyes. ``Have you been diving in there all this time?`` she asks in a worried tone.

``Aren't I taking a break now?`` he answers in a matter-of-fact voice.

``You better be,`` I chip in, ``Or else I swear I _will_ strap you to a tree.`` I think I see a smile light his face when I mention restraining him, but he quickly goes back to Sakura.

``It's my memory,`` she's protesting.`` I should be the one looking for it.``

``But at night, the water temperatures will fall,`` he replies. I see worry in his eyes. Unconsciously, I look around to see if nighttime is coming. Hard to say with all that damn mist. For some reason, the mention of night makes me sleepy. I barely slept last night because I kept tossing and turning on my left arm – you know, the one covered in burns? Well, every time I put weight on it, it woke me up. Conclusion? Barely slept. And I didn't sleep much the night before we invaded the palace either, so now I'm sleepy.

``But you only go a few of your feathers of memory back. You still haven't fully recovered yet.`` Syaoran is augmenting to Sakura. ``If you dive into the lake and fall asleep…`` Sakura's head bows down in discouragement. She knows as well as we all do what would happen then.

``Well, at least warm up and rest a bit,`` she finally says. ``Okay?`` she presses.

``Okay,`` he answers. Anything for his princess. He helps her get up and they both sit next to the fire. I stand there and watch them for a second, resisting the urge to lie down on the bare floor and sleep. Besides, sleeping will keep me from thinking too much. Also, I can tell my presence makes Syaoran uneasy. He'd like to be alone with his princess. Very well then.

``Okay, you guys enjoy your conversation, I'll go sleep,`` I say, leaning back on the nearest tree. Sakura looks a little worried.

``Are you feeling all right? It's not evening yet…``

``I'm fine. I'm just tired, and unlike _some_ people,`` I look intently at Syaoran, who pretends not to know what I'm talking about, ``I actually rest when I need to.`` I yawn noisily to prove my point.

``Well, good sleep then.`` Sakura says shyly. I nod in response, closing my eyes. Faster than I thought, I get sucked in the land of dreams.

_I'm standing in a meadow. As far as the eye can see there is only silver grass, waving gently in the soft wind. Lifting my head to look at the night sky, I admire the stars. They shine so much brighter here than in Hanshin. I stretch my arm to touch them. I'm not surprised when they come to me, twirling around my outstretched arm down to my feet and lifting me off the ground. I laugh. Outstretching my arms like wings, I welcome the wind in my face as I get higher and higher. I don't know how long I stay there in infinite bliss, but it seems like an eternity. I play with the stars, dance with the moon and swim in the sky. All is well. _

_The cloud I am standing on suddenly gives out under me. I fall. There is no wind anymore. I fall. I can't seem to breathe. I fall. I am not afraid. I fell. I am now lying in a forest, staring up at the sky I left behind. I feel no pain. I know I should. The thought makes me laugh. There is no pain here. I am well here. Why move? _

_And yet I do. Because I feel like there is something I must see, and it is not in the sky. I push away branches that try to stop me. I know I need to see it, yet I don't know what it is. I start running. The urge to see it becomes stronger, as does my apprehension. What will I see? I don't know. Maybe I don't want to know. I think of turning back, but my feet won't listen to me. They keep drawing me forward in a steady beat. Thud, thud, thud. Then they stop. Without warning, I arrive in front of a pond. Its silvery surface reflects the moon up above. It's like a miniature piece of sky, lying there on the ground. I kneel in front of it. Without really knowing what I'm looking for, I scan its surface. All I see is my own reflection. A seventeen years-old girl with pink hair, cropped at the jaw line. I take in my own gray eyes, my thin lips, my nose piercing. The thin scar on the side of my neck that I kept in memory of a bike accident. I still don't know what I'm searching for in this pond. Suddenly, my reflection is replaced by another one. It's still me, but a few years back. My hair is longer, tied back in a ponytail, and I don't have a piercing yet. But what draws my eye is the big bruise that colors my right cheek. With a gasp, I bring my hand to my cheek, but it's normal. The girl in the reflection didn't move as I did. She's just staring at me with an inexpressive face. With a shaking hand, I reach out for her. I know where that bruise came from. Not from a fight against a rival gang member, like I told everybody. From my mom. One of the nights she was really bad. She hit me with the phone. Even she didn't remember the day after. I made her believe that it really was from a gang fight, and she made me promise to be more careful. And that was it. _

_But now the reflection is changing again. My hair gets darker, curls and grows. My eyes turn brown. My features shift until it's not me staring back anymore. It's Hinata. _

_An older version of my little sister is now staring blankly at me. But there is one thing on her face that didn't change. The bruise. The bruise is still there, purple as ever, exactly at the same spot. But it's not on my face anymore. It's not mine anymore. I don't wonder how she got it. I already know. And that knowledge makes me want to cry. How could I do this to her? The pond blurs for a second, and I think it's over. But the pond is not done with me, as I soon learn. Instead, the image of Hinata is simply replaced by another one. This one is of a dark room, with only one window. A girl is sitting on the beat-up sofa next to the old TV, but the television is off. She's sleeping. No, she's waiting. I know who should be sitting on that sofa, but the silhouette is off. She's too small and brittle to be me. I pay a new attention to scene as it moves. A woman is now entering the room, staggering blindly towards the couch. She mumbles something I can't understand. The girl gets up, and I understand why my silhouette seemed so different. It was because I was not the one sitting in the sofa. The dark curly hair leaves no doubt. It's Hinata now walking towards our mother, talking to her in a gentle but firm tone. I can't hear what is being said, but I know exactly what's going to happen. They're both going to get mad, my mom will grab the phone on the table…. Oh, God, please don't make me look at this. But the image does not fade, and I can't look away. Unable to react, I watch silently as the conversation heats up. My mother is now screaming things I can't understand, Hinata is yelling back. She's making the same mistake I did back then, arguing when she should have gotten out of the way. Then, something strikes me by its absence. Where's Hisho? The twins are never apart. They even have all the same friends and share all the same classes in school. But Hisho isn't in the picture. Where…? But the ongoing argument doesn't take very long to give me my answer. Among the previously shushed words, seven of them seem to come out and slap me in the face. _Just because Hisho is in the hospital_, Hinata says. I can hear the blame in her voice; I see her shake in anger. I know my mom is responsible. I don't know how it happened, but for a second I burn with Hinata. I want to slap that drunken woman with all my strength. Then the woman's searching hand meets a hard object on the small table besides her. A phone. Screaming unintelligible words, she grabs it, lunges for the girl._

_Strikes._

Hopelessly, I watch my sister fall on the ground in the exact same spot I did years earlier. See the woman grin in victory as the girl tries to get back up. See her strike again, on the back this time. See the girl fall again, her faint cry echoing through the room. Hear a louder scream, a haunted cry that fills the space. Wonder who is screaming. Wonder if I can help. Look back to the two silhouettes. Cry.

_Realize I'm the one screaming. _

``Aisha-san! Aisha-san, wake up!`` the voice pulls me out of sleep. My eyes open and I jerk myself upwards, still screaming. I try to move my legs, but I can't. That fact makes me panic even more, and I slap away the hand on my shoulder.

``Aisha-san!`` this time the voice is disapproving. I force my breathing to calm down and my eyes to take in what's around me. Sakura is sitting next to me, her wide eyes staring and frightened. In front is Syaoran, looking disapprovingly at me. I notice it was Sakura's hand I slapped away without thinking.

``Sorry,`` I pant, looking at her. She doesn't seem to care about that.

``Are you okay, Aisha-san?`` she asks in a soft voice. ``You've screamed an awful lot before we could wake you up.`` I close my eyes and force the shaking of my hands to stop. I can still see the image of that room. I can still see Hinata with that big bruise on her cheek… Hinata, falling to the floor… Hisho in a hospital bed… They didn't say why, but my head makes up the worst injuries. Maybe he's hanging between life and death. Maybe Mom had a knife on him. She would do that. She did to me before, but I ran out of the house with the twins before anything happened. Oh my God. What have I done to them, forcing them to live with that? What if what I saw was true? No, it can't be. It was just a dream. Besides, Hinata was much older in there than she is now. But what did Fai say in Koryo again? 'Maybe time passes differently too.' Maybe… could it already be like that back home? I was only gone two… no, three days! Could four years have actually passed in Hanshin since then? Oh God. Oh God, please no. I bury my face in my hands. I notice my cheeks are weat with tears. Who cares at this point? By the time I get back, how much time will have passed? Will the twins be adult?

``Aisha-san?`` Sakura's worried voice interrupts my train of thought. I realize I'm shaking again. Taking a deep breath, I calm my muscles one by one, like I did in the lake.

``I'm fine,`` I croak. ``It was just a nightmare, that's it.`` I'm trying to convince myself as much as anyone, and I think she sensed that. She gently places her hand on mine.

``It's okay,`` she says soothingly. ``Everything's fine.`` I try to believe her, but deep inside me, I know some things will never be the same. I know my life right now isn't 'okay'. I softly brush away Sakura's hand.

``I'm fine,`` I assure her, before attempting to get up. With a yelp, I trip and fall on my stomach. Sakura flies by my side again.

``Are you alright? You didn't hurt yourself?`` she asks hurriedly. Surprised, I take a look at my legs, which I can barely move. With reason, I realize. They're all entangled in Fai's coat. So that's why I couldn't move my legs when I woke up! It must've happened when I was struggling in my sleep. But I don't remember using it as a blanket…

``I'm so sorry!`` Sakura exclaims. ``I thought you might be getting cold, so I put it on. I never thought you'd have a nightmare! Oh, I'm sorry!`` I look a her for a few seconds. An irrepressible urge mounts in my head. I try to stop it, but fail miserably.

I laugh.

I laugh my heart out, freely, loudly, until I can't breathe. Both Sakura and Syaoran stare, confused, but I don't care. Laughing feels good. Especially since I'm going back to grim thoughts in about three seconds.

``Um… Aisha-san?`` This time it's Syaoran who speaks. I brush away a freshly fallen tear.

``I'm sorry…`` I say, still laughing. ``I needed that.`` He's about to say something, but just then I feel the magic energy rise at an alarming rate. Untangling my legs from the coat, I go to get up but…

``Oh my gosh!`` Sakura exclaims. The lake has suddenly illuminated in a bright golden light. It only lasted a second, but it was enough to startle us. Without a second thought, Syaoran rushes for the lake.

``Hide!`` he yells back to the two of us.

``Syaoran-kun!`` Sakura protests, running after him. I dash to stop her, because there is no way I can save her if she goes to drown. But it turns out I don't need to do anything, because just as Syaoran dives in the lake, Sakura falls to the ground. I kneel beside her and quickly support her as she crumbles.

``Syaoran-kun?`` I hear her whisper. Then, ``That child… who is he?`` I hush her.

``Shhh. It's alright. He's coming back.`` I reassure her, thought she fell asleep again. I'm also trying to convince myself, because that sudden energy rise scared me. Especially since it came from the lake, which I am now scared to death of. We stay like this for a few seconds, until I hear thrashing and panting from the forest, somewhere on our left. I get up in a protective stance and place my hand on my whip, ready to unlatch it at a second's notice. Out comes Fai, breathless. I relax. Kurogane follows shortly after, Mokona perched on his head. Fai quickly dashes for us.

``Is everything alright? We heard screaming, and then that light…`` he nearly screams. I hold up my hands to reassure him.

``The screaming was me. I had a nightmare,`` I admit sheepishly. ``As for the light, well…`` I trail off and look at the lake. The sight of the apparently still water makes me shudder. ``Syaoran's down there to check it out.`` I conclude.

``And Sakura?`` Kurogane asks. Fai bends down to wrap her in his coat again.

``She fell asleep after Syaoran went in,`` I explain, kneeling next to Fai. I look at the sleeping princess for a while. She looks so innocent like that, almost like a child. I softly brush away her bangs.

``Pink-top, are you… wet?`` Fai asks hesitantly. It takes me a while to realize he's talking to me. The down side to all those nicknames is that the one getting called by them never knows when Fai made another up. Now I know how Kurogane feels.

``Yeah,`` I answer slowly. ``It's kind of a long story.`` I know I wanted to ask him about the lake, but now just doesn't seem like the right time, with Kurogane and Mokona listening in. Fai knows about magic, so he might understand, but I'll just sound psycho to Kurogane.

``Why did you scream?`` Kurogane asks grumpily. ``Didn't your parents ever tell you not to yell for no reason?`` I glare at him.

``I told you, I had a nightmare,`` I say harshly. ``Most people can't control those things.``

``Why the hell were you sleeping?`` he grunts.

``Cause I was tired, cause I barely slept two nights in a row, because my life is pretty much over at this point!`` I growl. His big hand clasps on my shoulder.

``Your life ain't over until you're dead, kid.`` he says.

``A wise man once said,`` I add grumpily. Fai laughs.

``Heard that, Kuro-pin? You're a wise man now!`` he says joyfully. Kurogane grunts something intelligible and smacks the wizard on the back off the head. I sigh.

``You guys are weird.`` I say. ``I think you're pretty much hopeless.`` Kurogane is about to say something very verbal when we hear a splash. All heads turn towards the lake as Syaoran comes out, a grin on his face. I'm guessing whatever was down there wasn't so bad. Mokona rushes towards him and yelps in a panicked voice:

``Syaoran! Sakura is… she's…`` Fear etches itself on Syaoran's face. Quickly, he dashes towards us, all his body in panic mode. ``Fast asleep!`` Mokona finishes his sentence. Relieved and shocked, Syaoran trips a few steps away from us.

``Were you scared to death?`` Mokona asks joyfully as both me and Kurogane sigh in frustration. What is wrong with that little fur-ball? ``This is one of Mokona's special abilities. Super acting skills!`` Syaoran is dazing off, confused.

``You really were taken by surprise!`` Fai notices with a smile. ``But I think this will happen a lot.`` Syaoran comes back, interested in the conversation. ``Sakura-chan might fall into a slumber again, and we might be caught into a battle again. But we'll keep searching for her memories, won't we?`` He gives Syaoran a tender look. ``If so, then you should rest a bit.`` Fai looks away in the distance. ``Don't think about those unhappy things all the time. Otherwise, you will not be able to forget, even if you want to.`` Fai's gaze at that moment puzzles me. It seems those two last sentences awakened a hidden feeling in his eyes. Mostly melancholy, but also sadness, regret and pain. Like he's speaking from experience. Like he did think about unhappy things all this time and is now unable to forget them. I don't think I was the only one to notice, because again Kurogane is also looking at the wizard with suspicious eyes.

``You can smile,`` Fai continues, oblivious to the effect he just had on both of us. ``You can be happy. No one will blame you for that, Syaoran-kun. And someone will be happy for you.`` He looks tenderly at the princess. Syaoran seems shaken by what Fai just said also, but I'm guessing it's for a different reason. He dazes off for a few seconds, then his eyes rest on the princess and he smiles.

``Yay! Syaoran is smiling! Mokona is very happy!`` Mokona exclaims as he climbs on Syaoran.

``Of course, me too!`` Fai joins in, pointing at himself. ``And Kuro-pin and Strawberry-hair too!``

``I had nothing to do with it,`` Kurogane grunts angrily while I mutter a few words that wouldn't be considered proper for younger ears like Syaoran's. I'm getting tired of his constant nicknames! Even having Kurogane being called by anything but his name is getting annoying.

``Hn?`` the low whimper makes all head turn to Sakura, who is now rubbing her eyes and sitting.

``You awake?`` Fai asks. Why does everybody keep asking this question when it's obvious she is? Sakura's eyes suddenly open wide and she gasps.

``Syaoran-kun!`` she screams, bolting upwards. ``Syaoran-kun is in the lake!`` She dashes towards the water. Syaoran runs after her, visibly scared to death.

``I'm…right…here!`` he exclaims, trying to pull her back. Surprised, she looks at him.

``I'm glad,`` she then says, smiling. Her smile _is_ special, radiating warmth to everyone around. She takes Syaoran's hand and says a few words I can't understand. I can guess what they're about though, because Syaoran turns red as a strawberry. They then let go of each other and walk back towards us. Though Sakura is awake, she doesn't seem to be completely there. I've had that impression since the first time I met her, but guessed it was because of her missing memories. Now I have the feeling that something more is influencing it. And that this something has the shape of a boy with brown eyes and hair, who would do anything for here. I give her a knowing smile and she blushes. I know they're both trying to be subtle, but seriously. You could guess their relationship a mile away.

``Um, Sakura-chan…`` Fai starts, ``We don't know what this journey will be like. I know you're worried because you don't have your full memories. Just try to enjoy this journey, okay?`` he says with a smile. ``I know it's not easy for us to be together like this.`` You got that right.

``Yes,`` Sakura agrees. See? Not the only one to say so.

``There might be many things I don't understand,`` she explains, bowing politely, ``And I might get in your way. But I will work hard and do all that I can.``

``And that's all we're asking for,`` I say, forcing her up. I don't like it when people bow to me like I'm important. It makes me feel all weird.

``Now that I think about it, how's the lake?`` Fai asks.

``There's a city under the lake!`` Syaoran exclaims. I stand there, surprised. How could anything live down there? The thought alone of swimming in it makes me shiver from head to toe. I force myself to look away from the hypnotizing water. My eye catches something shinny on the ground. I leave the group and approach it. It looks like a huge golden plate, or something similar. A power is coming from it, and I actually recognize the power from the lake. But for some reason, out here on the ground, I don't feel threatened by it. I even go as far as try to pick it up, but it's weight surprises me and I drop it.

``Ooh, pretty!`` I exclaim. ``Is it from that city?``

``No,`` Syaoran explains how the tiny city underwater considers this humongous fish as their sun. The thing I found was one of its scales. I take a double look at the scale.

``That was one big fish!`` I blurt out. Heck, if I lay down on it in a fetal position, I could fit on it! So it turns out Sakura's feather isn't in the lake after all. The power Mokona felt was from the city.

``Well, that's pointless,`` Kurogane yawns and walks away. I follow him and start gathering our stuff. I guess we'll leave soon, since there's nothing left to do here. Just as I'm about to put out the fire, Fai joins me.

``Are you sure you're okay?`` he asks, worried. I frown.

``Of course I am. I'm not the one with the missing memories.`` I remind him. He smiles for a second, but it quickly disappears.

``Are you sure? You looked pretty upset when we came back. Plus, it needs to be a pretty scary nightmare to get you screaming like that,`` he notices.

``I'm fine.`` I conclude, turning away. But he just turns around me so that he's facing me again.

``Promise?`` he asks. I sigh.

``Promise,`` I answer, though I'm not sure if I really am okay. But, what am I going to tell him? 'I hear voices and nearly got drowned because a lake made me.' Oh yeah, he's _totally_ not going to think I'm a maniac.

``Okay then, `` he says joyfully and starts to walk away. I swear, this guy's bipolar sometimes.

``Fai-san! Wait!`` It takes me a while to notice I'm the one calling out. Surprised, I cover my mouth. Why did I just do that?

``What is it?`` Fai turns around and looks curiously in my direction. What am I going to say? Stupid mouth of mine…

``Um… well…`` I struggle to find something to say that would justify me calling him like that. I don't even know why I did it. I don't even know why that smile haunts me so much. Or why I just noticed that the sky in my dream was exactly the same color as his eyes…

``I… you…`` and suddenly, I find something I can say. Something that I really mean. Something that, I just noticed, I've wanted to tell him ever since the fight in Koryo. I take a deep breath.

``You… you know, you can be happy too, Fai-san.`` I say, avoiding his gaze by looking at my feet. ``And you can enjoy this journey too. I'm sure no one will blame you for that.`` I hear a sucked breath. Looking up, I see that Fai isn't smiling anymore. And he doesn't – or can't - hide the widening of his eyes, or the shortness of his breath. I continue:

``And I'm sure someone will be happy for you,`` I quote, this time looking straight into his eyes. His expression changes. He is now smiling apologetically at me.

``That,`` he says slowly, ``is where I think you're wrong.`` Then he turns around and walks away, leaving me there.

``Well, I would,`` I whisper, so low I don't think he could have heard me. I just find it difficult to believe that there is no one, anywhere, that cares for him. And so sad that he thinks that way.

``Hey, kid! Finish off that fire and come already!`` Kurogane's gruff voice snaps me out of it. Shooting him an angry glance, I quickly put out the fire – which is much easier than lighting it – and rush towards them just as Mokona's wings come out. Then I stand there, waiting for the feeling to overpower me again. As it does, I shoot a last glance at the lake, but for some reason, it doesn't seem so menacing anymore. And I'm starting to think – maybe, just maybe – that it's goal wasn't to drown me. Because nevertheless, when I thought Kento was talking to me… I was happy.


	10. Snow Lots and lots of snow!

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TRC OR CLAMP. There, I said it.

I can't believe this is the 10th chapter! Double digits, whoooo!!!

I'm sorry about the somewhat long absence (again). I went to visit Mickey Mouse in Disney World!!! It was really fun. And you guys probably don't care, so go on with the story.

________________________________________________________________________

Okay, so the first thing I noticed when we arrived in this world was – white. I mean it, it was everywhere! It still is, however. The second thing I noticed was - cold. Seeping through my light clothes, it only took it about ten seconds to get me shivering from head to toe. As I wrapped my arms around myself to try to keep in body heat, I took a look around. A strange white fluffy substance is covering everything. Reaching to it I take a handful, only to yelp in surprise when I realize how cold it is. Fai laughs.

``You've never seen snow before?`` he asks playfully.

``This is snow?`` I ask back, looking at the white substance melting in my hand. I've never seen so many before. In Hanshin, we only had snow for a few weeks, and it almost never stayed on the ground. Even when it did, it never pilled up more than a centimeter.

``Isn't snow supposed to fall from the sky? Like rain?`` I ask again, not sure how to react at this new phenomenon.

``Yes, but after it falls, where do you think it goes?`` Fai answers, his grin widening.

``It melts,`` I answer. ``Well, it does in Hanshin, anyway.`` Fai laughs again.

``It only melts if it's warm enough,`` he explains. ``If it's cold, like here, it stays on the ground.`` I'm not the only one to be surprised by the amount of snow around here. Syaoran is staring at a snow bank like it could jump out and attack him any second. Sakura's hair is covered in white flecks, which landed on her when she accidentally fell in that same snow bank. And Mokona is sitting next to a snowball his size. Kurogane, on the other hand, doesn't seem bothered by it. Facing the opposite direction, he's looking around – to seek potential threats, or something like that. Seizing my opportunity, I grab Mokona's snowball. After a quick aim, I throw it in Kurogane's direction. It misses his head by an inch and hits the tree behind him. The ninja turns around in a flash.

``Who did that?!`` he screams, his face distorted in anger. I compose myself as innocent of a face as I can, given the circumstances. Fai laughs madly.

``Hyuu! You really are quite a shot, Raki seed!`` he says.

``Stop doing those whistling sounds!`` Kurogane yells, pointing a finger at him. ``And you!`` he continues, pointing his finger at me, ``You are going to pay for this!``

``I don't think so!`` I scream back, as I dash in the direction opposite from him. He runs after me, yelling unintelligible words. At first I keep him easily at a distance, but the snow is much softer than the ground and I trip often. Just as he's about to catch up to me, I pass right next to Fai. The blond man's foot innocently moves sideways a little when the ninja follows me and…

``You bastard! I'm getting both of you for this!`` Kurogane yells as he struggles to get up from the snow bank he tripped onto. His legs got entangled in his cloak, and now he's getting so worked up that he can't get up. I tease him by going as close as I can to him, just out of his arm reach.

``Ha ha, Kuro-rin can't catch me!`` I sing. I know I shouldn't provoke him, but I can't help it. It's too much fun. Suddenly, Kurogane hoists himself towards me and grabs my ankle. I try to free myself, but too late. He pulls on it, making me fall back into the snow. Fortunately, it's soft, but I muffle a scream as it starts to melt on my bare skin.

``Oh my gosh, are you alright?`` Sakura asks, rushing towards me.

``It's c-cold,`` I answer, my teeth clenched so that they don't shake. All my muscles are tensed up, making me unable to get up, no matter how much I want to. Kurogane is now towering above me.

``That'll show you,`` he concludes before walking away. Fai just stands beside me, laughing wildly.

``You c-could help m-me up, y-you know,`` I stutter. Still laughing, he offers me his hand, which I hurriedly grab. I hoist myself up and quickly wrap my arms around myself in a desperate attempt to get warm. I fail, however, and my shivering gets out of control.

``Let's follow Kurogane-san,`` Syaoran suggests. ``He seems like he found something.`` So we all head out in the direction the ninja did. Turns out he did find something, and it was an old trail. Now he's just standing there, waiting for us.

``Coming or what?`` he grunts, before following the trail and leaving us there.

``Maybe y-you could wait f-for us!`` I stammer. I try as best as I can to take off the half-melted snow, but it still clings to my body. That plus the cold weather makes it _very_ freezing. Remember I'm only wearing capris and a tank top here!

``Do you want my coat?`` Sakura offers, already taking off the coat Fai gave her.

``I'm f-fine,`` I answer, pushing it away. She puts it back on, not before shooting me a worried glance. Beside me, Fai sighs.

``Well, I guess that settles it,`` he says. I feel something warm on my shoulders and automatically pull it tighter. Looking at it, I realize it's Fai's other coat. I give him a weird look.

``Aren't you going to be cold?`` I ask him, though I know I would not give away the warmth of his coat for anything. He smiles.

``At least I have pants,`` he tells me,`` and long sleeves. And I didn't just fall in the snow. And I wasn't already _wet_.``

``But still,`` I say, ignoring the last comment. He wants to know, but he won't. Not now, anyways, ``It's your coat.`` He waves away my argument.

``Besides, my country is way colder than this,`` he continues like I said nothing. I overdramatically pout.

``Fai won't listen to me!`` I playfully whine. He gives me an amused glance.

``You know you're contradicting yourself by clinging to my coat like that,`` he notices.

``I don't care,`` I pout. ``You still won't listen to me. And what's a raki seed?`` I ask, remembering the nickname he gave me earlier.

``Food,`` Fai answers simply. I look skeptically at him. What does food have to do with the color of my hair? The mage smirks at me.

``It's red,`` he explains as my eyes get wider and I slap him on the arm.

``You meanie!`` I exclaim. ``My hair is pink, not red!`` I pout, turning my attention to our surroundings. I really have never seen this much snow before. The trees are different, too. They look almost black against the pale background. Even the sky seems white. The snow crunches under my feet at a regular pace. _Crunch, crunch, crunch_… I wonder if anyone lives around here. I guess there as to be, since we found a trail, but it doesn't look like it's been used in a while. Then again, I guess if it snowed on it… but it can't snow that often, can it? I wonder what the people around here are like. Maybe they dress a little like Fai, with fur-lined coats and many layers. I scan the trees to see Kurogane, but he's nowhere to be found. I guess he can't be far. He might be a pretentious jerk, but he doesn't seem like the kind of person to just leave us here. Yes, I _am_ pissed at him for pushing me in the snow. I threw him a snowball, but it doesn't justify trying to freeze me. Besides, I missed. A bird passes over us, crying loudly. I don't like that cry. It sounds like a dying animal. The bird perches itself on a tree nearby. I look at it for a few seconds. It looks unlike any bird I've seen before. Completely black, beak and all, it just stares back at me. It doesn't seem to have any ornamental feathers, or any bright colors like the birds back home. I point a puzzled finger at it.

``What…?`` I start.

``It's a crow,`` Kurogane's voice answers behind me. Startled, I turn around with a yelp.

``Where did you come from?`` I ask hurriedly to hide my shock. How the hell did he get there without anyone noticing? I guess he _is_ a ninja, but still…

``Kuro-pin sure is sneaky!`` Fai says with a fake whistle. Mokona jumps on my head.

``Sneak attack!`` he yells, throwing in a couple of kicks. I shake him off my head.

``How about staying on Syaoran's head?`` I suggest. I just don't like him pitter-pattering on my scalp. It freaks me out. Kurogane grunts exasperatedly.

``I found a town nearby,`` he says. ``There's an inn there.``

``Do they serve alcohol?`` Fai asks joyfully. I glare at him.

``Are you doing this by purpose?`` I ask, annoyed.

``Yup,`` he answers, an innocent smile splattered on his face. I muffle a scream of frustration and hurry forward. I swear, if I ever get my hands around his neck… It seems I didn't think my options thoroughly in Koryo. Maybe I should have stayed. I wouldn't have had a chance to go back home, but I wouldn't have to put up with this, at least.

``Um… Aisha-san…`` Syaoran's voice calls behind me.

``What!`` I yell back as I keep walking blindly. ``And how many times do I have to tell you-`` Bam. Lying on my back, I look up to the wall I just crashed in.

``Watch out,`` Syaoran completes his sentence as he catches up to me.

``Thank you,`` I say sarcastically. I watch as the others crowd around me. Sakura looks concerned as she takes a better look at me. What does she think, that I have some kind of disability that makes me crash in walls? Kurogane just stands there, the look in his eyes saying 'that'll teach you'. Fai is making no effort to hide his hilarity.

``You seem to be falling down a lot lately,`` he notices between two bursts of laughter.

``Hardy har har,`` I answer, glaring at him. I get up by myself this time, shaking the snow off of Fai's coat. ``And while you're at it, why don't you find out why there's a wall in the middle of a forest?``

``Because we aren't in the middle of a forest,`` Kurogane grunts. ``It's the town I was talking about.``

``Ah,`` I look around and notice several quaint brick houses, including the one I crashed in. ``So it is.``

``The inn's this way,`` the ninja says, leading us somewhere to our left. We follow him, Fai still laughing at my fall. Kurogane leads us to a larger house, the only thing differencing it from the others being the size and a rusty sign clapping in the wind. It reads 'The Prince's Table'. Sounds pretty pricey. I don't ask what we'll do to pay though; I have a feeling the others already have a plan. They've been doing this for longer than I have. Kurogane opens the door an urges us in. A wave of warmth hits my face and I sigh gratefully. Finally, something warm! I loosen Fai's coat around my shoulders, and only then do I notice I'm being observed. Actually, we're all being observed. The room is crowded, and it seems like everybody turned their heads towards us. Sakura shies from their gazes, but the others don't seem to care. Fai walks up to one of the waitresses.

``May we have a table?`` he asks her in a soft voice, flashing his brightest smile. She blushes and hurriedly shows us to a nearby table of four. The entire room's focus moves as we do. Sakura looks down at the four chairs, and at the five of us.

``How will we…?`` she begins.

``Oh, that's okay,`` I answer, pulling myself a chair. ``Fai can sit on the ground.`` The wizard looks at me with hurt eyes.

``Why are you doing this to me, Cotton Candy? You're being so mean…`` he whines overdramatically. I sigh.

``Maybe if you'd call me by my name, then this wouldn't happen.`` I say. He looks at me, his eyes widened in mock surprise.

``That's not your name?`` he asks in a stage whisper.

``Sit!`` I order exasperatedly. The mage pulls himself a chair from a nearby table and sits next to me. A dumb smile is illuminating his face.

``Am I detecting something like friendship in your tone?`` he asks. I blush violently.

``No!`` I dismiss the idea. ``We are _not_ friends and I am _still_ pissed at you!`` I hurriedly look away. The truth is, I've been acting with him the very same way I do with my friends when I do something stupid – like crashing into a wall - and they laugh. And he's been acting almost the same way they do in return.

``You're not mad at me, admit it!`` he sings.

``Oh, shut up,`` I grumble. I don't want to be friends with him. I don't want to get closer to any of them. It's hard enough trying to get home without getting emotionally attached. Besides, it's not like I'm going to stick around for a long time, right? I'm planning to get home as soon as possible.

``You heard that, Kuro-pin? She just told me to shut up!`` Fai says joyfully to the ninja. Kurogane just stares for a few seconds, scowls and looks away.

``So what?`` he answers. ``It's not like she hit you. Now _that_ I would like to see.`` he adds, his lips stretching in a murderous smile. I look back at Fai, whose hands are now up in sign of peace.

``Please don't hit me,`` he says. ``I don't enjoy pain.``

``Neither do I, yet we all go through it,`` I answer, turning my attention to the people around us. I don't think I have the strength to continue talking to Fai, Kurogane probably won't speak to me after the snowball incident, Syaoran is too busy studying the structure of the fireplace – or something like that – and Sakura looks so sleepy I'm surprised she's not already fallen asleep on the table. The clothing around here particularly interests me. All the women seem to be wearing dresses, and the men are wearing suits. Overall, something out of the…Victorian era, maybe? I realize with horror that if we have to stay here, I'll be wearing a dress like that with a corset and what looks like a hoop skirt. No way Jose! I can't tell how they manage to walk in those things, not to mention breathe. Obviously the guys won't mind, the male clothes don't look uncomfortable. I wonder if Sakura will – but if she's a princess, she's probably used to wearing this type of things. Am I the only one here who minds changing environments almost daily? Not even a day ago I was wearing some sort of kimono, now I'm sporting a heavy fur-lined coat, and soon I'll be forced to wear a corset! Damn inter-dimensional fashion… A man in particular catches my attention. Staring at me, detailing every inch of my body, he sits only a few feet away. I stare back, locking my eyes into his. Two can play this game. When he realizes I'm staring back, he quickly blushes and averts his eyes. Heh. I like it when I scare people by just looking at them. Kento used to say it was because my eyes are so dark. Said it made me look like a witch. Ironic, isn't it? Now that I know there's some sort of magical power living in my body, I could have told him he was right. The man looks again, only to blush when he realizes I'm still looking. With a smug look on my face, I turn back to the table where Fai has just ordered some food. Since he doesn't know what people eat here – he'd look a little crazy going to ask for 'raki seeds' or whatever he calls them – he asked for five orders of the house's specialty. I just hope we don't get stuck with something disgusting, like bugs or whatever.

``Do we even know if there _is_ a feather here?`` I ask to no one in particular. I'm a little hopeful that this is just a pit stop; I _really_ don't want to wear one of those dresses. Mokona, who is sitting as immobile as possible next to Fai – we can't know if there's magic around here or not – answers in a whisper.

``No, Mokona can't feel any strong power. But he can't be sure.`` I sigh. Great, another treasure hunt. Hopefully this one won't include acid droplets, murderous demons or enchanted lakes.

``We should start looking around as soon as possible,`` Kurogane says. I see Syaoran nod in approval. I'm about to ask Kuro a question as to where to start, but he sees me coming.

``I'm still mad at you for that snowball, so don't get any ideas,`` he adds a few seconds later. I pout.

``But I missed, so what's the big problem?`` I ask him, but he ignores me. Just at that moment, two waitresses come in to bring us our meal. I stare, puzzled, at the plate placed in front of me. I prod the large piece of meat sitting on it. How do they expect us to eat that if it's so big? There's also a plate full of buns in the middle of the table, and a strange puree beside the meat.

``So,`` Fai asks the waitress closest to him, ``what wine would you suggest to go with that?`` Without even looking at him, I whack the back of his head so hard it hits the table with a sickening crash before bouncing back into my open hand. I'm not worried though; that guy survived a hammer thrown at his head. I then look at the waitress, an over polite smile on my face.

``No alcohol whatsoever,`` I ask. ``Please.`` Wide-eyed, she nods slowly in approval, unable to detach her eyes from Fai, who is now rubbing his head. She then leaves quickly, her small steps echoing across the room. Just then, I notice the entire restaurant is staring. Figures, since they were ever since we entered the room. I decide to ignore them, instead turning towards Kurogane.

``Happy now?`` I ask him with a smile.

``Very,`` he answers. Fai pouts.

``You guys are mean!`` he whines. Syaoran and Sakura, who seemed to be too surprised to react at first are now almost screaming.

``Fai-san, are you…?``

``Do you feel okay? I'm sure we could get something…``

``It made an awful crash! It didn't break the table, did it?``

``I'm fine.`` Fai reassures them. ``It sounded worst than it was.`` I look at him with intrigued eyes. I clearly heard his head bang on the table, and that push was hard enough to make an entire man fall. Either he has a weird immunity to pain, or he's faking. I can't really be sure. Then he turns at me.

``Is this any way to treat someone?`` he asks me, his eyes wide in mock sadness.

``You know I hate when you do that,`` I answer simply.

``But I lent you my coat!`` he protests. I sigh.

``You also laughed at me, insulted me, and purposely kept talking about liquor even though I told you to stop,`` I reply calmly.

``It's still not a reason to hit me,`` he whines again.

``No, that was just to make Kuro-kun happy,`` I explain. Visibly out of arguments, Fai turns back to his plate with a sad face. I turn back to mine too, only to realize I have no chopsticks. Instead I see a small rounded knife and a strange utensil, which ends with three spikes. I lift it up to look at it in the light, still puzzled as to what it's for. Syaoran comes to my rescue.

``Are you having trouble with your fork, Aisha-san?`` he asks politely.

``That thing?`` I ask, showing him the strange device. He nods.

``It's cutlery,`` he explains. ``You use it to eat.`` I look at the fork again, trying to figure out how to use it. In a flash, I grab the knife and fork in one hand, like chopsticks, and try to grab my piece of meat between them. But the chunk of beef is too heavy and easily slips between them, falling in the puree, which gets splashed all around. Fai gets some, so does Mokona and Sakura, who seems to suddenly snap out of an 'off' moment. I'm the worst, though, the white puree all over Fai's blue coat. The entire table freezes for a second. I stare at my plate for a few seconds until I feel like I can speak again.

``Um… I'm guessing that's not how it works?`` I say timidly. I feel myself blush furiously. I can be such a klutz sometimes! Why now? A few more seconds pass before the others start reacting. First it's Fai, throwing his head back and laughing crazily. To my surprise, Syaoran joins him, followed by Mokona, who jumps inside my coat and tickles me. Surprised, I jump. But the other's laugh is contagious and I soon find myself laughing as well. At the other end of the table, I see Kurogane quickly let go of his own fork and knife, which he had tried to use the same way I did. I don't think anybody else sees it, but that detail alone makes me laugh even harder. Beside me, Sakura is looking around with a dazed expression, obviously trying to figure out why everyone is laughing and she has puree in her hair. But I clearly see her light up with a smile when she sees Syaoran laughing madly with us. Ah, young love. But it's true, now that I think of it, I never saw Syaoran laugh once since I came along. Smile, sure, but only when Sakura was there. I guess nothing was worth laughing. I haven't laughed much either, other than sarcastic chuckles and small bouts of hysteria. But now I am, at a table full of strangers. No, not strangers. Not anymore.

Syaoran is the first to regain control of himself. Trying to suppress his large smile, he grabs his own cutlery.

``Like this,`` he explains, holding one in each hand. ``The knife is to cut and the fork is to grab the food.`` He pricks his fork in his chunk of beef to immobilize it and starts cutting with small back-and-forth movements. I try to imitate him, but my knife is slippery and I never seem to be able to cut through the whole thing without loosing it. Kurogane, on his part, completely ignores Syaoran's directions and is trying to rip it apart using two forks. And all the while the entire room keeps staring at us, the odd bunch of travelers struggling to eat with forks and knifes.

``We really do stand out,`` Fai notices.

``Our clothes are the major problem,`` Syaoran explains.

``They're so different from the clothes in this country,`` Fai agrees. ``Especially Kuro-tan's.`` he adds after a second's thought. At those words the ninja perks up and mumbles something made unintelligible by the piece of meat in his mouth. After trying to rip it apart, it's almost like he wants to eat it whole. Syaoran leans over the table towards Fai.

``But, is it okay?`` he asks the wizard. ``This meal…``

``What's the problem?`` Fai asks innocently. Syaoran takes a few careful glances around and lowers his voice to barely a whisper.

``We don't have any currencies from the country,`` he says. Ah, right. We wouldn't want the owner to know that we might not pay his food. But Fai only waves the argument away and smiles broadly.

``That's okay!`` he chirps. ``Isn't that right, Sakura-chan?``

``Huh?`` the princess answers.

A few minutes later, Sakura is seated at another table with two men and a strange deck of cards. I tried following the game for a while, but it got too complicated. All I got was that the crown was stronger than the horse, which was stronger than the tower (which, if you ask me, makes no sense. How in blazes could a horse run down a tower?) That, and the fact they're playing for money. Turns out that's how we got clothes in Koryo, too. Sakura was playing this simple game with dices and ended up winning every single time! The same thing's happening here. She just got a whole deck of crowns, which is apparently the strongest deck you can get. The only thing I understand in this: more money in Fai's large bag. Now the conversations are heating up, the men wondering how Sakura wins all the time, and many are accusing us of cheating. Meanwhile, at the other table…

``No, you hold it this way,`` Syaoran explains patiently as I made yet another mistake at holding my fork. I growl in frustration.

``If you ask me, which you haven't, it's much more simple to just cut the food in small pieces _before_ serving it,`` I say exasperatedly. I would give anything to just go back to my chopsticks right about now. So would Kurogane, who is now fighting Mokona for his steak. That's how you call that huge chunk of meat, according to Fai. Behind us, the voices that had calmed down are rising again, as Sakura wins for the who-knows-how-many-eth time. I see Syaoran sigh and look longingly over my shoulder to her. I can tell he doesn't like it when people yell at his princess. Looking pensively at my barely-half-eaten steak, I push my plate away.

``Come on,`` I tell Syaoran. ``Let's go see how they're doing.``

``But, your food…`` he protests, though I know he wants to go.

``I wasn't that hungry anyways,`` I cut him off as I get up. ``Besides, Mokona can have it and stop pestering Kurogane.`` Honestly I doubt that, since neither Sakura nor Syaoran have finished their steak either, and they have remained untouched in their plates. I suspect Mokona to want to annoy Kurogane more than anything else. But I seem to convince Syaoran, and we make our way to the other table where people have started to crowd to see the unnaturally lucky princess. Fai is now reassuring the other players, who accuse him of some sort of devilish trick.

``We don't have time to cheat,`` he reminds them, sweeping all the money in his large bag (which they have also won at the card game.) Pulling on the strings to squeeze it shut, he points behind him to where Kurogane is sitting.

``If you have any problem at all, please talk to the man in black over there,`` he says with one of his huge smiles. At his words, the ninja perks up and turns around.

``What?`` he growls at the wizard. Both players quickly cower in the corner, mumbling things like: 'No, nothing at all!' and 'Sorry to have suspected you!' Both Fai and me watch them do so with victorious smiles. It's not like it's Sakura's fault they can't hold on to their money! 'A gambler is always a looser', Etsuko used to say. She knew what she was talking about, her dad going every night to the casino. Ren would have a different opinion, but not everybody's as good at probabilities and strategies as she is. She could beat every level of CyberChess, this video game where you played chess against the computer. I could barely get pass level 5! And there was 30 levels… Anyway, all this to say she was a real strategy wiz. She was so good most of us would have followed her into the craziest plan on earth, because she was always right. Always… Stop thinking about home! I tell myself. Stop it!

``Nice work, Sakura-chan!`` Fai congratulates the princess as he helps her to her seat. ``The most important thing now is that we have enough money,`` he adds, his smile widening. Rolling my eyes, I follow them, though I had just gotten up from my chair. Syaoran does the same. A large man makes his way to our table with a large plate full of drinks. He has the look of someone who works hard and has gotten rewarded for it. I've seen him before, when we had just entered the restaurant. The waitresses all treat him with deference, so I assume he must be the boss around here. He sets a glass next to Sakura.

``You are pretty good, little girl,`` he tells her with respect. I see her smile shyly.

``I don't even know the rules of the game,`` she admits. ``Is that all right?`` The owner looks at her for a few moments, undecided, then seems to think it's all a joke and laughs noisily.

``You're kidding!`` he decides. The princess retains herself from arguing, feeling it will be no use anyway. Then the owner starts passing the drinks off to the rest of us, talking all the way.

``You're clothes are pretty weird. Are you tourists?`` he asks no one in particular.

``Yes. We're looking for something, so we are traveling all around,`` Syaoran answers.

``Have you decided where to go yet?`` the owner asks, handing out his drink to Syaoran.

``No, not yet,`` the later answers again.

``Well, let me give you some advice,`` the man leans towards us, as if conspiring. ``Do not go north.``

``Why not?`` Fai asks curiously.

``There is a terrifying legend in the Northern Country,`` he explains, finally giving me my drink. I sniff it curiously, get a whiff of alcohol and glare at Fai. All he finds to do is smile innocently, as if I didn't already know he's the one who ordered them. Thankfully Sakura's drink isn't the same as mine, and I hope Syaoran's isn't either. I pointedly push my glass away, refusing to drink from it.

``What kind of legend?`` Syaoran asks the owner. The man clears his throat, puts down his plate and begins:

``Long ago, there was a castle in the Northern Country. There lived a beautiful princess with golden hair. One day, a bird flew to the princess's side. It gave to her a shiny feather and said: 'There is a strong magic within this feather. It will give you mysterious powers.'`` I perk up at those words. A shiny feather with magical powers, eh? That sounds strangely like one of Sakura's feathers… I go back to listening to the story. We can think of that later. ``The princess got the feather. After that, the king and queen died suddenly, and the princess was left master of the castle. And then, as though attracted by the feather, children living outside the castle started disappearing one by one.`` The man's voice goes deeper and his face takes a grim expression. ``They never returned,`` he concludes. Whoa, talk about messed up fairytales. I mean, maybe the kids just really liked it at the castle, who knows? And why wouldn't we go to the north because a creepy fairytale is staged there? Oooh, we're going to have trouble sleeping at night… quick, run! Heavy sarcasm intended.

``Is that a fairytale?`` Fai asks innocently. The owner shakes his head.

``No, it's a true story.``

``But there is indeed a castle in the Northern Country,`` Syaoran tries.

``This is a story passed down for 400 years. That castle should be in ruins by now,`` the owner explains.

``So,`` Fai retries, ``because of this terrifying(he says it with lots of sarcasm) legend, we shouldn't go to the Northern Country-?`` I get his point. He told us not to go there and his only argument is that an evil princess that's been dead for 400 years once possibly lived there. Besides, now that we know a feather was involved, not much would stop Syaoran from going.

``No,`` the man says gravely, and I lift my head to look at him. Something in his tone doesn't bode well. A slight shiver makes its way up my spine. ``Just like in the legend, children started disappearing again.``


	11. Jade Country Dress Code

I DO NOT OWN TRC!! OR CLAMP!! Or Fai, though sometimes I wish I did. Anyway, moving on.

I thank the people who have taken the time to review this story and I really hope I get more amazing reviews from you guys! Oh, and Amika-chan… are you talking from experience about the book thing? Cause you sounded like you know what you're talking about… Ouch!

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"I hate this dress!" I moan for the twenty-third time.

"Stop whining!" Kurogane says like all the times before. I sigh hopelessly and resume my train of thought.

Boy, that tailor was creepy. We hadn't taken two steps into the store that he came rushing to us, grabbed Sakura and me by the arm and whisked us off at the back of the store.

"I'll take the ladies first," he told the boys before leaving them standing, clueless, at the door. There was a short pause where we all looked curiously at each other, then he decided to move. He went to Sakura first. Out of his pocket came a long measuring tape, which he quickly proceeded to wrap around every possible part of Sakura's body. The measuring was quick and effective as he kept on blabbering about random subjects – the weather, the current fashion, the fabric of Sakura's clothing. I think it was meant to be a conversation, but he was talking so fast I could barely make out what he was talking about before he changed the subject.

Then he turned to me and ordered me to take off my coat. He clucked disapprovingly as I did so, staring at my tank top like it was a racy outfit you would see at those downtown clubs in Hanshin. But he took my measurements all the same, staying clear of looking at my bare shoulders and calves, like I would have minded. When a man's idea of inappropriate is looking at your shoulders, consider yourself lucky. He was done with me a lot faster than Sakura, and quickly started asking questions about the style. Or, he didn't ask questions as much as he told us what would look good on us. I honestly barely understood anything as he talked about fabrics, cuts and ruffles. Both Sakura and me were silenced to mere spectators, smiling and nodding to whatever he said. I did throw in that we would travel and needed something fit for that, but I'm not sure he heard me. Instead the tailor threw me a heap of clothing and told me to try it on.

"I'll adjust it later," he said, then gave the same thing to Sakura, more ceremoniously. He walked towards the guys, closed a curtain between us, and that was it. I inspected the clothing and found out it was some sort of loose body suit. I'm guessing that's what they consider underwear here. We eventually managed to figure something out, after many falls and minor rips. I tell you, if I have to put this on every morning, I'm out.

The bodice wasn't too tight, so I decided the corset was still to come. Then the tailor walked in the room, without so much as an announcement. He fiddled with my undergarnements until he had all the adjustments pinpointed and ready to be sown. I admit not making it easy for him, twitching every time he'd prick me with a needle (okay, so the needle pricking was also my fault. What can I say; I can't stand still for very long) and complaining it was too tight. Then he sowed it directly on me, moving quickly so he could go to Sakura. I managed to escape in one of his moments of inattention. I hide between two curtains and hoped he wouldn't put his plan of turning me into a lady in execution. But my prayers went unheard – it took a grand total of twenty seconds for Syaoran to find me, and since Fai is not the, let's say subtle type, it took another ten seconds for the tailor to walk in and drag me back to the fitting room. There he turned into a giddy schoolboy, dancing everywhere as he threw a cotton candy-colored dress on Sakura and adjusted it to perfection – all while keeping an eye on me, might I add. He then let Sakura go and turned to me.

There was apparently all this issue about having to match my hair color, and so greens were _out of the question_ though they were _perfect for my complexion, _and so forth. I think I was the one to suggest that white – and denim – goes with everything, and so before I could react I was wearing a pure white dress with a hoop skirt and ruffled sleeves that gathered at the elbows. He got it adjusted in maybe three seconds since those dresses are made long and – surprise! – I was the tallest girl he had ever seen. He coupled it with a deep red corset that laced at the front to 'add a bit of color' as he said. I have to admit I don't look too bad in it, though the red-over-white gives me a slightly chilly aspect. Almost vampire-like, actually.

So, since he got both of the girls over with, it was time for the guys. At first he pranced around Kurogane, crooning things like: 'Um… we _must_show off these muscles.' or 'Black! Black is the color for you!' I assume this observation had nothing to do with the fact Kuro-tan was completely dressed in it. Oh well. Who am I to judge him? So all the boys were dressed, Fai in blue (Duh), Syaoran in green (What else?) and Kurogane in black (Obviously). He might be a little enthusiast, but let me tell you something: that tailor is _not _original. I think I was the only one not dressed in the color I was previously wearing (my tank top was yellow with blue stripes and my capris were jeans.) Then he gave us coats for the guys and a cape for Sakura. I was about to protest because I hadn't gotten anything when the tailor walked out of a backroom with a nice fur-lined shawl, which he handed over to me. I took it and quickly put it on, marveling at the softness of it. It was a soft lilac, lined in white and it fastened at the front with a small silver button. It even had a hood! Fai eagerly paid the man with our savings and we were on our way out the door when…

"Wait a second! You forgot these!" the tailor cried out behind us. I turned around, only to see a pair of gloves thrown hastily at me. I caught them and put them on, wondering how he had known to give us gloves – we hadn't asked for any. I had even forgot about that. Then the slightly embarrassing part comes.

"And look!" the tailor exclaimed, pointing at both my gloves and Fai's. "A nice matching pattern for the lovely couple!" He then beamed at us. I was too overwhelmed to respond.

"Me and Fai, a couple?" I finally managed to ask. There was no disgust or sarcasm in my voice, only surprise. Why would he think that? The tailor confusedly looked back and forth from Fai to me. He quickly blushed as he realized his error.

"I'm so sorry," he said to me, glancing at Fai. "I just thought since he bought you the shawl and the way he-"

"That will be enough, thank you," Fai interrupted before grabbing my arm and pulling me out of the shop, quickly followed by the others. We made our way through the street, me still towed by Fai and the others struggling to keep up to Fai's frantic pace. I finally got rid of his hand and stopped.

"What's the rush?" I asked, putting my hand on his shoulder to stop him as well.

"Nothing," he answered, turning around and flashing a large smile. A large fake smile. I decided to change the subject.

"You really bought this for me?" I asked again, passing my finger on the soft fur of the shawl. He nodded.

"That way you won't need to borrow my coat anymore," he explained.

"Thanks," I said. "And by the way, the stable is the other way," I pointed out before turning around and walking there myself. I had only taken a few steps when he caught up to me.

"Do you… I mean, is it…?" he stammered, trying to find his words. I glanced sideways at him and suppressed a smile. His insecurity when it came to a simple thing like that was just so cute. I flicked on my hood and smiled at him.

"I love it!" I assured him. He smiled back at me, and by God I would have sworn… this time it was for real.

After that, long story short, we got horses. I discovered that as soon I do anything else than walking in this dress it hurts and I can't breathe; and we were off. I still have no idea why I got trusted on my own horse – Sakura and Syaoran are riding together, and Fai, Kurogane and I are stuck to fend for ourselves – since the closest I've ever been to a horse is a motorcycle. My horse – I've been told her name is Silver – will simply _not_ listen to me. So far she's been following the other's horses so I've managed okay, but I just don't know what I'm going to do if she decides to go somewhere else. Which is pretty much what's happening now.

"Left!`` I order. ``Go left!`` But the mare does as she pleases, heading for a shady spot next to a tree.

"Pull on the left rein,`` Kurogane tells me as _his_ horse follows the path to the left.

"The left what?`` I ask, a bit in panic. Despite what the tailor said, this dress is _not _fit for horseback riding. I can feel the fabric pulling in odd places, and every breath requires effort. With a loud sigh, the ninja leans towards me, grabs the leather strap attached to the horse's bridle and yanks gently towards him. Silver hesitates, shakes her head – and turns left. I'm left dumbfounded. How did he do that? He wasn't even riding her! Kurogane shakes his head and turns away.

"Wow there! Wait up! How the hell did you do that?" I almost yell. He turns back to face me.

"You pull left if you want to go left. You pull right if you want to go right. You squeeze with your legs if you want to go faster. You pull back on both reins if you want to stop or go slower. Any question?" he asks exasperatedly.

"Yeah. Can you show me?" I answer hopefully. He grunts something that strangely sounds like an insult, but ends up teaching me anyways. But it's harder than it looks, and we fight a lot. Especially since my dress doesn't allow me to do everything he wants me to do.

"I can't, dammit!" I'm starting to lose my patience. He just asked me for the tenth time to lean forward and adjust my stirrup, but my corset keeps me from breathing if I move my upper body too much, and I can't reach the damn things under my dress.

"All you need to do is lean forward, idiot!" he responds.

"Well maybe I could if it weren't for that stupid dress!" I answer, raising my voice.

"I'm not very comfortable in my clothes either, yet you don't see me complaining!"

"You're not the one with a hoop skirt and a corset that barely let's you breathe!" We're both yelling now.

"I'm not the one who's whining like a baby!"

"No, but you're the obnoxious jerk who gets all worked up over stupid things!"

"Name one time," Kurogane defies me, lowering his voice to a normal volume.

"Well, _now_," I count on my fingers, "then there was the time with the snowball, and when Fai and I call you nicknames, and that time on the roof in Koryo…"

"That was _you_ getting all worked up," he corrects me. I feel my cheeks warm when I remember he's right.

"Well," I defend myself, "the snowball thing _was_ overreacting."

"That was not overreacting."

"I _missed_! There was absolutely no reason to start chasing me around and make me fall in the snow. Do you have any idea how cold that is on bare skin?"

"Yes, and you deserved it. It was your fault too, for getting yourself too close to me. Didn't you learn anything fighting in Hanshin?" is his answer. I pout.

"I wasn't fighting you," I remind him. ``Kuro-puu," I quickly add.

"It's Kurogane!" he yells at me.

"I don't care!" I snap back. "What is it with you that makes you hate people so much?" At my words he seems to back away and, for the first time, I think I see him hesitate.

"I don't hate people," he finally shrugs it off.

"Then why are you so mean?" is my defiant answer.

"I'm not mean."

"Oh no, because glaring at everyone is not mean at all, is it?" I accuse him. I'm getting to the edge of what I can take. He's just too damn stubborn to understand. "And throwing a fit when things don't go exactly the way you want it. Oh, and did anybody ever told you grunting and yelling does _not_count as saying hello? I mean seriously, do you have any idea what it feels like to get yelled at every second you try to communicate with someone, and feeling lucky because you're not getting plain hit? I don't know what kind of place you come from, but in Hanshin we have something called manners. I'm sure it'd be healthy for you to learn the definition, if only not to scare everybody away from you. And besides, you're never gonna make any friends that way. Oh well. You can just stay a stupid loner for all I care! I mean, all I'm asking for is a little respect, you know? Just a little less yelling, maybe a few compliments here and there, getting called by my actual name! Maybe you could even start by trying to explain what others do wrong before you start screaming at them. Or is that too much to ask? If so, I'm sorry for asking for a little consideration. Do I have to remind you I've only been with you guys for three days and I'm already fed up with you? Sure, the others are annoying sometimes, but at least they're not rude and obnoxious! Even Fai's a darling compared to you!" I finish my tirade breathless, cheeks flushed. Kurogane is staring at me, his eyes wide and confused. He almost looks the way he did back on the roof in Koryo, last time I yelled at him. I support his gaze.

"Woo! Kuro-wanwan just got told!" Fai chirps in front of us. We both ignore him, caught up in our stare-down. Surprisingly, Kurogane is the first to back down. The tip of his ears turn as red as a tomato, and he looks away into the distance.

"I… hum… All I wanted to say was that you can't ride properly with stirrups the length of yours," he spits out, as if against his will.

"Thank you," I answer to his apparent surprise. "Now was that so hard?" He doesn't bother answering me, but I don't really care. I mean, one victory at a time, right?

"Huh?! What does it say?" Mokona's squeal snaps me out of my little world. He's pointing towards a small sign on the road, a few meters ahead. I can't recognize the writing at all. Neither do the others, judging by the confused glances they exchange each other. But, as we're all trying to figure out why there's a sign there and what it means, Syaoran's voice rings certain through our speculations and guesses.

"Spirit," he says. Then he shrugs, "I think that's how you say it. If it's the same pronunciation as my dad taught me."

"You actually read it!"

"That's great!" Fai and Sakura exclaim over his discovery. But my attention is taken by the small town I can make out below the hill we appear to be standing on. It's not very big, even smaller than the village we were previously in, and yet… There's something eerie about this town. Something blatantly out of place. That's when it hits me.

There's buildings down there, and I can see a few chicken coops and fields stretching as far as the eye can see, and small vegetable gardens, and a well and all the things you would expect to see in a quaint little village.

But no people.

The streets are empty, there's not a sound coming from the houses, even the chickens barely make a peep. Yet I can almost make out the strange, haunted silhouettes of people staring out their windows to us.

"What is this place?" I hear Kurogane mutter beside me.

"Welcome to Spirit," I breathe out.

Aisha's column

Kurogane now has something to say… I'll leave you with him. And I can guarantee that HE WILL BE POLITE!!! Thank you.

_Sheesh, kid, it's not like I wanted to eat them. Seriously, girls sometimes… Look, I'm not even sure what I'm doing here. The kid wanted me to comment, so I'm commenting. The truth is - she's a horrible rider. Well, she was anyway. And no, I'm not easily embarrassed when girls scream at me, okay! _

*Aisha whispers* Yes he is!

_No I'm not! Shut up mage, don't get into this! Won't you two stop defending each other! It's like I'm facing an army sometimes! And you're supposed to be on my side, anyway! I'm the one who-_

Now, Kuro-sama, we're getting in some pretty big spoilers here. Please shut up, or I will hurt you! *Innocent smile*

_*****__grumble, grumble…*_

Thank you! Bye now, and enjoy the next chapter (when it comes…) KURO-SAMA, GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!! IT'S NOT IN THERE, YOU KNOW!!! HEY, DON'T TOUCH THAT!!! FAI, STOP HELPING HIM!!! I WILL KILL BOTH OF YOU!!! DAMMIT!!!

Until next time…


	12. Spirit

I DON'T OWN ANYTHING!!!! Thank you. I have nothing to say, so you can just read on…

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Spirit. What an appropriate name for this town. A haunted ghost town, devoid of all life – in the poetic definition of the term. The houses look abandoned. The paint is chipped, the stone clearly visible through it, the plants are wilting, and I even saw a couple of loose dogs wandering the streets. And the scariest thing of all… the army of terrified eyes glued to us as we make our way to the center of the village. I've never been one to shy away from people's stares, but this is plain creepy. You almost expect them to come out of their houses as flesh-eating zombies and eat us alive. This could be one of those moments when I wish I'd be used to a more offensive type of weapon. Whips are great for fighting, especially if you don't want to get too close to your opponent, but it's _impossible_ to kill somebody with that. Not that I've ever tried. But still. If I was ever fighting man-eating undead creatures, I'd like something I can slash them open with. Just a thought. Moving on to the matter at hand.

"I feel like we're not welcome here," Fai says as a door that was slightly ajar when we passed is slammed violently.

"Oh, you feel it too?" I reply in a sarcastic tone. Kurogane looks at us like we're a couple of idiots.

"It's not 'feel like'. It's the truth," he says gruffly. I roll my eyes and look around some more. Ever since I yelled at him he's been particularly intent on stating the obvious. Maybe it's what he does when he's unsure of something, who knows? My eyes finally catch something other than stone and dirt from the road. A little girl is standing in front of one of the smaller house's doors, a cat in her arms. She stares at us with wide eyes. I smile widely at her.

"Hey there, sweetie," I say. She just keeps on staring curiously at me.

"Hello," Syaoran has noticed her also. Both he and Sakura give her sweet smiles. "I'd like to ask you a question about this town…" The door behind the girl creeks as it opens to show a panicky woman, her frightened eyes locked on us. A protective arm quickly presses the little girl to her mother as the later exclaims:

"Didn't I tell you not to go out!" before closing the door on both of them. A few seconds later I can feel two more eyes staring at us from the upstairs window. Well, that helps us a whole lot, thanks lady! I've never seen a mother be so overprotective. Then again, if children really are disappearing… even if it's only a rumor, I'd be scared for my daughter too.

"I guess that has something to do with what we heard at the bar," Fai deducts.

"How are we supposed to confirm anything if no one will talk to us?" I sigh in frustration. Sheesh, there's a limit to being scared.

"At least tell us where the golden-haired princess is…" Syaoran echoes my thoughts. At that moment the air is filled with the thudding of heavy boots on the ground and the heavy breathing of those who run but aren't used to it. I barely have the time to look around to see where it comes from before the street in front of us is blocked by a line of shiny riffles. At the sight of them Kurogane's horse gets up on his hind legs and bumps into Silver, who starts panicking. I muffle a yelp as she turns in tight circles, alternatively kicking with her front and hind legs. I cling helplessly to her mane and bring my legs up to support myself on her back, but I know I won't last long if I can't calm her down. She kicks again and I find myself falling down with no support. I grab her neck at the last second, and my face falls inches from her moving leg. I try not to scream, but sound still escapes my lips as I'm forced to look down to the hard street below and the even harder hoofs swinging back and forth. Then, as suddenly as it started, the rocking ends. Both Fai and Kurogane had grabbed Silver's bridle and found a way to calm her. I glance upwards to where Fai is sitting. My position makes it awkward; I'm practically hanging on the side of my horse, the only thing keeping me there is my left arm and leg hooked onto her back and neck.

"There, there, girl. You're alright," Fai says in a soothing tone. I can't be sure weather he's talking to the horse or me. I manage to climb back on Silver and glare at the men in front of us – the ones with the riffles. Kurogane is already doing the same. It's probably because they made his horse almost throw him off as well. He didn't seem to have any trouble stopping him, though.

"Who are you?" the man in the front, the one obviously in charge, yells in our direction.

"We are traveling around the world to investigate old legends and architecture," Syaoran answers without a second's thought. It almost sounds as though he rehearsed it.

"Oh yeah? And what are you investigating for?" the man replies skeptically. I'm about to say something not very nice, just because he's starting to piss me off, but Syaoran is faster.

"We want to write a book," is his surprising answer. The men with the riffles were not the only ones astonished.

"We do?" I whisper, not loud enough for the others to hear me.

"A book?" the man asks again.

"Yes."

"A kid like you?!"

"Of course not. It's this person," Syaoran points towards Fai. I sigh and shake my head. If Fai is the one writing the book, I don't want to hear what stories he'll make up for us.

"That's right!" Fai chirps happily, automatically taking control of the conversation. There he goes… He gestures to Sakura first. "This is my sister, this boy here is my assistant, the girl beside me is my translator, and this one-" he shows them Kurogane, "This one's my servant!"

"Who's the servant, you –" Kurogane can barely utter those words before two things happen. One: Mokona jumps from behind and redefines the meaning of the word head-butt. Literally. And second, I reach for his ear and twist it harshly towards me. I do feel bad for him; I wouldn't want to be the servant, but this is our cover and if he dares to blow it… well, we'll just see.

"Calm down and stop whining," I order him in a whisper. "I'm not too thrilled about this either, but we have to go with it." I mean, what was Fai thinking calling me a translator? Does he know how many languages I can speak? One. Uno. Mine. And that's it. What are we going to do if I actually have to translate something? I swear that guy has air between his ears. Not even dust or lint or spiders. Just air. He's not even worthy of dust. Besides, his story didn't do much to help us. The men in front of us still refuse to drop their guard.

"STOP!" A man's voice yells. I turn to find a lanky man with long dark hair and glasses run towards us. He's carrying a doctor's bag, and seems to be somewhat powerful; the men all point their riffles down as he makes his way to us. He plants himself in front of us in a protective stance.

"How dare you point your riffles at innocent travelers!" he exclaims to the men in front of him.

"But at times like these, these foreigners…" the man who questioned us before tries to explain.

"Precisely because they come from another land, we should not be impolite!" the nice man then turns towards us. "I apologize for our rudeness, travelers," he says. He scans over us quickly, his face not denoting anything but polite greeting until his eyes meet mine. He needs to do a double take and his jaw slightly drops in what seems like surprise, but he quickly reverts to his previous expression.

"Welcome to Spirit," he concludes.

"I really do apologize for that welcoming party," the man says for the tenth time as he hands me a hot drink. He has led us to a large building with a common room and many bedrooms, which looks like an old inn.

"That's alright. I…We've been greeted worst," I answer politely. I _am_ trying to make him feel better, but I'm not lying. I was once welcomed into a dark alley by twenty guys, kudans at the ready, and _they_ were actually firing. Not exactly what I was planning for a Friday night, but… what do you want? That's what life is when you're part of a gang. People you don't even know try to kill you. Some areas of the city become out of bounds. Everybody assumes you're a teenage delinquent. You get stuck in awkward situations. (Remind me to tell you about that time with me, Ren and the cops. I'll probably get to it later, when it makes more sense. And when it's funnier.) Most of your weekends become training days. And then, once in a while, you get a good fight with lots of action and –

"I'm sorry, but I don't recall having heard your names," the doctor notices. Fai – obviously – answers.

"I apologize for not having introduced ourselves. I am Fai D. Flowright. My lovely sister's name is Sakura, and my assistant is Syaoran. As for our servant…"

"The name is Ku-ro-ga-ne," the ninja interrupts, arms crossed and his glare defying us to contradict him.

"Yeah, but we like to call him Kuro-tan," I continue, a satisfied smile on my face. The death glare sent my way by the ninja only makes it grow wider.

"So states our marvelous translator, Aisha," Fai concludes.

"Flattery will get you nowhere," I tell him, distractedly looking at my nails. It's an old trick – don't look at a guy when you diss him. Otherwise, most of them think you're flirting. The others actually get the message and leave. And then there's Fai. I could openly insult this guy and he still wouldn't get the hint.

"A man can try, can't he?" he answers, his dumb smile shining. He slides closer to me on the couch. My hand stops him before he gets too close.

"Back off," I hiss. The man who greeted us here laughs softly.

"My name is Kyle Londart. I am a doctor in this village," he introduces himself. I give him a polite smile, but am quickly distracted by Fai leaning towards me despite my warning. His face quickly meets my open hand, which sends him sliding back a few inches on the couch.

"Thanks for letting us stay here," Syaoran tries to distract the others from Fai's silent mock weeping.

"Please don't mention it," the doctor says. "This used to be an inn. There are many vacant rooms." Suddenly, the door opens with a large crash.

"What is the meaning of this, doctor?" a very upset man enters the room, followed by an elderly balding man. "Bringing outsiders here at a time like this!"

"Mr. Glosam, please calm down!" the elderly man begs him, but this Glosam dude doesn't seem to cool off.

"How can I be calm, Mr. Mayor! We haven't found any of the missing children yet!" As if to emphasize his point, Glosam taps his cane on the floor. I freeze. So it's true then. Children really are disappearing. And as strangers, obviously we are suspicious. I half-expect the doctor to get upset, and either ask us to leave or defend his own actions with great emotion, but he does none of that. Instead, he calmly faces the man.

"That's why," he says simply. "These people are doing research on legends around the world. They might be able to help us in this occurrence."

"These vagabonds that came out of nowhere?" Glosam snickers with disgust as he quickly scans us. "What do they know?" My eyebrows arch in disbelief and then knit in anger as he insults us.

"Wait a second, you…" I hurriedly shush the insult I was about to utter. Instead, I decide to continue my tirade, insult-free. "What makes you think you can just order us out of here? You're not more important than us, as far as I'm concerned. And besides, how could it be our fault children are missing if we only arrived twenty minutes ago? Can you answer that, oh! Mighty one?" Kurogane sends me another death glare, which manages to shut me up, but Glosam and I keep staring at each other for a few seconds before he turns back to Dr. Kyle.

"I do hope you are sure of this," he says finally, glancing in my direction. Kyle supports his gaze.

"They know things that are unknown to people living here," he repeats. Glosam glares at all of us.

"If anything happens again, it will be too late by then," he warns before swiftly turning on his heels and disappearing through the door, leaving the balding man stranded in the middle of the room. He seems confused for a while, looking everywhere in the room, until he finally decides to move.

"Just make sure they leave in the morning," he mumbles to the doctor before departing on the heels of Glosam. Kyle slams the door himself after he leaves. He stays there a few seconds, head bowed and shoulders dropping from frustration.

"Excuse me for not introducing them to you," he finally says, turning back to us. "They are the mayor and Mr. Glosam. is the owner of most of the land here." Oh, so he _is_ more important than us. My bad. I still meant what I told him, though. Fai gets up from the couch, his expression serious now.

"Looks like we have come troubling you at a bad time. We have heard of the legend of Spirit in the previous town-"

"I believe it's just an ordinary legend as well," Kyle starts, as if he feared we would think otherwise, "Who would have thought that children really started vanishing…" he looked down, an expression of intense sadness on his face. "We looked very hard, but we weren't able to find any of them. Twenty children are missing as of now." Twenty? Twenty kids? That can't be… How can twenty kids disappear in a remote area like this and not one can be found? I would understand in a large city, but… here? The guy who does this is clever. Clever and perverted. Who kidnaps kids just for the fun of it?

"How can this be?" Sakura asks, voicing my thoughts.

"No wonder they were on their guards when they saw us," Kurogane adds. What kind of person could possibly be doing this? All those children, lost and scared somewhere in the forest… if they're still alive. A shiver makes its way up my spine. They could be dead, their little corpses rotting in a ditch for all we know. My hands ball into tight fists. The image of Hisho and Hinata lying, lifeless, in the blood-covered snow forces itself in my mind. My knuckles are turning white. White as snow. Cold, barren, unfriendly snow. Twenty children are somewhere out in that snow, dead or alive, nobody knows. But even if they are alive… they better be alive, I tell myself. If they aren't, I swear I will find whoever has done this and make him pay. He's going to wish he never had the idea to come to this town in the first place. _It could have been them_. The phrase never leaves my mind. Maybe not in this world, but in Hanshin even. Even then, something could have happened. What if it was them? Would I still be in this room, waiting for the morning to come to do anything?

No. I would be out in the woods, searching and yelling their names, never resting until they were found. Kento would be with me. He'd be right by my side, he'd pick it right up where I had left it if I was too tired to go on. Together, we'd find them. We wouldn't stop until we did. We would go on until our voices gave out, until we could no longer walk, until our frozen fingers could no longer move. Then we would fall asleep under a tree, warming each other with our bodies, hoping we would have better luck the next day. And we would find them, and they would be okay, and we would all go home. But… do all the missing kids' parents feel the same way? Maybe they want to find them, but they don't have a Kento to help. Or maybe some of them don't want to find their kids. Maybe they just don't care. Would Mom care if the twins went missing? What if they did? I won't be there. Would Kento and Etsuko care enough to go out looking for them? What if… What if…

"Pinky… Are you alright?" Fai's voice snaps me out of it. I feel his gentle finger on my cheek and realize a tear has found its way out of my eye. I brush it furiously away, along with Fai's hand.

" 'm fine," I mumble, rubbing my eyes to suppress all signs of upcoming tears. I don't know why I'm crying. Or rather… I know why, I just can't believe it. Me, Aisha, the girl who never cries no matter what happens to her, just let a tear escape because of something that doesn't even concern her? Because of something that hasn't happened – and probably never will? This time-space travel is really messing me up, big time. I really hope weird things are going to stop happening soon, or else I'm going to burst. But for some reason, I think the weird stuff is yet to come…

"At least we have a place to stay for the night," Fai tries to see the bright side as we make our way upstairs.

"But…" I counter, just for the hell of it, "we still don't know anything about the golden-haired princess, we have to leave tomorrow morning which means we won't get to learn anything new, and this hoop is giving me a rash," I emphasize by bending down and attempting to scratch my leg. (Attempt that miserably fails. There is simply nothing that goes through this puffy hoop skirt!)

"Sensitive skin much," Kurogane chips in.

"Oh, shut up Kuro-muy," I say as I turn to face him. "And if you don't let go of Mokona soon, he'll turn _into_ a rash." The ninja glares as I call him by one of his many nicknames, but still won't let go of Mokona, whom he is stretching like an elastic ready to burst. The little white bun is turning redder by the second, and if this doesn't stop he's going to end up being as red as the jewel on his forehead.

"You're pretty good at making stuff up, Syaoran," Fai says, referring to when we were surrounded by the gunmen. Syaoran blushes a bit at the compliment.

"My dad and I used that excuse a lot when we traveled," he explains. Oh right, I remember hearing something about Syaoran traveling with his father pretty often. I wonder where his father is now… Probably back at his country, wishing his son to be back as soon as possible. I wonder if he even knows where Syaoran is. The way he was telling us about it, it sounded like he had to leave in a bit of a hurry.

"Things are getting pretty serious," Fai notices, glancing over his shoulder through the window, to the scene below. The villagers are gathering, lanterns glowing in the night, ghostly figures crying names I don't know. I offered to help, but the man who was in charge of the gunmen swiftly pushed me aside. We had a bit of an argument, but he won. So here I am, forced to stay inside while the entire village is out in the cold. I guess I wouldn't have made a difference anyway, since they wouldn't have looked anywhere they hadn't looked a hundred times before. I guess…

"Anyway, it's already very late," Fai says, opening the door to mine and Sakura's room. Sakura passes out at that instant, into Syaoran's arms. Turns out she needs to sleep much more than she actually does. I smile tenderly and help carry her into our room.

"Good night then," I tell the others.

"Sleep well," Fai answers as the guys enter their own room, right across the hall. Kurogane mumbles something like 'G'Night' when he passes me, and I wink at him.

"Sweet dreams, Kuro-wanwan," I tease. He doesn't turn back around to face me, but I can see just the tip of his ears turning red. Ah, teasing… What would we do without it?

The first thing I do when the door closes is to hastily unlace my corset. Thank God or whoever is up there that it laces at the front! I remove it just as hastily and throw it on my bed. The splash of red looks odd over the white sheets. Like a pool of blood someone left there in testament of a bloody murder. I chuckle.

Night tends to have that effect on me; I scare myself with creepy stories. But nevertheless, the sheets do look unwelcoming as I stare at them, undecided weather to lie down and sleep or not. I can't tell if it's simply the fact that I'm not all that tired or my fear of nightmares that makes me think like that. I haven't slept well at all since I began this journey, and the only time I managed to fall asleep okay was punctuated by a haunting nightmare. Not exactly an experience I'd like to repeat. Plus, I can feel a nightmare creeping up on me now, just waiting to happen. The image of the twins lying dead in a snow-covered ditch still haunts me. Well, there _was_ a nice fireplace down in the common room. And a library. I can't read the writing from this country, but it's something to keep me from falling asleep at the very least.

I manage to slip off the hoop from under my skirt and throw it on the bed next to my corset. It stays there like a beached whale, still keeping its shape. I can't believe women here wear these all the time. After three days I would burn it, and dance around the fire. Who cares if my dress isn't as puffy as it should be? I sigh, steal another glance at a sleeping Sakura, and leave the room. I carefully close the door behind me, hoping I won't wake up the guys – given that they're already sleeping, that is. It wouldn't surprise me if Fai and Kurogane would be having an argument, with Mokona jumping everywhere and Syaoran trying to stop them from hurting each other. But not a sound is coming from the other side of their door. Good. There's no one in the common room, since all the villagers are outside, searching. Without me. The fire is almost dead, but just a poke from a metal rod makes it roar again. I quickly scan the library, grab a random book and slouch on the sofa with a satisfied grunt. I can finally curve my back! The book open on my lap, I try to decipher the strange symbols. They don't make much sense, but just the effort keeps my mind occupied. That is, until my wandering hand finds a small bump that I had hidden in my boot. My wallet. I gulp. Should I look at them? What will I see? The warm fire now makes me think of a roaring beast, waiting for a moment of weakness to attack. The silence is threatening, engulfing me in its web. Fears come back. What if I never go home again? What if this is my only chance to see them? But more importantly…

Will I be able to look at them?

Suddenly, a strong magical energy enters the room, right behind me. It sends shivers down my spine. I close my eyes, try to calm down. The room is menacing, eerie.

"Our little sorceress is alone at last, is she not?" a strange voice asks behind me. Grabbing the book firmly in my hands, I prepare myself to strike.

"You know it's not very smart for a young girl to be alone, especially at this time of night," the voice continues, as it gets closer. The voice is the source of the magic. Not the source itself, but they both come from the same place. I am now clenching the book so hard my knuckles are turning white.

"Not very smart indeed," the voice concludes. I feel a hand come up behind me, stroke my hair. The magic gets stronger. Giving movements to my paralyzed arms, I swing around and strike.

"Ah, I thought you wouldn't ignore me for very long," I hear the voice say.


	13. The Mage from Celes

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN TRC!!!

I am sooooooooo sorry that it took me this long to update!! I have no excuse, but I'll try my hand at it anyway:

I had writer's block in the middle of this chapter. I rewrote it all over again and I'm still not satisfied with it.

EXAMS!!!! They're coming I tell you!!! They are!!! I can't get away from them!!

I got distracted… by my life. I know it sucks as an excuse, but I have other things to do than this (though its number 3 priority on my list)

But but but!!!! I got two chapters instead of just one!!! And they're pretty long to!!! So I hope this makes up for it…

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"You sick bastard!" I yell a few seconds later as I scramble over the back of the couch to stand in front of Fai. I give him another whack with my book, a heavy hardcover of 900+ pages. The blond man cringes as the large volume enters in contact with his cranium, but doesn't protest. Instead, he clears his throat and shoots me an apologetic look.

"Sorry," he says. "My voice seems to be getting a little hoarse lately."

"You call that a little hoarse?" I yell, but quickly lower my volume as I remember those sleeping upstairs. "You scared the heck out of me! What's with you, sneaking up behind me like that? And," I press my hand to the back of my head, as if to protect it," why the hell did you touch my hair?!"

"That was Mokona," Fai explains, holding up his hands in a gesture of peace. Sure enough, the furball comes bounding in my field of view at that very second.

"Mokona wanted to scare you, and it worked!" he chirps happily. But I'm more concerned by the emptiness of the room. Not physical emptiness, but… there's something missing. Something that was here not a few seconds ago. Where did that power go? I'm positive the energy I felt was not Fai's, though he does have a quite strong aura. And I'm sure it wasn't Mokona either. It just… disappeared, whenever I turned and smacked Fai in the guts. But then, if Fai was talking… I was so sure the voice and the power came from the same place.

"Why did you… say things like that? You know, that's what freaked me out the most," I ask, my voice now small and gentle. The truth is… that really scared me. I'm still shivering, though I'm doing all I can so that Fai won't notice.

"What are you talking about?" Fai's voice – his real voice – echoes through the room, as if confirming what I had feared. "I barely said anything." I give him an inquiring look.

"You didn't say things about…" I trail off. About how I was _finally _alone? About how it's dangerous? Didn't I hear the silent threat in his voice?

"I didn't say anything until you swung at me with that book," he explains. "I wanted to see how long it took you to notice me there. I wasn't expecting such a violent welcome, of course, but…" the smile disappears from his face. "Something's wrong," he says. It's not a question, he's not inquiring. He's just stating a fact. I look down at the floor. With a sigh, I lean back on the sofa and burry my face in my hands.

"Great," I mutter. "I really do hear voices." I feel a gentle hand on my shoulder.

"Is it the first time?" Fai asks. I shudder.

"Well," I finally say. "I was planning on asking you about it anyway, so…" I tell him about the lake, about the voice that told me what to do, about the episode a minute ago with the strange energy… I avoid his eyes the whole time, fearing to see disbelief in them or worst, pity. 'Poor girl, she's going crazy' he's going to think. But when I do look up to him after pouring my heart out, all I see is a certain understanding. Almost like he got answers to his own questions as I was asking for answers to mine.

He slowly guides me back to the sofa and motions me to sit down. He then goes to sit in a chair, facing me. We sit like that for a few seconds, waiting for the other to open the conversation. But it's for him to do so, and he knows it. So when he finally talks, I'm all ears.

"I've heard of things like that," he starts. "They're not the norm, but not uncommon. When a person is separated from part of their memories, it's not rare that they start hearing 'voice' – runaway pieces of memory that they can't reach otherwise." He gives me a reassuring smile. "It's not a sign of insanity at all – in fact, it's quite healthy. If you hadn't heard that voice back in the lake, you might've drowned."

"But…" I try to find my words. "They weren't just blabbering a bunch of information. It's like they were actually _talking _to me. Especially the last one," I shiver at the thought.

"I'm no expert," Fai admits with a shrug, "but I do believe that's not odd either. It's just your body's way of justifying you knowing that information." I bring my legs up on the couch and wrap my arms around my knees. I don't like the thought of my body knowing things that I don't.

"Hey, wait a minute," I just realized something. "What tells you I'm missing memories?" Fai looks at me with an enigmatic smile, but doesn't bother answering me.

"Did you think that jewel of yours was just an ornament?" he asks instead. I grab my barrette protectively.

"Yes, I did think it was just an ornament, actually," I answer boldly. Fai chuckles and shakes his head, like he would to a stubborn child.

"Then why would the Dimensions Witch have such an interest in it?" he says. "You weren't listening to what she said?" Frankly, at the time I was more worried about never going home, and didn't really wondered why she was asking for a certain object versus another. I tell him that. He laughs again.

"You really are something," he concludes. "Really…" His gaze shifts to the side and he looks blankly in the distance for a moment. His expression is peaceful, yet… sad. Incredibly, terribly sad. Like he's looking back on a fond memory, and he wishes those times would have never ended. He stays like this for a while, until I decided he's spaced out for long enough.

"Hello," I call out, waving my hand in front of his face. "Is anybody home, or did the spiders take over?" His eyes flutter, like he's just woken up from a dream, and he look at me with a sad smile.

"Mmh?" he asks. "Yes, I'm fine."

"Well that's great, because you were kind of telling me something important here," I answer, annoyed. This is probably one of my last chances to get a serious conversation with the guy, and he decides to go spazy on me. Great.

"Yes, well, as I was saying," he continues as though nothing happened, "the witch said that your barrette was a seal, and a pretty powerful one at that. _Memories and power, _that's what she said it contained. And I have to agree with her," he gives me a strange look, "which is the oddest part of all."

"Wh…What?" I ask. Right now, it seems like the only word I can manage to say. "So, you're saying that this… _thing_… is sealing off my memories?" I play nervously with my barrette.

"Don't forget your powers," he points out. "That would explain why you can't control them. But it is odd indeed…"

"Okay, Mr. Smarty-Pants," I snap, "Why don't you pretend for a second that I know nothing about magic, spells, seals, or all that stuff – which I don't – and could you please explain to me what the hell is so odd?" Fai sighs.

"One can seal many things magically," he says. "But to manage to seal off completely another's powers from themselves is – unheard of. Partial seals are quite common, actually, but a seal powerful enough to block your powers from you entirely – and let's not forget it is still sealing off some of your memories – is pretty much impossible to find. The power in this one is considerable," he gestures towards my barrette, "Yet it still does not manage to seal off your magic permanently. The proof is that you can still use it, though you can't control when and how."

I bite my thumb. I don't like this. How could I be missing memories and not know about it? And why would someone remove them? Did I see something that I shouldn't have? Why did someone seal away my powers? Why _would _someone do that? It makes no sense. When did it happen? I've had that barrette for as long as I can remember. The urge to know suddenly overcomes me. I want to know how this happened. I want to know why, and when and where, and who did it. I want to know why my memories and my powers were kept from me. And only one solution comes to mind. _Take it off. _I was never able to unfasten the tiny bolt that held it in place, though I had tried thousands of times before. My mom had told me it was common for these kinds of ornaments to get stuck, and we had left it at that. I had no particular desire of taking it off either, since I liked it. But I _was _listening at what the witch said, and I did catch on to some things.

"Could you take it off?" I ask Fai. "Please," I add quickly, remembering my manners. The wizard seems taken aback by my question and for a moment, the same expression of fear I had seen when the witch had previously mentioned taking my barrette off flashes on his face. Again, it is quickly replaced by a smile, but I didn't miss it.

"Could you?" I repeat. He doesn't answer right away. I stare at him. He squirms uncomfortably in his seat. I'm just going to stare until he opens his mouth, I tell him. He laughs joylessly. We stay like this another couple of seconds. He finally gives me his answer.

"No," he says. My jaw drops.

"Why not?" I demand furiously. Maybe I'm being though on the guy, but these are my memories we're talking about. I think I have a right to know my own memories.

"What makes you think I can, if you've said yourself that you've tried many times before and couldn't take it off?" he answers with a question. I try my best to calm down and explain.

"I told the witch I tried before, and she told me it was because the only way to remove it was magic," I say. I thought the conclusion would be pretty much self-explanatory, but it seems Fai has decided to play dumb. He doesn't respond, and seems to be waiting for me to continue. I sigh.

"You're a magician," I point out.

"You could say that," he agrees, nodding his head.

"You can use magic," I try again.

"Undoubtedly."

"So, you'll take it off?" I ask hopefully.

"No," he answers simply. He lifts up his hands in a gesture of peace and shakes his head apologetically under my scowl. "I said I _could _use magic. Which doesn't mean I _do_," he explains.

"You couldn't make a little exception?" I plead. "Pretty, _pretty _please?"

"No. Sorry," This time, it's final. I look away and bite my thumb harder. I don't like this. Who does he think he is, anyway, refusing like that? I know he can do it. He could, if he wanted to. But of course, he doesn't. What kind of personal promise is so damn important? I'm so pissed off at Fai that I don't even react when Mokona comes and cuddles against my collar. Dammit, I had almost forgotten about the little guy…

"Is Aisha upset?" he asks in a small voice.

"Uh-huh," I answers without even a glance in his direction.

"Is it because of Fai?" Mokona asks again.

"Mostly," I admit. Across from me, Fai looks betrayed, but still in a playful way. I mean, it's him.

"And I who thought…" the mage starts.

"Oh, shut it!" I cut him off. Visibly irked by my yelling, Mokona presses himself closer. I gently place my hand on his warm body to steady him. For some reason, simply touching the soft fur of the little fellah calms me down also. I guess… maybe… maybe Fai has a good reason to refuse? I mean, who am I to judge his decisions? I don't even know why he won't use his magic. I guess… I shouldn't be too hard on him. Damn it, that fur ball put a curse on me! Though, try as I may, I can't be as pissed off as before. With a defeated groan and a soft smile for Mokona, I turn towards Fai.

"Fine," I say, "I forgive you."

"For…give me?" At first, the information doesn't seem to process. He plays uncertainly with the words, as if trying to see how they fit on his tongue. And for a second, the total vulnerability I once caught a glimpse of in Koryo reappears. Once again, he makes me think more of a child than of a grown man. And again, I feel the urge to lean towards him and comfort him, tell him everything will be alright. But I stop myself. He is a grown man, after all. And little more than a stranger. I have no right to comfort him.

Things were different in Koryo; we were strangers, yes, but strangers sure of their fate and, though we would never admit it, scared half to death. That's why I grabbed his hand, I try to convince myself. As much to comfort him as to comfort myself. That must also be the reason he hugged me, I realize. He was simply looking for the relief of another body against his. This deduction, however, instead of easing my questions on the matter simply gives me a mixed feeling of sadness and relief. That was the only reason, I think. There was no secret agenda; there were no feelings involved. And yet, I can't feel happy about it. Just like I found I could not stay mad at Fai, I could not feel happy about the fact that I left him indifferent. It's strange, really. I look back at the wizard. He still looks a bit puzzled, but the moment wears off, and his frown is replaced by the brightest smile I have ever seen on that face.

"Thanks," he answers. I don't even bother telling him that 'I forgive you' is usually not responded to, and I smile back. A feeling of pride overcomes me when I realize I was the one to make him smile like that. A real smile.

"Well, I guess if I've lived seventeen years without those memories, I can live until I find another way to take it off, right?" I say. Fai nods, but doesn't say anything for a while.

"I really am sorry," he finally says.

"I told you I forgave you, so let it go already," I protest. He smiles softly and looks into the fireplace. His eyes glaze over again.

"…really are just like him…" I make out. This time, I let him be with his daydream. All my questions are answered, anyway. Mokona, who had been nestling against my neck all this time, finally gets up on his little paws and whispers in my ear:

"Is Aisha still upset?"

"No, thanks to you!" I whisper back. "What was that anyway? As soon as I touched you I just… calmed down."

"It's one of Mokona's 108 secret abilities!" the fur ball exclaims, visibly proud of himself. "Making People Happy!"

"If you weren't so darn cute I would kill you for messing up with my mind," I threaten, just for the hell of it. Mokona chuckles and jumps on my lap, right on the pages of the open book that still lies there. I turn the page, forcing him to jump back on my shoulder.

"Aisha's being mean!" he whines. I playfully pat him on the head.

"Who would you rather, me or Kurogane?"

"Aisha's nicer," the fur ball admits, "but Kurogane's more fun!" We both laugh, making fun of Kurogane for a few minutes. Then Mokona cuddles against me, his warm body pressed firmly against my shoulder.

"Mokona's getting sleepy," he says. As if to prove his point, he yawns noisily. Almost instantly his body goes limp and he falls asleep. I poke him lightly. Nothing happens. I can't help but smile and gently place my hand on him to keep him from falling. I don't dare disturb Fai, who is still alone with his thoughts, so I thumb slowly through my book. The symbols don't make more sense than before, but the various illustrations of leafs and flowers make me guess it's some sort of gardening manual. I let my finger slowly brush against the leather of the cover.

For some reason, the silence bugs me. Even though I can distinctly feel Mokona's body against mine and Fai's presence nearby, the same anxiety I felt when I was alone resurfaces. That strange power… the voice… it's almost as though they're back, right behind me. I know it's silly, but the silence scares me. It scares me so much, I desperately long for noise, a voice, or some sort of distraction.

"Fai?" I call out nervously, my voice cracking. "Can I ask you something?" The mage quickly whips his head in my direction, as though he had been waiting for my signal to start the conversation again.

"Mh?" he answers. "What's wrong?" I must be looking pale or something, because after getting a look at me Fai puts on a worried face. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I quickly assure him. God, what am I going to say? I didn't think before talking to him, so now I have to make something up – and fast.

"What'll happen if… you know… I find a way of taking it off?" I ask. Fai tilts his head pensively to the side.

"Well…" he begins, "I can't say for sure, but I think it would most likely cause some sort of trauma – you might fall unconscious, for example."

"Like Sakura," I say, trying to understand.

"Precisely. But you might also experience sickness, dizziness, nausea, migraines, and that could go on for up to several days. It's not easy getting an amount of power as large as yours suddenly rushed into your body," he explains, giving me a reassuring smile. "But I seriously doubt it will be permanent. And when it's over, you should be as good as new."

"And I'll just wake up and remember everything?" I ask. Fai nods.

"It's a bit more complicated than that, but yes. At least, that's what should happen," he adds after a moment's thought.

"It might be different?" I ask, starting to be apprehensive. Just falling unconscious doesn't seem so bad, but if something really bad might happen, I might be tempted to stay this way…

"There's always the off chance that things go wrong and you're scarred for life, but I cannot emphasize enough how small that chance is."

"Wo-What? Scarred for life? What is that supposed to mean?" I ask, a bit panicked. But Fai just gives me an enigmatic smile and turns away. I stay there, pale and a bit freaked out. I decide it's time to talk again when I start to hyperventilate. If he won't answer my question, he'll at least not let me there to panic.

"So…" I stall. I bring my legs up on the sofa and wrap my arms around them. "Why?" My question is pretty vague, and I'm kind of hoping he'll think of something to talk about for me. But at my words, Fai bows his head in an expression of defeat. I stare, puzzled. What did I say?

"I'm sorry," he finally says. "It's not because I don't want to help you, really, it's just…"

"I already told you to forget about that!" I say. Sheesh, men and their one-tracked minds…

"What were you talking about, then?"

"Um… magic," I make up hurriedly. "Why don't you use it?" Fai looks at me with a puzzled expression.

"I said it before, didn't I? The Dimensions Witch took…"

"Something that limited your powers, I know that. What I meant is, why did you say you wouldn't use magic without it? And yes, I did listen to some parts of the conversation with the witch," I say to his surprised look. But to my dismay, he doesn't answer. Well, not in those terms.

"It's just a promise I made to somebody," he says matter-of-factly. Oh yeah, very helpful.

"Who?" I try. Maybe something'll slip out if I drive him a bit away from the direct subject.

"Someone very important to me," he answers simply. Seriously, more tight-lipped and you die!

"A friend? Girlfriend? Family?" Maybe if I give him options it'll be easier for him to answer.

"Yes." Oh, come on! What kind of an answer is that?

"Which one?" I precise. Fai looks up to me with a sheepish smile.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not quite sure what a 'girlfriend' is," he admits. My jaw drops.

"On what kind of distant planet did you live?" I ask, bewildered. Fai laughs a little at my expression.

"My world is called Celes," he says. "It's mostly covered in snow and ice, and it actually was _not _that far from other countries."

"Then how can you guys not have boyfriends and girlfriends?"

"Well, we had friends who were both male and female, if that's what you're asking."

"No," I shake my head in disbelief. "Not that kind of girl friend. You know, _dating _and that sort of stuff?"

"Dating?" he asks. Sigh. This conversation is frustrating beyond belief, but at least my goal is reached. The room doesn't feel as scary when I talk to Fai. I fleetingly wonder if it's simply the act of communicating, or if it's the fact that I'm talking to Fai, in particular. No, I convince myself. It could have been anybody there. I just wanted to break the silence.

"Dating," I try to explain, "is when you go out with someone. You go and eat out, or to the movies, or you just hang out and talk."

"And the people you are… dating… with, are called boyfriends and girlfriends?"

"Well, you usually only date one person at a time, and it's usually with a member of the opposite sex."

"So you can only go out in couples?" Fai asks.

"Yup."

"But can the couples change?" he asks innocently. I'm a bit surprised he's so interested in this.

"Of course," I answer, "but you're better off breaking up with the person first. If you don't, then you're a womanizer and I will hate you," I finish off with a quick glare. For some reason, Fai seems to find it amusing.

"Have you ever been on a date with a… womanizer, as you call it?" he asks in a playful tone.

"No," I answer fiercely, "But we girls stand together." Another laugh from Fai.

"Well, I can assure you for sure that the person I made my promise to wasn't my girlfriend," he concludes, shaking his head in hilarity.

"So, was it a friend?" I ask.

"No."

"A family member?"

"No."

"Your worst enemy?"

"Definitely not."

"Then who?"

"Someone," is his answer. He gives me a sideways glance, just to see if I buy it or not, but quickly retreats when he sees my scorn.

"Seriously," I say, "didn't you have anybody back there? What, you were a hermit of some sort? Is that it?"

"Not at all."

"So you didn't know anybody, is that it? You didn't have any friends? Mom, dad, brother, sister…?" I think I see him twitch lightly at the word 'brother', but I shrug it off and continue. "Dog, cat, fish? Kuda-…" I stop myself, remembering I'm not in Hanshin anymore, and that people here have no such things. I nervously bite my thumb again, remembering my own kudan, the way her wings spread gracefully at the slightest wind, or how a soft light would always surround her wherever she was. And how it's strange now, seeing the people like before, but without a single trace of a kudan anywhere.

"Well, how about you? Did you have any friends and family in Hanshin?" Fai asks. I look at him strangely. Was that just a feeble attempt not to answer my question? Well, I guess I should play along if he really doesn't want to talk about it…

"You already know about the twins," I count on my fingers, "then there's my mom, obviously, and Etsuko and Kento, Ren, Kaede, Shinju… Mr. Sohma's the owner of the corner store, and he was my boss for a while until he had to fire me: they had money problems… Sorata-sensei is my history teacher, and trust me, there's something wrong with him… everybody loves him though. Etsuko's mom is really cool, she'd always let us come to her place when we had nothing else to do, even when there was nobody home; Shinju's mom was the worst though, she thought we were just a bunch of hoodlums and once, she literally chased Kento out with a straitening iron," the memory burns in my head. Kento… No, I can't… cry. I take a deep breath and try my best to continue. "He… he got a bit burnt in the process, but nothing bad. He made up this story about fighting off a guy with a fire kudan, but he never got a chance to tell it, cause we… we…" Don't cry, dammit! Too late. My shoulders start shaking in tearless sobs.

"You don't have to…" Fai starts, but I lift my hand to cut him off. This might be hard, but if I can't be strong enough to talk about them, I'll never survive the journey home without breaking completely.

"Dammit," I mutter, "It'd be so much easier if I could just show you…" But I can show him, I remember. My hand slips again to the small bump hidden in my boot. I swallow. I really wonder if this'll work… Slowly, deliberately, I slip my wallet out of my boot. I stare at it for a second, unable to decide whether or not to open it. Then, taking a deep breath, I violently open the small leather case. I still can't see the pictures, since they're neatly folded in the pocket usually used for _koko_bills, but just this little step means a lot. Beside me, Fai stays silent for a change. I softly stroke Mokona's fur, hoping it'll have the same calming effect as previously, but the little guy's asleep and can't work his magic.

"Heh," I say, partly to myself. "I'm not even sure they'll show up…"

"Show up where?" Fai asks, but instead of answering I pull out the pictures and unfold them slowly. I look at them. A sigh of relief escapes my lips, just as tears are starting to pool in my eyes as I stare at the first picture.

"Are those your siblings?" Fai asks.

"Yeah," I whisper softly. They're still there, just like they always were. The picture shows the twins, seated on our front porch and smiling at the camera. Both Hisho and Hinata are wearing the same shirt - they're school's official sports jersey. It was just after a sports meet, and we were celebrating the twins' team's victory.

"They look alike," Fai notices.

"Not that much," I argue. It's true that they both have dark hair, but whereas Hisho's is short and relatively straight, Hinata's is an uncombable curly mass. Their eyes aren't the same color either; while Hinata is peering at the camera with her hazel eyes, Hisho's eyes are of a blue so pale you could swear he can ice you over with one glance.

"What are those?" Fai asks, pointing at something on Hisho's shoulder. I push his finger away so that I can see what he means.

"Oh, that? That's just their kudans," I answer.

"They're tiny!" Fai says, a bit surprised.

"Yeah, but they're vicious. Unless you want your eyes poked out, I wouldn't make the twins angry," I warn him with a chuckle that threatens to turn into a sob. The kudans in question are a pair of little tropical birds, one blue and one red. Other than the color, they are absolutely identical. On this picture the red one is perched on Hinata's shoulder and the blue one on Hisho's, though we could never quite figure out which kudan belongs to which twin. They always appear at the same time, disappear at the same time, and none seems to show a particular affinity with either twin.

"You miss them, don't you," Fai says. It's not a question. He's simply stating a fact. I nod violently. It's not only the fact that I miss them. It's the fact that I'll never get to talk to them, or play with them again. I'll never get another chance at being their sister.

"It's weird, having two twins living with you," I start. It seems the only way to keep me from weeping hopelessly is to blabber on about random things. "It's almost like they can read each other's minds sometimes. Once, Hinata broke her arm when she fell off her bike, and Hisho came bawling to me, saying that something was wrong with her, though she didn't even think it was that bad. Hisho's always been the sensitive one. He'd never admit it now, but just a nightmare of getting chased was enough to scare him of going to sleep for days. And when he was little, every time he got a scratch, you had to kiss it better, then put a band-aid on it. Every tiny scratch! Hinata was the total opposite – when it came to that, I mean. She would never admit it when she was hurt, or when something was wrong. She was also the rebellious one – she would argue almost everything I said, just for the hell of it. But then they'd both act exactly the same way all of a sudden, and everybody was all surprised. Sometimes they'd even finish each other's sentences – it was creepy. Except sometimes they got it wrong – that was hilarious!" I stop a second to catch my breath.

Fai doesn't say anything. Instead, he gently guides my fingers and uncovers the next picture. This one is of me and my friends – I remember perfectly the day it was taken. It was the day of my sixteenth birthday: all my friends had gathered and we had spent the day together. Mom stayed sober that day also, so she could stay with the twins while I went out. One of the reasons I remember this day was because it was the day I had gotten my nose pierced. It was my present from Kaede and Ren – they knew I had wanted one for some time.

We went to movies, and the mall, and out to lunch and all that. Then the girls and I went to Etsuko's place for a sleepover, since I was a bit embarrassed to bring them to my place. Kento was nice; he disappeared for the night, though it was his house too. We never figured out where he spent the night, but I suspect he went to Shinju's and got thrown out in the morning by his mom, because Shinju couldn't stop laughing hysterically at the sight of him for a week. Sometimes I think that woman doesn't get the fact that her son's part of a gang too; she seems to think Shinju's too good to hang out with any of us. Anyway, this picture was taken by Etsuko's mom when we were arriving home. None of us were expecting it, so we're not smiling, or even looking at the camera. But nevertheless, I always liked that picture. It's natural, like we are most of the time, not like those posed pictures that look too perfect to be true.

"Those are my friends," I explain. "The one on the far left is Shinju; he's really cool. He's gay, which makes him even cooler; he never told anyone but us though. His parents would have a heart attack if they knew." It's a pity he is, I think to myself. He's really sweet, and pretty good-looking; there's tons of girls out there who are looking for a guy like that. "And right next to him, the girl who's dazing off into the distance? That's Kaede," I continue. "She looks a bit spazy, but she notices _everything_. It's crazy." She was the first one to notice- well, something. I don't really want to talk about it right now. "In the lower right corner, that's Ren. She's the smart one. God, it's like she knows everything. She's the pretty one too." Ren is the only one looking directly at the camera.

Her brown eyes are a bit wide, since she didn't expect to see Etsuko's mom waving a camera in our direction, but her face still looks like it always does – graceful and elegant, almost as though she's superior to us normal mortals. She was cool though, and didn't think one second that she was better than us. It's weird, now that I look at her again; she makes me think of a younger, more expressive version of the Dimensions Witch. I shiver involuntarily. I can't believe one of my best friends looks so much like a woman I hate! "Then there's Etsuko, right behind her. Kento and her have been my neighbors for as long as I can remember. They're practically the twin's and my second family. She's like my sister from another mother." Etsuko and me. Me and Etsuko. One was seldom seen without the other. We thought the same and acted the same. We never fought. We were always there for one another. Our friendship was easy, like breathing in and out. "And then there's Kento. He's Etsuko's cousin, but they've been raised like brother and sister ever since they were babies. It's because Kento's mom went to live with her sister when she and her husband divorced, and they've been living together ever since."

Ah, Kento. That's where things get complicated. Whereas my friendship with Etsuko is as easy as breathing, the one with Kento has gotten more and more complicated with the years. We started off as friends; I was very shy when I was younger, and he helped me get out of my shell. He was almost like my bodyguard at one point, never wanting to let me out of his sight. Then our friendship turned into something more. He wasn't just my friend who lived next door; he was like a brother to me. The same went for Etsuko.

We were the most tight-knit family on the block – and that wasn't saying much, if you'd know my neighborhood. He's the one who taught me how to throw a punch; he's the one that let me into his gang. It took a little persuading on my part, but still. A lot of people made fun of him for that at the time. But then, when I turned fourteen, I noticed that I wanted something more from him. I wasn't satisfied with being 'like a little sister' to him. And that's when things started to get very complicated. But enough of that for now.

The other pictures were all of my friends, or the twins, or both. The twins and Kento on his motorcycle – God, I was terrified. I thought they were going to get killed or something! Then there's Shinju, Ren and Kaede eating okonomiyaki at a little restaurant on our street – Ren is the only one who's not covered in noodles and vegetables. Really, you'd think they'd have better table manners at their age, but we love them all the same! And the last picture is…

"Hyuu~! That one's pretty!" Fai exclaims over the picture I just uncovered. I feel myself blush from head to toe because… I'm the only one in that picture.

"Why do you look like you have wings?" Fai asks curiously. Oh right, I do. Kento took that picture one afternoon when we had nothing else to do. We were having fun taking pictures of random things – the sidewalk, my porch, the back of Etsuko's head – when he suggested that we try and put something together with our kudans. In this particular picture my kudan is behind me, spreading out her wings so that they look like they're coming out of my own back. You really can't see her at all, so it really looks like I do have wings. Kento called this picture 'The angel' and gave it to me.

"You really look pretty on there," Fai says. "Why don't you smile like that when you're with us?" I blush even harder.

"Cause," I answer, "I'm not like you." My eyes widen and I hurriedly cover my mouth with my hand. Why did I say that? Why can't I keep my f***in' mouth shut?

"Not like me?" Fai looks genuinely puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"Never mind. I never wanted to say that," I answer.

"Why don't you think you're like me?" he insists.

"I don't smile when I don't feel like it." A heavy silence falls on the room. I bite my lips and stuff the pictures back in my boot before getting up. I carefully cradle Mokona in my arms so he doesn't fall and start walking.

"I'm sorry," I mutter as I make my way towards the stairs. Really, can't I just stop being a klutz and be cool once in a while? Suddenly, a hand grabs the hem of my skirt and pulls me back.

"It's okay," I hear Fai's voice say to me. "You don't have to leave." I turn around and stare at him. He doesn't look the least bit insulted. In fact, he's already gesturing for me to sit back on the sofa. With a sigh, I sit back, refusing to look at him in the eyes.

"I shouldn't have said that," I apologize. It's none of my business anyway. He doesn't ask when I cry, I shouldn't ask when he smiles. He must have his reasons.

"Said what?" he says innocently. I turn to look at him.

"Really, I'd like it if you'd stop doing that," I say. I mean, it's not like he has to cover up for every blunder I make. That's just being too nice for someone like me. Again refusing to look at him, I carefully replace my dress to cover my ankles. It's annoying, but it just looks too awkward otherwise.

"You really don't like the clothing here?" Fai asks out of the blue. I give him a sideways glance, but decide to answer anyway.

"Do you like them?" I say. If he wants to answer all my questions with a question, then I can play this game too.

"I don't really mind them," is his answer. "They're not that different than the ones from my country." I grimace. I would _not _like to live in his country.

"The guys' clothes are fine," I say, "but the women's clothing is just too much. I mean, look at me! All I need is a pumpkin and a glass slipper and I'm ready to go the ball!"

"A what?" Fai asks. His eyebrows knit in incomprehension. "What's a pumpkin?"

"It's a vegetable," I answer, quick to catch on to my blunder. "It's big and round and orange, and many people eat it in other countries in my world."

"And you bring them to parties?" he asks again. Now it's my turn to be confused. Why would he… oh, right. They don't have Cinderella in Celes.

"It's just in a fairytale," I explain. "This girl is being raised by her evil stepmother and ugly stepsisters, and they won't let her go to the big ball the prince is throwing. But then this Fairy Godmother shows up and gives her a beautiful dress with glass slippers, and turns a pumpkin into a carriage so that she can go to the ball. Except that there's a catch; she needs to be back by the twelfth stroke of midnight, or all of it will disappear. So she goes to the ball, meets the prince, falls in love, but forgets about the time and when the clock starts to strike, she runs off in a panic. The prince runs after her, but he can't catch up and all he finds is a tiny glass slipper that she dropped in her hurry. Sure enough, he fell in love with her too, and the next morning he decides that the girl whose foot will fit in the slipper will be his wife. He goes through all the girls in the kingdom, but none of them fit until he gets to Cinderella's house. Of course her foot fits perfectly, and besides, she has the other slipper to make the pair. So he finds out that this poor servant girl was the one he fell in love with all along, and he marries her. And they lived happily ever after."

"That's a nice story," Fai says. "Do all your fairytales have happy endings or is it just that one?" A bit of a weird question, I think, but I answer nonetheless:

"All fairytales have a happy ending. It's almost like a rule, really."

"Um? Well, that's strange," Fai says. I perk up.

"How is it strange?" I ask. Maybe he's been raised differently, but all the fairytales I know end with 'they lived happily ever after'.

"The fairytales in my country are meant to warn and scare little children; most of them end tragically enough. I'm glad to see not all cultures think that way," Fai answers. He gives me a small smile, nothing to compare to the bright grins he usually gives everybody.

"What do you mean, 'they end tragically'?" I ask. Try as I may, I just can't imagine Snow White staying in her glass coffin forever, or the prince never getting through the forest of thorns to kiss his Sleeping Beauty.

"Would you like me to give you an example?" he offers. I hesitate before agreeing. There's just something in his eyes at that moment… something that scares me a little. Like he's offering to tell me something much more important than just a fairytale.

" 'Kay," I finally agree. As I do so, Fai's expression becomes distant, almost empty. He leans back onto his chair and clears his throat. Then he starts. His voice rises, clear and informal through the room.

"There came a time, in the kingdom of Valeria, when the wife of the younger emperor brother had to carry children. This was great joy for the kingdom, for many years had passed and her womb had remained empty. Finally, the country would have a new prince. Even the older emperor rejoiced at the news." The fire seems to suddenly grow and shadows dance across his figure as he talks, carrying a bad omen. "The night came when the prince was to be born. It was a snowy winter night, cold and harsh, that would welcome the newborn prince to the world. But harsher still was the news that swept across the country that night: not only one prince was born, but two. The queen had given birth to twins." He pauses then, as if to let the dramatic impact of his words sink in.

When he opened his mouth again, his voice was raspy and shaking; it was barely a whisper. "Twins of misfortune." There is a long pause after this. I hug my legs tighter and press Mokona against my shoulder protectively. The fire reflecting into Fai's eyes causes a chill to run up my back. "Of course," Fai continues, "this caused great grief to the kingdom. The younger emperor brother passed away from sudden illness soon after the twins' births. The crops didn't grow any longer. The water became impure and caused many deaths among the people. The country was being led to ruin. Even the queen, the twins' mother, took her own life out of grief of giving birth to them. However, the emperor knew that if the twins were to be killed, the country's fate would be even worst. So the twins were brought to him, were he would decide their fate. He knew he could not allow them to live in Valeria any longer, and that simply waiting for the twins to perish of natural causes would be in vain; the twins had magical powers potentially greater than the emperor's own, and those same powers wouldn't allow them to die at a tender age. 'Only if the twins are unhappy,' he said, 'only then will the country prosper.' It was of no doubt to him that the twins carried a curse; a curse that had to be met with the same force that drove it. So he decided to place the twins in a valley, one where time flew differently and magic did not exist.

"The twins would be imprisoned in a tower: one in the above, one in the below. The valley in which the tower was located was a dumping place for the sinners of Valeria. There, time did not pass as it usually did; the sinners' bodies never rotted, never decayed. In that environment, the twins would not perish of hunger or thirst. They would simply exist, unable to escape, until the world's destruction. And so it was done. The princes were imprisoned in the tower, one in the topmost cell and the other in a pit at its base, where the sinners were thrown. They attempted escape many times, unsuccessfully. Then one day, the twin at the bottom of the tower noticed that more bodies than usual were thrown in. These bodies no longer had the appearance of criminals and sinners; some were even little children. The emperor was the cause of this. He had gone mad, killing off innocent citizens as he pleased. All of this, because twins of misfortune had been born to the country. All of this… because they were alive. Just by living… just by being born together as one… they had caused the ruin of a country. One day the emperor himself fell into the pit and ended his own life. The twins were the only ones left in all of Valeria. Cursed and lonely, forced to live in the shadow of that sin… Unable to even go to one another for comfort.

"One snowy evening, much like the one that saw the twins to this world, a strange voice called out to one of the twins, the one at the base of the tower. Unable to distinguish dream from reality anymore, the twin did not pay any attention to it… until the voice asked a question:  
'Do you want to leave this place?'  
Barely believing it, the twin answered 'Yes.'  
'Only one of you may leave,' the voice cautioned. 'You must choose… you or the other.'  
He did not know how to answer. He did not want to leave without his twin, but then again… he wanted… to leave so bad… So it was decided, even without his knowledge. His twin fell from the top of the tower at that very instant. Slowly, it seemed, he fell. But all too quickly he hit the ground, ending his life in a heartbeat. And so the boy, no longer a twin, had ended his brother's life because of his own selfishness. So the curse was fulfilled. The curse… of the Twins of Misfortune." Fai fell silent, captured in his own thoughts.

Slowly, I unwound my muscles, stretching my limbs one by one. I realize with a bit of embarrassment that I had been clutching my own legs in stress. Mokona still comfortably nested on my shoulder, I turn towards Fai. I can't even begin to describe my feelings. I can't even begin to speak of my thoughts. Just because they were twins… just because they were born… The fleeting image of my own twins at home crosses my mind, and I muffle a sob. Calm down, calm down, I tell myself. It's only a story. None of it really happened. None of it is real. I look back up to Fai. I find, to my surprise, that he had been watching me all this time. Carefully, I peer into his eyes. In it is the same sadness as before, but… I recoil involuntarily. There is more in those eyes than sadness. Pain, grief, of course, but also something else. Death. There is death written all over those blue eyes. Like that boy in the fairytale, the one who was no longer a twin. Part of him must have died then also. Fai's gaze does not loosen, and I force myself to open my mouth and say something, but what? I don't know what to say, but I have a feeling that if I don't talk now, Fai won't resurface. I don't understand why, but it's like he's just… gone.

"That's horrible," I finally manage to utter. Fai blinks once, twice. I shoot him a worried glance. Is he…

"Wasn't it?" I almost jump at the sound of his voice. He seems to be back now, flashing a smile at me, but I can tell it's not real.

"I… well, yeah," I say. "What kind of people lock kids in a tower for eternity? The people in your country are messed up just for writing that story!" Fai seems slightly taken aback by my comment.

"You… think it was horrible that they were locked up?" he asks hesitantly. I nod, shooting him a 'Duh, what do you think?' glance.

"I mean, they didn't do anything wrong," I argue. "If you lock people up just for being twins, then there's something wrong with you to begin with. No wonder the emperor went crazy! He already was, that's the problem!" Fai knits his eyebrows, as though not understanding what I'm saying.

"You don't think that they deserved to be punished? Especially the last one, the one who betrayed…"

"Fai," I interrupt him, "do you honestly think that it was right to make them suffer like that? You never thought that maybe the twin upstairs could have just been tired of all that and wanted to die, so he just jumped? And besides, I'm not going to argue with you about a fairytale," I conclude. Fai smiles sadly, looking at the floor.

"Yeah," he says, "just a fairytale…" At this point, I can't take it any longer. I grab his hand and run my thumb on the back of it. I fall effortlessly in the familiar motion, and he does nothing to stop me. There is no longer a man sitting before me, but a child all over again. Without thinking, I start humming a song. It's an old lullaby, one that I would sing to the twins when they were younger. My mom would sing it to me before that, but then, that was before…

"You have a nice voice," Fai says softly. I stop singing instantly. He looks up to me, peering up from under his eyebrows. I stare back for a moment, unable to move. Then my muscles react, and he is no longer a boy but a man, and I am a teenage girl. I throw myself back.

"S-sorry about that…" I mutter, trying to calm down my breathing. Fai gives me a small chuckle.

"It's getting late," he changes the subject. "We should probably be on our way upstairs."

"Umm… sure," I agree. I grab Mokona and gently cradle him as I get up. "Are you coming?"

"Of course," he says, and he follows me up the stairs. I stop for a second, hesitating to open the door to my room. Fai stops behind me, peering from behind my shoulder.

"Is something wrong?" he asks.

"No," I answer. "Everything's fine."

"Well then," he says, and opens the door for me, "sleep well." I take a step inside the room, before turning around to face him.

"Fai…?" I ask hesitantly. I don't even know why I want to ask this, but… "What happened to the other twin? The one who survived?" Fai doesn't look at me as he answers:

"He was cursed and sent to another world." There's a long pause as we both stand there, none of us daring to move. Then Fai speaks again, and his voice is cold and indifferent as he says it.

"Good night, Aisha-san." And he practically slaps the door in my face, forcing me to back away quickly. I bite my lip. I visibly upset him, though I'm not too sure what I said.

"Good night," I whisper to no one in particular. I then slowly walk up to my bed, clear it of my things and lie down over the covers. I think fleetingly of that strange power that appeared and disappeared so mysteriously before. I shake involuntarily, but it isn't from the cold. I clutch Mokona next to my heart and fall asleep, listening to Sakura's rhythmic breathing and dreaming… Dreaming of a strange boy with blond hair and blue eyes, reaching hopelessly for a freedom he just can't grasp…

On the other side of the door the man stands, his hand still grasping the handle. A tearless sob violently pierces through his body. Unable to move, he presses his forehead against the cool wood. In his head, the same question plays again and again like a broken record:

Why did he tell her? Why? _Why?_


	14. The Investigation Begins

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TRC!!!!

__________________________________________________________________

The very first thing I did as I woke up this morning was to roll out from under the covers and check under my bed, to see if Mom found the beer bottles I hid from her until I could get rid of them. I stared for a moment at the empty space under my bed, cursing myself aloud for not giving more thought to my hiding place, until a loud snore from Mokona brought me back to reality. I chuckled joylessly, remembering that I was not home, and that nothing could stop my mom from finding my stash if she wanted to. The second thing I did was to leave Sakura to her peaceful slumber and make my way downstairs for some breakfast. Nobody seems to be awake but me, so I whipped myself some buttered toast and ate. I tried very hard not to think of the end of my conversation with Fai last night but now, staring out the common room's window to a barren white countryside, it seems like the only thing I can think of. Why was he so upset? What did I say? Was it something I said to begin with? As I stand here lost in my thoughts, I sense a presence creep up behind me. Without thinking, I quickly spin around to face whoever it is that won't announce himself. Doctor Kyle's smiling face greets me.

"I see you're awake," he says. "Have you slept well?"

"Frankly, not that well," I answer politely. "It has nothing to do with the rooms," I reassure the doctor, "I just went to bed pretty late, and then I was woken up by Sakura-chan because she had a nightmare…" I pat the only reminder of the incident, a medium-sized bump on my head, for emphasis. Sakura woke me up only a half-hour after I had fallen asleep with a loud 'Oh my Gosh!' I pretty much panicked and fell out of bed – hence the bump. Sakura was looking out the window, eyes wide and breath short, searching frantically for something I couldn't see. I asked her what was wrong and – wait 'till you hear this – she said she saw the Golden-haired princess from the legend! Creepy, right? Anyway, it was obviously a nightmare – I mean, the princess is just an old legend. She couldn't be wandering the streets of Spirit at night. And I don't believe in ghosts, so that's out of the question. Sakura seemed to think it was a dream too, because she went to bed shortly after without protesting.

"I couldn't fall asleep after that," I conclude. Kyle's eyes narrow suspiciously and he gets a good look at me.

"Have you been having problems sleeping lately?" he asks. I shake my head.

"Not really. It's just, there's been a… collection of compromising circumstances?" I try. Day 1: stressed out like you can't believe. Day 2: Kept rolling on my burnt arm. Day 3: Frustrating conversation with a wizard and got woken up by a princess. I can't believe it's only been three days! That means that just two days ago, I was getting rained on by acid. And that just four days ago, I never thought something like this would happen…

"Are you sure?" the doctor insists. I nod.

"Completely sure."

"You haven't been experiencing unusual stress or fatigue?"

"You have no idea," I answer. Before Kyle can say anything, I cut him off. "It's perfectly normal, there's nothing I can do about it and before you ask, it's personal." The doctor smiles faintly.

"It seems you've been through this type of interrogation before," he notices. I shrug.

"I haven't, but I've seen it on TV a few times. My mom likes to watch soaps, so there's a lot of mental breakdowns," I explain. Kyle tilts his head slightly to the side, a puzzled expression on his face.

"I'm sorry, but I can't say that I understand…" he starts. He is interrupted by a tortured cry coming from outside:

"MY CHILD!"

Fearing the worst, yet already knowing what happened, I dash outside without looking at the doctor. I have to gather my skirts in one hand to be able to move freely. It snowed last night, I notice – the village is entirely covered in white snow. But I am quick to turn my attention back to the town square, where there seems to be a gathering. Hysterical cries are coming from its center. I run past the swarm of shocked villagers, slaloming between them to the middle of the circle. There stands the leader of the gunmen, supporting a crying woman, whom I recognize as being the mother who slammed the door in our faces yesterday. My hand muffles a gasp. It couldn't be… that little girl with the cat…?

"My child! She's gone!" the woman screams. Her shoulders start shaking and she buries her face in her hands. I see Syaoran and the others arrive next to me. Fai is there, but I don't look at him. Sakura seems particularly shaken; both of her hands are covering her mouth, and I can see her trembling slightly. She must be remembering her dream last night…

"I remember locking the door!" the woman wails desperately.

"Has the lock been forced open?" the gunman asks, unable to contain his frenzy.

"It was opened from the inside!" the woman answers. "I told her not to open the door. She wouldn't have opened it!" Her voice becomes barely a whisper as she continues: "It must be true then. The Golden-haired princess…" I hear Sakura gasp beside me.

"It wasn't a dream then?" she says it as I think it. Could it really be that… no. No, it's just an old fairytale…

"What did you say?" the gunman yells in our direction. He glares menacingly at Sakura. Syaoran places himself protectively in front of her, and I put my arm around her shoulders, returning the glare.

"Last night, in the snow," Sakura explains. "I saw a woman with golden hair, wearing a white dress. She walked by with black birds flying around her." At her words, the crowd goes wild. Everyone gasps, recoils in horror and screams. I can hear hysterical cries from all around us:

"It's the Golden-haired princess who kidnapped my child!"

"It's the princess from the Northern castle!"

"The princess's curse!"

"That's enough!" All those present turn towards the origin of that last voice. It's that Mr. Glossam again, looking down on everybody like he owns the place. Oh wait, he does. Whatever, I still don't like him.

"Is there a child missing again?" I hear doctor Kyle panting as he runs towards us. I shoot him a confused glance. Wasn't he right behind me…? No, now that I think about it, he didn't leave the house when I did. Where was he? He sees my inquiring glance and shrugs apologetically in my direction. Well, that was very helpful… sarcasm intended.

"These people didn't leave the house last night?" Glossam demands, pointing towards us with his cane. I frown, insulted. His way of treating us like we can't even answer for ourselves is getting on my last nerve.

"For the convenience of emergency patients, my room is situated besides the entrance. I would know if someone would go out at night," Kyle defends us. Both men stare at each other, and their animosity is almost palpable. I just stand back and enjoy the show. At least if they start fighting, they'll be _some _sorts of entertainment. But neither of them seems to want to take the first step. I watch them a few seconds, decide they're not going to start anything, and start walking towards the inn. No point in standing here and waiting. The mayor suddenly pops his head from behind Glossam and seems to think the same thing.

"It's no use if we stay here!" he says. "Come! Let's start searching for the children!" The villagers slowly disperse across the town, supporting each other and some women meekly calling out names. The leader of the gunmen turns around a few seconds to pointedly glare at us. It's like he's convinced that we kidnapped the kids. I wait until he's not looking and stick my tongue out at his back, getting myself a disapproving glance from Kurogane. Well, at least it wasn't a glare. Glossam leaves as well, but not before giving us a warning glance. I almost stick my tongue out at him also, but Kurogane grabs my arm and pulls me back.

"Stop acting stupid," he tells me. I support his eyes, refusing to flinch.

"I'm not acting stupid," I reply. "I'm acting immature, but not stupid." The ninja sighs hopelessly.

"Come, let's go back," Doctor Kyle has now walked back towards us. "Breakfast is ready."

"Is it alright?" Fai asks. For a moment, I think he's finally turned into a mature adult, and that he genuinely cares about not disturbing our host. That is, until he opens his mouth again. "Kuro-pii and Raki seed have a very unique way of using forks and knives." He shoots us an amused glance. I have to say, I'm a bit surprised. With the way we parted last night, you'd think he'd be a bit colder in the morning. Instead, he's annoying me as though nothing ever happened. I scowl at his expression.

"Shut up! You can't even use chopsticks!" Kurogane replies harshly.

"And for your information," I add, "I already ate. That way, you won't get to make fun of my 'unique ways.'" I wait a few seconds before continuing, a fact having just hit me. "And WHAT did you call me?!?"

"Raki seed," he answers matter-of-factly.

"My hair is _not _RED!"

"Close enough," he shrugs.

"Is _this _close enough for you?" I yell, lunging for the wizard. My hand swings towards the man's head, turning to a fist at the very last second. Surprisingly enough, I miss. My knuckles barely skin Fai's cheek. Confused, I look at my hand, then at the grinning wizard, then at my hand again. My blow wasn't strong; it was just a playful sissy punch. But there's one thing I know about my punches, and that's that they're fast. Too fast for most people to see coming, let alone to dodge them. I glance curiously at Fai, but all I get as an answer is a smile and a shrug. I swear, if there's one more person that answers my silent questions like that, I will punch him. I really will. A hand grabs my arm from behind, pulling me towards the inn.

"Come on," Kurogane's gruff voice says near my ear. "If you just ignore him, maybe he'll go away." I smile and follow him without protesting, but still glance behind me to Fai's smiling face. I can't shake off the feeling that I uncovered something about him last night that maybe I shouldn't have. Or that maybe I'll regret later…

"And tonight, get some sleep," Kurogane continues, ignoring my thoughts. "You look horrible." I turn around to face him.

"Oh yeah, well look who didn't take a look at himself in the mirror this morning!" I reply.

"Are you insulting me?!"

"If you can't even figure that out by yourself, I don't know why I'm wasting my time…"

XxX

"You saw the Golden-haired princess?"

"I'm sorry. If only I went out to look…"

"It's my fault too. I told her it was a dream. I _still _think it was a dream."

"Seeing a woman in a white dress walking in the snow, of course no one would think it's real."

"That's what I said."

"But the villagers don't think that way…"

"To the people in Spirit, the legend is real."

"You mean it's historical fact?"

"In the book on the history of Jade, there is the following record: '300 years ago, there was a princess named Emeraude. One day, her parents passed away suddenly. Then, the children living in the town outside the castle walls started disappearing one by one.'"

"Does it say anything about what became of the children?"

"'As though they were dead, no one has returned ever since.'"

"That's a nice way of saying no one came back alive."

"I'd hardly call that 'nice.'"

"The castle is now in ruins. But what happened is too similar to what the history book said. It's no surprise that the villagers say that the legend had revived itself again…"

"Did any villagers see the Golden-haired princess?"

"No one. You are Sakura, correct? You are the first person who ever saw the princess. Mr. Glossam will start saying things again."

"Guess Sakura-chan is the first and only witness."

"May I have a look at that history book?"

"…well, only the mayor and Mr. Glossam have a copy…"

"Off to the mayor's house, then!"

XxX

I tighten my shawl around my shoulders as the cold makes itself omnipresent. I don't know why, but I can't fare with the cold as well as Syaoran and Sakura, though their country was much warmer than mine. And it's a desert, for God's sake!

"Is it just for hobby that you want to read about the history of this country?" Fai asks Syaoran. The boy shakes his head.

"That too, but I mostly want to confirm something," he answers. We're on our way to the mayor's house at this very moment, actually. Doctor Kyle was kind enough to direct us. I'm not sure how I feel about that man. He seemed nice at first, but there's just those little inconsistencies that I've noticed. Like for example, when the woman cried out that her child was missing this morning. He was right beside me, and yet it took him five minutes to get to the square! He can always play the 'I was busy' card with the others, but it's not going to work with me. And then, he's very polite to the others and doesn't ask personal questions about where they come from and how they got here; then he turns to me, and I feel like a bug under a microscope. He wants to know about my country, my life, my hobbies… he even questioned my belonging in the group! I've managed pretty well so far into lying about my origins and my relationship with the others; I just hope that no one will spoil it by trying to make up their own story. Oh well. I guess I can't do anything about it, so all I can do is fare with him until we leave. I have no doubt Syaoran will find an answer to this mystery. If Sakura's feather has anything to do with it, he'll work himself to death to get it. A startling cry makes me jump. But it's only one of those crows, perched on a tree nearby. I look at it for a second, until it flies away. Sakura said that the princess had black birds flying around her… I violently shake my head. And here I am, believing in all those ghosts' stories. I should get help. I'm ready to believe in many things if I have to travel with the others for a while, but ghosts aren't one of them. There can't be anything stranger than the spirits of people who've been dead for hundreds of years wandering the streets, right?

XxX

"Twenty-one children missing," the mayor sighs desperately, resting his forehead on his fists.

"And no clues?"

"Nothing. Even this time," the mayor answers Fai's question with growing anxiety. He looks up to us with a desperate expression: "Several years ago," he starts, "the weather became very unstable. Our harvest isn't as good as before. Not only that, the children have started disappearing even though the adults have warned them. Just like the legend, 300 years ago…"

"When did the children…" Syaoran starts as I exclaim, "How could someone…" We both look at each other a moment, until I chuckle and give him the right of way.

"When did they start disappearing?" Syaoran tries again, shooting me a side-glance to make sure I don't interrupt them again.

"About two months ago," the mayor answers. "One child went to pick berries and never came back. And then it's either one gone missing, or three children at the same time. The adults have already warned them many times not to follow strangers after dark. But there's nothing strange at all. The children just… vanish." The man sighs and looks away thoughtfully. The mayor, who had beforehand seemed overly stressed and almost comical, now simply strikes me as old and very tired. I bite my thumb nervously. If we can't get any more clues from him, I don't know where we'll find them. The old man reaches to a table beside him and picks up a book. He had obviously read it not long ago, given the fact he had not bothered to put it away. He hands it over in our direction.

"This is the book about the history of this country. It has the legend of Princess Emeraude recorded in details. I've read it many times, but couldn't find any clues about the present incident," he says. Fai takes the book thankfully and gives it to Syaoran. "Oh, and when you are finished with the book, please leave this place immediately," the mayor warns us. I feel his eyes stop on each of us, clearly evaluating our capacity of listening to his advice. Not surprisingly, he seems disappointed. With a sigh, he adds, "Before the inevitable happens."

XxX

"Thank you, but there are things we have to do," Syaoran had answered. We had silently left the house, and the mayor had done nothing to stop us. But I can't shake the feeling that there was something genuine in his warning; that if we were smart people, we'd listen to him. There's been countless times when things like that have happened; you don't listen to a clear warning, you fail, you end up loosing your kingdom or whatever it was that you were fighting for. How many famous people died that way?

Too bad I'm failing history. I might have actually listened to it if I'd had a few examples.

"Miss Kazumi, if you could please run to my house and get me my bag…" Doctor Kyle asks over his shoulder.

"Ah!… eh… I'll be right back!" I call back as I dash for the old inn. I'm helping the doctor with his round of patients. The others are gone to check out the emplacement of the castle. I would have gone with them, but that meant getting on a horse and, well… between that and helping here, I'd rather help here. Silver's not in a good mood today, to put it bluntly. Doctor Kyle was nice; he told me I could always help him with rounds if I didn't want to go. Thankfully, the doctor's bag is in plain sight on the kitchen table, so all I have to do is snatch it and run back. One of the villagers came up with a bad case of freezing, and the doctor forgot his bag at the inn. He's a bit forgetful, but that doesn't seem to affect his popularity with the townspeople; they practically adore him. Of course, as soon as I show up they turn away and pretend not to see me, but still. I can take indifference as well as I can take stares. None of _those _can get you in a hospital. Speaking of things that can get you into a hospital, the lead gunman has been trailing me all over town as though I was going to kidnap kids right in front of their eyes. Good thing I thought of carrying my whip around with me, though I'm a bit nervous about what would happen if everyone would find out. Right now it's carefully hidden under my skirts, looped around a short leather belt fastened around my leg like a holster. Oh well, if someone finds it I can always blame it on Kurogane. He's the one who told me to bring it along. Well, not in those words exactly….

"You better be careful," he had told me right before they left for the ruins. "I wouldn't stay vulnerable if I were you." Then, adding a quick glance to a group of men talking nearby, he leaned in and said the rest so low I could barely hear it. "If you kept that whip of yours, I wouldn't let it very far from me." Before I could ask anything, he had already propped himself on his horse and was following the others. It's kinda funny, really, the way he's so protective. I guess he has to be, if he's a ninja in his other country; I mean, he basically gets up in the morning and protects people.

"Ah, Miss Kazumi! Here you are!" Kyle greets me back with a smile. I smile back and hand him his bag.

"You might want to remember it next time. I won't always be there to run back and forth for you," I caution jokingly. I smile brightly, but as soon as the doctor turns his back to me to tend to his patient, the smile fades away. I still can't pinpoint the guy, and it's making me nervous. That, and the smile is coming back. I thought I had ditched that reflex long ago, but it turns out it comes back when I'm on the nerves. It doesn't mean I'm never really happy, or anything like that; it just means I hide it when I'm not. And as I said before, I was sure I had kicked the habit a while back. I hadn't done it for months! Okay, that's it, I'm pissed at myself. Suddenly, I feel a slight tug on my skirt. Looking down, I see a little boy staring at me with humongous brown eyes.

"Mis'sus," he says with a small lisp, "is't true that your f'iends are the ones who took 'lizbeth away?" There is nothing accusing in his tone. For a second, all I can do is stare back at his innocent face, genuinely asking me if I'm the reason his friend disappeared. Then I kneel next to him in the snow, so that I am almost at his height, and answer his question.

"No." For a straightforward question, give a straightforward answer. The boy seems content with it.

"Docto' Kyle said that you help us find 'lizbeth, and the other kids," he says.

"That's right," I answer. "We're going to find your friends and bring them home." _We're also going to find the feather_, I add silently. _We won't leave until we do._ The boy's eyes become very serious and he shoots his arm forward, giving me his hand.

"Promise," he tells me. "Swear on… on…" his brows furrow as he tries to think of a suitable object. "On your favorite teddy," he decides gravely. I pretend to think about it.

"On my favorite teddy!…" I exclaim in fake shock. "That's a very serious promise to make. I better be sure that I can keep it…" I look away, seemingly in deep thought. Then I reach for his hand and take it in mine.

"What's your name?" I ask the little boy.

"'nthony," he answers, clearly not sure of where I'm going with this.

"Well," I clear my throat with a solemn expression. "Anthony, I solemnly swear on my favorite teddy that I will personally find Elizabeth and bring her back." This seems to satisfy Anthony, whose eyes revert to their wide-eyed innocence. He shoots me a bright smile.

"Your hair's a weird color, d'you know that?"

XxX

Mokona lands on my head with a small 'pit'. I quickly dodge the pillow Kurogane has just thrown in my direction, and grab the one still laying, untouched, on Syaoran's bed. I hold it up menacingly towards the ninja, as though I was about to throw it.

"Don't push me," I warn. "_Some_of us are trying to have an important discussion here, so if you guys want to fight it out, go outside." Obviously nobody moves, so I set the pillow down and turn back towards Fai and Syaoran.

"So you're saying that there's no way to enter the castle?" I ask for the second time, just to make sure. Syaoran shakes his head negatively.

"There's a river," he says, pointing at the image in the open book in front of us, "and no bridge. The current's too strong to swim through it, and to do that with children-"

"Would be practically impossible," I finish. He nods.

"There wouldn't be much place to hide the children anyway," Fai adds. "The castle's in pretty bad shape."

"There's still the underground," Syaoran reminds us. He turns the page and shows us what seems to be a map of the castle's basement. "There's quite a bit of space down there." I snap my fingers.

"Speaking of underground, there wouldn't be a secret passageway leading to the castle?" I ask hopefully. Syaoran bites his lip.

"It's possible," he says, "but if there is, it's not mentioned in this book." Fai scratches the back of his neck thoughtfully.

"Well, the entrance could always be only accessed by magic," he notices.

"Oh yes. The Golden-haired princess summons her black birds and makes them carry the kids over the river," I say sarcastically. Fai shoots me an amused glance.

"If you keep getting ideas like that, we might start believing you," he says jokingly.

"Are you saying that that's what's happening?" I ask, bewildered. Fai has always struck me as being goofy, yes, but rational. In short, not the type of person to believe in old fairytales.

"I'm saying it's possible," Fai shrugs. "Crossing a river wouldn't be very hard for someone with suitable powers."

"Like you, I'm guessing?" I say, visibly annoyed. Fai doesn't seem to get it and smiles.

"Not at the moment," he answers. I sigh and turn away. If he won't take this seriously, then I will.

"What about the feather?" I ask Syaoran. "Is there anything about it in there?" I point at the book. Syaoran shakes his head.

"There is nothing in there but historical facts," he answers. "Legends are not recorded." He grabs the book and flips through it. "Though there are some interesting facts about the time when Princess Emeraude ruled. It seems that the weather was very unstable, the crops therefore wouldn't grow. The people were poor."

"Just like now," Fai adds.

"Exactly. And after the princess's parents died, the children in the nearby town really did start disappearing."

"Well, no wonder the people here think it's the princess's curse," I say, peering over Syaoran's shoulder to see the book.

"Does that mean the princess really was taking them?" Fai asks curiously.

"I don't know," Syaoran answers thoughtfully, closing the book. "Because what books say isn't always the truth."

"Well, try saying that to my geography teacher," I say, yawning a bit. I'm sorry, it's a reflex. You just say the word 'geography' in front of me, and I want to sleep. Kurogane doesn't know that though, so I don't blame him for getting to the wrong conclusion.

"Okay," he says, getting up from his own bed. "I think it's time for the kids to go to sleep. There'll be some more work to do tomorrow, and we'll all think better with a clear head."

"Awww, but Kuro-tan, we were all having so much fun!" Fai playfully whines. I scowl in his direction.

"Actually, I think Fai here was the only one having fun," I reply. "And I am getting tired, so I agree with Kuro-puu."

"It's KUROGANE!!!" the ninja explodes, but I shush him.

"We don't want to wake up Sakura-chan, now do we?" I say with a playful wink. I can see the ninja trying very hard not to yell at me, so I head for the door.

"See you guys in the morning," I tell them. Mokona follows me eagerly, but not before bouncing on everybody's head first.

"Good night," Syaoran answers me before I close the door behind me and enter my own room. There, I'm surprised to find Sakura, not asleep like we thought she was, but wide awake and staring intently out the window. The princess is all wrapped up in a blanket, clearly protecting herself from the cold seeping in through the open window. I mindlessly lock the door behind me and walk up to her.

"Are you planning to pull an all-nighter or something?" I ask, noticing her determined gaze fixing a point outside.

"A what?" she asks without even turning her head in my direction.

"Are you planning to stay awake all night?" I try again. She nods slowly.

"I must try to stay awake," she says. "If something else happens tonight, I want to know." I sigh.

"You know that princess thing was a dream, right?" I tell her.

"No it wasn't!" Sakura exclaims. I back away, startled. She speaks again, this time in a softer tone.

"I know what I saw," she says. "And if it can help find the children, then I want to see her again and follow her." I sigh and shrug.

"You do what you want," I tell her, sitting on my own bed and removing my corset. The next few minutes are spent in complete silence, Sakura still staring out the window and me sitting on my bed and fiddling with my sheets. I sneak a peek outside at the snow that has just begun falling and shiver. For some reason, the sight of snow falling on an already white background seems somewhat familiar. And I don't like it.

"Hey, umm… can I call you Sakura?" I ask. The princess jumps a bit at the sound of my voice, but turns around with a smile.

"Of course," she tells me.

"You wanna talk?" I ask. She looks a bit surprised by my offer. "It helps to have something to do when you're trying to stay awake," I explain. Slowly, she nods.

"What do you want to talk about, Aisha-san?"

"Hold up. First things first, I'm Aisha. Second off, you can drop all the formalities around me. I wasn't raised in a castle, so it's okay if you're a bit rude," I tell her. She stumbles a bit on her words as she answers.

"I'm… so-sorry, um, I mean… No! Never mind I said that! I didn't just apologize! I… umm… can I…? No, I mean… I'll just… Can I call you Aisha!!!" she nearly screams. I back away slightly.

"Uh… you know that when I mean you don't have to be polite all the time, doesn't mean I feel insulted if you are," I inform her. "You can still say please and thank you. I just meant the really formal stuff, like bowing to me and all that. I mean, I'm just a year older than you."

"You are?" the princess asks. "So I would be…"

"Somewhere around sixteen," I tell her. She blushes slightly.

"I'm sorry," she says. "I just haven't gathered many memories yet, so I wasn't exactly sure of my age." She looks away to the window, visibly embarrassed. I smile softly.

"It must be hard, not to remember your past," I say. She nods, without a word. We stay silent for a while, before Sakura breaks the silence again.

"Aisha?" she asks shyly. "I was just wondering…"

"Hmm?"

"Why are you helping me find my memories?" The question takes me aback. I don't want to lie to her, but at the same time I don't want her to think I joined just so I could go home. Okay, so it's the main reason, but…

"Well," I stall, "I accidentally got stuck with you guys in Koryo, and then… well, I wanted to go back home and-"

"You had to come with us to do that," she finishes my sentence. And awkward silence falls on the room. I nibble on my thumb – another bad habit I thought I had gotten rid of a long time ago. Sakura doesn't look at me the whole time, and I feel more and more uneasy by the second. Suddenly, a low whisper hits my ear.

"The others must have been in a situation like that as well," Sakura mumbles to herself.

"No!" I protest. "I can't be sure about the others, but… really, Sakura, we all care. Maybe we wouldn't have joined you if it wasn't for our situations, sure, but… now… besides, Syaoran would have come anyway. He would have followed you anywhere."

"He- who? Syaoran-kun?" she looks surprised. I knit my brows in confusion and continue.

"Yeah. He was the one who brought you to the Dimensions Witch in the first place. You didn't know that?"

"But… Syaoran-kun…" she seems even more confused than I am. "I… I didn't even know him before this. Or… did… I?" Suddenly, her eyes glaze over and she falls on the ground.

"Sakura!" I exclaim, rushing to her side. But the princess has already opened her eyes again, and is straightening up. I see her look around as though she is confused about her surroundings, and then smile at me.

"Oh, hello! I'm sorry, I must have lost my balance…" she says as she climbs back on her stool next to the window. I go back to sitting on my bed, shaken. What the hell was that?!? A possible answer creeps in my head. It could be… if I could just make sure…

"Sakura," I ask cautiously, "what were we talking about just now?" I see the princess's face go through a series of emotions: surprise, thoughtfulness, confusion…

"I… I can't remember," she admits. I bite my thumb again. Could it really be that? I don't know… I'll have to ask the others. Could Syaoran's payment really be that bad? That even if she figures out by herself that she used to know him, she'll forget that very thought instantly?

"I have to stay awake," I hear Sakura mumble. I yawn noisily. I can't help it – I'm really getting tired. And all this talk about staying awake is just making me sleepier.

"Okay," I start. "Let's talk about random things, starting… NOW." And so talk about random things we do. It's exactly like what the entertainment industry think is a sleepover. We laugh, we talk, we gossip. We make fun of Kurogane – with Mokona's help, obviously – Sakura even hits me with a pillow after a particularly nasty comment. And for maybe a half-hour, I forget about home, about not being there, about similar nights I used to have with very different girls. We continue like this until I make a yawn loud enough to wake up the guys next door. I think I must have broken my jaw or something, seriously. Sakura smiles.

"You're tired, Aisha," she notices. "You should go to sleep now."

"What, and let you get all the credit for catching the princess?" I joke. I gave up on contradicting her a while ago. It's just not worth it. "Besides, I've barely slept three nights already. I can handle one more." Sakura gives me a disapproving glance.

"You could at least lay down and relax," she says. I yawn again.

"Fine," I finally say. "I'll just lay down for a while."

I was asleep before my head touched the pillow.

XxX

_The snow is everywhere. I can't move. I can't breathe. I can't scream._

_The snow is cold. I can't stop it. I can't leave. I must stay._

_The snow is falling. I hear the wind yelling in my ears. I want to leave. I'm scared._

_The snow is endless. It will never stop. Not until I freeze. Not until I die._

_The snow isn't white. I don't understand. The snow isn't…_

_The snow is red. My hands are bloody. My heart has stopped. I want to scream._

_So cold. Why is it so cold? Why can't I leave? Why can't I die? _

_I can't even cry. I can't even look up. I try. I can't._

_The snow is heavy. I try again. Make it. Look up. Breathe. The snow is red._

_The sky is blue._

XxX

"Wha?- who left the window open?" I mumble in my pillow. I tighten my sheets around me. It's so cold. I shiver. My eyes flutter and open. If I want the cold to stop, I know I have to get up and close the window myself. I stretch, stalling until I can't take the freezing air gushing in the room any longer. I roll out of bed and reach for the open window, when…

"What the…?" There's a sheet hanging from the window to the tree right under it. I pick it up. It's freezing, as though it's been there all night. I look to Sakura's bed, to see if she knows why it would be there, but her bed is empty and visibly untouched. I chuckle. So, she must have stayed awake all night after all. But still, it's not like her to leave her blanket lying on the windowsill. I quickly get dressed, throwing Sakura's blanket on her bed. The others must already be downstairs, eating breakfast. I never thought I'd be the last one awake. I reach for the doorknob, but stop dead in my tracks. The door… is still locked… from the inside? How…? I remember locking it last night when I went to bed. But, if Sakura left the room and went downstairs, how could she have locked it again _from the inside_? Then she couldn't have left, unless… I look at the window. No. It can't be. She wouldn't have… If I admit that, it means I admit that ghosts exist. It means that there really is a Golden-haired princess. It means that Sakura saw her again last night.

It means that she followed her.

But… the open window, the blanket, the lock… how else could she have left the room? Feeling anxiety take over, I unlock the door and open it in a hurry. There's probably a perfectly rational explanation to all of this. She's probably waiting for me downstairs, holding Mokona and talking to Fai.

Then again, I doubt that.

I emerge in the hallway and quickly close the door behind me when I see Syaoran walking up the stairs. Fai is right behind him, in grand conversation with Mokona. I must have looked weird, because Syaoran shoots me a worried glance.

"Is everything alright?" he asks me.

"Have you seen Sakura?" I reply. I can see the panic in his eyes as he looks back up to me.

"No," he answers slowly. We exchange panicked stares for a second before moving. Without another word, Syaoran runs in our room as I dash down the stairs. I've already seen all there was to see there. Now what I want to know is in which direction she went… Unfortunately, I can't get very far. The leader of the gunmen suddenly appears in front of me, his riffle carefully aimed between my eyes. I throw myself back and enter in collision with Fai, who was following me down the stairs.

"None of you foreigners are leaving this place!" the gunman orders, urging us up the stairs.

"Please," I argue, "I really need to…"

"Get. Up. Those. Stairs!" he orders, pushing me back with his riffle. I'm about to resist when a hand grabs my arm and pulls me back.

"There's no point in getting ourselves killed," Fai says without looking at me. "I think we better listen to him… for now." I follow Fai, not before glaring furiously at the gunman. He returns my glare. I scowl. He hisses something in my direction that I don't quite understand, but I have a feeling he wasn't giving me a compliment. I notice that the whole squadron of gunmen has entered the house on the heels of their leader. Upstairs we find Syaoran, his eyes cold and determined. Okay, that's it, he's officially not going to eat or sleep until we find Sakura. Looking bewildered, as though we had just woken him up, Kurogane emerges from the boys' room.

"What the…?" he asks when he sees me and Fai held at gunpoint. "What did you guys do?" he asks to the wizard and me exclusively.

"What tells you it's our fault?" I reply harshly.

"More children vanished last night! Seven of them!" the gunman yells, practically in my ear. I cringe involuntarily.

"Please, wait!" Doctor Kyle's voice booms behind the gunmen as the doctor runs up the stairs. "They didn't go out last night!"

"Oh yeah? Then where's the other one?" the gunman yells in response. I shoot a worried glance towards Syaoran. I'm sorry, I try to say with my eyes. I'm so sorry, I should have known, I should have woken up when she left…

"She's not in her room," Syaoran says plainly. I can almost hear all those within earshot gasp.

"What did you say?" Kyle exclaims, bewildered.

"You didn't notice that someone left, doctor?" the gunman asks. Of course, he had to yell again. The doctor seems too shaken to answer.

"It can't be…" he mumbles. "Not Sakura…"

"She… she left through the window," I say boldly. "At least, that's what I think."

"Of course, you'd know!" The gunman exclaims, pointing his gun between my eyes again. "They were sharing a room, weren't they, doctor?"

"We were sharing a room, yes," I answer for myself.

"Then where is she?" I see the gunman's eyes narrow in suspicion. "She's the one who kidnapped the children, isn't she? You're just covering for her!"

"No, I…" I protest in vain. "I was asleep when she left, I swear! I just noticed it this morning!"

"Of course you did!" he answers sarcastically. "And you saw the Golden-haired princess too, I imagine?" I cock my hip to the side and glare at him. I'm getting really pissed off.

"Listen, I-" I start, but a hand on my shoulder as well as one on my arm stops me. Both Fai and Kurogane have stepped forward, staring the gunman down.

"Please," Fai says politely, but with a threatening undertone. "She hasn't slept well in days. You can't blame her for sleeping heavily the one night that she can."

"Don't defend her!" the gunman scowls. The guys have visibly gotten the leader hesitant, but I can still see a bit of a problem. It's that, you see… we're kind of outnumbered. I do a quick count in my head. Yup, I'd say two-to-one. And they have guns. The lead gunman obviously doesn't know where to point his gun anymore. He looks around, visibly frustrated, then impulsively points his gun towards Syaoran.

"Where is she?" he yells furiously. But Syaoran doesn't answer. Instead, he pivots on one foot and lands a perfect high kick to the gunman's hands, making him let go of the riffle. The gun spins in the air for a second before landing in Kurogane's hand. With surprising speed the ninja jumps on the gunman, pinning the man down to the ground. With a murderous smile, Kurogane pushes the gunman's head in the floor and points the riffle to the man's head.

"If you want to use force," the ninja snarls menacingly, the same smile painted on his face, "you shouldn't complain if you happen to die."

"Hyuu~! That's awesome Kuro-sama!" Fai exclaims. I want to join him, but I don't want to sound immature – I might not have thought much of it then, but Kurogane's comment yesterday made me a little cautious about what I say and do. It's a little weird, because I'm not the type to usually care about what others think. Oh well, I still sneak a playful – and enraging – wink to the now immobilized gunman.

"Let go! Damn you-!" he yells in our general direction, since he can't look up to the one actually holding him – Kurogane's still stuffing his head on the hardwood.

"We have nothing to do with the children's disappearance," Syaoran says in a tone that allows no reply.

"You can say that, but will they believe you?" Fai asks, though we already know the answer.

"Of course not!" the gunman confirms my opinion. "Before we get the children back, you people are the most suspicious!" My eyes narrow. If he truly believes that me, out of all people, would ever do anything to hurt a child, he is gravely mistaken. I'm most likely to be the one with a knife, killing all of those who dare approach them. I know, overprotective much! But it's who I am. Can't help it.

"We will find out the truth," Syaoran says determinedly. I can see the fury in his eyes and shiver. I wouldn't want to be the one standing in his way. Also, his promise strangely echoes the one I made to Anthony yesterday. I'm not sure if I'll be able to keep it, but it's a double promise now – I don't really have a choice. Syaoran continues: "Why did the children disappear? Where are they? And most importantly…" his fists clench until his knuckles turn white, "the one who is most dear to me is missing as well." I sigh hopelessly. Another wild goose chase. Except that… this one, I'm 100% in. I look up to Fai. Yup, definitely in. Sakura's coming back, no matter what.


	15. The Search for Sakura

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TRC! Thank you.

Anyway, this has been a long while since I wrote anything, and I hope that won't happen again. But, again, two chapters!!! Yay!!!!!

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"Do you have to be constantly breathing down my neck?" I yell exasperatedly as the gunman peeks over my shoulder for the-who-knows-how-many-eth time. Seriously, I can't believe he doesn't trust me to look for footprints in the snow! What does he expect me to do, cover them up? He backs away slowly, looking startled. It seems most people around here aren't used to women standing up for themselves. I sigh and move on. There weren't any tracks where I was looking anyway. In front of me, Kurogane is kneeling on the path, detailing the snow with great attention. When he hears me coming, he turns his head my way.

"It's no use," he says matter-of-factly. "All the footprints were covered by the snow."

"Have you already searched the area around the town?" Syaoran asks the gunman.

"OF COURSE!" the later yells, causing me and Kurogane to cringe. Fai even goes all the way to blocking his ears. I don't think any of us are particularly fond of having the gunman accompany us, but he didn't really leave us a choice. He just… followed. And since we keep making a point that we mean no harm, we can't exactly kick him out. But that doesn't mean we have to be polite.

"STOP SCREAMING!" I yell back, my nostrils flaring in anger. I'd never admit it, but I'm probably just as nervous as he is about the kids and Sakura. And having him yelling all the time isn't really helping. So, I just do what all mature, poised teenagers do when they're stressed; I yell back.

"What about the castle?" Syaoran continues as though nothing happened. The gunman glares at me before answering.

"We searched the area in front of the castle, but we couldn't cross the river!" he explains, this time more calmly.

"Well then, shall we take another look at that river?" I suggest, walking towards the angry growl of the waterway. "I haven't seen it yet." Syaoran follows me without a word, and both he and Fai quickly pass me. As for Kurogane, he's trailing back a little and the gunman is staying all the way in the back – so he can 'keep an eye on us' or something like that. But we don't pay him any mind, and he soon finds himself falling behind dramatically. As he runs to catch up to us, I turn around to face him.

"Let's make something clear," I say. "We did not kidnap the children, you don't have to watch us every moment of our lives, and it's okay if you loose sight of one of us for a few seconds. Now walk with us before we loose you in this forest." Then I fall back into my regular pace and turn my back to him. He runs a few more strides, but I can tell he followed my advice when I hear him stop right behind me – in other words, besides Kurogane. I smirk, but make a point to ignore him. He wants to hold me at gunpoint like I'm some sort of hoodlum, well he can – just don't expect me to be nice. I'm just getting very frustrated at everybody acting overly cautious about everything they do and say. Even Kurogane keeps his mouth shut, though I know he wants to slam a few things into the gunman's head just as much as I do. Where I come from, we don't bother with diplomacy; you want to beat something into someone's head, you do it. That's pretty much all there is to it.

"How can you people be so calm? Didn't one of your companions disappear?" I hear the gunman pant behind us. To my surprise, Kurogane answers.

"It has something to do with that kid," he says, and I'm almost sure he's pointing towards Syaoran. "You're underestimating him."

"And besides," I continue, turning around to face them, "who says we're calm? Some people get pretty good at hiding their emotions." I pretend not to notice the glance Kurogane shoots in Fai's direction.

I shot one too.

XxX

There was nothing special to say about the river. It was an angry body of rushing water, like any other. The castle wasn't much help either. It was big. It was made of stone. It was in ruins. It was unreachable. And yet… there was definitely energy there. A very strong aura. I'm pretty sure that if Sakura's feather's not in there, something else is.

And that something is big.

"Dammit!" I hear the gunman complain beside me as we make our way back to Spirit. "All this work for nothing!" I growl and roll my eyes, while Kurogane mutters something under his breath. All he did throughout the entire thing was to complain. Every turn we took was a bad one, every spot we checked had already been checked a hundred times before. This is the type of thing that gets really annoying after a while.

"I wouldn't say it was totally useless," I counter. I exchange knowing glances with Fai and Kurogane – I'm waiting for the gunman to leave before I tell them anything. We don't know if magic exists here yet, so better not risk it.

"Ah!" Fai exclaims in front of me. "That's Mr. Glossam…" I look in the direction he points. Sure enough, there goes Mr. Glossam with his horse, entering the small town. His cloak is dripping. I frown.

"He's drenched," I say in surprise.

"Yeah. He looks cold," Fai agrees. "But it's not snowing," he continues. "How did he get wet?"

"Maybe he fell in that river in front of the castle?" Kurogane suggests. At those words, the gunman perks up.

"Because of the legend, no one in this town dares to approach that castle unless something big happens!" he says, shooting Mr. Glossam a suspicious look.

"Which means…" Fai starts.

"That something is very serious," Syaoran concludes. Glossam has seen us now. He gives us a determined glare before slowly turning his back to us and entering the town again. Syaoran watches him leave thoughtfully. I shoot him a curious glance.

"You're thinking something," I say. I know the look on his face; it's the same Ren had when she had a sudden idea. He lifts up an eyebrow and looks at me.

"I want to confirm one more thing," he says. I grimace.

"Is it really 'one more thing', or is it just the first in a long line of 'one more things'?" I ask, hoping it's the first option. But Syaoran gives me an enigmatic look.

"Who knows," he says. I sigh hopelessly.

"Well then, we better get going," I conclude.

XxX

"Be careful with that! Those records are very important to the town!" the gunman yells as he follows Syaoran down the street. The boy doesn't seem to pay him any mind, busy as he is reading the book he's holding – while walking. I don't know why he wanted the records of the town so bad, but he says there might be some sort of clue in there. It's true that they've recorded all the missing children in there, but I can't really imagine how knowing the order in which they disappeared is going to help us. Ah well. Hopefully Syaoran knows what he's doing. Just at that moment, he trips on the snow and falls flat on his face. Never mind what I just said…

"You shouldn't read while you walk!" the gunman scolds, as though he was a mother talking to his forgetful child. Beside me, Fai chuckles.

"Yesterday he was reading while on a horse and nothing happened," he says, as though this fact just made the whole situation funnier. I give him a doubtful glance.

"It can't be that hard to ride and read at the same time," I reply.

"Says the one who can't ride," he counters with a smile. He lifts up his hands protectively, clearly expecting me to hit him. Instead, I join his laughter.

"Ouch," I say, shaking my head. "I can't really disagree, though." I just don't feel like hitting anybody right now. There are other things to do, and those things are more important. Fai gives me a confused look. Then his eyes soften and he peers into mine.

"You're worried too, I see," he notices. I feel my cheeks warm under his gaze. For the second time, I feel like I could easily drown in the blue of those eyes. Hurriedly, I look away.

"Yeah, well who wouldn't be?" I say to hide my blushing. "I mean, Sakura went missing, and then the children…"

"You're a very protective person, aren't you?" Fai interrupts. My head snaps back to look at him. A soft smile is stretched on his face.

"What if I am?'' I ask, not too sure of how to react.

"Nothing," Fai admits with a shrug. "I was just saying." I back away with a scoff.

"You're weird," I tell Fai. He smiles enigmatically.

"What if I am?" he says. To my own surprise, I laugh.

"Oh, you are," I assure him. "Tough that's not necessarily a bad thing."

"Thank you," he says, his smile growing wider. I decide to change the subject; if we keep going on about his weirdness, we're going to be here all day. So I go back to our previous topic.

"Yeah, well even if I'm protective, I can't possibly be worse than Kurogane, can I?" I ask. Fai laughs.

"I think that would be very hard to achieve," he agrees. I look away. In front of us, Kurogane has just picked up Syaoran from the ground as though he was no heavier than a pile of dirty laundry. The boy has luckily managed to keep the book safely tucked in his arms. I sigh heavily. I can't deny what Fai is saying. I can't ignore how my breath caught in my chest as I discovered Sakura's disappearance this morning. How I unconsciously placed myself between Kurogane and Mokona when the fur ball was being tortured. How I desperately longed to put a genuine smile on Fai's face. How I got mad when Syaoran wanted to do everything by himself. I barely knew those people, and already I took it onto myself to make sure they were fine. Not only that, but happy as well.

"Hey, kid!" I perk up at the call. "Are you coming or not?"

"Just a sec," I call back. I turn to look at Fai again.

''Come on, weirdo,'' I order playfully. Fai plays along and taps me on the head with a stupid grin.

''Of course, Shorty,'' he answers. I glare at him, and I'm about to say something very verbal when Fai breaks into a run. Good. At least he can smell his death coming.

''I am _notshort_!'' I yell after him. I start running myself, picking up my skirts for extra speed. ''Come back here you bastard!'' I can hear Fai laugh madly in front of me. We zoom pass them before Syaoran or Kurogane can ask anything, and I follow Fai as he dashes for the old inn. Although this damn dress is slowing me down, and this corset makes it hard to breathe – why was I born a girl, I will never know – I'm still steadily gaining on Fai. I know I'll eventually catch up to him, and when I do… well, I'm not there yet. But there will be pain, oh yes, there will be pain… Fai opens the door to the doctor's house in a hurry, slips inside so fast that I barely see it, then slams the door shut again. Fortunately, I slip my foot in the doorway quickly enough to keep it from closing completely, and then follow him up the stairs.

''You can't catch me!'' he calls out behind him, only to realize how close I am to catching up. I see his eyes widening in mock terror before he sprints into the boys' room.

''That's right! Be afraid!'' I threaten, right before crashing into the door. This time Fai was faster, and he slammed the door before I could enter the room. Damn him.

''Open that door if you're a man!'' I call, banging on the wooden door with my fists. My only answer is Fai's laugh from the other side of the door. I examine the piece of wood more carefully. It seems a bit thin; I could always break it, I guess. I give it a small kick, just to test it. The door shakes dangerously for a good thirty seconds before finally immobilizing. Hum… yep, definitely doable. I brace myself for a kick strong enough to break it down, but then something hits me… the door _shook_. Which means… no, he wouldn't be that stupid. Then again, this is Fai I'm talking about. With no great conviction, I turn the knob. The door opens slowly, revealing a grinning Fai who is, as I thought, nowhere near the door. That idiot didn't even _lock_ it. I shake my head hopelessly before dashing in.

''Stop that.'' The gruff voice stops me dead in my tracks. I turn back slowly towards a scowling Kurogane. I give him a sheepish smile. But the ninja walks past me and swings his fist at Fai, who dodges it by an inch.

''Focus,'' he growls at the wizard before turning back to me. ''As for you, stop acting like a kid. We have some work to do.'' I nod hurriedly, but exchange a glance with Fai.

''Not before he takes back what he said about my height,'' I say, pointing a finger at the wizard and cocking my hip. Kurogane sighs frustratingly.

''Kids,'' he mutters, going to sit in his usual corner. I grin. Truth is, I like letting loose and acting like a kid once in a while. It relieves tension a whole lot.

''Where did Syaoran go?'' Fai asks a few seconds later. I look around the room. That's true, where did he go? Wasn't he with Kurogane when we came inside? Both mine and the wizard's gazes go to the ninja, who simply shrugs.

''How am I supposed to know?'' is his answer.

"Wasn't he with you?" I reply in a snap. The same anxiety as this morning grabs a hold of me. First Sakura goes missing, now… No, that can't be it. Syaoran wouldn't follow a ghost. And besides, Kurogane was right there. He would have noticed if something would have happened, right? Oh God, Fai was right. I _am_ overprotective.

Just then, Syaoran enters the room. I can't stop a sigh of relief. 'Where were you?' I want to ask, but nobody else seems to pay any mind to his return, so I shut up. Maybe he does this often.

Syaoran seems to be in his own little world as he walks in the room and takes his place on one of the beds. I sit beside him and Fai makes his way to the bed closest to Kurogane, our usual conference spots. We wait for a few seconds, just to see who gets to speak first. Then Kurogane turns to me and opens his mouth.

"So?" he says to me, "What did you find?" I found something? Wait, yes I did. What was it again…? I remember my discovery at the castle. The aura and all that. Right…I take a deep breath and plunge.

"Well," I start, "there's something in there. It's powerful, and I'm almost sure it's Sakura's feather." I shoot a quick glance at Syaoran, who seems lost in his own thoughts. "But it's not exactly… accessible at the moment. I don't know how to explain it, but it's almost like… it's there, we just don't have access to it." I look at the others to see if they understand what I'm getting at here, but the only responsive face in the room is Fai's and knowing him, he won't help me explain any of it. Syaoran still seems lost in his own world. As for Kurogane, he looks like he's trying to understand, but I doubt I've done a good job at relating my discovery. After a few moments of silence, Mokona crawls out from Kurogane's coat and bounds happily across the room.

"Yay!" He sings, "Mokona can come out!" I can't help a small smile as I reach up to catch him before he lands on my head.

"Now, Mokona," I playfully scold the little fur-ball, "Kuro-puu is struggling with a very complicated concept here. It would be rude to distract him from his mental gymnastics." I shoot a glance towards Kurogane. He scowls back, but doesn't say anything. Instead he frustratingly hits his mattress – well, in this case Syaoran's – and looks away.

"I don't get that magic crap," he mutters. Syaoran still doesn't react to my news. I wave my arm in front of his face.

"Hello? What did you figure out?" I ask him. When your best friend is one who constantly gets ideas, you learn to interpret the faces they do. I'm talking, of course, about Ren. Syaoran's eyes seem to finally focus on us, and he looks at me.

"I think I know who took the children," he says after a few seconds. He sounds surprised about his own reasoning.

"Hallelujah! He had an epiphany!" I yell, throwing my arms up in the air. I try to sound relieved, but inside my chest, my heart will not stop pounding. Whoever it is will pay. I will see to it personally. "So… who is it?" I ask hopefully. But Syaoran only shakes his head.

"I need to check one more thing before I can tell for sure," he objects.

"What is it? Come on, I wanna know…" I plead. Almost unconsciously my hand reaches for my whip. I wanna know so I can rip his head off, I add silently. Syaoran shakes his head again.

"I only want to see the doctor's patient record," he says. "I think there might be a clue in there."

"Well, we can go ask the doctor," Fai chips in. "He's just outside, a few houses away." I see Syaoran hesitate. His eyes narrow as though he's working out a tough math problem. Who knows, maybe he wants to keep it a secret as much as possible?

"Well then, who needs to ask the doctor?" I say. "I know exactly where his records are, anyway."

"You do?" Fai asks. I nod, but don't answer. Instead, I get up and head for the door.

"I'll be back in a minute," I call behind me. I go down the stairs, through the common room and into the doctor's room. There, half-hidden behind a library, is the door to his office. I don't have to search much for his records – he keeps them in the top drawer of his desk. I grab the thin black book and rush upstairs again. The others give me astonished glances as I enter the room with a victorious grin, waving the book like a first-place trophy.

"How the hell did you know where it was?" Kurogane asks, bewildered.

"What did you think I was doing when I was helping Kyle out?" I ask in return. "He had me write down names in here, and I was the one who had to figure out how to write in this god-forsaken language!"

"You can read this language, then?" Syaoran asks curiously. I shake my head.

"I can just recognize the symbols," I answer. "I don't know how to pronounce them." I would simply ask the patients how to spell their names, and they would come up with all those weird phonetics – ah, bee, see, dee, eeh, ef, dje, and so on – which I eventually managed to match to one symbol each. The others look somewhat impressed. Especially Fai, who shoots me sideways glances every three seconds. Probably to make sure I don't start to scowl at him again and ask for an apology.

"Well, here you go," I hand the book to Syaoran. "I have no idea what you're looking for in here, so…"

"Thanks," he says, looking up to me with serious eyes. I smile.

"No problem," I answer. "You just concentrate on finding them." My genuine smile quickly melts into a murderous one. "And I'll take care of whoever did this."

"Who is it, by the way?" Fai asks curiously. Syaoran doesn't answer, and keeps his eyes locked onto the small book. Then he gets up, grabs the town's records opens it next to the patient's log. I peek over his shoulder and suck in a breath.

"God," I whisper hoarsely. "That's weird."

"What's weird?" Fai asks, leaning in so he can see the books too. I point to a name on the doctor's list, then to one on the town's record.

"They're the same," I say, slowly realizing what it means. However, Fai still seems puzzled. I sigh heavily. "They're not the only ones," I explain. "All the names who appear on this list," I point to the town's record of disappearing children, "are on this list," I point to the doctor's log, "in the same order."

"Wow," Fai comments. "I'm guessing that it's not a coincidence, right?" I look at Syaoran.

"Is he…?" I start, but the look in Syaoran's eyes stop me. I'm right. My hand starts to shake, and I quickly ball it into a fist. It was him all along. What a damn hypocrite!

"I'll kill him," I declare. "I'll murder him." I can't believe it.

It was Kyle. The notion hits me like a ton of bricks. That damn doctor was the one who was kidnapping the children all along! How? I don't know, but I'll figure that out later. Now one thing matters: decapitating him.

"No." Kurogane's voice brings all eyes to him. I scowl. How dare he stop me?

"Are you defending the bastard?" I ask furiously. My fists loosen, as they always do when I'm about to strike. If he won't let me punish this man for his crimes, then he's no better. "Are you saying that we shouldn't punish a man who did all this? To innocent children? To Sakura?"

"No." Kurogane repeats sternly. I glare so furiously at him that I'm surprised when he doesn't drop dead. He supports my gaze with his own, refusing to back down.

"Aisha-san…" Syaoran starts.

"Don't," I say. "Don't try to explain anything." My eyes penetrate further into Kurogane's, and I do nothing to soften my glare. He doesn't seem to care, his face inexpressive.

"Aish-" Fai's voice rings close to me. Too close.

"Shut up!" I scream without thinking. I catch myself a moment too late. Dammit, and I promised to watch my temper!

"No." Kurogane repeats. "You need to calm down and think about this. There's no enemy to fight, and we can't win this by snapping that whip of yours around." My gaze is now locked on the floor, unable to sustain Kurogane's eyes without wanting to hit them straight out of their sockets. My fists tighten again.

"I don't care," I say, my voice absent. I'm surprised I could even open my mouth to say something. "I don't give a freaking damn!" I continue, louder. Nobody speaks for a few seconds. Then Kurogane takes a breath and opens his mouth again.

"You know I'm right," he says. I look away. I know he's right. But I also don't care. The ninja sighs heavily.

"Listen," he says. "This is none of my business. If this was my decision we wouldn't bother with the kids and we'd be gone already. But that white manjuu won't leave until we find the feather, so we might as well get it right the first time."

"It'll be tonight, if I'm right," Syaoran chips in, his eyes still scanning the records. I close my eyes and force my breathing to slow down. If Syaoran is getting involved in this, I can't scream at him. I mean, Sakura is missing. If he can wait until tonight, I should too.

"Tonight then," I say forcefully in an attempt to evacuate my frustration. Syaoran looks up to me and gives me a small joyless smile.

"Thank y-" he starts. I lift up my hand to stop him.

"Don't," I say. "Just tell me what to do and I'll do it." He nods. Kurogane gives me a strange look, but doesn't say anything. Fai opens his mouth as though to say something, and I glare at him. He stays silent. Syaoran knits his eyebrows in intense concentration before finally speaking.

"Have you ever heard," he asks to no one in particular, "of something called hypnosis?"

"Who hasn't?" I answer. Beside me, Fai shakes his head in agreement and Kurogane grunts affirmatively.

"You think that hypnosis has something to do with the missing kids?" he asks. Always down to business, as you can tell. Syaoran nods.

"You have an idea to catch him?" This time, Syaoran seems determined as he nods and gives us a serious look.

"But I think we're going to need some help."

XxX

What the hell am I doing here???

Finding the gunman wasn't the hard part; all I had to do was step outside and he popped out of nowhere. No, the hard part has yet to come.

I have to talk to him.

God, why did they decide to send me here, out of all people? I know Syaoran went to see Glossam, and Kurogane can't do this for obvious reasons – as far as I'm concerned, he doesn't have much people skills – but why me? Fai could have done it. No, now that I think of it, there's no way he could have had a serious conversation with this guy. Goddamn it, why is it the kids are more mature than the adults in this group?

I'm now facing the gunman, half-hoping he'll refuse to talk to me. Then I'll have an excuse to get Syaoran to do it. But the gunman doesn't seem too hostile; not more than he usually is, anyway. So I try to calm my breathing and engage the conversation.

"Hey," I start. The man doesn't return the greeting. No, all I get for my efforts is a suspicious glance. I lean against the outdoor wall of the doctor's house and cross my arms. Not only does this gesture make me look more relaxed than I really am, but it also gives me an excuse to get a few centimeters farther from the gunman and the yelling I know will come soon.

"Listen, we know who takes the children and even if we're wrong we're almost sure whoever it is will fall for our trap tonight and we might need your help so will you come or not?" I blab out as fast as I can, without stopping for a breath. As expected, I got his attention. Also as expected, he automatically starts yelling.

"What? You found out? Who is it? WHO?" He's now leaning dangerously towards me. I pointedly flick away a spit droplet that fell on my cheek before answering.

"You don't have to yell all the time," I say, deliberately taking more time than necessary to get the conversation going. Hey, I might not have made it clear enough, but I don't like the guy. Suspicion has once again lit up his face as he gives me a full-on glare.

"What tells me you're not lying?" he asks, playing nervously with his riffle. "That girl disappeared with the kids last night. You guys are the most suspicious one in the town! What tells me you're not just trying to cover her tracks?" I scowl at the mention of Sakura. This is probably a touchier subject with me than with Syaoran even, because I was there and I could have prevented it. So that guy's not doing anything to make me forgive him for this morning.

"Let's make things clear once again," I say as calmly as I can. "We did not take the kids, Sakura really is missing, I really was sleeping when she ran out last night, and if you dare point that thing at me again, I'll kill you," I finish as he lifts his riffle as though he's going to use it. I want to make things clear about this as well; I don't enjoy having a gun pointed at my head. So he'll have to find a civilized way to talk to me, or I smash him into a wall. I'm very serious.

"So," I continue as though nothing ever happened, "are you in or not?"

"Not until you prove to me that you haven't taken the children," the gunman replies. I sigh.

"And how do you want me to do that?" I ask, knowing perfectly that even if I do he won't believe me. His answer surprises me, however.

"Tell me who did it," he says, a new determination in his voice. I look down for a moment and bite my lip. I'm all for being truthful, but he'll never believe me if I tell him it's Kyle! The people here won't believe it either. They practically worship him, for God's sake!

"Um… listen, I rather not. It's just, in case we were wrong and it's not really that person… and obviously if we confront him, he'll deny it, and so we were kind of hoping to catch him in the act."

"So you can't tell me cause you don't really know who it is, do you?" he says, lifting his riffle up again.

"Put that damn thing down, will you?" I nearly scream. He stops his motion and shoots me a curious glance. I had inadvertently let my hand slip to where my whip is hiding, and from his point of view it seems like I'm uncomfortably grabbing my thigh. Awkward…

"Anyway," I continue, letting my hand loose at my side, "the only reason I won't tell you is that we don't want somebody running around the town telling everybody who it is, cause then if we're wrong… you know. And we'd like the concerned person to… um… not know what we're up to. Do I make sense to you?" The truth is, I'm making this up as I go. Sure it's all true, but it's not the real reasons I don't want to tell him. The gunman frowns suspiciously, but finally puts down his gun.

"Tell me what you're going to do then," he orders. I hesitate again. Is it all right to tell him about Mokona? I mean, he's an essential part of our plan, and I don't see me explaining anything without mentioning the little guy. But he might not believe me if I tell him we have a talking white bun traveling with us throughout dimensions. Why the hell did I not talk about this before with the guys?

"Well…" I sigh frustratingly. "Listen, there's just something I'll have to show you before I explain it to you, okay?" I peer into his eyes, like I do when I try to intimidate people. "But first," I continue, "I have to know if you're in or not, because I won't bother explaining anything if you're not interested, got it?" I see the gunman hesitate, frown, look down and then finally look back at me.

"I'm going to keep an eye on you anyway," he finally growls. "So you might as well tell me about it."

"Fine," I snap back, irked by his sudden aggressivity. "Then come in." I turn swiftly on my heels and head for the door. The gunman follows me with a very loud 'Wait up! I'm not done with you!', but I ignore him. Instead I climb upstairs, letting him scramble after me. I'm about to knock on the boy's door when…

"Hey. Mage."

"Ne? What is it, Kuro-pii?"

"Why the hell are you painting a cat when the rest of us are working?!"

"Artistic expression, Kuro-rin. You can't keep back genius like mine!"

"Stop calling me that! And start working!"

"Na na na naaaaa na! Kuro-tan can't catch me!"

"Fai-san…"

"Hey, Pinky! Join the party!"

"The other kid's out, if he's the one you wanted to talk to – HEY! GET BACK HERE!"

"Actually, I can wait," I answer, entering the room. To my surprise, the boys have stopped fighting and are now staring at me, as though I'm some sort of freakshow. I stare back.

"Is something wrong?" I ask curiously. They look at each other, then back at me.

"What the hell happened to you?" Kurogane blurts out, looking astonished. I frown.

"What the hell do you mean?" I reply.

"You have a big…um… something following you around," Fai explains, an amused expression on his face. I don't bother turning to the gunman. He knows who he is.

"Yeah, I've noticed," I say, letting myself fall on one of the beds. "He wants to see Mokona," I inform the bump I see in Fai's sleeve. Suddenly, the bump starts to move, making the gunman take a few steps back and trip.

"Careful," Fai cautions just before Mokona jumps out of his sleeve.

"Kyaa!" the fur-ball chirps, landing on Kurogane's head. The gunman trips again, and falls on the ground with a yelp. I can't contain a chuckle.

"Get off, you damn white manjuu!" Kurogane orders the fur-ball, shaking his arms around his head as though chasing a fly. Mokona yelps and bounces off, landing in my outstretched hand.

"Aisha," he whines, "Kurogane's being mean!"

"I know," I answer, shooting an amused glance at the ninja. "Kuro-puu's being a bad, bad boy." But before he can reply, the gunman intervenes.

"What the hell is that??!" he screams, his voice going up a few octaves. We all turn to look at him, as though we had all forgotten he was there.

"Our mascot," Fai shrugs, feeding him the same excuse as Chunyiang.

"Mokona is Mokona!" the fur-ball yells, bounding from head to head.

"Yeah, just in case you haven't noticed, its name is Mokona," I inform a speechless gunman. I can see his lip shaking uncontrollably. He points a finger to the ever-moving white bun.

"What the…?"

"We told you, it's our mascot," I answer, maybe a bit harshly. "And it's going to help us out tonight, so you guys better get acquainted. End of story. So, how's the rest going, guys?" I turn to Kurogane. The ninja shrugs.

"It would go a lot faster if that damn mage would work, but it'll be ready for tonight."

"Great. Do you have them the same length, at least?"

"More or less," Fai answers, proudly holding up two wooden sticks, which the guys have been turning into stilts. True enough, they seem the correct length for Mokona to look like a child – in height, at least.

"Stop acting like you've actually helped making them!" Kurogane exclaims, whacking the mage in the back of the head. Fai painfully rubs his scalp.

"You're mean! That hurt, Kuro-pin!"

"And I'm the one who acts like a kid?" I ask playfully, a small smile stretching my lips.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING???" the gunman's cry echoes through the house and I cringe.

"IT'S MOKONA AND WILL YOU PLEASE STOP YELLING LIKE A MANIAC!" I reply, turning violently towards him and glaring with all my might. The gunman backs away ever so slightly as I get up and take a step towards him.

"Let me make things clear between us," I snarl. "We are all worried, we are all in a situation where we don't want to be, I don't like you, and simply accepting that Mokona exists and just moving on would be a very appreciated gesture!" I practically yell the last words. Behind me, I hear somebody step closer and the gunman's eyes focus on a point slightly above my shoulder.

"I wouldn't mess with her if I were you," Fai's voice cautions. "She hits really hard."

"You bet I do," I say, "and if you start joking about this I'll smash your head on a table again." I hear Fai back away. "Now," I say, for the gunman this time, "you wanted to know what we were up to, so here goes…"

XxX

"I don't understand," I tell Mokona after we exit the old inn. "How can I feel the power of Sakura's feather, but you can't? Aren't you supposed to be this kind of super feather-detector, or something like that?" The little fur-ball shrugs.

"Mokona doesn't know. Although, maybe there's a barrier between the feather and us. Then Mokona wouldn't be able to sense it."

"A barrier?" I ask.

"Uh-huh. Sometimes, if there's a physical barrier strong enough, it can block the magic," Mokona explains. I nod.

"That could be the obstacle I sensed," I say.

"Maybe," Mokona concedes.

"But there's still one thing I don't understand. How come you can't feel it, and yet I can? If there was a barrier, wouldn't that mean nobody could sense it?"

"No," the fur-ball answers. "When there's a natural barrier, Mokona can't sense what's beyond it because the barrier's vibrations drown it out. But-"

"What's a natural barrier?" I interrupt. Mokona looks at me and scratches his head.

"Something that comes from nature," he finally answers. "Something alive, like a forest or water. Those things have their own magic vibrations, you know." He pauses. I cup my hand around him and pet him distractedly. I had never thought of water as being alive, but I guess I could live with that.

"So you think I can sense through natural barriers?" I ask. Mokona shakes his head – or, actually, his body – before answering.

"No," he says. "But maybe the barrier is telling you what it's hiding." My eyebrows knit in incomprehension.

"Sure," I say doubtfully. "I'm sure it's perfectly natural to communicate with water and trees." It could make sense, I have to admit to myself. After all, there was that lake…

XxX

"It's not that hard to understand," Kurogane sighs frustratingly as Syaoran tries to explain the situation to the gunman for the seventh time. He didn't believe me when I explained it – and I don't blame him. I didn't do a very good job. But still, it took Syaoran seven times to get the message across! Dammit…

"Well maybe if you would tell me who did it, I'd understand better…" the gunman mumbles in his corner. Yeah, we still haven't told him it's Kyle. He'd most likely accuse us right away, given the way he thinks so highly of the doctor. And I was very serious when I said that next time he points that gun at me I hit him. That might not come across well as a sign of peace. Syaoran sighs.

"The culprit hypnotizes the children," he says for the eighth time. "That way, the children will leave by themselves on snowy nights, so that there are no traces of breaking into houses, and the footsteps are erased by the snow." Okay, so that part is easy enough. Syaoran saw a kid today, right after Kyle had tended to him. Apparently the kid looked dazed, almost absent; he was pointing to the sky and saying 'black bird', even though the sky was clear. And Syaoran noticed that children have disappeared on both nights we were here, and that it also snowed on both nights. Glossam confirmed that they could never find traces or footsteps of the missing children because it always seemed to snow when they disappeared. So the hypnosis idea works. Now the rest was still a bunch of suppositions last time I saw Syaoran, so I'm not too sure how it went…

"The children go to the castle," Syaoran continues, "where they-"

"That's not possible! They couldn't cross that river, the current's too strong!"

"And that's why you don't understand," I say harshly. "You don't listen." Glossam shoots me a curious glance from across the room. Yep, he's on our side now. I can't say I'm particularly glad about it, but we needed his help so… And he doesn't seem to act so high-and-mighty now that Syaoran told him about Kyle, and our plan to catch him. He even accepted to pose as the culprit so that Kyle isn't afraid to come out tonight.

"Anyway," Syaoran continues, shooting me a sideways glance to make sure I don't interrupt again, "there's a mechanism to stop the flow of the river. There has to be, because there is an underground waterway under the castle, and they had to find a way to stop the river flow in the case of a flood. Therefore, all the culprit has to do is action the mechanism, and the children can pass." That, Syaoran found in Glossam's copy of the history book. It turns out there were pages missing in the mayor's copy – the very pages that spoke of the waterway and the dam. Fai found that out actually, by getting a paper cut in the middle of the book. He started whining as though he was going to die, the bastard! Then it turned out the pages had only been ripped out in the mayor's copy, so when Syaoran went to see Glossam, he was able to read the truth.

"But they would drown! Most of them can't swim!" the gunman protests.

"The river isn't very deep near the bridge," I reply, "and there's most likely some sort of stepping stones to help them across." This time it isn't only Glossam that shoots me strange glances. The entire room's focus has seemed to come down on me in a matter of seconds. "What?" I ask exasperatedly. "I stuck a branch in the river to see how deep it went. Is that a crime?" But Glossam is the only one who doesn't look doubtfully at me. The others were there this morning at the river, and they know perfectly well that I never did anything to measure the depth of the waterway. But one by one they look away, probably thinking they must have missed something. Fai is the only one who keeps staring, as though his blue eyes could see the answer hidden in my face. I cross my arms and scowl in his direction, leaning back against the wall. So I can sense how deep a river is, so what? I don't know more than he does about it, okay? Back home, most people with a water kudan could do that; then again mine was air-based, and I don't have her anymore, but still.

I can't wait until tonight, so I can finally vent my frustration on somebody…

XxX

I'm cold. I'm cold and it's dark and it's snowing and Kurogane's late and I'm bored out of my mind. Dammit! There's nothing to do here, except waiting for the guys. I finally hear footsteps coming from the town and freeze. I can almost discern Fai's bouncing pace, but don't take any chances and hide behind a tree. I'm not supposed to be here, I remember. Even Glossam and the gunman think I'm safely at the inn, waiting for them to come back as heroes and get all the glory.

Fat chance, guys.

Sure enough, Fai bounces from behind a bush and into my field of vision. I dash towards him and grab his arm. The mage turns around with a jump, but quickly reverts to a smile.

"Oh," he says. "There you are."

"Where were you guys?" I hiss as Kurogane appears behind me. "You were supposed to meet me here fifteen minutes ago!" The guys had to make sure Mokona left the house as planned, then run straight here to help me find the dam mechanism. Obviously they didn't do that, or I wouldn't have been forced to wait this long. I already looked everywhere I could go without going too far from the rendezvous point, and I haven't found a thing yet. Mokona is probably already at the bridge by now, and we have to find that damn thing – and we still don't know what it looks like – and we have to do it fast. "Sorry," Fai answers with an apologetic smile. "It took longer than we thought for Mokona to get out of the house. I think he had some trouble with the stilts." Yeah, Mokona is posing as a child to lure Kyle out tonight. I had to bring him to one of the houses in town this afternoon, so that Kyle didn't become suspicious; I mean, he'd never believe it if that 'child' came out of his own house! It wasn't easy convincing the mother of the child that what I was hiding in my basket was actually a medicine prescribed by the doctor, and that she couldn't leave her kid alone tonight because the medicine might get him to act strangely. She finally believed me though, and I was able to hide Mokona in a cupboard, with the stilts and all. It was the house of the child Syaoran saw this afternoon; the one who saw birds in the sky.

"What the hell is she doing here?" I hear a voice call out behind me. I turn around to find the gunman, bent over a tree and panting.

"I could return the question," I say, knitting my eyebrows in incomprehension. "Weren't you supposed to go with Syaoran and Glossam?"

"I wasn't going to let you guys alone to do whatever you wanted!" he barks angrily and turns to Kurogane. "You let a girl come here? This is no place for a woman!" I clear my throat and lift my hand.

"I can defend myself very well, if you hadn't already noticed," I protest. "And it's not like we're walking into a fight here; we're only going to save the kids." The gunman is about to reply when the ninja interrupts him.

"You found it yet?" Kurogane asks. I shake my head negatively.

"I haven't gone that far though," I answer. "I was waiting for you."

"Awwww, little Cotton Candy needed help from Fai-san and Kuro-pii?" Fai teases playfully. I scowl and pretend to hit him.

"I'm not a kid. I just didn't want you guys to get lost," I reply. "You don't strike me as having a good sense of orientation."

"Could you two just focus?" Kurogane interrupts harshly. The ninja grabs Fai by the collar and pulls him towards the riverbank in search for the hidden mechanism. I follow, the gunman not far behind. There's nothing else I can really do, anyway. I quickly pass the boys, who are fighting again about something Fai said this afternoon. I dodge a runaway fist and turn to the guys, walking backwards as I talk to them.

"Can't you just stop fighting for the few minutes it'll take us to-" My foot hits something hard and I trip backwards, over a strange wooden box with a lever attached to it.

"Well, that's interesting…" Fai says, walking towards the box and me. I quickly bring my legs against my chest in a double attempt to uncover the mechanism and keep Fai from looking up my skirts.

"You think that's it?" I ask hopefully as Fai bends down over the box to help me up. I refuse his hand and get up myself, brushing the snow from my dress. The gunman tries to say something but Kurogane shuts him up with a glare.

"It probably is," Fai answers. He brushes his hand on the lever, carefully cleaned from snow and branches. "It's been used recently," he explains. Sure enough, I can guess more than I can see a small dam under the water next to where we're standing. Kurogane doesn't seemed convinced that it could be this easy, but he shrugs when Fai asks him if he'd like to try it. Fai then grabs a hold of the lever and goes to pull it, but at the last moment stops and turns to me.

"Would the lady like to do the honors?" he asks teasingly. I look at him suspiciously but don't answer. My hand takes a strong hold of the lever and pulls it.


	16. Floods and Fairytales

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TRC!!!

Enjoy.

__________________________________________________________________________________

As soon as the lever bounces into place I can feel the river flow decreasing.

"It's working," I whisper, surprised, though the change in the flow can't be seen for the moment. Nobody asks how I can tell – Fai knows, Kurogane suspects it and the gunman gave up on asking questions after he met Mokona. Fai nods his head appreciatively.

"Should we go meet the others then?" he suggests, but I'm already heading towards the broken bridge. Kurogane walks with me, swiftly followed by Fai. I think the others are getting used to my determined muteness; I want to get Kyle, and I want to do it as soon as possible. Talking needlessly isn't going to help. The gunman is running after us, still panting from his forced walk with the guys. I don't slow down for him though, and soon he is left behind. As we walk, the violent rush of the river slowly becomes less and less audible, until it is finally silenced to a mere gurgle. The gunman can't seem to believe it.

"How… it… you were right!" he exclaims. Fai turns around to talk to him.

"Yeah, that happens once in a while," he admits. The gunman catches his breath.

"I never thought…" he starts, " and… this morning… you…"

"Were saying the truth?" I finish for him. "That happens once in a while, too." The rest of the walk is spent in utter silence. When I finally see three silhouettes against the snow, I know what has happened. Kyle is cornered on the last part of the bridge, Syaoran and Glossam in front of him. Next to Kyle, a heap of clothes, two stilts and a plush toy. Mokona. Things seem to be going well. Fai takes a few steps in front of me and calls out to them.

"How is it going? Has the water stopped running yet?" he asks, the usual smile splattered on his face. "We found it at the place where Syaoran-kun told us: the upper stream… It's pretty well hidden, Pinky had to trip on it to find it. It looks very old but it works!" In answer to Kyle's silent question, he continues: "The device that stops the river flow," he explains. I can feel the tension erupt as the gunman realizes who's standing on the bridge. But Fai doesn't seem to sense it, or at least he doesn't seem to care; he just goes on talking. "I reckon there must be one just like it inside the castle," he says.

Kyle has now covered his face with one hand, as though he would be crying. With the other hand he hugs his body, looking like a man trying to shield himself from all those accusations. Though his goal is to make us pity him, his apparent weakness only makes me want to hit him that much more. I take a step towards him, but Fai grabs my arm and holds me back.

"Not yet," he mouths, giving me an amused smirk. I lift a doubtful eyebrow in his direction; Sakura and the children won't wait, and he knows that. But I understand his hesitation now that I see the gunman running towards the doctor, a look of profound confusion on his face.

"Doctor!" he yells, visibly unable to believe it. "That's not true doctor! You wouldn't have kidnapped those children! It's all a lie!" he finishes desperately. But the doctor is starting to remove his hand from his face, and I think I see the glow of a smirk.

"Heh…" I hear before the doctor explodes in laughter. He laughs like that for a while, until he seems unable to for lack of oxygen.

"My plan went so smoothly until now. That's too bad," he says, not seeming the least bit disturbed by the fact we found out all his doings. "I was going to get you outsiders framed for the kidnappings while I would get what I wanted, then leave this village forever."

"Doctor…!" the gunman exclaims in shock. He's visibly in denial and tries to approach the doctor, but Glossam stops him.

"These are all your doings?" he asks. Kyle nods with a vicious smile.

"There's something that I want in that castle," he explains. "But it's in a place that is very hard to reach. Only children can go there."

"You kidnapped all those children just because of that thing!?" Glossam explodes, dashing for Kyle. The land-owner's face is distorted in anger.

"Just because of that thing?" Kyle quotes mockingly, turning towards the river and running away. "You only say that because you don't understand its power!" I freeze. A strong power hidden in the castle…

"Guys!" I call out, dashing forwards myself. "He wants the feather!" Syaoran, who hadn't said a word since I got here, suddenly seems to animate and starts running.

"Wait!" Glossam calls out as Kyle jumps from the bridge, as though he suddenly wanted to take a swim. But the doctor lands safely on what seems to be the surface of the water and runs towards the castle. Before he can get far, however, a golden powder erupts from under the blanket where Mokona is hiding and covers his shoes. The powder shines brightly everywhere Kyle steps. Hey, I didn't know that part of the plan…

"He's running on the surface of the water?!" Glossam yells, stopping dead in his tracks.

"No," Syaoran answers, stopping himself. "The path the doctor took is shining," he explains, pointing to the various golden spots in he water. "There are rocks under the surface of the water."

"I could have told you that," I say, stopping next to them. "Aren't we going to run after him?" Syaoran doesn't answer right away.

"Mokona did a great job!" Fai praises the fur-ball behind me.

"It's Mokona's 108th super ability!" Mokona explains. "Super transformation!"

"What's that you threw at the doc?" Kurogane asks as Mokona jumps to hide in his sleeve.

"Syaoran asked me to make it!" the fur-ball says, proudly holding up a small bag. "It's made out of the shiny fish scale Syaoran found in the previous country. Mokona grinded it into powder!"

"Okay, this is all very interesting but _can we go now_?" I ask, restless. Syaoran nods slowly.

"Let's go," he says before dashing for the castle, careful to step in the doctor's footsteps. Glossam, who is right behind him, hesitates. With a sigh I run in front of him, splashing water around my heels as I go.

"What's wrong?" I call out behind me to Glossam. "You afraid to get wet?" I hear Fai laugh as he follows me, Glossam on his heels. I follow Syaoran as he jumps on the opposite bank, through an archway and towards a staircase that leads to the basement. Kyle's footsteps still glow in the starlight, guiding the way. Syaoran kneels next to the staircase.

"The building above the ground is gone," he explains, pointing the stairs. "If the children are here, they're underground."

"Then what are we waiting for?" I say, running down the stairs. Syaoran follows. I continue straight on in a hallway, following Kyle's footsteps. I can hear the others catching up to me as I slow down involuntarily. Dammit, I forgot I hate being underground. It's not that I'm claustrophobic or anything, I just hate feeling the weight of the earth above me, keeping me from the surface. Even a basement can make me nervous.

"Come on, over here!" I call out in an attempt to sound jovial. "I think we're catching up!" We quickly pass a row of doors, each with barred windows.

"What kind of rooms are these?" Kurogane asks behind me.

"There's beds…" Fai notices. But I don't have the time to ask myself any questions about the bedrooms, because at that moment the tracks stop.

"Wait! The footprints stop here!" I call out, lifting a hand to stop the others. I look around to see how Kyle could have managed this when Kurogane answers my question.

"He took off his shoes," the ninja notices, displaying a pair of glowing-soled shoes negligently thrown in a corner.

"There are other sets of footprints," Syaoran says, leaning down to examine them. Now that he mentions it, I see them too. At least fifteen tracks made in the dust, all leading to a staircase that brings us deeper into the ground. Children footsteps. This time I let Syaoran and Glossam pass in front of me before deciding to run down the new flight of stairs. It seems that the deeper I go, the queasier I get. My corset is also acting up, keeping my breath short and my ribs crying in pain. But I keep going on until we reach a high-ceilinged room where the air seems to clear up. The first thing I notice is Kyle's lanky figure standing in the middle of the room, pulling something towards him with a chain. Around him, a group of children stand, looking dazed and absent. I sigh with relief seeing that they seem unharmed, but quickly turn my attention back to the doctor. There I see that the object Kyle is pulling towards him is actually a person, a girl, her ankle chained. Oh my God…

"Sakura-hime!" Syaoran yells, rushing towards the princess. I follow him, my cheeks flushed in anger. How dare he…!

"Let her go, you bastard!" I exclaim, but stop short when I see the glare of steel against Sakura's throat. The princess seems more confused than scared, looking at the knife Kyle is holding on her. What seems like a chunk of ice is held tightly against her chest. I can feel the feather's energy emanating from it. The doctor looks at us with a sadistic smile.

"Don't come any closer," he warns us, yanking a bit harder on the chain attached to Sakura's bare ankle. For a second I think Syaoran will ignore him and dash forward anyway, but the boy stays put, his head bowed in an expression of defeat. I can't see his face, but I know this is far from being over. No way in hell is Syaoran going to give up this easily. But the doctor seems to believe it, and he starts ranting in a crazed tone.

"When I have this feather, this small town… no, this whole country can be mine! But 300 years ago, the Golden-haired princess used this feather to save those children outside the castle walls," he explains. I listen distractedly, thinking of a way to end this. I can't get near the doctor without endangering Sakura, and neither can Syaoran. If I could only neutralize his one hand holding the knife, Syaoran could dash in and save her, but if I take one step further he'll hurt her. If only I could reach my whip, it would be long enough… but I can't take it under my skirts without arousing suspicion.

"Didn't the Golden-haired princess kidnap those children and kill them?" the gunman exclaims behind me, fighting with his preconceived notions. Personally, I don't care about what happened 300 years ago. But at least it distracts the doctor and buys us some time. Kyle snickers.

"If she wanted to kill them," he explains, "there would be no need for such a room." Now that he mentions it, I can see various old toys lying around the room, almost as though this was once a room dedicated to children. I think back to the bedrooms we passed on our way here. The children weren't killed! They lived here!

"We did pass by several rooms with lots of beds in them," Fai notices. I finally have an idea to grab my whip!

"So this was all made for the children?" Glossam asks, as though it really mattered to the present situation. As the men talk I pretend to take a step forward and trip, landing on my hands and knees with a gasp. Syaoran turns towards me with alarm, but I reassure him with a wink that only he can see. My hand then slithers noiselessly on the floor and under my spread-out skirt, feeling for the belt tied around my thigh. I find it and silently unhook my whip, careful to hide my satisfied expression with my bangs. I'm almost certain my hunched body is hiding my actions from the doctor.

"But didn't the king and queen die after the princess received the feather?" the gunman protests and I sigh. Is this really relevant? It's just an old fairytale, after all. My hand grabs a better hold of my whip and I let my muscles tense, ready to get up and snap the whip forward at a moment's notice. I'm about to act when Sakura's eyes focus on a point beside her and she speaks.

"It's not like that," she says, loud enough for everyone to hear. I freeze. Who is she talking too? Sakura's eyes stay locked on a moving point and she seems attentive, as though listening to something.

"But… why didn't they return…?" she starts.

"Sakura-chan, who are you talking to?" I hear Fai ask behind me, the confusion evident in his tone. The doctor, however, seems to be on his last nerve. A crazy spark lights his eyes as he lifts the knife above his head.

"I don't have time for your chit-chat with illusions!" he yells, bringing the knife back down towards Sakura's shoulder. "Give me the feather now!" The princess braces herself for the blow. Syaoran dives towards her.

"Stop!" he yells. He jumps forward, in an attempt to shield Sakura from the knife. But my whip is faster. It gracefully snaps towards the doctor's arm, wrapping itself around it and holding it back. I brace my entire body against the doctor's vain attempts to reach the princess.

"Get. Away. From. Her," I warn, yanking the doctor towards me. Kyle stumbles a few steps, but pulls fiercely against me. My nostrils flare in rage as my hatred for the doctor flows through my veins. Threatening Sakura was the last straw. Behind me everyone stays silent, as though too dumbfounded to react. Kyle seems to notice my lack of support and takes a step in my direction, knife raised. I take a step back to keep the tension in the whip.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," I say, trying desperately not to let go of my hatred and do something stupid. If I jump on the guy and bet him senseless – like I want to do – somebody will most likely get hurt. That somebody would most likely be him, but it might be me. And that would be the stupid part, cause I can't think well if I'm too angry. But hatred is slowly taking over, making my hands shake and my heart pound. I want to hurt him. I want to hurt him so bad he'll regret he ever met me. I want to…

Just then, a deep rumble shakes the entire building. I stumble a bit and Kyle takes advantage of this to shake his arm loose of my whip.

"What's that sound?" Fai asks, not sounding like he cares at all.

"Earthquake?" Mokona suggests from the safety of Kurogane's vest. But I shake my head, suddenly taken by a feeling of impending doom. I can feel the river swelling somewhere above us. It's not following its normal course, I notice, without even knowing how the hell I can tell. But before I can say anything, Syaoran answers for me.

"No!" he says. "That sound is…" He doesn't have the time to finish his sentence because at this time, part of the wall above us cracks and water gushes freely from it, missing Glossam by barely a few inches. The gunman jumps backwards with a surprised exclamation. Glossam has to move quickly to avoid the falling bricks who are starting to crash everywhere. I loose sight of the doctor in the commotion. Damn.

"The water-controlling device must've broke down," Syaoran suggests, running towards us with Sakura, still clutching her ice-covered feather.

"It's very ancient," Fai agrees. "It probably won't last very long."

"Watch out!" the gunman cries just before I see two large boulders detach from the ceiling and fall down in front of me, separating us from Sakura and Syaoran. I stare for a second at the rock that came about a meter from squeezing me and shudder. God, that was close…

"Aisha!" Mokona's yelp brings me back to reality and I jump back just in time to dodge another boulder.

"Get the children out of here!" Syaoran calls out to us, shielding Sakura from the falling rubble. "We'll find a way out somehow, you guys go on!" I nod absent-mindedly as I step sideways to avoid a brick the size of my head.

"Wait!" Glossam protests, but Kurogane interrupts him.

"Let's go," he says. Fai nods and sticks his thumb up in the air.

"Right-o," he agrees. "Come on, over here," he urges the children towards the exit. The kids follow, still looking absent. I start when I recognize a familiar face in the group.

"Anthony?" I exclaim, walking towards the boy. He looks up to me, his big brown eyes clouded in confusion. He seems to recognize me though, because he offers me a small smile.

"Hello, mis'sus," he greets me. "Did you find 'lizbeth?"

"She's here," I reassure him, taking his hand and guiding him to the exit. "We just have to get out of here and you can talk to her." Anthony doesn't ask any questions and simply follows the group. I briefly wonder how long the hypnosis will last. Which gets me thinking…

"Kyle's in there with them," I notice, looking around. Fai shrugs.

"You don't trust Syaoran?" he asks playfully, picking up a little girl. I shake my head negatively as I thrust a small boy on my back.

"It's not that, I just… didn't get to hit him," I admit as a little girl with pigtails grabs on to my skirt. "Hey there sweetie," I greet her. Fai picks up the pace a little, but I can still hear his laugh.

"But… but-!" the gunman protests, watching us all take the direction of the staircase. "Your friends are still in there!" Fai turns towards him and flashes a confident smile.

"He's someone who can do anything if he sets his mind to it," he says. "That's how Syaoran-kun is." The gunman and Glossam seem puzzled, but go with the flow anyways and follow us. The first half of the walk is spent in silence. I have at least five kids clinging on to me, one on my back and one in my arms. They barely seem to have woken up, some rubbing their eyes as though to chase the sleep away from them. But something doesn't seem right… Nobody other than me seems to sense it though; the gunman and Glossam even look downright happy, now that the children have been found.

My suspicions don't wait to be confirmed; suddenly, the ceiling in front of Fai just collapses, keeping us from the exit.

"Damn!" I curse, kicking one of the rocks out of spite. All I do is hurt my toe, though. The gunman now seems nervous.

"How are we going to leave?" he nearly yells in panic. I bite my lip, as nobody seems to come up with a solution. Some of the children are aware enough now to understand what is going on, and the little girl in my arms has started to cry. I hush her.

"There, there," I say, petting her hair. "Everything's going to be fine." I look nervously at the walls around us, trying to remember where the secret passageways are in this castle. I checked the map before we left, but didn't have time to memorize them all. In front of me, Kurogane has already started to remove the rubble blocking out path, but I stop him with one hand. If I'm right, there's a secret door leading to the surface… right beyond the rubbles! Damn… but then, if the _door_ is there, maybe…

"Kurogane…" I say, passing my hand over the wall on our right, "could you hit that wall down?" The ninja seems surprised.

"Sure," he answers, observing the wall. "But why?"

"I think there's another hallway there. Hopefully that one hasn't caved in…"

"Humpf," the ninja grunts, as though that was one of the stupidest ideas ever. But he places himself in front of the wall nonetheless, and I can almost see his muscles roll under his shirt.

"Back away," he cautions, and I bring all the children with me to the opposite wall.

"This is going to be very cool," I warn them, and I see one or two faces light up. Seriously, who had the opportunity to see a guy knock down a wall when they were eight years old? And Kurogane doesn't disappoint. The force of the blow resonates across the hallway and some kids shriek in shock and excitement as part of the wall crumbles. What I didn't predict - but it didn't do much harm anyway – was the amount of water that came rushing at our feet from the passageway. Fortunately it quickly spread and soon there was only a few millimeters deep of water on the floor. Fai looks curiously at me. I sigh.

"Look, it comes and goes, okay? I can't know everything," I answer to his silent question. It's true; I don't know how this whole 'sensing the water' thing works, and I don't know how to control it. Sometimes I'm as clueless as everybody else, dammit!

"I don't know what you're arguing about, but we should get going," Kurogane interrupts. I nod silently.

"Over here kiddies, this way," Fai says, guiding the kids to the hole. I stay behind to make sure no kid is left behind. Anthony still seems dazed as I pull him towards Kurogane's makeshift archway.

"Come on, Anthony," I say. "Watch your step," I caution the kids as they walk over the pile of rubles bare-footed. The little boy on my back has started struggling, so I let him go. He runs towards his friends with relieved laughter. I can't help but smile myself at his refreshing innocence. No hatred in this one…

"Aisha-san!" I stare for a second at Fai's alarmed face before hearing the tear of the bricks above my head. I give a panicked look to the children still around me.

"Out!" I order, pushing several forcefully away from the crumbling archway. Only the girl in my arms remains, refusing to let me go. But there's no more time to leave, the rocks are already falling. I can't stop a scream as one of them catches me between the shoulder blades and sends me to the ground. I shield the girl with my body as more rocks fall, threatening to bury us. Shit, this can't be happening… I can barely breathe and my vision becomes clouded with tears. I try to reach for the others; suddenly, through the falling bricks I feel a hand on my arm. The hand pulls me forward and I jerk myself out of the rubbles with a final grunt. I try to calm my breathing as well as the small girl weeping in my arms.

"It's okay, it's okay, it's all okay…" I hear myself saying, rocking her back and forth. But still she clings to me and refuses to loosen her grasp, and I find that my dress is already wet with her tears. I hug her and take a deep breath to steady my legs, standing up without the wall's support.

"Is everyone okay?" I ask, looking around to see that everyone is staring at me with wide eyes, except maybe Kurogane. I lift an eyebrow impatiently. "Well?" I ask again, clicking my heels on the floor. "Are we missing any kids? What's wrong? Can somebody please talk to me?"

"Aisha-san…" I hear beside me and turn around to find Fai, breathless and still holding onto my arm. His eyes are wide as though he was actually scared for a second. But I shake that idea off. Sure, that all happened pretty fast, but there's no reason for him to be scared for me.

"Yes?" I answer, giving him a look that clearly says I don't need his help anymore. Fai shakes his head hopelessly and smiles.

"Nothing," he finally says. "I'm just glad you're fine."

"And I'm just glad you're calling me by my name," I answer, trying to relieve the tension. Fai's smile gets a bit wider, but he doesn't answer. I turn to the others.

"Alright, let's go," I announce, calmly taking the lead. Glossam and the gunman exchange puzzled glance, but follow. Only when I go to take Anthony by the hand do I notice Fai still hasn't let go of my arm.

"Um… Fai?" I say, but he doesn't seem to be listening. "Fai-san!"

"Uh? Oh, hello," he answers with a visibly forced smile. I frown.

"Can you let go, please?" I ask, lifting my arm. But Fai only closes his eyes and sighs, a long shiver going down his body.

"No," he finally answers. I jump back, surprised.

"What?" I say, suddenly conscious of his every finger locked into place on my arm. Fai leans in.

"I don't want to let go of you," he whispers, flashing a teasing smile in my direction. "You might try to leave again." I suck in a breath as he walks passed me and starts dragging me towards the exit. I follow, still cradling the little girl and urging the children on, but suddenly very aware of Fai's hand. And of the fact that I don't want him to let go. The passageway quickly makes us turn left, back to the original hallway and the stairs leading to the surface. Only when I break to the fresh air do I realize how much the pressure on my chest was heavy. God, I hate the underground. When we cross the river, me and Fai at the lead – he didn't want me to go last this time – I can feel the current rush against my ankles, much stronger than it used to be. I flash a quick glance to the castle, silently hoping that Syaoran and Sakura make it out on time. Fai and Kurogane seem pretty sure, but I can't help but wonder if they managed to escape Kyle, and if there was any more cave-ins… When the water finishes penetrating the basement, the whole castle will most likely crumble. They better be out by then, or I'm going in after them and screw Fai.

We finally manage to get all the children on the bank of the river, and still no sign of either of them. By the time the girl in my arms consents to letting go, Glossam has already given his coat to three children so they can share, and half of the kids are asleep. The gunman stays a bit to the side, hesitant to speak to anyone but gazing nervously over the river. As for Fai and Kurogane, I quickly join them on the bank to look for any sign of Syaoran and Sakura. After a few minutes of feeling the current intensify, I get impatient.

"Where the hell could they be?" I mutter loud enough for Kurogane to hear me. But the ninja doesn't even look at me. I sigh frustratingly. Apparently I'm not the only one in this state.

"They're not coming out!" the gunman finally exclaims a few seconds later.

"If the current gets any stronger, they won't be able to cross!" Glossam agrees.

"Will they really make it?" the gunman worries, coming up behind us. Nobody answers. I'm as nervous as he is but deep down, I trust Syaoran. He knew how to get out of there, and he's probably on his way out right now. No, what really bothers me is that Kyle is down there with them and he's obviously not planning to make it easy for the both of them.

That's when I sense it. A change in the water, a splash, a gurgle…

"They're here," Kurogane voices my thoughts. Just then, I see a body emerge from the water, dripping and gasping for air. No, two bodies. Sakura and Syaoran. Kurogane reaches for Syaoran's outstretched hand and pulls him on dry land. Sakura is in his arms, unconscious but still clutching her feather.

"What happened?" I ask, kneeling down next to them and observing Sakura. Syaoran himself seems a little shaken, and very cold.

"There was a lot of water," he explains, tenderly brushing his hand against Sakura's cheek. "She… well…"

"Yeah, I get it," I stop him and give him the brightest smile I can manage. "She'll be fine if it's just that."

"Hyuu!" Fai cheers. "You did it, Syaoran-kun!"

"Wait! Where's the doctor?" the gunman calls out from behind us. Syaoran shakes his head.

"I… I don't know," he pants. I look curiously at him, then at the castle, but I know Kyle will probably never come out. The water has already damaged the structure badly enough, the castle will crumble any second now. Don't ask how I know that. I guess Mokona was right; I can 'talk' to water, sometimes. I count down silently in my head as the others wonder on the whereabouts of the doctor. _Four, three, two…_

The castle collapses with a resounding crash, bringing all inside it with her.

One.

I shiver involuntarily, thinking of the doctor trapped inside, probably drowning. Maybe they'll find his body in the river one day, or maybe they won't. Whatever happens, one thing's for sure; he probably wouldn't of had a much better fate had he decided to come back out. I would have made sure of it.

"He shares the same fate as the castle," Glossam concludes, sighing heavily. I nod. Because this time I am waiting for it, I can feel it; the brief second it takes for my connection with the water to snap back, like an elastic band stretched to its limit. Then all that I know of the river is how loud it sounds, and how fast it flows. Nothing else. I sigh in contentment.

Finally.

I freeze when I see Sakura's eyes open. The princess stares at a spot above her head for a second, then the ice around her feather starts to melt. I watch in disbelief as the feather slowly penetrates her chest, sending off the same energetic vibes I sensed in Koryo. She then falls unconscious again, and Syaoran brings her closer to his body, a gentle smile on his face. I turn away politely, leaving them the moment they have together, and turn to the children. And there I learn a valuable lesson: men cannot take care of kids.

"Are you kidding me?" I ask the gunman after a particularly stupid suggestion. "How the hell do you think we can walk all those kids back home now?" I point to a group of kids sleeping on the bare snow at my feet. "Do they seem like they're fit for walking right now?"

"No, I just…" the gunman tries to defend himself. "The parents will be worried and…"

"They can be worried a few more hours," I argue. "Just the time to let these kids get some rest. On the other hand, if you guys want to run to town and get some blankets, you could do that…" Since the boys seem clueless to my hint, I decide to downright take command; after all, this is my domain.

"Syaoran," I call to the boy, still cradling Sakura. "No, you stay there," I stop him as he was getting up. "Watch over Sakura. As for you guys," I turn to the others, "You three are going to run to town and get some blankets, some boots and socks if you can and," I glance down at my grumbling stomach, "food. I'm hungry. Glossam… er… I mean _Mr_. Glossam can stay with me and get the kids comfortable. Understood?" Kurogane grumbles something about being bossed around by a kid but follows the others as they take off for the town. As they get further I can hear a loud commotion and Kurogane's voice boom across the forest, soon followed by the gunman's usual yelling and one of Fai's unneeded commentaries. Mokona yelps a few seconds later. Sigh. I thought they could get along for five minutes, and I was wrong.

With a loud sigh of relief, I let myself fall on the cold snow. I take off my shawl, which I gently place atop two sleeping girls, huddled against one another for warmth. I then reluctantly take off my boots and socks, giving them to two of the few children who aren't sleeping yet. Not too far away Glossam is busy trying to find dry wood to light a fire. I approach him, slowly unlacing my corset.

"I could take care of that if you want," I offer. Startled, he turns to me with wide-eyes, who quickly widen even more when he sees my half-unlaced corset. I scoff.

"I think I'm allowed to breathe comfortably," I argue to his silent reproach. "Besides, I'm covered from neck to ankles, so there's nothing to look at." Glossam nods, still careful not to look anywhere near my chest. I shake my head hopelessly and finish taking off the offending piece of garment.

"It's fine," he finally says. "I can take care of it, miss."

"Aisha," I correct him. He looks curiously at me. I let myself fall to the ground again, leaning back against a tree. The kids seem to be alright, other than the obvious lack of blankets and warmth, but there's nothing we can do about that until the boys come back and Glossam picks up enough wood – given that he knows how to light a fire. So I let my head fall back and close my eyes, visualizing Kyle's face as the castle crumbled on him. Surprisingly, it doesn't bring me any satisfaction. I still feel like he's out there somewhere, and we'll bump into him again one day. Oh well, it's probably just the fact I didn't get my revenge on him that makes me think that way.

"Um… miss…" Glossam says above me. I look up at him. "I wanted to thank you for tonight… getting the kids back…"

"It was nothing," I answer, shaking it off. "Syaoran's the one who figured it all out, and most of the plan depended on Mokona. I did practically nothing, other than convince Mr. Let's-point-guns-at-everybody to join us." Glossam smiles fleetingly at my mention to the gunman, but continues.

"You saved some of those kids from the cave-in in there," he argues, "and I'd like to thank you for that. You have exceptionally strong reflexes, for a young woman." I sigh frustratingly.

"And why is it that, because I'm a girl, you men always think I'm going to be weak and unable to take care of myself?" I ask. Glossam seems surprised, but reverts to a smile.

"I never doubted you could take care of yourself," he answers with a small laugh. "You gave me proof enough when we first met, and even more tonight." I look away, remembering our first encounter with Glossam and how I kind of lost it.

"Yeah," I say, "sorry about that." Glossam laughs.

"I'd like to apologize, actually," he says, " to all of you. My conduct was rude and you had every right to be upset after the kind of welcome we gave you." I'm about to reply when a child's voice distracts me.

"Mis'sus!" Anthony cries, running towards me. I smile.

"Hey buddy! Glad you woke up," I greet him.

"Mis'sus, 'lizbeth is here! She's here and she's awright!" the little boy runs into me with more force than I thought a boy his age could have, and hugs me tightly. "Thank you," he mutters in my shoulder and I freeze, not too sure how to react. I haven't been hugged like this by anyone but the twins in a long time, and a wave of homesickness overcomes me. I can feel tears pool in my eyes as I bring the boy closer.

"I promised, didn't I?" I say, returning the hug. "A promise made on my favorite teddy is really hard to break." Anthony breaks away from the hug first. His big brown eyes scan over my face, suddenly worried.

"Why a' you cryin'?" he asks. I wipe away the small tear escaping my eye and smile brightly to the adorable face in front of me.

"It's nothing," I tell him. "I'm just happy you and Elizabeth are okay." The resemblance to Fai's words strikes me. _I'm just glad you're fine. _That's all he found to say, and I didn't even thank him. I purposely decided to ignore the fact that he might have been genuinely worried about me. Damn me, and damn Fai for making me realize what a mess I've turned into since I left Hanshin.

"Hey, Anthony," I say, and the little boy's eyes revert to pure innocence. "Why don't you go get Elizabeth and, if she's not sleeping, I could tell you guys stories until the boys come back." Anthony's face automatically lights up.

"Yay!" the boy exclaims and in less time than it takes to say it, he's already shuffled to a group of kids his age and starts talking to them in an excited tone, his arms flying all over the place in large gestures. It doesn't take them long to gather around, six kids in total, in a small circle around me. Anthony took his place without an invitation, cuddling against me; a little girl who I assume is Elizabeth is huddled next to him. I take a deep breath and take in all the small faces lifted expectantly at me.

"Okay," I start, "is there any story you'd like to hear?" But Anthony seems the only one comfortable enough to actually speak to me.

"Docto' Kyle said that you traveled all over the worlds to find stories. Can you tell us one we don't know?"

"Sure," I answer, digging up into my memory for my favourite fairytales; I finally find one and lay back against the tree, satisfied with my choice. "Do you guys know Sleeping Beauty?" And I talk, adding gestures and commentaries to the story, making the characters come alive as much as I can. The children are soon captivated and my audience grows, those who are asleep soon woken up by their friends. I talk so much that I barely notice Glossam's large figure kneel in the snow and take a little girl in his arms to better listen; neither do I notice Syaoran, slowly creeping towards the tree, still cradling Sakura against his chest. I quickly finish Sleeping Beauty and go on to the other stories in my arsenal: Snow White, Rapunzel, Bluebeard (I soften this one up; they're only kids after all), Puss and Boots, Beauty and the Beast, _Peau-d'âne, _Peter Pan and, of course, Cinderella. One by one the children fall asleep, cuddled against each other. I find that I start getting tired as well, and I stop. Many children protest, but I assure them that it's time to sleep now if they want to see their parents in the morning. I'm so tired that I don't wonder what took the boys so long at the town; the idea doesn't even graze by me that they could have been standing in the shadows the whole time, observing but not wanting to break this magical moment. All I know is that when I wake up at dawn's break, I have Kurogane's cloak around my shoulders and boots in my feet, and a warm fire is burning in the centre of the circle. And I can almost be sure that the body that sat next to me in the snow was Fai's.


	17. Revelation

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TRC!!!!! Thank you for your undivided attention.

And now…..! Outo Country!!! Yay!!! I'm gonna have fun… hehehe… just as soon as we get some serious stuff out of the way. Then… well… muhahahahaHAHAHAHA!!!!

Sorry. It won't be that bad, though. (But I make no promises)

________________________________________________________________________

"Yay!"

"I was so worried!"

"Mama! Daddy!"

"Are you hurt?"

"Thank God you're safe!"

I watch with a glowing mix of joy and pride as the children are welcomed home by their parents. In the street below the emotions are overflowing: tears of joy can be seen on every face, adults and children alike both crying and laughing in relief. I respond to Anthony and Elizabeth's energetic waves with a smile and a funny face, of the kind Elizabeth loves. I can see the little girl giggle wildly and turn to her father, wrapping her arms around his neck and letting him lift her off the ground. She's really opened up since this morning, like most of the kids. I don't know if it's my stories from last night, or Fai's screwball attitude, or even Mokona's soft cuddliness, but most of the children were much more likely to actually talk to us than last night. Even the gunman's and Glossam's attitudes have changed. I think we made quite an impression. Glimpses of conversation from below only reinforce my theory:

"There was one about a princess with this really long hair, and another one who ran away from home with only a donkey hide…"

"…then he started yelling at the other man and chased him around…"

"…never saw anything so cute!"

"…and a boy who could fly with a fairy named Tinkerbell…"

"…they ran all around the fire, and then the big one tripped and landed in the snow, and then the lady threw him a bunch of snowballs…"

Hehehe… I didn't miss that time.

"…he's just adorable! And he has a red jewel on his forehead…"

"Mama, can a have a Mokona for Christmas? I'll take care of it, promise!" Hearing this, I laugh freely and hit the windowsill in hilarity. A Mokona for Christmas? I'll gladly give away the one we have!

"Looks like everyone is very happy!" the fur-ball exclaims, bounding on my shoulder and looking down to the street. I nod and pet him. Fai comes behind me and peeks over my shoulder – well, in this case, Mokona.

"Dr. Kyle didn't hurt any of the children," he says with an edge of relief.

"He needed them to do the labour for him," Kurogane answers. "He wouldn't intentionally hurt them."

"Lucky for him," I mutter. We still don't know for sure why Kyle needed children to get the feather; heck, he had two legs and two arms. We talked about it this morning, and Fai pointed out that the ice surrounding Sakura's feather was probably dislodged from a larger chunk, meaning that somebody had to break it apart. Kyle most likely got the kids to do it. We didn't have the chance to explore a whole lot last night and the ruins were a bit hard to investigate – especially since we couldn't cross the river anymore – so we don't know what he meant by 'a place only children can go'. Probably a cave only accessible by a small tunnel, or some sort of tiny passageway, which would explain Kyle's need for children. Why he needed so many I'll never figure out, but at least they're all safe now.

"But Dr. Kyle hypnotized the children," Fai points out. I agree. He didn't hurt them physically, but… I turn to Sakura, still sleeping in her bed. She hadn't woken up when we walked to town, and she still won't respond. I'm not worried about it, I just…

"Do you think she'll forgive me when she wakes up?" I ask, leaning towards her and tenderly removing her bangs from her face. The room goes silent for a moment, until Syaoran finally speaks.

"I don't think she'll be angry with you, Aisha-san," he says, and I chuckle joylessly.

"Yeah, sure," I answer sarcastically. "As if it wasn't my fault she got caught by Kyle."

"You didn't know-" Syaoran starts, but I cut him off.

"That's not an excuse, you know. I should have woken up when she left, and this would have never happened," I say gloomily.

"She wouldn't blame you for that," the boy answers, and I know he truly believes what he's saying. "Even if you had woken up, she would have gone anyways."

"Then I could have gone with her and she never would have been caught," I argue. If I want to beat myself up, that's my business.

"But then both of you could have been caught and then where would we be?" Fai calls from the window. I don't reply, and keep sulking in my corner. I know they can come up with a thousand reasons to make me feel better, and I also know it won't work. The room stays silent. Syaoran sighs.

"Listen, Aisha-san," he says, "Sakura-hime isn't that kind of person. She would never blame you for any of this."

"Then she's too nice for her own good," I mutter. I then get up and make my way to the other side of the room, signifying that this conversation is over. "Oh, and by the way," I call out to Syaoran, "my name is Aisha. _Aisha. _Deal with it."

"Anyway…" Fai says, walking towards us and clucking his tongue. "Sakura-chan said that she saw Princess Emeraude. What was that about? Did the doctor hypnotize her too?"

"I don't think so," Syaoran answers, looking thoughtfully at us.

"Is it the power of the feather then?" Fai asks again, picking up Mokona.

"If that was the case, Mokona would sense it instantly," the white bun explains. I lift a doubtful eyebrow. I'm sorry, but that fur-ball didn't even know whether the feather was here or not, so how can he be so sure he would have sensed it? I'm not judging, just pointing it out. Mokona lifts one of his paws – or whatever you call them - to his mouth in a pensive stance.

"Maybe," he says, "what Sakura saw was the ghost of Princess Emeraude." I scoff. Kurogane turns to me with an annoyed frown.

"What?" he asks frustratingly. I don't answer. I don't want to start a debate on whether or not ghosts exist. If Mokona says they do, the others will believe him. And I'll still refuse to. Syaoran looks down tenderly to the sleeping princess.

"From the time she was very young, Sakura-hime can see those who have passed away and communicate with them," he explains.

"Are all citizens of Clow Country able to do that?" Fai asks, curiously leaning in. Syaoran shakes his head.

"No," he says. "The only ones I know that have that ability are the priest of our country and Sakura-hime."

"What about Syaoran-kun?" Fai asks, and the boy shakes his head frantically. The wizard them turns to Kurogane.

"What about Kuro-chan?" he asks with a stupid grin. The ninja scowls.

"Who would want to see those things?" he mutters. When Fai's eyes turn my way I already know what he's going to ask, and I don't know what to answer. First of all, ghosts don't exist so of course I can't see them. But then again, so many things have happened in the last few days that I'd barely be surprised if I could.

"And Aisha-chan?" the wizard asks, and I shrug.

"You tell me," is my only answer. Fai takes a pensive stance, his eyebrows raised in an almost comical position.

"I don't have that power either," he says, and Mokona chips in.

"If it was a ghost, Mokona can't see it or sense it," the fur-ball chirps.

"Really?" Fai asks, turning to Mokona, who is perched on his shoulder. The fur-ball nods.

"The one who can see ghosts is the black Mokona with the blue earing," he explains.

"The what?" I ask, this time looking up to Mokona. "There's more of you?"

"Yup," Mokona chirps happily. "Soel Mokona Modoki is white and Larg Mokona Modoki is black!" I pause and frown, trying to wrap my head around that idea.

"So…" I say hesitantly, "there's two of you?"

"Yup!"

"And can you guys like, multiply or something?"

"Nope! Mokona is Mokona and Mokona is unique!" the fur-ball raves, jumping on my head, which I shake to remove him. He lands on my shoulder, just as Kurogane intervenes.

"So that black manjuu can do all that?" he asks. "In other words, you're useless," he tells the little guy, who furiously bounds on him.

"Hey! Mokona is very useful!" he protests, wiping the big guy on the shoulder.

"Stop that! Hey! Get back here you damn manjuu!" the ninja explodes, trying to grab Mokona. The fur-ball jumps away with an enraging chuckle, and it doesn't take long before the ninja has grabbed a pillow and is lashing furiously at Mokona, who simply bounds along, singing a song. I can't help but laugh at Kurogane's feeble attempts to hit the fur-ball, clumsily waving his pillow back and forth.

"You guys have no idea how to do this, do you?" I say, myself grabbing hold of a pillow. "Let the expert show you." And I jump on Kurogane, a loud 'kyaaa!' escaping my mouth. The ninja turns around a fraction of a second too late to block my pillow, which hits him squarely in the face. The entire room freezes a second, as Kurogane processes this simple fact: a girl was able to hit him. Yes, a girl. But it doesn't take long for the ninja to gain back his concentration, and he does so with renewed energy.

"What the hell? YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS!" he threatens, lashing his pillow in my direction, which I dodge easily. I give him another whack and back away a few steps, letting Mokona hit him a few times as well. I dash in again. Hit, dodge, block, dodge, laugh, hit again, back away to breath, start the cycle again. Kurogane is quickly overwhelmed, unable to contain both me and Mokona. The room is now covered in its own little snowstorm, white feathers flying everywhere. During one of my two-thirds-of-a-second breaks, I grab hold of one of the wooden stilts that have been left in a corner and throw it towards Mokona.

"Moko-chan!" I call out. "Cover me!" I barely have the time to see the fur-ball grab hold of the wooden stick before I enter in full contact with Kurogane, lashing my pillow in all directions. The ninja tries to get back at me but Mokona distracts him by hitting him with the stilt. I jump on a mattress and onto Kurogane's back.

"Muhahaha! You cannot contain the destructive fury of Aisha and Mokona!" I yell, laughing madly.

"Get off!" is Kurogane's only response.

"Hyuu! You're getting him, Strawberry!" Fai cheers. I can hear Syaoran's laugh above my own.

"Stay away from this!" Kurogane yells as he tries to jerk me off.

"Not gonna happen!" I singsong, nevertheless holding on tight. The guy's strong, and he really wants me off. "You're stuck with me!" He struggles for a moment and nearly manages to throw me off, but I resist.

"That's what you get for not being able to have a decent pillow-fight!" I sing, then yelp when the ninja grabs my arm and manages to flip me over his shoulders. I land nimbly on my feet, like a cat, and am about to turn towards him again when…

"Sakura's awake!" Mokona chirps happily. The entire room's focus shifts towards the princess, now sitting in her bed and looking away with a confused expression.

"Are you alright?" Syaoran asks, running to her side. She doesn't answer right away and keeps staring intently at her sheets, bringing her hands together.

"There is someone… watching us… all that time… what does it mean?" she mutters clearly enough for everyone to hear. I freeze. What the…

"Hime?" Syaoran asks in concern. Either that, or he's as confused as I am. Sakura suddenly jerks up.

"I have to see Princess Emeraude one more time!" she says, and quickly runs out of bed. Syaoran grabs her arm and stops her.

"Hime," he repeats, now sounding worried. "Hime, is everything alright?"

"I have to see Princess Emeraude," she repeats determinedly, shaking her head. "We have to go down to the castle!"

"Sakura," I say, taking a step towards her. "Why do you need to see the princess?"

"I have to ask her something!" Sakura exclaims. "I have to know… why this… please, let's just go!" I give the others a slightly confused look, and they look right back.

"So…" I begin, and Fai soon takes over with a grin and a shrug.

"We go!" he announces.

XxX

"I can't see her!" Sakura exclaims, visibly frustrated. "Princess Emeraude… she isn't here."

"Yuuko said it before," Mokona intervenes, looking pensive. "When the thing that the ghost worries about no longer exists, the ghost will disappear."

"So… she finally rests in peace," Kurogane concludes. I sigh. I don't think I can take any more of this ghost stuff.

"So let me get this straight," I try for the tenth time. "Princess Emeraude never killed the kids, that we figured at the castle. And she would use the feather to cure them from some sort of disease. Then, when everything got better, she sent them back home? Is that it?"

"She was genuinely worried about the children, wasn't she?" Fai adds as thought it was an answer, taking off his hat as though in respect for the princess. He then puts it back on and continues. "But the princess told Sakura-chan that someone has been spying on us all this time. What does it mean?"

"There's another thing I don't understand," Syaoran adds. "How did Dr. Kyle know that the feather was underneath the castle?"

"Umm, I might sound stupid with all your talk of supernatural forces and such, but couldn't he have just wandered off in the castle and found it? Just because he couldn't get to it doesn't mean he couldn't see it," I suggest.

"But there's no mention in the book, right?" Kurogane asks Syaoran. The boy nods.

"I heard it from Mr. Glossam. No book in this country mentions where the feather was placed after the death of Princess Emeraude. Such a legend doesn't exist."

"That means," Fai says with a somewhat devilish grin, "that the reason we encounter so much trouble in our journey is because…"

"A certain someone interferes with us," Syaoran says aloud what we were all thinking.

Turning around to scan the countryside, I could have sworn to see a bright flash, like the glare of binoculars reflecting in the sun.

Nah.

XxX

"Hey… Sakura?"

"Yes?"

"Could you… um… get that for me? I can't reach it."

"Oh. Of course! There, all done."

"Thanks."

"Hmmm…"

"Hey, um…"

"What is it?"

"About two nights ago…"

"What about it?"

"I'm sorry. For letting you get in so much trouble, I mean. Oh, and I'm not phrasing that right… damn, I sound like a bitch. I mean… I should have woken up when you left and all, and then-"

"Oh, you don't have to apologize! You were just tired, really, and besides…"

"Yeah?"

"…"

"I'm waiting…"

"I… purposely didn't wake you up. I thought of it, but then the princess was leaving, and I guess… I just wanted to do something on my own, you know? I don't… like it when all I can do is watch. I'm sorry."

"Damn you! You don't have to apologize for that, you little demon! You actually had me worried for a second!"

"You're not angry?"

"Of course I'm not! In fact, you have a lot more reasons to be mad at me than I have to be mad at you! Ah, Syaoran was right…"

"Syaoran?"

"Never mind. Here, let me get that for you…"

XxX

I try hopefully for a footing as we are shot out of Mokona's mouth, but all my feet reach is air. Oh, great.

Note the sarcasm.

"Why the heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllll?" I scream as we all fall towards the ground at breakneck speed. I stumble as I hit the ground, but manage not to fall flat on my face. Good thing there wasn't a vegetable stand this time. I pout as I see Mokona land gracefully on Syaoran's head, oblivious to the fact he just made us drop ten feet onto hard asphalt.

"So," Fai starts, and we all look around to this strange new place, "What will this country be like?"

"Is that a trick question? 'Cause I have requirements," I grumble, massaging my ribs. They still ache from the corset in Jade, from which I have only been freed two minutes ago – I changed behind a bush with Sakura. But looking around, this new world doesn't seem hostile. Tall buildings, a street, people walking back and forth through a busy square… And then Bam!

Stiletto explosion. That's the best way I can describe the way the shoes click noisily against the pavement, appearing out of nowhere and into our sight. Obviously, attached to the dramatic footwear are four women, with bright smile and open faces, all clad in identical dresses and aprons.

"Welcome!" they croon, holding out their hands to the city behind them. "Welcome to Outo Country!" We stand frozen for a moment, too surprised to move, let alone utter a word. The women wait for us to say something then, when it becomes obvious none of us will, they dash on us like vultures.

"Uwah!" I hear one cry as she grabs Mokona and cuddles to him. "So adorable!" One of them grabs hold of Syaoran, hugging the struggling boy in a nearly perfect headlock. Another one, with two long braids flapping in her back, attacks Sakura from behind. I dodge the fourth one, who seems ready to tackle me to the ground, and watch her stick to Kurogane like a fly to honey. The ninja seems impervious to her however; he barely glances down at her when she nudges her cheek against him. I watch them all with a mix of astonishment and slight disgust. There's a limit between a warm welcome and jumping on perfect strangers like wild animals.

"Awwww, why don't I get any attention?" Fai whines and I turn to him. He shoots me a playful glance, seems to get an idea and winks at me. I snort.

"Yeah, keep wishing," I say, turning away. He'll have to wait a long time if he thinks I'd act like those girls with anybody – let alone him!

"You can count on it," he replies, and grabs one of the women – the one holding Mokona– and pulls her against him. She passes her arms around his neck and croons.

"So many cute girls!" he exclaims, leaning so close to the girl I think he's about to kiss her, and I feel a violent urge to smack him upside the head. He's a perv. I'm not the only one who heard him, because Kurogane's features just get darker – if that's possible – and the ninja orders in gruff voice:

"Let's go."

"Agreed," I say, then flash a look at Syaoran and Sakura, still struggling with their respective captors. "Let's just help them first." As I come closer, the girl hugging Syaoran finally notices me; I wish she hadn't.

"Welcome!" she yells, and lands on me with a shriek.

"Gah!… Let go… can't… breathe…" I manage to utter as she squeezes the air right out of me. On the bright side, Syaoran is now free. I watch him unconvincingly try to liberate Sakura, only to be caught in a group hug. Goddammit, are they never going to let us go?

"Your clothes are weird. Are you from another world?" The question shoots from nowhere, and we all freeze simultaneously in shock. Wasn't the whole parallel-dimensions thing a big universal secret of some sort? How the hell do they know about it?

"There… there are people in this country that came from other worlds too?" Syaoran exclaims.

"Of course," the woman hugging Fai answers as thought it was perfectly common for people to appear out of thin air from a totally different world. "Many people come from different worlds to visit our country!"

"What's so special about-" I start, but choke for lack of oxygen.

"Outo country is very special!" the girl responsible for my near-death chirps joyfully.

"Have you guys registered yet?" the girl holding Sakura and Syaoran asks.

"Huh?" the boy responds. This seems to profoundly shock the woman. She lets go of them and over-dramatically brings her hand to her cheek.

"That's not good!" she exclaims, and the others follow her. I breathe graciously as air starts to fill my lungs again. "We have to bring them to the City Hall immediately!" the woman continues, flashing us urgent glances.

"Come on! Let's go!" the others yell and follow her down the street.

"Okay!" Fai and Mokona chirp and take their place in the procession. I sigh.

"Do we have to?" I ask Kurogane – still stoic as ever. The ninja simply grunts and gives me a push towards the others, who have been hesitantly followed by Syaoran and Sakura. We form a pretty strange bunch, walking up to City Hall. In the front Fai, two girls at his arm, holding some passionate discourse about all his heroic exploits – which they all seem to gobble up. Following him is Syaoran, trying to explain to the girl with the braids what his goggles are for; the other girl is behind him, trying to style mine and Sakura's hair and asking about our clothes and giving us tips on how to apply our makeup. I try to ignore her as much as I can, but still she swarms around us, talking in an excited tone. And behind all of this is Kurogane, a dark and silent figure stalking us through the street. To top it off, Mokona is there as well, bounding from head to head in jolly bliss and singing an annoying song. I can't help but wonder what these girls meant by 'getting registered'. My answer comes soon enough; the City Hall is a large and busy building on the very street we came from. The girls leave us at the entrance, assuring us that we'll be fine on our own. I can't say I was sad to see them leave. They were nice, but a bit too overzealous in my taste. Fai watches them leave with a disappointed expression; what did he think, that they would follow us as long as we stayed here? Geez…

"Welcome to Outo country," a dazed-looking woman greets us to one of the many registration booths. She hands Fai a sheet of paper. "Please write your names here." Fai hurriedly grabs a pencil and observes the blank sheet with a critical eye, as though debating what to write.

"It's alright if you use different names than the ones you used before," the lady informs us in her professional, nearly robotic tone.

"So we can use pseudonyms?" Fai asks, and his face lights up like he just had a brilliant idea; in other words, nobody else is going to like it.

"Yes," the lady answers.

"Alright, I'll just write everyone's names in," he says happily, penning some strange symbols on the piece of paper. I peek curiously over his shoulders.

"No," I say, covering my mouth with my hand to suppress a laugh. "You can't…" Then my eyes fall on one corner of the page and the words die on my lips. I hold out my hand to Fai.

"Give me the pencil," I order, "and I'll write my own name."

"Nope, too late," he sings and he quickly hands the paper to the woman behind the desk. I sigh hopelessly.

"Fai-saaaaaaaaaaaaan…" I moan. Syaoran has caught a glimpse of the paper as well and seems to have frozen in that position, eying blankly the spot where the paper used to be and stuttering.

"Fai…san…" I hear before the lady starts speaking again. She looks distractedly at the paper, doesn't seem to react, and turns back to us.

"I'll keep this. Now, what kind of job would you like to do?"

"Huh? Travellers have to work as well?" Fai asks, and I look at her in surprise. Don't we have to hunt for our own jobs? I thought that was a universal rule, no matter where you were.

"It doesn't really matter. But if you don't work you won't have any money and then you won't be able to do anything."

"I suppose," Fai answers, leaning against the desk.

"Have you decided where to stay yet?" the woman asks, completely changing the subject. "I can recommend some nice places for you."

"Umm, excuse me, but what is this country's currency?" Syaoran asks timidly, leaning over to her. For the first time, she gives us more than a professional, cold smile.

"It's 'en'," she answers, and we look curiously at each other.

"We don't have any of that," Fai notices with a sly look. Syaoran shakes his head.

"We don't," he agrees.

"Don't want to burst anyone's bubble, but we have _no money at all_. We don't have any of _anything,_" I intervene.

"Oh, don't be so negative," Fai says as he waves me off. I pout.

"If you've brought any items with you, you can exchange it for money," she informs us. I nod as I think of the big bag of clothes Kurogane carried since we got here. It's not like we'll be needing any of them…

"Sure," I say, looking at the others for approbation. "We can do that." I see an expectant smile grow on Fai's face. He turns around joyfully and calls out behind us:

"Kuro-woofy, bring the bag over here!" I start at the unusual nickname, then remember…

"Don't call me by a dog's name!" the ninja growls and marches heavily towards us, dragging the large bag behind him. Syaoran takes it, looks protectively at Sakura and Mokona – who were sitting in the back with Kurogane – and hands it over to the lady. Kurogane stomps back to the bench, muttering things I won't copy here. I shake my head disappointingly and turn to Fai.

"Kuro-woofy?" I ask, one sceptic eyebrow lifted.

"It fits, don't you think?"

"You're horrible, do you know that? Horrible, horrible, horrible," I scold him, but I still can't help the smile from creeping on my face. He smiles playfully back at me.

"I know," is his only answer. I sigh.

"Give us those house addresses, please," I tell the woman behind the desk.

XxX

The house is fairly big. Two-stories high, it sits in a quaint neighbourhood, half-commercial, half-residential. There are many windows, especially in the front, and a large living room, an airy kitchen, two bedrooms, two bathes and enough space in both the front and back to say we have a yard. I can honestly say I've never been in a house this big in my entire life! Forget about owning one. I slouch next to Sakura on the couch we bought, and admire the impersonal, yet full of potential living room. I think I'm going to go on a wild furniture shopping-spree tomorrow and decorate the whole house. And nobody will have anything to say about it, hehehe…

"We're lucky they were willing to buy the clothes we bought in Jade and Koryo," Fai notices, crouched on the floor. This seems to be one of his favourite positions.

"Especially the Koryo ones," I say. "My outfit was practically a rag."

"Well, some countries treat clothes from other countries as treasure," Syaoran explains. He lays his cloak on the floor, ready to serve as a makeshift blanket and pillow. Yup, because in all our careful preparations, nobody thought of buying beds. Just to show you what happens when you let guys buy the furniture.

"Hmmm. Your dad taught you that?" I ask, and Syaoran nods.

"Yes," he answers, and a smile stretches his lips. I smile back.

"You miss him, don't you?"

"Yes."

"Yeah," I nod absentmindedly, looking out the window. I miss them too. I would give anything right now to be home with them, or even to have them here in this world. Just to be with them would be enough.

"Is it alright to be this relaxed?" Kurogane's gruff voice interrupts my train of thought. "Someone might be spying on us right now." The ninja has been walking aimlessly trough the house for the past hour, peeking through every window and opening every cupboard, as though whoever is watching us is stupid enough to do it from our own house. I shift uncomfortably. With all the fuss about the registration, and buying a house and the new sights and sounds of this place, I had almost forgotten about that whole 'someone's watching us' stuff. I guess it doesn't seem to bother anybody else, because Sakura just slumps against me, profoundly asleep, and Fai simply snuggles up to his coat on the floor.

"But you can't be tensed up every minute of the day! You should loosen up once in a while," he says, rolling along on the floor and giggling – yes, giggling – to himself.

"YOU'RE WAY TOO RELAXED!!!" Kurogane growls angrily. I can't say I agree with most of what Fai says, but this would be an exception. Whoever's watching us is out of reach for now, and he's not planning on coming to visit anytime soon – unless he's suicidal. So as long as all he does is watch, I'll live with it. Though he better watch out if he does anything more…

"So," Fai interrupts, "now we have a place to stay. Next, if Mokona…" We all turn to the little fur-ball, sitting carelessly on the sofa. He seems to think for a moment before speaking.

"It's very faint," he admits, "but I can sense the power of Sakura's feather." Syaoran freezes, as though shocked. I don't understand why he always seems so surprised when we hear of a feather. I mean, there's been one in every country so far…

"There's a feather in this country," Mokona concludes. I nod. Yup. I pretty much figured.

Suddenly, I hear a noise outside. It's almost like the heavy footfall of something big. Something really big. Then the noise intensifies, and I gently place Sakura on the couch as I get up. The others have heard it too, and we all turn towards the eastern wall of the house, where the noise seems to be coming from. I try to concentrate to see if it's magical, but no use. Damn inconsistent magic! Just when I want to use it, it disappears. Great.

The wall and windows explodes at this instant and I reach nervously for my whip before remembering I left it upstairs with my things. Damn.

My posture straightens when I see what caused the window's destruction. I pass my tongue on my teeth in anticipation. Well this is going to be fun. Because through the hole stands no less than a monster. And two smouldering eyes, burning into my soul.


	18. Bittersweet

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TRC

So, this is pretty much their first day in Outo. It's pretty long… no, really, it's the longest one yet! Hopefully, I won't write any that long anymore, unless there's something really important going on…o_0

And yeah, so there's a bit of seriousness in there, but there's also a bit of craziness. It was supposed to be all craziness, but Aisha had to go and start getting serious right in the middle of it… she never listens to me! whines….

So enjoy and comment!!!

________________________________________________________________________

I quickly dodge the large claw reaching into the house and pick up the sleeping Sakura in my arms. The monster – or whatever it is – has decided to hobble over on all fours and check us out. Its ominous, swinging tail brushes away anything in its path. I stare intently at the fiery red eyes, trying to see some intelligence in this dark, monstrous carcass. And I only see one thing: bloodlust. That thing has only one goal in life and that's to kill as many things as possible.

And my poor wall that's been reduced to splitters. I want to cry.

"Wow!" Fai exclaims beside me. "We barely moved in and we already have an unexpected guest."

"Tsk tsk tsk," I scold the large creature. "That's very rude you know. Haven't you ever heard of knocking?" The monster sweeps the floor with its claw, missing Syaoran by an inch and forcing me and Fai against the wall. I jump backwards and onto the couch, flipping it backwards so as to somewhat protect Sakura.

"Sorry," I mutter, though I know she can't hear me. "You slow me down a bit." I look at Kurogane, who looks back before nodding once. I know he'll look after her. So I jump onto the now-upturned couch and stare the monster down.

"Hmmm…" I say. "Let's see what you got, big boy."

As though in response, the 'big boy' in question sweeps the floor again. To dodge it this time, Syaoran has to jump back towards me. I see the other claw before he does, swinging rapidly towards his right-hand side. I know he doesn't have the time to dodge it.

"Syaoran!" I yell, and dive towards him. I tackle him to the ground before the claw catches him, then roll onto my feet. I'm now a few inches only from the hideous creature's head and his burning eyes. I swallow.

"Hello," I say timidly. "I don't believe we've been acquainted." All I get in response is a deafening roar and an attempt to bit my head off. I kick it furiously in the head as I jump back to dodge its claws, before I see Syaoran jump against the wall and into the air above me. The boy flips gracefully and lands on the thing's head, hammering it with a perfect kick. With a strange hiss, as though it was deflating, the creature falls to the ground. Syaoran lands beside me, his breath a bit short.

"Are you alright, Aisha-san?" he asks and I nod.

"Yep, I'm fine. You?" I reply.

"Yes."

"Good job!" Fai cheers, soon echoed by Mokona. Then the blond man sighs tiredly. "Wow. A reception team full of cute girls and a beautiful home for us… I thought this would be a friendly country, but it's pretty dangerous too!" Just then, a strange squishy sound emanates from the monster's body. It begins disintegrating into a gooey substance and disappearing into thin air.

"It disappears?" Syaoran exclaims, but I can't take my eyes off of what's left of the creature's body.

"Creepy…" I mutter. Beside me, Kurogane grunts.

"This is indeed a very dangerous country," Fai concludes. My eyes wander to Sakura, still asleep in Kurogane's arms. She seems unharmed. Then I look at the rest of the room. The floor is covered in wood and glass and plaster, a cold draft is coming in from the hole in the wall, and…

"Oh, come on…" I groan, looking at what's left of the wall. With the monster now gone, I can appreciate the full destruction that has raged through the living room. Barely a few pieces of wood still hang awkwardly from their frames. "Why is it we always have to break everything we put out hands on?"

"Speak for yourself," Kurogane grunts, gently placing Sakura on the couch, which he turned back to its original position. "I didn't break anything."

"Um… Aisha-san?" Syaoran's hesitant voice brings my attention to him. He's staring at my hands with wide eyes, and I notice Fai's been peeking over his shoulder as well. I look down myself and gasp.

Surrounding my fingers are tiny droplets of light, and my hands themselves seem to be wrapped in a soft silver shine. Hesitantly, not even sure of what it is I'm doing, I direct my palms towards the broken wall. The debris start to vibrate and lift themselves, and soon the whole room is covered in the silver light, blinding me. I can barely see a thing, yet I can… feel it. The pieces of the wall coming back together, the silver light shooting from my palms, everything. Then, as suddenly as it had appeared, the light flashes one last time and vanishes. In front of us lies a complete wall – not repaired, but as though it had never been smashed in the first place. I smile contentedly at my palms. Maybe this magic thing isn't so bad after all.

"Hyuu-! How did you do that?" Fai asks though I know he knows perfectly well how I did. I'm about to answer him, and maybe smack him for his previous comment about cute girls, but then…

"You have blood on you," Kurogane says sharply, grabbing my arm. I look down to it and see that, true enough; a few drops of blood are coating my upper arm.

"Hm? How did that get there?" I mutter, certain that I didn't hurt myself.

"Are you sure that thing didn't hit you?" Kurogane asks. Without waiting for an answer, he pulls me towards him brusquely. He then holds my chin up, shooting puzzled glances in my direction. He turns my head around and looks to the side of my head, checks my neck, studies me carefully for any wound he might have missed. I shake him off.

"Yes, I'm sure that thing didn't get me," I say, looking curiously at him. How did I get blood on myself…? My gaze drops towards Syaoran and, for the first time I notice the small but steady stream of blood flowing down his arm. "Oh my gosh, what happened?" I exclaim, rushing to him. Syaoran looks down at his arm and shrugs, hiding his cut.

"It's nothing," he says, but I ignore him.

"Fai-san, go get the First Aid kit, please," I order. "Kuro-muy, if you could just let go of my arm…"

"Right-o, boss!" Fai says and dashes for the kitchen. Kurogane finally admits on letting me go, muttering strange apologies – they don't sound apologetic, but it's Kurogane. I distractedly wipe away the blood from Syaoran's cut as the boy blushes slightly. I purposely ignore his attempts to get my hands away from his wound, until Fai comes back with the First Aid kit. I'm in the middle of making him a bandage when Syaoran finally speaks.

"I'm sorry," he says. I don't look at him.

"You have no reason to say sorry," I reply dryly. I feel him tense under my fingers.

"I didn't mean to… it was when that creature…"

"It's not that you got hurt," I interrupt. "It's that you told me you weren't hurt, even though you were. You have to say these things."

"I'm sorry," he repeats. I tug a little harder than I should on the bandage, and see him wince.

"Don't apologize. Just talk about it next time," I conclude, walking away. Mokona bounds worriedly in my vision.

"Is Aisha angry?" he asks in a tiny voice. I shake my head.

"I'm not angry," I answer softly so that only him and Syaoran can hear me. "I was worried."

"Worried?" Mokona repeats.

"Yeah. If he doesn't talk about small things like that, how will I ever know if something really bad happens?" I say, sending Syaoran a sideways glance. I see him blush.

"I'm sorry," he says for the third time, and I lift up a hand to stop him.

"Don't be sorry," I say, an enigmatic smile stretching my lips. "Just don't try to suffer alone. That never works, trust me." We stand there, unmoving, Syaoran's eyes trying in vain to grasp the reason for my smile until Kurogane walks towards us.

"Let's sleep," he decides, shedding his cloak on the floor. "I don't think they'll come back tonight." He doesn't have to precise what 'they' are.

"But…" I start.

"But nothing. You have to sleep and you'll do it now. No argument." I let myself fall onto the ground.

"I'm not a kid," I mutter, and grabbing a pillow from the sofa, I whack Kurogane with it. "I can go to bed when I want."

"Yeah, but I'm the adult," he growls and tries to punch me, but I dodge it.

"As far as I'm concerned, Syaoran and me are more mature than you two," I argue, pointing at Fai – who gives us the most unconvincing angel face I have ever seen. "So much for the adult superiority."

"It's still late and we are sleeping because I SAID SO!!!"

"Geez, you sound like my mom," I say, and crash on my pillow. "And fine, I'm sleeping, see? And even though you say I'm the one who needs sleep, I bet you ten _kokos_ that I'll be the first one up tomorrow."

"SLEEP," Kurogane orders simply, and watches Syaoran sitting down next to me and finally lying down himself. When Fai leaves the room – for whichever reason that may be – the ninja follows him.

"Hey! No fair!" I call out, propping myself on my elbow. "I sleep, you sleep!"

"Shut up!" is my only answer. I pout angrily.

"You're mean, _Kurgie-woggie_!" I finally call out to him. From where I am, I can hear Fai's laughter clearly, followed by Kurogane yelling something about 'not being a dog.' Oh well, he'll be the one surprised when he finds out.

"Good night!" Mokona chirps and jumps in my arms.

"Um… Good night," Syaoran says hesitantly. I smile towards him.

"Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite," I say joyfully, wrapping my arms around my pillow and pretending to sleep. "And watch your arm."

"Bed bugs?" Syaoran asks apprehensively and I chuckle, holding Mokona closer to my chest.

"Good night, Syaoran-kun," I conclude and shut my eyes.

XxX

I'm almost asleep when I feel something being dumped carelessly onto me. Feeling around, I recognize the now-familiar leather of my whip. From atop me, I hear Kurogane's gruff voice.

"In case they come back. Keep it close."

I grunt affirmatively and turn around in an attempt to hide the tear squeezing through my closed lids. Then I fall asleep again.

XxX

_"Aisha?"_

_I turn my head violently towards the voice, cowering into my corner. She can't see me like this, she can't, everything'll just fall apart…_

"_Aisha, oh my God!" Etsuko exclaims, wide-eyed, as she runs towards me. "What are you doing here? What happened to you? Oh God, how bad is it?" I just shake my head, refusing to speak in fear that my voice will crack into tears. _

"_Tsuko-chan? What's wrong?" a voice calls from the open door. I close my eyes. Not him too, this is just impossible…_

"_It's Aisha! Quick, hurry up!" Etsuko calls back frantically. "We have to get her in!"_

"_What the…Oh, shit. Shit, shit, shit. Can you walk?" Kento's voice asks above me. I nod slowly, muffling a sob. I keep telling myself that this isn't happening, that it's all a dream somehow… I feel a hand under my arm, gently pulling me up. I test my footing, still refusing to look up to my savior. Slowly I take a few steps. _

"_Here, come on. That's it. Tsuko-chan, get the First Aid. Come on Sha, you're okay. You're fine, that's it girl, one step at a time…" With Kento's help, I stagger to the front door. The vivid light blinds me a moment, until my eyes get used to the lighting of the familiar house. I blink furiously to keep away the tears. Kento guides me to the living room's couch. As we draw closer, I lean away from him more and more. The last few steps I do alone. _

"_I got the kit. Oh Aisha, what the hell happened?" Etsuko asks, entering the room. I groan and let myself fall on the couch. Without waiting for an answer, Etsuko sits next to me and starts bandaging the more visible wounds. Her fingers lightly brush a bruise on my arm, and I wince. She gasps and quickly apologizes, but I shake my head. It's not her fault. _

"_What happened?" she repeats, tirelessly going from the open case on her lap to my cuts and bruises. I refuse to answer. Suddenly her hands freeze, suspended a few inches above the First Aid kit. She deliberately places the open case on the floor and kneels in front of me, under both mine and Kento's surprised gazes. Carefully her hands cup my face, forcing my eyes into her._

"_It was your mother, wasn't it?" she asks softly. At these words, I can't contain the tears any longer. I break down, endless sobs shaking my shoulders. Unable to look at them, I bring my tired legs onto the couch and bury my face between my knees. _

"_It was…?" Kento starts. "But why would she…?"_

"_Please don't tell me you didn't know," Etsuko replies harshly, wrapping her arms around me protectively. Then, softer, she asks next to my ear, "Is this the first time?" I shake my head negatively, secretly wishing that I'm not really telling them the truth._

"_It's never been this bad before," I say, my voice hoarse and cracking. "It's never been this bad…" I remember all the other times, were she would stop after a slap or two, sometimes three. I had never had more to hide than a small bruise, which I could pass off as the product of some meaningless accident. But tonight… "She was just out of control," I explain to my friends' worried faces. "The twins are out at a friend's house, and when she came back she just…" I stop, the tears keeping me from going any further. She hit me so much I can't recall exactly how many times, or what she used to create the large violet bruises on my legs. All I remember is running out of the house, closing the door behind me, stumbling to Etsuko's front porch and hiding in a dark corner to cry. I vaguely remember locking the door as I ran out of the house…_

"_Oh, shit," I mumble. "She won't be happy tomorrow…" I wipe away the steady stream of tears from my face. "I'm sorry I had to come here," I apologize to the two figures around me. "I'm sorry…"_

"_Now you shut up," Etsuko's voice stops me. "There's no reason you should be saying that, and you know it. None of this is your fault."_

"_Yeah," I hear Kento say beside me. "You should have told us long ago." I can't take it. It's not the pain that makes me cry – no, by now it's getting numb anyways – but it's the fact that I've had to keep them away from me for so long… they have to hate me now, for lying to them. They have to._

"_I'm sorry," I repeat, fresh tears falling on my cheeks and into my mouth. "I…had to… I couldn't…"_

"_Hush," Kento says, gently cradling me in his arms. "You just hang in there like you always do, Sha. I won't let her hurt you like this anymore. Just next time, you tell us, okay? Don't try to suffer alone like this." And I still cry in his arms as he rocks me back and forth, but this time, my tears don't only taste of pain and sorrow. There's something a bit brighter there… there's hope._

Just don't try to suffer alone.

XxX

"Good morning, sleepyheads!" I sing, bringing a plate of steaming coffee into the living room. "Rise and shine! Wakie wakie, smell the coffee!"

"Wakie wakie!" Mokona repeats, bounding happily beside me. Syaoran groans sleepily and props himself on his elbow.

"Is it morning yet?" he asks, rubbing his eyes dreamily. I nod happily.

"Not only is it morning, but I let you guys sleep in. Oh, and Kuro-kun owes me ten _kokos_. Just to tell you!" I give Syaoran a hot mug and watch him take a long sip from it. He grimaces.

"It's hot," he says, looking strangely at the mug.

"It's coffee," I answer. "Is Sakura awake?" Syaoran checks over his shoulder to the couch and shakes his head.

"Not yet," he answers. I nod. In front of Kurogane's lack of reaction to my coaxing, I nudge him with my foot. Automatically, a hand comes shooting out from under the black cloak and grabs my ankle. I nearly drop the coffee plate.

"Woah!" I exclaim. "Watch it!" All I get as an answer is a loud grunt.

"Hey, Raki-chan!" I hear Fai call from the kitchen. "Where's the bread?"

"In the bread cupboard, where else?" I call back. He started calling me Raki-chan this morning. Apparently, 'Raki seed' didn't sound like it was a person's name, so he had to change it.

"Where's the bread cupboard?"

"On the counter, next to the fridge!"

"Which one's the fridge again?" Just then I hear a loud crash and a bang, then the distinct sound of Fai – as well as several other objects - falling on the ground. "Never mind! I found it!" I sigh and shake my head hopelessly.

"You want coffee?" I ask a disheveled Kurogane, handing him a mug. "It's hot." The ninja grabs the mug and sniffs it suspiciously, then drinks it all in one shot.

"Oh my gosh, don't do that!" I yell, taking the mug from him. "You want to get burned or something? Sheesh, I shouldn't have to mother you…" But Kurogane doesn't seem to experience any discomfort from the burning liquid. He thoughtfully wipes away some coffee from his chin, then looks up at me.

"You got any more of that?" he asks in a gruff voice, and I hand him another mug.

"Drink slowly," I urge him. "I wasn't kidding when I said it was hot." But Kurogane chugs the entire mug again, and I snap it from him. "No more coffee for you!" I decide, bringing the empty mugs back into the kitchen. There I find Fai, sitting among a bag load of apples on the floor. As he sees me enter, the mage looks up to me and smiles stupidly.

"Sorry," he says, but doesn't mean it. I sigh frustratingly.

"Great. It's eight in the morning and you're already turning the house upside down," I say, placing the coffee plate on the counter and kneeling down to pick up the fruits. "And I was going to make a pie today. You ruined it."

"A pie?" Fai asks, suddenly interested. "The kind with a lot of sugar?"

"No, the kind with apples," I reply, throwing one at him to emphasize my point. "As if you need more sugar. Or coffee, for that matter."

"Yeah, where is my coffee?" the mage asks, trying to peek above the counter from his sitting position. I grin playfully.

"Kuro-woofy drank it."

"Nooooo! He didn't!" Fai exclaims, his eyes widening in mock shock. "How could he do this to me? I worked so hard for that coffee…" I scoff.

"All you did was sit on the counter and watch me make it," I say, and throw him another apple. This one, he catches.

"Awwww, is Raki-chan angry?" he says, taking a bite out of the fruit. I stick out my tongue at him.

"Yes. So no pie _or_ coffee for you!"

"You're a big meanie, you know that?" Fai laughs, finally helping me pick up the fallen apples.

"Aisha's a big meanie!" Mokona sings as he bounds into the kitchen.

"I am not!" I protest. "Now have an apple." Mokona opens his mouth wide and gulps down the round fruit in a second's time. I chuckle. Fai helps me gather all the apples in a large bowl, which I leave on the counter. The fruit doesn't seem very bruised, so I'll still be able to make my pie. I inform Fai of the happy news and he smiles.

"You planned all that stuff yesterday?" he asks, sounding impressed.

"Yup," I answer. "See, when my job is to buy the food, I buy actual _food_, that we are going to eat, that way we don't have to live on waffles and beans. Unlike _some people_, who decide beds aren't an important part of the furniture," I add, shooting Fai an accusing glance. The wizard shrugs carelessly.

"I forgot," is his only excuse. I scowl and slap him upside the head.

"That's for all your comments on cute girls yesterday," I inform him. Fai glances apprehensively back at me.

"What about forgetting the beds?" he asks.

"Oh, that's right. Here, I almost forgot," I say, and slap him upside the head again. "Happy now?"

"No," Fai says, laughing. I laugh with him and grab myself a coffee mug.

"So, what shall we do today?" I ask, leaning back against the counter. Fai shrugs.

"Well, I was thinking of going to the City Hall to ask about that thing last night," he says, "and then we could always buy clothes from this country."

"Hmmm. That's all nice, except that we have almost no money to shop," I notice, taking a long sip of black coffee. "And we need what we have left to furnish the house."

"We could always get a job," Fai says, not looking too enthusiast at the idea.

"Or…" I say on the tone of confidence, "we enroll Sakura in an underground gambling network and make lots of money!" I exclaim, lifting one arm up.

"Yay!" Fai joins in. "And then we get rich!"

"Millionaires!"

"Billionaires!"

"And then we can buy beds!"

"Lots of beds!"

"Woooooh!"

"What the hell are you guys scheming in there?" Kurogane calls out from the living room.

"Nothing!" I croon innocently. "We were just talking about how we were going to enroll Sakura in an underground gambling network so she can make us rich!"

"What the…? I don't even want to know…"

"But we might as well get jobs, until she wakes up," Fai says in a thoughtful pose.

"Oh, fine, be boring," I answer.

XxX

"Last night you were quite active, weren't you? You won a reward," the woman at City Hall greets us.

"Eh?" Syaoran asks, looking confused.

"What?" I echo, just as confused.

"Didn't you defeat a oni?" the woman asks, cocking her head curiously to the side. I think back to that monster last night – the one who busted my wall. So, that's an oni, huh? Well, that's interesting.

"That thing?" Fai asks, leaning against the desk. "It disappeared. How do you know that?" Now it's the woman's turn to look confused.

"It's the municipality's job to track the whereabouts of the oni," she says, as though it was obvious. I lift a confused eyebrow. If she says so…

"This so called 'oni'," Syaoran starts, "what kind of thing is it?" The woman turns around from her conversation with Fai and looks at us.

"Onis are enemies that appear in Outo country," she explains. "We must defeat them. They usually appear at night, but some will appear during the daytime. Their power is affected by the phases of the moon. When the moon waxes, their power increases. When the moon wanes, their power weakens." I frown. If there's creatures like the one we saw last night barging into people's houses at night, I wonder how they manage to sleep soundly…

"Those things seem to be everywhere, but you don't seem worried at all," Fai notices.

"That's because onis usually don't attack civilians," she replies. "We have pros to take care of them."

"Well, I guess we were the exception to the rule," I say, but get no response from the woman. Instead, she continues her explanation.

"These people are called 'oni hunters'. They earn money by defeating onis. The more powerful the oni you've defeated is, the more money you earn." She then reaches under her desk and grabs a book, which she opens and thumbs through. "The oni you've defeated is a class C, level 5," she says. "I believe you have the capability of being a oni hunter. Do you want to give it a try?" For some reason she keeps speaking to Fai, who simply drinks her words, still leaning on the desk.

"And this compares to other jobs…" he starts, clearly expecting her to end his sentence.

"You can earn money very quickly," she says.

"Syaoran-kun, Pinky-chan, what do you think?" Fai asks, turning towards us. I turn to Syaoran. After all, he's the unofficial leader of our group, being the one searching for the feathers and all. He seems to think for a few seconds, then turns towards the lady.

"Is this job good for collecting information?" he asks. Before her glazed expression, he quickly explains himself. "I'm looking for something. That's why I would like to find a job that would allow me to gather all kinds of information."

"Then being a oni hunter will be perfect for you," she answers with a smile. As she does, I can't help myself to think of a kindergarten teacher, trying to animate the lesson for her turbulent students. "You can get information from other oni hunters. Also, there are places that only oni hunters can enter. But…" she hesitates, and her features turn blank. "The profession is very dangerous." Syaoran nods.

"We will do it," he decides.

"Okay," the woman answers, and her smile appears again. Then, as though she had forgotten to tell us something, "Oh, and oni hunters must be a team of two people. And there can only be one team of oni hunters in a group. Who would you like to team up with?" she asks Syaoran. I lift up a tentative hand, signifying that I'd be ready to join. But before Syaoran can say anything, Fai intervenes.

"It will have to be Kuro-sama, of course!" he exclaims, laughing devilishly.

"But…" Syaoran protests, "We haven't asked Kurogane-san yet…"

"Well, Sakura-chan won't do," Fai explains, "and Mokona…"

"Mokona will cheer for you!" the fur-ball assures him.

"And if we leave Kuro-woofy out, he'll be mad for sure," Fai concludes with a smile. I frown.

"Is there a particular reason why I'm not even mentioned in there?" I ask. Fai smiles and winks in my direction.

"Raki-chan's too cute to fight monsters, don't you think?" is his answer.

"Yes, Aisha is very cute!" Mokona agrees, bouncing on my head. I look skeptically at Fai.

"I can take care of myself, thank you very much," I reply. He's about to reply when the woman behind the desk interrupts us.

"How about you?" she asks Fai. The mage turns around and stretches his arms across the desk, almost like a cat.

"I want a job that's relaxing, that doesn't require much work and that can gather a lot of information…" he lists lazily.

"There's one," she informs him.

"That's the one, then," he decides, just like that. I bow my head in defeat. I tried to get some common sense into that guy, I really have…

"But… you don't even know what kind of job it is yet!" Syaoran exclaims. I put a hand on his arm.

"Don't even try," I say. "He's hopeless." Fai hears this and turns towards the woman at the desk. He whispers something to her that I can't quite hear, and she whispers something back, jotting into her notebook like a madwoman. An even brighter smile lights his face.

"Good news!" he announces. "Strawberry and Sakura won't have to find a job!"

"And why is that?" I ask suspiciously. "Is this one of those macho male domination things? Cause if it is, I'm still getting a job no matter what you say."

"Oh, no, it's not that," Fai answers, and I can tell he's having a blast. "It's that I already found you a job!" I look at him suspiciously.

"And that job would be…?" I ask.

XxX

"This is ridiculous," I say, glancing at myself in the mirror. "I understand that you want us to be waitresses, but do you have to run a _maid café_?"

"But those outfits are so cute," Fai replies, appearing behind me in a tailored suit.

"It's not the outfits," I say, turning around to admire myself from all angles. "I actually don't mind wearing one of these; I've done it before. No, it's the whole fact that you're actually… gah, and I won't even say it."

"No, go ahead," he challenges me. "Pour your heart out."

"It's just the fact that you're opening a café, knowing that you have no experience whatsoever and neither does Sakura, and to top it off you're making your waitresses wear demeaning clothing," I say, shrugging. "It just doesn't seem like you're acting very smartly. Then again, it's you."

"If it's so demeaning, why did you wear one of those outfits before?" he asks curiously.

"There's absolutely nothing demeaning about wearing it for Halloween," I answer. "And if you must know, I've worked at a maid café before. Wearing the uniform for Halloween is actually what got me fired," I remember with a grin. "The manager didn't appreciate me 'making fun of the establishment' and so on."

"Does this look weird?" Syaoran asks as he bursts out of a changing room behind us. The boy is clad in a black pant and jacket, buttoned up to his neck.

"Nope," I answer, turning to face him. "And now that you're here I want to ask you about something." I twirl gracefully, producing a maid dress from behind my back and showing it off to him. "Now," I say, "does this dress look better with these shoes," I hand him a pair of black boots, "or these?" I produce a pair of Mary Janes, complete with white-laced socks. Syaoran looks down confusedly towards the footwear, clearly debating the relevance of my question.

"Umm," he hesitates, then lifts up the boots he's holding. "I'm going to say the boots." Judging by his tone I know he hasn't really thought this through, and he's probably making a wild guess. But it's the answer I was looking for, and I turn triumphantly towards Fai.

"Ah-HA!" I exclaim victoriously, pointing a finger at him. "I was right and you were wrong, and girls do have a better sense of style than boys!"

"But the other shoes go better with the whole maid theme," Fai protests.

"No excuses! Now bow down before me, you incompetent worm!" I exclaim teasingly. Mokona bounds from Fai's sleeve and lands on my head.

"Aisha is the queen, and Mokona is her trusted advisor!" he chirps. "We rule _all_, yay!"

"If you don't stop jumping on my head, you're going to end up as my _crown_," I correct, shaking him off. "You know I don't like that."

"Do you think we have enough clothing?" Syaoranasks, visibly eager to change the subject. I look around thoughtfully to the five piles of clothes on the floor.

"Well I definitely have enough," I say, pointing at my pile, "and I'd say I picked enough for Sakura. What about you, Fai-san?" The wizard shrugs.

"I have enough," he answers.

"Me too," Syaoran echoes. I look down to the largest pile, the one devoted to Kurogane's clothing.

"You guys think you got enough for Kuro-chii?" I ask. Fai smiles devilishly.

"Why, of course we have," is his answer. Suddenly suspicious, I grab the first shirt on the pile and examine it. It's a nondescript black t-shirt, of the kind Kurogane would like. But underneath it…

"Fai-saaaaaaaaaan," I moan, holding up the red shirt. "You know he'll never wear this." On the shirt is printed a large black sheep dog, holding a bone in his mouth. Fai chuckles innocently.

"Awwww, but it would be so _adorable_!" he says. I shake my head hopelessly.

"Are all the other things you picked out for him like that as well?" I ask. Faced with Fai's suspiciously innocent smile, I grab the entire pile and drop it in the 'discarded clothes' bin. The salesgirls can put it all back later.

"So," I conclude, "so far we have a black t-shirt for Kurogane. How about we just let him buy his own clothes?" I suggest, suddenly lazy. "He can go this afternoon."

"That would be great," Syaoran answers, obviously as tired as I am of shopping. "And we could set up shop in the meanwhile."

"Just what I was thinking," I agree. "Let's just go back to the house." I disappear into the small changing room to take off my dress. Like hell I'm going to walk around town with that thing.

We're not even in October.

XxX

I push open the door, grateful that we still have one. Honestly, I can live with a creep watching my every move, but I need a front wall to keep me from the neighbours.

Can you see the contradiction?

"We're back!" Fai announces, dragging his heavy bag across the floor.

"We're back!" Syaoran echoes, less forcefully. I don't say anything, opting for originality. Kurogane glares calmly at us from his corner, where he had been sitting when we left this morning. Same position and everything. God, if that guy has a life then I'm a kudan. Sakura is still on the couch huddled in her blanket, just how we left her as well. Fai skips happily towards the ninja, crouches in front of him and pats his head.

"Did Kuro-woofy stay home like a good boy?" he asks teasingly. Kurogane explodes.

"I told you! DON'T CALL ME LIKE A DOG!"

"Kergie-woggie, stop barking or mommy won't give you a cookie," I threaten playfully. "Now be a good boy and sit!"

"I'm not a damn dog!"

"Hey, we decided on our jobs," Fai informs him, changing the subject. Kurogane, suddenly interested, calms down and turns towards him.

"You did?" he asks. Fai nods eagerly.

"Syaoran-kun and Kuro-woofy," he explains enthusiastically, "will defeat onis to earn money." Kurogane frowns, confused.

"Kid, explain," he says, turning to Syaoran. Syaoran does so immediately. Fai watches them talk with an exaggerated mixture of big puppy eyes and a trembling lower lip. Honestly, that guy makes me think of a kid needing attention.

"Ow, Kuro-woofy doesn't care about me anymore!" he whines, overdramatically weeping. Barely containing a laugh, I pass a protective arm around his shoulders.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk," I say, pretending to be disappointed at Kurogane. "Shame on you for making him cry."

"STOP THIS NONSENSE ALREADY!" is the ninja's reply. This time, I can't stop myself from chuckling.

"Don't cry, Fai," Mokona says. "Kurogane's just a big bad meanie!"

"Yes," I agree, and in a deep, menacing voice I continue: "And we shall get revenge, oh yes we shall…"

"Promise?" Fai asks, suddenly looking hopeful. "Can it be really embarrassing?"

"Well of course it'll be embarrassing," I answer, shrugging. "If it's not, then there's no point."

"WILL YOU TWO JUST SHUT UP!" Kurogane yells. But we don't shut up – in fact, you could say we did the opposite. We happily babble about the worst possible thing we could do to Kurogane – until we decide the worst will be to let him find out by himself. Oh, I can just imagine his face when somebody calls him that on the street… ah, the infinite joy! My features fall a little when I remember my own naming predicament, but decide to forget about it for now. If nobody mentions it, it'll be as though nothing happened. Kurogane interrupts my train of thought.

"I see," he says, an evil smile stretching his lips. "Oni hunter, eh? Sounds interesting."

"See?" Fai tells Syaoran with a victorious smile. But Kurogane's smile disappears suddenly.

"But," he objects, looking at Syaoran, "will you be okay?"

"Eh?" the boy asks. Kurogane grunts.

"We don't know how powerful those oni things are yet. But there are people that specifically deal with them and they're paid to do it. Which means," the ninja concludes, "this job isn't for amateurs." He looks at Syaoran for a moment, before roughly grabbing the boy's hair and forcing him to look up.

"You," he says simply, then pauses. "Your right eye can't see anything." I exchange surprised glances with Fai, then look back at Syaoran. Though I've known him for a week now, I had never thought… He seemed all right… Kurogane speaks again.

"The first time I saw you fight," he says, "you used this thing called a kudan. Kudans are controlled through mind power. Even if your eye can't see, it wouldn't be a problem. And then Koryo country. When we arrived, the Ryanban's son instantly grabbed the princess's arm. You didn't show any sign that you saw it." I want to protest. Who could have missed that? It was pretty obvious from where I was laying down… but I let him continue. "But when that man hurt the princess, and showed his murderous aura… if you hadn't attacked right away, he might have used his whip to harm the princess. Precisely because you couldn't see, you reacted only to the murderous aura. You made the first move and knocked him down. And then there was that oni from yesterday. When it attacked from the right, your reaction was a bit slow." The ninja points at me. "If she hadn't been there, it could have been worst. And if the opponent is an even more powerful oni, it won't be just a scratch or two." Syaoran stares intently at the floor, then slowly looks up to Kurogane.

"I'll try not to cause you any trouble," he says determinedly. "Please," he adds softly, almost begging. This means so much to him…

"Kuro-sama, isn't that okay?" Fai chips in.

"Don't be heartless, Kuro-puu…" I add.

"Hmpf," is his only answer. Syaoran's face lights up.

"Thank you," he says. I smile myself, happy that everything worked out.

"And you don't have to worry," I tell Syaoran. "Every time you get hurt, it will be my pleasure to patch you up!"

"Mokona will help!" the fur-ball chirps. Syaoran smiles distractedly.

"Thank you, guys," he says, and I leave him to his thoughts.

"Okay," Fai announces, "let's get ready for business!" Kurogane frowns.

"What business?" he asks. I wink teasingly.

"You didn't think you guys would be the only breadwinners, did you?" I ask.

Kurogane grunts.

XxX

"Hey. Kid."

"Yeah?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. What makes you think that something's wrong, Kuro-chii?"

"The way you're acting."

"How am I acting? Can't you see my face? See, all smiles! Smiley, smiley!"

"That's exactly why I say something's wrong. You're too happy."

"Now, is there really such a thing, Kuro-puu?"

"You're living breathing proof that there is."

"Awwww, you're such an attentive puppy," I say playfully, and my smile fades off my face. I look around the room furtively, but we're alone in the kitchen. "Yeah, I was hoping you wouldn't notice," I sigh. Kurogane doesn't comment. I can't help but appreciate his muscular arms, crossed casually in front of his chest as a silent dare to anyone who would want to defy him. I'm no match for a guy like that. And it turns out I can't beat him at secrecy, either. Damn.

"So? What's wrong?" he asks again. I opt for a cover-up.

"You never struck me as the type to pry," I reply honestly. He grunts. I sigh again.

"I'm going to stand here until you talk to me," he informs me.

"Very well then," I say, and go back to my cooking. I'm attempting to cook a decent chicken for tonight, but I'm not sure if I'll manage to get the spices right – they look nothing like what we have back home. Oh well; I'll get Fai to taste it first. If he dies, I'll know it wasn't edible.

"You're homesick, aren't you?" Kurogane breaks the silence again. I freeze over my chicken. Am I that transparent?

"Since when do you care?" I reply, perhaps a bit too harshly. He doesn't answer. I sigh.

"Okay, so maybe I am," I admit. "But you know… it's been a week and… I'm getting… it's been a week," I repeat, as though it explained everything. The ninja walks up behind me and leans in closer.

"If you want me to train you, show up tomorrow night at eight," he says. I jump, surprised by his offer. He has to be joking, I decide – but when I turn around, his face is dead serious. "I'm planning to help the other kid," he explains, "so I thought you'd like to join in." My face splits with a smile.

"I'd love to," I answer. "And don't worry, I promise not to hurt Syaoran too much." The ninja eyes me suspiciously.

"Don't make me regret this," he cautions, but I'm not listening to him. As my hands expertly dose those spices I've never heard of, I find myself doing something I haven't done in days: through the kitchen rises the happy sound of my singing.

XxX

"Well, hello there, Sleeping Beauty!" I greet Sakura as she lifts a disheveled head from under her covers. "Don't let me wake you up, I'm sure another twelve hours of sleep wouldn't do you any harm."

"Oh? Are you awake?" Syaoran asks, peeking behind the counter with a smile.

"Hmm… huh?" is all that seems to come to her. I chuckle, throwing a drape in Kurogane's direction. The ninja catches it expertly and proceeds to hanging it from its rod above the window.

"We used the money that we got from defeating the kiji last night to prepare all these," Fai explains to the princess, but only managing to confuse her even more.

"And we bought all these pretty clothes!" I exclaim, opening my arms wide and pirouetting between two tables. I'm not in my maid outfit yet – no point in wearing it out of work hours – but I've changed into a loose summer dress.

"Though I'm still wondering how to wear that thing Kuro-pon is wearing," Fai adds.

"It's a hakama," the ninja replies out of habit. Fai has exhausted us all with his constant remarks about Kurogane's pleated pants, and we don't even bother explaining any more. I remember seeing that type of clothing in history books and graphic novels, but I had never actually _seen_ anyone wearing it.

"Kurogane-san," Syaoran asks suddenly, "do the clothes in your country look like this?"

"Yeah, more or less," he answers. "And," he continues after a moment's thought, "what's that thing you're wearing?" he asks Fai. The wizard smiles.

"That's what I have to wear for my job," he explains. "See, I want to open a café here," he continues, more for Sakura than for anyone else. "We can gather all sorts of information from the customers this way. That's what the girl from City Hall said."

"Yeah, she's your new buddy now, isn't she?" I say, pulling a table across the room. Fai turns towards me.

"Are we jealous?" he asks teasingly.

"Oh, just shut up." Fai turns towards the princess with a victorious grin.

"Let's start this café together, Sakura-chan," he says, opening his arm to include me. "All three of us."

"Mokona wants to do this too!" the fur-ball exclaims. I laugh.

"Okay, all four of us then. It's not like you're going to do much besides being our mascot," I say. Sakura frowns a moment, then lights up with a smile. She answers Fai's bow with her own.

"Okay," she says. "I've never done this before, but I'll work very hard," she assures us. I grab her arm and force her up.

"You don't have to bow to him," I say. "Actually, you don't have to bow at all." Sakura turns towards me.

"Sorry," she says sheepishly. I sigh and ruffle her hair.

"Don't say sorry either."

"Alright, then let's hurry up and change!" Fai says joyfully, pulling a large bag from behind our new counter.

"Eh?" Sakura asks nervously, but before she can react she is thrust into a room to change.

"Of course, we must have a waitress in the café!" Fai explains to her across the door.

"Yup!" Mokona agrees. Fai looks at me expectantly and cocks his head to the side. I snicker.

"Oh yeah, fat chance," I answer to his silent question. "As long as I have no reason to wear it, I'm not wearing it." Fai retreats to his corner to fake-cry, as the rest of us wait for Sakura to come out. Finally, a timid head pokes out from the other room.

"Ummm… can I come out?" she asks hesitantly.

"Yes!" Fai sings joyfully. "Our wonderful waitress has arrived!" Sakura slowly steps out of the room, timidly bringing a hand to her mouth and blushing. When Syaoran sees her in her maid outfit, I think he's going to explode. First his eyes bug out slightly, then his mouth twitches, and then his face becomes covered in the most vibrant hue of red you can think of. He starts slightly as she approaches him.

"Is this… strange?" she asks softly. The boy quickly shakes his head negatively. It doesn't look strange at all on her, actually, and I take part of the credit for that – Aisha Kazumi, fashionista _extraordinaire_, at your service – but her natural cuteness has a lot to play for her. Dressed like that, she looks like a doll. Any other girl – I include myself – would look like a maid. (Some manage to look like _French_ maids, but that's beside the point. And I can tell you right now; I don't fit in that category.)

"Is Syaoran-kun doing this as well?" she asks in her same timid voice.

"No, Kurogane-san and I will be doing some other work," Syaoran answers. Sakura brings her hand to her heart worriedly, and I force myself not to listen to the rest of their conversation. It's their business. Though they are _so cute! _

"Mekkyo!" Mokona chirps. I look at him strangely. His eyes have suddenly opened and bugged out, showing creepily large irises. What the…? The fur-ball's mouth opens wide and out comes a gust of wind. Slowly materializing itself from it is a plate, covered in small brown pastries, and still warm. The plate lands on a table nearby.

"Oooh! What are these?" Fai asks, leaning past me to better check them out.

"These are from Yuuko!" Mokona answers cheerfully. I wince. That witch sent us something? To eat? Is she crazy?

"Are they for free?" Fai exclaims hopefully.

"No way that witch would give anything for free," Kurogane comments sternly.

"You don't think she poisoned them, do you?" I ask, leaning over to observe them closely. The smell of chocolate immediately conquers my nostrils, sending my body on a demented craving. Damn… it!

"But they look delicious!" Fai protests, as though something that looks so delicious could not possibly be poisoned.

"These are chocolate fondants!" Mokona explains. "There's chocolate inside, so you should eat it while it's hot!"

"Good timing! Everyone, let's eat!" Fai announces, bringing over a plate of hot chocolate. Sakura grabs the plates, as I catch myself onto a table to keep myself from jumping on the lovely chocolate treats.

"Um… are you positively sure there's no catch to this?" I ask the fur-ball. Mokona shakes his head.

"No! Yuuko wouldn't do that!" he assures me. I doubt it, but I still take one and stuff it into my mouth, oblivious to the plate and cutlery Sakura is passing around. The sweet cake exterior is nothing compared to the warm and indulgent taste of the chocolate sauce inside it, as it melts on my tongue in sugary bliss.

"Oh my God, these are delicious!" I cry out, and have to catch myself not to raid the entire plate.

"They are, aren't they?" Sakura agrees, though she only took a bite out of hers. Syaoran nods. As Sakura turns her back to us, I nudge the boy in the ribs.

"Sakura's really cute, isn't she?" I whisper teasingly. Syaoran blushes furiously, and I chuckle. The only one staying away from our little circle is Kurogane, who makes a point to turn his back to us.

"I don't want it," he says. Stealthily, a dumb smile lighting his face, Fai forks out a bite from the last fondant and approaches the ninja. In one swift movement, he forces the chocolate cake in the man's mouth. Seemingly against his own will, the ninja swallows it. He then glares at Fai.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" he yells loud enough to wake up the dead. Fai doesn't answer, but his smile grows wider.

"Kurogane ate it!" Mokona chirps happily. "I must tell Yuuko!" The ninja looks as though he's about to viciously murder the fur-ball. Before Mokona can suffer permanent damage, I intervene.

"Kuro-muy, don't hurt poor Moko-chan. After all, he's only stating a fact."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"That you ate it, and you liked it, and all you have to do is admit it!" I sing.

"SHADDUP!"

"But it's true, isn't it, Fai-san?"

"Well of course! Kuro-puppy _loved_ the chocolate fondants so much that we're going to make a whole lot of them just for him!" the wizard agrees.

"I didn't like it, you bastard!"

"Awwww, he's blushing!"

"I said SHADDUP!"

XxX

I spend the rest of the evening trying to get the recipe just right. To be fair, Fai's doing most of the cooking, but I'm still helping. Mokona has been trying to explain the recipe to us, but it's a bit hard to work with ingredients you've never heard of – though my chicken turned out fine, if you must know.

"Fai-san, pass me the chocolate!"

"Chocolate passed! Could you hand me the milk?"

"Milk has reached its destination. Moko-chan, eggs!"

"Eggs!"

"Sakura-chan, could you pass me the cooking pan, please?"

"Of course! Do you need the butter yet, Aisha?"

"Please and thank you!"

You get the idea. The entire evening passes surprisingly fast. Syaoran and Kurogane left not long after we ate the fondants to go stalk out the best spots for oni-hunting, so we've been left to organize the restaurant by ourselves. There's not that much to do anymore, so once the fondants were done, we decided to just chill around. I'm sitting at a table, talking to Sakura about random things – mostly our lives before the whole dimension thing. She doesn't remember much, but it's fun making up stories, especially with her big brother. He's the overprotective type, but I like to make him a klutz, deeply embarrassed by his childhood sweetheart. Sakura just laughs, as though she knows something that I don't, but when I ask her about it she says she can't be sure about it, that it's just a feeling she has. I'll get to know it soon enough…

As for Fai, he set up a few large white sheets of paper on the floor, and has proceeded to paint on them with black ink.

"Meow!" he sings happily as Mokona dances on his head. "Meow, meow, meow!" Suddenly, the door bursts open and lets through a fuming Kurogane.

"YOU BASTARD!" he yells angrily, pointing at Fai. I can't help a teasing grin to grow on my face. I guess he found out, after all…

"Welcome back!" Fai greets, as Syaoran slips inside unnoticed, followed by a large dog.

"How dare you give me that weird name!" the ninja exclaims, visibly barely containing himself.

"That girl working at City Hall said that we can use pseudonyms," Fai explains, oblivious to Kurogane's attempts not to kill him. "But I don't know the language of the country, so…" he leans down over his papers and starts painting madly, in quick strokes. A few seconds later, he proudly exhibits the page, now ornate with two dogs – one big, black and furry, and the other smaller and definitely cuter. "I drew this!" Fai announces. "So the names become 'Big doggy'," he points Kurogane, "and 'Little doggy'," he points towards Syaoran. I don't know which face is more laughable; Syaoran's adorably confused face, or Kurogane's astonished _'you've got to be kidding me'_ expression.

"And," Fai continues, ignoring them, "I'm this and… Sakura-chan is this." He finishes painting the silhouettes of two cats on a blank page. "'Big kitty' and 'Little kitty'!" Sakura brings her hand to her mouth and blushes slightly at the announcement of her new name.

"So the café's sign will be like this," he tells us, and holds up a wooden sign ornate with a cat's face. I had caught a glimpse of the page before it was handed in, so I suspected it all. But now I know what's coming up, and I don't like it…

"And Raki-chan has one too!" Fai croons, and I blush furiously against my will. I don't want to know, I don't want to see it… "Little birdy!" the wizard exclaims, showing off the picture of a small bird, holding what looks like a berry in its beak. I look closely at the berry; it's a mix between a carrot and a strawberry, and I can imagine the deep red colouration it must have in real life.

"That wouldn't be a raki seed, by any chance?" I ask, already knowing the answer. Fai smiles stupidly.

"Raki-birdy-chan!" he exclaims, as though that was an answer. I glare at him.

"Damn you…!" Kurogane growls, angrily unsheathing his katana. He then lashes out to the wizard, swinging his sword in every direction. Fai runs away, a dumb smile on his face.

"Is your brain only filled with rubbish? Let me cut it out and clean it for you!" the ninja yells.

"Wah! Big doggy is mad!" Fai exclaims playfully.

"Run, Fai, run!" I yell, encouraging them on. "Kuro-sama, you can do this! Get him!"

"Who the hell are you cheering for?" the ninja asks, but I shrug.

"No one. I just figure that the longer it lasts, the longer I'm entertained," is my answer. I quickly turn to the others under the ninja's furious screams. I'm surprised to find two strangers at the door; one is a tall, handsome man with dark hair, and the other is a girl about Sakura's age, clad in a sailor uniform. The big dog I had seen earlier is sitting next to them, his pink tongue hanging on one side of its mouth.

"Wow, this is a very cute café!" the girl exclaims. "Your place is great, 'Little doggy'-san!"

"Eh… er…no…" Syaoran protests, and I decide to jump in.

"Are these oni hunters too?" I ask, one fist on my hip. The girl answers before Syaoran has a chance to.

"Yes, we are," she says, eying me curiously. "Are you a waitress here?"

"Waitress, cook, whatever I have to be," I answer casually. "What's your name?"

"Nekoi Yuzuriha, 14 years old, oni hunter!" she enthusiastically introduces herself.

"Aisha Kazumi, 17 years old, waitress, cook, and," I designate the boys, still running about the house in a wild chase, "part-time mother." Yuzuriha laughs.

"This is my partner, Shiyuu Kusanagi," she says, pointing the tall man beside her.

"And this is my colleague in crime, the lovely…" I wait for Sakura to introduce herself. Finally grasping the message, she finally utters a timid: "Sakura-chan."

"It smells good!" her partner notices, picking up the fumes from the kitchen.

"I – we made some chocolate fondants," Fai says, ducking under Kurogane's arm. "Our café will be in business tomorrow. If you don't mind, please try some now."

"We'd love to!" both newcomers exclaim at once. Yuzuriha happily skips to the counter, but Kusanagi waits behind a second.

"Sorry, 'Big doggy'," he says nervously.

"I'M NOT A DOGGY!"

"If I can be a bird, you can be a dog," I reply, and head for the kitchen. The fondants are still there, warm and moist. It takes a surprising effort of will-power not to eat one right here and now. Fortunately, Sakura comes to my rescue.

"Do you need any help?" she asks, poking her head in the kitchen. I nod and hand her the plate.

"If I have to look at them one more second, I'll eat them all," I explain.

"You like chocolate?" Sakura asks, taking the plate from me. I nod shamefully.

"I'm _obsessed_ with chocolate," I admit. "And you don't want to see me on a sugar rush, it's not pretty." She giggles, adding some cream to the small plates. She then takes a third cake, puts it on a plate and hands it to me.

"There's no problem if you eat just one," she says. I hurriedly grab the plate, and picking the cake apart with my fingers, I smile at her.

"Thanks," I say. She shrugs.

"No problem!"

The sugar melts on my tongue as I lick my fingers, careful not to let the slightest bit of chocolate escape me. Fai enters the kitchen just then, a bit breathless from all his running. Sakura avoids him by an inch as she makes her way to the counter to serve the cakes. I lick my fingers one last time and look up to Fai.

"You, sir," I say, "are the best cook in the universe!" Fai's eyes widen a bit, but his face is quickly lit up by a smile.

"You like it?" he asks. I nod.

"Actually, I would have liked it anyway, since it's chocolate. But these are amazing!" I say.

"Thank you," he says. I smile back at him.

"Just don't give me too much, or you'll regret it," I warn.

"Maybe I will," Fai replies. "You might be fun when you're on a high!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Mokona wants chocolate too!" the fur-ball interrupts. I catch him and laugh.

"Fine, you can have one too," I say, and he sucks it in like a vacuum.

"Yummy!" the exclamation diverts us from our conversation. Yuzuriha has just started eating her cake.

"Really? That's great! Fai exclaims, turning towards our guests. "I followed Mokona's advice and added some cream." Kusanagi takes a second bite and smiles.

"A great café is starting in business," he says. "We must tell the other oni hunters!" Sakura appears behind me with two teacups, and puts them on the counter. A steaming tea is filling them.

"Thank you!" Yuzuhira says. Sakura bows slightly. "You guys just arrived to Outo Country, right?"

"Yes, we arrived yesterday," Sakura answers with a smile.

"Those so-called oni broke into our home right after we move in. That really took us by surprise," Fai adds. A sudden thought seems to occur to him. "When the girl at City Hall explained to us about oni, she mentioned something about a class of oni."

"Yup!" Yuzuhira answers enthusiastically. "The power of the oni is divided in seven classes. 'A' is the more powerful, followed by 'B', 'C', 'D', 'E', 'F' and 'G', in descending order. Within it, each class is further divided into five levels." She takes a breath, and I notice that the entire room is suspended to her lips, listening to everything she says. "For example, class 'E' level 1 is the most powerful 'E' oni. Class 'E' level 5 is the weakest 'E' oni."

"That means," Syaoran interrupts, " that the strongest ones are 'A' level 1."

"Yup! Everyone is working really hard so that they can defeat an 'A' level 1 oni someday!" Yuzuhira exclaims.

"That means," Fai jumps in, "the 'C' level 5 from last night was somewhere in the middle of the scale." Kusanagi seems perplexed.

"But that's strange," he says. "The ones who invade people's homes should be at least a 'B'…" I lift my head up at the information, and I can see that Kurogane has become suddenly interested too. I don't have time to ask any questions; the dog, who had been calmly sitting besides his masters, suddenly lifts his nose up in the air. Yuzuhira notices it, and automatically jumps off her chair.

"Another oni appeared nearby!" she exclaims, and Kusanagi gets up behind her. Before our confused glances, she explains: "He can sense the presence of onis," she says of the dog.

"Thanks for your treat," Kusanagi says.

"It was super delicious!" Yuzuhira agrees.

"How much is it?" Kusanagi asks.

"It's on the house," Fai answers. "Come back next time and tell us more things, okay?" Kusanagi smiles.

"Yeah, we'll definitely come back," he assures us.

"Bring friends!" I urge.

"We will," he says.

"See ya!" Yuzuhira calls out to Sakura before moving out. The princess smiles back.

"Bye!" she answers. The oni hunters leave hurriedly, not willing to let their prey escape. I stretch, trying to think of something to do now that all the excitement has died out.

"Looks like we have regular customers," Fai says. "Right, 'Big doggy'?" I barely have the time to see the gleam of Kurogane's katana before it swings at two inches from my head and in Fai's direction. The wizard dodges it effortlessly, and proceeds to run about the house in a crazy race against the ninja. I sigh.

"Mokona," Syaoran says, "can you sense the power of the feather?" Mokona looks down.

"I can sense it, but it's very weak," he admits. "I can't even pinpoint the location." Syaoran smiles reassuringly.

"We should be able to gather more information by working as oni hunters," he reassures the little guy. "We will definitely find out more."

"Mokona will also try his hardest to pinpoint the location of the feather!" the fur-ball assures him.

"And I will get as much information from our customers as humanely possible!" I cheer. "Together, there is no possible way we could miss that feather!" Syoaran's smile alone in that moment would have been enough to replace the sun.

XxX

"We've been here one day and we already have laundry," I grumble, carrying the large basket to the laundry room. I don't know why I've been appointed the cleaning lady – it just happened. All I know is that there is no way the blood stains on Kurogane's cloak are coming off, not as dried as they are. He won't even tell me how it happened; he just mumbles something about fighting off a group of assassins last week. Honestly, I don't want to know what happened to those assassins. I almost pity them.

When I pass in front of the room I share with Sakura and Syaoran, I almost bump into the ninja. He had been hidden so well within the shadows that I hadn't seen him. Looking further, I can make out Fai's silhouette on the other side of the door, like a silent guard. I frown for a second, but the voice rising from the room answers my question.

"When did Syaoran-kun and I first meet?" Sakura cries from the dark room. "Did we know each other since we are very young? Doesn't that mean you're a very important person to me-" Although I expect it, my heart still wrenches at the sound of her small hiccup, before the princess falls back onto the mattress.

"Princess!" Syaoran yells in alarm. In the hallway, nobody moves. We all wait where we are, not daring to make a movement. The princess's voice rises again, soft and hesitant.

"What… was I… saying?" she asks. I want to cry. "Ah yes," she continues. "I wanted to say I'm sorry…" A few seconds pass before Kurogane speaks.

"What was that?" he asks. I don't answer, unsure of my own words. But Fai seems to know what he's talking about.

"The so-called price," he says, "is not as simple as you think. Even if someone told Sakura-chan what happened between her and Syaoran-kun, it will immediately be erased from her memory." I look down at my laundry basket. So it's true, what I thought… it's true, and yet I wish it wasn't. "The same thing will happen even if Sakura-chan herself recalls it," Fai continues. "Perhaps Syaoran already knew it would turn out this way." I look inside the room and see Syaoran's form desperately hugging Sakura's body. She's fallen asleep again, as I can tell by her steady breathing.

"Even as he searches for all the feathers…once Sakura-chan recovers all her memories… even thought she might doubt about her relationship with Syaoran, the price paid is gone forever." Kurogane seems to finally understand something.

"That's why the kid never told the princess about her relationship with her," he says. I find myself hoping desperately for my kudan, even more than when I almost died in Koryo. To send her there, to comfort him even a little bit, without forcing my presence on him – those are the things I miss most about my spirit guardian. I wish she were still here. But I would give her away without a second thought to go back home, and have everything as it should be. Fai's voice rings again in my mind: _"The price paid is gone forever." _

They'll never remember me. We'll never be a family again. In a way, my price is worst than Syaoran's… I take another look in the dark room, and mentally slap myself. This shouldn't be a competition of who got it worst. He's suffering just as much as I am.

"Even so," Fai continues my thought as though he could read it, "he will do what he has decided to do, won't he?" I nod slowly, staring intently inside the room.

"Yes," I whisper. We all will.

XxX

Syaoran and Sakura are sleeping. I made sure of that before leaving the room.

I hug my legs and huddle on the living room couch, the way I did so many years ago, when I was forced to reveal my biggest secret to my best friends. I close my eyes and breathe deeply, willing the tears to stay back. I don't want to cry myself to sleep another night.

I can almost feel Kento's arms around me, rocking me back and forth like that fateful night when I was twelve. I wish for his arms around me, comforting me. I know it's never going to happen.

I want to cry.

Suddenly, a dark shape appears in my vision. I don't move. I've recognized Kurogane's strong gait.

The ninja sits on the ground, in front of me and a little to the side. I don't say anything. Neither does he.

From behind me, I sense Fai's presence. His magic is now as distinct to me as the smell of lilac, and twice as sweet.

I like that magic.

Surprisingly enough, Fai says nothing. Words seem out of place here, in this dark room. And we stay there, three silent beings, until the horizon becomes pink and starts to expand.

Kurogane's silhouette, and Fai's magic presence. That's all I know of them tonight. But I can think a whole lot in one night. And I've started to think that maybe Yuuko isn't so bad of a person after all.

That witch knew what she was doing when she selected our prices. She hit us hard, all of us.

But she gave us each other for comfort.


	19. Test of Strength

I DON'T OWN TRC!!!!

Outo, Outo, Outo…. I'm going to be so sad when they finally leave this world…. Sighs…..

Oh, and is it just me or are these chapters getting longer? A mystery….

________________________________________________________________________

"Oh, Raki-birdy-chan! Hurry up! Breakfast is ready, and we open today!" Fai calls in an overjoyed voice. I grumble, shutting down the water and slipping out of the shower. I haven't taken a shower in days; I'm sweaty, gross, and my hair is all greasy, and I can't even take a 10-minute shower! Seriously…

"I'm coming!" I call back, drying my hair as fast as I can with a towel. Thankfully it's short, so it'll dry on its own. I hurriedly pull my maid outfit over my head, cursing aloud against the lace that keeps getting stuck in my barrette. The apron and the boots find their places on the way down the stairs. My left boot gets caught and won't go up. I wind up hopping on one foot to the counter, where a breakfast plate is already waiting for me. I look down to the plate in surprise.

"How the hell do you cook all that in five minutes?" I ask, but all Fai does is smile. I look down at the pancakes and the steaming hot chocolate, not to mention homemade fries and syrup.

"Seriously," I repeat, "how could you do that?" Fai smiles again, but finally speaks.

"I'm a fast cook," is his answer. I sit down on a bench and grab a fry between two finger.

"You made half of it last night, didn't you?" I ask, popping the fry in my mouth. Fai nods sheepishly.

"I wanted to have time to make your pancakes," he says, and I look at him strangely.

"What's wrong with my pancakes?" I ask suspiciously. He scoffs.

"Why do you always assume that I'll do something wrong?" he asks, and I see his lower lips tremble. I sigh and bow my head with a small smile.

"Okay, fine. Then what's _special_ about my pancakes?" I try again, but Fai only smiles devilishly. I look down at my plate and notice the fork and knife in a corner, besides the pancakes. I sigh. I'll never be able to finish this meal… Hesitantly, my knife cuts through my pancake. There's barely a resistance, and I find with pleasure that I'll probably be able to eat this properly enough. I bring the piece to my mouth, when my eyes fall upon the blade of my knife. Small brown streams soil the knife, and a sweet, chocolaty flavor erupts in my mouth. My face lights up and I look up to Fai.

"You put chocolate chips in there! You bastard!" I exclaim joyfully. "You're trying to give me a sugar rush, admit it!" Fai grimaces.

"Okay, so you caught me," he admits, lifting his hands up in surrender. "Though I doubt a few chocolate chips are enough to get you hyper." I'm about to reply when I hear footsteps above our heads. _'Tap. Tap, tap, Crash! Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.'_ I can't help but giggle in my plate.

"I think Sakura's up," I say.

"Good morning!" she exclaims just then, bursting into the room. I can see a bump on her head where she hit herself.

"Good morning, Sakura-chan!" Fai exclaims.

"Hey," I echo, waving.

"I'm sorry I overslept!" she says, rubbing her eyes in emphasis. I distractedly check the clock. It's only 8:30 in the morning.

"That's alright," Fai chirps, pouring Sakura some hot chocolate, "we haven't decided our operating hours yet. Not to mention you haven't fully recovered." Sakura looks up, her face determined.

"Starting tomorrow, I'll make myself get up early everyday!" she vows.

"Yay! We'll cheer for you!" Fai sings in the background.

"Your own personal pep squad!" I join in, my mouth full. We cheer together for a few more seconds until Sakura breaks our joyful assembly.

"Where are Mokona, Syaoran-kun and Kurogane-san?" she asks. I swallow my pancake hurriedly.

"They went to the City Hall," I answer, taking a sip of hot chocolate.

"Last night, onis appeared again," Fai explains. "They defeated them… That's why they went to City Hall to collect their earnings."

"Last night?" she repeats, worried.

"Yup," Fai says, picking up a few spices from the self behind him. "You fell asleep, that's why you didn't know."

"Are they hurt?" She asks, leaning against the counter towards Fai.

"Syaoran-kun's fine," He answers while contemplating the benefits of one container versus another. I clear my throat.

"I wouldn't say he's _fine_," I reply, then under Sakura's panicked eyes I rephrase myself. "He's okay, it's just a little bump. And he wasn't fighting oni; he tripped over my bed when he came back last night." I smile, remembering the boy's startled expression as I shot up with a surprised shriek, nearly making him fall off my bed. I don't blame myself though: I mean, he _fell_ on me! He's just lucky I didn't hit him.

"Oh," Sakura says, and I see her sigh in relief. I kind of feel bad for making her worry that way, but I just had to put my two cents in.

"Are you worried?" Fai asks, turning back to us.

"Yes…" Sakura admits. "Syaoran-kun tries so hard to get my memories back, but I can't do anything for him," she deplores. I look down at my plate and bite my lip. Sakura brings her hands to her heart and continues: "Sometimes, Syaoran-kun looks like he's very lonely…" she trails off. A small smile plays on Fai's lips.

"You can…" He starts.

"Huh?" She asks.

"There are things you can do to help," He says, shooting her a sideways glance. "Sakura-chan, you can smile at him. To Syaoran-kun, Sakura's smile is the best energy source, and," He continues, bringing another breakfast plate to the counter, "this is Sakura-chan's energy source. You are hungry, aren't you? Eat up!" I smile in my own plate. You can count on Fai to ruin a perfectly good sentimental moment with something as trivial as breakfast. Sakura doesn't seem to notice.

"Thank you!" She says, and I can't be sure if it's for the breakfast or the advice as I finish up the last few bites in my plate, she begins hers.

"It's good!" She exclaims, sounding almost surprised.

"Really?" Fai asks, leaning against the counter.

"Fai-san, you are great!" She answers. "Not only you can draw but you can cook!" The wizard seems pleased with the compliments.

"Don't compliment him to much," I caution. "His head will bloat so much we'll have to pop it like a balloon."

"Well, knowing how to draw is crucial to setting up magical wards," the blond explains, seemingly ignoring me. "As for cooking, it's similar to making potions." He shoots me a playful glance. "Oh, and if you must know, my head is perfectly fine the way it is – bloated and all." I can't stop myself from laughing.

"You're a good cook," I admit, "but I have doubts on your artistic talents." Fai nods in agreement.

"Everyone likes my cooking," He says, looking pensively at the ceiling. "Mokona, Syaoran-kun, Raki-chan, everyone except 'Big doggy!"

"Big doggy doesn't appreciate sugar the way I do!" I conclude, getting up. "And speaking of sugar, let's cook in case we get customers today!"

"Okay!" Fai agrees. "I'll make cake if you make your apple pie!"

"Deal!"

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Sakura asks timidly. I nod.

"There certainly is," I say, and she nods in turn, ready for my instructions. I smile. "Eat!" I say simply. "You need your strength and Fai-san would never get over it if you didn't finish your plate." She seems a little disappointed at my request, but hurriedly digs into her plate. I go around the counter and into the kitchen to clean my own plate.

"Hey Fai," I call out, without turning around to look at him, "why did you tell Sakura that she could sleep in as much as she wanted but I was only given five minutes to shower?" I get no answer, but I can almost feel him shifting through his head for a valid excuse. I smile devilishly as the tap water starts to run. I can think very easily as I cook, and that pie will probably take at least an hour… Plenty of time to plot revenge.

XxX

"We're back!" Syaoran calls as he opens the door.

"Welcome back!" Fai answers.

"Welcome back!" Sakura echoes, looking up from her bread-in-the-making.

"We're back," Syaoran repeats, blushing slightly. I smile, but then reality hits – and my reality, right now, is a bowl of half-cut apples. I've been working on them for the past twenty minutes, peeling the skin off and cutting them into small pieces.

"So how was it?" I ask a scowling, stomping Kurogane. The ninja grumbles something about an Intelligence Seller, two maniacs with sticks, and paying too much for a damn circle on a map.

"Is Kuro-doggy still mad?" Fai makes the mistake of asking. Kurogane snaps, almost sending my apples flying with the hilt of his sword.

"DON'T CALL ME DOGGY!" He yells, even louder than usual, then storms off to the opposite side of the room. We watch him stomp angrily around the room, muttering strange words and pacing back and forth around the sofa.

"What happened?" Sakura asks Syaoran. The boy sighs.

"Er, well," he starts, shooting the ninja a worried glance, "We went to the City Hall again before we came back. Kurogane-san wanted to go to the Suguyaru department to change his registered name, but…" He trails off and shoots another glance at Kurogane. His voice lowers to a whisper. "You can't. If you want to change your name, you have to reenter the country once more, but if you do that, then all the money you've earned becomes invalid."

I try very hard not to laugh, but fail. Fai, who was listening as well, joins me. I imagine Kurogane's face as he learns the news, and my laugh becomes practically hysterical. I only see Kurogane when he's a few paces away. In a burst of survival instinct, I run in the opposite direction; Kurogane's katana whistles next to my ears. I sneak a peek behind my shoulder and see that Fai is hot on my trail.

"WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT!" The ninja yells. "EVEN THE GIRL AT THE INTELLIGENCE HOUSE KNOWS ABOUT IT! WHY YOU!" I duck under a table and slip away behind the counter, howling in laughter. Kurogane keeps running after Fai, oblivious to my departure.

"Big doggy's mad!" I sing, soon joined by Mokona. "He's very, very angry!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

"And he's going to massacre Fai-san!" I chirp joyfully. "How unfortunate!"

"I am so loved," Fai teases as he dodges yet another swing from Kurogane's katana.

"Okay, so what happened?" I ask Syaoran, now ignoring the two figures yelling and running and cursing across the dining room. The boy sends a nervous glance to the two men before answering.

"We… um… went to City Hall this morning, and they told us that to get information about any unsolved mystery or strange case, we had to consult the Intelligence House. So we went, and then…" he tells us the story of how they were greeted by two guys with sticks, only to find out they were employed at the Intelligence House – to test those who wanted information. Hey, you wouldn't want to give important information to sissies. And so Erii – the Intelligence Seller – told them about the oni's weird behavior these days; they appear at places they shouldn't, or during the day. Also, there's apparently a new oni around. No hunter has seen it yet, but rumor says that it's very beautiful.

"She showed us were it is was on the map," he concludes, holding up a map of what appears to be Outo seen from the sky. "The place where they saw the new oni. It's a club," he says, pointing to an inked circle around a building. I lean in and see a group of black stylized letters. I point to the circle.

"Translate please," I say. Syaoran turns the map towards him and opens his mouth.

"Clover Bar," he reads slowly. I frown.

"So you guys are going to a bar?" I ask, looking up suspiciously towards Syaoran. "Do you think they'll let you in?" Syaoran looks down at the map again, then at me with a puzzled expression.

"It isn't right?" He asks, and I remember that I'm talking to someone who doesn't necessarily know the things I take for granted. I sigh.

"Well, it's not usually a place for kids," I explain, shrugging. "And they usually have a minimum age if you want to go in. Heck, I'm not even old enough, where I come from."

"Oh," Syaoran understands, looking down pensively at the floor.

"What's so bad about these places?" Sakura asks. I shrug.

"It's not that it's so bad," I say, "it's mostly because they serve alcohol. But they still don't let anyone under 18 go in, just because." A short silence takes over our small group, as the men's screaming get louder.

"But then, who will go with Kurogane-san?" Syaoran asks. "He can't go by himself." I think for a second. Well, there is one other possibility…

"Hey Fai-san," I call out. The wizard stops brusquely, forcing Kurogane to enter in collision with him. Before the ninja can rip anyone's head off, I ask: "How would you like to go to a bar tonight?" Fai seems to think about it for a few seconds, while Kurogane is distracted by Mokona. Then the mage's face lights up with a dumb smile.

"A bar? With alcohol?" He asks. I nod.

"I know I'll probably regret it," I say, "But you're the only one who's old enough to go with Kuro-kun." From the corner of my eye, I see Kurogane twitch violently. He points furiously to Fai.

"I'm not going anywhere with that guy!" He says. I chuckle.

"You don't really have a choice," I point out. "At this point I think Fai will follow you whatever you say." The mage nods enthusiastically.

"Oh yes, I'd be ready to brave the hurricane of Kuro-tan's fury to go to that bar," He agrees. His face becomes devilish. "I bet there's a lot of cute girls there!"

"Shut up," Both me and Kurogane say plainly.

"So it's decided then!" Sakura exclaims, clapping. "Me, Syaoran-kun and Aisha will look after the café!"

"And we promise it'll still be standing when you come back," I add, a devilish smile across my face. I then turn to Syaoran. "I hope you're good with a hammer and plaster." Before his panicked expression, I laugh.

"We… um… Aisha-san…" He stutters and I laugh even harder.

"We won't do anything stupid," I reassure him, shaking my head. "Honestly, I'm more worried about these two over there," I point out Fai and Kurogane. The ninja scowls. But before he can say anything, I breathe in something suspicious in the air. Kurogane seems to see it too, because he suddenly lifts his nose up and sniffs. Fai chuckles.

"Does Big doggy smell something?" He asks teasingly. "Will he sniff it out for us?"

"Shut up," The ninja orders. "There's something burning." I perk up and look behind me, at the oven. My eyes cross Sakura's expecting face.

"Hey, didn't you guys have some bread in there…?"

"Oh my gosh!"

XxX

"Okay, so you don't let anyone in if they look threatening," Kurogane repeats for the twentieth time. "If some oni come along like two nights ago, you make sure the princess is safe _before_ you jump on them like a maniac. Keep your whip close, but don't let the customers see it. If you get any trouble at all, you kick everyone out and you lock the doors-"

"And don't talk to strangers, got it," I finish with a teasing grin. "Honestly Kuro-sensei, you don't have to talk to me like I'm three-years old. I have a pretty good idea of how to take care of myself." The ninja shoots me a severe sideways glance.

"It's not taking care of yourself that I'm trying to help you with, it's taking care of the kids. You're the one who complained that I'm not here tonight, so don't complain now," he says. I stick my tongue out at him. He promised to start training me and Syaoran tonight at eight, after café hours, but now that he's going out we're not sure if it'll be possible. When I made him notice it, he grunted and sent me out to run around the block five times. I didn't, obviously. But he did decide that if I wanted to start my training so bad, he'd give me homework. So I've spent the last hour listening to his directives.

"Okay, so if oni come in here you _don't_ want me to fight them? Why, because I won't make any money out of it?" I ask, and he grunts.

"I never said don't fight them, I said don't jump on them like a maniac," He says, visibly on his last thread of patience. "When you're responsible for someone, you don't run head-first into a fight. I know you'll be the oldest here, but you're also the most reckless. Which is why I'm making you in charge." I scratch my head, puzzled.

"If I'm so reckless, them why exactly am I in charge?" I ask.

"Because it'll teach you not to be so reckless anymore, and it's not like it really matters, because nothing will probably happen tonight. And don't ask questions, just do as you're told," he answers forcefully, turning away. I grin and do a military salute.

"Yes, sir!" I exclaim. "Kuro-sensei can count on me!"

"Stop calling me that stupid name," He growls. "I'm not your teacher."

"Kuro-sama then?"

"No."

"Kuro-baka?"

"Definitely not."

"Kuro-tyrant?"

"…"

"Oh, I know! Kurgie-woggie?"

"Shut up. You're worst than that damn mage," He orders dryly, this time leaving the room for good. I grin widely. Mission accomplished…

"Aisha, have you seen Syaoran-kun? He disappeared ten minutes ago and I can't find him…" I turn to Sakura, my devilish grin still taped to my face.

"I think he went to change," I answer, shrugging. "Last time I saw him that's what he was going to do, anyways."

"Oh, thank you!" she says, then runs upstairs. There I hear her call out the boy's name, and his own voice replying reassuringly. I walk towards the counter and shoot one last look at my apple pie. It took everything out of me to keep Fai from jumping on it as soon as it came out of the oven, and I suspect the few crumbs missing off the crust are his doing. Mokona would have swallowed to pie whole, and Kurogane doesn't like anything too sugary – I made sure to incorporate lots of sugar.

"Strawberry-chan!" Fai's voice calls from the entrance. "Come say goodbye to your beloved friends!" I sigh, amused, and walk up to the door. Fai is already ready to go, his coat on and a map in one hand. Not to forget his eternal smile.

"Stop acting so stupid," Kurogane growls beside him. "I hope you won't keep this up in public." Fai smiles broadly.

"Well of course I will, Kuro-chan! What's the fun in going out to a bar without acting a little stupid?" he says. The ninja grunts unconvincingly. I take my best severe mother face and scold them thoroughly.

"Now, you two be nice to each other," I say, pointing a finger towards each of them. "Don't fight, don't drink too much – I'm especially not looking at you, Fai-san – and don't walk away with strange girls. Now I expect Kuro-muy to be very nice, but you might want to keep an eye on him. Oh, and how many push-ups do you want me to do again?" I ask, my severe mask falling down. Kurogane glares angrily in my direction as I smile innocently up to him.

"You don't have to do push-ups," he repeats grudgingly. "But if you keep on acting that way I'll make you wish you hadn't asked when I come back."

"Okie-dokie!" I exclaim, holding up my fingers in a peace sign. "Peace and love, Kuro-sensei!" Both men eye me suspiciously, and a knowing grin grows on Fai's lips.

"You've been in the chocolate, haven't you?" he asks. I nod.

"You're lucky though," I answer. "I didn't eat that much. If I was on a real sugar rush, you wouldn't even be able to talk to me." Fai laughs.

"Well then, we're lucky you haven't eaten that much," he says.

"You undoubtedly are," I answer, my peace sign shifting into an open hand. "High-five before you go!" Both men stare at my hand, confused as to what to do. I sigh and let my arm fall at my side. "Never mind," I conclude. I hear Sakura's footsteps running down the stairs. Fai turns to her as Kurogane grasps the handle, visibly eager to get this task over with.

"Goodbye, Sakura-chan!" The wizard says, and Sakura waves back at him.

"Have fun!" She says.

"You too!" Fai answers.

"Oh, let's just go already!" Kurogane growls, opening the door and pulling Fai behind him as he marched up the street. I watch their two silhouettes disappear into the darkness before closing the door behind them and turning to the dining room. Sakura is already busy placing the pie and fondants as artistically as possible. She's doing pretty well, given that she only has two plates to help her in her task. I'm about to open my mouth to say something stupid – I don't even know what – when Syaoran hesitantly walks down the stairs and into the dining room.

"Is this weird?" he asks, arranging his sleeves. As Sakura turns around to look at him, I can almost hear her breath catch in her throat. Her eyes widen a bit at the sight of the boy in the brand-new tailored suit, and I feel a small smile play on my lips. The princess blushes and shakes her head violently. I pass an arm around her shoulders and turn to Syaoran.

"What Sakura's trying to say," I announce, "is that you look very handsome, Syaoran-kun." I can feel her shocked eyes on me, but don't react other than a playful smile to tell her that I am perfectly aware of embarrassing her. I can honestly say that it doesn't matter. Friends embarrass each other in front of boys, I thought that was a known fact. Besides, it's not like the boys ever notice, I think acidly. Sakura suddenly walks towards Syaoran. She reaches up for his bowtie and starts fiddling with it.

"It's not straight," she explains. Syaoran nods, visibly too shaken to utter more than a few words.

"Thank you," Is all he says. I shake my head with an amused smile. If he wants to win the girl, he'll have to work a little harder than that. Maybe if the girl takes the first step…

"You are not alone," Sakura says softly, pressing her body closer to Syaoran's without touching it. The boy's eyes widen and he blushes slightly. I grin victoriously. You go, girl!

"Eh?" he asks, obviously surprised. Sakura seems to realize what she's done, and suddenly jerks away from him, her face turning red.

"Nothing!" she exclaims. I smile annoyingly.

"What Sakura's trying to say is-" I begin, but Sakura interrupts me.

"Nothing!" She repeats more forcefully, nudging my ribs with her elbows in a timid warning. "I… I wonder if Kurogane-san and Fai-san have arrived to that shop yet…" she hurriedly changes the subject. Syaoran goes along with it, visibly relieved that she took the initiative.

"I gave them the map," he says. "Kurogane-san said he could understand a bit of this country's language now."

"Awwww, Kuro-puu's a linguist now!" I exclaim. Syaoran eyes me suspiciously.

"Are you feeling well, Aisha-san?" he asks. I lean against the counter and lift two scolding fingers in his direction.

"I'm Aisha," I reply, purposely speaking in a pasty tone. "We could at least start with '–chan', but Aisha is what you will wind up calling me eventually." The boy exchanges a worried glance with Sakura, and I smile.

"Anyways," Sakura continues the conversation where it left off, "when Fai-san isn't here, we'll have to work really hard in the café!"

"Yeah!" Syaoran agrees.

"You can count on my intoxicated self!" I continue, holding two fingers up in a peace sign again. "No worries, it's only chocolate!" I reassure them. But my intoxicated self still has good ears, and so I hear the footsteps of the newcomers before they announce themselves.

"So this is the place?" A male voice asks from the doorway. I turn around to see a boy and a woman standing near the door.

"Sorry to bother you," The woman says. I smile invitingly and walk towards them.

"You're not bothering at all," I say, urging them in. "We're open." The woman smiles back politely, but the boy barely sends me a glance as he walks pass me. He sits down awkwardly, the bulky package he wears on his back taking a lot of space. The woman sits in front of him. Sakura is already serving them hot chocolate.

"Welcome," she greets them shyly.

"Thank you," the woman says, taking a sip from her hot chocolate. She's very beautiful in an exotic way, I notice. Her dark skin and short black hair show up against her pale Chinese-inspiration dress and she moves gracefully when she talks. The boy, on the other hand, seems a bit too confident for my taste. He keeps shooting Syaoran strange glances, as though sizing him up. Syaoran eventually notices the boy's intensive staring. When he sees his glances have finally paid off, the boy gets up enthusiastically.

"Are you Little doggie?" He exclaims. Syaoran seems taken aback.

"Umm… yes!" He says, backing away a few steps. I can't blame him.

"I'm Ryu-oh," The boy introduces himself with a hungry smile.

"My name is Souma," The woman echoes. I nod in her direction, but my eyes stay locked on the boy. He has just reached for his strange package, and I can't help but to find it a big resemblance to a sword…

"Heard you are very strong," The boy says, sweeping the air in front of him with his weapon. Syaoran barely has the time to get out of the way by jumping on the counter.

"Syaoran-kun!" Sakura screams, lunging for Syaoran. I stop her, my body already in an attack stance. I wasn't fast enough to stop the first blow, but I most definitely will be able to stop the second one.

"I wanted to see it with my own eyes!" Ryu-oh announces, his carnivorous smile getting bigger. Syaoran's eyes are alight with a cold determination as he slowly gets up from his crouched position. Ryu-oh eyes him approvingly.

"That's good!" He comments. "I haven't been this serious about a battle for a long time!"

"Sorry to interrupt your little party there, but get out!" I order firmly, taking a step towards the boys. Neither of them pays attention to me, busy as they are staring each other down. I look at Souma, only to see that she seems as taken aback as we all were.

"Ryu-oh," She says slowly, "let's go…" Her friend ignores her, and swings his sword one more time in Syaoran's direction, sending chairs and tables flying. The boy dodges it, but I couldn't have been more furious if he hadn't. The following minute his one of constant dodging for Syaoran, who can't seem to shake the guy off. I try to break the fight a few times, but can never manage to find an opening between the two boys. I'm getting extremely frustrated.

"YOU GET YOUR ASS OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW!" My scream echoes across the room. Ryu-oh finally deigns to notice my presence. He seems amused by my intervention. I glare ferociously at him.

"And who are you to tell me that?" He asks defiantly.

"Would it be too tacky if I said 'your worst nightmare'?" I reply with a joyless smile.

"A little, yeah."

"Okay then. So here's what we're going to do," I say. The last bit of drowsiness from the sugar has melted away, and I am fully aware that I'm arguing with a guy who has a sword bigger than him. I don't care. I will still literally kick him out or drag him out by the ear, I can do that. "You're going to drop the sword, apologize and walk out peacefully, or I'll make you do all of the above. You swing that sword one more time and I'll hurt you. It will be painful. I suggest you take the first option. How does that sound?" I suggest. He smiles amusingly.

"We'll deal with that after," he says, pointing his sword back towards Syaoran. "I have a fight to finish. You won't get away this time!" he warns.

"Syaoran-kun!" Sakura exclaims worriedly.

"No, Ryu-oh!" Souma yells. His sword pointed towards the ceiling, Ryu-oh doesn't listen to either of them. A strange, unnatural wind picks up in the dining room. I dash towards him. I can see Syaoran brace himself for the blow from the corner of my eye.

"Kai Ryu Ha…" The boy says as the wind intensifies. I slide underneath him and bring my foot up violently, catching him under the chin. I hear a satisfying crunch as his teeth clatter against each other, but another sound catches my attention. This one was a loud thud. I jump up to see Yuzuhira looking curiously at Ryu-oh's strangely flat face. Kusanagi's fist is still hanging next to Ryu-oh's head, suspended next to the bump he has just caused.

"What do you think you're doing in someone else's café?" Kusanagi asks stoically.

"It hurts!" is Ryu-oh's only answer, tears shooting out of his eyes. I mindlessly dust my clothes and shoot him a sideways glance.

"I warned you it was going to be painful," I say. I glance at Sakura. She seems a bit shaken, but fine. Souma is breathing out a sigh of relief beside her. I turn around to look at Syaoran.

"You okay?" I ask. The boy nods.

"I'm fine," He answers. I take a deep breath and let it hiss out. I have an urge to let out my frustration on Ryu-oh, but I can't really justify it now. Yuzuhira steps in.

"Do you guys need help cleaning up?" She asks, helpfully grabbing a chair and putting it back in place. I smile and help her.

"You guys can just step to the counter," I offer. "We have apple pie and scones, and some more chocolate fondants if you want some."

"But we can help!" Yuzuhira protests. I nod my head slowly.

"You're our customers," I say. "It's not right for you to help around." Before her sorry expression, I smile. "Why don't you just go see Sakura?" I say. Yuzuhira nods enthusiastically.

"Okay!" she agrees, running to help the princess. I smile as I lift a table back to its place, then drop it noisily onto the tiled floor. I turn to Ryu-oh, who is still recovering from his sandwiched head.

"You!" I say, pointing to him. "I'm suddenly too weak to carry this table. Do it."

"Hey! You can totally carry that!" He protests, rubbing his chin. I glare from under my eyebrows.

"You break it, you buy it. Fortunately for you, we need those tables, so you can just help us put everything back as it was. Capiche?"

"I'm not your slave!" He complains.

"You still made it look like a tornado tore through their café, so help," Kusanagi orders as he makes his way to the counter, along with Souma. "Oh, and nice kick by the way. I haven't seen anything like it in a long time," He says to me. I smile.

"Nice punch," I reply. "We were starting to need your help." Sakura is already taking orders and placing mugs and plates on the counter with enthusiasm. Ryu-oh grumbles as he places the chairs and tables back to their places under my supervision. Syaoran is helping, but I admit I'm being lazy; Ryu-oh does most of it. It's only fair after all. I mean, he's the one who barged in and started destroying the place.

"I'm sorry," I hear Souma say from her seat in front of the counter. "I couldn't stop Ryu-oh."

"I have to take some responsibility too," Kusanagi adds. "When I told Ryu-oh that I found a great café, I slipped and told him that I met some very strong guys." Mokona bounds down from the second floor at this instant.

"It was sooooo loud!" He comments. "Mokona could hear it all from the second floor!"

"That Ryu-oh really likes to fight strong people," Yuzuhira agrees, ignoring Mokona's apparition. Souma sighs hopelessly.

"Please ear while it's still warm," Sakura urges them. Yuzuhira and Kusanagi don't have to be told twice; they already dug into their fondants with the looks of people who haven't eaten in days. Souma carefully takes a bite of hers.

"It's great!" She exclaims. "Did you three make this?"

"No," Sakura admits, "Fa- I mean Big Kitty made them."

"Damn!" Ryu-oh complains, putting up the last table. "I want to eat too!"

"Don't worry," Syaoran reassures him. "There are more."

"Oh," Ryu-oh answers, shooting Syaoran a surprised glance. Then his expression lights up.

"You really are very strong!" He says, leaning across a table to Syaoran. "But your reaction is a bit slow on the right side. You don't feel well?" he continues seriously. Syaoran smiles, but doesn't answer.

"But you still are very strong," Ryu-oh continues, as though he wasn't really expecting an answer. "That's awesome!"

"I would have lost for sure if we would have kept fighting," Syaoran admits, helping him put the tablecloth back on. Ryu-oh straightens up and looks Syaoran in the eyes.

"Wins and loses have no ifs," he says. "When you win, you win. When you lose, you lose." Syaoran nods politely.

"Yeah," he agrees. Ryu-oh narrows his eyes and leans closer towards Syaoran, as though to observe him better. Syaoran leans back, a little off guard.

"You don't have to be so formal, you know," Ryu-oh tells him.

"Eh?" Syaoran replies.

"In this country, age doesn't matter much," the boy explains. I see Syaoran nod. Ryu-oh smiles, satisfied, and holds out his hand. "Let's fight again next time!" he says.

"Yes!" Syaoran agrees. "I mean… sure!" he retries. Ryu-oh laughs and grabs Syaoran's hand.

"Nice to meet you, Little Doggie!" He says, and Syaoran freezes in embarrassment. I don't think anybody likes those nicknames.

"Well, that's interesting," I intervene. Ryu-oh backs away slightly as I take a step towards him. "So that basically means that I won back there."

"No, it doesn't!" He protests, rubbing the bump on his head. "Kusanagi helped you, that's not fair!"

"Well I didn't know he was there, to be honest," I admit with a smile. "And your guard was down, that's how we managed to get you."

"It was one hit, it wasn't even a fight!" He protests again.

"I know," I agree, shrugging, "but I bet you that in a real fight I would be able to beat you."

"Not true!" He says defiantly, and my smile gets bigger.

"So we have a bet, then?" I ask, holding out my hand. "Rematch."

"Rematch," he agrees, shaking my hand. I chuckle.

"I'll kick your ass," I warn.

"If you can catch me," He replies.

"Challenging me to a race is not a good idea if you want to win."

"You've never seen me run."

"Neither have you," I conclude. We stare at each other for a few seconds before he breaks away from our locked gazes.

"Oh, have you heard that rumor?" Souma asks Kusanagi. The three of us freeze, listening intently to the conversation. Kusanagi nods.

"Yeah," He says. "I heard it from the Intelligence House."

"It's the one about that new oni, right?" Ryu-oh asks enthusiastically, and both me and Syaoran freeze. We exchange glances with each other. Kurogane and Fai are gaining information as we speak, but it wouldn't hurt to know a little more…

XxX

"So you guys are oni hunters as well?" Syaoran asks as he places yet another plate in front of Ryu-oh.

"Yup!" the boy answers, taking a bite out of his still unfinished plate. I swear, that guy has the biggest appetite I've ever seen. "We've defeated an 'A' level 5 before!"

"That's amazing!" Syaoran says, genuinely impressed.

"Kusanagi-san even defeated an 'A' level 4!" Ryu-oh continues. I whistle appreciatively.

"Impressive!" I comment. Kusanagi smiles modestly.

"But you should be able to defeat one too," He tells Syaoran. "It's only a matter of being lucky enough to encounter them."

"YUM!" Yuzuhira interrupts. "Not only the cakes, but the scones are the best too!"

"I want one too!" Ryu-oh decides. Syaoran laughs.

"Okay," He says, pilling scones on another plate. I bend down to pet Yuzuhira and Kusanagi's dog as Ryu-oh complains that he wants more food.

"Who's a good doggie?" I chirp as the dog bats the air with his paw. "Are you Kuro-woofy's cousin? Well of course you are!" Turns out that the other oni hunters don't know more about this new oni than what we already know, so the climate went back to friendly chatter.

"Those two get along well," Yuzuhira comments, sending Syaoran and Ryu-oh a sideways glance.

"Yeah," Sakura agrees, looking tenderly towards Syaoran. Yuzuhira looks curiously at her, then out of the blue…

"I want to be friends with you," She says, leaning against the counter. "Can I?" she asks innocently. Sakura blushes a bit in surprise, but nods.

"I'd love to!" she answers, smiling joyfully.

"Yay! A new friendship has formed!" Mokona exclaims, but I grab him and make him shut up.

"We don't want to embarrass Sakura, now do we?" I ask. Mokona smiles.

"Of course not!" he answers devilishly. In perfect timing, we jump up and sing:

"Sakura has a new frie-end! Sakura has a new frie-end!" Sakura quickly turns towards us with the closest thing to a glare the girl can manage.

"Aisha," She says severely, "you've been eating chocolate again, haven't you?"

"Surprisingly enough, no," I admit sheepishly. "I just like making you blush. It's fun!" Sakura is about to reply something, but Yuzuhira chips in.

"It's okay," She reassures the princess. "It's true that you are very cute when you blush!" Sakura's cheeks start to color. I tap her shoulder playfully.

"See? I'm not the only one to say so!"

"Mokona thinks Sakura is very cute too!" The fur-ball chirps. Yuzuhira observes him curiously.

"Where did you buy him?" She inquires. I shrug.

"We didn't buy him," I explain. "He was more of a present. You know, the kind you get from the people who hate you?"

"Hey! Mokona was a very good present!" The little guy protests, jumping on my head. I laugh.

"I was just kidding," I say, shaking him off. "Now, why don't you go bug someone else for a while?" The fur-ball bounds happily up to the dog and starts teasing the poor animal by jumping around him at top speed. Poor puppy…

"Delicious!" Ryu-oh exclaims, finally finishing off his last plate.

"Okay, so this time the bill's on Ryu-oh!" Yuzuhira responds. The boy's expression changes instantly from pure bliss to surprised disapproval.

"Why do I have to pay for everyone?" He whines.

"If Kusanagi-san hadn't stopped you, you would've destroyed the whole café," Yuzuhira explains teasingly. "Compared to the compensation's cost-"

"This is much cheaper," Kusanagi finishes. Ryu-oh whines desperately as Souma hands Syaoran his money badge. She sighs.

"Ryu-oh," She says sadly, "it's not a bad thing to fight to become strong. But to avoid unnecessary battles is another way of proving one's strength."

"Got it," Se says, looking up at her. His face is genuine, and I can tell he respects her a great deal. "But," he continues, sheathing his sword, "I want to know how strong I am. Once I learn how great the world is, I can't be too full of myself anymore." A one-sided grin stretches his lips. "To be able to meet strong people is my greatest happiness," He concludes. I can't help but smile. Kento would say the same thing. He too believed that fighting stronger people would teach him about his own strength. My smile fades.

Mokona perks up suddenly. The dog growls menacingly, lifting his nose into the air. Ryu-oh's hand tightens around his sword.

"The onis are here!" All four oni hunters exclaim at once, before dashing for the door. I jump behind the counter and grab my whip, which had been safely stored on a shelf.

"Please stay here!" Syaoran orders Sakura before following the others.

"Got it!" I answer, placing myself in front of her in a defence position.

"Syaoran-kun!" she protests, but I keep her from going any further.

"Let the pros take care of that one," I say, attempting a smile. "He'll be fine, you can count on that."

"I don't… Syaoran-kun…" She mutters, holding Mokona close to her. I pat her shoulder reassuringly.

"He won't get hurt, I promise," I say. "Heck, that's why I got my whip." The princess looks up to me and smiles weakly, but her eyes go back to the events beyond our windows. Thank God for them, or else I would be outside right now trying to see what was going on – and only my friends know how hard it is to keep me from a fight when I'm right in the middle of it. Large metal claws are protruding from Kusanagi's fists and are in the process of tearing onis to shreds.

Yuzuhira is behind him, emptying her pistol on the dark creatures. Souma throws her boomerang-like knives and manages to snatch two onis before they reach Syaoran and Ryu-oh. The creatures are rapidly taken care of, and Sakura runs for the door. I stop her in the doorway, staring intently at a point just beyond Souma and Ryu-oh. I'm almost sure I saw something move…

Suddenly, a large black form detaches itself from the ground and seems to cover the sky. Its burning red eyes search the pavement for movement, and the oni hunters are alive with a new vitality.

"This one's 'A' level 4!" Souma exclaims, bracing herself to attack.

"You guys stay put!" Ryu-oh says, running towards the beast. I can't help but remember our first night here, when this large oni barged into out house and… destroyed my wall… a sudden urge for revenge overcomes me. The only thing this oni has in common with the first one is those fiery red eyes, seeming to plunge into your soul. Everything else about it is foreign, and I get the feeling it can't be overcome the same way as the first one either. I glance at the whip in my hand. I wish again for a more offensive type of weapon. This monster seems to be only affected by sharp and rigid objects, so my whip is out of the equation. Damn.

"Kai Ryuah!" Ryu-oh yells, slashing the monster from shoulder to crotch. The creature falls apart on both sides, forming two limp piles of gooey black substance. I breathe a sigh of relief; that's the end of it, then. I feel a pinch of regret at not killing any oni myself, but Kurogane's instructions play non-stop in my head: _'__Make sure the princess is safe before jumping on the oni like a maniac.' _And with her determination to approach the fight, the only way to really make sure she's safe is to stay with her.

God, the twins never gave me such problems. Then again, we were never attacked by creepy monsters.

"Wait!" Kusanagi's cry grabs my attention. I watch in awe as both sides of the oni merge together once again, slowly spiralling and lifting themselves off the ground. "Something's wrong! 'A' level 4 shouldn't have morphing abilities!" Kusanagi continues. The oni's shape starts to define itself. I can make out two spindly legs, a long torso, a round head, but most of all two whip-like arms reaching for Ryu-oh.

"RYU-OH!" Souma cries as her partner stumbles back, surprised and unable to react in time. Sakura yelps and grabs on to my sleeve. I gasp when I see the arms shape and define themselves into blade-like limbs…

Syaoran jumps between the monster and Ryu-oh.

"Syaoran!" Sakura's desperate cry dies when we see the boy land on his feet, breathless but unharmed. I see something reflect the light from the streetlights in his hand. Souma's money badge. My sigh of relief echoes across the road, but I know it's not the end of it yet. The boys have evaded this blow, but the next one promises to be harder. Once again, I glance towards my whip and wish I could be more useful here.

"Aisha!" Sakura calls, bringing me back to the present. One of the creature's arms is shooting for Syaoran, missing him by barely a few inches. The boy jumps out of the way, soon followed by Ryu-oh. The now flexible limb manages to wrap itself around Syaoran's ankle as the boy is still in midair. I gasp. I know that move. I've done it countless times before with my own weapon. I know what comes next.

But that oni is much stronger than I am.

So when Syaoran's body strikes the asphalt with surprising force, I can't say I wasn't expecting it. But I still cringe as I hear the loud tear of the concrete and Syaoran's violent gasp for air and relief.

"Syaoran!" Sakura screams, dashing forward. I stop her just as Yuzuhira jumps before us to do the same.

"Don't go any closer!" she cries. "It's dangerous!"

"But…!" Sakura protests as the oni lifts Syaoran up in the air one more time, violently catapulting him towards a tree. "Syaoran-kun!" My eyes fall upon the oni again. I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

"Give me that," I order, snatching Yuzuhira's pistol away from her without waiting for an answer. Pointing the weapon in front of me, I easily find the target I was hoping for.

"Kai Oh Jin!" Ryu-oh's cry echoes across the street. With a deafening roar, the oni's arms tear away from his body. My finger twitches.

"Hey, wait a sec-" Yuzuhira exclaims as I pull on the trigger. The gun cracks satisfyingly and everyone turns to me with wide eyes. Syaoran manages to land safely on the ground, besides the boy who has without a doubt saved him from countless injuries. I remain unmoving, staring intently at the gaping hole in the oni's torso. The loud shriek escaping the monster confirms the productivity of my hit. I breathe deeply in and out as I try to forget the weight of the weapon in my hand. My finger twitches again against the trigger. I stop it. Syaoran is safe. There's no need to shoot again. With a shaking hand, I give Yuzuhira back her pistol.

"Sorry," I whisper hoarsely. The oni has started to move again, and the rest of the troop has stopped staring at me to focus on the monster. Only Sakura, Mokona and Yuzuhira remain, their eyes a mix of surprise and fear. I try to ignore them as best as I can. It's my business if I want to shoot onis. They piss me off.

"This oni is too strong!" I hear Souma yell over the others. Kusanagi straightens up.

"Let's do this!" he orders. "Ryu-oh!"

"How?" the boy asks, slicing off one of the creature's arms again. Kusanagi nods towards Yuzuhira, who reluctantly leaves us to jump towards the others. On a common accord, the two partners dash towards the oni. Syaoran, Souma and Ryu-oh follow their lead.

"Yuzuhira!" Kusanagi yells.

"Ready!" Yuzuhira answers, seeming to already know what to do.

"Ryu-oh!" Souma exclaims, looking over her shoulder to her partner.

"Got it!" he yells back, eyes fixed on the oni. All five hunters dive on it as one, slashing, kicking, firing and throwing as though their lives depend on it. It only takes a few seconds for the oni to crumble to the ground in that now-familiar pile of black goo. I sigh hoarsely. I can still feel the weight of the gun in my hand, the pressure of my finger on the trigger and the empowerment I felt when my bullet ripped through the monster's chest on the first shot. I don't like it. I never liked guns. I used to tell myself I'd never use one. Another sigh lifts my chest.

One more thing to regret.

"Did you get hurt?" Sakura asks, running hurriedly towards Syaoran, Mokona bounding beside her. Kusanagi's dog is hot on their trail.

"We're fine," Syaoran assures her. I walk up to the group myself, but don't say a word.

"Dammit!" Ryu-oh is whining, letting himself fall on the ground besides his sword. "I couldn't get rid of it on my own!" I snicker.

"Thank goodness your wound isn't very deep," Souma sighs, kneeling in front of the sitting Syaoran and examining a cut on his arm. I frown as I see it, and all my regrets at shooting the oni melt like snow in the sunlight. That bastard of a creature deserved it.

"It has nothing to do with Ryu-oh's ability," I hear Yuzuhira comment to Kusanagi. "That oni was simply too strange."

"But I should have been able to get rid of it on my own!" Ryu-oh cries. "It took five hunters and even that girl had to help!" He points towards me, and I am suddenly thrust in the limelight again. All the gazes that had turned away from me during the battle are now penetrating me, burning my skin where they land. I stare back at them with what I hope is an impenetrable gaze. Somehow their glances seem disapproving. But Kusanagi whistles impressively.

"You don't look like much," he says, taking a few steps towards me. "But that was one hell of a shot. Was that your first time with a gun?" I look up to him and nod, still refusing to utter a word. I don't feel like justifying myself. Yuzuhira pokes her head from behind her partner and eyes me curiously again.

"That was impressive. Even I couldn't aim that well when I started," she admits. I smile weakly in her direction.

"And that kick when we came in! That was really something. Were you ever a hunter?" Kusanagi asks.

"No," I answer. He shakes is head in disbelief.

"Well, you had to learn to fight somewhere!" he presses on. I shake my head.

"I never had a formal training," I admit. My eyes fall on Syaoran and Sakura, and I lower my gaze to the asphalt. I don't like the way they're looking at me.

"Aisha-san," Syaoran starts, "I'm-"

"Sorry," I finish, looking at him. "I know that was your fight, and I shouldn't have done anything, but-"

"You shouldn't be sorry; it was my fault. I don't have a weapon and-"

"My whip isn't exactly what it takes if you want to fight a huge gelatinous creature-"

"And I understand that you wanted to protect us, like Kurogane-san told you to do, and I know it was my fault because-"

"I didn't think, I'm not good at doing that, you know. I just take things too at heart, and then sometimes I can't help it-"

"I just wanted-"

"To make sure-"

"Everyone would be okay," we finish in unison. We stare at each other for a few moments. I feel a smile creep on my lips despite my will. So we just wanted the same thing after all… My hand shoots in front of me, offering support to the boy sitting before me. I see him hesitate before he grabs it. When our hands finally touch, I grab his forcefully and haul him to his feet. Finally, the smile I was repressing burst on my lips.

"You don't need to be sorry for fighting your own," I say.

"And you shouldn't be sorry for trying to protect those you care about," He scolds me. I pout.

"Well maybe if you didn't get yourself in so much trouble, things like this wouldn't happen," I reply teasingly. Syaoran smiles, and I can see Sakura smile behind him as well. My hand loosens its grasp on Syaoran's wrist, and the boy takes his arm back graciously. I chuckle. A sudden burst of worry passes over Syaoran's eyes. He turns to Souma.

"Eh, I used this to block that oni's attack," he explains, holding out her cracked money badge, "and…sorry." Souma smiles and takes back her badge.

"That's alright," she reassures him. "We can get another one at City Hall. I have to thank you for saving Ryu-oh's life." Behind her, Ryu-oh is visibly burning with unsaid offence. I chuckle. I guess he doesn't like the idea of owing his life to someone else. Kusanagi sends wary glances all around us.

"There is something very wrong about this place," he says as the oni slowly disintegrates. "This country…" he trails off, but we never hear what he wanted to say.

"We're back!" an overly-joyous voice calls from behind us. I smirk as I recognize the wizard's voice and turn around.

"Okay, so what have you guys been up to…what?!" I exclaim, seeing Fai slung on Kurogane's shoulder like a potato sack. The ninja stares at us silently, as though daring us to comment on the oddness of the situation.

"Fai-san?" both Syaoran and Sakura echo, and we all run up to the men. I notice that Fai in particular seem rather dirty, and that Kurogane's sword is missing.

"What happened to you guys?" I ask them, but only Fai sees it fit to answer.

"We ran into a few onis, so we're a bit late…" he explains, propping himself up with his hands on Kurogane's shoulder. I cluck disapprovingly.

"You couldn't just stay out of it, now could you?" I say, resting my fists on my hips. Even from here I can see the way the wizard nurses his left ankle, carefully keeping it from entering in contact with anything else. Fai offers me a sheepish smile as an apology.

"Look who's talking!" Kusanagi exclaims teasingly. I suddenly see Kurogane's eyes widen as he stares at a point behind us. The arm which had been holding Fai securely on his shoulder drops down, and the mage finds himself hurling towards the ground.

"Waaah!" he exclaims almost joyfully. Syaoran yelps and jumps, trying to keep the mage from falling straight on his face, but only succeeds to break his fall with his own body. I dash to help the two get up, along with Sakura.

"Souma?" I hear the ninja ask as I try to grab hold of Fai's arm. An awkward silence follows. I frown. How could he have known Souma? It had seemed as though she and Ryu-oh had heard of him and Syaoran but had never actually met them…

"Why are you here?" Kurogane asks, seeming to have regained his senses. "Is Tomoyo-hime with you?" I sneak a peek behind my shoulder in time to see Souma's bewildered face stare blankly at the ninja. Then Mokona jumps on my head and I shake him off, pulling Fai off the ground, careful not to put strain on his ankle. Sakura picks up a strange package he was carrying, which seems oddly heavy. The mage seems to be having the time of his life, watching us stare oddly at the ninja. Kurogane turns his head violently from side to side, visibly looking for something.

"Don't tell me Tente is here as well!" he says, but Souma finally finds it in her to interrupt him.

"Er…ummm," she begins, trying to get the big guy's attention. When he finally turns back to her, she brings a hand to her heart and smiles timidly. "My name is indeed Souma," she explains, "but I believe this is the first time we've met…" It was as though a hammer was dropped on the ninja's head. His features fall and his shoulders drop in shock, but he soon regains control of himself. With a last grunt, I push Fai back to his feet and let him lean on me as he tests his non-existent balance.

"Thank you," he chirps, crushing me with his weight. Thankfully, Syaoran swiftly comes to my aid and supports the mage from the other side.

"Sorry," Kurogane grumbles for Souma. "Thought you were someone else."

"That's okay," she assures him with a smile. Kusanagi and Yuzuhira observe us curiously.

"Well, that was a pretty weird oni, the one who attacked you," Yuzuhira comments. "They usually don't attack civilians."

"Oh, but Kuro-puu was there to protect me," Fai says, smiling broadly. I grunt.

"He didn't do a very good job, if you ask me," I say. Kurogane pricks up at those words.

"Hey, it's not my fault the idiot wouldn't fight back!" He protests.

"But my darts didn't do anything!" Fai mewls.

"You didn't fight back?" I exclaim, purposely jabbing the wizard in the ribs. Fai bends down with a pained smile.

"Owie, that hurts!" He protests.

"Not as much as you could have been! Honestly, what were you thinking? Do I really have to trail after you all the time to tell you what to do? Is that what you want me to do?" I scold him forcefully. He gives me a sheepish smile.

"I see the sugar has worn off," He notices. I frown and jab him once more, this time less violently.

"Yes it did, and you're an idiot," I mumble. "Now march!" I order, taking a few steps towards the door. Syaoran follows me, dragging a limping Fai behind.

"Wow, Little Birdy sure is a dominatrix!" Yuzuhira exclaims. I glare in her general direction, unable to crane my neck far enough to look at her directly. Fai laughs.

"She has her ways," He admits, taking another limping step. I grunt.

"You should have seen her a few minutes ago!" Yuzuhira continues, visibly unable to stop herself. "She was even bossing Ryu-oh around!"

"Hey, he deserved it," I protest. I see Ryu-oh's eyes widen and his jaw drop as though to protest my accusation. Yuzuhira cuts him off.

"She kicked him square in the jaw!" She recalls. "Poor Ryu-oh had his head sandwiched!" The 'Poor Ryu-oh' falls back to the ground in discouragement. I chuckle. Fai and Kusanagi laugh.

"For some strange reason, I'm not surprised at all," Fai says. I ignore him.

"What happened here?" Kurogane asks, finally noticing the cracked asphalt and the bruised-covered arms of the oni hunters. Syaoran answers.

"There were some oni here," he admits, shooting me a sideways glance. "We fought them off."

"Nobody's hurt?" the ninja asks, looking at me. I sigh.

"Syaoran has a cut on his hand," I say, "and he's probably bruised a little everywhere, but nothing bad."

"Syaoran and Aisha did their best to protect everybody!" Mokona chirps joyfully. Kurogane stares doubtfully at me, lifting an eyebrow. I sigh.

"I didn't jump on any oni," I say slowly. "I stayed with Sakura the entire time, you can ask anybody."

"You had quite a shot there, though," Kusanagi comments, rubbing his chin. "It's a shame there's already two hunters in your group." Kurogane's glare gets more intense, and I support his eyes. The ninja says nothing however, and I would have wished it to stay that way. But Fai and Yuzuhira can't seem to shut up.

"Where did you get a gun?" Fai asks, looking at me. Yuzuhira answers in my place.

"She took mine in the middle of the fight," She explains. "Just took it and shot it straight in the thing's chest. That was awesome!" she exclaims. Kurogane's eyes grow hard. I can't help but shy away from them, something I haven't done in a while. I half-expect him to start yelling at me, though I'm still confused as to what I did. But his response to this discovery is oddly dry:

"I have to talk to you later," Is all he says. I slowly let my breath hiss out between my teeth. At least the explosion will wait.

"Watch the steps, Fai-san," I hear Syaoran caution as we enter the house. We help the wizard to the sofa where I drop him, kneeling besides his injured ankle. The room is slowly filling in, everyone following us inside.

"Well, I'm sorry about all the commotion we caused," Kusanagi tells Sakura and Kurogane. "I promise Ryu-oh will behave himself this time." I look back to Ryu-oh, a lone and brooding silhouette still sitting outside the door. He's the only one who hasn't joined us. I feel a sudden jolt of compassion for the boy; all he wanted was to prove his strength, and he ended up being humiliated twice in the same evening. I don't regret kicking him, but I can see how he feels. I can relate.

"We should be going now," Souma says. "And don't worry about our money badge, it's fine," she adds for Syaoran. The boy nods. I get up.

"You could at least stay for a while. We're not exactly busy, as you can tell," I say jokingly. I see a smile play on Souma's lips.

"That's very kind of you, but we wouldn't want to abuse of your hospitality," she answers politely. "We already caused enough trouble."

"Um, I'm sorry, but what trouble would the lovely lady be talking about?" Fai asks half-teasingly. I drop my head with a discouraged smile.

"I'm not telling this one," I warn. Heck, I lived it, I don't have to relate it…

XxX

"Hey," I say simply, leaning against the doorway. Ryu-oh turns around and looks at me.

"Hey," he answers. I look down at the asphalt and then back up again.

"I guess I'll have to thank you," I say. He seems surprised to have me talk to him on such friendly terms, and his eyebrows knit in confusion.

"Why?" he asks. I smile softly.

"For saving Syaoran," I answer. Before his bewildered expression, I add, "Hey, we both know I wouldn't have shot in time. Without you, we would have had two guys who needed patching up tonight. So thanks." Ryu-oh nods once. Behind me, I can hear the clatter of the conversation still going strong, Sakura trying to soften Ryu-oh's blame in the eyes of Kurogane. The ninja didn't take to it kindly that someone barged in and tried to destroy the place, and I wouldn't be surprised that Ryu-oh sees himself denied access to the café next time he comes. I guess I could always slip him a few cakes under the table, if Kurogane happens to be around…

"Why are you thanking me?" The boy asks, he too hearing the ninja's rampage. "I thought you hated me." My smile gets wider.

"I never said that," I tease, unable to resist the temptation. "I always kick people in the face when I first meet them. It's almost like an initiation ritual, really." He smiles for a second, then reverts back to his brooding self, turning away from me. I take a step towards him.

"So you're name's Little Birdy?" he asks before I can say a word. Closing my mouth, I nod, then remembering that he can't see me, I answer.

"Yeah, seems like it," I say. "Didn't choose it though, so don't judge."

"It's a weird name," He admits, still looking away, "but it suits you." I cock my head to the side curiously.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" I ask. He sighs and stretches his arms up in the air. A long pause follows.

"Never mind," he concludes. I shake my head in bewilderment.

"Is this part of your elaborate plan to annoy me?" I ask. He finally turns around to face me and I can see a glimpse of amusement in his eyes that wasn't there before. I conclude that I was right.

"What if it is?" he answers defiantly. My smile grows wolfish.

"I might owe you," I warn, "but I'll still kick your ass." He grabs his sword and sheaths it back in one smooth movement, his teeth glistening in the light of a lamppost.

"Bring it on," Is all he says.

XxX

"Would it kill you to tell me why you're pissed off?" I ask for the tenth time to a grumbling Kurogane. The ninja has refused to speak to me ever since the others left, and I'm starting to become very annoyed. Finally he turns towards me, his eyes throwing knives in my direction. I back away a few steps.

"Two reasons," He growls, holding up one finger. "One, you're irresponsible and two, you're reckless. You can't steal another's weapon in the middle of a battle to use it yourself, and especially not when you have one. If something would have happened to her, she would have been defenceless."

"She didn't seem to mind," I reply. Kurogane grumbles something that I don't really understand, then starts walking away. I follow him.

"That still doesn't explain why you're pissed off," I press. The ninja suddenly stops and turns towards me, his fist swinging in my direction. I swiftly dodge it, but as I'm about to retaliate, he grabs my wrist and forces me to face him. I struggle, but his grip is too strong. His face now inches from mine, Kurogane glares at me. I glare back. He speaks.

"What if you would have missed that shot?" He asks angrily. I sustain his gaze as I answer.

"I didn't miss," I say as calmly as I can. He ignores me, and finally let's me go.

"You could have hit the kid," he says simply, his voice now devoid of emotions. "Or the princess, or anybody else. Just because it didn't happen this time doesn't mean it'll never be the case."

"Maybe, but it didn't happen this time, and it'll never happen again because I'm not planning on stealing a gun anytime soon," I reply in a snap. The ninja looks away from me.

"It doesn't have to be a gun," he says. "Any weapon that you don't know can eventually lead to your own destruction, or the death of the ones you had to protect."

"Listen, all I wanted to do was help Syaoran!" I protest. "And I didn't hurt anybody so get off my back!"

"It doesn't matter what your intentions are. Once you hit the wrong target, it's too late," he replies.

"And who are you to talk about that? You can't even keep Fai from spraining his ankle, at least Syaoran doesn't need any major patching up!"

"Hey, this isn't about me!" he replies. "And it's not my fault, he-"

"Didn't fight back, blah blah blah," I cut him off. "At least I'm not blaming Syaoran for getting hurt."

"Don't give me that!" he yells. "We both know I wouldn't-"

"Let Fai-san get hurt," I finish for him. "Well, I wouldn't let Syaoran get hurt either. So drop it and stop acting like you're so much better than everyone." Kurogane seems taken aback by my conclusion, and stares blindly in my direction for a moment before frowning and looking away.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he finishes angrily. "It wasn't my job to protect him. He got hurt by his own fault." I nod sceptically.

"Right," I say sarcastically. "Let's say that. Then what happened to your sword?" The ninja doesn't answer, caught in his determined muteness. I smile victoriously. "It would take a lot strain on a blade to break it," I continue, picking apart his silence. "I'm sure, as an experienced swordsman, you'd know the things that would put such a strain on your weapon and you'd try not to use those attacks except in great necessity – unless, of course, you were too upset to think. _Because someone you cared about got hurt, _am I right?" I finish with a small grin. The ninja's expression gives nothing away as he says:

"That sword was crap anyways. I'll have to buy a new one tomorrow. That Kusanagi guy told me about a good place." I nod, respecting his silence. He can go on pretending he doesn't give a damn about Fai, I know the truth. Kurogane walks pass me as he leaves the room. I don't move. Just as he is about to open the door, I hear the ninja pause.

"Next time," he says, "just make sure not to miss." I smile softly.

XxX

"Ow! Careful there," Fai exclaims when I grab his ankle.

"Sorry," I mutter, carefully untying his shoe and pulling it off. All I get in answer is an unreadable smile.

"I could take care of it," Syaoran offers, but I shake him off.

"It's okay, I'm fine," I reply. "It's only a bandage, and I'm good at patching people up." Fai chuckles.

"I take it I'm not the only clumsy person you've met?" he asks. I smile superficially up at him.

"Yeah, that's it," I say softly. I can feel Kurogane's eyes on me, but I don't react to it. The others don't know, and they probably never will. Not now, anyways. My fingers unconsciously wrap the bandage tightly around Fai's ankle, but my mind is elsewhere. Kurogane told me not to miss next time. Should I take it as an apology for yelling at me, a silent approval of what I did, or an authorization to keep doing as I please? I don't know. As easy to read as he is sometimes, the ninja can be a real pain in the ass to understand.

"Does Souma-san really look like the Souma-san in Kurogane's country?" Sakura asks with a smile. Mokona jumps on Fai's head.

"He was so surprised that he dropped Fai!" The fur ball exclaims. The ninja turns violently towards us, his features distorted in rage.

"SHUT UP!" He yells. I smile.

"Awwww, Kuro-wanwan is embarrassed," I tease him. After our conversation, I figure he's not really pissed off at me anymore. Either that, or he's trying to be forgiven, because he hasn't yelled at me since we fought – and I admit I tried to push him off the edge a few times. Sure enough, all I get from him is a quick glare. I think everyone noticed, because I'm not the only one to be smiling knowingly at the ninja.

"But," Fai says, interrupting our silent teasing, "a person, in different worlds, is indeed different. Just like the witch said: 'Two people might look similar, but they are two different people.' So that means we might meet those people we've met in previous worlds again." I want to ask questions, but the look on Fai's face almost discourages me. Though a small, joyless smile still stretches his lips, his eyes have the same haunted shadow I've seen in Jade, glowing in the fire light. But now there's no fire, and the expression is gone in a heartbeat. I sigh, once again wondering what it could be that Fai is running away from. He said it in Koryo: _'__If the person sleeping underwater in my old world awakens, then I might get caught.'_ He might get caught… by who? For what? What could he have done to throw someone on his trail? I finish tying the bandage around his ankle, wishing I somehow could do more. I would never admit it out loud, but I felt a pinch when I saw his injury, a pinch that had nothing to do with the simple realization that he had been hurt; it was a mix of anguish and pain that I've only felt for a small group of very exclusive people. It lasted only for a second, but it was there, and it puzzles me.

"Hey, ummm… Fai-san?" I finally ask, looking up to the wizard. "What exactly did you mean by 'meeting people we've met before?'" The mage looks down at me with a smile.

"See, in different worlds there exist the same people," he explains. "They look the same, but they are different people. Like, for example, the Souma-san that we met tonight looks exactly like the Souma-san that Kuro-muy knew in his country; but she didn't lead the same life, and she doesn't know Kuro-sama." I nod slowly, trying to grasp the concept.

"So," I ask, "they look exactly the same but they can be totally different on the inside?" Fai bites his lip and cocks his head to the side thoughtfully.

"Almost," he says. "See, they still share some things in common." He brings his hands up and forms a heart with his fingers. "They share the same heart. Or the same soul, depending what you understand better," he explains. I frown.

"So they're basically the same person, but they lead different lives?" I try again. This time, the mage nods.

"That's the easiest I can put it," he says. I bite my lip.

"Does that mean there's another you and another me somewhere out there?" I ask.

"More than likely, though I doubt we'll meet ourselves one day," He answers with an amused smile. I sigh in relief.

"Thank God," I say. "I can't imagine meeting myself on the street or something." Sakura laughs.

"I'll make sure you two meet," She says. I scowl playfully in her direction.

"Well, you don't want to know what I'll do if we ever meet a double of any of you," I reply, pointing at everyone assembled. "I'll make sure they believe you're their long-lost twin or something." I vaguely imagine Syaoran or Sakura having a twin and laugh, soon joined by the others. Mokona bounds around joyfully.

"Kurogane has a twin somewhere!" He sings. "How unfortunate! Poor, poor people who live with him!" My laughing gets louder as Kurogane's expression darkens and he reaches for the fur ball. Mokona dodges his hand and lands on my head, dancing a few steps to tease the ninja. Even Fai is laughing now, and I fall back against his legs as I evade the sandal Kurogane has just hurled at Mokona. With a yelp I jump back up, conscious of Fai's injured ankle.

"I'm sorry!" I apologize hurriedly. "I'm so sorry, I didn't want to…" But the mage says nothing; he simply laughs and shakes his head, signalling that everything is okay. A smile creeps back on my lips.

"It was all Kurogane's fault!" Mokona chirps. "He dropped Fai and now he wants to hurt him! How cruel!" I dive to keep a second sandal to hit me in the forehead and laugh.

"Bad boy, Kuro-puu!" I scold. Syaoran, who seems the only one to keep an eye on the necessities, is now taking away the First Aid kit. Sensing a break in our madness, he turns to Fai.

"What did you find at the bar?" he asks. A smile lights Fai's face, as though he had just remembered something important. Turning around, he fishes behind the sofa and pulls out his strange package.

"We brought souvenirs!" he announces, holding the package up proudly. A feeling of dread overcomes me. I can only think of one thing they could have picked up as 'souvenirs' from a bar, and I'm not liking it. With one swift movement, Fai unveils the content of the package, and I see that my fears have come true. Three shiny bottles glisten in the light, all of them big, all of them full, and all of them a threat to Fai's already fragile mental balance. Trust me, if I base myself on my knowledge of him, alcohol will flow tonight.

"Let's drink!" he concludes a little too joyfully for my taste.

Oh good Lord, give me patience…


	20. Apple pie

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TRC

Yeah, so that one took a while, I'm sorry. Though I particularly like this one, maybe because I have so many inside jokes with myself in it, haha... I have no life.

Oh, and yes, Fai sings in French. I'm sorry, I couldn't find any stupid sing-songs in English... what follows is a pretty straightforward translation. For those who don't know, Baka Neko means "Idiot Cat", and the rest pretty much explains itself – I think. Oh, and in case some of you didn't notice, everything that's in italics is Aisha's dreams. There might be an overload of them in this chapter, I don't know...

* * *

Fai and Sakura are pretending they are cats, Mokona is literally bouncing off the ceiling and Syaoran is attempting to beat up a chair with a ladle.

In short, just another uneventful evening.

"WHAT THE-! STOP THAT!" Kurogane yells as Syaoran hits a chair hard enough to send it flying through the air. The boy seems pretty pleased with himself.

"Is it like that, Kurogane-san?" he asks proudly. "A little higher maybe?"

"NO! NO MORE ALCOHOL FOR ANY OF YOU!"

"Actually, if I forget that I know them this is pretty amusing," I chip in, observing the scene calmly from my vantage point on the counter. Fai and Sakura, glasses in hand, are proceeding to a toast to the café's new name: "Cat's Eye". I have to admit it's a pretty good name, given that it came out of Mokona's drunken mouth. Besides, we already have the sign.

"Meow, meow, meow! MEOW!" the happy drunkards sing. I clap, trying to hide my amused smile with a sarcastic grin.

"Bravo!" I cheer sceptically. "You guys officially out-sing all the other cats in the neighbourhood!"

"DON'T ENCOURAGE THEM!" the ninja growls. All he gets in response is a dumb chuckle from Fai.

"There was a really cute singer at the bar!" the wizard chirps. "And a pretty bartender! She was nice too!" He chugs down another glass and reaches for the bottle.

"Meeoow!" Sakura exclaims.

"Kurogane-san! Look at this!"

"Meow!"

"Chevalieeeeeers de la Table Roooooooonde, allons vooooir si le vin est booooooon…" Fai sings, holding up his bottle in the air. "Knights of theeeeeeee Round Taaaaaaaaable, let's go seeeeeeee if the wine is gooooooood…"

"SHUT UP!"

"Aisha, come be a cat too!" Sakura calls me, before bursting into laughter. I shake my head.

"Sorry, but I don't do felines," I apologize. "I'm a birdy, remember?"

"Yes! Little birdy! Apple pie please!" Fai exclaims, nearly pouring his entire bottle on Mokona. The fur ball agrees.

"Apple pie! Apple pie!" He chirps. Kurogane can't take it anymore. I can almost see the numerous veins throbbing near his temples.

"GO TO BED NOW, ALL OF YOU!" he growls angrily. Before Syaoran can react, he's being hauled up on Kurogane's shoulder.

"But Kurogane-san," he protests, "I haven't shown you what I can do yet!" Sakura soon follows, giggling wildly. She shrieks in surprise when the ninja grabs her roughly by the waist and throws her onto his back. He then furiously stomps up the stairs, grumbling murderous threats as he goes, and leaving me alone with Fai. As soon as the other man is out of earshot, Fai turns his gazed towards me with a smile that announces nothing good. His normally pale cheeks are now an odd shade of pink, something that I admit I've never seen before. My mom was usually passed that stage when she came back home. I bring my legs up on the counter precariously. Though I know Fai's not violent, I'm still uneasy being left alone with a drunk person. Bad memories mixed with survival instinct, I guess…

"So, is that pie coming?" the wizard asks in a pasty tone, lifting his bottle as though proposing a toast. I shake my head with a small smile.

"I'll give you some tomorrow, when you can actually remember what it tastes like," I answer. Fai's eyes widen, and his lower lip trembles. I sigh. Here come the waterworks…

"Waaaaah! Strawberry won't give any pie!" he whines overdramatically, waving his fist in the air like a child. "I want pie! Meow!"

"Pie! Pie! Big kitty wants pie!" Mokona chirps, jumping from floor to ceiling and then back down again.

"You're drunk," I say calmly. "And I would suggest you both go to bed now, before Kuro-chii," I point to the second floor, where we can hear the ninja's yells over the two other voices, "comes and drags you there." The wizard calms down and eyes me amusingly.

"I'm not drunk," he answers, letting himself crash on the couch and stretching, feline-like. Then he adds, with a chuckle and a hiccup, "You're weird, Raki-chan." I smile sceptically.

"Oh really? So what does that make you, the King of Fools?"

" 'Course not. I'm a Big kitty!" he answers, then proceeds to singing, "One, Two, Three… Three little kitties with a ball of yaaaaaarn…"

"Shut up," Kurogane's stern voice interrupts the sing-song. He is standing at the base of the stairs, glaring intensely at the drunk wizard. Fai looks up to the ninja with a dumb grin.

"Kuro-taaaaaaaaan!" he exclaims, throwing his arms into the air.

"SHUT UP!" is the ninja's answer. "GO TO BED!"

"Not before I get my pie!"

"I DON'T GIVE A FREAKIN' DAMN ABOUT YOUR PIE! DON'T MAKE ME DRAG YOU UP THERE!"

"I want pie! I want pie! Birdy-chan won't give me any pie! She's mean!" the mage continues, oblivious to the other man's threat. The ninja's sanity wavers imperceptibly, and I can see his fingers twitch violently. For a moment I think he's going to strangle the poor Fai where he stands – or sits, in this case – but after a moment he turns towards me instead.

"CAN YOU JUST GET HIM UPSTAIRS BEFORE I KILL HIM?!" he yells. I smile reassuringly, slowly unfolding my body and slipping to the ground.

"I can't guarantee anything," I warn. "I especially can't guarantee that Fai-san won't be killed in the process," I add with a cheerful smile. Kurogane eyes me suspiciously.

"Weren't you the one who thought all this was amusing?" he growls. I shake my head.

"I said that it was amusing as long as I forget that I know them," I precise. "Unfortunately for him, I've suddenly remembered Fai-san very well. And he's annoying me like you wouldn't believe," I explain. "So he might die. I'm not making any promises however, so don't get your hopes up." My only answer is a death threat directed at the wizard. I carefully approach the couch, hoping I won't really have to do this. Because in my current state of mind, I see only two options: literally dragging a struggling Fai up the stairs, or resorting to murder. I don't like either one. When I reach Fai, the mage looks up to me drunkenly.

"Fai-san," I begin as calmly as I can, "could you please get up?" He shifts to his back and cocks his head curiously to the side, staring at me oddly with his big blue eyes. I sigh. "Is there anybody in there?" I ask frustratingly. The mage stretches both arms towards me with the smile of someone who is having the time of their life.

"Cawwy me!" he orders playfully in a high-pitched voice. I eye him suspiciously.

"That's not going to happen," I say.

"Why not?" he asks innocently.

"Just 'cause. Now get up," I order.

"Can you scratch my belly?" is Fai's answer. I suddenly understand why Kurogane wanted to kill him. The only thing stopping me right now is the knowledge that he's not himself at the moment. Well… fine, he's still himself, but slightly exaggerated.

"You are not a cat," I say slowly, taking a deep breath, "you are an incredibly annoying drunk man, who should really get up and go to bed before he gets violently murdered with his own bottle." For a second I think that maybe my point managed to get across; Fai's eyes seem the most receptive they've been this evening so far. But then he smiles, and I lose all hope.

"Oration totally at random and bothers?" he asks with the less convincing angel face I've ever seen, then giggles drunkenly and tries again. "Does my totally random oration bother you?" he asks. I frown, wondering what the hell happened to him – and if I should maybe hit him, just in case. Behind me, Kurogane snaps.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU CAN'T EVEN SPEAK STRAIGHT! THAT'S IT, I'VE HAD ENOUGH!" he yells, stomping menacingly towards the couch. For a second I'm scared Fai will lose his life, but the ninja simply grabs him by the collar and hauls him onto his shoulder.

"Waaaah!" the wizard yelps. "Big doggie's strong!"

"Shut up."

"Poor Big kitty can't do anything!" Fai continues whining, a huge grin on his face. "He's powerless in front of the amazing Big doggie!"

"Shut up."

"Big doggie's bullying Big kitty!" Mokona yelps joyfully. "Poor Fai!"

"Shut. Up."

"And Little birdy is doing nothing to help victim of such prejudice!" Mokona continues, falling back overdramatically. "She's sooooo mean!"

"SHUT UP!" the ninja exclaims, marching heavily towards the stairs. "I AM SICK AND TIRED OF YOU TWO! NEITHER OF YOU ARE DRINKING ANYTHING ELSE AS LONG AS I'M HERE TO KILL YOU!" he continues as he disappears from my sight, bringing Fai along with him. I can hear the wizard' voice over the tantrum.

"Yay! Free ride! I survived the Big doggie!" he exclaims. "Meow! Hey! Big doggie forgot my drink! You left it downstairs! Kuro-woofy, we have to go back and get it! Waaaah, Big doggie's ignoring me! I want pie!"

"Careful with his ankle!" I caution, hopping the ninja doesn't throw him against a wall in frustration or something. Mokona doesn't seem worried about this possibility, however; the fur ball has picked up Fai's half-empty bottle and proceeded to drink directly from it. I snatch it away expertly.

"You've had enough," I decide. Upstairs I can still hear Kurogane's screams and Fai's protests, followed by the flat thud of the wizard's body hitting the mattress. "Careful!" I yell for the ninja' intention. "If I have to patch him up again I'm holding you personally responsible!" Kurogane yells back – something about having nothing left to patch up when he's done with Fai – and I hear the door to his room slam violently. His heavy footsteps echo in the staircase as he makes his way back down under Fai's heartbroken cries.

"Kuro-wanwaaaaaaaaan! Don't do this to me! Meow! You forgot my bottle! Come on! Pleeeeeeaaaaaase let me out! Please! Mokona's gonna drink it all! Meow meow! Raki-birdy-chaaaaaan! I didn't get my pie! You guys are horrible! Waaaaaaaah! I'll just cry myself to sleep now… You're so cruel… I want pie…"

"As long as you shut up, I'll be fine," Kurogane mutters in answer. I chuckle, then get up on my toes and sniff Kurogane's breath. Surprised by my gesture, the ninja frowns and backs up. I land on the ground and shrug, satisfied.

"_You're_ not drunk," I conclude. Seeming insulted, Kurogane quickly replies.

"What made you think that? I'm not that guy," he protests, pointing upstairs to Fai. I smile sceptically.

"Maybe, but you can't hide those shots from me, big guy," I answer, pointing to the glass he left stranded on the floor. "I know you drank."

"Yeah, well," is all he finds to say. "I don't get drunk. Hate the hangovers." I smile as I take away Mokona's second bottle – that little guy's persistent.

"Trust me, the hangover's not the worst part," I say. "And you just have to drink a whole lot of coffee." His eyes narrow and he cocks his head slightly to the side.

"Coffee?" he asks. "What the hell is that?" My eyebrows come up in surprise.

"That hot drink I make for you in the morning," I inform him. "That's coffee. And just because you're not grateful enough to know that, I won't make any more for you." The ninja turns away and pouts.

"Fine then," he says. "I don't even like it that much." I smile knowingly, piling the bottle on the counter and grabbing Mokona in mid-air. In the two days we've been here, the ninja's developed a need for coffee in the morning that surpasses that of the average middle-aged working man. Just this morning, he chugged down five cups before heading out the door. I doubt he'll be able to last long without asking me to make some again – since I seem to be the only one here who can work a coffee-maker…

"Well, good night then," I say, climbing the first few steps of the staircase. "I'll clean up tomorrow, before the others wake up. You might want to get some sleep too, if you're planning on going shopping in the morning."

"No way I'm sleeping in the same room as that idiot," he grumbles in response. I cock my head to the side, never departing of my amused smile.

"The couch is pretty comfortable," I say teasingly. "Sweet dreams!"

"'Night," he answers gruffly.

"Can Mokona sleep with Kurogane?"

"If you value your life, come with me," I caution. "I don't feel like picking up your pieces – or Fai's, for that matter."

XxX

"_Are you sure about this?"_

"_Absolutely."_

"_Really?"_

"_Really."_

"_I don't want to hurt you…"_

"_You won't. Trust me."_

"_I mean, it's your first time…"_

"_I don't care. I want this."_

"_But you're only thirteen. I'll feel bad if something happens."_

"_Look, this was my decision, okay? You agreed, now just do it. I'll give you some time to get worked up if that's what you want," I say teasingly. He shakes his head._

"_Listen, you don't have to go through with this. I mean, you could just go home and we can forget about it…"_

"_Or you could just let me in," I finish his sentence for him. "Since you won't, we're stuck doing this. It all goes back to the same." Kento sighs hopelessly._

"_And there's no changing your mind?"_

_I shake my head, "None at all." I cross my arms defiantly as deliberating emotions flash on his features. I know he's going to agree with me, no matter how many arguments he manages to come up with. He already said yes. Kento's not the kind to walk away from a promise._

"_Sha," he sighs, "I'm really not sure about this…" My eyebrows shoot up doubtfully._

"_Oh, so now you're scared to lose, is that it?" I shoot. I can see his manly pride wince under the blow. Not only isn't he the kind to walk away from a promise, but he's never been the kind to walk away from a fight. I hear a loud gang of boys walk into the alley behind me, as though they own the place. I smile wolfishly._

_We have an audience._

"_Hey, Shirasagi!" one of the boys calls. "Getting ready to beat up your girlfriend?" Kento's manly pride takes another blow without a sound. I stretch apprehensively; he's going to say yes any second now. I know the breaking signs. His eyes fall to the ground and he slowly lets his breath hiss out, loosening every muscle in his body. The next words are loud and deliberate, as though he's trying to convince himself he's doing the right thing._

"_Shut up, Hiroshi," he orders forcefully. "No one's getting beat up. And don't call her my girlfriend." My smile falls a little, like it does every time he says something of the sort, but I manage to hide it behind a joke._

"_Oh that's right," I say playfully, "you swing the other way, don't you?" Kento stays speechless for a moment, until I speak again, "Shinju will love to hear that." The tip of his ears turn bright red and he looks away determinedly._

"_Shinju knows I don't go there," he answers hoarsely. I smile from ear to ear; Shinju's had a crush on Kento for a year now, and we've never left out an occasion to remind both boys that one of them would like to upgrade the relationship. _

"_So, since I'm not your girlfriend does that mean you can fight me?" I ask. He remains silent for a few seconds, then takes a deep breath. I observe his muscles roll under his toned skin appreciatively. He likes to build up; four times a week, you'll find him in the alley doing push-ups or lifting heavy objects people left here for lack of a better use. His excuse: "Beats spending money on crappy weights."_

"_Okay, so we said no kudans, right?" he asks and I smile victoriously. I won again. _

"_You can't defeat the power of my puppy eyes," I tease, and he snorts._

"_You have no such thing," he replies. "You used to, when you were little, but then-"_

"_I grew up?" I try with a hopeful smile. His grows into a teasing lopsided grin._

"_No, you grew ugly," he corrects. My eyes widen and my mouth gaps in mock insult as I reply hurriedly._

"_You're such a bastard!" I exclaim. He laughs._

"_Payback," he informs me. I pout and cross my arms, glaring at him from under my eyebrows._

"_That was low," I complain. "Which makes me think: one more rule. Nothing below the belt."_

"_Agreed," he says, chuckling. "That's an unfair advantage you have."_

"_Not unfair," I correct playfully. "I'm just a girl, remember?"_

"_Yeah, a girl who can beat the crap out of someone. That argument doesn't apply to you," he replies teasingly. I stick out my tongue in his direction. He eyes me amusingly._

"_You want to fight or not?" he asks. In response, I place my right leg back and adopt a fighting stance. The boys behind me whistle and laugh mockingly as Kento mirrors my actions, facing me determinedly. I inspect the surrounding brick walls with keen eyes, detecting asperities I could use to my advantage. These Kudan-less fights are always the hardest; they force you to depend on your own physical abilities, rather than on your spiritual and mental ones. In that sense, I seem to have an advantage over most people. But now it's just me and Kento. Kento's stronger, but I'm faster; and I know how to use the terrain to my advantage. Believe it or not, this is seen more often as my training ground than anyone else's. _

"_Hey, before one of you gets sent to the hospital, can we know what the stakes are?" one of the guys asks suddenly. I recognize the voice of Hideki, a sixteen year-old gang member from the neighbourhood. Looking at him you wouldn't guess, but the guy throws a wicked left cross. _

"_If I win, nothing changes," Kento informs him. A moment passes before Hideki speaks again._

"_What if the girl wins?" he asks. I turn swiftly on my heels and face him, both hands on my hip. I throw my chin up defiantly as I answer in Kento's place._

"_If I win," I say clearly for everyone to hear, "I'm part of the gang."_

XxX

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh," Fai groans. "Owwwwwie…" He painfully manages to open his eyes, then closes then hurriedly when he sees the light flooding in from the windows.

"Good morning!" Sakura greets him with a smile. "We opened the door to let the customers in, but…" she gestures towards the already full dining room. Word of mouth has made miracles; there were people waiting at the door before we opened this morning.

"Good morning Fai!" Mokona sings joyfully. The wizard groans again as he tries to get up, but instead stumbles a few steps before collapsing onto the counter.

"Owie," he mumbles feebly. I almost laugh at how pitiful he looks, but contain myself. It's his fault he has a hangover, but those things still aren't pleasant. And it seems like a pretty bad one, from the look of it…

"Are… are you alright?" Sakura asks hesitantly.

"There's this buzzing sound in my head…" he complains pitifully. I sigh, then grab my notepad and pretend to be jotting things down in it.

"Let's see, you're dizzy, can't stand light, have a headache and there's an annoying buzzing in your head… yup, you have a hangover," I dictate, as though I was a doctor. "My remedy is coffee, more coffee, and some sleep."

"Gaaaaah… that would be nice…" Fai groans, burying his face in his arms. I hurry to the coffee pot and pour him a cup of the strong, black beverage. As I hand him the steaming cup, he lifts his head up feebly and looks up to Sakura.

"Sakura-chan, are you alright?" he asks. The girl nods enthusiastically.

"Yes!" she exclaims with a large smile. "I got up early and didn't oversleep this morning!"

"She's a real firecracker," I agree. "You would never guess she was purring and meowing like a maniac last night." Sakura giggles and blushes slightly, seeming embarrassed.

"It probably would help if you stopped describing it to all the customers," she says. I smile teasingly.

"Fai-san isn't a customer, now is he?" I ask. "And besides, they all seem to find it really cute." Her blush darkens.

"Hey, by the way…" Fai's voice reaches us as he rises painfully to his feet, "where's the Doggie Duo?" In response, I stuff the coffee cup back in his hand.

"Drink," I order. He obeys with a smile.

"Yes, Raki-birdy-chan," he replies playfully. I smile.

"As for our little doggies, they went shopping," I answer.

"Kurogane-san wanted a new sword," Sakura adds.

"And Syaoran's the only one who can read the map!" Mokona finishes.

"Besides, Syaoran wanted a weapon too. Preferably a sword," I say, pilling cookies on a plate. Fai smiles painfully.

"What, he wasn't content with his ladle?" he asks playfully. I eye him suspiciously.

"Weren't you drunk?" I ask. Fai waves the question away.

"I wasn't totally out of it," he excuses himself. "That came later." I nod, handing the plate to Sakura.

"If you don't mind, table 7 ordered these ten minutes ago," I say. She nods hurriedly.

"Yes!" she exclaims. "I will work very hard!" And she scurries to the table I've just mentioned. I watch her leave with a tender smile, leaning against the counter.

"She's adorable," I comment. Beside me, Fai nods.

"She's trying really hard," he agrees. He finally seems to notice the large apple pie slice waiting under a glass bell near him. His eyebrows knit in confusion. "What's that doing there?" he asks. I shrug.

"Oh, I saved you a slice," I answer, a little proud of myself. "They went really fast." He cocks his head to the side and eyes me confusedly.

"What?" he asks again, blinking. I can only stare for a few seconds at his large questioning eyes. At first I think he's joking, but one look at his face erases all doubts. He really has no idea what I'm talking about. My eyes grow a little wider before I storm off suddenly, ranting in an irritating tone.

"Not totally out of it, my ass!" I exclaim. "You have no idea how much you made us sweat over that damn piece of pie! Honestly, how can you not remember that? You ungrateful idiot! And what are you doing, eating it?" I finish, pointing an accusing finger at him. The wizard had taken advantage of my speech to start picking the slice apart with his fingers and stuffing small pieces in his mouth. He looks up to me innocently, hurriedly licking his fingers.

"But it's good," is his excuse. I sigh.

"You're an idiot," I repeat, then poke his head. Fai falls to the counter, groaning and protecting his cranium with his arms.

"You're mean," he moans. "Cruel, cruel, cruel. What did I do?"

"The buzzing is back, isn't it?" I ask, taking his mug and pouring some more coffee in it. "Take this, it'll help." He sips the beverage graciously, then drops back onto the counter.

"I don't get you, Strawberry-chan," he says. "You poke me half to death and then you give me pie and coffee."

"Yeah, well I'm complicated," I answer. "And there's someone new at table 2, I better check it out. Just don't try to walk around yet, you're ankle's still really sensitive." I walk around the counter and grab hold of my plate and notepad. Just as I'm about to leave his surrounding, Fai sighs.

"That ankle is going to be annoying," he says. "I suppose Kuro-puppy won't agree to carry me around for the next few days, do you?"

"Not unless you feel like suffering a rather untimely death," I answer mindlessly, fixing my apron. "But don't worry; I'm going to get some groceries this afternoon." Fai perks up.

"Already? And what does it have to do with our conversation?" he asks curiously. I shrug.

"It has absolutely nothing to do with our conversation," I answer calmly. "Really, I don't know where you get that stuff Fai-san. Now drink your coffee," I finish with an enigmatic smile. I then turn away and make my way to the new customer. Even when I reach him, I can still feel Fai's eyes lightly following me across the room.

XxX

The bell chimes happily as I enter the small shop, balancing three heavy grocery bags in my arms. A smiling saleslady is standing behind a desk at the opposite side of the room; I head towards her, ignoring the countless shelves stocked with various pills, all seeming as useless as the other. I don't believe that medicine can solve all problems.

"Hello," the saleswoman greets me eagerly. "Can I help you with anything?" I pretend to look around for the item I came to purchase, trying to gain time. I have no idea how I'm going to phrase this.

"Ummmm…" I stall, biting my lip, "is this where I was told I could buy a cane?" Her head cocks curiously to the side.

"Yes, we sell that as well," she answers enthusiastically. "Any particular reason?" I turn to eye her oddly. How many reasons could there be to buy a cane? Do I _look_ infirm to you? Whatever…

"My… friend got into an… um… accident and he hurt his ankle. He's having trouble moving around, so I just thought I'd buy one for him, you know," I shrug. "He's not at the wheelchair stage yet." The saleslady giggles in her palm.

"What size is he? Approximately?" she asks, reaching for something under the counter. I balance my grocery bags and free one hand, which I then place a few inches above my head.

"Say, two inches taller than me? Like, this tall?" I say, almost loosing balance as the weight of the bags pulls me sideways. She smiles and pulls out a wooden cane – which strangely looks like Mokona's stilts in Jade.

"Would this one be okay? It's adjustable," she says, demonstrating the feature for me, "and it's the most resistant model we've got." I nod, remembering Fai's antics last night.

"We'll need resistance," I comment stoically. The saleslady hands me the cane. I take it, for a moment passing my thumb and appreciating the wood. Even though I know nothing about this, I can tell it's good quality. I turn it around to get a full view, and something catches my eye. I observe it more carefully. Suddenly, an urge to laugh overcomes me. I burst out uncontrollably, sending one of my bags tumbling to the floor. A bag of flour and several fruits roll at my feet, but I ignore them; my body is still shaking with laughter. The saleslady eyes me with a mix of curiosity and fear – and that only makes me laugh harder. I look again at the symbol carved in the wood. I honestly doubt this is coincidence, but what else can it be? Wait, what did that witch say again? _'There is no such thing as coincidence in this world. There is only…'_ Hitsuzen? Was that it? I scoff. Whatever Fate does all day, it certainly doesn't decide on stupid things like that. We have humans for that.

"Is there… something wrong?" the woman asks hesitantly. I shake my head, still laughing, and point at the symbol. She perks up, suddenly understanding. "Yes, that's the manufacturer," she explains professionally. "It's the BakaNeko mobility…" Hearing the name, I shriek in laughter.

"Just put it on my badge," I say, handing her the store's money badge. "You have no idea, but you and that cane have just made my day." She obeys, sending me puzzled sideway glances as I kneel down to pick up my stranded groceries, still laughing.

"Here you go," she tells me, handing me the cane. "Have a nice day." I bow my head slightly, having regained some of my seriousness.

"Thanks a lot," I say with a wide smile. "Really, I needed that laugh." She smiles in return, seeming somewhat confused. The bell chimes again as I pull open the door and walk onto the busy street. My eyes fall again to the cane in my hand, and the picture of a cat engraved in the wood.

"BakaNeko…" I mutter amusingly, and chuckle.

XxX

"Thank you for coming! I hope you have a nice day!" Sakura calls after the last customer who walked out the door, a young girl with short black hair and two long strands framing her face. The girl waves back.

"It was really delicious!" she calls back. I watch them, scrubbing the counter with a damp cloth. Fai is a good cook, but he can really leave a mess once he's done. Mokona helps me with his own, bite-sized cloth.

"Fiou!" he exclaims. "There were a lot more customers today."

"There sure was," I agree. Mokona turns to Fai, who is cleaning the dishes beside me.

"Fai, are you okay?" he asks, clearly referring to his ankle. I shoot him a sideways glance to know his reaction. The wizard smiles reassuringly.

"Yeah," he says. "And there was a lot more than the last few days." I nod.

"Given that we were only open for two days, I take that as an improvement," I comment stoically. Fai smiles in my direction.

"Ah, Little birdy, always so optimistic!" he teases. I turn around with a devilish smile and throw my cloth at him.

"I'm just being realistic, that's all," I reply. "With you guys living in that fantasy world of yours where little fur balls can travel through dimensions with people in their mouths, and souls look like feathers." Fai seems to catch my tease, because he comes right back.

"Yes, and that thing you call a 'cell phone' is very normal as well," he says. I pout.

"Not my fault you're countries a hole in the middle of nowhere," I grumble. He laughs. The front bell jingles as someone pushes open the door. As a reflex, Sakura lifts up her head and calls out.

"Welcome bac-" she says, but her greeting is drowned by a worried scream: "Syaoran-kun!" I whip my head to the side in time to see Syaoran enter the house, soaked and covered in bumps and scratches. His clothes are ripped in some places, and I have the time to notice a sword in his left hand before I jump over the counter. Nevertheless, the boy's face is lighted by a satisfied smile. Kurogane soon emerges after him. No particular emotion is apparent on the ninja's features, and he too is sporting a new weapon. He seems unharmed. I dash for Syaoran, along with Sakura.

"Syaoran is hurt all over!" Mokona exclaims, bounding after me.

"Are you okay? What happened?" I ask, though I already suspect the answer.

"Did another oni appear?" Fai asks, something like worry piercing through his voice. Syaoran smiles reassuringly, heading for the backroom.

"No," he says, opening the door. "I'll go and change now." And he disappears into the house. I sigh and bow my head in defeat.

"He'll never change, will he…?" I mumble to myself. Sakura waits beside me, startled by the boy's quick exit. I hear Kurogane sit down lightly behind us, and Fai reaches for something.

"Sakura-chan," he calls softly, "here." I turn around to see him hold a small glass container in our direction. He smiles. "Use it. Ointment for the wounds," he explains.

"Thanks," Sakura says before grabbing hold of it and rushing into the back room with a worried expression. The three of us stand there and wait for her footsteps to disappear. Fai then turns to Kurogane.

"Training for sword-fighting?" he asks. Kurogane eyes him suspiciously.

"Weren't you drunk last night?" he asks roughly, referring to his promise to train Syaoran in the ways of sword-fighting. Fai and Sakura were long-gone by then, and Syaoran went crazy a few seconds later. I didn't think Fai would remember that – even if he was still conscious at the time, he didn't seem to be paying attention to anything much other than his glass.

"I still had some consciousness," the wizard answers, waving his hand playfully in front of the ninja. Kurogane snorts angrily.

"So he says," I chip in, walking up to the counter and hoisting myself onto it. Fai barely gives me a glance.

"Still, such a strict teacher on the first day!" he notices. Kurogane shrugs.

"I have high expectations for the kid," he answers. Fai smiles amusingly and reaches back for a diner plate, which he places in front of the ninja.

"But seriously," he says, suddenly serious, "it's not a good idea to rush it." I eye him curiously. When Fai gets serious about something, you learn to listen. Because he might – just might – have a point. After taking a breath, the wizard continues.

"Oruha-san said that Outo's oni do not mistake civilians for hunters and attack. Which means the oni are intentionally doing that," he says, and I catch Kurogane's gaze shifting to Fai's cane for a second, following my own. Seemingly oblivious to this fact, Fai carries on. "The oni that are under the country's jurisdiction are called 'hunting targets'. It's quite obvious why the municipality knows their every move… Now that I think about it, all the oni are acting very strange lately." I frown. Is he saying…?

"In addition," he continues, cutting my train of thought.

"The new oni?" Kurogane asks, looking up from his coffee with a murderous smile. Fai nods.

"It might have something to do with Sakura-chan's feather," he concludes. I sigh.

"Doesn't everything?" I mutter. Both men eye me curiously, and I feel urged to explain myself. "I mean, think about it. Every world we go to, there's something weird. Every time, it has something to do with Sakura's feather. I feel as though it's supposed to be that way, like someone's playing tricks on us…" I can feel my features darken as I finish, "and I don't like it." I know we've already established that someone is watching us, I know I said I didn't care as long as he didn't try to hurt us, I know these are only speculations and it could very well be all coincidence. But I still don't like it. Kurogane shifts uncomfortably in his seat. I guess he hadn't noticed, or at least he hadn't thought it was relevant. His eyes glisten dangerously in a scarlet tone, and he opens his mouth as though to speak.

"You have to keep in mind that we've only been to four worlds up until now," Fai interrupts whatever the ninja was about to say. Now it's my turn to eye them curiously, turning my head from one man to the other.

"Really?" I ask, surprised. "So this is only your fourth world?" Kurogane grunts affirmatively and Fai nods.

"Yup! Hanshin was our first one," he explains. I frown.

"I was sure you'd been to more places before this," I say. "I mean, you all seemed to know each other when I met you…"

"Knowing each other is a question of insight," Fai replies, leaning against the counter. "Do we really know each other now?"

"I know enough," I scoff amusingly. I lift up a finger towards Kurogane. "You're a ninja with a caffeine addiction, an obsession over some obscure dragon-sword, a bad temper, and you can stuff a guy's head to the floor before he can say 'Ow'. As for you," my finger shifts to Fai, "you're a magician who doesn't use magic, can't stop talking about booze, cooks like a pro, and you're dreadfully annoying." I don't mention the other things I've picked up: Kurogane won't talk about his family, he's a big softy on the inside, he gets embarrassed when I yell at him, he can be a control freak, his ears turn scarlet when he doesn't know what to say, and he likes to state the obvious when he's nervous. Fai changes the subject when the conversation gets personal, smiles with his lips but not with his eyes, loves sugar, hides something from everyone but I can't tell what, is incredibly kind and always tries to put a smile on other's faces.

"That's you guys in a nutshell," I conclude rather proudly. Fai smiles amusingly and shoots a sideways glance towards Kurogane. The ninja doesn't seem impressed by my description of him, and scowls lightly in my direction.

"Shall we tell her what she is, Kuro-puu?" Fai asks teasingly. "You're a witch who doesn't know she's a witch, you can't use a fork and knife-"

"You're irresponsible and impulsive," Kurogane interrupts, adding his own ideas to the list.

"You hit really hard, you cook a delicious pie-"

"Constantly get into trouble, can't mind your own business-"

"Adore chocolate, tell good fairytales-"

"Hot-headed-"

"Protective-"

"Rude-"

"Independent-"

"Idiotic-"

"And on top of that, your hair's pink," Fai concludes with a wink. I scowl playfully.

"Ouch. Okay, so maybe I am all that," I answer, "but you make one more comment about my hair and I die yours green," I threaten the wizard. He grins widely.

"I wonder how I'll look with green hair," he reflects pensively. "What do you think, Kuro-doggie?" The ninja grunts and looks away.

"I don't give a damn," he replies gruffly. Don't ask me what the link is, but I've just thought of something…

"Hey, since we're talking about Fai-san's hair," I start, "you started training Syaoran today, but you said you'd help both of us. What about me? I'm jealous now," I inform him, pouting overdramatically. Kurogane sighs hoarsely and lifts his eyes up to the ceiling. A moment passes, which feels like an hour, until the ninja speaks again.

"Get your whip," he orders, still not looking in our direction. "I'm leaving in a minute and if you're not ready by then I'm leaving without you, got that?"

"Okay!" I exclaim, suddenly joyful. I hop off the counter and make a dash for the stairs, when something hits me. I spin on my heels quickly to face Fai, my eyebrows knit with worry. The wizard nods with a smile, already sensing what I'm about to ask.

"We'll be fine," he says, waving his arm in front of the empty dining room. "We're not busy, and Sakura-chan should be done with Syaoran-kun in a minute. Go have fun." I smile back and run up the stairs.

"Thank you!" I call out behind me. I burst into my room, untying my apron with eager fingers. My dress slips easily to the ground and I scramble around the closet for suitable clothing. I get dressed in record time, fiddle with my boots to get them off and slip on a pair of sneakers, grab my whip from under my mattress, and dash back down the stairs. Fai hasn't moved since I've left him there, grinning dumbly, but Kurogane is nowhere to be seen. Fai shakes his head amusingly.

"He shouldn't be too far ahead of you," he tells me, pointing to the right. "He went that-a way. I guess Kuro-woofy really doesn't like waiting," he concludes with a chuckle. I thank him with a wave.

"And don't hurt him too much!" I hear the mage call after me as I run up the sidewalk, craning for Kurogane through the crowd. I growl frustratingly. Honestly, couldn't he wait a few seconds more? Exactly how long is his minute? What if I can't catch up to him and I end up getting lost? I grumble a few curses under my breath, slaloming through the forest of arms and legs. Suddenly, my eye catches something: a head of spiky black hair atop a feline gate, heading away from me. I push against a man's shoulder and sprint towards the ninja.

"Kuro-sama!" I yell atop the crowd. "Wait up!" He doesn't hear me, or at least he doesn't care. I finally catch up to him as he breaks away from the crowd, walking up a narrow brick path which leads into a park. I lunge and grab his sleeve. He finally turns to look at me, the slightly panting girl looking up to him with a bewildered expression.

"I told you I'd leave if you took too long," is all he says, before continuing inside the park. I grunt and follow, already getting fed up. He's lucky I like fighting, or I wouldn't be here. Our steps lead us to a small pond, overlooked by two small cherry trees in bloom. A gust of wind picks up suddenly, pushing my hair away from my forehead. The small pink petals softly twirl towards the ground, and I absentmindedly catch one, marvelling at the softness of it. Kurogane stops a few steps away from the pond's bank and turns towards me, finally seeming to fully notice my presence.

"What the hell are you wearing?" he asks, looking down to my clothes. I frown.

"You didn't expect me to do this in my dress, did you?" I reply. I now sport a nondescript black t-shirt, accompanied by a pair of grey sweatpants. The basics, really. He only grunts and points to a rock, somewhere near the middle of the pond.

"Get on that," he orders. I stop my steps and shuffle nervously, eying the calm water of the pond wearily. The water doesn't seem very deep, but still… I flash back to the pool, nine years ago, and shiver. The lake didn't exactly help, but how do I explain that to Kurogane?

"I'm not sure about that…" I reply hesitantly. "I can't swim," I explain to his narrowed eyes.

"It's not deep," he replies. "It won't get passed your waist unless you fall in." I still hesitate. I know it's silly, but I don't want to.

"Can we do something else?" I ask again, but Kurogane doesn't answer. Instead he frowns and continues.

"You won't fall in if you do this right," he says gruffly. "And you won't drown unless you're too much of an idiot to stand up. So go." I stare at the ground for a few seconds, fighting against my own body. Every fibber of my being is screaming against what I'm about to do, and yet I know what Kurogane's trying to do – he wants to make me face my fears. I close my eyes, telling myself that I wanted this. _I'm not going to drown; it's just like taking a bath. Nothing's going to happen, it's not deep at all, Kurogane won't let me drown… _I fight against myself in what feels like an hour, before my muscles finally accept to loosen somewhat. Taking advantage of this fact, I act before thinking, keeping my muscles from tensing again. I leap, above the water, feet outstretched to land the farthest possible. My right foot catches the rock, and I quickly stabilize myself with my other foot before my weight drags me forward and into the water. I breathe hoarsely, unable to stop staring at the pond's calm surface. Finally I let out a deep breath and relax painfully. Securing my stance, I turn to Kurogane. If there is anything such as pride on his features, I can't see it. The ninja calmly bends down and picks up a rock, appreciating its weight in his open hand. He looks at me.

"I want you to dodge them," he says. "Don't fall, and if you can, throw them back. Use your whip if you want to. I'm not pretending to be an expert, so there's very little I can teach you about your weapon. However, I'll be merciless about the rest. Got that?" I nod. I decide against my whip for now. I don't know if I'll be better off without it or not. Kurogane flicks the first stone, which I dodge quite easily. The second one ricochets against the water and bounces back towards me at an impossible angle. I can't avoid it completely and hiss as it skins my arm. Swiftly follows a third one, and a fourth one, and then so many I lose count. My limited space annoys me, but I manage to dodge most of the stones without falling. My feet only slip once or twice, and I quickly get used to staying in my allotted space. Suddenly, Kurogane bends down and brings up a handful of rocks, which he proceeds to flick in my direction at top speed. I dodge the two first ones, curse as a third one scraps my cheek and stumble when a fourth one whacks against my ankle. Taken aback, I find myself bringing my arms up to protect myself instead of dodging. Kurogane grunts disapprovingly. When the rain of stones ends, I widen my stance and crouch, determined to prove to him that I can do this. He won't beat me with a bunch of pebbles, I decide furiously. Another handful comes up and is thrown towards me, faster this time. This time, I'm ready. Unhooking my whip rapidly, I shoot my hand forward in a sweeping motion. Most of the rocks stop in their tracks, falling in the water in a dozen of small splashes. The others deviate, and are now shooting towards the water, the ground or the sky. Kurogane cocks his head to the side and squints as though to analyse my movements, then nods in what I assume is approval. To my surprise, he drops the stones he has left and calls out to me.

"That's enough for today," he says. I frown. Already? Then my eye catches the position of the sun and I gasp. It was still high in the sky when we had arrived, and now it is about to set in a fire of gold and purple. Bringing my whole body together I jump, missing the bank by a centimetre and almost falling in. Fortunately I manage to hook my arms to the side and pull myself out, though my legs are now soaked. I shake them in the hopes of sending the cold humidity away, in vain. Kurogane looks down to me.

"You're not bad," he says simply. Before turning around completely, he adds, "And the only way to get the cold out is to move. So don't just stand there like a puppet and get your but over here." I nod hurriedly and follow without saying a word, silently hoping that Fai and Sakura have made something warm for supper.

XxX

Both I and Syaoran were sporting bandages at the supper table. Fai and Sakura didn't lose the opportunity to let Kurogane know they thought he was too hard on us, but neither of us spoke during the entire meal. Perhaps we felt there was nothing to add, or maybe we simply didn't want to get involved in a fight we knew we couldn't win. Nevertheless, maybe Kurogane was a little too rough on the boy; because he snored as soon as the lights were off in the room. I smile tenderly, watching both of them sleep soundly and hoping I could do the same. I wrap the blanket tighter around my shoulders and close my eyes, trying to put into effect the timeless – and useless – practice of thinking about nothing. Counting sheep doesn't work. Maybe if I just think of the day's events, run them through my head like a bedtime story, maybe then it'll…

XxX

"_So here you are, my little sorceress," the voice hisses menacingly in my ears, though I can tell the source of the voice is nowhere near me. "Here you are, you little bastard of a witch, you pitiful excuse for a living being. All grown up too, I see. You thought that by hiding yourself behind a world-barrier for so long you'd escape from me, didn't you? You honestly thought that I would let you slip between my fingers after all this time?" I stay paralysed, unable to know if the question is rhetorical, and unable to answer if I wanted to. I can't feel my body. All there is around me is darkness, no matter how much I strain my eyes to see. Do I even have eyes?_

"_Did you?" the voice repeats, sounding a little gentler this time. But all humanity drains from it quickly as a beastly snarl erupts in my ears. "DID YOU?" I yelp involuntarily, and suddenly my body gains substance. I feel myself pushed against a wall, or a floor, I don't know. The voice becomes gentle again, whispering calmly in my ear. _

"_I'll find you, you know," it says. "I'll find you, my little sorceress, you and your little friends who dare defy me. I'll catch you one by one if I have to. And when I do, you'll regret you were ever born, all of you. Because I won't repeat my mistakes, oh no I won't. I'll make sure you suffer with my own two hands; I'll push you over the edge until you beg for mercy. I'll break you, little sorceress, break you and make you scream for death, want it, love it, plead me for it. But I'll break you last, and I'll make you watch the others suffer before you do, just so you know exactly what will happen to you. I'll break you slowly too; suck away every breath of sanity left in your disgusting little body. I've learned from my mistakes, you see. I'll mangle your soul, crush your spirit. I'll make you regret ever crossing my path, you soulless shell, you motherless beast. And then, when all of you are squirming before me, only then will I grant your dearest wish…" I can feel its breath now, creeping up my spine like a cold chill. I try to move, but I can't; I seem to be struggling against invisible ropes, binding me to the hard surface behind me. The voice speaks again, this time reduced to icy splinters breaking on my skin. _

"_I'll kill you," it whispers. Two hands press themselves on my throat in a freezing embrace. I cry for air, struggling against my bounds; cold creeps in my veins. A sudden jolt of pain shoots through my body, taking birth in my stomach and pushing through the cold. I buck against it, against the hands at my throat, but it's no use; I let escape a last scream of agony before falling, motionless, on the icy floor. And still the hands push against my throat, squeezing the last breath of air out of my lifeless body as my scream echoes in the air…_

XxX

I muffle a sob, pushing myself up from under the covers. The cold air on my skin surprises me and another wail escapes my lips. My face is wet with tears and my body, with sweat. Carefully, wearily, I bring my legs up and bury my face between my knees, trying to forget myself in the reassuring sound of Sakura and Syaoran's breathing. I try to keep the tears at bay, but a few still manage to escape my closed lids and tumble down on the sheets. I bite my lip and muffle another sob. I can almost feel the cold hands on my throat, pushing the life out of me…

_I'll find you. _


	21. Control

DISLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TRC. Thank you for your attention.

Aisha is going crazy. That's the best way I can put it. The hormones are kicking in. And a little – kinda subtle, yet not really – hint about Aisha's past, her powers and the origin of her barrette. Let's see if you can figure out what it means! You probably won't, it's not that obvious. Like, really not…

* * *

I lean back against a chair and close my eyes as the reassuring smell of sizzling bacon and warm coffee fill my nostrils. I opted without a robe, and now I'm starting to regret it; the air is surprisingly cold, even near the stove. Or maybe it's that I'm still shaking with fear…

Stop it.

Don't think about it. It was just a nightmare. Just a nightmare. A dream. An unsubstantial illusion, created by my subconscious. It means nothing. Nothing.

Why can't I believe myself?

I press my fists against my ears and bend over with a grunt. My agonizing scream still echoes in my brain, as well as that voice… that dry, raspy whisper turned snarl, menacing, otherworldly and yet – oddly familiar. I've heard it before. I bit my lip, trying desperately to stop the reasoning in my head. As long as I don't acknowledge it, it doesn't exist. It never happened. It's only a dream. A dream. A voice. Nothing more. Nothing… I straighten myself and bend my head back, allowing it to touch the cool wall behind me. A sigh escapes my lips.

I've heard that voice before.

Not too long ago. A few days, maybe. In another room, another house, another night… Another world.

I grunt again, fighting against the answer I feel coming. That can't be it. It can't possibly be it. It makes no sense. I was tired, it was dark, my imagination was playing tricks on me. Fai said it was nothing…

Fai. Last time I heard that voice, I hit Fai with a book.

I squeeze my eyes shut and try to block away the sickly-sweet sound of the words it whispered – _I'll find you, little sorceress. I'll break you. You know it's not smart for a young girl to be alone at this time of night, little sorceress…I'll suck every breath of sanity left in your disgusting little body. Mangle your soul, crush your spirit…pitiful excuse for a living being…soulless shell…bastard of a witch…_

_Little sorceress._

Both times. It called me that both time. Before I had even admitted to myself that I was a witch, it had called me that. In a library, worlds away. Now, here, in the bedroom I shared with two others. And not just _a_ little sorceress. _Its_ little sorceress. I grunt, frustrated. What was that supposed to mean? Nobody knows, except me and Fai. Kurogane and the others suspect, of course, after the wall incident, but they haven't asked any questions. How could it…? How could a voice know things about me that I didn't know myself? And that world-barrier it mentioned… dimensions? I don't know. I just don't know; I can't think.

_Stop it. You're not hearing creepy voices. It was a dream, for crying out loud! Sure, it was a nightmare, but that doesn't change the fact that it's a creation of your brain. An illusion. A mirage. Nothing, in other words. Get a grip. Focus on the real. Focus on the now._

Now…

My eyes slowly open, as though from a lethargic sleep. I force myself to take a deep breath. A new, strange smell tickles my nose and for some reason, I shoot out from my sitting position. Only once I've staggered blindly towards the stove do I realize that the new smell is the distinct odor of burning bacon…

XxX

"Hey." I jump and turn around, a pan in one hand and a spatula in the other, nearly spilling the still-liquid pancake batter resting in the pan. The ninja is standing in the kitchen's doorway, arms crossed in front of his chest, wearing a simple yukata. I force a smile as I invite him in.

"Hey," I answer, turning back to the stove. "Slept well?"

"You're starting breakfast early," he comments, ignoring my question. I flash a quick glance to the stove clock: 4:47. I must have woken up at around three-thirty.

"I was hungry," I answer, shrugging. He grunts, sounding unconvinced. But he doesn't press on, and instead stays in the doorway silently for another few minutes before finally moving into the room. I hear him pull out a chair and sit down, and I flip another pancake. I take the one from the second pan and add it to the already respectable pile sitting in a plate beside me.

"Slept well?" I repeat, trying to engage in polite conversation. The ninja's silent presence behind me makes me uncomfortable. "Did Fai-san wake you up? I know Mokona's sleeping with us, so that can't be it-"

"Do you have any of that coffee thing?" he asks suddenly, interrupting me. I nod.

"The coffee's on, you just have to grab a mug and help yourself," I answer, pouring in some more batter to replace the pancake I've just finished. I watch it sizzle as it hits the pan, browning at the edges. I don't bother with my promise not to make coffee for Kurogane anymore; besides, I can't imagine myself stopping him from grabbing a mug and tipping the coffeepot. Really, that's all you have to do, right?

I pointedly ignore the ninja as he walks up beside me, opens a cupboard and takes out a mug. I only notice that he knows where to find things in this kitchen, which is good. When his mug is full, he goes back to sit at the lone chair I had brought for myself from the dining room. I say nothing, but finish a few more pancakes. I then cover the batter and place it in the fridge; I made too much for one breakfast, and pancakes are better when they're fresh. As for the plate of pancakes, it finds its place in the oven, next to the impressive quantity of bacon I've finished before Kurogane entered the room. I close the oven door to imprison the heat, then open the fridge again. I spot a small ham, as well as leftover mashed potatoes that I convinced Fai to keep. I also take out half of an onion, and place my new arsenal on the counter. Under Kurogane's stern gaze I cut the ham into thin slices before throwing them into one pan, then dump a mixture of chopped onion and mashed potatoes into the other one. It's not until both are safely stored in the oven with the rest and I'm scrambling around the fridge for something else to cook that the ninja finally deigns to speak to me.

"Why are you up so early?" he asks gruffly. I don't answer, staring at the fruit drawer and silently deploring the lack of strawberries – I was feeling game for a pie. But his coffee seems to have given new iniative to the ninja, and he doesn't give up on the subject so easily.

"You cook when you're nervous, right?" he asks again. I rummage through the freezer for something more than ice, refusing to answer that question. Not that he's right – or wrong, for that matter. I simply _act_ when I'm nervous; if I have an oven I cook, if I have a street I run, if I have an annoying creep I hit him. Heck, I'm pretty sure I'd find a way to knit if all I had was two needles and a ball of yarn. And now, I happen to have an entire kitchen. You do the math.

"You homesick?" the ninja continues, unfazed. My hand freezes atop a jar of butter. I bite my lip and close my eyes, thanking God the ninja can't see my face. I hadn't silently wished for someone – someone I knew – to be here to reassure me, I hadn't tried to pretend I was back home in my own kitchen, I wasn't cooking like a maniac to drown out my dying screams and the shaking of my hands, I hadn't wanted, even for a moment, for Kento or Etsuko, or even Mom to be here.

And I had not, especially not, been cooking the twins' favourite breakfast.

Desperately trying to believe myself, I close the fridge and try to compose as impenetrable a face as I can. I turn around and head swiftly for the door without another word. When I pass in front of Kurogane, I hear his voice call out.

"Where are you going?" he asks.

"Outside," I answer, without turning back. I can almost feel him frown.

"It's still dark. Where do you plan to go?"

"Just out back. I won't go far."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm gonna go kick a few walls. If you're hungry, serve yourself; everything's in the oven."

"There's still onis out," he warns.

"They don't attack civilians, remember?"

"They attacked the mage."

"Well then, they better pray they don't cross my path," I conclude, walking out of the kitchen. The ninja remains silent as I make my way out. There's no "It's cold. Wear a jacket," or a "Bring your whip, just in case." There's not even a "Be careful." Just his eyes burning a hole in my back. I knew I was invisible. Only when the back door is securely closed between Kurogane and I, do I let my mask crack a little. With a frustrated scream, I turn around and punch the door. I don't know what I was hoping to do, but all I've accomplished was to scrape my knuckles against the wooden frame. I press my lips against the pulsing skin, cursing under my breath. In a surge of anger against myself I kick the brick wall, only resulting in a painful toe. I kick it again, with the other foot this time. When angry or upset, I've never been one to punch pillows; I'd rather something that'll bite me back, so to speak. At least then I _feel_ something.

"Why the hell…?" I mutter angrily, hitting the wall with my closed fist. The question doesn't need an answer; it doesn't even need an ending. So many possibilities come to mind that I don't even dare think them all: _Why the hell did I take the shortcut to go to work? _I wouldn't have stumbled across that guy from a rival gang. _Why the hell did I run into that courtyard? _I could have ran right pass it, and none of this would have happened. _Why the hell didn't I force that witch to get me back home? _Because she wouldn't have agreed to it. Because even as I was contemplating the remains of my life she was using me for her own purpose. _Why the hell didn't I say goodbye to Kento and Ren when I passed them on the street that morning? _I can't answer that. If I do, it'll just open old scars I've been trying to forget. It actually seemed important back then… _Why the hell was it that price, out of all others? _It came so close to being something else…it could have been that stupid barrette, just a little knick-knack. But no, Fai had to speak up and get the witch to change her mind. I suddenly feel furious against the wizard, though I know I shouldn't be. He knows something about it, but I don't know what and he's not about to tell me. _Why the hell is everything so damn weird and complicated? _I want to go home, it's as simple as that. But everywhere I go I learn something new about the world, about the _worlds_, andabout myself. Now it seems I want to go back to a home that's further away than I ever thought possible; back to a past that turns out I didn't know that well in the first place. I hit the wall again, and feel the contact of the cool stone reverberate across my body before I let myself slowly slide to the ground.

_Why the hell did this happen to me? _

It's only then that I realize that tears are streaming down my face in an uncontrollable flood, rushing past my closed eyelids as though they didn't exist. Only then, also, do I hear the sound of my sobbing. And only then do I see the large silhouette barring the back door, looking down at me. I try to brush away the tears, but I can still feel them wetting my cheeks. I look up to the tall figure and attempt a smile, but it breaks as it shapes my lips.

"You know crying won't get you anywhere," Kurogane's gruff voice pierces the darkness. I nod, wondering if he can see my features in the dim light pouring out from the house. I hope not. I must look horrible; but if I do, he doesn't mention it. I see him peel himself from the doorframe and take a few steps in the darkness towards me.

"What are you doing?" he asks, more as a proof of perplexity than curiosity. I risk a joyless laugh, looking back in front of me.

"I told you, didn't I? I'm kicking walls," I answer. My voice scares me; it's strained and hoarse, almost as though it spent weeks without being used. I can barely make out the ninja's features, but I can distinctly see an eyebrow lift skeptically before he speaks again.

"You'll hurt yourself that way," I hear. I chuckle hoarsely.

"Like I care at this point," I grumble. The ninja grunts.

"Well if you continue thinking that way and you die, you won't be getting back at all," he remarks simply. Those simple words strike me by their truth. If I give up… then it really is all over. Fresh tears start to replace the old ones, and I fall back on the cool grass.

"Do you know what happened that morning?" I ask, not expecting an answer. There's no way he would know, anyway. "The last time I saw them? The twins…" my voice breaks, but I go on. "I wasn't late for work, but I was going to be. If I came in late on more time I was going to loose my job, so I was really busy trying to get everything on track. Then Hisho came in, and he wanted to ask me something, I don't even know what. And I just… brushed him aside. I said 'You'll ask me later', kissed him on the forehead, waved to Hinata and left. And it seemed really important to him, but I just ignored it and walked out the door. It bothered me for a while, but nothing much, you know? And I'll never get to answer his question, or any other question for that matter, and I'll never get to give them their birthday presents, or kiss them goodnight again." I stop, choking on a sob. "I met Kento and Ren while I was walking there," I continue. "They waved at me when I passed by, and I ignored them. There was no particular reason for it… well, yes there was. I was angry at Kento, and it feels so stupid now. He didn't even know why; I hadn't told him. I'll never tell him." It's strange, isn't it, that a world can crash so completely in a fraction of a second. That feelings can somehow change as suddenly as a lighting bolt. That very important things become silly in the light of new events. That redemption always seems to come a little too late…

"Just thinking about it won't change it," Kurogane says. I see him come closer and let himself sit beside me, with his back against the wall. I brush away a few tears, careful not to look at him. We're close enough now that I can make out his features, so I know it'll be the same with him.

"You know," he starts, and I notice he's not looking at me either, but rather stares up at the sky, "all the rookies get a phase like that, too. They're not sure if they can keep up, they wonder if they made the right choice, they get homesick and all they can think about is their families and their farms and whatever else they had to leave behind. Most of them get depressed just thinking about it. Some cry like babies. More than you'd think," he answers my silent question without so much as a glance in my direction. "A lot worst than you just did." Careful not to meet his eyes, I risk a question.

"So then what happens?" The ninja shrugs.

"Some of them give up. They leave and go back to their families and farming and whatnot. Some stay. Finish the training, find out it's what they want to do, and so on. But it's that little thing that really breaks them if they're not cut out for it, that phase they go through. Better than anything I can put them through, anyway," he answers. I can almost see the tiniest glimmer of amusement in his eyes as he remembers his tortures past. At another time I might have laughed, but right now the attempted humor of that last sentence is lost on me. I stare at the bricks in front of me, as though trying to bore a hole into them by sheer willpower.

"I won't give up," I say slowly, "just so you know. That's not a part of my plans. Never was."

"Good. It's not like you have much of a choice, anyways," Kurogane concludes. I feel him get up to his feet. "And you might want to stop that before the entire wall crumbles." At first I think he means hitting it, and I'm about to reply that it's my business, when I notice the cracks expanding in the wall. Before my eyes, they keep on growing like tiny vines trying to break free. When I notice, they already cover a surface the size of a beach ball. I blink and shake my head in disbelief; was there an earthquake that I didn't notice? But when I look again, they've stopped expanding and I notice that something's missing in the air as well. Some tangy sweetness that I hadn't noticed before and suddenly retreated, out of my reach. Well, at least now I know what was happening…

"Better the wall than you," I mutter to Kurogane's intention, nervously passing my tongue on my lips. But I can't help but wonder what would have happened, were I looking somewhere else. Part of me wants to say that I wouldn't have let the same thing happen to something else, but the other part knows I wouldn't have realized until it was too late.

"Get up," Kurogane orders suddenly, and I look up to him. He crosses his arms in front of his chest and sustain my gaze. "I want to show you something," he adds. Slowly, I pull myself away from the grass and the wall, and stand on wobbly legs. "Face the wall," he orders again. Not wanting to argue but skeptic, I obey and turn back to the bricks. My eyes follow the irregular pattern left by the cracks, but Kurogane's voice brings me back to the present, as though he was reading my thoughts.

"Higher," he points out, so I lift my gaze. The ninja positions himself behind me. "Now," he says, "punch the wall." I turn my head towards him, surprised.

"Say Mr. You'll-hurt-yourself?" I notice. He doesn't answer, but I can feel his eyes growing serious, so I find it best not to contradict him. I probably would have punched it without his help anyways. I bring my arm back and shoot it forward, but Kurogane stops me before my hand enters in contact with the cool bricks.

"But don't hit it," he adds, a little late. I frown.

"What's the point of this?" I ask. His hand lets go of my arm.

"Control," he answers simply. "Do that next time you get angry or upset, instead of trying to break down the house. It helps." Something dawns on me.

"Did you do that a lot?" I ask, curious. He does sounds like he's speaking out of experience. But all I get as an answer is a shrug before he continues:

"You'll find it's easy to bust a wall. Building it back, that's the hard part," he looks down to the cracks in the wall in front of us and frowns, "though I don't think you'll have much trouble with either." I smile and chuckle.

"Building it is still harder," I answer, thinking of our first night here and the busted wall. "This was nothing." A small smile grows into his eyes, which glow red in the shadows.

"And if next time you don't have a wall, just concentrate. That helps, too. All you have to do is take every last bit of anger, hurt, joy, whatever you're feeling; and you turn it to the task at hand."

"Right. I can knit for all you care, as long as I knit with passion," I joke. The weight in my chest has partly evaporated, and I notice that I'm laughing a little. Kurogane peers down at me, lifting an eyebrow, as though he's evaluating me.

"So," he says after a short silence, "what's the task at hand?" I look back at the wall and think of what's beyond it, of Sakura and Syaoran, Fai and Mokona no doubt still sleeping, of all the customers that will be bustling about when we open, of my next training session with Kurogane and Syaoran scheduled for this afternoon, of the breakfast still waiting in the oven to be eaten. Task at hand? Mine never ends.

"I was thinking blueberry muffins," I finally say.

XxX

"Mmmm. Those potatoes are _good!_" Sakura exclaims as I serve Syaoran another pancake. I smile at her.

"Thank you," I answer. "They're easy to do, if you'd like to learn. That way you won't need me next time you're hungry." Smiling back, she shakes her head.

"No, I'd be too scared to ruin it. I don't think I'll be able to make them as good as you do," she says.

"I'm sure Sakura-hime will be able to make them just fine," Syaoran chips in, before blushing and burying himself in his bacon. I chuckle.

"Here, you want a doughnut for dessert?" I ask Mokona, throwing him the hoop of warm, sugar-coated dough. The fur-ball swallows it whole in a vortex of wind, then lands on the counter with a dance.

"Yay! Aisha's donuts are the best!" he squeals.

"Save some for the customers," I warn, placing the remaining donuts on a plate, ready to be served. "And did anyone see Fai-san? It's almost time to open, and he hasn't come down yet." Sakura shakes her head, soon imitated by Syaoran. I look at Kurogane, sitting on the couch nearby, but he only shrugs. I look down at my plate of donuts and frown.

"I'll go get him," I decide. "He can't be that tired." So I march towards the stairs and halfway to the second floor without any incident. That's when I run into Fai, carefully walking down step by step, and wearing absolutely nothing but a pair of boxers. I freeze.

"Good morning Birdy-chan!" he exclaims, seeing me. I think I turn scarlet, before turning away violently.

"Could you get dressed please?" I stammer, trying to keep myself from observing the glow of his pale skin against the dark blue of his shorts. "We'll have c-customers in soon."

"Already? I overslept then," the wizard notices, cocking his head to the side. Instead of being polite and get back up as fast as he came down, to limit my uneasiness, he seems to stretch it and love every second of it. "I was thinking of getting some groceries done before we opened, but I guess we won't have time."

"I'll take care of things, you and Sakura can go," I reply quickly. Anything to get him out of my sight – and out of my thoughts.

"Thank you, that's very kind. How's Big Doggy going?"

"He's good, like always. Please hurry up and get dressed."

"Hmmm, it smells good! What's in the oven?"

"I just made donuts. There's muffins too and-" _please just go up and leave and stop being there, in front of me, with your goddamned perfect skin and bare stomach, where I can barely make out the shadows of muscles… And that lilac smell that lingers in the air, your magic, and that whiff of ice and snow that clings to your body like an armor… Did he always smell like that? Or is it just now?_

"Shit!" I yell suddenly, startling Fai. Under his curious gaze, I improvise. "I… left my doughnuts in the kitchen with Mokona! God, he's going to eat them all! Got to go, see you in a minute!" I call, swiftly retreating down the staircase before the mage can place a word. I burst into the kitchen like a horse on the loose, grab myself a bench and sit down noisily, burying my face in my hands to hide my heretic breathing. I'm a girl, I'm a teenage girl, it's perfectly normal for me to think that way, he was just a guy without a shirt, it's fine, it was just Fai… you've seen him everyday for the past week-and-a-half; he's annoying, and absurd, and nothing more than a normal guy. I've seen guys topless before, and the only one that ever had such a strong effect on me was…

_Not Fai._

I roll out it my head the traditional rambling about hormones and confusion and teenage obsessions, and that calms down my mind a bit. I imagine the school nurse's verdict: I'm a girl in a great period of stress, my hormones are going crazy because of inconsistent eating and lack of sleep, my periods are coming along soon and that's obviously not helping… I finally breathe out. I'm good.

"Aisha? Is everything alright? Did something happen with Fai-san?" Sakura asks, placing a concerned hand on my shoulder. I lift my head up.

"Yup, everything's fine," I answer a little too quickly, getting up. "You and Fai-san are getting groceries this morning while I run the place with Mokona, so you better get ready. I'll open the doors in about three seconds, so if you guys want to finish eating…" I look at Syaoran and Kurogane – who wasn't eating, but it's all the same. "And if you could stay a bit to help around while they go out, you're welcome, but you don't have to."

"Aisha, I can go and Fai-san can stay here," Sakura offers. "If you need the help…"

"Nah, you two need fresh air anyway. Just go," I say, silently thinking that I'd rather be an overworked octopus than to stand alone in a room with Fai this morning. "I'll make you a new list, 'cause I've used up a lot of stuff this morning." After the blueberry muffins were done I made apple squares, soon followed by donuts. I tried to get Kurogane to help, but I have never seen anyone less gifted in the kitchen – when I asked him to set the oven, he just stared at it blankly for five minutes before I took over and did it for him. I quickly jot down the missing supplies and hand the paper to Sakura. I then head for the doors, smoothing down my hair as I go. Before opening, I check my reflection in the window. It's ghostly pale, with big dark eyes and flushed cheeks. I paste a large smile on my lips and nod satisfactorily. I'm ready.

"Welcome to the Cat's Eye Café!" I greet the two waiting customers as I swing the doors open wide.

XxX

I swivel on my chair, legs crossed and arms relaxed provocatively on imaginary armrests.

"I'm glad you could come," I say to the lone figure before me.

"We had an agreement to discuss," a deep, manly voice answers me. I half-close my eyes and lean back.

"So we did. I've filled my end of the bargain, as you know. Now it's time to fill yours."

"I'm not sure what you mean."

I lean forward, towards the figure. "You're mission, were you to accept it, is fraught with perils and dangers, I'm afraid. But rest assured that, should it be refused… are we clear?"

"Very."

"Then," I bring my hands forward and let only the tip of my fingers touch, "Agent Mokona, your mission consists of bringing these plates to table 3, 7 and 12. Are you up for it?"

"Yep!" the fur-ball replies, joyful. The three plates are balanced in a delicate pile on his head. "Mokona will not let you down!" I watch as he bounds through the café, nearly dropping a doughnut but catching it at the last second – with his mouth. I shake my head in disbelief; well, I guess they won't be missing that doughnut… I could always pay them back with Mokona. But boy, do I love his voice-changing abilities…

The bell chimes happily as a new customer arrives. I turn to the source of the sound, only to find myself face to face with Ryu-oh, that brat. I get up and reach for my whip, which I place in evidence on top of the counter before greeting him.

"Hello. What's it going to be for you today?" I ask with a smile. He approaches the counter a little wearily, looking both ways before walking as though crossing a street, and I realize he must be searching for Kurogane – the big guy made it clear what would happen were Ryu-oh to come back in here. But I smile reassuringly.

"Kuro-puppy's gone, you can come up," I say. He comes up to me and leans against the counter, eying my whip. "Standard procedures against hooligans," I explain, tapping my weapon with affection. He smiles slightly.

"Is Little doggie here?" he asks. I shake my head.

"No, he's with Kurgie-woggie. It's only Mokona and me, for now," I answer. He nods. "Now, you want something or not?" I press. "We have fresh doughnuts, and muffins, and scones, and square-"

"Doughnuts sound good," he says, and smiles. I turn my back to him to grab a plate.

"How many truckloads?" I ask teasingly, but he seems to consider my offer literally.

"Hmmm… well, let's see… I think three trucks should be enough. But then people would expect me to share…"

"Oh please. Here, I'll just give you five, happy?"

"For now. Though if I get any fatter, Souma will kill me."

"What Souma doesn't know can't hurt her," I conclude, placing the doughnuts in front of him. "Now eat, cause I made them especially for you." He peers up at me, skeptic.

"No you didn't," he says, but I shrug.

"Fine then, if you don't believe me. But I just noticed you like sugar pretty much the same as I like chocolate – which means the word _like_ does not even begin to cover it. Conclusion? Extra sugar," I say, patting the plate. "Dig in." I don't have to ask him twice; no sooner has one donut disappeared that another finds its way to the bottom of Ryu-oh's stomach, leaving the plate clean in a matter of minutes. He even licked the sugar off!

"More?" I ask, laughing. "It's on the house, you know." His head snaps back to me, and for the first time he looks suspicious. His fingers play mindlessly with a grain of sugar.

"Okay, what's the catch?" he asks. I take his plate and start filling it back up.

"There is no catch. I told you I owed you, didn't I?" Another plate lands in front of him. Between two bites, Ryu-oh manages to ask:

"Do you know where Little doggie is?"

"Should be at the park, for all I know. But I really have no idea," I admit. "Why do you want to know?"

"I'm looking for him. Is that a crime?" he replies, suddenly on the defensive. I laugh.

"Not at all. A bit paranoid, are we?" I tease, taking my whip and hiding it behind the counter again. "Just wanted to scare you, I wasn't serious," I add, thinking of the hesitation in his step when he saw my weapon. "Though, does that mean you're afraid of our rematch?"

"Of course not! And don't think that because you give me donuts I'll go easy on you!" he replies with a smile. I snap my fingers in defeat.

"Damn! My perfect plan, ruined!" I joke. He laughs with me and hands me his badge. I refuse it.

"I told you it was on the house, didn't I?" I say, but he shakes his head.

"Souma'll wonder where the sugar rush came from. I can't tell her I stole from you, can I?" he replies. I cross my arms and peer down at him, defying him to force me to take his money.

"If Souma's the problem, then I'll take full responsibility," I decide. He sighs and shakes his head with an amused smile.

"You know, when I'm done fighting, I should work on being as butthead as you are," he says.

"Oh, you wish you could make it there," I say. "I out-butthead you any day."

"Okay. Now take my money."

"Hmmm? What's that? Mokona, I think there's a draft in here."

"I'm serious."

"Hey, isn't that Big doggie over there? Hello, Kuro-chan!" I wave, pretending to see Kurogane through the window. Ryu-oh jumps, turning around in time to see that the ninja is nowhere in sight. I laugh, bending over on the counter.

"You should have seen your face!" I exclaim. "And that yelp! Priceless!" The boy scowls down at me.

"I'll get you for that one," he growls, which only makes me laugh harder. I lift up one finger.

"One rematch at a time!" I warn.

"Okay. So tomorrow?" he asks, very serious. I stop laughing and look up.

"Tomorrow what?" I ask, not too sure of having understood.

"Our rematch. I'll come here after you guys close. We can go someplace where we won't break anything. " I look at him for a second, then nod.

"I'm game," I say, and shake his hand.

XxX

Kurogane drops the flour bags noisily on the counter, grumbling as per usual. I'm too far to understand the comment that escapes Fai's mouth, but the ninja's reply easily reaches my ears.

"You could've asked the shopkeeper to deliver them, you know," he growls.

"But it's a lot cheaper if you pick them up yourself. That's why I asked Syaoran-kun-"

"I'm sorry, but Syaoran-kun is-" Sakura interrupts timidly, before being interrupted herself by Kurogane.

"He's still practicing," the ninja says sternly. I'm busy placing orders on a table, smiling and chatting with the occupants. In the same movement I turn around and face another table, where new customers have just sat.

"Can I get you two something?" I ask to the two lovebirds in front of me. The woman giggles, sends her partner a loving glance and looks at me.

"We'll take two coffees and apple pie. We heard it was amazing here," she admits. I smile and jot it down in my notepad.

"You flatter me," I say, "but the chocolate fondant is pretty amazing too." She smiles.

"We'll stick with pie," she decides. I nod.

"I won't be long," I promise and make my way to the bar. Kurogane is drinking his coffee, having a chat with Fai.

"…but that guy," the ninja says, "uses onis to attack oni hunters. Only an oni can be another oni's companion." I walk around the counter and start the coffeemaker, then cut two slices of pie.

"But then wouldn't that be contrary to the City Hall's goal?" I join in as my knife easily penetrates the crust. "If the oni exist to keep hunters busy, they shouldn't be killing them off, right?" Both men stare at me, as though surprised to see me there. Where did they think I was? Fai is the first to regain his concentration.

"But if the oni are escaping the control of City Hall, then they could be listening to that oni instead," he says.

"Then, how could City Hall give an oni such autonomy that he takes control of all the others?" I reply. "Either way you look at it, it's City Hall's fault."

"Unless the oni suddenly realized that he was too strong to have to listen to them," Kurogane adds. I look out the window. I can tell night is coming…

"Where's Syaoran?" I ask, a little nervous. He's an oni hunter, so if he's alone at night he could run into something dangerous.

"He's still training," Kurogane answers matter-of-factly. "Which makes me think that you have to work on it too." I turn to him and frown, curious.

"Work on what?" I ask, while Kurogane pulls out a long piece of fabric. He hands it to me.

"Blindfold yourself," he orders. I snicker.

"Yeah, right," I reply. "What's that going to do?"

"It'll force you to sense the things around you instead of seeing them. I've seen you do it yesterday, with the rocks, but it's so inconsistent that you can't count on it," he explains. I eye the cloth wearily.

"And what am I supposed to do once I'm blindfolded?" I ask, almost fearing the answer. The ninja looks to the dining room, then back at me.

"You work," he says simply. "You can ask the princess or the mage to help you find things, or ask for directions to a specific table. But you can't, under any circumstance, take this off. Got that?" I take the cloth, then look back at the dining room and its maze of tables and chairs and people walking around without a care in the world. My gaze turns to the kitchen, at the oven and the knives in their drawer, of the heavy pans lining the wall and of Fai's cane, over which I trip enough when I can see. I look pleadingly at the ninja, but his stern gaze confirm that he won't let me pass this one. I sigh heavily and lift the blindfold over my eyes.

"Whatever happens, do _not_ laugh at me," I warn.

XxX

I hate blindfolds. There, I said it. I hate how I can't see a thing, how I can't difference the jam from the butter, and how my hands are already burnt from missing the mug while pouring hot coffee. Although I don't bump against tables nearly as much as I did an hour ago, the stares I can sense around me when I do are still as angering. And having to depend on other's eyes to do simple tasks is even worst.

"Here you go," Sakura says as she hands me a plate. "The doughnuts are for table 2, that's the one right in front of you, and the scones are the one right beside it. Two coffees on each table." I sigh.

"Yep, got that. Thanks," I say, taking a hesitant step forward in the general direction of the table. When I feel a chair in front of me, I stop. "Is this the table for the donuts?" I ask, hoping I'm at least speaking to something - and not to thin air, as it has happened.

"Yes, right here," a masculine voice answers me helpfully. I find the plate of doughnuts by smell – nothing else in the world smells like warm sugar – then hand it to what I hope is the table. When I find the hard surface, I sigh in relief. A pair of helping hands take the mugs from my grasp, when it becomes obvious that I can't tell exactly where the diners are.

"Thank you," I say grudgingly, choking on my pride.

"No problem," the man replies, and I hear a polite smile in his voice. I smile back in the direction of his voice and turn to my right, where I hope the scones are needed.

"The scones are here?" I ask.

"Yes," another man answers, less politely than the first. I force a smile anyways.

"Here you go," I say handing out the plate. No one helps me finding the table, so I scan the air in front of me for the wooden surface. Finding it, I place the scones atop it and smile forcefully.

"Who wanted the coffees?" I inquire, trying to locate the people around the table by ear. I've found other ways as well, less accurate: the subtle air shift between movements, the sound of breathing, the smell of sweat, perfume and cologne.

"Who else is here?" the man's voice practically snarls frustratingly. I swallow my pride and decide against replying. But really, do I look like I can see?

"Here you go then," I say, placing the mugs randomly on the table. "Have a nice meal." I hear an indistinct grumble about waitresses these days, and hurry back to the bar. It draws me like a magnet, the only thing in the room that I can find without anyone's help. It has become my anchor for the past hour, the only place I know I will be able to come back to, the only consistent area in this maze of chairs and moving bodies. On my way I hear a voice calling me.

"Hum, excuse me? Waitress?" a feminine voice stops me. I turn towards the source of the sound.

"Yes?" I ask.

"Could we have two slices of pie and three chocolate fondants?" she asks. I nod, trying to figure out which table she's calling from.

"Coming right up," I utter by reflex, hurrying to the bar. There I can finally breathe, leaning against a bench. I turn to Fai.

"Did you see which table that order was from?" I ask. The mage chuckles.

"How did you know I was here?" he replies. "I was sure I wasn't making any noise." I shrug.

"No idea; I just _know_. It's the same with Sakura, now that I think about it. Now, did you or didn't you see which table that was from?"

"No, sorry. But here's your three fondants. Need anything else?" he asks helpfully. I sigh frustratingly.

"Yeah, get me to that pie," I mutter, walking to the other sound of the counter. I keep a hand on the cold granite surface at all times, to keep me from straying away. Suddenly, a hand tries to grab hold of my arm. I jump away with a yelp, pulling my arm away.

"Don't do that!" I hiss violently. "How many times do I have to tell you, I can't see you coming!"

"I…uh… sorry, really," Fai says. "Though for someone who can't see me coming, you sure have quick reflexes."

"That's the point," I hear Kurogane mutter from a point along the bar. I stop a violent urge to stick my tongue in his general direction, and turn to Fai instead.

"Okay, now that you have my attention, what do you want?"

"I just wanted to know if you'd rather I get the pie, since, you know-" Fai offers, but I interrupt him.

"Honestly, I find it much easier back here than out there," I say. "At least the oven doesn't move because it would rather sit somewhere else, and it doesn't bring the coffeemaker with it." Fai laughs at my comparison to difficult clients, then gently points me to the right direction.

"Just a few more steps," he says. I easily find the pie with my fingers, locating the bulging wound where it was last cut.

"Knife please," I demand, holding out my hand. I close it around the solid object Fai hands me, and start cutting a slice out of the pie. Carefully I lift it out, and place it slowly on one of the plates I've set out in specific places around the counter to help me find them. As I'm about to cut a second slice, I hear Fai chuckle behind me.

"That's about three times as big as your first one," he says. "Here, let me help." I feel him coming up behind me, leaning over to peek over my shoulder. "I'm going to touch you, okay?" he says. Though I'm expecting it, I still shudder slightly at the touch of his hand on mine. Because I can't see, I am suddenly aware of a thousand other details; his breath next to my ear, the warmth of his body radiating to mine without touching it, the way his fingers grip slightly against my hand as though debating whether or not to let go. I barely notice the gentle pressure guiding my hand, the cutting of the pie or the burst of apple and cinnamon that swirls to my nose. One thing that I notice, however, is the void left by the warmth of Fai's hand once it's gone.

"I…hum… thanks," I manage, something catching in my throat. I cough, to hide my trouble; Fai doesn't seem to notice, or at least he gives no indication of having done so.

"Have a nice evening!" Sakura exclaims, somewhere in front of me. Then her tone quiets as she continues, no doubt for us, "Fiou! Only two tables left and we can close up."

"Thank goodness," I say. "Hey, do you have any idea who ordered these?" There's a small pause, as she probably studies the room.

"Well, it's probably the table all the way at the left," she finally says, "because the others are almost done eating. Do you want me to bring it?" Just at that moment, a voice to my right calls out.

"Excuse me!" it says.

"Coming!" Sakura responds, shuffling back to the dining room. I sigh.

"Well, I guess I'll take care of that one. To the left, eh?"

"Yes, about halfway through the room. You could just follow the wall and get there without any problems," Fai directs me. I thank him and circle the bar, heading for the general direction of the left. It takes barely a few seconds before I trip over something, a chair I think. I catch myself before anything is spilled, but the worst it done. People are looking at me again. Burning internally, I follow the wall and make my way to the only table where I sense some sort of human presence. I barely exchange the ritual polite small-talk before leaving, my plate empty and my heart full. I've tried to complain as little as possible, but this is on the verge of being the last straw. A few minutes of idle time pass until I hear the bell chime announcing the departure of the last customer. I crash on a bench, laughing in relief.

"And we are officially closed!" Fai announces. I lift up a fist in the air in sign of victory.

"Yay! I can see now!" I exclaim, reaching for the knot keeping my blindfold in place. But Kurogane stops me.

"You have to keep it for as long as you're working," he reminds me. I shake my head, annoyed. I know that.

"I am done," I reply. Just at that moment, the bell rings again and I hear someone walk in the room. I perk up, expecting Fai to inform them that we're closed. But instead, I hear Souma's smooth voice from the vicinity of the doors.

"Hello. I do hope we're not too late to get some more chocolate fondants, are we?"

"Oh, yes. And I smell doughnuts!" Yuzuhira adds. I sigh and slouch on my bench, almost able to feel the ninja's victorious glance in my direction.

Some people have such bad timing.

XxX

"Ah! Really, how can it taste so good?" Yuzuhira exclaims. I sigh, leaning against a wall and secretly hoping for them to leave as soon as possible. Not that I don't like them – I just want to regain my sight.

"Ryu-oh really is late today," Souma notices, worry piercing through her voice. Now that I think about it, I had noticed that he was awfully quiet – if he was even there, that is. Which he apparently isn't.

"Hopefully he won't be too late," Kusanagi says. Suddenly the bell chimes, making me jump and yelp. One… no, two people are panting at the door, probably too exhausted to step in. With relief, I find out Syaoran is there as well. When I found out Kurogane had set him out to find the café by himself with a blindfold, I was ready to burst with worry. Fortunately, it seems he found a companion. But why the rush…?

"What's wrong?" Fai asks beside me, serious. I shift uncomfortably. If the wizard is that serious, something must look wrong. It's Ryu-oh's voice which answers.

"We saw it…" he pants. "The new oni…"

"What?" I nearly yell, ripping off my blindfold in a fit of worry. I want to see them with my own eyes, make sure they're okay… The light blinds me for a second, in which I stumble slightly before resuming my dash for the door.

"You fought with it?" Yuzuhira exclaims, and I notice that she is now right beside me; Souma is not far behind. Ryu-oh is sitting, cross-legged in front of the door, with Syaoran standing beside him. I quickly scan them, but there are no visible wounds to be seen.

"No…" Ryu-oh answers, still panting. "There were too many onis… so we ran for it. But… that guy… is super powerful!"

"Well, thank God you didn't fight it!" I say, stopping in front of them. "Do you have any idea what would have happened? You could have been killed!"

"Thanks, mom," Ryu-oh snaps back, visibly frustrated. "I wouldn't have figured that out by myself, seeing as they were trying to stab us." I cock my hip to the side in a defiant position.

"Do you want to mess with me?" I ask, purposely making it sound almost like a threat. In my book, there are three types of people you shouldn't mess with: a guy with a bloody axe, a principal on a detention run, and a girl that's worried out of her mind. Try to guess which one I am. Sakura is now rushing to us, holding two glasses of water in her hands; she hands one to Ryu-oh, and then turns to Syaoran. But the boy is simply staring blindly ahead, seemingly oblivious to his surroundings. A look of extreme concentration stretches his features. The princess observes him worriedly.

"Syaoran-kun, what's wrong?" she asks. The boy seems to wake up from a dream; he finally looks at us, and seems to study each one before speaking.

"The person who was with these onis might be someone I know," he says slowly, almost hesitantly, like a child refusing to reach his own conclusion. "That person," he adds, "is the one who taught me how to fight."

XxX

"So, his name is Seishiro-san, is it?" I ask, looking sideways to Syaoran. "He's the one who showed you how to fight with kicks only. That's because it's easier to judge distance that way with only one eye, is that right? Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…" I apologize, covering my mouth. If he won't talk about being blind in one eye, I won't talk about it. But he smiles in my direction.

"Don't worry about it. Yes, he is the one who taught me that. But I don't know if it really is him…" he trails off. I nod. I guess things can get confusing when two people look exactly the same.

"Okay, enough chit-chat," Kurogane interrupts us. "We don't have all night and me and the kid have a job to do." I scowl in his direction.

"It's not my fault you're late," I reply, tearing myself from the wall. A bit further, I can still see the cracks I made this morning.

"I wanted to check something with the mage. And it's not your job to question your teacher," the ninja concludes. "Now, one in front of the other, and make it quick." Syaoran follows me to the center of our thin stretch of grass, and we both turn to face the other.

"Does that mean we'll be fighting?" Syaoran asks, curious. Kurogane grunts.

"Yeah. Without weapons for now, 'cause you can't use your sword properly. I'll be watching. Don't hurt each other; if you can, stop the blow before it reaches your opponent," he cautions. I nod.

"Is it free-style fighting?" I inquire. Kurogane eyes me suspiciously, probably wondering what trick I'm going to pull if he says yes, but finally agrees.

"Just one thing," he says, and point towards me. "I know you can't keep that magic of yours from going berserk, but if I see the slightest blade of grass acting weird, we're stopping this." I nod hurriedly, not wanting to use magic as much as Kurogane.

"I don't think it will," I say. Though I am impressed that he figured that much out about my powers without asking me about it. Maybe he went to Fai…

"Okay, now face each other again," he orders. "Fighting stances… I said _fighting_ stance. Good. Now, on my count… now!" I dash forward without letting Syaoran react. My fist comes up and travels half the distance to his right eye, but it's my right fist that makes contact with his skull. As predicted, his right side is better guarded. I back away a little to give the guy some space after the blow, but I don't have time to; his foot is already aiming for my stomach, and I have to jump to avoid it. The fight goes on like that: punch, block, dodge, kick, punch, dodge, jump, kick, block, dive, roll, kick. A few of Syaoran's blows hit their targets; most of them don't. But to his credit, neither do mine. I lose track of time, caught in the moment of the battle. For a few blessed moments I imagine myself in an alley of Hanshin, fighting Kento or Shinju, and I laugh. Remembering all of our fights, I know how to end this, as neither of us seems to lose ground. I dive to dodge another kick, roll back to my feet and jump. I bring myself to the house's wall, about three feet from the ground. There, I push myself away with a vigorous kick and soar. Arms outstretched like wings, I can feel the caress of the wind on my skin and the soft whistle of the air in my ears. And then, for an instant, I feel better than I have had for two weeks; I feel free, like nothing in this world could possibly touch me and break me down. I could fly now, I know it. Right here, right now. I am not Aisha Kazumi; I am the wind, the sky, the stars, the moon. I _am_ flying. I'm defying gravity, both in body and spirit, and that's all it takes, isn't it?

But all flight has an end, and all too soon I land on solid ground. Without loosing a moment, I twirl on my heels and dash for Syaoran, now inches from me. I push him back against the wall, just forcefully enough to obliterate any resistance, but gently enough not to hurt him. One hand pressed against his throat like a knife, I use my elbow and other arm to pin him to the bricks. Our bodies are so close together that they touch; my face is barely inches from his, staring in his wide eyes and smiling. Both our breaths are deep and quick.

"So," I pant, "do you give up?" To my surprise, Syaoran laughs.

"Yes," he says, shaking his head. "You've definitely won." I join in his laughter, loosening my grasp and backing away.

"You're pretty good," I say, still laughing.

"You as well, Aisha-san," he replies. My laugh is a free laugh, liberating my chest from its weight; but it's also a nostalgic laugh, remembering my too-soon-lost freedom as I was soaring through the night sky.

No matter how brief, a moment of liberation is never forgotten.

"Not bad, both of you," the ninja's gruff voice interrupts our laughter. "Though you both need to work on strength: you depend on speed too much. Especially you," he says, pointing at me. "Your agility is better than most, I have to admit, but you can't get a decently strong punch in there." I nod.

"Strength doesn't win a battle," I notice. "I've won against people twice my size, because I was fast enough to confuse them."

"Maybe, but with me you learn the way to fight properly, not the way the thugs in the alley do it," Kurogane replies. I pout and cross my arms.

"We are not thugs," I say. "And no, we don't get formal training because we can't. You learn what you need to survive, and you do it." He grunts and turns away.

"It's time for you to go to bed," he says gruffly. "Kid, take a break and meet me outside." Both me and Syaoran nod, before scuffling back inside. I chuckle, almost against my will.

"So I'm a thug now," I mutter, more for my ears than Syaoran's. But that doesn't stop the boy from answering.

"I don't think you're a thug, Aisha-san," he says, looking seriously at me. "And I don't think Kurogane-san thinks so either. He wouldn't call you something degrading like that." I scoff.

"How much do you want to bet?" I offer. "And for your information, he just did." Syaoran seems almost scandalized.

"Oh no, he didn't mean you. At least I don't think he did," he reassures me. "He was talking about the other gang members, the ones who fought you… I don't think he likes them very much," he admits with a small laugh. I cock my head to the side and frown, confused.

"He doesn't even know them," I notice. "How can he not like them?" Syaoran looks back at me as though the answer was obvious.

"Because they hurt you, didn't they?" he says. "Well, goodnight. I'll be hunting oni for a while, so don't expect us back," he adds, waving as he walks back out the door, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Kurogane… worried for me? Yeah, right.

XxX

"Do you think they're asleep?"

"How would I know?"

"If you don't want to talk, you don't have to."

"…"

"Awwww, why is Kuro-woofy so gloomy?"

"I'm not gloomy and I'm not a damn dog. Go to sleep."

"But I don't wanna!!!"

"You'll wake them up." BAM!

"Owie! Kuro-wanwan's mean!"

I shift uncomfortably on my bed. Did they have to wake me up?

"Shut up. And if you want to talk so much, explain this."

"But I already did! Wasn't Kurgie-woggie listening?"

"You know what I mean. She did it again tonight. Just a split-second where the stars flashed, I'm not even sure the kid noticed it." An awkward silence follows, as I debate whether or not to open my eyes. I'm already awake, but if I open them now I know I won't fall asleep again tonight.

"I told you everything I know," Fai's voice finally breaks the silence.

"Then tell me what you think," Kurogane responds harshly.

"I don't know what you mean."

"You think she could hurt someone with that magic of hers? Not knowing how to use it?"

"She doesn't need magic to do that, Kuro-pii! I'm a prime example!"

"Actually, I think she doesn't hit you enough."

"Awwww, you're both so cruel!" Silence.

"More importantly, do you think she could hurt herself?" Another silence.

"Why does Kuro-rin care so much anyway?"

"…"

"Oh, it's so cute! Kuro-woofy was worried for Aisha-chan! And look, he's blushing!"

"Shut up! And-"

I never hear the rest, because at that moment, I fall asleep again.


	22. As the Bluebird Sings

DISCLAIMER: TRC IS NOT MINE

Double update, yayz!!! ^_^ This chapter is pretty much made up of small vignettes loosely strung together until we get to the BIG FINISH! There's one of them that I like to call "Attack of the Fai fangirls" It's my wink to the die-hard Fai fangirls I know are out there right now, and who probably _would_ beat someone senseless with a chair if Fai was involved. O_o Everywhere he goes, he just can't get rid of them…! * laughs *

And yes, this is the last chapter in Outo (I let you guess what the BIG FINISH is about) I'm going to be so sad…

Anyways, hope you enjoy!

* * *

I stretch lazily, sending a mindless glance out the window and the young sun, sending its rays down on a waking world. I've always liked this; the universe seems so quiet, barely waking up, like a fragile flower at the end of a long winter.

When I was younger, I would always climb up a roof at this time of morning, to watch the sunrise and listen to the small hiccups of life floating up from below – a baby crying, someone singing through an open window, a happy tune whistled by a boy on his newspaper route. More recently, I would wake up on a roof at this time of day. Always the same roof: the old apartment building, five house down and across the street from my house.

From there, I could see my mother leave for work, in one of those only moments where I could see her like everyone else did: a tired, struggling woman in her thirties, always seeming to hurry somewhere, but never able to get there. I could also see what an unknowing eye would miss: her hair was still undone from her run to the bars, her suit was old and wrinkled from being worn five times a week for eleven years; she had the hunched posture of someone who's hopes had all vanished before her eyes, and I knew I was one of the reasons. I would watch her walk down the street and then turn the corner, her black, curly hair flying behind her. She looks so much like Hinata.

I would rush down then, hurrying to get to the house before the twins woke up. It was our schedule, our unspoken agreement. She had the house to sleep in at night, and I would have it afternoons and evenings, while she worked and went out. It was an odd cycle, but I kept to it every morning. And I used to wonder if, had my mother sat at my place one morning, she would view me differently? Would she watch my back dance with the shadows until it disappeared behind a concrete wall? Would she see me as a normal teenager heading for school with her friends and siblings, or as the girl she came back to at night, who hid her bottles and put food on her table? Would she maybe see the part of me that I had been trying to hide from her ever since I turned old enough to take care of myself?

After all, to really know someone you have to watch when they think you're not looking.

XxX

"Lovely," I comment, my spoon pausing for a second over Kurogane's already empty plate. "And you say I eat too fast."

"I was hungry," he answers, shrugging. I chuckle.

"And when I say that, you mumble something about kids not knowing their stomachs have a bottom," I reply, chucking some more eggs into his plate. "How was the hunt last night? You guys came in pretty late." The ninja takes another sip at his coffee. After all this time, I finally managed to show him that chugging it down in one gulp wasn't the best option.

"It was pretty good," he grunts. "A lot of onis. Though I don't think the kid slept much after we came back." I nod.

"He slept a bit," I say, turning around to grab the coffeepot, grabbing the ninja's mug from his fingers, filling it up and place it back in his hands expertly between two sips. Oh yeah, I'm pro. "Though you didn't sleep much either, judging on all the coffee you're managing to engulf." All I get as an answer is a grunt. I place the coffeepot in its place, then turn around. Probably now would be the perfect time to introduce the conversation: Fai is talking to Mokona, busy making pancakes and Sakura is upstairs to find Syaoran and bring him to breakfast. No one would hear us if we speak quietly. So I lean against the counter, resting my elbows on the granite surface, and paste a half-knowing, half-interested smile on my face.

"So," I start, like I would any other topic, "apparently I make stars flash?" Kurogane freezes for a split-second, but quietly finishes his sip and places his mug down on the counter. I know no one is paying attention to us; Fai is laughing too hard to be able to hear anything else. So it surprises me when Kurogane begins speaking in a quiet, subdued tone.

"It was just last night," he says. "When you jumped off against the wall, that one second you weren't touching the ground, they just… flashed. As if they were trying to light up the night for a second." I nod. I had felt something a bit strange during my flight, but I hadn't thought it could be magic. The questions pressing me are of a slightly different nature though; that sentence was just an opening.

"You know," I continue, playing with a strand of my hair, "I was a bit surprised when you didn't ask questions, after the wall incident." The ninja looks at me, but I can grasp nothing from his expression. He must be tough at interrogations. Or is that out of a ninja's job description? I take a deep breath and plunge. "You asked Fai-san, didn't you?" Again, no indication on his features whether I am right or wrong. But he nods, and I sigh in a mixture of relief and unease. So I was right. But that means I'll have to ask more questions.

"What did he say?" I ask, maybe a little too eagerly. The ninja eyes me suspiciously, and I think that I probably declared myself unintentionally. But if I did, he doesn't mention it.

"He said you couldn't control it at all," he answers. "And then he explained something about seals and memories and power, and… well, he said it was that thing in your hair." I play protectively with my barrette. So far, nothing I didn't know. But the ninja's not done. "And he said something about static magic being easier to control than dynamic spells, or something like that…" I perk up. That's new.

"Static magic?" I ask, running my barrette in circles between my fingers. Kurogane's eyes narrow and frowns slightly; he looks somewhere above my shoulder.

"So you did learn something," he says stoically, taking another sip of coffee. "Good for you. But your acting could use a little work." The last line was delivered matter-of-factly, and I find myself laughing at it.

"Hey, at least I don't ask personal questions point blank, Mr. Tact!" I point out, straitening up and taking his plate away. It was empty again. When he had the time to pick it clean, I'll probably never know. My hand comes back thoughtfully to touch my barrette. Dynamic and static magic, hmm? Sounds interesting; I should ask Fai about that. Maybe. I guess if Kurogane knows…

"Though is you want to know what that means, you better ask the mage," the ninja says as though he had read my thoughts. He does that a lot. "I don't understand any of that magic crap." I laugh again.

"Thanks!" I reply. "That makes two of us." I know I should feel eager to question Fai, or even upset that he hid something from me. But I seem to be wrapped up in some kind of happy numbness today; nothing, not even Mokona's antics or Fai's nicknames have managed to get to me aggravated this morning, and I assume it's just the same with this. Just then, the sound of steps coming down the stairs sounds in the room. I smile. I haven't really seen Syaoran at all this morning.

"You're late!" I call, just as the boy emerges in the room after Sakura. He blinks, not unlike a deer caught in headlights, as though I had just woken him up from some deep thought. But he finally smiles in response to my own.

"Good morning!" he answers. "Sorry I'm late."

"It's alright," Fai sings, flipping a pancake into a plate. "The pancakes are just about ready." Mokona bounds with a yelp and lands on Syaoran's outstretched hand.

"Good morning!" the boy salutes the fur-ball. Mokona loses no time in answering, then continues eagerly.

"Kurogane ate breakfast all by himself!" he croons.

"When you need to eat, you eat," the ninja replies. "I don't see any problem with that."

"Wow! You sound just like a ninja!" Mokona squeals, just before Kurogane's robust hand gets a hold of him.

"I AM A NINJA!" he explodes, squeezing the poor thing between his two fists. I giggle in my palm, then stop abruptly and stare at my hand, puzzled. I giggled? Beside me, Fai places two steaming plates of pancakes, smothered in butter and syrup, in front of Sakura and Syaoran.

"So," he says joyfully, "what's your schedule today, Doggie Duo?" From the corner of my eye, I see Kurogane stop torturing Mokona and turn slightly our way, no doubt waiting for Syaoran's answer. We all have been keeping to an unspoken rule that Seishiro - or whoever it ends up being - will not be mentioned in front of Syaoran; but now it seems obvious the subject is going to surface. Our impression turns out to be right. The boy looks determinedly up to the wizard.

"We're going to City Hall," he says, "to ask about the demon." I nod.

"Okay, but you're not leaving without any breakfast," I order, "so eat." The strange state I've been plunged in since morning forbids me to feel genuinely worried for the boy, but I still don't want him to starve and tire himself to death before he gets to his answers. And something tells me that he will if somebody doesn't keep him on track.

XxX

"Hello, welcome to Cat's Eye!" I exclaim. "Would you like to order something or do you need more time?" I flip my notepad open, waiting for an answer, but all the table of girls in front of me does is giggle. I tap my pencil against the notepad, cocking my head to the side and waiting. The girls seem completely oblivious to me, whispering words to each other in hushed tones and chuckling in their palms. I sigh. I used to have a name for these kind of girls, when I worked at a fast-food restaurant: the Gigglers. They'll giggle a while, make you wait, pause a second to order, then giggle again. You bring them their plates and they only giggle louder, between each bite. They usually drive me crazy, but I guess my odd numbness will keep me from muttering comments where they can hear them.

Their arrival is often easy to spot: a hot guy usually comes in a few seconds earlier and sits down alone, when it isn't a sports team or another walking in for an after-game lunch. You see, these guys usually get groupies. Apparently it's in the job description, ask Kento; he's the expert. But these seem to be the exception to the rule, as they are no good-looking guys in the room, as far as I can tell: an older couple is seated next to the windows, a group of Junior High kids are eating their sundaes in a corner and two quieter girls are enjoying a snack after what seems like a shopping spree.

It's the calm between Breakfast rush and Lunch hour. I have plenty the time to wonder what attracts their kind here when one of the girls finally deigns to acknowledge my presence and in doing so, answers both of my questions.

"Yeah, I'll take the hottie behind the counter anytime," she answers in a cascade of giggles, then turns to whisper to her friends. I follow their frantic but timid gazes and frown. They can't be talking about Fai, can they? I sigh. Of course. I found their prey.

"I was actually thinking something we have on the menu," I reply, biting my lip.

"Can't you just go get him for us?" another girl says, twirling a strand of her hair flirtatiously, as though she was already preparing for Fai's arrival. But another puts a hand on her arm suddenly.

"No!" she protests. For a moment I hope she'll calm the ardour of her compatriots, but the rest of her sentence discourages me. She turns to me and says, almost desperately, "Just tell me that he's single!"

"I… uh… yeah, I guess he is," I stutter, taken aback. She seems appeased, but not completely.

"What's his name? Oh, does he have a hobby? Please, tell us if he likes movies! What kind? Is he free tonight, do you know?" she shoots the questions quickly, without taking a breath. Once my ears stop ringing from the information overload, I manage to bring a hand up and stop them. All their eyes are fixed on me now, and I don't feel bad in the slightest for disappointing them.

"Listen, if you're not going to order anything _from the menu_," I emphasize, looking at the first girl to have spoken, "then I can't let you warm yourselves in here. If you want a place to sit down, there's a park nearby. And I honestly don't think he's free tonight." I'll make sure he isn't. There is no way he's going out with these girls. Never. But I am now the meeting point for seven sets of eyes, ranging from a full-on glare to a teary wide-eyed gaze. Fai doesn't seem to know he's the object of so much drama, and laughs at something Sakura has just said. The girls freeze, and their gazes migrate to the front as though they were one. When he's done, they all come back to me. The girl who ordered, visibly the one in charge, crosses her arms and tries to stare me down.

"You know, you don't have to be that possessive," she says reproachfully, standing up. I lift an eyebrow, taken aback. I'm possessive?

"Oh, and what are you?" I reply, taking an offensive stance. Her hip shoots out to the side.

"Well, at least we share," she answers, designating the group of girls at her side. "And besides, you said he was single." I almost laugh in surprise, realizing what she's saying.

"Wait a sec, you think I'm keeping him for me?" I ask, bewildered. Who do they think I am? "Are you out of your mind?"

"Are you? He is _gorgeous_, how can you not see that?" she replies. A few timid giggles erupt as most of the girls turn to fill their eyes with Fai's gorgeousness. I sigh and wave my hand to dismiss the question. I'm not exactly angry; but every time one of those annoying little sighs escape a girl's lips as her eyes fall on Fai, it just leaves me… irritated.

"Okay, enough chit-chat. I'm a waitress, therefore my job is to ask you if you want something. So I'm asking again: can I take your order?" I say, honestly hoping they'll just back down. For a second I think some of them will; but the leader seems to keep her ground quite well. All she needs is a window to attack.

"Oh, can't we just switch waitresses?" one of the girls seems to have a sudden idea. She turns to her leader and repeats again, "we're allowed to ask for him as a waiter, aren't we?" The leader eyes me slyly, biting her lip. I purse my lips slightly in an expression of disgust. I hadn't thought of that, I admit. My eyes narrow, daring her to pull that card. She does.

"Alright, I'm asking for a waiter change," she declares, holding her head high and proud, certain to have won. "I want him to wait on us." A few girl giggle at the thought. I scowl.

"I'm sorry, but that's not possible," I answer as politely as I can, pretending to study my notepad. Aside from the obvious, I'm also thinking about his ankle; though he doesn't need a cane to walk anymore, he still finds it difficult to walk around for more than a few minutes, so Sakura and I have been doing all the waiting on tables. And I won't be sending Sakura here: they'll eat her alive.

"Oh, and why not?" she replies. "You can't tell us what we can and can't do."

"Then I simply return the comment and prove my point," I reply with a grin. A few girls gasp, one even whistles. I've scored a big point, and they know it. It's the leader's turn to scowl.

"You can't do that," she finally snarls, though I can see tears glistening in her eyes. "You can't hog a guy if he's single. He should belong to _all_ of us."

"Oh, and which part are you going to keep once he's all divided up?" I reply, a little playfully. " 'Cause you can keep the mouth. And I'm serious." A few girls seem scandalized by my words, their eyes locked shockingly on me and their mouths agape. I'm pretty sure one of them is getting ready to beat me senseless with her chair when something unexpected happens.

"What's wrong with my mouth? Isn't it pretty?" Fai's voice rises teasingly from behind me, almost making me jump. I hadn't realized he was making his way to us. This seems to come as a surprise to the girls too, because they all seem pleasantly ecstatic to see him. For a moment the table stands still, and then the girls are talking and giggling and gluing themselves on Fai all at once, and I find myself pushed away from the quickly forming circle. I only have the time to see Fai turn his head towards me and mouth something before he is swallowed in the sea of groupies. I laugh. He only mouthed one word, yet it was brilliant in its relevance.

Run.

"Thank you," I say though I think no one can hear me through the chorus of voices rising in high squeals. The other customers are turning their heads towards the commotion now, seeming puzzled as to the cause. A few boys from the Junior High table are twisting their bodies to get a better view of the scene, and a look of profound terror at the energy of these girls emerges on their faces. I smile reassuringly to them. And then run I do, stranding Fai with the army of what I can only call fangirls at this point. I don't feel guilty; after all, he's the one who came, knowing what would probably happen. Though when I finally arrive to the safety of the kitchen, facing a confused Sakura, one thought keeps running through my head against my will: Fai saved me back there. It wasn't anything much. But still.

XxX

"She was going to hit you with a chair?" Sakura exclaims, helping me cut strawberries. I laugh.

"No, but I'm sure the idea ran through her head," I say, looking down at all the freshly cut fruit. Strawberry shortcakes, here we come. With whipped cream and a thick chocolate sauce; I'm drooling just thinking about it. Decadence at its second best. Because of course, not much can beat the fondants.

Sakura laughs. "But I'm sure you wouldn't have let her get her way," she says. "They would have been out of here before they knew what was happening to them!"

"Oh you bet they would have, sister," I agree, nodding. "No one beats me with a chair over a guy and gets away with it." We both laugh, thinking of Fai still recovering from the attack of all those girls. I think of all the times I've been confronted to a band of squealing girls who thought I was too close to Kento for their own personal comfort. Of course they were never this extremist, and usually a simple reminder that I was a gang member would calm them down. But I doubt that excuse would have made the ones in there back down; besides, I have nothing to show for it anymore.

"Here, I could finish that if you want," I offer. "You're tired, go get some sleep." Sakura smiles sweetly in response.

"Oh no, I can do this," she answers. "I need to take advantage of when I'm not sleeping, so I have to get as much finished as I can right now." I shoot her a slightly disapproving gaze, but turn back to my own basket of berries. We continue like this for a few minutes, exchanging pointless banter, when a pained exclamation diverts my attention.

"Ow! Oh dear…" Sakura's voice rings next to me, and in less than a second I have turned around, looking for the reason of this. The small knife now lies on the floor and Sakura holds her wrist with an expression of painful surprise. I stare for a second at the blood flowing from the deep gash on her finger to the counter, mixing with the juice of the berries in a crimson array. Then my reflexes kick in and I find myself grabbing her hand and pulling her away from the counter, sticking her wounded finger between my lips in a gesture I have done countless times before, opening a cupboard and rummaging for the First Aid kit. As soon as the blood enters in contact with my tongue, the salty and metallic taste sends a wave of tenderness sweeping through me as I remember the taste of Hisho's blood when he would scrape himself and I would kiss his wounds; the poor boy is so clumsy. And even when I could tell he was trying very hard not to cry while I was bandaging him up, he would thank me and say that I had made the pain go away. And always, I had to kiss the scrape, whether it was bloody or dry or dirty. I would always do it gladly, because despite my efforts to convince myself that it was usually just a scratch, I couldn't help but to want every last bit of Hisho's pain to be mine instead. Just seeing him fight back his tears was enough to make my guts churn painfully; I can handle pain, but I don't want him to feel any of it.

For a second it is his finger trapped gently in my mouth, his blood erupting against my taste buds, and I want to cry. The emotion is too raw, too powerful compared to the subdued excuses for feelings I have been experiencing since the morning. Suddenly I understand my strange state; the human mind has ways of keeping one from going crazy.

Forcing my hands to stop shaking and ignoring Sakura's puzzled eyes, I finally pull out the First Aid kit and open it on the counter.

"Here, let's just see what we can do with that cut-" I start, but I stop short when my eyes fall on Sakura's finger. Where there was a still-bleeding cut only a few seconds earlier, the skin is pink and smooth and flawless. I frown and examine her other fingers. I was certain she was hurt… but Sakura seems as surprised as I am, and the blood on the counter stands as testament to her injury. Shocked, I bring a hand to my mouth. There's only one explanation for this…

"Oh my gosh, your finger!" Sakura exclaims, pointing in shock to my left hand, still dangling at my side. But there's no mistaking the blood slowly trickling down a gash exactly identical to the one Sakura sported seconds earlier. I lift up my hand and observe it curiously; I notice that though the wound seems rather deep, it brings me no pain. I smile; so the numbness is back. I welcome it gladly, knowing what the alternative is. But Sakura's reaction is opposite to my own.

"Okay, just stand still," she orders as she pulls out a clean bandage from the kit. As she wraps it carefully around my finger I catch her gaze frequently moving to my face, yet retreating when she sees me noticing. As though she wants to say something but fears to. When the bandage is done, I bend my finger appreciatively and grin.

"That's perfect, thank you," I say. I'm not lying, or even exaggerating; I'm glad I ended up with the cut instead of Sakura. But the girl eyes me suspiciously, and I find myself feeling slightly ashamed as her green eyes pick apart my smile worriedly. To my surprise, she doesn't ask questions, neither does she mention magic in the slightest. As though she senses it to be an uncomfortable subject, as I know less about it myself than probably most people. Instead she simply takes my finger in her hand carefully, and looks up to me sadly.

"You didn't have to do that, you know," she says, softly brushing my bandage. I shrug.

"It's a cut," I say as though it explained everything. "It's nothing."

"Yeah, but it's mine," she replies softly. "You shouldn't have to bear it." I shrug again, but her eyes meet mine and she continues. "You can't take everything on your shoulders and expect yourself to carry it all the way." I know she doesn't only refer to injuries, but to my protective nature and my tendency to take everything at heart as well. There's nothing I can do about any of those, so I just smile reassuringly. I sense that admitting to her that I can't control my new-found ability to transmit injuries to my own body will only make things worst, as she'll expect me to hurt myself accidentally every time someone is wounded. But there is something I want her to know; I am not weak, and I have been taking a lot of things on my shoulders since a young age. So, she thinks I can't expect myself to hold on to other's burdens, if it means making everyone happy?

"Watch me," I whisper defiantly, as a dare to more than Sakura. In these few words, I am defying the world to bring me down.

XxX

I munch distractedly on a chocolate fondant – my lunch. Everyone's taking advantage of the empty dining room to grab a bite before lunch rush, and since nobody feels like cooking a meal, we feast on desserts and strawberries. The only one who seems to disagree to this diet is Kurogane, who apparently doesn't like anything sweet. Syaoran was able to convince him to take some fruit at least, with some help from Sakura, so the ninja won't die of hunger. Only the three of us are in the kitchen: Syaoran, Sakura and me. Mokona can be heard singing upstairs as he bounces on a bed – his new hobby – but neither Fai nor Kurogane are anywhere to be found.

"Do you know where Kurogane-san is?" Syaoran asks, looking around the kitchen and dining room. "I wouldn't want to leave too late."

"Yeah, yeah. The tower will still be there when he's done arguing with Fai-san, or whatever he's doing," I reply between two mouthfuls. Damn, this thing is good. Sakura and Syaoran exchanging knowing glances and Sakura giggles in her palm. I perk up, my mouth still chewing. "Whatsit?" my question has been reduced to an unintelligible mumble by the chocolaty paste between my teeth. This time, even Syaoran laughs.

"You really like chocolate, don't you?" Sakura asks, smiling. "We can tell."

I pout playfully. "Hey, it's only my-" I count quickly, "fourth fondant! And you say I have an addiction!" We all laugh, then Syaoran pushes away his plate. His face is now serious.

"But really, we should get going to the tower as soon as possible," he says. I stuff another bite into my mouth with my fingers. I sense there's something more about this Dwarf Tower than the hunters are willing to admit – hearing Kurogane talk about it, it'll be a safe little trek across a dark tower filled with oni. Syaoran hasn't told me anything about it either, other than the fact they're supposed to find some information about Seishiro in there. I was also able to find out that this Dwarf Tower is an area restricted to oni hunters – which, by definition, means that it's not going to be a picnic going through there. Though I also sense that there's a reason the guys won't tell us everything, and that reason is most likely named Sakura. The princess would die with worry if she thought they were going anywhere dangerous.

"Oh, it's nothing urgent," she reassures him now, finishing off her plate. "Though you will be careful in there, won't you?" I don't think she notices the brief flash of remorse cross the boy's face as he answers with a smile.

"Of course, nothing will happen," he reassures her, flashing his brightest smile. There's something almost desperate in the way he says it, as though begging the princess to believe him. I frown. That tower trek seems to be very important to him, and I think he might like some privacy with Sakura before he goes. So I make an excuse to leave the room.

"You know what," I say, "I'll go around look for Kuro-puu and Fai-san, how about that? Then we can all say goodbye and you guys can leave in time to be back for supper." Syaoran seems grateful that I help emphasizing his whole nothing-will-happen routine, and Sakura doesn't question my motivations, so I leave the kitchen with my chocolate fondant in hand, wondering where I should go look for them first. Now, if I was a ninja and an idiot wizard, where would I be?

Something stops me when I pass the broom closet in the hallway that leads to the washroom. Muffled voices seem to emanate from behind the closed doors; and angry ones at that. Curious, I bring my hand forward and slowly turn the handle, noticing it's been locked from the inside. What the hell is going on in there…?

I barely have the time to jump out of the way with a yelp as a tangled mass of bodies crashes in front of me. Under a shower of curses, the mage props himself on his elbows and looks down to the ninja cushioning his fall.

"Waah, Kuro-tan sure is soft!" he croons, flashing a dumb smile. Kurogane doesn't seem to find it nearly as amusing.

"Get off of me you bastard!" he yells, writhing under the wizard in an effort to get away.

"But I'm too comfortable here!" the mage replies. As for me, I am at first too dumbfounded to speak. Then the most obvious question untangles itself from the thousand possible options in my mind, and I am able to voice it.

"What were you guys doing in the broom closet?" I ask. Suddenly, the room freezes and both men slowly look up to me. Fai smiles brightly.

"Well hello there, Strawberry-chan! How are things with you?"

Kurogane's eyes widen imperceptibly. "Get off!" he orders, pushing the mage to the floor and standing upright. Under my puzzled gaze his ears redden and he shifts from one foot to the other, yelling down at Fai. "That's what you get for locking us in that damn closet!"

"Awwww, but I was the first one there! And you're the one who closed the door!"

"How was I supposed to know it was going to lock? And why were you pushing me against it?"

"Because I was trying to reach for the handle, silly. Kuro-sama doesn't seem too handy with hardware," Fai explains to my intention. "He didn't know how to unlock the door from the inside."

"I wouldn't have had to know if you hadn't decided to make it lock!"

"It locks on its own, Kuro-pii, I had nothing to do with it," Fai shakes his head hopelessly.

"You could have warned me!"

"I tried to, but you were too fast for me. Your ninja reflexes beat me by a mile!"

"You're an idiot! What do we look like now?"

"That's all very nice, but what were you guys doing in the closet to begin with?" I break the argument. They freeze again, as though they had forgotten about my presence, and look at me. Both give me the impression of wanting to hide something, though I don't know what.

"Coming, Sakura-chan!" Fai calls out to the silence and swiftly gets up, almost twists his left ankle but catches himself at the last second and practically runs for the kitchen, leaving me and Kurogane in the hallway, staring at each other. One of my eyebrows go up, asking a silent question. The ninja refuses to answer, but the red hue of his ears gets deeper. Finally, I sigh.

"Now that I think about it, Syaoran-kun was looking around for you," I say, offering him an opportunity to escape. He takes it graciously, muttering a quick thank you before rushing out the way Fai went. And I am left alone, looking down at the remains of my chocolate fondant and thinking that, really, did I want to know?

That was just so… weird.

XxX

A few notes escape my lips as I make my way to the kitchen, avoiding the dining room so as not to disturb any customers we might have walking in. The laundry basket isn't nearly as heavy as when we moved in, probably because Fai's bulky coats aren't a part of the load. But still, it needs to be done and the café is oddly quiet, especially after all the customers who invaded us during lunch. Taking advantage of the silence, I raise my voice a tiny bit and let the song flow out as though it was a bird, waiting for me to set it free. It's an old lullaby, that my mother would sing to me when I was a child, and which I then took myself to sing for the twins. If it ever possessed lyrics I've never known them, but the melody breathes of fresh air and travels, a song meant to be sung on the road as stones enter your sandals and the sun sets to welcome the night. It seems almost out of place here, in broad daylight, but that doesn't stop me; it's always been my song, and I sing it wherever I want to. And besides, since it's a travelling song and I'm on a journey home, isn't it appropriate?

I enter the kitchen to find Sakura asleep on the floor, Fai holding her up and whispering something. He turns around to welcome me and I smile in answer to his own.

"She fell asleep," he explains, pointing at Sakura, "while she was doing the dishes." I smile tenderly and put down my load, walking in the room and speaking quietly, as though not to wake her.

"I'll finish it," I tell Fai, "and you just make her comfortable." The mage nods. I walk to the sink and pick up the dish sitting precariously on the edge of the counter, dunking it in the water and proceeding to continue Sakura's task. Laundry can wait. The poor girl's been tiring herself, trying to stay awake all day and only sleep at night. Now that I think about it, I don't think she's even fallen asleep at an odd time since the first night we've arrived here. I smile as I watch Fai gently lift her and bringing her to the dining room, no doubt to lay her on the sofa. Good girl…

"Don't stop singing," Fai says. His voice is so soft that I almost don't hear it. "That's a nice song. Your voice is pretty, too." I feel warmth move up to my cheeks, and duck my head in my work before he can see it. As an answer I pick up the song where I left off, at first softly and then louder, letting the music guide my lips into the desired syllables to give the melody its splendour. It's the first time anyone has told me I have a nice voice. Sure the twins always ask me to sing, but they've never complimented my voice, and I've never asked. I always assumed they simply liked the songs.

No, now that I think about it it's not the first time I've been given that compliment. Last time I was with Fai, singing that very same lullaby to comfort him after he had told me a particularly disturbing fairytale from his country. I shudder at the memory of the story about the twins and their tower, and the thought brings me to Syaoran and Kurogane. Surely they must have reached that Dwarf Tower by now. I hope they'll be safe.

Still, Fai said I have a pretty voice. I like that.

From the other room I hear Mokona and Fai speaking, and Fai laughing. "But I'm always happy!" he exclaims, but I can't help but think that there's something off about the way he says it. Like Syaoran, who seemed desperate to have Sakura believe that he was going to be perfectly safe. I lower my voice a bit, listening to their conversation, and I hear Mokona's reply.

"But, you're thinking about other things when you smile," the fur-ball says. I can't see the mage's reaction, but I know Mokona speaks the truth. Fai's smiles are seldom real; I'm the first to acknowledge that. Though I am also probably the first to say that I want to make them real.

"Mokona, you are quite sharp!" Fai says, and I smile sadly. I know I'm not meant to hear this, but I listen anyways.

"It's one of Mokona's 108 Special Abbilities!" the fur-ball answers, sounding proud of himself. But his voice grows serious. "I know everyone is lonely. Fai, Kurogane, Syaoran, Aisha, we all feel lonely." There's a heavy pause before he continues, and I notice that my song is now a whisper. "But you know," Mokona's voice continues, "being together in this journey could make us less lonely. Being with Sakura makes you feel warmer. And being with…"

"Yeah," Fai interrupts, his voice almost imperceptible. "That would be nice…" I lean back and look into the kitchen; Fai is kneeling in front of the couch where Sakura lays, holding Mokona against his neck. He is looking away with an expression of sadness, but on his lips floats the hint of a smile. A small, nostalgic, barely-there smile. But a real one.

I open my mouth wider and let the notes escape, floating up to the ceiling and trying to infuse them with some joy and comfort, the way I felt when I was a child and that song was sung to me. I want to share these feelings with him now, to make him see that he isn't alone and that he can be happy if he wishes it. I hear the bell chime happily and lower my voice, but don't stop.

"Welcome!" Fai's voice rings joyfully. I can feel the chilly draft entering the house, and think that it's odd for a customer to leave the door open. Maybe they won't come in…?

"What can I do for you?" Fai says. Somehow, I don't see a reason for someone to stay in the door if they want to come in. I drop the plate I was cleaning into the sink and walk to the kitchen door, peeking into the dining room and still singing. The last notes die on my lips when I see the man standing in the doorway. Tall and cloaked, with jet black hair and an air of mystery, he stands only a few steps from the door as though afraid to come in; but his face betrays no hesitation or fear whatsoever. Instead, he sports a polite smile.

I must admit that he's handsome, but the effect is broken by his white right eye, visibly blind, as well as the aura of doom that surrounds him. For some reason, I suppress an urge to force him out of the house this instant and forbid him to come any closer. There's simply something profoundly threatening about this man. Neither men seem to notice me, and I quickly check on Sakura and Mokona: both are on the sofa, a fair distance from the door. But still too close.

"There are oni hunters here, no?" the man asks agreeably. Though his voice is smooth and nice to the ear, I can't help but shudder.

"That's right," Fai answers with a happy ring to his voice, but even that man must realize it is false. "They just went out for a bit." The man smiles sweetly.

"Aren't you one of them?" he asks, and Fai cocks his head to the side.

"No, I just run a café," he says. The man's smile melts away somewhat and his eyes narrow.

"But you have magic powers, no?" he says. Fai stays silent for a moment before answering.

"So do you," he replies. At that moment I realize that the aura of doom surrounding the man is in fact magic, and that I had been to preoccupied with analyzing the physical threat he poses to notice it. I want to speak, but something stops me; perhaps an old instinct telling me that in times of danger, better not be noticed?

"So," Fai continues, "why are you looking for the Doggie Duo?" That's right, this man is searching for Syaoran and Kurogane. Whatever he wants with them, I don't think it can be good. But the man doesn't answer right away; he finally seems to notice me, and eyes me almost curiously with both of his mismatched eyes.

"You know," he says, completely changing the subject, "They say that some songbirds stop singing in the presence of danger." Fai follows his gaze and finally sees me. A quick flash of recognition passes before his eyes, as though he had forgotten I was there, or had perhaps wished I wasn't. He knows this man is dangerous, probably more than I do. My first reflex would be to grab my whip, but it's under the bar; I can't seem to move from my nest in the doorway, kept here by the same feelings that scream at me to leave. Something is going to happen. And because I'm human, I want to see it – even if it means putting my own life in danger. The man smiles again, but his face is now half-hidden by his hood.

"As for the hunters…" he says slowly, and I see it. Just like when the onis attacked that night, when the hunters were sure all were defeated, and the pavement suddenly rose to form their biggest threat yet. I see that same movement behind the man in the doorway, and want to yell in warning, but I don't have the time to – two monstrous creatures have already risen and are looking down at Fai with bloodred eyes that burn like ashes.

Shit. That man has the onis on his side.

After the initial surprise, Fai seems unfazed by the creatures towering above him. The appearance of onis has, however, given me the initiative I needed to step into the room. A glance from the wizard stops me; it's a clear warning. _Don't come up here. __Go back. _I immobilize, but refuse to step back. My whip is still too far for me to hope reaching it and being back in time to stop the man if he chooses the precise moment of my departure to strike, so I don't dare move sideways either. However, my distance seems satisfactory to Fai – for now at least – and he turns back to the man and the oni.

"Oh, might you be Seishiro-san? The one who taught Syaoran how to fight?" Fai asks, with his usual air of naïve stupidity. I want to tell him to leave, but he seems determined to face Seishiro and I don't think anything I say will change that. Maybe he still hopes to make the man leave without any other stories; but I doubt that will be possible.

"So, you know Syaoran?" Seishiro asks in return.

"Yes, we're travelling together," the mage answers. The onis seem totally out of place in the situation, and neither men seem to notice them; yet their presence hangs in the room like smoke, and sooner or later they're going to move.

"Travelling between dimensions, I assume?" the man says. Fai doesn't answer. The man continues, "Syaoran doesn't have the power to move between worlds. That means, he made a pact with the Dimensions Witch, correct?"

"The same with you?" Fai replies. "You seem to have very strong powers. Maybe your ability to travel is in your right eye?"

"You're very sharp," Seishiro says, seeming amused. "I exchanged my real right eye for this ability."

"However, that eye is restricted in its number of uses, no? Particularly, how many times you can warp," Fai notices.

"Yes. That's why I've used this power sparingly," is Seishiro's reply. "All for the sake of meeting those two." One of the oni moves then, and this time I can't muffle a scream as it lunges for Fai, who jumps out of the way but only manages to miss the oni's blade-resembling arm by a few inches.

"Fai!" Mokona yells. I barely notice the two broken tables and the chipped floor; my eyes are fixed on Fai as he escapes another blow.

"Don't leave Sakura-chan's side!" the mage orders, dodging behind a table as the oni comes back a third time. I run in his direction, determined to help him. His eye catches me. "Stay there!" he yells, and the urgency in his eyes makes me slow down. I don't stop, however, and take another few strides towards him and the monster. "Don't!" he repeats, and this time, I stop. But it's only because I have to duck to avoid a half-table that was thrown in my direction. As I come back up, I notice the wizard's wince as he lands on his left legs. I gasp. Oh, no. His ankle. Seishiro notices it as well, and the oni stops moving. But it's still too close to Fai for my taste.

"Your leg hurts, doesn't it?" Seishiro asks, seeming to take some satisfaction from it. "You could escape using your magic powers…"

"But I've already decided not to use magic anymore," Fai replies. As soon as the words pass his lips, I know it was the wrong thing to say. Seishiro knows this as well, and a cold smile rests on his lips.

"Well, I guess it can't be helped," he says icily. I dash forward, propelled by my dread, as the oni follows my movement. "Goodbye," Seishiro says calmly, and the oni reaches Fai, hiding him from my view. The last thing I see of him is a flash of blue eyes glancing sideways to me, and a large claw reaching for his throat.

"FAI!" I scream. But I'm too late. When I reach the spot where the wizard was standing barely a second before, there is nothing left. The oni is still there, looming over me, but I don't see it. Something hurts in my chest, something that I didn't even know existed until now. Fai is dead. A thousand knives pierce through my skin at once, and I stagger with a hiccup of shock. Fai is dead. I look up, to the oni that killed him, to the man that ordered him to. The oni's eyes burn like a wildfire, bright and warm and red. The colour of blood. The colour of fire.

Fai is dead.

A raw fury mounts in my chest, and the world turns to fire. I turn to Seishiro, trembling in anger, and only then do I notice the small flames licking the floor around me, my legs, my arms; and the fireball in my palm, pulsing like a heart. Begging me to unleash it.

"You bastard!" I scream, and sweep the air in front of me with my arm. I know what to do. I have to kill him. The fire moves from my fingers towards the man who killed Fai in a large arc, burning through the oni as though they were nothing and leaving a smoking trail of ashes on the floor and walls. But Seishiro himself seems untouched, and I dash for him. He must pay. Another oni stands in my way, and I kill it without stopping. Two more follow, and three, and four, and my burning arms turn into deadly weapons. It's because of them Fai is dead. I don't think, don't reason; the flames run up my body without harming me before shooting out to the onis, who disappear in a cloud of black smoke. The power is overwhelming. I control fire.

I _am_ fire.

Finally, there is only me and him, facing each other in the room now black with ashes. I barely control my fury that screams to me to jump on him, hurt him, burn him alive. He seems unfazed by retaliation, and I think that I even see an amused smile flicker on his lips.

"You killed him," I snarl, shaking. And his message was clear: he wants to kill Syaoran and Kurogane as well. I won't let him. As long as I breathe, he won't touch a hair on their heads.

"So I did," he replies with a smile. The flames on my body grow larger as my rage swells in my chest.

"I'm going to kill you," I say slowly, detaching every syllable. His smile grows wider.

"I doubt that," he says, and another oni appears from the ground. I brace myself for it, but this oni doesn't try to stand between me and Seishiro. Instead, it turns to Sakura, still sleeping, and Mokona beside her. One of its claws positions itself above the two, clearly ready to drop. Seishiro smiles.

"NO!" I yell, and pounce. I expect the claw to drop on me when I jump between it and Sakura, but the blow comes from the side, ripping my flesh and propelling me in the air. I grit my teeth together, waiting for the shock. I crash into a wall and gasp for air, feeling the soft plaster denting and falling around me as I fall to the ground in a pile of rubble. I can't move; my limbs feel like lead. I try to lift my head but let it fall back with a moan. The wounds on my right side burn. My eyes barely open, and the few things I can make out through my tears don't remind me of anything. The fire no longer burns, that much I do know; my body feels so cold. I must have hit that wall harder than I thought: I seem to have partly knocked it down, judging by the size of the rubble cutting into my back. There's a shadow above me, but I can't make it out. Seishiro's voice reaches me, soft. If I weren't lying half-unconscious on the remains of a wall, I might say he sounds friendly.

"You truly are a beautiful songbird," he says. I can move my fingers now. "Very protective. Vicious, even, when it comes to defend her nest." I try to move an arm, but all I manage to do is groan again. I know Seishiro is going to kill me if I can't move. Just like he killed Fai. Just like he's going to kill Sakura and Syaoran, Kurogane and Mokona… The tears that fill my eyes now aren't just from the pain. I failed.

"You do know what they say about songbirds, don't you?" Seishiro continues. The shadow above me looks more ominous than ever, and I know the oni is merely waiting for a signal to kill me. I wonder if Fai saw it coming like this, if he knew without a doubt that he was going to die. I wonder what was going through his head as the claw reached for his throat. Was he afraid? I am. I don't want to die, not now, not before I get to see them again; I said I would get back home. I promised. Just like I promised to avenge Fai, to protect the others. I failed at that as well. I try desperately to move, but my body won't listen to me. I manage to open my eyes completely, but tears still cloud my vision. I bite my lip and try to move my left leg; it twitches. I try the same with my right, but after a supreme effort it still remains deaf to my commands. A cold, metallic object brushes against my cheek and down my throat, leaving a line of fire in its path. A blade. I groan. It hurts.

"It is said," Seishiro continues, interpreting my silence as an invitation to continue speaking, "that a songbird's most beautiful song escapes them as they die."

This must be the signal; I barely have the time to see a dark blade glisten through my tears before a sharp pain runs me through, pining me to the ground.

Oh, shi-

XxX

"_Aisha?" _

_I look down at the small boy in the crook of my arm. His large blue eyes look back, too serious for the face they belong to._

"_What is it, sweetie?" I ask, pulling him closer. For an eight-year-old boy, Hisho sure is small. I think Hinata's almost a full inch taller than him now, and she hasn't even started her growth spurt. _

"_You're not going to die, are you?" he asks seriously. I laugh and squeeze him against my chest._

"_Of course not, hon. Not for a long time, anyway. And neither are you or Hinata, so don't worry about that," I answer reassuringly. But he doesn't seem convinced, and his grave eyes peer into mine._

"_Do you promise you won't die before me or Hinata?"_

"_For sure, sweetheart. But why do you want to know about that?" I reply, puzzled. I know it's not something I can promise, and he knows it too. Hisho looks down, seeming a bit embarrassed._

"_Because if you die, then we'll be really sad. And I'd rather just meet you in heaven than actually know that you're dead. Then I wouldn't be as sad, cause you'd be there, you know?" he says. I smile tenderly and cradle his head against my shoulder. _

"_Ha! __You'd wish getting rid of me was easy!" I say softly. "You just watch, I'll still be there when I'm ninety, telling you to pick up your room and then spitting out my teeth. You're just gonna love me then." He laughs._

"_But I'll never want you to die," he says. I stroke his hair._

"_And why is that?"_

"_Because then who'd make cookies on Saturdays, why else?" he answers with a smile, no doubt teasing me back. I laugh and ruffle his hair. He turns to me._

"_I love you," he says, pressing himself against me and burying his face in my neck. I smile and rest my cheek on the top of his head._

"_I love you too, you little brat," I whisper back tenderly._


	23. Dangerous ties

DISCLAIMER: do you seriously think that I'd write this if I owned TRC?

Part two of double update! Drama, drama, and more drama! You know, I could almost turn this into a soap opera…

* * *

"Customer ID number 43567 is dead. Commencing emergency exit from Outo Country."

My eyes open violently and I fall back, blinded. My hand goes to my stomach, in search of the gaping wound I'm sure to be there, but finds nothing. My breathing is hard, and I find that I'm shaking. I test my right leg, my right arm. Everything responds. I take in a shaky breath. I'm supposed to be dead. I'm not. What does that mean…?

I look at the glass walls around me, curving gently to form an egg. Two gold wings spurt on either side of me, and a clasped locket seems to hold both halves of the egg together. I reach for it, but stop when I see my arm. It's bare. The long sleeves from my maid dress are gone. I look down to my stomach, and find with some surprise that I am dressed in my tank top and denim capris, my whip loosely slung to my belt. Only then do I notice what's beyond the glass: hundreds of eggs just like mine pile up on thin branches packed up to the ceiling, most of them occupied by a person. I look to my own level; Mokona is in an egg to my right, Kurogane to my left. Both seem to be fast asleep. I tap on the glass, wondering if it'll open. Where am I? The egg remains frustratingly shut, and I hit it harder. The thought of being imprisoned scares me, and now my foot comes up and hits the glass with a resounding bang, but the egg refuses to open. I am so focused on opening – or breaking apart – the egg that it takes only a light tap on the glass to startle me. I turn around swiftly, and my breath catches in my throat. Staring back at me are two blue eyes that I thought I would never see again; and a smile, that goddamned perfect fake smile.

"Fai!" I scream without thinking, and hurl myself onto the glass. I see him laugh, then press a large button protruding from a panel on the front of my egg. The top half of my glass prison slowly opens with a sound of suction, too slowly, and I slip under it as soon as the gap permits it. I don't know if I should laugh or cry or scream, and I throw myself against the wizard before making my decision. I bury my face in the soft fur of his coat and hold on to him as though I am afraid he'll just disappear – until I realize that is precisely what I am afraid of. His laugh – something else I thought was lost forever – reaches my ears.

"I'm glad to see you, too," he says. My hands clasp onto his coat. This isn't possible. I'm dead. He's dead. I saw him… and then the oni… and Seishiro said…

There's so many things I want to say. "I thought you were dead," is all I manage to whisper. I feel his hands on my shoulders.

"Well I'm not, don't worry," he answers. "Either that, or we both are." And he laughs again. I bite my lip and back up, pushing him away.

"It's not funny," I say, and start shaking again; my hands ball up into fists, and I stare pointedly at the floor. As far as I can see, there is nothing funny about this. And what the hell is this place…?

"Is everything alright?" he asks, putting his hand on my arm. I shake my head, brushing him away.

"No, everything is not alright," I say hoarsely, looking up at him. "You just died, Fai-san! I just died! And now we're here while this maniac is still in the house with Sakura and Mokona, and he wants to kill Syaoran and… well, you heard him! And what is this place?" I gesture to the eggs, and to the others' bodies contained in them, and my voice breaks. "You were dead!" I repeat, at a loss for words. There's a soft smile on his lips, and his hand comes up again to rest on my shoulder. He peers in my eyes and I can see something incredibly kind and sad on his features.

"I'm not dead," he says softly, and I can't help myself but to stare into his blue eyes. In this very moment, I want to believe everything that escapes these lips, no matter how false it is; because I need something to hold on to, just until I can get myself back together. And Fai is as good a thing as any to hold on to.

"But…" I say, and shake my head. "We have to do something to help them. This place…" I look up, to the countless eggs all around us. Could we go back?

"Is Edonis' Fairy Park," a female voice finishes my sentence. I start, and turn towards the voice. An elegant woman is standing a few steps away, two girls behind her. All are dressed in pure white dresses; the girls have sets of little golden wings sprouting from their shoulder blades. For some reason they seem somewhat familiar. The woman brings a hand to her chest.

"My name is Chitose," she says. "I'm sorry about your rude awakening from the dream capsules, but I would like to ask you-"

"Wait, dream capsules?" I say, and look back to the eggs where the others are still sleeping; Kurogane and Mokona on either side of my egg, Sakura and Syaoran further, and an empty egg where Fai must have been. "You mean… none of that was real?" Seemingly insignificant details assemble themselves in my head, forming a picture I should have noticed before: the registration where you can use pseudonyms, the onis that only attack hunters as though they could make out the difference, the girl at City Hall who gave answers as though she was a computer, the areas restricted to certain professions, the inability to leave the country without loosing everything… like a video game. Outo is a video game.

"Virtual… reality?" I say hesitantly, and Chitose nods. I don't understand. "But, how… we would have known if we would have entered the game-" That's when I notice Fai, brows creased and muttering strange things, eyes lost in the distance – as though he isn't here. I feel it too, and wince.

_I am shot out of Mokona's mouth, still rubbing my painful ribs. I barely have the time to see Kurogane fall beside me before landing on a hard substance – some sort of glass container framed by two gold wings. _

"_Ow," I mutter, getting back up. Can't Mokona check before letting us plummet to our deaths?_

"_Can't you be more careful when you spit us out?" the ninja yells to the fur-ball, who has landed smugly in a similar container to my right. I notice we have all landed in such containers; Fai is the farthest, followed by Syaoran and Sakura, then Kurogane. _

"_I wonder what this country is going to be like!" the mage says joyfully. Kurogane mutters something about travel requirements, and all I do in response is grunt as I try to relieve the ache the corset has left in my stomach. I just hope I get to wear a shirt here…_

"_Welcome to Fairy Park!" the voices startle me, and I turn to see three girls in white dresses and sporting tiny golden wings that mimic those on the containers. They float on strange platforms, hovering around from one of us to the other._

"_Let's play in the Dream Capsule, okay?" one of them asks a puzzled Syaoran. The boy only has the time to place a few confused syllables before another girl turns to Sakura._

"_Is this your first time?" she asks. _

"_Ah! __Yes!" the princess responds quickly, visibly as confused as we all are. What the hell are they talking about? But the girl seems satisfied with her answer and turns away to press buttons on a small pad she holds in her arms. _

"_I'll set it to beginner mode, then," she says. Suddenly, the glass around me expands to softly curve above my head. __An egg. __I press my hand against it, but it doesn't open. I'm trapped._

"_Now all you have to do is have a nice dream!" the girl concludes. A strange hum erupts around me, and my muscles begin to relax against my will. Beside me, Mokona already seems asleep. Kurogane is kicking his own egg, trying to force it open._

"_What? __Hey, no!" I exclaim, hitting the glass panel. What is this? As the hum intensifies I feel my eyelids become heavier, and the world around me blurs. I fight against it for as long as I can, but eventually my body numbs and my eyes close; the last thing I remember seeing is Kurogane, slumped against his egg, before the world fades into darkness… _

I gasp and emerge. One look with Fai confirms that we have been seeing the same thing, and we both turn to Chitose. She nods.

"To ensure to the player a complete experience of realism, part of their memory is erased before the awaken in Outo country," she explains. I nod, and begin to relax. They won't die, as long as they stay in Outo. The worst that can happen to them is to awaken here. That's a relief.

"Um, I'm sorry, but exactly what is this virtual reality Birdy-chan was talking about?" Fai asks. I start, remembering what Seishiro called me. Songbird. The similarity seems too odd to be a coincidence, but how would he have known?

"Outo is a world created artificially to offer entertainment to the customers of Fairy Park," Chitose explains, but the mage seems unconvinced. I take over with a sigh.

"It's an illusion," I rephrase. "Outo doesn't exist; we just believe it does." Fai nods.

"Right," he says. "So our presence died in Outo Country, but out bodies were still alive here."

"Pretty much," I say. Though the experience felt so real, I don't think it's fair to make us believe we are actually living in Outo. I thought I was dead.

"Please, I must ask you a few questions," Chitose says. "We must find out as much as we can about the people who are interfering with the Dream Capsule system. If we do not, something terrible could happen." I exchange a glance with Fai and shrug. He smiles.

"I'm sorry, but we know very little about Seishiro-san," he answers for both of us. "Syaoran-kun would be the one to ask for that."

"Well, he's a jerk. That I know," I conclude grimly and Fai places a hand on my shoulder. Chitose eyes us for a second, then sighs.

"He is the most flagrant interferer," she admits, "but I was hoping you could enlighten me about yourself." I frown, seeing her eyes on me. Seeming to have understood something, Fai snaps his fingers.

"So every time she…"

"Precisely," Chitose confirms, nodding. "If it hadn't been for that other man we would have been able to simply bypass those events, but she has sadly added to the stress of the system, and-"

"Hello there, I exist!" I interrupt, waving a hand in her direction. I can't stand it when people speak as though I wasn't there. "Exactly what was I doing?" Fai chuckles and ruffles my hair, and I duck under his arm and scowl.

"Well, let's see," the wizard says and begins to count down on his fingers, "you fixed a wall, almost broke one, made the stars appear brighter, caught on fire for some reason…" he turns and studies me, "and probably other things that I don't know about." I frown. What does that have to do with…? Oh.

"Sorry," I says sheepishly as I look at Chitose. "I swear I had no idea." She nods, but her face remains worried.

"We simply wanted to know what she used to manipulate the programs from the game itself," she explains, looking at Fai. "We thought maybe that man would be using something similar to-"

"Magic," I say. Poor, Chitose, she keeps getting interrupted. At first she frowns, then studies our clothing and seems to understand something.

"You two are from another dimension, are you not?" she asks.

"We are," Fai answers as I nod. If the people of Outo know about it, and they really are people from Edonis, then it makes sense for the people here to know about dimensions, right? Chitose sighs.

"I hoped it was something we could fight in the system itself," she admits. "You said it was that other boy who knows most about that man?" We both nod. She sighs again.

"I will relieve you then," she says. "You may go about the Fairy Park as you please, and once again I do apologize…"

"Hey, what is this Fairy Park?" I ask, suddenly curious. It sounds fun, I think to myself, though I know I should be thinking about other things than amusing myself.

"It is an amusement park. I am its creator. But please, if your companion awakes could you bring him to me? It is very important…"

"What's an amusement park?" Fai asks, and I almost laugh at Chitose's expression. She doesn't seem like the type that's used to being interrupted constantly like this.

"I'll explain it to you later," I say. "Now let the lady talk." Chitose clears her throat thankfully and gestures towards the two girls behind her.

"They will lead you to the park itself, and show you where to find me when your companion is evacuated from the game," she says, and I nod. She swiftly turns on her heels and disappears from our sight, leaving us to the care of the overenthusiastic duo that quickly leads us down a ramp, shows us a large door to be opened when we need to speak to Chitose again and never quite stops babbling about random subjects. I humour them, though Fai gets a few slaps upside the head after certain slightly perverted comments. When we finally get to the doors that mark the exit of the egg-room, as I call it, the two girls pause. They place themselves on either side of the door and turn towards us like a rehearsed pair. Slowly, the doors open to show a fairy-like décor; roller-coaster tracks cross in the sky, a wheel turns lazily for the amusement of children, people run and scream and laugh around the various stands selling food and giving away stuffed animals in exchange for an accurate throw.

"Welcome to Fairy Park!" both girls exclaim in unison. I can't help but smile at the scent of cotton candy reaching my nostrils.

"This is really cool," I say, observing the life bustling around us. Fai nods.

"Hyuu! I understand why people like to come here," he says. I send him a sideways glance and smile. He seems genuinely impressed by the grandeur of the place, and I admit that I am too. Maybe it wasn't so bad that I died back then; after all, I get to be here now.

"For some strange reason, I want popcorn," I reflect, and Fai laughs.

"Then away, let's find popcorn!" he exclaims, marching determinedly towards the park. I stay behind, suddenly hesitant at entering the crowd. I'm starting to understand the difference between Outo and the real world; everything here is so present, so raw, so concrete, compared to the world I have lived in for the past few days. The mage doesn't seem to notice my absence until he has practically reached the first stand. Then he turns around to face me, his blue eyes confused and asking why I stay behind. I smile timidly, waving. I find him out of place there, the only familiar thing in a foreign world.

"Hey Raki-birdy-chan!" he calls out to me, cocking his head curiously to the side. "What exactly is popcorn?" I can't help myself; I laugh, running to his side and shaking my head hopelessly. Before his puzzled expression, I grab his arm to guide him through the bustling crowd, still laughing. And suddenly, for a moment, I am just happy to be alive; here, now, with Fai, under a dark blue sky that shines like a sapphire, and like something else that I refuse myself to think about.

XxX

"Mhm."

"What?"

"You know, they're probably sure we're dead back there."

"Probably."

"They must be worried sick."

"Not if they think we're dead."

"Well then, they're probably upset."

"I guess. More popcorn?"

"Sure." I take a handful from the bag Fai is handing me and munch on it silently as we observe the unchanging eggs still holding our companions. I insisted we come back in case one of them wakes up; I haven't forgotten Seishiro's threat to kill Syaoran and Kurogane, and I don't want them to awake alone in this strange place. It's disorienting enough when someone you know is waiting, I don't know how Fai managed it. I swallow. I couldn't help but notice the slight sarcasm piercing through the mage's voices as he agreed that the others must be upset about our deaths. Almost as if he doubted it.

"Kuro-rin especially," I add, taking another fistful of popcorn. I observe the mage's eyes narrow slightly and harden as he pretends to observe the floor of the floating platform we've borrowed from a smiling hostess.

"I think Kuro-sama might have other things to worry about these days," he comments coolly. An awkward silence follows, as I try to understand what Fai meant by that. The times Kurogane hasn't been upset when Fai was hurt can be counted on one hand, and even then… it took him about two seconds to break his sword protecting the guy, you'd think Fai would get the message. Then again, it took me about as long to light on fire and try to kill someone… I shake my head at the memory. That has nothing to do with this. Fai sends me a sideways glance, then bursts in a laugh.

"Are you alright, or should I get the bug that got stuck in your ear?" he asks teasingly. I scowl and punch him on the shoulder.

"Don't push it or you might end up roasted," I warn. His face goes serious.

"What exactly… happened over there?" he asks, shooting a glance towards my empty egg. I grimace and tap him on the shoulder.

"Nothing you have to worry about," I say, but he grabs my wrist and looks at me so seriously that I sigh in defeat. "Fine," I say and tell him the story, omitting a few details; the empty pain in my chest when I thought he was dead, the deep gashes I could feel running on my right-hand side, my fear as I knew Seishiro was going to kill me. No point in him knowing that. When I finish, we both stare at the floor for an instant before he breaks the silence.

"I'm sorry," he says. I shake my head.

"Don't be. It's not like you decided to die," I reply, to which he offers a bittersweet smile. I can tell he tries to appear joyful, but the corners of his mouth fall slightly.

"I'm pretty useless," he sighs with a fatalist shrug. I shove some more popcorn in my mouth, silently wishing we would be having another conversation. Anything else; something light and fluffy and that doesn't force me to think. To think about my actions, about the feelings that overcame me when Fai died, about my violent and decidedly stupid reaction. About my need, even now, to reassure him. I swallow slowly, and then turn to him.

"You aren't useless," I say, poking at the red and white stripped bag in his hands. "You hold popcorn." He looks at me for a second, clearly debating on the appropriate reaction, and then he starts laughing. I laugh with him, but neither of us mean it. The moment of joy at simply being alive, the wonder I felt roaming the park with Fai to find popcorn is gone, replaced by a headache of muddled emotions and confused silences. Something feels right, something I know should feel wrong, and I can't put my finger on it.

"You know you didn't have to fight Seishiro," Fai finally says. I bite my thumb and frown. Another conversation that forces me to think… I sigh.

"I know," I admit. Which doesn't change the fact that I did. And that's what bothers me.

"I don't think he would have killed you," the mage adds.

"Oh? And why not? He didn't seem to give a second thought to killing you," I reply, unable to hide the animosity in my voice as I mention Seishiro. If we ever meet again, I won't just burn him alive; I'll serve him up for dinner with onions and peas.

"But he didn't kill Sakura-chan or Mokona, did he?" the wizard notices, and I perk. It's true that both are still sleeping soundly in their eggs, though Seishiro would have had largely the time to kill them both. Why would he do that, I wonder. If he killed me and Fai, why not bother with them?

"Though the fire was pretty," Fai continues, ignoring my thoughtful pause. I look up at him.

"Yeah, that makes me think" - again with the thinking - "how did you know about that before I told you?" I ask. He eyes me amusedly – which for some reason makes me feel self-conscious.

"Well, it was horribly hard to miss, the way you were shining," he says teasingly, and I feel myself blush.

"You _saw _that?" I exclaim, trying to hide the blood I can feel mounting in my cheeks. "I mean, I did… here too?" He winks at me.

"Oh yes. Very pretty flames, too. You burn beautifully, if I can say so."

"But I didn't… wouldn't… how could it… huh?" I mutter, caught between confusion and embarrassment. He saw me, with flames licking my limbs and climbing my body; could he see the rest too? Did he read my feelings as well, painted on my face for the world to see? No… he didn't…

"I was wondering why you were burning," Fai continues, leaning back against the railing of the small platform. "I never thought it would be… something like that." I know what he really means. He means, _I never thought it would be for me. _For a moment I want to hit him, contradict him to the better of my abilities, beat it into his head that I knew what I was doing; but I hesitate. Because I don't know what I was doing, and it's not my place to say these things, not to him. It was never my place, and it will never be.

"Customer ID number 43569 is dead. Commencing emergency exit from Outo Country."

"Hyuu! Seems like we're getting a visitor!" Fai exclaims, now looking at Syaoran's egg. I turn my head towards the row of glass compartments just in time to see the boy open his eyes suddenly, visibly gasping for air as I had done only minutes earlier. I almost sigh in relief when I see that he is unharmed, as though I was expecting to find a gaping wound in his chest where the oni pierced his flesh. Following Fai, I jump onto the thin bridge linking the eggs together and walk to Syaoran's waking form. The boy blinks at the bright lights in the room and looks around, but manages to miss us completely. I don't let Fai tap gently on the glass like he did with me; instead I kick the thing, making it shake and resonate like a gong. With a yelp Syaoran turns around to find us waving and smiling at him.

"Syaoran-kun!" Fai calls joyfully. First surprise, then relief and joy floods the boy's features as he recognizes us.

"Fai-san! Aisha-san!" I hear him exclaim through the glass. I go to press the same large button Fai has used to free me from my prison, but the mage's gloved hand catches mine before I reach it. I look up, startled by his intervention. His smile is incredibly soft.

"Before we let him hear us," he says, gently guiding my hand away, "I heard you when you called my name, back there. Just my name," he adds, sensing my will to ask. His eyes seem to darken and behind them I can see something foreign, something I have never seen in someone's eyes before. "I liked it. You could say it more often." Time seems to freeze for a moment, as I try to untangle the various questions running through my head, and then he slowly guides my hand to press the button, letting Syaoran free.

XxX

We enter the dark room together. The contrast between the vibrant and colourful park and the dark office covered in video monitors is stifling. Syaoran has finally understood the basics of the dream capsules, not thanks to me; Fai did all the explaining. I stayed locked in my silence, trying not to think about the issues I feel rising in my mind. If I don't think about it, there's no problem. If I don't realize it, then I don't have to worry about it. The only communication I've had with Syaoran since his arrival was to give him a slap upside the head; that was for going after Seishiro. He hasn't said anything about that, but I can see it in his eyes. And that's just making it harder for me not to acknowledge the problem.

After explaining what virtual reality is, the boys have started a conversation about onis and water and towers and flames, in which the only thing I grasp is that, within the virtual world, people cannot suffer from burns but onis can. Now see, that would have been useful to know _before_ I tried to kill Seishiro. Just saying.

"But why can't we remember anything from when we first came here?" Syaoran asks just as I notice Chitose's silhouette hiding in the shadows of her office.

"This is for the tourists who first play in the Dream Capsules to enjoy themselves fully," she answers, though we still can't see her face. "We hope the customers will think of the virtual country as real, therefore we make certain adjustments according to each user's data." Syaoran winces then, and I can tell he's having the strange flash-back we've had after waking up here. It only takes a few seconds, and his eyes flutter as he straitens and looks around, puzzled.

"Do you remember now?" Chitose asks.

"Well, we really did think that Outo Country was real," Fai steps in. Syaoran looks down to his sword, which he still carries from the dream world; which is odd, now that I think about it. Shouldn't it have stayed behind in Outo?

"My name is Chitose," the woman introduces herself as she steps into the light.

"She's the creator of this amusement park," Fai adds.

"I would like to know about the man who interferes with the Dream Capsule system," she continues. "You know that man, don't you?" There's a pause. "Please tell me anything you know about this man," Chitose continues. Syaoran frowns.

"Why do you want me to?" he replies, visibly on guard about his past. Chitose looks at him worriedly.

"If things continue this way," she says, "the game will not end like a game usually does." I perk up at that information. That can mean about a thousand things, and none of them sound good to me.

"What do you mean?" Syaoran asks. Chitose looks down.

"The game isn't safe," she admits. "For example, when you receive an injury inside the virtual reality, you do not get an injury in real life. It's like waking from a dream." I distractedly pat my finger, the one that had been opened with a deep gash only this morning. Nothing is left of the injury. Just like waking up from a dream, like she said. Chitose continues, "But the interferer appeared. He is controlling Fairy Park and the oni by interfering with the game system. If this goes on, the dream…" There's a violent crash somewhere outside the room, and the ground shakes. As one being, we all turn to a monitor behind Syaoran which normally shows the park in all its splendour. But now all I can see is fire, people screaming while black shapes cover the sky and destroy everything in their path. I gasp when I recognize them; onis, every single one of them, walking the real world as if it was their domain. All around the park, people seem to sprout out of nowhere and look around them with dazed expressions. The loud crash we heard was the Ferris wheel partly giving out.

"It could become a reality," Chitose finishes, staring at the monitor like it's all a bad dream. The room shakes again and the ceiling begins to crumble, but my eyes stay glued to the screen. The same sentence runs in my head over and over; '_she has sadly added to the stress of the system…' _This is my fault. If I hadn't been there, if I hadn't used my magic to modify the system, this might not have happened. Not so fast, not now.

"The power to bring the illusions from the Dream Capsules into reality… no technology like that exists in Edonis Country!" Chitose exclaims, visibly trying to work up a solution in her mind. "What power is the interferer using?"

"Magic," I whisper. "But not like me, it's different." Too powerful, much too powerful to be remotely compared to what I can do. Chitose looks around on the monitors, frantic.

"If we don't find a way to stop it soon it won't be just Fairy Park… the whole country of Edonis will be destroyed!" There's another rumble that shakes the room, and I find that I am frantically scanning all the monitors to find a familiar face. They have to be there somewhere… Beside me, Syaoran starts dashing out of the room.

"Syaoran-kun!" Fai calls.

"I have to find Sakura-hime and the others!" he replies, just as I find them.

"Here," I breathe, pointing to a monitor where I can clearly see Sakura, held by Kusanagi and surrounded by Souma, Yuzuhira and Ryu-oh. I can see something like a white bun as well, bouncing around. Syaoran runs back to see, as Fai comes up behind us.

"…and Kurogane-san?" the boy asks. I scan the screen. I can't see him.

"There's Kuro-puppy," I hear Fai say, and quickly turn my head to where he's pointing. Sure enough, there's a lone silhouette standing on the remains of the Ferris wheel who still turns eerily in the fiery wonderland. An oni stands still in front of it, a long serpent-like black dragon on which stands another figure. They look like they're waiting. My eyes widen as I realize what's happening. They're waiting for Kurogane.

"Shit no," I mutter, turning swiftly on my heels and running out of the room.

"Kurogane-san! Seishiro-san!" I hear Syaoran exclaim as he realizes what I have just seen. I open the doors and burst in the park, surrounded by a screaming crowd and clouds of smoke. The smell of burning metal attacks my nostrils. I quickly dash in the general direction of where Kusanagi and the others should be, keeping an eye on the two figures standing up high. I dodge the crowd running in all directions like scared cattle, and push my way to my destination. I lift up my head again, just in time to see Kurogane jump and unsheathe his sword. Seishiro dodges it, and even from down here I can see he did it without breaking a sweat.

"No! Don't!" I yell to the ninja's intention, but my voice is lost in the screams of the crowd. I almost bump into Souma, as I forgot to look where I was running. She turns to me, startled, before letting her features relax.

"Hello," she says.

"Ryu-oh!" I hear Syaoran call behind me. Everyone has noticed us now.

"Little doggie!" Ryu-oh exclaims gratefully, grabbing Syaoran in a tight hug.

"Syaoran!" Mokona echoes, jumping on him.

"Thank goodness!" Ryu-oh continues, finally letting go of Syaoran. "When we got separated, I thought we would never see each other again!"

"Because that world wasn't real, you mean?" Syaoran asks.

"Didn't you know?" Yuzuhira chips in, curious. Fai comes up behind her, while Chitose stays a safe distance back.

"Well, we're travelling," the mage admits as though it explains everything – and Mokona glomps him as well.

"The princess is…" Syaoran starts, looking worriedly at Sakura.

"She's just asleep," Souma reassures him. Kusanagi nods in agreement.

"Things don't look too peaceful up there though," he adds, looking up to the fight my eyes have never really left. So far neither opponent seems to be winning, but I don't know how long this will last. Syaoran looks up as well.

"Seishiro-san…" he mutters worriedly.

"What's the matter?" Fai asks curiously as Mokona moves in on me and clings to my neck.

"He's serious about this!" Syaoran says, looking nervously at the ongoing battle. I bite my lip. Seishiro has made a sword appear out of his hand and is now proceeding to fence his way around Kurogane. I can't repress a yelp as the sword bends suddenly, evading the ninja's blade before regaining its stability when Seishiro strikes again. Unable to take it any longer, I start to run for the Ferris wheel.

"What…? Aisha-san, where are you going?" Syaoran calls.

"He'll get himself killed like that!" I call back, still running.

"Aisha-san…!" I feel a hand on my arm and turn, yanking it away.

"No! This is partly my fault and I am not seeing anyone else die today!" I yell at Syaoran. He stares back at me determinedly.

"And neither am I," he says. Under his gaze I feel myself take a step back and a small whimper escapes my throat. What am I doing? Syaoran went after Seishiro, he defied him, he ended up dying, all because of… no. No. I close my eyes and shake my head childishly, as though hoping it will take the thoughts away. No. Kurogane and Seishiro have now moved to a rooftop and neither are moving for the moment. The calm before the storm. I bite my lip and whimper again. I had been so intent on the outcome of the fight that I had forgotten to think about the reason there was a fight in the first place. And now, I don't think I want to know the answer. I close my eyes again.

Me and Fai.

Syaoran fought for me and Fai, Kurogane is fighting now for us, just as I fought for Fai and Sakura. Risking their lives. For…

"Aisha," I hear Mokona's small voice and remember that he is still clinging to my neck. "Please don't hurt yourself again, okay?" I slowly tear the fur-ball away from me and hand him to Syaoran, avoiding to look at either of them.

"Sure," I say, trying to think of another reason this could be happening. Kurogane is not fighting up there for me, because he thinks I'm dead. Syaoran takes Mokona from me and eyes me worriedly, but I refuse to meet his eye. Instead, I look up to the fighters above us; a big mistake. My eye catches only the gleam of two sword about to hit each other in a deadly arc before I nearly scream. I slap my hand on my mouth, but it's too late; everyone heard me. It only lasts a moment however, because a large arrow chooses that instant to shoot from Mokona's mouth and smash the ground between both opponents, who stop their blows inches from each other to recoil from the point of impact. I stop myself from breathing a sigh of relief.

"WHAT THE HELL?" I can hear Kurogane yell.

"Waah!" Fai exclaims, as we all stay dumbfounded. "That thing came right out of Mokona's mouth!" The ninja turns towards us, clearly searching for the provenance of the arrow - and sees us. I can't see his expression, but I find myself both hoping and dreading it's relief.

"You guys!" he exclaims, to which Fai answers with an enthusiastic wave.

"Yoohoo! Kuro-sama!" he says. I wave a bit myself, but stop. I don't want this to be happening, I remind myself. But why does my heart keep disagreeing? Suddenly I feel a shift in the atmosphere; magic, lots of it. Slowly, I see Seishiro bring a hand to his chest and pull something out. At first it appears to be only a pulsing orb of light, until I recognize the energy emanating from it. I am surprised that I had not recognized it earlier. Because sitting in Seishiro's hand is one of Sakura's feathers.

"Sakura-hime's feather!" Syaoran exclaims beside me. "But why would Seishro-san have…" The tear of bricks and earth interrupts him, as the piece of roof Seishiro is standing on rips itself from the ground and starts floating, leaving Kurogane on the remains of the building.

"That's it!" Chitose exclaims as she runs in front of us, holding a small, beeping machine, "That thing he's holding is emitting an incredible amount of energy!" All around us I can make out small indistinct pockets where the world seems to disappear to make place for other images: I'm almost sure I can make out the front of City Hall, and a few buildings I've seen before in Outo. "That thing is turning the world of Outo into reality!" Chitose cries in alarm. An unnatural wind has picked up and I wince as debris hit my face; it only takes Syaoran that small moment of inattention from my part to leap into the air and begin climbing to reach a slowly collapsing platform.

"Syaoran!" Mokona cries as Ryu-oh runs to join us.

"What is he doing?" he asks me and I shrug.

"He's doing what he won't let me do," I mutter, but make no effort to follow him. Why do I want to so much?

Ryu-oh turns to me. "Exactly what is that guy? You guys know him?" I don't have time to answer.

"Seishiro-san!" Syaoran yells over the whistling wind. "That feather…!" Seishiro ignores him; he is too busy watching the apparition of another oni in front of him. The thing is huge. Black and monstrous, it looms over us all like a cloud of doom, and I can't help but gulp. Okay, so maybe that one will need more than a bullet in the chest to disappear.

"The 'A-1' demon has finally shown itself," I hear Seishiro say satisfactorily. I whistle appreciatively. Yup, that looks like an 'A' level 1. But that's the moment a woman chooses to peek her head out of one of the monster's outstretched claws.

"You found me!" she says, winking. Beside me, Fai sucks in a breath of amazement.

"That's Oruha-san from Clover!" he exclaims, and I frown.

"You mean the singer?"

"Yes," he answers. She's wearing an elegant black dress, and her curly dark hair flies in the wind that has picked up speed in the few seconds she has been here.

"What's that woman doing with the onis?" Kurogane says. She smiles.

"I never thought I'd be doing an appearance like this either," she informs us, then turns to Seishiro. "But I guess it can't be helped. When these seemingly powerful oni hunters came to collect information, they talked about you. That's how I realized." Fai looks thoughtfully up at her.

"That means all the information you gave us…"

"A lie, huh? » Kurogane finishes. She looks down at us.

"Not all of it," she admits. "The part about meeting a beautiful man who controlled the oni was true. The only difference was that the man wasn't an oni." She pauses and smiles. "In order to make the game interesting, giving out false information is one of the most important ingredients. To be able to say something like that means you're a living person, a 'player'."

"Player?" Syaoran asks.

"In Fairy Park, the virtual reality simulation system's main purpose is to allow a living person to role-play in the form of a player. In the early versions of the game, there were only non-playable characters."

"Then, those oni didn't have a presence because…" Syaoran starts to realize.

"They're fixed characters, chosen according to information," Oruha confirms. "Therefore, they don't have a presence."

"But you have a presence," Syaoran notices.

"Although I'm role-playing as an oni, in Edonis I am a player that exists in real life," she answers. "I sing at Clover, while collecting data on those who defeat onis from the lowest levels onward. And then, when the last oni is defeated, the game ends. But, no matter how calculate, predictions aren't always fixed, Chitose," she adds, looking directly at the woman in the white dress.

"So!" Oruha continues, turning back to Seishiro, "why does 'Mr. Interferer' want to find me?" He hesitates for a second, then plunges.

"Whether it's in this city or in the virtual reality, you can change your appearance," he begins.

"That's right," she confirms.

"Does your real appearance look similar to how you look now?"

"No."

"Have you heard about the idea of granting eternal life?"

"I have."

"Well then, I suppose there's no need to beat around the bushes," he concludes, smiling. "Is your real name… Subaru?" Oruha looks down for a second, seeming thoughtful, and then closes her eyes.

"No, you're wrong," she answers. Seishiro doesn't seem discouraged.

"Do you know anything about the vampire twins?" he asks.

"No, I don't," Oruha responds. "I'm the one who created the Fairy Park system. Granting eternal life means that the one who can defeat me, the most powerful oni, will be granted invincibility in Outo. It means the winner is granted, by the creator of the game, power of being impossible to kill in all circumstances. It doesn't have anything to do with the vampire legend." I suddenly notice that several buildings from Outo have managed to materialize completely in this world, and that onis are now travelling about with no apparent goal. Seishiro smiles gratefully.

"I got it wrong again," he admits. I frown. He killed three people, was ready to kill a fourth, and he _got it wrong?_ Wait until I get my hands on him.

"I apologize for not being able to help you more than that," Oruha says. "But this situation is quite inconvenient." Seishiro looks down at the feather and sighs.

"This thing causes the game to become a reality. Although I am unable to control it, if it disappears its influence should disappear as well. And," he continues, "if those two aren't here there's no point in staying either."

"Please wait!" Syaoran yells from his platform – which has, against all odds, survived. Seishiro turns to him with his eternal smile. "That feather… I'm on a journey to find those feathers!" Syaoran says.

"This doesn't belong to you, Syaoran," Seishiro points out, scolding.

"This is something very important to the person most important to me!" Syaoran replies determinedly.

"But I can't return this. I'm sorry," Seishiro says, then adds, "Do you wish to fight me?" Syaoran pauses.

"You were the one that taught me how to fight," he says. "I've fought you in Outo, so I know that right now I cannot defeat you. But," he continues strongly, "I've made up my mind to get that feather, no matter what!" Grabbing his sword with both hands, he unties the knot previously holding blade and sheathe together and releases his sword in one swift movement. "I don't know how to use this sword well," he admits, looking at Seishiro. "I haven't mastered sword-fighting techniques. But, if I don't pull it out right now, I'll lose that small chance at victory. That's why, even if it's a slim chance I'll gamble my life on it!" And he leaps into the air. Before anyone can react, his sword is sprouting red flames as it descends on Seishiro, engulfing them both in fire and smoke. There's a moment of anxiety, before the flames thin and we can make out Syaoran, standing on a building opposite Seishiro, his sword still flaming.

"He was defeated?" Ryu-oh asks enthusiastically.

"No…" Fai answers, staring intently at both opponents, "he got away." There's a low rumble in the earth as Seishiro speaks.

"A sword of flames, huh? It suits you, Syaoran," he says, smiling almost tenderly at the one who used to be his pupil. "Without a doubt, you'll become stronger. And later, you'll encounter many things and become very, very strong. Even though right now things do not happen as you wish, the strength you have will support and guide you." The rumble intensifies, and I can sense the magic operating. Then it snaps back suddenly and I can't sense a thing, but I can see the circle erupting under Seishiro's feet, and I can guess what's going to happen.

"Hey no! Wait right there!" I exclaim. He can't be leaving with Sakura's feather; we have to stop him. But Seishiro pays me no mind and looks to Syaoran.

"If you are searching for this," he says, holding up the feather, "we should be able to meet again. That is why…" slowly his body begins to disappear in thin volutes, "Until then, Syaoran," he concludes with a smile.

"Seishiro-san!" Syaoran cries before the man disappears completely, but it's too late. When he reaches the spot where Seishiro stood only a second earlier, all that is left is smoke. I curse loudly, then mentally slap myself for caring so much. I shouldn't care. From Fai's shoulder, Mokona slowly starts floating.

"Mokona?" Fai asks, but gets no answer. When the wings appear, I know what is happening.

"What the…?" Ryu-oh exclaims, then turns to me.

"Already?" I mutter in surprise. Shouldn't we have a little transition time between worlds?

"What's happening?" Yuzuhira asks.

"Mokona is being pulled by Seishiro-san's magical item," Fai says, observing the phenomenon.

"We're leaving," I translate to the bewildered pair of oni hunters.

"Is it because the power came from the witch… then the power source is the same?" Fai mutters to himself, then turns to me as though for confirmation. I lift up my hands innocently.

"Comes and goes," I mutter. I can't sense a thing right now; it's very frustrating. I'm surprised at how much I've come to expect the ability to sense magic to appear when I want it since the beginning of this journey, how I've come to depend on it. That's not good.

"Thank you so much for taking care of Sakura-chan," Fai tells Kusanagi as he takes Sakura from him and wraps her in his coat. "Kuro-rin! Syaoran-kun!" he calls. "It's time to say goodbye to this world." The magic circle appears under Mokona, and I brace myself for the whirlwind.

"Wait a minute!" Ryu-oh exclaims.

"What do you mean, goodbye?" Yuzuhira continues. Around us, Outo is slowly receeding to let Edonis take its place. There's a small noise of computer static, and the clothing of the oni hunters begin to change; it starts to resemble the clean-cut suits of the Edonis people. Even Kurogane is slowly gaining his cloak back.

"Sorry about our rematch," I tell Ryu-oh. "I guess we'll catch up another time. And I will destroy you." I smile weakly, but my heart is slowly sinking as I can see more and more of the destruction I partly caused. Ryu-oh looks at me with a lost expression, and I can see that my body is disappearing in smoke-like streams.

The last thing I see is Yuzuhira clinging to Fai and Sakura and pleading them not to leave before my body becomes too immaterial to sense anything. And only then do I let myself go, sobbing tearlessly in the darkness as I try to bring some order to my muddled thoughts. One thing is clear: I'm getting close to them. Too close. I remember the raw fury that possessed me when I thought Fai was dead, my swiftness in protecting Sakura, my worry for Syaoran and Kurogane when they were fighting Seishiro; and I try to convince myself that Syaoran has not gone after Seishiro for me but only for Fai, that Kurogane was not remotely thinking about my supposed death when he decided to kill him. If they get attached to me it's just as bad, because as much as I don't want to care, I don't want it to hurt them when I leave.

I feel myself materializing again. No, there's no way they would feel any pain if I went back home and left them, not me; and somehow that realization only tugs harder at my heart. I reach back and find a hard surface, a tree, and let myself fall against it, my eyes closed and my head buried between my knees. I don't want to look at them now, I don't want to look at them ever again. I don't want to get attached to them. I think about my friends and family back home, and muffle a sob. I think of how they will never remember me, how I will only be able to observe them from a distance. No, I don't want to get attached to my companions here; I don't want to have to chose between them and home.

Because I'm afraid of what my choice will be.


	24. The Eye of the Storm

"Are you alright?" Syaoran's voice startles me.

"I'm just freakin' tired," I grunt. I don't know how long I've been sitting here, but it's probably not been too long; I haven't been hearing voices for very long either.

"Would you like to rest for a while?" Syaoran asks, seeming a bit worried.

"Yup," I answer hoarsely, still enclosed in my world of darkness. I haven't opened my eyes since we've arrived, so I have no idea what kind of world we've ended up in. Though by the sound of leafs ruffling in the wind and the smell of musk and earth, we're probably in a forest of some sort.

"Okay," I hear Fai's voice close by, "Kuro-puu and I are going to scout around!" Kurogane grunts something unintelligible before Mokona exclaims something about temper and I hear a wild chase begin around me. With a defeated sigh, I hoist myself up to my feet, and open my eyes, carefully wiping away all the water still in them with my arm. I guess I can't stay curled up on myself forever.

"On second thought, I'll go scout too," I announce, looking around me for the first time. As I had predicted we are in a forest, though the term jungle would probably be more accurate; large trees with strange leafs and roots that come out of the ground surround us, as well as huge fern that could probably come as tall as Kurogane. Sakura is lying on the ground a few feet from me, tightly entangled in Syaoran's large cloak. Syaoran is the first to protest my decision.

"If you don't feel well, Aisha-san, then you shouldn't…" he starts, but I cut him off.

"I never said I didn't feel well, I said I was tired," I reply a little too harshly. "Besides, fresh air never hurt anybody."

"Awww, let her be, Syaoran-kun," Fai adds with a wink to the boy. "She'll be with us, nothing will happen." I look sideways at the mage and sigh; I have to make another decision, and nobody will like it.

"Actually, I thought you guys could go on one side and I could check out the other," I say matter-of-factly, as though I had absolutely no ulterior motives. I brace myself for a surge of protest; it comes soon enough.

"Now, that won't be safe at all…"

"You shouldn't do that, Aisha-san, I'll come with you…"

"Don't you think we better let Kuro-tan go on his own? I'm sure he won't mind…"

"Mokona can at least come with Aisha, right?"

"It's a new world, who knows what's out there?"

"You know, I'm pretty sick and tired of telling you that I can take care of myself," I reply to both the mage and the boy, crossing my arms in front of my chest. "If Mokona comes with me, then nobody else will be able to communicate if we go too far. And beside, if everyone goes scouting who'll stay with Sakura?" And that just caught Syaoran on a sensitive nerve. He won't be protesting much. I then turn to Fai and lift an eyebrow, daring him to contradict me again. The mage seems surprised by my sudden change of attitude, but that doesn't stop him from trying.

"It really might not be safe out there, Strawberry-chan. I seriously vote that if someone goes alone, it's me or Kuro-chii," he says with a small laugh. I cock my hip to the side.

"And I seriously vote that someone stops seeing me as a child and lets me do something on my own without whining," I reply harshly. The group stays silent for a second. Then Kurogane walks up to me. I sustain his crimson gaze for a second, and then he shrugs with a grunt and walks off in the opposite direction.

"She wants to go, let her go," he growls. "She says she can take care of herself, then she can. Come on, mage." I shoot Fai a victorious glance as he turns around, seemingly against his will, to follow the ninja. He turns around one last time to look at me before disappearing in the sea of trees.

"What if something goes wrong?" he asks - a little worriedly, I find.

"If you run into something, scream," Kurogane instructs me before vanishing in the shadows. I nod.

"Can do," I say, and then turn in the opposite direction and walk under the cover of the trees. I visibly tap the whip slung in my belt to somewhat reassure Syaoran before disappearing from his view. Just making sure he knows I'm not helpless. I walk a few minutes without any incident; all I see is trees and ferns and roots, and then more trees and ferns and roots. No signs of any inhabitants, wood fires or towns that I can see. It's only once I duck under a fern that towers about a foot above me that I begin to warm up to the beauty of the forest; the luscious greens and browns, the stream I can hear guzzling nearby, the small animals that run off as soon as they hear me coming so that I don't know exactly what they are, the earth that gives out slightly at each of my steps. I like the scent of musk and dirt mounting to my nostrils, foreign and yet reassuring. It reminds me of something strong, omnipresent, safe, like a too-big overcoat that keeps you warm in chilly weather. Like Kento, when he would come and get me on his bike at eleven o'clock exactly, always on time, never late. We would start a run around town, rushing past the throngs of people that constituted Hanshin's busy nightlife; it was exhilarating, flying by those people, knowing they could never catch you if they tried and that you were invincible to them. I loved it. And then we would stop, always at the same building, five houses down and across the street from my home; I would climb up first, laughing at his clumsiness as he struggled to catch up with me on the emergency staircase. Most often I would skip the stairs and climb the metal rods criss-crossing everywhere in an attempt to make the stairs appear more solid than they actually were. It made Kento practically white with worry to see me perched on these rusty bars that threatened to give at any second, making me plummet to the ground, six stories below. And yet every time I made it safely to the roof, and every time I had to wait for him to catch up to me. And there we sat and talked, watching the city below us. I always marvelled at how small everything seemed from our bird's perch, and how strange it was to imagine we came from that miniature world. We would fall asleep like that, huddled against one another on the windy rooftop, a tradition we started when I was fifteen. Every morning I would wake up at sunrise, and I always enjoyed a few minutes alone to press myself to Kento's chest before he woke. Nothing romantic has ever linked us, and to him this was not strange at all; I was only is little sister, the girl who lived next door. To me it was sweet torture, to be so close to him and knowing he wasn't mine, that he would most likely never be mine. He smelled of sweat and salt, thanks to his water-based kudan. I don't know why all this is coming back to me now, in the heart of a jungle, so far from anything that resembles a building, a bike… or Kento. I accidentally trip on a root and sprawl on the ground, but make no effort to get up. I don't want to cry; I just don't understand how life can be so cruel. I'm stuck in an impossible relationship with a guy who, if he has ever loved me, will never love me again; and to top it off, we are separated by so much time-space that it might take me years to get a glimpse of him. Knowing that sends a painful wave through my heart, which only aggravates my current state. Even the sweet scent mounting from my cushion of leaves doesn't bring any relief. I bite my thumb, hard.

Oh, Kento… why do I have to love you so much?

XxX

I can't see anything special about this forest. Other than overgrown plants and bad memories, I find nothing. However, the nuts seem to be edible – and quite tasty. I have a feeling Kurogane will kill me for eating unknown food in a place like this. Without a sound I make my way back to our unofficial camp. I've noticed that the more I walk, the less sound my footsteps make and the easier I find it to avoid the vines and roots that make me trip; this small journey seems to have awakened the forest dweller in me. When I am but a few feet from the clearing I notice a rhythmic breaking, like vines being ripped apart. As I come up after ducking under a fern, I see why; Sakura is trapped in what seems to be a net, suspended above the ground by a tree branch. The breaking sound I heard was her ripping apart the vines to escape.

"Sakura! Calm down girl, I got you," I exclaim, running to her and breaking the vines vigorously. The poor girl is struggling so much I can barely get hold of a rope before it slips from my fingers. "Hey, watch it!" I protest after she accidentally kicks me.

"Sakura-chan!" Fai' voice calls behind me. Just then I am able to rip apart the large vine that seemed to keep the whole thing together, and Sakura falls to the ground in a tangle of ropes. I kneel down and help her untangle herself as Fai leans down beside me and does the same. Kurogane is busy examining the trap.

"What happened?" Fai asks worriedly. Sakura turns her frantic gaze to us.

"Syaoran-kun was kidnapped!" she yells, panicked. I look around, but can't find any signs of a fight, except… yes, the remains of nuts laying around could have been used as weapons…

"Where did they take him?" I ask, helping her up. She points in a direction, and sure enough, the leafs have been flattened as though something was dragged there. I frown. They can't have taken him very far if they needed to drag him. "Can you run?" I turn to the princess, who nods. I grab her wrist and turn to the others. "Let's go then," I announce, breaking off to a run in the path Sakura has shown us, dragging her behind me. The shuffle of feet following me indicates that the others are following as well. In a breathless tone, Sakura explains the circumstances of the attack; there was nuts flying everywhere, and while avoiding them she backed up into the trap. As Syaoran turned to help her, a nut hit him in the back of the head and he fell unconscious. That's when the people of the forest came and took him away…

"So Syaoran was caught by little people with ears and tails?" Fai asks as we dash over a tree trunk. I see the princess nod from the corner of my eye as I still lead the way.

"They took him this way!" she repeats, pointing in the direction we are heading. A fair distance behind me, I hear Kurogane grumble.

"Well, I wonder how his training is going… since he'll pass out if a nut hits him in the back of the head," he growls sarcastically.

"That ivy I was trapped in, it seems to have saved me!" Sakura concludes her story breathlessly, oblivious to Kurogane's comment. Ignoring the princess, the ninja keeps on ranting.

"There wasn't that type of situation in Outo country… but still, the kid can't handle a sword," he grumbles.

"What a strict teacher!" Fai says, laughing. Mokona is the first to spot the thick tower of grey smoke rising from a clearing to our right.

"Look!" he cries. "Over there!"

"Syaoran-kun!" Sakura yells, pulling me towards the smoke. I manage to jump in front of her as we burst into the clearing, unsure of what awaits us there. Kurogane has found a sudden burst of speed and has done the same, partly shielding us with his tall frame and seeming ready to unsheathe his sword.

Syaoran seems happy to see us, at least. I nearly trip and fall over in surprise, and catch the princess who has done the same. Suddenly worried, Syaoran jumps to his feet and walks towards us, almost spilling the content of his bowl.

"Are you alright?" he asks, offering an arm to his princess. I shake my head in disbelief. "I hope we're not interrupting your little party," I grumble, kicking the dust and shooting him a sideways glare. He smiles.

"Nice to see you too," he says, and I grunt. The boy seems to be enjoying a nice little picnic with the natives around a toasty fire. Really, and he had us worried…

"But Syaoran-kun!" Sakura protests, passing an arm around him and feeling the back of his head, "you've got a bruise!" The boy backs up with a smile.

"I'm fine," he assures us. "Besides, we've got quite a situation here." He looks over his shoulder to the natives – who make me think of oversized bunnies. All their eyes are locked on us now, observing us like we're creatures from another planet.

"Situation?" Fai asks, looking down at the strange inhabitants of the forest. Kurogane glares at them.

"What the hell are you?" he growls. The reaction is almost instantaneous; all the rabbit-like beings shriek in terror and line up behind Syaoran, as if the boy could offer them protection from the ninja's fury.

"They look like bunnies, don't they?" I chip in. The ninja eyes me suspiciously.

"Bunnies?" he asks.

"Rabbits," I say. He nods, seeming to have understood, then turns back to the natives with a shady glare. Seeming amused, Fai leans down towards the terrified creatures.

"This guy," he explains, pointing at Kurogane, "He may look scary, but for the time being, he doesn't bite." Now it's Fai's turn to get glared at. Sheesh, the ninja's in a bad mood today. I wonder if it's because he didn't get to finish off that fight with Seishiro…

"What's 'for the time being's supposed to mean?" he grunts.

"That it's okay to look scary!" Fai answers joyfully. I roll my eyes with a grunt.

"Can we just get to the point here?" I ask, frustrated. Everyone stares at me with huge eyes, but I pay them no mind. So many things have happened in the last few hours that I wish I could just sleep and forget about it all, but I can't. Moreover, Outo's and Edonis's late afternoon has turned into what looks like mid-morning in this world. Which means, I'll have to wait even longer for night to come.

"Uh… sure," Syaoran says, taken aback. He turns to the fire. "If you would like to sit down, we could tell you everything…" Staying weary of Kurogane, the furry natives quickly surround us and we are invited to sit around the fire. I nest myself on the ground, as far away as courtesy permits it from the burning fire. As several large leafs containing food are set up around us, I permit myself to take a few bites from a round, blood-coloured fruit. Only Kurogane has kept his dark cloak – even Fai has stripped from his heavy fur coats. The heat is making me sweat, especially after our run through the bushes. I fan myself with my hand with a sigh.

"How the hell can you guys survive this heat with all that fur of yours?" I ask one of the natives. Seeing me address him directly, he yelps in terror and runs to hide. I sigh, discouraged. Turning to the others, I notice Fai's thoughtful gaze locked on me. When he sees me scowl in his direction, he quickly averts his eyes with an embarrassed smile. Syaoran clears his throat and begins his explanation.

"I hear there's demons," he begins. "They come out of the forest, but they are inside the sea of trees. They appeared and suddenly destroyed people's homes." Hum. Sounds familiar to anyone?

"We tried to fight them, but it was no use," one of the natives deplores. "Those terrible things told us to give them sacrifices. And if we give them tasty sacrifices, they'd stop their rampage." Fai seems to find this hilarious.

"So, you guys were about to sacrifice tasty Syaoran-kun!" he exclaims.

"Even though I look tasty, too!" Mokona adds modestly. Kurogane and Sakura turn to Syaoran.

"So if you were cooked, something would come out and eat you?" the ninja asks. Syaoran shrugs.

"But I've heard the story of these demons," he says determinedly. "And it seems they really did suddenly appear."

"Seems like situations we've encountered so far with Sakura's feathers," Fai says thoughtfully. One of the native speaks.

"The terrible thing might be invisible, he said," it says, pointing at Syaoran. "So we guided him. He asked us for details, so we sat him down. If you sit together, you're comrades. If you're comrades, you eat together," he explains with what I assume is a naïve smile. It's hard to tell with them.

"Mokona, any sign of a feather?" Syaoran asks the fur-ball. Mokona nods.

"Yes," he says. "I feel it. It's close," he says. I nod. Here we go again. The faster, the better.

"So it's demon hunting, huh?" Kurogane says with a bloodthirsty smile. I can't swear it, but I think there was a strange crimson flash in his eyes; the colour of blood.

"Kuro-sama looks happy!" Fai exclaims teasingly. The ninja grunts, all smile gone now.

"I'm going too!" The voice startles me, as I wasn't expecting to hear it here. Sakura is looking determinedly at us, defying us to protest. I frown.

"Hime…" Syaoran says worriedly. She looks at him.

"I don't want to become a burden, so I'll do my best," she argues.

"Hime…" he repeats, but his expression is now gentle. I sigh. This is really not my decision…

"Okay, how about you show us where that sea of trees is?" I offer.

XxX

"Not everyone can go!" one native exclaims.

"No way!" another adds.

"If you don't return, we won't have a sacrifice. Leave one behind," they order. I roll my eyes frustratingly. I don't like being told what to do in the best of times, so now…

"They've got a tight hold on things," Fai comments with a laugh as Kurogane seems to be fighting an urge to massacre the little things. Syaoran looks worried.

"But who would…" he starts. Fai interrupts him.

"Leaving Mokona behind would be a problem," he says. "We might go to a point where we can't understand each other. And Kuro-pii looks like he's all ready to go." I know where this is going. Syaoran is definitely not being left out of this, neither are Mokona and Kurogane. Now that Sakura expressed her will to help, no one will force her to stay – and besides, there's no way Syaoran would leave her to become a sacrifice if things go wrong. That leaves me, basically. I'm a girl, so not useful enough to go fight a demon; yet, I can defend myself well enough to assure I won't become monster chow if the others take too long. Logical. And typically male. I'm about to lift my hand and volunteer on my own, when Fai speaks again.

"And then Pinky would kill us if we left her here," he adds, then lifts up a hand and exclaims joyfully. "Guess I'm staying!" I want to protest, but stop myself. If he wants to stay, let him. It's not like I asked him to; he offered. And yet… I lift my eyes to meet his. If he becomes a sacrifice, I don't know if I could forgive myself. I shake my head. He won't be sacrificed, and since when do I care?

"But…!" Sakura exclaims as I had failed to do. Fai smiles reassuringly at her.

"Sakura-chan, go and come back," he says. "It might be dangerous, but you still want to go, right?"

"Yes," she agrees. Slowly, we tear ourselves away from the group of natives and from Fai, and turn to begin our trek through the forest.

"I'll cheer from here!" Fai calls, waving his arms. I sigh and look back. Something churns in my heart, a little voice that tells me that Fai could have easily said he wanted to go – in which case, I would be the one left behind. I look at his shrinking form.

"Fai-san…" I begin, hesitantly, letting the others go without me. I don't know what I want to do. Say thank you? Volunteer for his place?

"Now," the wizard replies, resting both hands on his hips, "what did I tell you to call me from now on?" Seeing his cocky smile, I shake my head and step back. No.

"Fai-san," I repeat childishly, refusing to obey him. It'll just ruin all my efforts to push him away, and God knows it'll be hard enough as it is. Fai's eyes narrow, and the smile resting on his lips falls slightly. It almost looks… sad.

"Good luck, then," he says, and I turn away to catch up to the others. I can't think of these things right now. The quicker we defeat the demon, the quicker we get the feather, the faster we get out of here and to the next world, the faster we eventually get to Hanshin, the less time I'll have to get attached to the group. That's all that matters.

"Let's get going," Kurogane says, eying the large tangle of roots and branches that await us. "To the sea of trees, where the demon lives." I caress the soft leather of my whip.

"Yes, let's go," I agree, and walk into the jungle first, jumping from root to root and trunk to branch. The others have trouble keeping pace with me, so I often have to stop and let them catch up. Syaoran wonders aloud where I could have learned to jump so quickly from surface to surface like a monkey, and I only shrug. Pipes and metal rods are so much more slippery and so much less solid than tree branches, I don't think there's anything to it, really. It only takes five minutes of this for Kurogane to get bored.

"Where is this demon?" he asks, exasperated, as he scans the horizon.

"Kurogan has a lot of energy!" Mokona croons. Syaoran points straight ahead.

"There's something like a cave in this forest," he says. "They said it was there."

"I wonder if it's something from this world?" Sakura asks.

"I don't know," Syaoran answers. "Maybe it's something from this world that suddenly got stronger, or maybe it came from another world."

"Like us?" the princess asks. Suddenly, a strange shiver makes its way up my spine. I look up in the direction we are going, and jump. A giant uprooted tree is flying towards us, breaking everything in its path. Without a second's thought I roll under a large root and press myself against the trunk of an adjacent tree as Syaoran pulls Sakura out of the way of the tree. Kurogane, on the other hand, jumps to meet the log and swiftly cuts through it with his sword as though it was only butter. One of the tree's halves lands dangerously close to me, but all I get is a scratch from one of its branches. I climb out of my shelter and quickly assess the situation; no one seems hurt.

"Did you see it?" Kurogane asks from his perch on a high root. I shake my head.

"No," Syaoran answers. "Nothing at all."

"Same," I say. I wonder what could have the strength to throw something so heavy in our direction. It must be pretty big. The wind has started to pick up violently, carrying debris, and I shield myself behind a large tree trunk. Syaoran and Sakura have done the same behind a root, and Kurogane is taking shelter behind another tree.

"It seems to have some sort of power," the ninja calls over the roar of the wind. "All we have are swords and a whip. We can only get closer." The wind calms down almost instantly. I emerge from behind my tree.

"We should go now, while it's calm," I say. Kurogane and Syaoran nod.

"Yes," the boy says. We start making our way towards the source of the wind. As we get further it gains in speed, and soon we find ourselves fighting against it to step forward. I now pull myself from root to branch in order to stand my ground; looking beside me, I see that Syaoran is doing the same. I don't dare jump anymore, afraid that, without any attach, my body will soon float away. The whistle of the wind is so loud that when Sakura shrieks, I almost miss it. I turn my head just in time to see her being swept back by the force of the whirlwind, her feet no longer touching the ground. Syaoran reaches for her and grabs her wrist, but not before letting go of the root he was holding. Now both are hurling back through the air, Syaoran trying his best to shield Sakura from the debris with his own body. Without thinking, I swiftly hook my legs around a root to free my hands. Unhooking the whip latched tightly to my belt, I snap it out towards Syaoran's outstretched hand.

"Catch!" I yell. The boy's hand grabs hold of the whip just before he flies out its reach. I grunt as the weight of both kids pulls me in one direction, while the strength of my legs force me to stay where I am. I twist my whip around my arm once, then twice, pulling them forward. Making sure Sakura is holding on to him tightly, Syaoran frees his other hand and begins pulling himself towards me. I yank one last time; my muscles protest violently as my body feels as though it's slowly ripping apart. Goddamit. The wind calms almost imperceptibly, and Syaoran takes advantage of that small moment to grab hold of a root and pull both himself and Sakura to the ground. I finally relax, expertly rolling my whip in a tight bundle, which I fumble to hook to my belt. I catch Syaoran's grateful gaze from the corner of my eye and offer a small smile in return. I hate having to act like this, but it's not like there's much of a choice. My head scolds me for helping them, but my heart answers that I couldn't very well let them hurl into infinity, now could I?

"Aisha and Syaoran did it!" Mokona squeals before being swept away himself. Without even turning his head towards the fur-ball, Kurogane extends his hand and catches him.

"Yay! Thank you!" Mokona croons, trying to kiss the ninja on the cheek. The big guy holds him away, seeming horribly irritated.

"Stop it, you white manjuu!" he yells angrily.

"Any sign of the feather?" Syaoran calls over the wind.

"Yes! I feel it!" the fur ball answers. Good. At least this means we're getting closer. A sudden gust of wind nearly manages to rip me from my perch and I yelp in surprise, hugging the root like I would a buoy.

"The wind got stronger again!" Syaoran announces.

"No shit!" I scream.

"Looks like we won't be able to get close to it!" the ninja adds.

"Perhaps it's a rare magic or technique after all!" Syaoran says.

"Dunno. Maybe that lanky guy could have felt something," Kurogane says, then eyes me. I frown, and try to send my concentration in front of us. But no, my sensibility to magic still hasn't come back. I shake my head for the others.

"I can't feel a thing," I confess. "But that doesn't mean there's nothing." We stay silent a few moments, when Syaoran sees something.

"What…? That's…!" he exclaims, staring to a spot before us. I find it too; not far from us, I can make out a small pocket where the wind doesn't seem to blow.

"Those trees aren't swaying!" Mokona notices. They seem eerie, untouched by the strength of the tempest swallowing us.

"Is that the only place where the wind isn't blowing?" Syaoran asks.

"A trap?" Kurogane advances.

"But the feather's power is getting stronger!" Mokona protests. I guess right now we have to trust the white fur-ball to tell us where the feather is; but still, it could very well be a trap. And even if it isn't, how are we going to get to those trees with the wind trying to blow us to pieces?

"We can't get further!" Mokona yelps.

"Wait!" Sakura exclaims, looking around. "The wind isn't always the same!"

"Huh?" Syaoran answers, surprised.

"It gets stronger and weaker!" she explains.

"So if we go when the wind is weaker," Syaoran starts to understand, "we may reach it!" Quickly untying the rope holding his sword to his belt, the boy waits for an opening in the seemingly constant flow of air. Because I am looking for it, this time I feel it; as though a knife had cut through the wind, interrupting it for a second. The wind that follows is slower, weaker. Syaoran feels it too and quickly throws his sword forward, letting it catch between two small trunks. Still holding the rope attached to the hilt of his sword with one hand and pressing Sakura to his body with the other, he proceeds to pull himself forward along the rope. I lift my eyebrows, impressed.

"That's not a bad idea," I mutter, unhooking my whip and shooting it forward to a branch. It gracefully wraps itself around the wood. I tug on it to test it; it holds. Imitating Syaoran I now pull myself forward against the wind, passing by Kurogane, who is wedging his sword between roots to hold his balance. He seems pretty angry as he watches Syaoran advance.

"Exactly how is he using that sword?" he grumbles as his own weapon clangs against the wood.

"Don't say that, Kurogane!" Mokona exclaims.

"Yeah, look at how you're using yours!" I add, passing him.

"Shut up," the ninja grumbles, burying his face in the collar of his cloak. I smile, and proceed to throw the whip again, advancing further. Taking advantage of the weaker wind, it only takes us a few minutes to reach the small pocket of calm air. I shoot out of the hurricane graciously, nearly falling over as my body fails to process the no-longer-there need to bend forward against the wind. The silence fills my ears like the loudest noise as I take in our new environment; several trees and ferns grow around us, oblivious to the whirlwind raging around them. But most importantly, just in front of us stands the cave Syaoran had been talking about. Its mouth opens on the side of a cliff, huge and gaping. I can't make out anything that could be hiding inside it, but it doesn't seem very deep and I doubt something as big as this supposed beast could escape our eyes for very long.

"So, where's this demon?" Kurogane says, looking around, as we carefully make our way to the dark cave.

"There's nothing here," Mokona says. One by one, we peer into the mouth of the cave. Nothing.

"Maybe the demon's gone out?" Sakura suggests hopefully. I shake my head. The cave doesn't look like it's seen any presence of life in days; the floor and walls are bare, and there are no traces going to or coming from its opening.

"If he's out, it's been a while," I say, puzzled. Where the hell could it be? Seeming prey to a sudden burst of inspiration, Syaoran gasps.

"Maybe the demon…" he starts, then stops, eyes locked on the cave.

"What?" Kurogane asks, turning to the boy. It takes him a few seconds to answer and when he does, even he doesn't seem to believe it.

"Maybe the monster isn't something living," he says slowly, looking up to the winds around our small oasis. "Like a tornado." My eyes widen and my jaw falls to the floor as I realize the truth of his deduction. The mysterious thing that appeared suddenly and destroyed people's homes, the demon that could neither be seen nor fought… was a tornado!

"That wind wasn't meant to keep us away," Syaoran explains, "it is something that occurs in nature. We're in the eye of the tornado now, so it's quiet."

"Huh?" Kurogane asks, more out of bewilderment than confusion. I suspect he's disappointed that he didn't get to fight the monster.

"So the tornado was those people's demons?" Sakura says, taking a step forward. Syaoran nods.

"But if that's the case," he adds, "then where's the feather?" Silence befalls on us for a moment, as all of us are trying to work out the pieces of the puzzle. I try to send my conscience around us again to sense some sort of magical presence, but fail. I kick the ground frustratingly, biting my lip. I hate having my senses atrophied. I frown, staring at my feet. Since when do I depend on magic so much?

"Wait a second," Kurogane interrupts my thoughts. "If the demon is a tornado, then what do we do about what it supposedly said?" The ninja turns to Syaoran. "The demon said 'Give me sacrifices', right?"

"Right," the boy answers. The ninja's gaze becomes more insistent.

"And tornadoes don't speak, _right_?"

"…right," Syaoran finally admits. He seems puzzled. "Moreover, it seems to have been in this area for several days. For a tornado to stay in the same place…"

"I can hear it…" Sakura interrupts him in a dazed tone, looking out to the tornado.

"Hime?" Syaoran says, turning to her.

"Sakura?" I ask, reaching for her.

"It's crying…" she continues, oblivious to us. Almost drunkenly, she takes a step towards the wall of wind, then another.

"What's crying? What…?" I turn to Syaoran, my eyes probing. The boy shakes his head.

"I don't know," he answers. "But I've seen the princess act this way before in Clow Country. The priest told me that the princess hears things that don't have voices." The princess has now reached the tornado, her clothes flying eerily around her.

"What's wrong? Are you lonely?" her voice reaches us. Slowly, she begins to float in the air, arms outstretched as though welcoming the wind.

"HIME!" Syaoran yells, dashing forward. I stop him.

"She won't get hurt," I reassure him. In fact, the wind seems to bend around the princess, carrying her without hitting her. And I sense that this is not a conversation that should be interrupted.

"You can't move from here?" Sakura's voice rises once again. "Wounded? No? You can't move because of a great power?" She stretches her arms in front of her, caressing the wind. Her face is gentle and kind. "Because you want to move somewhere else, you're looking for that great power… Don't be afraid. Could you slow down your wind a little?" Suddenly, as though hearing her request, the wind begins to calm. The princess slowly begins to sink back down to the ground. She brings a small cup of wind to her cheek.

"Thank you," she says with a smile, seemingly out of her trance-like state. I seem to be the only one to notice the shiver of pleasure running through the gust of wind in that instant; the others all seem focused on Sakura.

"Not only can that princess talk to the dead, she can speak to tornadoes. Huh." Kurogane grumbles, discouraged. I smile.

"I'm not the best one to relate," I notice. "After all, I talk to rivers." Seeming doubly discouraged, the ninja mumbles something unintelligible. I stop myself from laughing. No more laughing. This is the last time I'm teasing the ninja, I decide. No more slip-ups. Sakura is now descending towards us, and Syaoran reaches up to greet her. She smiles at us.

"Just as Syaoran thought," she says, "it seems the demon is the tornado. But it didn't mean to trouble them. It can't move because of some great power. So it's in trouble."

"Maybe that power is Sakura's feather!" Mokona chirps.

"Let's get it back," Syaoran decides determinedly. "We'll ask them thoroughly for information and collect as much information as we can. After that, we'll search."

"Okay," Sakura agrees. I nod.

"The sooner the better," I say, sighing. I want to move on as soon as possible from here. Behind us, Kurogane seems angry.

"So it wasn't a demon, huh," he grunts. Mokona smiles.

"Kurogane's just pouting because he didn't get to fight again," he teases, perched on the ninja's head. With a deafening roar, he pulls out his sword and proceeds in attempting to chop the poor fur-ball in half.

"Waaah! The demon's chasing me!" Mokona exclaims, bounding everywhere.

"JUST WHO'S THE DEMON?!!?" is the ninja's answer as he swings his sword. Once again, I bite my lip to keep from laughing. But no, I am not giving in. I sigh. If only I could be like the wind, I could fly away and escape this…

XxX

The tornado now reduced to a strong breeze, we make our way through the sea of trees back to the village. Sakura is leading the way with Mokona, Kurogane is closing the march; this leaves me and Syaoran walking side-by-side in the middle, talking. I distractedly extend my arm to the side, appreciating the soft caress of the tornado between my fingers. Maybe I'll come visit it again some time, before we find the feather. I could use the company, as I don't plan to be spending much time with the others. Beside me, Syaoran sighs. I turn my head to him.

"Mhm?" I say curiously. He looks to me.

"I was just wondering…" he says, "when Sakura-hime was floating… and you said that she wouldn't be harmed… how did you know?" I shrug, looking at my hand still floating at my side.

"I don't know," I answer. "It didn't seem aggressive, and I didn't want you to interrupt their little conversation. And besides," I add, cupping the wind, "I think it needed someone to finally listen to it." The boy eyes me curiously.

"What do you mean?" he asks. I smile softly.

"I mean that it's hard to have something tie you back to a place you'd give anything to leave," I say. "I can relate to that." For a free spirit to be immobilized in one place, unable to move, to travel, to discover, it is the worst of tortures. If it wasn't for the twins I would have left home ages ago, or at least made plans to go. That's why I love running so much; it gives me the impression of going somewhere. Of leaving. But I couldn't leave them; not with mom, not to fend for themselves. I love them too much. Syaoran frowns worriedly, looking at me.

"Do you mean… us, Aisha-san?" he asks. I nearly stop as his understanding of my words hit me. But of course he'll think I'm talking about wishing to be away from them, from all that it implies. Aren't I?

Fortunately, before I have the chance to answer the rhythmic sound of drums reaches our ears. Syaoran starts as he points to the thick tower of smoke reaching for the clouds, somewhere in front of us.

"Smoke!" he exclaims.

"Maybe they couldn't wait and decided to sacrifice Fai!" Mokona says, and my heart starts pounding. No… My feet move on their own, and I begin to run to the village. I pass Sakura in a flash, loose Syaoran a few strides later. As I make my way out of the sea of trees, half-running, half-flying, images force themselves to my mind; a cloaked figure, a claw reaching for a throat, a flash of blond hair before the darkness, two smouldering eyes, fire, fire everywhere… I was too late that time as well. Is he going to die again, barely hours later? My heartbeat and footsteps melt into the rhythm of the drums and the world blurs around me. The roots disappear under my feet, replaced by earth and soft ferns. I dig into my last resources and sprint, but I know I'm still too slow. I won't make it in time.

Forever too late.

I rip through a bush before bursting in the clearing. My racing heart misses a beat, and I trip into the dust. Right in front of me, dancing around a large bonfire and beating the very drums that had guided me here in a panic is Fai. Unharmed, a smile stretching from ear to ear, he seems to be enjoying himself as he dances with the natives. I hear the others' footsteps arrive from the forest, and both Sakura and Syaoran land beside me in the dust, bewildered. Seeming to finally notice us, the wizard turns his head in our direction and his smile becomes wider.

"Ah! Welcome back!" he exclaims. I finally start to breathe again, and my hand begins to shake uncontrollably. I close my eyes.

"What the hell are you doing?" Kurogane asks gruffly, and I can tell that he was about as scared as I was. The mage removes the leather strap holding the drum around his shoulder and takes a step towards us, laughing at our expression.

"They taught me!" he explains. "It's a ceremonial dance!" I take a shaky breath.

"I. Am. Going. To kill. You," I say slowly, glaring up to Fai from underneath my bangs. Before anyone can react I've jumped to my feet and grabbed my whip. With a quick snap of the wrist, I make it crack beside the mage's ear; he cringes and backs away, hands brought up in a gesture of peace.

"Now, now, let's not get violent…" he says, the same dumb smile still painted on his face. My lip twitches, almost imperceptibly.

"Run," I warn in a low growl. He doesn't insist, and I dash after him through the camp, snapping my whip periodically to remind him of what awaits him if I catch up.

"WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?" I yell, jumping over a fallen totem pole. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT LOOKED LIKE TO US? ARE YOU TRYING TO SCARE US HALF TO DEATH?" The natives are staying at a safe distance, parting like the Red Sea before us. My whip cracks once more, making several of them squeal in terror. Fai is laughing, just managing to stay out of my reach. He ducks under a branch and tries to loose me in the trees before looping back to the clearing, but I hang on. His laughter reaches my ears.

"It's not funny! We thought you were going to die!" I growl. This time, my whip snaps dangerously close to his ankles.

"Waaaah! Kuro-chan, protect me!" the mage exclaims, making a run for the group.

"Come back here!" I yell. "Do you never think of anyone else? Does it ever cross your blasted mind that some people might actually-" _care. _The word dies before it reaches my lips. No. I scream furiously, but this time my anger is directed as much towards me as to the wizard. Because he made me care, but also because I fell for it. I slipped again.

"Stop it." I barely have the time to see Kurogane's muscular arm before it catches me in the stomach, making me bend over. I cough, trying to catch my breath. The ninja is glaring down at me, then turns to glare at the wizard, then comes back to me.

"Stop it," he repeats. I glare back at him, and at the mage standing just out of my reach. Fai's smile is still there, but his gaze is now intrigued, staring at me like he doesn't know exactly what to think. But now the ninja stands between us, and I don't dare defy him. Seeing no other option, I scream in frustration before turning on my heels and heading the other way, kicking dead branched and leaves out of my way. The others seem surprised at my behaviour, and I don't blame them; but after all, they're not the ones who saw Fai die only hours ago. They're not the ones trying desperately not to care. Fai spares me the usual comments, probably because he senses it would be a bad idea to provoke me. Good. We stand in a few moments of silence, before Mokona breaks it.

"Why is there a ceremony?" he asks. Fai smiles and turns to Syaoran and Sakura.

"Here!" he says, handing them something. I peer over their shoulders just in time to see it; Sakura's feather. Mokona's eyes open suddenly with a 'Mekkyo!' Both kids seem pleasantly bewildered, but Kurogane lifts his eyes up to the sky, discouraged.

"So it was here, huh," he says.

"These people had it," Fai explains, designating the furry natives. "It fell and they picked it up." I lift a doubtful eyebrow and look at the wizard. He looks back and smiles, but one of his eyebrows shoots up enigmatically. There's something horribly suspicious about this, and I'm not just saying that because I'm in a bad mood.

"And it was at about that time that the demon appeared, right?" Syaoran asks curiously to the natives. They look at each other, puzzled.

"Really?"

"Maybe…"

"The demon was a tornado," Syaoran explains. Mokona's eyes are still bugging out eerily at the feather's presence.

"Ah! So that's what it was after all," Fai says, sounding a little relieved. "That's what I thought after listening to these people."

"So," Kurogane asks, seemingly obsessed with that particular piece of the puzzle, "did the tornado say to hand over sacrifices?"

"Well…" Fai says, a little embarrassed, before turning to the natives. "Okay, one more time!" he announces. Like in a well rehearsed game of telephone, the natives animate.

"That terrible thing is strong!"

"Really strong!"

"It blew our homes away, destroyed everything!"

"We couldn't win, even if we fought it…"

"If we can't beat it, how about giving it a sacrifice?"

"That might work."

"That might work!"

"If we give it something tasty, then it might be alright."

"We'll surely be alright!"

"Alright!"

"They said it's alright!"

"Who?"

"Who?"

"That terrible thing, maybe?"

"That terrible thing!"

"THE DEMON SAID THAT IF WE GAVE IT A TASTY SACRIFICE, IT WOULD STOP ITS DESTRUCTION!" they all conclude as one. I shake my head hopelessly. Really, you'd think some people had better judgement…

"IT DIDN'T SAY THAT!" Kurogane bursts, furious. Fai smiles, proud of himself and his discovery.

"Here, Syaoran-kun," he says, handing the feather over to him. The boy takes it with a smile.

"Thank you," he says, and lets the feather float to the princess, slowly merge in her chest. There's an unnatural gust of wind around her, and then she falls, unconscious. Syaoran catches her gently, easing her to the ground. I hear the tornado before I feel it; the leaves of the trees ruffle violently as the whirlwind comes towards us. Seeing it, many natives try to run away, but they don't have the time to get very far before the wind sweeps us. I crouch, sending my weight closer to the ground and therefore, harder to move. Some natives have had the idea to cling to Kurogane for support, and Fai imitates them joyfully. I roll my eyes. The tornado only lasts a few seconds; when it leaves, all that remains of its presence is a small stream of flowers raining down on us. Everyone seems taken by the beauty of the graceful blooms twirling in the wind; one of them floats my way, and I catch it gently. It's purple, my favourite colour. I delicately pinch the silky petals between my fingers, and it forces a sad smile on my lips.

"These flowers…" Syaoran says, softly placing one in his princess's hair, "perhaps they're a present from the tornado." A solitary tear squeezes past my lids and runs down my cheek, before commencing its suicide plunge to the ground. But one of the petals catches it and it sits there, transparent pearl on a velvet bed. Kento gave me flowers absolutely identical to this one, once; my last birthday, when I turned seventeen. Fragile. Purple. Beautiful.

"Hey…" the voice makes me jump. But it's only Fai, holding up a hand as he approaches me. "Are you going to try to kill me again?" I don't answer at first, staying locked in my silence. Then I speak.

"You can talk to me," I say. "I won't bite." He chuckles and runs a hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry. I really had no idea what it looked like to you," he admits. "I didn't mean to scare anyone."

"Yeah, well you're talking to the girl who saw you die a few hours ago. Forgive me for being a little paranoid," I say joylessly. The mage takes a step closer.

"About that…" he starts, "what happened in Edonis Country, with the virtual reality… I just want you to know that it wasn't your fault. Trust me, against the feather's power, whatever small amount of magic you used couldn't have changed the way things went." I look at him curiously. Is he… trying to reassure me? He sighs, shaking his head hopelessly. "I know you won't believe me if you don't want to," he says, "but you shouldn't feel bad for it. Really." So that's what he thinks is bothering me. I'm surprised. Not only that his idea makes sense, but that he put the pieces together at all. I force myself to smile.

"I'm fine," I lie. "Thanks, though." And I walk away. I'm unable to sustain a conversation with Fai; not if we'll be talking about my feelings. I don't even understand my feelings anymore. All I know is that I'm afraid. Afraid to be alone, yet afraid to get attached; afraid to lose them, and afraid to stay with them. I want to crush the flower in my hand, unwanted memory of a lost time. But it's too beautiful, and I don't dare. I just want to sleep, to forget for a few blessed hours, but I can't. My steps lead me to Syaoran and Sakura's side. I want to let go. Slowly, the flower slips from my fingers and floats to the ground. Only then do I notice the thin volutes of matter escape my body, like iridescent ribbons of smoke.

"Mokona?" I ask, looking behind me to find the fur-ball floating with two large wings protruding from its back. We're leaving already?

"Yay! Goodbye! We'll write!" Fai promises the natives as they huddle fearfully to watch us. The last thing I see before I disappear is the deep purple flower reaching the ground softly, in a sea of petals. Fragile. Purple. Beautiful. And gone.

XxX

I land roughly on my stomach with a grunt. I roll over to my back and prop myself on my elbows.

"Mokona!" I whine frustratingly as the white bun lands on my knee. Surprisingly, no voice echoes mine. I look around me. Beside me, Syaoran and Sakura seem fast asleep.

"Sorry," Mokona says with a smile, seeming very unapologetic. I sigh.

"Is it really too much to ask to drop us somewhere _gently_?" I say. Mokona giggles.

"Of course," he answers. I roll my eyes. No one laughs, or asks what kind of country this will be. I feel obliged to say it myself, as I sit up.

"I wonder what this country will be like," I say, giving my surroundings a more observant look. As my eyes scan the countryside around us and take in the large brick wall breaking the scenery beside me, an emergency alarm starts beeping in a corner of my head. Something's wrong. And then I notice it. Or, the lack of it. We've just landed, so no one has had the time to leave to go anywhere. I jump to my feet but stumble, dizzy. This doesn't make any sense. A knot ties itself in my throat as I search frantically around me, but find nothing.

We've just landed.

I start panicking. Caring.

There was no time for them to go anywhere.

And yet, there is no sign of Fai or Kurogane.


	25. Gods and Butterflies

DISCLAIMER: Idon'townTRC.

Long chapter, yay! With another long chapter coming up, yay! I'm sorry, you must be bored to death reading those long chappies I keep putting up. I swear, I'll try to get them shorter. I know I promised before, and that didn't work out that well, but I'll really, really try!

Oh, and you guys who review, I LUV YOU! *grabs everyone in a group hug* I won't name you all, but you know who you are. Every time I read one of your reviews, I feel all warm and fuzzy inside ^_^ *finally lets you go* Sorry about the near-suffocation, that's another thing I have to work on *laugh*

Anyways, enjoy!

* * *

I bang the back of my head on the screen behind me and listen to it rattle on its frame. My fingers play distractedly with the leather of my whip, but I barely register that fact. My mind is turned towards something else.

"Mokochan?" I repeat with a sigh. The fur ball shakes his head.

"Mokona really doesn't know what happened," he says again, humouring me. "But Fai and Kurogane didn't appear at the same place we did."

"Can't you sense them or something?" I ask for the fourth time. "I mean, with Fai's magic aura…"

"They're too far for Mokona to sense anything," he objects.

"And my damn magic won't show itself now that I need it," I conclude grimly. Great, just what we needed.

"But Fai and Kurogane can't be far," Mokona tries to reassure me. I let my head fall against the screen again.

"And exactly how far is 'not far'?" I ask, fearing the answer although I've already heard it. Mokona shrugs.

"Mokona doesn't know," he admits. "But they're in the same world." I grunt.

"Well, that means if we start right now and assume they don't move an inch, we might be able to find them in a few hundred years," I say sarcastically. I look at the closed doors, wondering when they'll open again. I haven't seen a glimpse of our hostesses since they've left us here, and the rest of the house is strangely quiet. The street isn't though, judging from the low rumble of voices coming from the outside – from which we are only separated by a decorative array of wooden bars. My eyes then fall on Sakura and Syaoran, sleeping peacefully on their respective futons. There's an extra one on the floor for me, but I've left it untouched. The girls who brought us here couldn't take no for an answer when they asked if I would like to rest as well. Rather lively bunch, these girls; they found us barely minutes after I had finally resigned myself to the fact that the guys were nowhere in the area. They seemed completely taken by the sight of the kids sleeping, treating us almost like lost puppies as I tried to explain that we were travellers and that we weren't injured in the slightest. I was a bit reluctant to leave our spot, hoping that maybe Fai and Kurogane weren't far and were looking for us as well, but Mokona was formal; they weren't there. I tried to obtain some information from the group of babbling girls around us, with no luck. They seemed too busy talking and gushing to hear my questions, so I gave up with a plan to ask them later, to someone a little calmer. But so far we've been left in this room until the others woke up, and no one has bothered us since then. I can't say that it pleases me to be left in the dark as to our hosts, but I can't deny my need to be alone. Though I'm not really alone, as I've realized.

Mokona jumps on my knee and faces me, suddenly serious. "Why are you trying so hard to be lonely?" he asks. I frown, wondering what the relevance to our conversation is.

"I'm not trying to be lonely," I protest.

"But you don't want to be with us anymore," he says. I shake my head.

"That's not true," I answer. _And that's the problem, _I think to myself. Mokona shifts its weight from one paw to the other, repetitively.

"But," he starts, "Mokona noticed it. And Fai and Sakura and Syaoran and Kurogane noticed it too, and they're all worried. In that other world, the one with the tornado, you started arguing with Fai and Syaoran, and you looked unhappy, and then you didn't want to laugh when something was funny; Mokona tried to make you laugh but it didn't work." He looks up to me with a sad expression, and I can't help but to whimper.

"You tried to make me laugh?" I say, holding out my hand to him. He climbs in. I smile. "That's sweet."

"Why didn't you want to laugh?" Mokona asks again. I close my eyes and shake my head. I feel his soft body pressed against my neck, shaking slightly. With a sigh I place my hand on his trembling form to steady him.

"I'm tired," I say, as though it was an excuse. "I'm sorry I didn't laugh, Mokochan, really. Next time you do something funny I promise I'll smile, okay?" I get no answer from the fur-ball, and look up to the ceiling in search of inspiration. A devilish spark in my eyes, I turn back to Mokona. "Hey, when we find Kuro-puu, what do you suppose we do to him? I propose making up a tone of new nicknames while he's gone." Mokona jumps up and looks at me.

"Oh yes! And can we make up a lot of stories about him and tell them to all the girls here!" he exclaims, and I smile.

"You have read my thoughts," I reply with a sly smile. We keep joking like that for a while, imagining new tortures for Kurogane and Fai when they come back. My smile doesn't fail, but I soon find myself thinking of other things. It was something I had noticed in the previous world, but had been too preoccupied to pay any mind to it; those little bunny creatures sure had a lot of fur. It was quite hot over there. Not the kind of weather to justify so much protection against an inexistent cold. And for the first time, the frugality of their infrastructures strikes me. Even for a village that had recently been devastated by a tornado, the buildings were rare and poorly constructed. They didn't seem like long-time forest dwellers. And then… the feather. If it was at the village all along, shouldn't have Mokona sensed it when we first were there? I nod distractedly at one of the fur-ball's comments, and then stop. Suspiciously, I observe the room for an unknown presence. Finding nothing, I frown. Was it really just me, or…?

"Sakura! Sakura is awake!" Mokona exclaims joyfully.

I smile brightly. "Good morning!" I call out to the dishevelled head peeking out from under her covers. The princess's glazed eyes blink confusedly as she takes in our surroundings. Slowly, she pulls herself into a sitting position.

"Where…?" she asks as I get up and walk towards her.

"We changed worlds when you were awake, as you can see by the absence of tropical trees," I answer, sweeping my arm in a large circle to include the entire room. She looks up to me and blinks.

"How long was I asleep?" she asks.

"We just got here," I say, "so not too long. Well okay, a couple of hours. I've been pretty bored sitting here all by myself, but Mokona's made it his mission to entertain me."

"Mokona's been a very good entertainer!" the fur-ball adds, quickly breaking into the song. I roll my eyes with a smile. Even Sakura breaks into a laugh as she picks up the little guy. For some reason, I notice, my inner alarm doesn't go off when I'm around these two.

"Where exactly are we?" she asks again, taking in Syaoran's slumbering form beside her. I shrug.

"I'd tell you if I knew. All I know for now is that we're in some sort of town, in a house belonging to a bunch of hyperactive girls that managed to get on my nerves in the five minutes I've seen them," I admit. "They left us here so you two could sleep in peace, but I've really been wondering where they went after that, because I haven't seen them." Sakura nods.

"Where have Fai-san and Kurogane-san gone?" she asks curiously. I grunt and bit my lip, staring at the floor.

"Yeah, about that," I say, taking a deep breath. How exactly can I phrase this? "Mokona has something to tell you," I announce, pointing an accusing finger towards the twirling fur-ball. It stops dancing for barely a second.

"Fai and Kurogane aren't here," he says, and then jumps in a pirouette. I sigh frustratingly as Sakura's puzzled eyes rush back to me. So I'm still stuck explaining it after all. So I explain to her the whole thing, starting when she lost consciousness in the last world. She seems rather touched when I narrate the shower of flowers brought to us by the tornado, but then frowns worriedly when I explain that we have no idea where the mage and the ninja have landed.

"We should go look around," she says. I shake my head.

"They're not around here," I object, looking uneasily at the floor. "Mokona says they have to be somewhere in this world, but I still have no idea where and then there's Syaoran who's still sleeping and I didn't want to wake him up after all that happened…"

"We should," she decides. "We have to find them as soon as we can." With a determined nod she turns to her companion and starts shaking him gently. I smile at her candid expression, and sit back on my heels. At first Syaoran doesn't respond in the slightest, and Sakura's shaking becomes more insistent.

"Syaoran-kun!" she calls. "Syaoran-kun, wake up please!" Soon it becomes obvious the boy has no plans to wake up, and I lean over the two of them worriedly.

"Hey," I call, snapping my fingers next to his ear. He doesn't even twitch. "Well, he's pretty much gone," I declare to a slowly panicking Sakura. Tears start to pool in her eyes when I say this. She turns to Syaoran and then to me, her breath rising.

"Do you mean," she almost cries out, "that he's hurt? Oh, he can't be hurt, please, he can't! Was it when I was unconscious, did something happen? Why didn't you tell me? Syaoran-kun-"

"Wha-? Huh?" I interrupt, lifting a hand in sign of peace. "He's not hurt, I swear. I just meant that he finally crashed." Sakura seems to calm down, and she looks up to me with wet eyes.

"Crashed?"

"Crashed."

"Crashed!" Mokona exclaims in echo.

"What does that mean?" Sakura sniffles.

"He's tired," I say. "He barely slept in days, and now he just… crashed. Of fatigue. There's nothing wrong with him."

"Oh," she says softly, looking down to him and bringing a hand to her heart. "Oh," she repeats, seemingly in shock. I smile gently, putting an arm around her shoulders protectively.

"You know," I start, "you have to stop worrying so much about-" Suddenly the doors open, and we both look up. A tall and elegant woman stands in the doorway, framed by two girls who eye us curiously. She smiles when she sees Sakura.

"Good day," she says, "and welcome. I'm glad you woke up." She turns to me. "And it's nice to see you again. I can see you ignored our well-meant offer to rest, yourself." I respond with a stiff bow of the head.

"Karen-Dayuu-san," I salute her politely. "I'm just not tired, that's all."

"I believe you," she assures me. "I simply wanted to see if you needed anything. It would reflect poorly on us if we didn't take care of our guests," she concludes with a low chuckle. I nod.

"Sakura, this is Karen-Dayuu-san," I introduce. "She's the only one who didn't annoy me back then."

"Oh! Hello and thank you!" the princess exclaims, bowing hurriedly. Karen-Dayuu bows back.

"I hope you are not in need of anything?" she asks us. I shake my head

"No, nothing," I answer. "Though if you could get your hand on someone who could show us around and answer our questions, that would be very much appreciated…"

"Oh, if I could ask you to wait some more before leaving this room," she replies, just seeming to remember. "Owner still doesn't know you are here, and some of the girls would be a bit too eager to see them awake." I grimace, thinking of our previous welcoming party.

"Yeah, okay. Maybe we could wait a little," I concede. "Thank you for checking on us."

"It's been a pleasure," she answers, bowing her head. She points to Syaoran with a quick chin movement. "Is he alright as well?"

"He's fine," I say reassuringly. "He's very tired, that's all."

"Uh-huh," Sakura emphasizes, seeming to be convincing herself in the process. Karen-Dayuu smiles.

"Please, just call if you need anything at all. Just," and she giggles softly, "don't do it too loud. We'd rather Owner not find out about you like this."

"Excuse me, but who's this Own-" I start, but the door has already closed on Karen-Dayuu and her followers. I sigh frustratingly. "I don't like being kept in the dark!" I whine. I wanted to ask her about Fai and Kurogane, but failed to place a word in again. My feelings must be showing, because the fur-ball seems to read my mind.

"Don't worry!" Mokona chirps. "Kurogane is a big, strong ninja. He won't let anything happen to them!" I grunt, unconvinced. Sakura eyes me worriedly.

"Maybe you should sleep, like that woman said," she suggests. "You really look tired." I shake my head. She insists. "I've slept a lot since we've left Outo Country. I can wake you up if something happens." I shake my head again.

"I'm good," I say. "I'm not tired." Mokona looks down at me from atop Sakura's head. I eye him as well, defying him to protest in front of the princess, but he doesn't say a word. And for that, I am grateful. With a sigh I let myself fall on the ground, cross-legged. We sit, silent, for what seems like an eternity, until Sakura decides to speak.

"Aisha…" she begins shyly, then gains some confidence, "what happened in Outo Country?" I snap back from my train of thoughts and turn to her.

"What?" I say. "You don't remember? You know, Fai-san opened a café and made us wear really girly maid outfi-"

"Oh, I remember that, don't worry," she cuts me off with a giggle, but turns serious again in the face of my attempted joke. "I meant, when I was asleep, what happened? When we left?"

I shrug. "Nothing much." She frowns as she leans towards me and peers into my eyes.

"Something happened to make us leave," she says. "Why won't you tell me?" I avoid her gaze.

"Listen, I don't think now is the best time for me to start-"

"Why not? I said I don't want to be a burden for you, but how can I do that if I don't know half of the things that happen?"

"It's not exactly fun." Too many muddled emotions mixed in there for me to talk about it calmly; it's too fresh.

"Could you tell me? Please? I know Syaoran-kun won't want to bother me with it when he wakes up, and I want to know, please…" I look for a moment into Sakura's wide, green eyes and make up my mind.

"Fine," I growl. "But I don't want you interrupting, or asking questions before I'm done. Okay?" She nods hurriedly, and I notice that Mokona is listening intently as well. With a sigh, I begin my story. And, although reticently, I begin to realize a few things. First of all, I'm a little stupid. Second of all, so is everyone else.

XxX

Syaoran opens his eyes violently, after what seemed like a particularly bad dream. "Syaoran-kun…" I hear Sakura say worriedly as she leans over him. The boy slowly hoists himself up to a sitting position and thoughtfully brings a hand to his right eye.

"You looked like you were in a lot of pain!" Sakura exclaims. "Are you alright?" There is a tense pause before Syaoran answers.

"It was a dream from long ago," he admits.

"A nightmare?" she asks.

"No," he replies with a reassuring smile. She reaches for his face, gently framing it with both her hands.

"But," she argues, "it was a bad dream, right?" At first Syaoran seems taken aback by her earnestness, but soon he softly brushes away her hands and hold them in his.

"I'm okay," he assures her, a small enigmatic smile playing on his lips. His eyes quickly scan the room in a sweeping arc. "We came to a new country, right?" he asks, and then observes the room more carefully. "What about Kurogane-san and Fai-san?" I don't answer, and neither does Sakura. Then, the boy's gaze is attracted by the wooden bars that serve as an excuse to an outdoor wall. With a bewildered expression he rushes to the bars and sits there, staring at the scene outside.

"Wh…where the…" he stutters.

"Where the hell is right," I say, joining him. Sakura and I know the scenery by heart at this point, but it's true that it can be impressive to someone who doesn't expect it. In front of our eyes stands a bustling town; colourful lights and costumes fight for the viewer's attention while stands and shops of all sorts attract the crowds like flies to honey. At the end of the street is a large tent, of the kind that usually houses a circus, which I wouldn't be surprised if it did. Syaoran doesn't have the time to ask any more questions, because at that moment the doors fly open to reveal the one thing I feared most; the army of girls that brought us here.

"YOU'RE AWAKE!" they yell blissfully, flooding the room in a merciless tide. I do my best to disappear against a wall, but only succeed in escaping them for a few moments.

"We were so worried because you weren't moving!"

"How did kids like this end up in the Yuuka district?"

"More than that, this kid's cute!" one of them exclaims, trapping Syaoran in a sandwich hug with another girl.

"Oh, this young lady's so cute!" another one says as she grabs hold of Sakura.

"Mokona too!"

"Kya! You're _really_ cute!"

"Mokona's always been sexy," he agrees.

"Gaaah… Don't touch me! I'm your age, goddamnit, _your age!_ Let go!" I exclaim, fighting against the tide.

"But you're so adorable!" one girl protests as she tackles me.

"I am not! I am not cute, do you hear me? Not cute!" Another girl joins the first one, and then another, and they manage to trap me between them. "Help…!" I try unconvincingly, attempting to claw my way out.

"Where are Kurogane-san and Fai-san?" Syaoran manages to ask through the chaos.

"Not here!" Sakura calls back.

"Seems we didn't land in the same place," Mokona croons, covered in lipstick.

"What?"

"Since we're in the same world, we shouldn't be too far apart."

"If that's the case, we should go l-"

"WAIT A MINUTE!" The entire room freezes as the strong voice echoes around us. Craning my neck, I manage to see a woman standing in the doorway, seeming unpleased.

"What are you loitering around here for in the middle of work, ladies?" she asks disapprovingly. Her childish pigtails and soft features clash with the knife protruding from her back and her strong, determined glare. "Although he's a child, men are prohibited from here!" she continues, looking down at Syaoran.

"Suzuran-chan!" the girls croon happily, like children acting adorable to calm their angry mother.

"That's 'Owner'!" she replies forcefully, to which the girls answer with a wave of giggles and smiles. 'Suzuran-chan' is now shooting lightning from her eyes as she glares at all the girls amassed in front of her.

"Please let this one go, Owner," Karen-Dayuu's calm voice rises from behind her. I almost let escape an exclamation of relief when I see her stand peacefully in the doorway.

"Karen-Dayuu," Suzuran moans as she turns to face the other woman.

"When these children showed up," she explains without waiting for an invitation, "they'd been sleeping for a bit beyond the walls. This lady," she looks at me, "seemed like she was completely lost, so we showed her in. The young lady awoke earlier, but the boy wouldn't wake up at all. The young lady looked like she was about to cry, so everybody's been worried." Suzuran eyes us critically.

"Are you wounded too?" she asks Syaoran.

"No, not really," he answers.

"So why did you come and collapse her?" she presses on.

"We're travellers," he explains, "and…"

"Oh, you must be hungry!" a girl exclaims worriedly.

"Such poor things to end up here!"

"And they're so young to be travelling alone!"

"Hey! Who am I?" I protest, perking up at the comment. But I am utterly ignored, as the group of girls turn as one to Suzuran.

"Owner!" they plead, as though asking their mother for a puppy. Suzuran stands with her arms crossed, thoughtful. Finally, she speaks.

"If they collapsed on their journey, to ignore them would be a disgrace to our name," she decides, then crouches dramatically. "I, Suzuran, owner of the Yuuka district, will take you in! Welcome, travellers!" Her announcement is met with screams of bliss and clapping from the girls; even Karen-Dayuu giggles like a schoolgirl.

"Yay! Does that mean we get to dress them up?" a girl asks, and her suggestion is met with a thunder of applause.

"Yes! Let's get them out of these old clothes!"

"Dress up! Dress up!"

"I want to dress up the young lady!"

"Oh, and I call the other young lady!"

"And we should put some makeup on them!"

"No! No one is getting dressed up, and no one is putting on any makeup!"

"Awwww! Don't worry, you'll look beautiful, lady!"

"Aisha! My name is Aisha! Help! Gah!"

"Mokona loves makeup! Especially lipstick!"

"Um… please, I think we shouldn't…"

"Let's give them a matching theme!"

"Oh yes, oh yes!"

"NO!"

"We should dress them in cherry blossoms!"

"EVERYONE GET TO WORK!" Suzuran's furious cry rings through the air.

XxX

_When I grow up, I want to join the circus. _I think I probably drove my mom crazy with that statement when I was little. It was always a different thing: when I was five I wanted to be a lion tamer, when I was eight, a clown. I grew up to be ten and wished I were a juggler. And when I turned thirteen and my dreams to join a troupe were reduced to childish fantasies, if you would have asked me one of those crapy personality quiz questions and probed what I wished to be were I in a circus, I would have answered: an acrobat. But dreams are like clothes; you outgrow them eventually, and that one was no exception. Though now, looking up to the bright lights and high trapeze of the Suzuran clan circus, I feel a child's heart beat in my chest.

"Cool! Cool!" Sakura exclaims beside me as Mokona claps earnestly.

"It really is," Syaoran agrees. I don't say a word, too busy watching the acrobats perform, flying through the air effortlessly in bird-like fashion. I marvel at how easy it seems, how graceful. And I'm a little jealous. Mokona laughs as he lands on my head, dancing.

"Aisha looks like she's having fun!" he exclaims, and they all burst in laughter after a closer look at me. I feel the red mount to my cheeks and look down. It turns out the girls did dress us in matching outfits after all. Although the sandals are so high I wonder how I can manage a few steps without falling, the rest of the clothes are fairly comfortable, and no one seems to mind me and Syaoran wearing our weapons casually at our hips.

"What do you mean?" I say, but already suspecting the answer.

"Your eyes are so wide," Sakura answers, clutching her stomach. "It's adorable."

"Aisha looks like a kid in a candy shop!" Mokona adds, pirouetting. I catch him and bring him to my face level.

"Do you want to know what you look like?" I offer. He shakes his head.

"Nope, Mokona is happy with not knowing," the fur-ball says. I chuckle, letting him go – free to nest on Syaoran's head again. Sakura is still laughing, although Syaoran has retreated to an amused smile a while back.

"Was I that bad?" I ask.

"No…" Syaoran begins with a smile, shooting frequent glances at my hands as though wary of a hit. "You just looked…"

"Like a total idiot?" I finish for him.

"I never said that!" he replies, shielding himself with his arms and laughing. I laugh too, sending a playful punch in his direction.

"That's for thinking it," I say.

Sakura stands between us. "No fighting," she preaches lightly. I pout playfully.

"But he made fun of me!" I whine. "Like he never wanted to join the circus when he was little!" Sakura looks curiously at me, then at the show we can peek through the curtains.

"Circus?" she asks.

"They perform all kinds of skills and shows for the audience," Syaoran explains, visibly happy to be back in his role of the inter-dimensional know-it-all.

"They came to Clow Country too!" Sakura seems to remember. She looks into the tent, eyes sparkling. "Even though it feels different, I'm so happy!" Then she calms down, thoughtful. "I got those memories now because you found those feathers. Thank you," she says, turning to Syaoran with a smile. He returns it. I can't help the urge to cut in.

"And me, in there? Didn't I help too?" I ask, pretending to pout.

"And Mokona? Mokona helped too, right?" the fur-ball adds, bouncing. The princess laughs.

"Of course you did," she says, a little apologetic. "I'm sorry."

"Naw, I'm fine," I say, waving away her concerns. Suddenly, the ring behind us seems to burst with excitement and hushed tones. Before we can take a closer look inside to see the cause of such change, someone exclaims:

"It's Karen-Dayuu!"

The woman is now standing in the middle of the ring in a fiery dress, holding a flame-like fan that almost seems to glisten in the weak light. The two usual girls are beside her, holding up what seems to be two lotus flowers. With one smooth movement, Karen-Dayuu brushes her fan towards one of the lotus, and I muffle a gasp; too fast for a natural flower, the petals open gracefully to reveal a tiny flame. She does the same to the other flower, under the amazed exclamations of the audience. Then, with an expression of intense serenity she lifts both arms in an invitation to the flames, which sprout from the flowers and into the air in a myriad of stars. They descend slowly to the ground, where they extinguish, but one has not disappeared that two take its place.

"The sparks are so beautiful," Sakura says.

"They look like fireflies," Syaoran agrees, mesmerized. In the same movement, both me and Sakura reach for the flames. Although they flicker quickly in the air, I know they will not harm.

"But if you touch it…!" Syaoran exclaims in warning as Sakura cups one in her palm. As for me, I still let the spark dance around my fingers before imprisoning it.

"Our fire won't hurt you even if it touches your skin," a voice reassures him.

"Suzuran-san!" we all exclaim, turning to find the master of the circus behind us. She is gently holding a flame of her own, looking down at it with a mixture of bitterness and regret.

"These flames are a gift granted to us by our guardian god," she explains, and then crushes the flame between her fingers, angrily. "But those people at the shrine said it would invite calamity!" I look back at the fire dancing in my palm; I don't see how something so small and pure could cause any sort of grief when it delights people the way it does here. Unlike water, fire has never scared me. I'm about to ask why the people of that shrine would ever think such a thing, when I am interrupted.

"Guardian God?" Syaoran asks, visibly focused on other topics. Suzuran manages a small smile.

"That's right. Our troupe's guardian god. The statue of Ashura," she explains, looking thoughtfully out to the circus ring. "We, the Suzuran clan, have always performed while on tour."

"Then, the rooms for us to rest are…" Syaoran starts

"You can see our tenement over there," she answers, pointing out to the street and the many overcrowded buildings. "Here is the Yuuka district. When the members of our troupe return, they stay here. But only girls are allowed in here. Guys are, of course, forbidden to enter." At these words, Syaoran blushes and looks down at his feet.

Seemingly embarrassed, he mutters, "So…sorry."

Suzuran smiles and winks. "No problem! To best satisfy our customers is our motto!" The boy smiles. I pass an arm around his shoulders and ruffle his hair teasingly.

"Yeah, see, what she means by that is that they've made an exception because you're so cute. I knew it paid to be adorable!" I state in a conspiring tone. Suzuran and Sakura both chuckle as Syaoran turns red. I smile, myself. But Suzuran quickly reverts back to a serious expression, looking thoughtfully up to the large colourful tent.

"Once a year, we come back here when the moon is at its most beautiful. We're happy performing anywhere, but it feels extra special to perform here, at home," she says. Sakura nods in agreement.

"It really looks like everyone is having fun," the princess says, her gaze turning back to Karen-Dayuu and the girls performing in the tent.

"But…" Suzuran says, suddenly tensing, "when we come back here, strange things begin to happen with the statue of our guardian god, Ashura, and the statue of Yasha." A strange silence follows, too tense for any of us to try breaking it, lest it explodes. Finally, I gather enough voice to utter a few words.

"What kind of things?"

"They say," Suzuran snarls, "the people of the shrine, they say that their statue of Yasha cries tears of blood every time our statue of Ashura is near this place. They say it is a curse, and blame it for everything." I look down thoughtfully, more out of respect for Suzuran than out of real concern, and notice that the tiny flame still bounces atop my palm. All the others have long since given out. Tentatively, I lift my hand. The flame follows. My hand falls to my side. The flame goes with it. I try to seize it, but it dances right out of my reach before I can. Suzuran has noticed as well, and eyes the flame, then me, curiously.

"Strange," she says softly, and I look up to her. "Only Karen-Dayuu is able to will the flames as she wishes. Only a chosen few have gained the god's fire. It is a very rare gift, one to be treasured." I almost mention my recent blazing debut – and how this doesn't exactly compare – but refrain from doing so as I see Suzuran's eyes sparkle. Maybe she wishes she could posses that gift as well. Instead, I only smile.

"Thank you," I say. "Don't worry, I will."

"You better," Suzuran replies, teasing. "Because I know a few who would gladly take it from you." I don't think she knows her eyes are sending a longing only the blind could ignore. Behind the curtain the crowd roars, breaking the moment. Almost like snapping from a dream, Suzuran blinks and shakes her head. She looks at us.

"Would you like to see the statue of Ashura?" she offers lightly. I look to the others; Sakura is nodding enthusiastically while Syaoran shrugs, barely containing his excitement. I smile. Syaoran's archaeological passion is about to get its fix.

We are lead through the street, to a small house. I scan the thinning crowd for familiar faces, but don't see any. Although neither I nor Syaoran has insisted to leave on a search for Fai and Kurogane, mostly out of respect to our hosts, the idea has never left my mind. I had hoped that they would have found themselves in the busy streets of Yuuka district by coincidence, but so far have found no such luck.

"Here it is," Suzuran announces, opening a door and ushering us inside. "This is the statue of Ashura." I contain a whistle of admiration.

"Wow," I say instead. Mixing masculine and feminine features so artfully that it has rendered it impossible to determinate the gender of the subject, the statue of Ashura truly is a work of art. Sitting down on what appears to be a lotus flower, both hands joined in a position of prayer while a stone flame sprouts between them, it generates a strange sense of serenity.

"So pretty…" Sakura says.

"It must have been made by a very famous sculptor," Syaoran echoes appreciatively.

"Wow," I can only repeat, at a loss of descriptive words.

Before any of us can react, Syaoran goes in a frenzy. "When was it made? Why was it made? Ashura is a god, isn't he? Is there some special reason…" he asks, running around the statue and observing it from every angle. He suddenly freezes, his eyes wide like a sheepish child, watching us watching him. I barely contain a laugh.

"So… sorry," he mumbles, going red again.

"Syaoran is very curious!" Mokona exclaims. Suzuran observes him curiously.

"You like the statue?" she inquires calmly, though I can see that she too is muffling laughter.

"Yes," the boy admits, still blushing. Mokona takes it as his duty to enlighten the circus master.

"Syaoran is very interested in things with archaeological value and holy things. He usually examines and investigates at the same time," the fur-ball recites.

"I also like this statue," Sakura says. "It's so pretty. It doesn't seem to be causing any bad luck at all." Suzuran smiles, pleased. The others eye me, clearly expecting me to say something, so I step forward and let my fingers linger against the stone. To my surprise, it isn't cold; rather, it sheds a warm wave.

"It's very beautiful," I say, carefully selecting my words. "It almost makes me feel… peaceful, in a way." And it does. Like a child coming back to a long-lost mother and finding out that she hasn't changed in all this time, that she never stopped waiting.

Waiting for a child that may never return.

My fist clenches as I refuse myself to make the parallel to my own life. No one is waiting for me.

"Syaoran, Sakura and Aisha, right?" Suzuran interrupts my thoughts. It's the first time I've heard her use our names. I don't even remember telling her.

"Yes," we answer in unison. She winks.

"Yuuka district is the kind of place that hosts our guests until the end, once we invite them in. So before you guys leave again to travel, this is your home. You guys can stay here with that fluffy white thing that talks," she says.

"Thank you very much!" we all answer as one, then laugh. As Sakura and Suzuran make their way to the door, giggling, Syaoran and I stay behind with the statue.

"Can Mokona sense the feather yet?" Syaoran asks, observing the statue. Mokona shakes its head.

"Not yet," he says, "but it's not very clear, so Mokona can't say no." Syaoran nods.

"There might or they might not be," he says. "And we haven't met up with Kurogane-san and Fai-san. Let's go look for them first."

"Wise planning," I agree, serving him a thumbs-up. Before we can make any more plans, however, Suzuran bursts back into the picture, hugging Sakura.

"Okay, I've decided!" she announces playfully. "Let's have a welcoming party!"

"Parrrrrrtyyyyyyyyy!" Mokona yells, and I block my ears. But then Suzuran stops, and connects her fist to her open hand as though just remembering something.

"Oh yeah!" she says, then looks at Syaoran thoughtfully. "Before entering the Yuuka district, you must be prepared!"

"Huh?" both kids ask at the same time.

XxX

"I…I don't want to…"

"Oh, come on. You look adorable."

"But…but… I…"

"Don't worry, Syaoran-kun! I'm sure no one will judge!"

"Of course not. Worst possible scenario is that they eat him alive."

"Wh…! Huh? Eat…?"

"Ah, please! He'll do fine! I'm sure everyone will love him."

"That's actually a contributing factor to the worst possible scenario."

"I… can I just… not…?"

"No, you can't. We've put together this party for all of you, how do you think everyone will react if one of you doesn't show up?"

"Well, if you put it that way… can I leave?"

"Absolutely not! And Syaoran will be perfect!"

"You really look adorable, Syaoran-kun!"

"But… it's just… I…"

"Everyone will get impatient if we wait any longer! We have to get you in there!" Suzuran decides, heading for the doors. She slides them open loudly, bursting into the room beside us. With a nervous yelp, Syaoran jumps behind a screen. "Thank you for your hard work!" I hear her call over the rumours of conversation. The entire clan must be crammed in there. "Okay, okay!" she calms her excited artists. "A very rare moon night! Let's celebrate tonight's performance! Cheers!" Everyone lifts their cups and yell strange things, which leads me to believe half of the room is already drunk. Suzuran has to yell again to silence them. "This is also a welcoming party for our new guests, Syaoran, Aisha and Sakura! Okay, you three, please come in!" she says, turning to us. Behind his screen, Syaoran shakes his head manically, and turns a brighter shade of red than his sash. Sakura blushes as well, looking from Syaoran to the room of expectant eyes. I only sigh, amused. I know I shouldn't think that, but it is going to be so much fun watching all the girls drool over Syaoran…

"What are you doing, hiding like that?" Suzuran exclaims, scolding, as she grabs Syaoran's collar and forcefully drag him in full view of the girls in the room. Their squeals of delight echo across the room, and I smile satisfactorily.

"I told you they were going to eat you alive!" I sing, tugging on one of the boy's braids. Syaoran still seems too shocked to react. I can't help but take the joke a little further and pretend to observe him critically. "Hmmm… your skirt is crooked," I say, arranging it with a grin. He starts when he hears the word 'skirt', and then whimpers when he notices the army of adoring eyes locked on him.

"Yuuka district doesn't actually allow boys to enter," Suzuran explains, as though she hadn't already done so about a thousand times. "If they found out that someone other than a customer is a male, it might cause a scene. Although what happens on stage does not concern what happens off stage, when we are the Yuuka district I think it's better if you dress as a girl."

"Awwww! They're so cute!" the girls squeal. I really hope I'm not included in this.

"Think of it this way," I whisper to the others, "we match!" And then I slip away inconspicuously before the avalanche gets me.

"Kyya! What is this, what is this?"

"Oooh, I wanna touch!"

Even Mokona has jumped out of the way before the group of fangirls tackle Syaoran to the group.

"Syaoran is popular!" the fur-ball laughs, and I join in with Suzuran and Karen-Dayuu. Sakura seems to be debating whether to laugh or rescue the boy from the clutches of his captors, who will - at the very worst - hug him to death. I'm about to reassure her when the ground begins to shake.

XxX

I wake amidst heartbreaking groans. As I slowly lift my heavy body off the ground, stretching muscles that feel like lead, I notice that the sun is already strong and peering through the windows of the room. Dammit, I overslept. The moans and complaints around me become clearer as my ears get accustomed to the noise.

"Can someone get me sour plums?"

"Someone, kill me now…"

"Oh, the headache…"

"I'm never drinking again…"

I look around the room. Oh, great. Half of the clan is nursing a hangover. Even Suzuran is there, huddled in her corner, although since she's sleeping I can't decide if she'll be in the same state as her troupe. I hope not, because in my time here I haven't seen anything that remotely resembles coffee. And I'm not in the mood to deal with fifty hungover women. Then again, I guess if sour plums help…

I rub my eyes tiredly. I never saw the end of the party last night, passing out on a cushion before the sun started to pink the horizon. I do remember there was plenty of alcohol flowing, though I haven't touched a drop of it. Sakura and Mokona didn't have my restraint, because the last thing I can recall is them running across the room, meowing. I smile. Knowing her, she's probably already bouncing back and forth like a firecracker, helping everybody, whether they want it or not. It's true that work most not be missing, after that earthquake. It didn't last very long, but it probably managed to do some damage nonetheless. Most people were a little shaken when it finally calmed but no one has been harmed, and it didn't seem to be nearly enough to discourage these women from a party. Suzuran did have a hard time getting back into party-mode, however. Most of us took it as a strange occurrence, but she saw someone's hand in it; she claims it must have been the men from that strange shrine trying to destroy the statue of Ashura. I'm not sure what to think; is it simply paranoia, or can the priests of that shrine really cause such things? Whatever it is, it only took a few drinks and some urging from the girls to get Suzuran in a light mood again.

I make my way to the doors, stepping over the groaning bodies and trying not to trip over anyone. Although I do think they deserve it a little, drunk as they were. When I open the curtains to let the sun flood in, I am met with a concert of complaints and exclamations; I ignore them and step outside, stretching. I feel like I've shed one hundred pounds during the night, and my mind is clearer than it has been in a while now. All my self-doubts and fears have been pushed to the back of my mind, allowing me to focus on the present until I find a solution. Even though, now that I think about it, my joy last night wasn't as contrived as I had made myself to believe. I had slipped, countless times. But I don't really care; compared to our dramatic exit from Outo Country, little bouts of laughter and teasing seem childish. Maybe that's the way I should see it: as long as we don't get too close, we can be on friendly terms. How was it that Fai put it? _I know it's not easy for us to be together like this. But you can enjoy this journey. You can smile. You can be happy. No one will blame you for that. _I guess the hard thing isn't to convince yourself that no one will blame you to be happy; you have to learn not to blame yourself. I shake my head. When did I become philosophical? But my smile doesn't fade. Maybe I should try to enjoy myself a little on this journey. After all, I was doing a good enough job here and there…

"Y-y-y-y-you think my outfit is weird, don't you?" I find Syaoran and Sakura sweeping a storefront, talking. Syaoran is slumped hopelessly over his broomstick, red in the face. His girl clothes and long braided wig had made him hard to recognize at first, but the lost expression he's been wearing ever since Suzuran has forced him into a girl's costume doesn't lie.

"I'd like to change out of it, but Suzuran-san would…" the boy tries to explain to Sakura, who only smiles reassuringly.

"No, I think it's really nice," she replies. Mokona is sleeping, oblivious, on her head. Suddenly prey to a wave of energy, the princess begins her pep talk. "I mean it!" she exclaims passionately, "I think it's extremely cute and it suits you! Relax! The only people who are going to see you are women anyway! And besides, no one could ever guess that you're a guy!" Syaoran flinches after every comment, which seems to have the opposite desired effect.

"Sakura, you aren't helping at all!" Mokona says, then falls straight back to sleep. I laugh, approaching them.

"I'm going to have to agree with Mokona," I say. "I really don't think you're helping his ego." They both light up with smiles when they see me.

"Good morning, Aisha!" Sakura calls.

"Have you slept well?" Syaoran enquires. I shrug.

"Yeah, although I could have had a better wake. How about you two? Not too hungover?"

"Nope!" Sakura exclaims, beaming. Syaoran's gaze drops, as he surely recalls his wild chases after the drunken princess last night.

"Were you alright last night? You fell asleep pretty fast…"

"Fatigue, that's all. I wouldn't drink if my life depended on it. So no, if you're wondering, I didn't pass out," I assure him.

"You just crashed!" Sakura exclaims, punching the air, proudly using the new word in her vocabulary. I chuckle and nod. She suddenly seems to remember something she left unadressed and turns to Syaoran.

"I'm sorry," she says, blushing, "about the comments…"

"N-no, it doesn't matter," he assures her, becoming red as well. "The important thing is that you didn't get hurt in the earthquake."

"I really am okay," she replies. "There were earthquakes in Clow Country before. Before we came to Shara… in the country with the tornado… the memory from that feather… I could see the ruins in the desert from the city. Those ruins would be shrouded in sandstorms for most of the year, and sometimes there would be earthquakes."

"It was as though the ruins wanted to fly away from that desert," Syaoran continues, eyes lost in the distance.

"Heh?" Sakura asks, and Syaoran seems to recognize his mistake.

"I saw Clow Country before," he says, looking away, "once upon a time…"

"Really? Where did you go?" Sakura asks, visibly oblivious to his trouble. "Is it someplace I remember?" I see the boy smile painfully, and look to the ground. Even if he tells her, she won't remember him. She might fall unconscious again.

"Excellent! Excellent! Leave it to the youngsters!" Mokona yells suddenly, making us all jump. He then flops back on Sakura's head, fast asleep. We eye each other, puzzled.

"Sleep talk?" Sakura asks.

"Seems like it," Syaoran answers. I shake my head hopelessly.

"We have got to love him," I mutter, "because I swear, sometimes…"

"Hey!" Suzuran calls from behind me, emerging from the house. "Did you get up early so you could clean up outside? You are such hardworking children!" I look down at my empty hands. Okay, so I'm not helping around yet, but I just woke up too.

"Good morning, Suzuran-san!" the kids say in unison. I wave.

"Mornin'," she answers, shooting a glance inside to the concert of groans and head-holding. She shakes her head. "They couldn't handle the wine," she explains. "I wish they could drink like you…" She passes an arm around Sakura and continues in a conspiring tone, "But yesterday was very interesting, wasn't it Sakura?"

"Eh?"

"You and that white thing were dashing around meowing like cats, and Syaoran was going nuts chasing after you."

"And I was sleeping in my corner!" I add, not wanting to be ignored.

"Hummm… Suzuran-san, are you alright?" Syaoran asks the energetic circus master. She looks at him with innocent eyes.

"Karen-Dayuu and I just don't get drunk, even if we drink all night," she says. "But, Syaoran and Aisha didn't drink at all."

"Before, when we drank in another country, we had some trouble," Syaoran admits sheepishly. I nod.

"Oh, you got that right. Although you're not the one who had to endure it," I chip in, my eyes shooting lighting to nothing in particular. "I had the ill-luck of being sober." Syaoran laughs sheepishly. A scream abruptly rips us from our conversation, and we all jump.

"I told you! It's all because of that Ashura statue you've got in there!" I hear a masculine voice bellow before turning to see a unit of several identically-dressed men standing in the street, wielding sticks as weapons and threatening the women around them with hateful glares. A little girl is scrambling to regain her footing after being visibly rammed into by the leading man, while her mirror image is standing her ground in front of the group with a determination impressive for someone of her size. With a jolt, I recognize the two girls always streaming behind Karen-Dayuu.

"No it's not!" the one defending her sister protests, her tiny hands balled into fists.

"We're not wrong!" one of the men replies harshly, looking down at the girls with undisguised disgust.

"What about the earthquake yesterday? We never had earthquakes in this area until your people came to Yuuka district!" their leader adds, sure of himself. With a determined glare, I jump over a spilled bucket of water and interpose myself between the two girls and the raging squad of whom I can only assume are monks from the infamous shrine.

"Whatever you have against a god, doesn't give you the right to barge in here and hit children!" I exclaim, furious. I refuse to break eye contact with the leader, even as he glares back with as much ferocity. Nothing justifies hurting children to me. Nothing, whether it be a couple of shots or a rival god.

Behind me, a group of women advance to back me up, as the little girl gets up, helped by her sibling. "Why are you blaming our god, Ashura?" one of them asks determinedly.

"Every time something bad happens, you just blame it on us!" another adds.

"Yeah!" the others agree, booing at the men, who seem frustrated at this resistance. One of them screams in rage.

"Shut up! Damn woman!" he yells, lifting his stick to strike. I push the others back, shielding them, but refusing to back down. Suddenly, Suzuran appears in my vision, facing us and blocking the blow with the sheath of her sword. I can hear the impact echo through the street and nearly cringe, thinking it could have been me absorbing the shock. But it's better than to have anyone else hurt.

"Don't you dare touch my girls!" Suzuran yells, fuming, turning back to face the men.

"Kya--! Owner!" the girls exclaim lovingly at their boss's fury. I regain my balance and look up, bewildered. The whole thing happened so fast I barely had the time to register what was happening, and now I'm a bit dizzy. Karen-Dayuu's girls are clinging to my arms worriedly, looking over them to the argument in front of us.

"Mind your own business!" the man is now telling Suzuran. A vein pops near the woman's temple.

"THIS SURE AS HELL IS MY BUSINESS!" she screams, kicking the man back so hard he falls against his companions. Body fuming in rage, she stands squarely in front of the men who tower above her. Her pose radiates fearlessness.

"All the girls living in the Yuuka district are in my troupe!" she proclaims. "If you hurt a hair on their heads, it will be over my dead body!"

"Yeah! Suzuran!" the crowd cheers, and I silently encourage her on. The monks seem taken aback by her retaliation, and most of them stumble away a few steps. But one of them regains his spirits and lashes at Suzuran.

"If your troupe worships Ashura, who has been causing all these disturbances, then you must be hiding a dark secret!" he yells. Others chip in.

"You dare treat that statue of Ashura like a god?"

"What are you hiding? What are your true intentions?"

"Souseki-sama should have kicked you out long ago!" At those words, the previously unflappable Suzuran stiffens, her muscles locking in what seems to be shock. I don't know who this Souseki-sama is, but I bet she knows him. Taking advantage of her moment of inattention, the men plunge on her, sticks raised.

"Look out!" I warn, shedding the two girls still clinging to me and dashing for Suzuran, who is fighting off the hits as best as she can. Syaoran bests me, however, by grabbing the overturned bucket and jumping in the middle of the group of monks. Using the bucket as a base, he lands in a handstand and spins, sending the monks flying with a perfect sweeping kick. I stop in my tracks, amazed. Picking themselves up the floor, the monks begin to stagger away, bruised and confused.

"You just watch! We won't forget this!" one of them calls to us, and I stick my tongue out at him.

"I am so scared!" I exclaim sarcastically, glaring at them.

"And don't you come back!"

"Yeah! Go and run for your lives!" the women of the clan call, cracking their knuckles dramatically and wallowing in victory. I turn to Syaoran.

"Okay, that was officially amazing," I say, pouting slightly. "I'm jealous." The boy smiles slightly.

"It was nothing," he says. I only smile and step sideways. Puzzled, he looks at me and cocks his head to the side.

"Why did you-"

"Kyya! That was great!"

"Syaoran is so strong!"

"Hug! Hug!" The boy yelps as he is once again tackled to the ground by a group of hyperactive girls, sending me pleading glances as I watch from my vantage point above them and laugh. If I had stayed where I was before, I would have been caught directly in the tide.

"Thank you, Syaoran!" Suzuran thanks him warmly. "Hey, how would you like to perform on stage for the show?"

"Eh?!"

"That's a great idea-" the girls answer for him, trapping him in a multiple-party head-lock.

"What do I need to do?" Syaoran asks, his voice betraying his panic as he tries to free himself. Suzuran laughs.

"Don't worry, I'll teach you!" she reassures him. But slowly, her laughter fades to make way for an expression of intense sadness. I frown and exchange a glance with Sakura, who is also watching the circus master with growing concern. I wonder if this has anything to do with that Souseki-sama the men have mentioned… My thoughts are interrupted by the arrival of Karen-Dayuu, once again framed by her girls. I smile at them, and they smile back timidly.

"I can see things are back to normal," Karen-Dayuu smiles at the sight of Syaoran struggling with his fans. I nod.

"Pretty much," I admit. Suzuran seems to light up at the sound of the other woman's voice.

"Karen-Dayuu! How are you? We both drank a pretty substantial amount last night, didn't we?" It's painful to watch her try so hard to erase the sadness from her features. I look at Sakura.

"So, how about we try to rescue Syaoran-kun?" I suggest. She answers only with a small smile, which makes me think that maybe those are getting harder and harder to come by, these days.

XxX

"So, what do you want to start with?" Suzuran asks as she shows us an impressive array of odd-looking circus gear. "The trapeze? Or the rope?" Syaoran's eyes go wide as he takes in all the equipment.

"Huh… I'm going to… that?"

"Yup," Suzuran answers, waving her hand in the air as though it's no big deal. "You'll be great."

"Bu… but… I've never done anything like this before," he protests. I pat his head and tug on his braided wig.

"No, Syaoran-kun never did anything like this before," I correct. "But now that Syaoran-chan has spread her wings, I'm sure she'll become an expert at this."

"I'm not a girl!" he says, turning red and shaking his head. Sakura smiles.

"It's alright," she says, looking excitedly at the paraphernalia. "I can't wait to start!"

"Ah! Hime, it's very dangerous…"

"Not at all," Suzuran laughs. "I can get any of my girls to make a demonstration, if you're nervous."

"I'm fine," I answer, eyeing a rope stretching tightly from one pole to another, joining both sides of the circus tent. "I want to try that." Suzuran follows my gaze and smiles.

"Have you ever done anything like that?"

"Nope."

"Here, take this," she says, digging into a pile of heteroclite objects and pulling out what appears to be an umbrella. "To help keep your balance," she explains. I take it, opening it carefully.

"It's pretty," I comment.

"Isn't it? We haven't used it in the show for a while," Suzuran says. I grin.

"It's ironic, however," I notice, "if I fall." Suzuran smiles and waves me off.

"Yeah, yeah. Which you won't. Now hurry and get yourself up there, so you can show us what you can do."

"Alright!" I say, heading for the ladder mounting up the side of one of the wooden poles.

"Ah! Aisha-san, that's very high…" Syaoran protests.

"Really, Syaoran-kun, do you have that little faith in me?" I reply, hopelessly shaking my head and sighing. He doesn't have the time to reply before I'm already climbing, the sunshade securely between my teeth. When I reach the top, looking down at the ground below and the tiny shapes of Syaoran, Sakura and Suzuran, a strange push of adrenaline overcomes me. I look once more at the delicately stylized butterfly painted on the sunshade, chuckle, and carefully step onto the rope. The first steps are trembling and unsure, like a child learning to walk all over again. Tight as it may be, the rope shakes and heaves like an angry sea, fighting against my weight. My foot slips once, and I hear Sakura scream; but I quickly regain my balance and keep my eyes fixed on the other end of the rope. I can do this, no sweat. The next step is like slipping into someone else's skin; suddenly, the adrenaline makes way to a strange familiarity. The rope is no longer an enemy to be tamed, but an old friend. I dance with it, feeling it move one way and leaning the same, anticipating its every movement like in a delicate waltz. I hold the sunshade across my torso for balance, but soon find it artifice more than necessity. My legs carry me effortlessly to the middle of the rope, where I pose playfully on one leg. I can't quite discern the others' expressions, but Syaoran exclaims something that sounds strangely like "be careful." I smile teasingly and send them all a peace sign. I nearly soar through the rest of the journey, and slide down the ladder with ease. I observe the butterfly sunshade more carefully.

"Okay, so maybe it's not so ironic that she pulled you out of there," I tell it with a grin. I skip towards the others, only to see them look at me with wide eyes and smiles. Suzuran crosses her arms and observes me critically.

"You, little lady," she tells me, "are a liar." But her eyes sparkle with mischief. "I don't believe you if you keep telling me, after that, that you've never done this before." I lift both hands.

"I swear, I never did," I say, laughing. "But I loved it." Sakura jumps up and down, clapping in excitement.

"Oh, can I start now? I can't wait to walk on there too…"

"No! Hime, it's dangerous, you could hurt yourself…"

"Don't worry," Suzuran reassures the princess, pretending Syaoran can't hear her, "we'll get you up there when he's not looking."

"He-hey, that's not what I-" the boy protests. I laugh.

"Just give it up," I say, patting his shoulder. "Just give it up…"

XxX

The spotlight falls on Syaoran, outlining his silhouette with golden light. I stand at the bottom of the pole, watching carefully. His handstand is perfect.

"Excellent! Now try a spin!" Suzuran orders. Pushing himself off the platform with his arms alone, Syaoran flips gracefully in the air as he plummets to the ground. He lands with a small thump and jumps to his feet, just in time to catch the two flower baskets that were previously resting on his feet and had fallen with him. Their content spews all around him in a beautiful shower of blooms.

"That was great, Syaoran!" Suzuran exclaims, proud of her student. The entire ring bursts with applause, and I follow them gleefully, balancing the sleeping Mokona in the crook of my arm. "We can definitely have you in the performance tonight!"

"Hey!" I protest, but just for the fun of it.

"Yeah, yeah, you too," Suzuran waves me off with a smile. "As if you didn't know that already." And she goes on looking ravenously at Syaoran. "We're talking about Syaoran, here." The boy shakes his head frenetically, once again seeming embarrassed at all the attention.

"B-but! I've never performed in front of an audience before!" he offers as an excuse. Suzuran turns behind her, where Sakura is carefully balancing on a rope fifteen feet into the air above an adoring crowd.

"Look, Sakura's doing it, no sweat," she tells him matter-of-factly, while his face melts in an expression of panic.

"HIME!!!"

"Ah, please. She's doing fine, you'll bruise her confidence," I say. "Relax." Sakura sends us a sideways glance and smiles, before turning all her attention to the rope in front of her. "See? She's great," I conclude as she reaches the end of the rope and climbs down the ladder. I continue, in fake modesty, "Of course, she's not as good as _I_ am, but it'll come."

"No, you're just a freak of nature," Suzuran replies teasingly. "I've never seen anyone strike a pose on their first try." I pretend to feel offended.

"Gasp! Do you see how she treats me, Syaoran-kun?" I say, but the boy has already rushed to check on his princess. I can't help but smile tenderly as he flies around her nervously and she reassures him with a smile. "They're adorable, aren't they?" It takes me a few seconds to realize I've spoken my thoughts aloud, and I grimace.

"Absolutely adorable," Suzuran agrees. "Kids like that don't belong where they are." To my puzzled glance, she continues. "I mean that they should be at home, with Mommy and Daddy, instead of traveling like they are, alone. No offense to you," she adds quickly, "I'm sure you're taking good care of them and all, but…"

"Yeah," I sigh. "I know. Being left on your own sure makes you grow up fast, doesn't it?" I shake my head hopelessly. "But Syaoran won't give up. Never. So the best you can do is just make sure he stays out of trouble, you know?" Suzuran shoots me a sideways glance, and frowns lightly.

"Why are you traveling, if I can ask?" she says, and I grimace again.

"It's… complicated, to say the least," I admit. "But we're all looking for something, I guess that's the best way to put it. Not all the same thing, but the fastest way to get all of them is to travel together." I look away, lost in my thoughts. Why am I traveling? Just to get home, or… I look again at Sakura and Syaoran and smile. I guess I've started to follow them to find the feathers too, because I care. And I guess that's why this is getting so complicated. Suzuran observes me carefully, seems to decide this conversation isn't worth continuing, and gently but forcefully takes Mokona in her own arms.

"Up, on there," she orders, looking at the rope. "Practice. We need to figure out exactly what your routine is for tonight." I offer her a military salute.

"Ma'm, yes Ma'm," I say with a smile, before dashing for the ladder, forgetting all my worries. Now is not the time for them. Even Suzuran can see that.

XxX

"Well, I must say that was well done," Karen-Dayuu admits appreciatively, clapping, as I slide down the ladder after the training session with Suzuran. She had me practically doing cartwheels on the thin line before deciding on the exact routine I am to perform tonight. I offer the woman a tired smile.

"Thanks," I say. "Hi, girls." The two clones smile timidly, but don't say a word.

"They're pretty shy around strangers," Karen-Dayuu explains, holding out a hand to each of them, "although they've been talking about you an awful lot since this morning." I perk up.

"Really? About me?"

"Yes, they were quite impressed with how you defied the men from the shrine. I must say that, after hearing about it, I am too," she says with a smile, and I feel myself blush slightly. I wave my hand in front of my face, passing it off as heat and breathlessness.

"It was nothing," I protest, shaking my head. "Really. I've done worst."

"Not for people you didn't know, I'll bet," she replies, and I shrug to hide my trouble.

"Okay, so maybe not for people I didn't know. But still, it was nothing. And besides, Syaoran's the one who scared them off," I say.

"Such modesty," Karen-Dayuu teases.

"It's true! All I did was yell at them, and then nearly get my head smashed in by a stick. Not very heroic," I reply, but all she does is smile. Beside her, one of the girls' face is contorted in what seems to be anger. Finally, she explodes.

"I think what you did was very brave!" she yells loudly, startling me. "And even if you didn't fight the men, you were ready to take a blow for us and I think that takes more courage than to just hit someone! If you keep saying that what you do is nothing, then that's not giving yourself justice! And I'm very grateful for what you did this morning, and I want to be strong like that one day too so that I don't have to be afraid to stand up to anybody!" The entire room freezes during her tirade, and everyone turns to face us. I start laughing before the voice that seems too big for this body stops; the girl's face is flushed with emotion, but I can't seem to stop myself. I had the funniest flashback while she was scolding me.

"Wherever I go," I laugh, "I just can't get rid of her, can I? I think I'll be calling you Hinata from now on," I inform the little girl, extending a hand to ruffle her hair. She smiles, certain I have just complimented her.

"And me?" her sister asks, vying for attention. I playfully tip her nose.

"You can just be Hina," I say, and she giggles. Karen-Dayuu cocks her head to the side and observes us curiously.

"Hinata?" she asks. I nod.

"My little sister. She used to scold me like that." I must have shown some wistfulness in my smile, because both girls grab my hands and squeeze. Looking down, I can see that both are looking up to me with kindly eyes.

"So you have siblings?" Karen-Dayuu asks me with a smile.

"Yeah. Twins. Hisho and Hinata."

"Ah. And where are they now?"

My throat tightens. "At home," is all I manage.

"With your parents?" she asks again, and I wish I would ask her to stop. But the answers keep pouring out of my mouth.

"My mother."

"Why do I feel like that's not a good thing?"

"Oh? Nothing. It's complicated."

"Are they far away from here?"

"Yes." My voice croaks almost imperceptibly, and her eyes melt into a gentle kindness as she continues.

"How long has it been?"

"A few weeks."

"How much longer?"

I swallow hard. "I don't know," I admit, looking down. The other Hinata squeezes my hand reassuringly. Karen-Dayuu smiles.

"Do you miss them?" she asks. I nod.

"Of course! But it's complicated," I say, trying to push the subject out of the conversation. "Some party last night, huh? I heard you drank a hell of a lot."

"And you drank nothing at all," she replies without blinking. "Why not?" I free one of my hands and rub the back of my neck thoughtfully.

"I just don't drink," I answer. "Gets you in a heap of trouble. And what's with the interrogation? You'd think I was wanted for murder or something." Karen-Dayuu chuckles.

"I'm simply curious. You three seem like pretty interesting people, and yet we know barely nothing about you."

"Five," I correct her without thinking, before remembering that we're short of two. I grimace, kicking the floor uneasily. "Right…"

"No luck finding information on your missing companion, then?" she inquires. I shake my head and sigh. She smiles reassuringly. "We get all sorts of people here when we perform. I'm sure someone will come that has seen them, or heard of them, if they don't show up themselves." I find myself laughing at the idea of Kurogane and Fai strolling through the bright lights of Yuuka district at night.

"They won't show up," I snicker, shaking my head. "Kuro-sama's never been one for… well, any kind of entertainment, actually."

"Well, maybe we'll find someone who can tell us where they are," 'Hina' suggests.

"This is the best place in the area to be, if you want to find information," Karen-Dayuu agrees. I nod.

"Thanks," I say. "I'll keep an eye out." Karen-Dayuu smiles.

"I really hope you find them," she says, although I can't tell who she means.

XxX

I glare at my reflection as expert hands grab locks of my hair to flip them this way and that in complicated loops. The girl looking back at me is nearly a stranger; only the two dark eyes dancing in the light of the lanterns seem familiar.

"I thought I said something about _light_ makeup?" I say annoyingly at the reflections of the hands whose fault it is.

"Oh, but you can't possibly walk out there without any makeup! That would be horrible! Can you imagine that?" one of them asks another pair of hands.

"Gasp! Ashura forbid, you simply can't!"

"But does it have to be this heavy?" The hands' movements become faster and less gentle, as though irritated at my ignorance.

"You look beautiful, lady," one of them assures me, patting a lock in place. I pout with my ruby-red lips, my delicately drawn eyebrows rising skeptically. I look like a porcelain doll, that at least it certain. The makeup is all in angles and contrasts, pale golds against vibrant reds. My eyes are circled with a thick layer of cole black - which I've been ordered not to smudge under any circumstances, lest I want to be killed by the same hands that have applied it.

"Oh!" One pair of hands claps in delight. "Can you hear them? They're coming, they're coming! Yay to another successful show!" I try to slow my breathing as the sound of the audience slowly filing in the rows reaches our ears. I know the show itself won't start until another twenty minutes, but my body tenses in anticipation.

"Are you nervous?" a hand asks, patting my shoulder. "Don't worry, you'll be perfect. They'll love you." The two hands come to frame my face, lifting my chin up proudly, and the head attached to them peeks into the mirror. She smiles and gently turns my head to the side. "See? Beautiful. They'll absolutely adore you, I promise." I force a shy smile, trying to ignore my pounding heart.

"Why are you still chit-chatting?" Suzuran's voice pierces the hustle and bustle. "We have paying customers in here, in case that escapes your notice. Get moving! Chop-chop!"

XxX

I twirl the butterfly sunshade between my fingers, the way Suzuran has shown me, and throw it in the air only to catch it again. Another few steps… and I stop. The crowd oohs and ahs at each of my moves. I crouch, extending one leg in front of me and holding my position for what seems like an eternity; slowly, I bring my extended leg back under me and jump, switching feet in midair. Someone screams in horror when it seems that I won't make it, but I land safely and pose, one hand extended in the air and my pointed foot resting against my knee. The crowd bursts in applause, some even standing in ovation. I walk to the end of the rope, breathless. I turn to face the crowd and bow deeply, the way Suzuran has shown me. The smile lighting my face must be visible for miles around. And, like Suzuran has shown me, I gracefully exit the stage while the thunder of applause follows me backstage. Surely they must hear the beating of my heart as clearly. I'm still smiling when I pass Sakura, on her way to the ring. She's holding Mokona's sleeping form and is shuffling nervously, biting her lip.

"They loved you," she says, over the acclamations as someone else enters and begins their number. I smile brightly, taking Mokona from her hands.

"They'll adore you," I assure her, as Suzuran calls: "Sakura!"

"Coming! Wish me luck!" the princess says as she rushes to take her place.

"Good luck," I wish her.

"Be careful," Syaoran beckons. I turn around to face him, about to give him a lecture about encouraging self-confidence, when I notice the way he's sitting: hands balled into clammy fists, eyes locked to the floor, beads of sweat pearling off his brow. I nearly laugh.

"Are you nervous?" I ask teasingly, sitting beside him, then sigh contentedly. "Well, that sure gave me a rush." His fingers twitch almost imperceptibly. "You'll do great, trust me. They're not threatening at all; they'll just as soon applaud your failure as your success." His face is red, although I'm not sure if it's the nerves or the makeup giving him a rash.

"I'll… be fine," he utters through clenched teeth, and this time I laugh openly.

"You're adorable," I tell him, poking the giant coifs on his braided wig.

"Let's change his hairstyle!" a girl passing us by decides.

"Yeah! Yeah!"

"What about adding a deeper red?" Looking at the hue colouring the boy's face, I doubt that will be necessary. Suddenly, another thunder shakes the tent and Sakura bursts backstage, eyes sparkling. I applaud her as she walks by.

"See? They couldn't get enough of you," I tell her, and she blushes. I jump to avoid the wave of girls pouncing on Syaoran, and we both laugh as the boy struggles for air.

"Good luck, Syaoran-chan!" I call, as I follow Sakura to the back.

"That was amazing!" she exclaims, looking like she's still caught in the fantasy.

"Isn't it?" I reply, grinning.

"You did well!" Karen-Dayuu compliments us as we walk pass.

"Thank you!" Sakura says, approaching her. Karen-Dayuu smiles sweetly, seeing Mokona in my arms.

"And Mokona slept through it all," she says, chuckling. I nod. Mokona's been sleeping since last night; he's been impossible to wake up, try as I may.

"This morning was such a mess," Karen-Dayuu sighs, shaking her head. "With those men from the shrine attacking us… did anyone get hurt?" She eyes me especially, but we both shake our heads. 'Hinata' and 'Hina' are behind us, chatting. They haven't told me their real names yet, and it wouldn't have made a difference, as I still would have called them by their nicknames.

"But…" Sakura adds, looking worriedly over her shoulder to where Suzuran is enthusiastically giving out directions, "Suzuran-chan almost…"

"Don't worry for her," Karen-Dayuu says, shaking her head. "Suzuran-chan is very strong; but she keeps her desires hidden." She looks to her friend, her eyes suddenly sad. "If you want something, you must take it. Before it disappears," she breathes out softly.

"Karen-Dayuu…" Sakura begins worriedly. I've just had an epiphany.

"It's that Souseki-sama guy, right?" I ask, lowering my voice so Suzuran doesn't hear. Karen-Dayuu's eyes widen, taken aback by my quick inference. But unexpectedly, the ground begins to shake violently and someone falls against me with a yelp.

"Another earthquake?!" I hear someone exclaim through the racket. Everywhere around us, screams of surprise erupt as the entire district is shook down to its core.

"Sakura!" I yell, seeing her waver, and grab her arm to keep her up. But I don't answer her thankful gaze; my eyes have just spotted something odd about the little fur-ball in the crook of my arm: his eyes are open…

"Quick! Everyone out!" a voice calls, and I don't wait twice to rush out of the tent, trailing Sakura behind me. Frantically, my eyes scan the crowd; the feather has to be out here somewhere…

"The sky!" Syaoran yells in front of us, seeming bewildered. I glance over my shoulder, only to stop cold. As though a large blade had run right through it, the sky has parted to show us a mesmerizing spiral, almost like a maelstrom of light.

"There's a hole… in the sky…?" I say, too surprised to make any sense of my ideas. There's something horribly tempting about that break, almost like a voice calling me, urging me in. Before I can answer the call, however, Suzuran rushes past me, nearly knocking me over in her panic. Without thinking, I follow her, along with Sakura and Syaoran. We rush pass through the district, dodging crumbling rooftops and falling lanterns. Even this early in, I can tell this earthquake will be worst than last night's.

"The statue…" Suzuran pants, pushing her way to the small building we had first seen the statue. "I hope it didn't fall and break!" I fall back a little. She's so upset about a statue…? But then, the way the men from the shrine who keep ostracizing her and her troupe because of that very statue… despite her longing to be with this Souseki-sama, she holds on fast to her beliefs, probably because it is what separates her from him. Because if she cannot be with him, then she can remember him by the gape she chose to keep. And if the statue breaks, the shrine wins; whatever they have been fighting for during generations will have been for nothing. She can't be ready to accept that.

"Ashura-sama!" she yells, throwing the doors back, and the cry slowly fades and bubbles out of her lips. "Ashura-sama…" I stop, amazed for the second time in a few minutes. The statue of Ashura, artful masterpiece, is engulfed in flames so high they lick the ceiling without consuming it. Another shake sends us tripping, and we hear new exclamations of pain coming from the outside. I keep staring at the statue, spellbound more than afraid; the same voice as the one coming from the hole in the sky is calling from it.

Suzuran, on the other hand, seems distraught. "No! Ashura is our troupe's guardian god! It wouldn't bring any harm to us!" she exclaims, rushing to the statue and gripping it with both hands. The fire does not harm her. "Whatever is happening now… I'm sure it has nothing to do with the statue of Ashura!" Suzuran cries desperately, with the expression of someone being convinced more than convincing. But then she folds into herself, sobbing helplessly. "No… It can't be Ashura-sama's fault," she repeats. "It can't be… if it's true…" she gasps for air, "I'll never see him again…" I walk up behind her, tentatively putting a hand on her shoulder. _It's okay, _I want to say. _Everything'll be fine. _But of course, it won't be. So I remain silent.

"Suzuran-chan…" Sakura begins worriedly, as one of Suzuran's tears spills out of her eyes. As soon as it come in contact with the flaming stone of the statue, a veritable inferno rages. I back up with Suzuran, escaping the heat of the flames by reflex, although we know it will not burn. When the eye suddenly opens on Ashura's forehead, however, I buck; the voice calling me, so soothing at first, has now made way to an unfathomable source of power, a heartbeat so strong it overwhelms me. An entire new dimension is pouring in from that crack in the sky and with it, a strong omen of dread. Cold creeps through me, pushing its way through the warmth of the fire. The thing behind that portal, overflowing from that world to this one, is nothing less than the darkest, most obscure force I have ever felt, and my entire body fights against it. And suddenly, I realize that, although I had first thought the force was calling me, bringing me towards it… it was the one coming to me.

"No!" I shout, as though shocked, and back away from the room. Looking now in the bright red eye staring at me from cold stone, I recognize what I am sensing, what is coming this way; I have never felt it, but anyone would know. Anyone could feel it.

Death.

I run out just as a beam of light shoots out from the Ashura statue, and the ceiling of the small building crumbles. In the chaos of the street, any hope I had that by leaving the statue my feeling of dread would ease is crushed, because the hole is still there, burning bright in the dark sky. The beam of light reaches it, somehow upsetting its smooth surface. Far away, to the east, another beacon shines just as bright. When they both reach the hole, the previous kaleidoscope fades away to show a moon, out of place in this foreign sky. I realize with some alarm that I'm shaking uncontrollably, scorching with fear. In my arms, Mokona starts gracefully gliding towards it. Before I can react he is out of my reach, two wings extended on each side of him. I wait for the magic to show itself in my awareness, but nothing remains but the aura of death this moon holds.

"What's wrong, Mokona?" I hear Syaoran call over the heavy rumble of the earth. Mokona's voice is monotone, as though he was still asleep.

"There are no feathers in this world… but in that world… that is where the feathers are…" the fur-ball explains dreamily. I jerk away. He's bringing us to the very center of it!

"No!" I yell again, rushing to the others in the room. It doesn't matter that the eye is still there, shooting us its eerie warning. I have to tell them, we have to find a way to stop this…

I can feel my body disappearing before I reach them. I try to fight it, but there's no use. Before I can scream a warning, I'm being sucked into Mokona, preceded by two oddly familiar shapes. The dark force is penetrating me now, ripping me apart like a wolf with its prey. I want to scream, but of course I can't. I try to see the others but the darkness is total. I have the time to wonder who was it that entered Mokona before me, why they were so familiar. Abruptly, the death force recedes and I can take a breath before plummeting head first into the very world I was so keen on escaping. A whimper escapes my lips as I roll in the dust, protecting my head as best as I can with my arms. I don't want to see where I've landed, but I lift my head up anyways.

The first thing I see in this new world is blood.


	26. Cold Flame

Disclaimer: I.d.o.N't.O.w.n.T.R.c. (I'm getting creative with these)

Next chapter! This one is long as well, and there's honestly not a lot of action. I'm just hopping I managed not to make it too boring…

And yes, I made up a language. I know that if you think about it, if Kurogane speaks Japanese, then that means the Yasha clan speaks Japanese, which would logically mean that the Ashura clan speaks Japanese as well. But I don't know Japanese, and when it became obvious I would have to make various characters speak, I had to do _something._ So I made up a language using my knowledge of French, Spanish, the very few words I know in German, one word in ancient Gaellic (I think) and random syllables stuck together depending on my mood. My friend ElectriConnection coined the word _kentobinat. _See, told you I'd give you credit for it! ^_^ I also had fun with the "hr" sound, as you'll probably notice. Although the meaning of the words is either made obvious by the setting (I hope) or doesn't hold much importance to the plot, feel free to ask for a translation if you really want to know what's being said. Most of it is pointless banter, anyways.

Oh, and the whole "is Ashura-ou a woman or a man?" thing is inspired by my own experience while reading this arc *laughs sheepishly* My mind would literally change from frame to frame, I was so confused… and they never say, either… and the whole Yasha plot made it worst… and then it turns out he's neither male nor female… I was like "Oh. Well, that explains a lot." So Aisha is plagued with that same dilemma.

Okay, I'll let you read the chapter now. You don't have to read what I say when I rant like that, I'm sorry, that must be painful…

* * *

"Wha… no… NO!" I scream, kicking the mangled, bloody body off of me. Standing above me is a menacing silhouette, cut out by the light of the moon that seems to take the entire sky. A still-bloody sword in hand, it steps towards me. I hear a deep voice ask something, but I am too busy scrambling to my feet to understand. There seems to be voices everywhere here, people screaming in pain where blood gushes, the clatter of metal against metal. A strange creature that resembles a cross between a horse and a dragon nearly steps on my hand, and I yelp. My hand comes instinctively to my belt, searching for my whip, only to remember I've gotten it holstered under the large harem pants Suzuran has given me, close yet out of reach. I look nervously at the man coming at me. It's obvious that I'm standing in the middle of a battlefield; and it's impossible to know if he'll see me as friend or foe.

The same question shoots out, although I still can't understand a word of it. My eyes search from side to side; no signs of a familiar face. Can this mean that the others…?

I scramble up a rock, backing away from the dark-clad soldier still standing there. Then, as suddenly as he had slaughtered the man still lying at his feet, a fountain of blood erupts from his back and he falls, replaced by a man on one of those odd horse-dragons. I cover my hand with my mouth to keep from screaming. Stepping over the two fresh corpses, the animal comes towards me, sniffing in my direction. The man ridding it seems perplexed more than threatening, and asks something that I cannot answer. I shake my head, unable to detach my gaze from the blood trickling down the stone between us. So smoothly I barely notice it at first, the substance of space seems to ripple, and the battlefield around us disappears, revealing a luxurious forest. I look up. The man is still there, looking down at me curiously. His dark hair and green eyes sparkle in the grey light of the moon, which now seems so far away, claiming only a portion of the night sky. Despite his bloody clothing and weapon, I find myself relaxing slightly in his presence, even if I have no idea what has just happened and where the battlefield has went. Something in his eyes tells me that he means me no harm.

"_Haiyo!_" I turn swiftly towards the harsh voice calling us, and the man imitates me. Someone else is riding towards us, surrounded by other soldiers, all wielding weapons. He is holding what appears to be a large boomerang. I back up, scanning the clearing for an exit. The man who has just arrives asks something in his strange tongue, and the dark-haired soldier answers. A few on-foot soldiers are pointing their swords and spears tentatively at me, and I stare them down as best as I can. There's no way I can reach my whip inconspicuously, so I settle with showing them my empty hands as a peace offering. The newcomer, who seems to be in charge, eyes me suspiciously and orders something. I look at the dark-haired soldier, my eyes asking. I don't know what's happening, and I want him to tell me. His green eyes only settle on my face for a second before he turns to the other man and utters something. Visibly fuming, the other man snaps something back at him that makes my dark-haired saviour bite his lip in frustration. The soldiers step closer, forming a tight circle around me, and I start to choke. So his method amounted to nothing. It seems I'll have to depend on myself to get out of this. My heart beats furiously in my chest, but I say nothing. One of them urges me forward with the point of his spear, and I step uncertainly forward. Before any of them can react, I'm shoving my way through the line of bewildered men around me and dashing towards the thick underbrush. I hear exclamations behind me, and a few soldiers try to catch up, but I'm too fast for them. The boomerang-man yells something, and the other soldiers I pass all seem to animate. I elbow one in the throat before he can grab a hold of me, and dodge the others with a few kicks thrown in the mix.

"Damn," I mutter, realizing that they've managed to slow me down. The undergrowth, my only safe haven, is still hopelessly out of reach when I hear something whistling past my ears and crash into a tree next to me. I stare for a second at the shaking boomerang wedged deeply in the soft wood and bolt, jumping over the groaning figure of a man I've just punched in the stomach. I circle a brick wall of a man before he can catch me, and nearly run into a horse-dragon standing in my way. I throw myself back, surprised, only to be caught by the same hands I was avoiding. When I regain my footing, one of them has a tight hold on both my wrist and shoulder, and another is squeezing my elbow so hard I have to bite my lip not to yelp in pain. As I struggle, I look up to the one who has done me in so easily; in return, his eyes widen a little when he sees me, as though he doesn't know what to think. No, he's not a man; the features are too delicate to belong to a masculine frame. And yet… I hear him ask something in a calm voice, and suddenly everyone stops moving. I take advantage of this to liberate my elbow, although my other arm is still trapped. Riding towards us at great speed is the boomerang-man, who, after retrieving his weapon, has assumed his position of yelling at everybody. The dark-haired soldier is close behind him. The person of doubtful gender asks his question again, just as calmly, and the boomerang-man – after sending me a hateful glare – begins explaining something loudly, his arms flailing around him. Green Eyes tries to slip his own version of things in there somewhere, but Boomerang just shuts him up. I try to shake my arm away, but the soldier's grip only gets tighter. In front of me the conversation continues, animated, with Boomerang screaming and Green Eyes continuously trying to add something but failing. I take a closer look at the man in front of me; his long dark hair is tied back in a high ponytail and his large eyes and facial expressions steer me towards the feminine side of the scale, yet his frame is definitely that of a man. The golden jewellery he wears identifies him as the leader of this group, as well as the calm authority he seems to possess. Every time he speaks the rumours of the regiment go silent. Suddenly, frustrated, Green Eyes yells something above the constant roar of Boomerang's voice and everything freezes. All eyes turn to me now, although I have no idea what has just been said. The leader turns to me again, puzzled, and asks something in his strange tongue. I bite my lip, trying in vain to understand something in the flood of sounds escaping his mouth. When I don't answer, Boomerang gets angry.

"_Relia a Hren, kentobinat!_" he yells, lifting his weapon as though he's thinking of hitting me with it. I snap. No, but really, what did I ever do to them?

"For God's sake, I can't understand a word you goddamn say!" I yell back, shaming his earlier vocal performance. "Is that so hard to understand?" Even the forest seems to fall silent now. I don't think it has ever occurred to my captors that I could not understand their language at all. Now all their eyes are wide and staring, and I sustain Boomerang's puzzled glare. The leader closes his eyes for a second. When he opens them, his voice rings clear through the entire clearing. For a second, I could hear a fly buzz, then the whole battalion explodes. Boomerang protests forcefully, but I can see the hint of a smile light up Green Eyes' face. Maybe what he just said isn't bad for me then. The leader answers something calmly, and Boomerang stops talking, although he doesn't seem too happy about it. He throws out a few orders, and suddenly things get moving. The soldiers restraining me let me go, and everyone seems to take their place in a carefully rehearsed order. I feel stranded in this, hopeful that it means I might be let go, but unexpectedly a pair of hands grabs me from behind. Before I can so much as yelp, I've been hoisted atop one of those dragon-horses, in front of Green Eyes who laughs at my expression. Turning towards us, the leader sends me a reassuring smile. I look at Green Eyes, undecided. Should I follow them, as they seem so keen on making me do, or should I say goodbye and start searching for the others? But then… where would I go? I look around me, to the thick forest and impenetrable bush, the moon that seems so much smaller than it was on the battlefield, the night that closes all around us despite the lanterns carried by the soldiers. I can't stay alone, with no shelter or food. It seems like I have no choice but to follow them.

"_Hiel nei vahier das, Ashura-ou!_" I hear Boomerang, still arguing with his leader. Suddenly, it occurs to me that I've seen that man – or woman - before. The Ashura statue! It was absolutely identical to him. Could it be that the Ashura in this world, a human, could be a god in another dimension? That seems a little far-fetched to me. But maybe I didn't hear him right. Maybe it wasn't his name…

"Ashura-ou?" I ask Green Eyes, pointing at their leader. He nods.

"_Oi. Ashura-ou,_ " he answers, then brings a hand to his chest. "_Raken._" Hesitantly, I bring my hand to my own chest.

"Aisha," I say. He smiles and nods.

"_Oi. Aisha,_" he repeats. With a sigh, I rest my cheek on the beast's neck. This reminds me painfully of my ride on Silver, back in Jade. Hopefully Raken has a better hold on his animal than I had on the mare. The memory makes me smile, before I grimace. I should be finding the others, but I don't know where to start. If I can't understand the language here, does that mean Mokona is very far? And how far is that? Raken nudges me on the shoulder, and I turn to him. With a smile as wide as a child's, he points to something in front of us and says something. I follow his gaze and can't help but gasp. Enclosed in its chalice of stone lies a delicately carved palace, seemingly rising from the rock itself. Giant asperities reach for the sky, piercing the earth like the claws of a mythical beast. The whole horizon is punctuated by smaller spears, teeth, green from foliage. It's beautiful. I just wish I could be somewhere else.

XxX

My reflection in the mirror discourages me completely. The pants Suzuran has given me are ruined, stained with blood. My intricately woven hair has somehow managed to stay in place, but the same cannot be said of the makeup, which now lies all over my face following no particular theme. The dark coal around my eyes has been smudged horribly, for which the hands would surely massacre me. In short, I look terrible.

The boy at the door says something, and I shrug. I don't care what he said. All I know is that he's been placed at the door to guard me, presumably so that I don't try to run off into the night. He doesn't look much older than I am, maybe eighteen. When I first saw him, awkward and uneasy, with his spear at one side and a knife at his belt, I couldn't help but think that I could easily overpower him. But then what? I don't have anywhere to go, and I'm best staying on these people's good side if I want them to feed me. Besides, he looks kind of nice.

The sudden apparition of two women in the mirror startles me. One is holding a pile of clothing; the other swiftly grabs my arm and starts dragging me towards a door in the back of the room. She swings it open and nearly throws me in a large basin of soapy water, expertly stripping me from my clothing. I protest, but she ignores me and begins scrubbing my skin with hard soap until it turns red. The russet blood on my body fades away, and the water turns pink. I have to stop myself from shaking, remembering the men it belonged to, their bodies now maimed and left to keep company to so many more on a cold battlefield. The woman doesn't seem to notice anything and urges me out of the bath. She leaves me stranded on the cool marble of the floor, a small puddle forming at my feet. There's a full mirror on the wall in front of me, and I take a look at myself. I'm soaked and shivering, looking every bit like a cat lost in the rain. I'm handed a towel to dry myself, but apparently don't do it well enough; both women take turns rubbing me down until my skin feels raw. One of them fishes into the pile of clothing she brought with her and pulls out a silky robe, which is quickly secured around my waist with a woven belt. I try to tell them that I can dress myself, but either they can't understand me or they pointedly ignore the message. When I'm finally allowed back into the main room, I've been fully outfitted in a flowing dress and matching slippers. Any attempt to touch my hair has been thwarted, and I think the two women waiting on me know when to pick their battles. The boy at the door drops his gaze to his feet as soon as he sees me, as he's always done when I've looked at him. I don't know if he's just shy, or if someone – and I'm not suspecting Boomerang at all – forbade him to even look at me. I actually wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. I'm not sure why he dislikes me so much.

My reflexion in the mirror is slightly more encouraging than it was ten minutes ago. The dress is grey silk, far from the colour of blood. Although my skin is red and blotchy it is clean, and my damp hair has been matted to my head. The boy says something strangely similar to his announcement before the women arrived, so this time I turn to the door. Another woman walks in and stands in the doorway, utters something unintelligible before bowing and leaving. I look to the boy, puzzled. The women who dressed me have evaporated somewhere, so we are the only two left in the room.

"What… what did she say?" I ask, knowing perfectly well that he can't understand. He turns his head to the side, looking everywhere else before meeting my eye. He says something, a question I think, pointing the way the woman went. I don't know what to answer. With a sigh, he motions for me to follow him, still avoiding eye contact as much as possible. I walk with him into the hallway, where he guides me through a maze of passageways and doors leading god-knows where. I notice that, even though he refuses to lock gazes with me, he never seems to leave my side as though to block any possible escape. I don't know where these people expect me to go, if not where they want me to. When we arrive to a large deck occupied by several people, we both stop. He mutters something, which seems to resonate awkwardly through the now-silent assembly. Everyone has stopped talking and is staring at us. Or, more specifically, at me. I manage a small smile, retreating onto myself. Ashura-ou is sitting on the edge of some sort of shallow pit in the middle of the deck, and I spot Boomerang standing in a corner, glaring. Raken is nowhere to be found. My only ally in this mess isn't here. I don't realize that I've been biting my lip to blood until Ashura-ou speaks.

"_Valkeren a Hrena invata_," he says, sounding almost joyous. The room seems to animate at his words, and everyone slowly begins to ignore me, for which I am grateful. I can handle hateful glares, but this is an entirely new feeling. The way they look at me, it's like… I'm some sort of curiosity. A new toy they're not sure they're going to like. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Ashura-ou adds something, and the boy gently pushes me forward, towards the pit. I take a few hesitant steps as the guests start to converge towards the centre of the deck, then turn and send the boy a sideways glance. He doesn't move, just urges me on silently, so I square my shoulders and sit as far away from everyone as possible. This turns out to be a bad strategy; I end up directly facing Ashura-ou, who smiles reassuringly. My lips stretch a little, but that's as far as it goes. What I had seen as a crowd when I walked in, probably due to my apprehension, has turned out to be about a dozen people, including me. Most of them I recognize from the forest: they were the ones riding dragon-horses, probably officers. Some of them are missing, however, including Raken. Especially Raken.

Plates of food are set up in the centre of our gathering, fruits and small pastries and slices of meat. Everyone picks into them, eating and talking, while I am absorbed with the contemplation of the night around us. There is a pond on one side of the deck, glistening silver in the moonlight; bushes and fruit trees on the other, rustling in the wind. In the distance there is the rumble of a small waterfall, although I can't see it. I think this is a place I could actually enjoy being in, if it wasn't for the people speaking a foreign tongue all around me. I am so busy ignoring my surroundings that when Ashura-ou speaks to me, I don't notice it at first. Not until everyone falls silent do I realize I'm being addressed.

"_Hiel nei coma?_" he asks, designating the food in between us. I notice that I am the only one among the diners who hasn't yet touched a plate.

"I… um… I'm not hungry," I say apologetically. Just then, as though to contradict me, my stomach emits a low grumble. I hear a woman giggle behind her palm, and several amused smiles erupt. Ashura-ou even bursts into a soft laugh. Feeling myself turn red, I dig into a plate and come up with a round pastry, which I stuff into my mouth. Sweet and chewy. Ashura-ou seems satisfied.

"_E ben, nei?_" he asks, a little teasing. Several people laugh, but I have the feeling they're laughing of me instead of with me. Only Boomerang keeps a straight, sour face. I take a closer look at some of them, trying to establish some sort of contact. No one dares to meet my eye. I bring one leg onto the ledge with me, hugging my knee to my chest uncomfortably. After that the rest of the banquet is spent in utter silence for me, and I try to eat enough not to be called upon again. Ashura-ou sends me periodic glances throughout the meal, but restrains from speaking to me again. As soon as I deem it socially acceptable to leave – after Ashura-ou has retired – I do. All the eyes follow me inside the palace, the boy trailing after me. He only manages to catch up at the end of the hallway, where I've stopped.

"I don't know where to go," I admit to him, chuckling at my own stupidity. He doesn't say anything, just sends me a curious look and guides me back to the room I must assume to be mine now. On the bed is waiting a long, crimson nightgown. I sigh.

"I guess I should be getting some sleep now," I mutter. Yeah. Sleep.

When I slip between the covers, all I can think about is them.

XxX

"_Hey, kids!" I call, and immediately hear hurried footsteps upstairs. "Look outside!" I wait a few seconds, before the excited screams reach my ears._

"_There's snow! It's snowing, it's snowing!" I laugh. _

"_Hurry up and get dressed, before it all melts!" I say, and no sooner am I done than Hinata comes crashing down the stairs, still barefoot in her pyjamas, Hisho right on her heels. I have to catch her by the ponytail to keep her from running outside as she is. Dressing them is a struggle, as both are too excited to button their coats themselves. When they are finally ready to run outside, the door bursts open to reveal a grinning Etsuko, holding up a snowball. _

"_Snowball fight!" she yells, and both children scream in excitement, cowering behind me. I send Etsuko a warning glance. _

"_Don't you dare," I say. Her only answer is to throw the ball in my direction. I gasp as it erupts on my shoulder. More dirt than snow, it trickles down my shirt and makes a mess on the floor. _

"_You…!" I exclaim, pointing a menacing finger in her direction. "I'm going to kill you for this!" And we both rush out the door, barely containing our hilarity. The twins follow us._

"_Hey! No fair, how come you get to go outside without a coat?" I hear Hinata's voice behind me. _

"_Because I'm getting revenge!" I answer, tackling Etsuko to the ground. We both roll on the snow, howling in laughter. Getting up, we are both covered in water and mud. It doesn't take long before we are throwing snow at each other, chasing the twins around to tickle them and soon the whole street has been turned into our own personal playground. Kaede runs in from her house across the street to join the fun, still in her pyjamas and slippers. She and the twins try catching snowflakes with their tongues. We wake up Kento, who sticks his head out of his bedroom window only to be greeted by a slushball in the face. He comes down in seconds, growling and threatening to kill us all. We use up all the snow in all three of our front yards to build a snowman the size of a small potted plant. Hinata uses two of her marbles as eyes and Hisho puts his hat on the snowy head. A droopy carrot serves as a nose, and our masterpiece is complete. When Hisho asks why we didn't give him a mouth, Kento says it's because that way he won't force me to hit him if he gets too annoying. I hit him instead. When the glee ends, hours later, there is barely any more snow left on the ground. _

"_I swear, we can scrap what's under our shoes and cover the whole street again," I joke as both me and Kaede walk into my house. She laughs and pretends to scrape the sole of her slippers and throw it back outside. The twins shriek, pleased. At six, anything is funny to them. Kento and Etsuko join us after raiding their fridge for cookies. I make hot chocolate while Kaede amuses the twins, cover it all with whipped cream and we indulge. Mom is working this weekend, extra hours to pay for her latest indulgence last week, but that knowledge only sheds a tiny shadow on the afternoon. I prefer it this way, anyway. _

_The twins collapse, exhausted, a few minutes after supper. I bring them upstairs with Kento, and we tuck them in. Everyone leaves, and I wave them goodbye from the doorsteps. Kaede is still wearing her pyjamas. It's still snowing outside, as it has been for the entire day. We all know that tomorrow, the snowman will be gone and all traces of today with it. _

_After they leave, I sit on the couch and look out the window for what seems like hours, putting off the moment I will go to sleep. My reflection smiles joylessly as I try to catch the snowflakes through the glass, knowing very well that tonight, I will dream of snow._

XxX

_The snow is everywhere. I can't move. I can't breathe. I can't scream._

_ The snow is cold. I can't stop it. I can't leave. I must stay._

_ The snow is fire. It burns where it touches my skin._

_The snow is endless. It will never stop. Not until I freeze. Not until I die._

_The snow isn't white. I don't understand. The snow isn't…_

_The snow is red._

_I scream._

XxX

I bite my pillow, and my scream gurgles and dies. Now is not the time for nightmares, not when I seem to be living one. I don't want to think about where I am, where the others are, when I'll be able to find them. Mokona is far away, that much I know, and it's not reassuring. No one here accepts to meet my eye, with the exception of Raken, and he's nowhere to be found. I think back to Shara, when Mokona transported us here: there were two silhouettes before me. It was Fai and Kurogane, I'm ready to swear it. But if a small distance was enough to throw me so far from Mokona, I don't know where on earth they could have ended up. Maybe they're not even in this world… maybe Syaoran and Sakura aren't either. Maybe we'll never find each other. Maybe it's all over, just like that. Maybe…

I stop myself before I go too deep. No, it's not over. They're far, but distance is not insurmountable. I bite my lip. I just hope they've stayed together. I try to imagine what could have happened to them if we all ended up alone, but I have to stop before I burst into tears. Thinking about them just makes it worst. All I can do is hope that things are going better for them, that maybe they've found each other… and that if they did, that they're looking for me. Any other possibility is far too much to envisage.

The truth hits me like a tone of bricks, worst than when my kudan left me. I'm alone. Truly, utterly and bitterly alone.

I don't want to cry, but I do.

XxX

Waking up is hard. I think maybe my eyes want to protect me from the sights that will crush my hopes. At least if I stay here, locked inside my head, I can pretend that I'm still in Outo, and that the voices I hear are Fai and Sakura in the kitchen. Or that I'm in Shara, after the show, and that today we will go out looking for Kurogane and Fai. Or even better, that I'm in my bed in Hanshin, and that none of this has ever happened. But it's hard to keep off waking up when the babble of voices is unknown, the smell of warm food assails your nostrils and someone is playing the flute. Wait a second… I open my eyes to see the boy at the door slouched on the floor, a small instrument between his lips. The tune resembles oddly the shrill call of a bird, and I can't help but stare. He doesn't notice me at first, until I move and the sheets rustle. His gaze flutters to me, his face turns red and he stuffs the flute in a pouch at his side before getting up and leaving the room, shutting the door between us. I sigh. If this is the reaction I can expect every time I look at them, I can sense that it's going to be very hard making friends. I swing my legs over the ledge of the bed, wincing as my feet come in contact with the cold marble floor. There's another dress folded on a small chest at the foot of the bed, but I pay no mind to it. Instead I open the chest and stick my hand in it, searching for my whip. My fingers meeting only wood, my searching becomes frenzied. I was sure the women left my shirt and sash in there along with my whip after they forced me to change. I peek inside. The red embroidered shirt from Shara is still there, neatly folded, but my whip isn't there with the rest. I growl, shocked. They must have taken it last night, when they took away my clothes to clean them. So they think they can just take my things because I'm a stranger? You wait until I get my hands on them…

I march towards the door, fuming. It won't slide open, probably blocked by something, so I knock on it. I hear a voice on the other side.

"Just open the door," I say, trying to force it open myself. It finally slides a crack, and I see the boy peek inside the room. I cross my arms.

"Where is it?" I ask. I don't care that he can't understand. He frowns, looking confused. I walk to the chest, throw it open and point inside it. "Where is it?" I repeat, livid. He seems to understand and mumbles something, before trying to close the door between us again. I run and stop him just before the door locks.

"No," I say, shaking my head. "I want it back," I demand, pointing at the chest again. He shakes his head and repeats the same thing. I notice that I seem to intimidate him, and he still won't look me in the eyes. I grit my teeth.

"You think you can just take my stuff away, is that it? What, you think I'm going to try to attack you? I have nowhere else to go, dammit! I don't even know why you want to keep me here so much! If it was for me, I'd have stayed in the forest and eaten wild berries, but you guys had to start waving your swords in my face and got me into this mess! Godammit, I just want someone to be HERE!" The door slips from my fingers and closes shut, locking me inside. I muffle a scream of frustration and hurl myself onto the bed, enraged. Tears start pouring from my eyes. I wipe them away with my sleeve, glad that no one is here to witness this. I can't be crying for something stupid like this, godammit, that's just ridiculous. But this was the last realization I had to make to appreciate the gravity of my situation; I am completely at their mercy. Trapped. The window offers nothing but a long drop and a sudden crash, and I'm not driven to that extreme yet. But there's very little else I can do. My last scream was the truth; I just want something familiar, something that I know, and they have taken the last of it.

XxX

The rest of the day is eventless. I spend it huddled on the bed, hugging my legs to my chest and looking out the window. I take a few bites of the breakfast plate left in the room, and then some more at midday. There's a bird outside that always sings the same note, obsessively, for hours on end. I try to send my consciousness outside my body several times, but magic remains frustratingly deaf to my commands. When the sun starts to set I see a large commotion outside, as the troops seem to mobilize in the courtyard. They leave and don't come back for hours, bloody and tired. I wonder where they go, if it's the same place as last night and how they get there. A few minutes later someone comes to fetch me like yesterday, but I refuse to come and don't eat supper. I fall asleep in a sitting position, leaning against the head of the bed. The bird is still singing when I do.

XxX

I stuff a small fruit in my mouth, then grimace at the sour taste. Nothing has happened today either. I haven't bothered changing out of my nightgown yet, and suspect that I'll be due for a bath tonight. For now, I don't want to.

I shoot a glance to the boy at the door, standing on guard like he's protecting a state secret. He left the door open today, which is either to trick me into attempting an escape, or because he's starting to feel a little more comfortable with me. I hope it's the later. I wonder if he stands there all the time, or if someone else comes to guard me during the night. I know there's another guard down the hall, but I haven't seen him much. I wonder if someone will come and take his place today, or tomorrow maybe. For some odd reason, I wish he stays.

Inaction is stifling me, forcing me to think about alternatives that I don't want to consider. I still can't understand a word of the hiccups of conversation I hear, and haven't been invited out. If this continues, I'll go crazy.

"_Haiyo_," I hear, and dismiss the word, sure it can't be addressed to me. But when it is repeated again and I look up to see the boy staring intently at me, I'm puzzled.

"Um… Hi?" I say, hesitant. He still can't hold my gaze for more than a few seconds, but at least there's some eye contact going on. He tries to smile awkwardly, bringing a hand to his chest.

"_Henrik_," he says. I point to myself.

"Aisha," I answer. He nods. It is all we say for now, but I can't help but feel that it's plenty enough.

XxX

I'm pretty sure Ashura-ou is a man. Something in his demeanour is just too masculine to ignore.

XxX

Fourth day. Henrik and I can understand each other pretty well using a mixture of hand gestures and onomatopoeias. I haven't seen anyone else since my first night here, and his presence has become reassuring. But even with our bouts of what can barely be considered conversation, I am left with way too much time to think. I want to search for the others; waiting like this is torture. Walking up to Henrik, who doesn't close the door anymore, I tap him on the shoulder. He turns around with a yelp, and I laugh at his puzzled face.

"I want to go outside," I say, pointing at myself, then mimicking someone walking away and pointing out the window. Henrik seems truly sorry when he shakes his head, answering something I don't understand. But the answer itself is clear: I am not allowed to leave this room. I sigh, biting my thumb thoughtfully. There seems to be nothing I can do to leave this place. I march around the room, searching for something to burn my energy. All this time would be much better spent looking for the others, for Mokona. My thoughts have been too much to ignore lately. Maybe if I'm actually doing something about it… but I'm not like Kurogane. I have no weapon, and I can't expect myself to fight my way out of here alone. Even if I do make it, it's always the same argument: where do I go? I stop suddenly, dead in my tracks. I'm not Kurogane… my gaze turns to the bare wall in front of me, unexpectedly inviting. I may not be the ninja, but I can use his technique for focusing. Facing the wall, I let my stance deepen. Breathing in and out evenly, the first fist shoots towards the hard surface and hits. I wince, and try again. This time, I stop a few millimetres away from the wall, and smile satisfactorily. As Henrik watches curiously, I punch again and again, and with every breath I let out, with every fist that nearly hits target, a little bit of my thoughts and frustration melts from my mind.

XxX

"Hummm… that," I say, pointing at the ceiling. "Ceiling."

"_Garvats_," Henrik answers, then points at the lamp. "_Ravi_." It's a game we've started playing out of boredom – one of us points to an object and says its name in his or her language, and the other names it in theirs. It helps pass the time, and so far I've learned about two dozen words in Henrik's language. I think he doesn't hate learning mine either, if only because it seems more appealing than standing at my door all day, doing nothing. I still haven't figured out when the poor boy sleeps – he's there when I wake up in he morning, when I fall asleep after midnight, even when I open my eyes after a nightmare. I wonder if they think the wooden door is enough to hold me when he slumps against the wall, snoring, or if it's a dare for me to attempt an escape. It wouldn't surprise me if Boomerang would be simply waiting for the simplest excuse to do with me what he wanted to do in the first place. I'm not sure what that is, but judging by his expression when Ashura-ou ordered to bring me here, it can't be anything similar to this. I wonder if he simply would have left me in the forest, but I doubt it – they seemed to treat me as a threat even back there, not something to be let free. Even now, only Henrik makes eye contact with me, and only for short, timid glances. His eyes are grey, but much lighter than mine.

"Bed," I answer, then point to his weapon. "Spear."

"_Cazenhel_." When he sees me studying him, his eyes drop to the ground nervously and he passes a hand through his hair. I can't help but wonder what a boy like this is doing wearing a uniform and holding a weapon. I'm not saying he's not skilled, only that he seems incredibly shy to be a soldier. Maybe that's why he's on guard duty, although I fleetingly wonder if I should consider so little precaution as an insult. As though he had read my mind, Henrik looks up with a serious, somewhat offended gaze and I laugh. He frowns, puzzled, then mutters something to himself while shaking his head and shrugging, fatalist. I laugh louder, patting his shoulder.

"That's right, you're too cute to be a threat. That's okay though, you're sweet," I say. He's only eighteen, one year older than me. I find it easier to relate to him that way. I don't know what he does when he's not guarding people, but he doesn't seem to mind it that much. I don't blame him anymore for keeping me in here. After all, he's just following orders. Henrik isn't the kind of guy to rebel impulsively for a girl he barely knows. He's a good kid. I can't hate him for that.

"_Hiel e binat_," he sighs hopelessly, looking at me, then shaking his head. I laugh, although I don't know at what.

XxX

"_Dande e?_" I hear a voice ask, and Henrik answering. No trace of the boy's usual timidity is evident in his tone, so this must be someone he knows. I edge closer to the doorway, peering through it curiously. Raken walks in the room, smiling.

"_Haiyo_," he greets me warmly, then looks around the room with an impressed whistle. He starts to say something, then seems to remember I don't understand and stops, looking at me sheepishly. I stand in front of him and rest my fists on my hips.

"Where were you?" I ask, reproachful. His green eyes grow puzzled as he looks at me. He turns to Henrik, asks something. The boy answers, looking at me. He's been able to read me pretty well these past few days, as we've been cooped in the same room. Now his gaze his worried, studying my posture and fiery glare. He knows Raken was the one who convinced Ashura-ou to let me free – ironic as the word seems now. He also knows I haven't seen him since. He explains something to Raken, who scratches his head uneasily and grimaces. I still glare. I know he must have meant well, but it's still his fault I'm stuck here, and he didn't even have the decency to check on me before now.

"_Purden_," he says guiltily, looking at me with sad eyes. I assume he's asking for forgiveness, and I sigh.

"Fine," I say, rolling my eyes and offering him my hand. He stares at it, brows knit. Henrik laughs, explaining the mechanism of this gesture apparently unknown to them. Raken laughs with him, shaking my hand warmly. I smile, a little. He stays for a while to talk, although most of what we say has to pass by Henrik, who has become my interpret. We laugh at misunderstandings, Raken teases me about the colour of my hair and I reply by punching him on the shoulder. He seems young, in his early twenties maybe. But it soon becomes obvious that he can't stay long, and he leaves after speaking to Henrik alone for a few minutes. I can't help but notice the similar tilts of their heads when they listen to someone speak, and the same sparkle that flashes through their eyes when they laugh. Maybe they're related somehow. But Raken leaves, and when he does nothing has changed. I'm still trapped here, unable to search for Mokona. I had always planned to forgive him for forgetting about me, and I suppose if he hadn't intervened I may have been worst off. But I guess a part of me had hoped that his appearance would make it all better, that it would somehow close the loop and change things. But it hasn't. So I sink into a wide stance and punch at the wall again.

XxX

Another day passes by, monotone. The soldiers assemble, depart, come back. Someone comes to fetch me, like always, to join the banquet. I plan to refuse again, but when the woman bows politely and leaves, Henrik urges me on.

"Meh," I reply, unconvinced. If I don't show up, they send food here, so I don't see how it would help me to participate in social events. He looks at me determinedly.

"_Hra_," he orders, pointing at the dress folded on the chest, which I haven't bothered to put on. "_Raken_," he explains. I lift my head up at the mention of his name. Does this mean Raken thinks I should go? Why would that help?

"Are you sure about this?" I ask, and my only answer is an insistent gaze.

"_Raken_," he repeats. I sigh, shaking my head and lifting my hands in a gesture of peace.

"Fine, I'm going," I say, defeated. "But on my terms." I head for the chest, but royally ignore the dress. The night blue creation is simply tossed onto the sheets, and I pull out the red silk top I wore in Shara from the depths of the wooden chest. It's a vibrant vermilion, a black butterfly embroidered in the back, interwoven with gold. It wraps in the front, and I fasten it with the wide sash Suzuran gave me. An orange, chiffon skirt left for me yesterday completes my outfit. My hair is too short to do much with it, but simply unfastening the complicated loops I haven't bothered to touch since Shara is enough to send it cascading down in free curls. I send my reflection a glance; I look fierce, wild and beautiful. My dark eyes hint at the greater power hiding within my body, unreachable yet present. I take a deep breath and let it hiss out before turning to Henrik. His wide eyes confirm my theory. The girl going out there tonight isn't Aisha; she looks like me, but there's something in her eyes that I've never seen inhabit mine. Something is growing in my chest, a wild animal tearing at my throat to escape. A bird.

"How do I look?" I try, twirling. Henrik shakes his head, bewildered. I nod. "Yeah, let's go," I agree, and Henrik follows me through the corridor. Another guard joins him, visibly there to enforce security. I am pleased to see he can barely take his eyes off me either. When we arrive at the banquet hall, I am both relieved and disappointed to see that the number of guests since the first time has substantially decreased. But even the servants stop talking and stare at me when I walk in. I barely acknowledge them. Their eyes locked on the butterfly fluttering in my back, they follow me to the pit at the centre. The skirt dances around my bare ankles at each of my steps, flowing behind me like a gown. Like wings. Inside me, the bird trills satisfactorily. Ashura-ou doesn't seem to have arrived yet, and nobody is seated. I remember my first night here; nobody then seemed to be sitting before the king either. I see Raken emerge from behind a group of people. His eyes twinkle when he sees me. I smirk enigmatically, and he nods, as though agreeing with my initiative. Henrik still seems puzzled, but follows us diligently. Raken approaches me, offering his hand. Any other time it would have been refused, but I graciously accept it as he helps me down the step. I sit, the skirt billowing gracefully around me, and the whispers around me indicate that I shouldn't have done so before Ashura-ou arrives. Even Raken seems stunned, his eyes wide. As for Henrik, he seems downright scandalized. The bird tries its wings, eager for flight. Boomerang, who had been bitter when I entered and even more when Raken approached me, now seems on the verge of resorting to violence. He is stopped, however, by Ashura-ou's entrance. Only then do I notice how silent the room was, and wordlessly congratulate myself. The king's first reaction when he sees me is one of surprise, and then he breaks into a smile. His direct eye contact startles me, so rare it has been these past few days. I smile back, a tiny grin, but in no way timid. His eyes only barely skim over my top, but I can swear I see his smile grow brighter, as though internally laughing. I marvel once again at the perfect alignment of his features, woman and man equally represented, and I wonder if perhaps I am wrong to call him a man. When he sits, everyone imitates him, sending covered glances my way. Raken takes his place beside me, while Henrik and his comrade retreat to a corner of the room. Plates are brought in, and this time I don't wait to be called upon to eat. No one addresses me, but I can see the fleeting glances and hear the hushed conversations that follow. I smile. Wings flapping, the bird shuffles nervously. The cool breeze hitting my face brings me fragrances of jasmine and violets, and the moon shines brightly like a pearl someone would have accidentally dropped on a black velvet cloth. Bathing in its cool light, it is needless to say that I make quite an impression. Boomerang has hardly been able to keep his eyes off me throughout, probably seeing with a disapproving eye what everyone but Raken and Ashura-ou have doubtlessly seen as rebellion. At least my point has gotten across, something that I am pleased about. Only when I catch the envious glare sent my way by a servant do I truly realize the extent of my actions. I've gone against what is probably one of the fundamental laws of this palace by taking my place before the king, and I haven't been called on it. My outfit is ridiculously simple compared to Ashura-ou's ornate garb, but it is the way I carry myself, the dark spark in my eye that makes people stare. The clothes I wear are beautiful, but it is what they represent that matters. _I am not your puppet. You don't own me. You can't change me. _In the lamplight, I am a proud, fiery queen to Ashura's king. I can see that now.

The bird soars.

I don't linger when the meal ends. Without another word, I stand and take my leave with a small bow of the head. I refrain an urge to rush into the gardens, wild and free, but the presence of both guards forbids it and I force myself into the entrails of the house. The whispers continue as I step out. The second guard leaves us at the door of my room. Henrik stays, still seeming puzzled at the girl I've become during the banquet. I smile reassuringly, stepping into my prison.

Suddenly, the chain around the bird's ankle tightens and it stops in mid-flight with a shriek. I fall to my knees, tears streaming down my face. No matter what happened to me tonight, what fleeting freedom I thought I was feeling, doesn't matter. I'm still trapped.

No matter how golden the cage, it isn't meant for a bird.

XxX

"_Little girl, little girl," the voice clucks disapprovingly. "You really have a gift for getting yourself in trouble, after all." I shiver uncontrollably. No. Not again. It seems to read my thoughts, and the voice becomes teasing._

"_Of course it's me. You thought you could outwit me with so cheap a trick? Only delay me, you empty soul. I don't give up that easily. Of course, you did give me a bit of work with that disappearing act of yours, but never have any doubt that I will find you." __Cold. __Icicles breaking on my skin, the voice continues. "You know, I can never seem to control myself when I see you like this, all grown up. It reminds me too much of my failure, you see. Because of my mistakes, here you are, still alive. It's incredibly frustrating, you little bastard of a witch. It's a shame I can't kill you here and now. But I promised myself I would wait, that I would catch all of your little friends and break you all before I kill you. Slowly. Painfully. A goal that needs a little more patience, I agree, but very attainable. And much more gratifying in the end." It laughs, menacing. "Then again, seeing your situation, I could always skip that step, don't you think? After all, I don't think you'll be having friends anytime soon." I shake my head, denying the words I hear. The voice becomes caress, whisper. "You don't think you'll ever find them, do you?" The idea seems laughable to it. "You poor, disgusting, pitiful excuse for an existence. You still have some hope left in you? Let me remedy to that." There's a cold hand on my neck, a breath near my ear. I start shaking. I can't escape, my body won't respond. "You will never see them again. None of them. Do you seriously think they'll bother searching for you? Do you?" The pressure on my neck gets tighter. "After all, it may just be for the best. I don't think you want to throw them into this, no matter how much I crave new souls to break." A murderous embrace keeps me from breathing. Before I black out, it stops and I gasp graciously. I can feel the voice's invisible lips smile. "You remember what'll happen to you, don't you?" I whimper feebly, the imprint of the hand still burning on my neck. There's a chuckle. "And don't you forget."_

XxX

The days go by, insipid. Ever since the banquet, I haven't appeared at any social events. My only company remains Henrik, although I am now allowed a walk in the gardens – or _kardahrel_, as they call it - from time to time. The fresh air helps forgetting, and I sometimes catch glimpses of Ashura-ou or Raken, who hasn't come to visit me again but always salutes me when we see each other. I sometimes see other people as well, but they do a good job at ignoring me completely. I return the favour.

When I'm not walking aimlessly between rosebushes and pear trees, I stay indoors. Although Henrik and I talk often, our conversations are often exhausting and frustratingly limited. When I feel ready to burst with refrained emotions, I usually turn to exercise. I'm getting better at avoiding the wall when I punch it, and like to add speed at each of my hits. I haven't forgotten what Kurogane told me – to work on my strength if I wanted to get anywhere. Push-ups, sit-ups and lunges are a part of my daily routine. Sometimes, when Henrik is bored of watching me exert myself, he'll pull out his knife and begin doing a series of fast movements to an invisible enemy. I often follow along, under his amused gaze. One day, he corrected my stance and since then has become my patient teacher. I'm horrible at it, I must admit; I can't seem to reach Henrik's effortlessly graceful rendition of the moves, which hover between dance and battle. But he shrugs, laughs at my mistakes and then shows me the proper way to do it. He even let me try it with his knife once, trusting me with the weapon. I couldn't help the thought of using it against him and escaping from entering my mind. But I wouldn't do that. I couldn't. As odd as it seems, he really trusts me and I couldn't betray that trust. So it seems that now I am a prisoner of my own conscience as well. But the physical exertion from all the exercise helps me forget about that.

Henrik still plays his flute, sometimes. He's very careful to only take it out when he thinks I'm asleep. Often I treat myself to an impromptu concert, eyes closed and unmoving, pretending to be lost in the land of dreams. It's better than the dreams I actually have; most of them are nightmares, where I run back and forth searching for something, only to find out I'm trapped in a cage. Most of the time the twins are waiting on the other side with Kento, Etsuko, Ren, Kaede and Shinju, waving and smiling, inviting me to follow them. Sometimes Mom is with them. Sometimes it isn't them at all; sometimes I am in Edonis, still trapped in that glass egg, trying to reach Fai while he stares at me with his blue eyes and fake smile. Other times the whole gang is standing there, and I watch as Mokona spreads his wings and sweeps them off to a new world, leaving me behind.

I've learned more of the language here; my repertoire has grown from about a dozen words to a good thirty, including some verbs. I can tell someone that I am thirsty, that the sky is blue and that his shirt is backwards. And I've finally discovered how the guard shifts work – turns out Henrik isn't the only one to watch over me after all, although he does most of it. A few hours every night someone comes to replace him - so he can sleep a bit an take a bath now and then, I suppose. Even though I know he does some sleeping even when he is on duty – can't really blame him for that. Those shifts are ridiculous.

I've asked Henrik if he and Raken are related. Actually, it was more like: point, grunt, point again, do a weird sign with your fingers and stick the word for "family" somewhere in there. He didn't seem to understand at all – I really don't know why…

Every night the army still assembles and departs for some sort of battle. The first time I tried to ask Henrik where they were going he offered me only a dumbstruck look, as though it's something I just have to know. The next time, though, he pointed to the moon and babbled something I didn't understand. With a second glance, I was able to discern some sort of castle floating in the sky, directly in the moon's shadow. When I pointed that to Henrik, he nodded in agreement. I came to the conclusion that they somehow magically transport themselves to that castle every night to fight their enemies, although for what I have no idea. When I asked Henrik why he never went – once again, using the point-grunt method – he only shook his head sadly and changed the subject.

I share my meals with Henrik, as much as he shakes his head and pushes it away. It isn't fair that he only gets bread and cheese to eat, while I'm overwhelmed with delicately perfumed foods. I got him to eat, at first, by pretending I hated the taste of these small, round vegetables they call caggels, but that I didn't want to offend the cook by sending them back. It was the only way he was going to take anything from me.

I still resent them for taking my whip. I miss the smooth leather, the way it would flex between my fingers and make me feel invincible. The first thing I do when I finally get out of here is to get it back. But I guess it's not healthy to think that way about an object.

I try to forget as much as I can, but some thoughts just can't seem to stop running through my head. Where are the others? Are they alright? Have they found each other? Or was I the only one to land alone? If so, are they looking for me? And if not, how long until I can start looking for them? Should I be? And what if they're not looking for me? Or what if we never find each other? Fai and Kurogane didn't land with us last time; did they even land in the same world this time around? How do we find them then? Or maybe I'm the one in a different world than everybody else? And then the final blow, which grips my throat and keeps me from breathing: What if Mokona never shows up and I'm stuck here forever? Then I'll never get home at all, no matter how much I try. Forgetting is easy during the day, where I can escape to Henrik's laughter; but at night, alone with my thoughts, it becomes an impossible task. And the weight of all the possibilities crushes me, to the point where I feel that crying is the only option.

XxX

Ashura-ou is a woman. No self-respecting male would gossip that way with the chambermaids.

XxX

It's been over a week, if I trust the coal marks I draw on the floor for each passing day. Eight days, to be exact. I try to keep hope, but it's getting harder and harder as time flies by and there is no sign of the others. When I am not outside, or training, I usually sit on the bed with my knees to my chest and look out the window. I have a grand view of the courtyard and a corner of the gardens, where the peach trees are. It would be beautiful, if it weren't so tempting. I hate it.

A bird flies to my window, chirping. The sudden addition of life makes me lift my head, bewildered. Novelty is so rare here, I treasure it about as much as I do freedom. I reach for it, but it flies away, leaving me jealous. I wish I could do that as well. I wish I could fly, past rivers and mountains and worlds and time, back to before this all started and I was home, in Hanshin. I would make up for so much, ignore the past, start a new leaf; I would never take anything there for granted anymore. I watch the bird's silhouette against the midday sky, and tears start pricking in my eyes. Like a goodbye, the bird's shrill call reaches me. Before I can realize it, my lips are forming syllables and my lungs are gushing out air, and the soft notes of my lullaby are ringing trough the silence. I offer my song in answer to his. It is strangely soothing to hear something familiar, something that I own as mine. Almost like my body is trying to lure my soul to sleep. Softly rising with my voice, a bird's call rings. But when I turn around I notice that it is not a bird; Henrik is sitting in the doorway, his spear across his legs, a tiny flute protruding from his lips. His eyes are closed, and he doesn't seem to notice me looking at him until my voice lowers to barely a whisper. Then he opens his eyes and looks at me, interrogating. His fingers still play with the instrument, summoning the clear notes of a songbird. Almost hesitantly, I continue singing. I can almost make out a smile lighting up his face through his deep, quick breaths. I see people gather in the courtyard, wondering where the music could be coming from; the guard down the hall comes to check it out as well, and several chambermaids wait at the door to hear this spontaneous concert. We don't care about them.

My song sounds different now, although it is the same notes I have sung countless times before. It still breathes of sun and wind and travel, but now speaks of them as though things of the past, beloved memories. The flute lends it almost an air of mysticism, its shrill voice mixing with my own, deeper tones. I sing until my throat is sore, and all the birds in the garden have ceased to chirp. Henrik accompanies me through it all, impassive, completely caught in his music. And despite all the people listening to us, I can't help but wish there was someone else listening as well.

XxX

"_Please, do not make me do this," Etsuko says, warily eyeing the dresses spread out on the bed. "We're not going to a wedding or anything."_

"_No, but a date is very important, especially if it's the first one," Kaede sings, twirling around while holding an old flowery dress to he body. Ren watches her, amusedly twirling a strand of her hair around her finger._

"_Yes, and besides, most of the impression people will get from you will be decided in the first twenty seconds of sight. So you're better off making a good one before it's too late."_

"_Oh, please. We're going to see a movie and stopping for ice cream," Etsuko protests, holding up a red satin number like it's covered in toxic slime. I chuckle._

"_Don't make fun of that dress, my mom wore it at her prom," I laugh at Etsuko's disgusted expression. "Yeah, so it's old. I like it."_

"_Then you wear it," she says, throwing it in my direction. I throw it back._

"_I'm not the one going on a date with Kyou, now am I?" I reply. Kaede dances by, still in her own little world._

"_Why are you making this such a big deal, anyways?" Etsuko pouts. "I could just wear jeans and a t-shirt." Ren shakes her head._

"_Come on. You're the first one of us to ever get a date, ever. So forgive us for having a little fun here." Etsuko is about to reply, when Kaede stops dancing and affirms out of the blue:_

"_Shinju's coming." And then she looks at herself in the mirror and twirls again. We exchange puzzled glances, but sure enough, there's a weak thud at the window. Ren opens it and in pours Shinju, dusting off his clothes from the rust of the old service staircase. _

"_Don't tell me you actually used the stairs," I say teasingly, to which he replies with an annoyed glance._

"_Not everyone can climb around town like a circus freak," he retorts, before handing Ren a small package and turning away. But his little sideways smile tells me that he's teasing, too._

"_Ooh, do you have it?" Kaede asks, still dancing with herself. Shinju rolls his eyes._

"_Stop twirling like that, you're making me dizzy," he replies without answering. She obeys, looking at him eerily with her too-big eyes that see everything._

"_It's nice to see you too," she says with a smile. He smiles back, eyeing the dress. He then bows ceremoniously, offering her his hand._

"_Might I say you look ravishing tonight, milady," he affirms in an exaggerated baritone, and she laughs and takes his hand._

"_This old thing? Why, I only wear it when I don't know what else to wear!" Me and Etsuko share a knowing glance. If Shinju liked girls, he and Kaede would be an item._

"_Mmmh… oh, that is pretty!" Ren exclaims over the green strapless frock contained in Shinju's package. "Where did you find that?" The boy shrugs._

"_It belonged to my mom. My sister altered it a little for herself, but never wore it. So, it could either pick up dust in an old closet until the end of times, or Etsuko-chan could wear it on her date."_

"_I knew she'd love it," Kaede says simply, looking at Etsuko with a knowing smile. Etsuko seems ready to grasp the garment with both hands, and is eyeing it like it's a piece of delicious candy. She bites her lip, seeing us all notice, and then shrugs._

"_Well, I can change my mind, okay?" she exclaims, taking the dress from Ren's hands. We all laugh. The dress is casual yet cute, with little polka dots all over the bodice. Shinju's sister's alterations have kept it from sinking to grandma-wear level. _

"_Okay," I say, clapping my hands together. "Now that the dress is out of the way, let's worry about hair and makeup. That's our stuff, right Ren-chan?" In truth, neither Ren nor I wear makeup at all, and our idea of a hairdo is a messy bun held together by bobby pins. Everyone catches the joke, and Shinju even slaps Ren on the back with hilarity. _

_Kaede lifts up her hand. "Yes, but first, she has to make sure it fits," she declares. I nod in agreement. Etsuko looks at us nervously, mouthing the word "here?"_

"_Ah, don't worry," Ren jokes. "We're all girls here." Shinju turns red, and looks down at his fists. I laugh, teasing. We all know Shinju's gay, but he remains incredibly immune to the usual stereotype – he's not what some people call an 'honorary girl', and probably never will be. _

"_I'll leave," he offers, heading for the window. Etsuko stops him._

"_Go out the front door, at least!" she tells him. He looks at her amusingly. _

"_Yeah, so then my mom knows I've been to see my juvenile delinquent friends? She has spies everywhere, I tell you. Do you think she knows I lent you that dress? She would burn it." He shudders. "That woman is crazy sometimes."_

"_Sometimes?" Kaede laughs. "Have you met her?"_

"_Try not to," he admits. Ren chips in. _

"_Actually, temporary insanity is impossible, unless of course it's bipolarity, in which case the half of the personality that appears sane is only a cover-up for an underlyi-"_

"_Please, shut up," we say as one, turning to her with blank gazes. "You make us feel stupid," Shinju adds, and Ren smiles. Etsuko looks at us all, spread out in her bedroom like we live here, and sighs._

"_Okay," she says. "I probably have the weirdest friends in existence." We laugh._

"_Of course you do," I say. "And we're not leaving anytime soon, so you better get used to it." _

XxX

I've changer my mind. Ashura-ou is most definitely a man.

XxX

One day, as I am taking a walk in the gardens with Henrik, we pass by a cluster of soldiers. This isn't unusual in itself, because there's always a few of such groups wandering around the grounds, either guarding the premises or relaxing after the night's battle. I go to pass them without a second glance, like I usually do. I figure that if they won't notice my existence, I have no reason to notice them. I am about to duck behind a bush to reach a shady little nook I have claimed as mine, when a harsh call reaches my ears. I ignore it at first, thinking that it must be directed at someone else. Henrik answers something to the voice, which replies, and I glance behind my shoulder to see the cause of all this commotion. A soldier is glaring ferociously at me, a hand on the knife at his belt and the other beckoning me forward. The others don't seem nearly as threatening, but all of them look at me with the same mix of disgust and hate. I frown; even if I've been looked at a thousand different ways since I've been here, no one has ever been openly hostile to me. Seeing me respond, the soldier smiles sardonically and says something to his comrades, who laugh rudely. I look at Henrik, confused. He seems angry, and calls out a warning to the man in front of us. The soldiers laugh, pointing at him and cowering sarcastically behind one another while screeching in high voices, pretending to be afraid of him. I see Henrik's face flush with rage, but he only lets his gaze drop to his feet and mutters something. They hear it, and begin laughing at that as well. I step forward.

"Hey," I call, imitating the leader's harsh tone. "I thought it was me this was about? Leave him alone." The laughs get louder as I evidently get mocked. But the one who has called me earlier seems furious, and once again strokes the hilt of his knife with a dangerous look. Before I can react, he has closed the distance between us and slaps me violently.

"_Hiel ose parar a hien? __Pri-ya a Yasha!_" he screams, as I clasp a hand on my stinging cheek. I hear more than see Henrik push the group back with his spear, yelling out a warning. I look up, all my hate and frustration pouring through my eyes. The soldier is looking down at me, a sardonic smile deforming his features. I bite my lip.

"Bastard," I say, and kick him squarely in the stomach, so hard that he falls back against his companions. I then run, trying to hide the tears swelling in my eyes. There is no more laughter behind me, only angry growls and surprised exclamations. Henrik runs after me, calling out my name. I don't stop. I've forgotten how it feels to run. It feels good, better than exerting myself with push-ups and sit-ups all day. But I know I'll have to stop one day. The garden is surrounded by a high wall, behind which there is only more soldiers and more fighting, and if one of them does pull out a blade on me, I don't know what I'll do. In the meantime, I just make sure I stay a fair distance ahead of Henrik, half-hoping he'll give up the chase. He doesn't. When I finally let him catch up to me, I'm sitting on the edge of a fountain, both feet plunged in the cold water and glaring ferociously at my reflection and the delicate bruise blooming on the side of my face. With a breathless sigh, he lets himself drop next to me.

"_Hiel da?_" he asks - 'Are you okay?'

"_Oi_," I answer – 'Yes.' But I can tell he isn't convinced. I want to ask him why they were laughing at him back there, but I can't find the words. So we just sit there, looking at the vibrant blue of the fountain sprouting before us. Henrik takes off his boots and slips his feet in the water beside mine, only to wince at the cold contact. I chuckle and he laughs, but the air is thick with what has been said and done back there – as much what I already understood as what he won't tell me.

That soldier complained that I attacked him without provocation, and his buddies backed him up. Henrik argued that I had received the first blow, but it was useless – the next morning, the bruise on my cheek had vanished, as though by magic, leaving no proof.

XxX

I had hoped that maybe the bruise's disappearance would mean the reappearance of my sensibility to magic, but the next day crushed my hopes. All my attempts at feeling the slightest magic failed, even at night when I was sure the troupes transported themselves to the castle in the sky. I still can't understand a word Henrik is saying. I'm starting to lose hope altogether.

XxX

Up.

Down.

Up.

Down.

Up.

Down.

Up.

Down.

Up.

I steal a glance of myself in the mirror. My hair and shirt are soaked with sweat, and my eyes look like two black holes eating up my face. My stomach muscles scream in pain. I've barely eaten in days. Is this what it is to be depressed? Almost two weeks, that's how long I've been here. Twelve days. Almost as long as I've been travelling with the others. I think my despair is beginning to show; the maid who brings my meals can barely conceal her fear every time she looks at me, and Henrik seems genuinely worried. He's there now, staring at me and frowning in disapproval as I finish my sit-up round. I don't bother to hide the truth and offer him a smile; he knows it would be fake. And now I begin to think again, so I let myself fall back and start over.

Down.

Up.

Down.

Up.

Down.

XxX

It's been thirteen days, and I'm comatose. My legs barely respond anymore, breathing hurts; I can't lift my arm past my shoulder. The only thing I did today was to roll out of bed, and I've been curled up against the wall ever since. My body is too exhausted to keep up the insane rhythm I've forced it to follow for the past days. And now that my body doesn't work anymore, my mind has come back with a vengeance. Slowly but surely, this world is breaking me.

I can hear Henrik walking up to me, but I don't lift my head to look at him. I see his boots stop in front of me, and his face enters my field of vision. He gently grabs one of my hands, lifts it between us; he looks disapprovingly at the small cuts and bruises spread on it like small rubies and sapphires. Sometimes my fists don't stop in time to avoid the walls. I'm not careful; I know my wounds will heal with time. I may be hoping for my magic to be triggered into healing me again, I'm not sure. I shrug, then grimace at the violent reproach from my shoulders. He looks worried; his grey eyes look like the storm clouds hovering above the earth, waiting for the rain. I understand that he expects me to cry, but I don't even have the strength to do that anymore. He sigh, shakes his head.

"_Binat_," he says sadly, looking at my hand. That word I've learned pretty fast – it means 'idiot'. There's a slightly more refined version, '_kentobinat_' – Boomerang calls me that, when we have the ill-luck of crossing each other's path. But that hasn't happened much, especially not since I've been banned from leaving this room after that soldier slapped me and I kicked him. I guess I'm lucky Raken interceded for me, because it could have been much worst.

Henrik studies my face. Authoritative, he points to the bed. "_Kal-hel._" I think of ignoring him, but his eyes leave me no choice.

"Bed," I say tiredly, wrenching my neck to look at the object in question. Henrik's finger points to something else.

"_Ravi_."

"Lamp," I concede, my voice like a rusted door.

"_Kegarra._"

"Table." Henrik is right; I needed to hear my voice, to convince myself that there is still something sane and normal and familiar with this place. Continuing our little game of pointing and naming, he begins to flex my wrist, then my elbow, my shoulder, coaxing my weary muscles to action. I know I should be doing that on my own, to keep my muscles from locking up; a warm bath in the adjacent room would have been a good idea, but I don't feel up to the crawl I need to do to get there. I pull back and try to move on my own, only to fail at lifting my arm by myself. Henrik shakes his head, and begins to wheedle my other arm to life. I feel a little awkward at his care. I was always the caregiver. But I have to admit that it feels… nice, to have someone treat me, for a change. My mood begins to lighten, and I start thinking that maybe I could get used to this. I smile at my own idea.

Henrik points at me. "Aisha," I say, my voice now less hoarse. He shakes his head, as though telling me I have the wrong answer. I frown.

"_Binat_," he corrects me, scolding, looking absolutely serious, and I can't help the laughter from bubbling up to my lips. He bursts too, and we sit there like idiots, laughing until tears start pooling in my eyes. But then Henrik's face goes blank, and he stares at a point beside us with growing terror. I crane my neck to see, and the last notes of hilarity die before they reach my mouth; standing in the doorway, nostrils flaring in fury, Boomerang glares at us with undisguised repulsion. We don't say a word and neither does he. It only lasts a second and he's gone, but when Henrik and I turn to face each other, we both know we are in deep trouble.

When the general comes back, Henrik is stiffly standing guard at the door and I am huddled against the far wall, looking out the window. No trace of our previous companionship remains. But we both know it's not going to be enough.

When I wake up the next morning, another guard is standing in Henrik's place.

XxX

When I was little, I remember running to my mother's bed one night, crying. She took me in her arms, huddled tight, and rocked me back and forth soothingly until I could tell her what had scared me so much. I told her my nightmare, the cold, the pain and the darkness, the snow rushing past me, the snow that wasn't white. With the years I learnt to ignore that dream, but that was the first time it had haunted me. My mother dried my tears, humming a lullaby and pressing me to her like she never wanted to let go.

"It's okay," I remember her saying. "It was just a dream-nightmare, just a dream. It wasn't a real nightmare, sweetie. You're safe now." I remember clinging to her desperately, refusing to close my eyes. When I did, the snow still twirled behind my eyelids, and I could almost smell the blood.

"What's a real nightmare, Mama?" I asked, trying to delay the inevitable return to sleep. To me, my dreams were real enough to be nightmares. My mother's arms grew firm, and she buried her face in my hair. We stayed like this a long time.

"A real nightmare," she finally said, "is when you wake up and no one's there to hold you."

I think of that now, huddled against myself. I was only a child then, too young to understand the reality of her words. To me, there would always be my mother, ready to welcome me with open arms when things went wrong. I had to learn my lesson pretty quickly. I think about Hanshin as well: how much time has passed there? Are the twins okay? Did Mom get drunk yet? Are they taking care of each other? And how are things at school? Did Shinju pass that math exam he was so nervous about? Did someone take over my jobs? How is everyone doing? So many things could have happened in the month that I was gone, and so much more depending on how much time has flowed back there. I feel tears prick at my eyes, and stop thinking.

If I trust my mother's words, I've never lived a real nightmare until now.

XxX

Apathy. It seems to be what I've been reduced to since Henrik's gone. I haven't seen Raken in days. The new guard keeps the door closed most of the time, so there's no chance of interaction there. For the first time since my first night here, I realize, I'm left completely alone. I spend my time looking out the window, at the courtyard below with its hustle and bustle of daily life. I resent these people, the birds singing in the gardens, if only for the freedom they represent and that I am deprived of. I wish I were able to leave and search for the others; this whole maiden in distress thing is getting to me. I can't consider what will happen if Mokona never shows up. I can't think about never going home, and yet the perspective is getting more ominous every minute. I know it's only been two weeks, that there's still plenty of time until I have to give up hope; but my heart has already given in to what my mind still fights.

Forcing my strained muscles to move, I sink into the slow gestures Henrik taught me. I make mistakes, my tired legs fail and I trip, but I push on until it's over. I try it again, a little faster. I pretend I hold a knife in my hand, that I'm using it to slice through invisible enemies. I strike with deadly accuracy, until my body can take no more and crumbles. With a sigh, I try to evacuate the tension I feel, but I know it'll take more than that. If they don't let me out tomorrow, I decide, I'm taking matters into my own hands. So far my main concern was failure, and the perspective of being left with nowhere to go should I succeed. But if I don't do anything soon, I won't be going anywhere at all, and that's a bigger problem. I surprise myself by wondering where the others are now. I wonder if they're okay, what they're doing, if they're thinking all these things about me. If they even care enough to do so.

I immerse myself into Henrik's moves several times, trying not to wonder what happened to him. I got better, I notice; he'd be pleased with me. But I can't help but think that he might have been punished for this, although we didn't do anything wrong. I wish nothing happened to him. I don't even know why Boomerang hates me so much. Okay, so I hit a few of his men who were trying to catch me. It doesn't excuse his blatant hatred towards me. I wonder what that word, _Yasha_, means; I heard it all the time when soldiers talked about me. I asked Henrik, but he couldn't explain. Just like he still hasn't told me exactly what happened in the garden, and why he never fights with the others.

I hit my knee against the bed and whimper. Outside, the songbirds have left their places to the nightingales. The troupes must be coming back soon, if they're not already back. I don't know why, but suddenly I can't take it anymore; I start shaking like a leaf, my lips pressing hard against one another to keep from crying. I sink to the ground, hugging my legs and burying my face between my knees. I bite my thumb to muffle a tearless sob. God, I just want someone to be here. Every time I think I have a grip on something, it just disappears. Kento, Ren, Mom, Syaoran, Sakura, Fai, Kurogane, Mokona, Raken, Henrik… Do you miss me as much as I miss you?

The apathy is gone, but I wish it wasn't.

"Nah, don't bother. She's been locked in there all day, hasn't made a sound. I doubt she'll want to come out now," I hear a voice on the other side of the door. I recognize the voice of the new guard, but it's the words that startle me. Picking myself up off the floor, I run to the door and try to open it. It's locked.

"Whoa there, calm down! There's no fire," I hear the guard call, sounding frustrated. But I don't care. It's been twice, so it can't be my imagination. I hold on to these simple words like a flower to sunshine, my first ray of hope. My fingers fumble with the sliding panel, trying to pry it open.

"Let me out!" I yell. I can almost hear the guard's surprised breath. So long that it hurts, I wait until he finally slides the door open. His eyes are wide in astonishment, probably bigger than mine. We stare at each other for a second, like two children suddenly discovering speech, and then he opens his mouth.

"You…" he says hesitantly, but I don't listen to him. My legs have already begun to move on their own, and I push him aside as I fly down the hall like a sparrow.

"MOKONA!"

But I can scream louder than any bird.


	27. Baptism of Fire

Yay for new chapters in which I DON'T OWN TRC!

So much for a short chapter, hihi….

"MOKONA!"

I swerve past the guard in the hallway and rush through the palace, screaming. The sounds escaping my mouth are desperate, daring the world to deceive me.

"SAKURA! SYAORAN! FAI!"

Peering into every room, I run aimlessly; the sound of my bare feet resonates against the marble. I pass servants and guards but ignore them all, absorbed in my task. They all look at me like I'm crazy, and maybe I am. But I don't care.

"KURO-SAMA! SYAORAN!"

The only paths in this palace I know are the ones leading to the banquet hall and the gardens. So it's only normal that I soon recognize the hallway leading to the deck. I follow it.

"MOKONA!"

I burst onto the familiar hall, where I have been only twice before. But I know the sounds of water and the scents of the wind in this pavilion, and something there is different. Perfectly different.

At first I am dumbstruck, and my feet remain stuck to the floor where I stopped. Their eyes look up to me. At first surprise, then relief floods their faces. I can't seem to move. And then I dash forward, ignoring Ashura-ou and his servants, leaping into the pit and jumping on them with a laugh of mixed liberation and hysteria.

"Sakura! Syaoran-kun!" I exclaim, hugging them fiercely. I raise my head to look at them, and I can't help myself. With a puzzled voice, I say: "Syaoran-chan? What are you doing here?" The boy blushes violently.

"I'm not a girl," he says simply. I laugh, tugging on his braid.

"Sure you're not. You just had fun letting your hair grow when I was away, that's all," I say, and Sakura giggles. A white bun jumps into my field of vision.

"Syaoran is very popular with girls! And Mokona likes the alcohol here! Aisha should try it!" I grab the fur-ball.

"A 'hello' would be nice," I inform Mokona, shaking him. He yelps playfully. "And that's for not being able to drop us off all at the same place. Kuro-sama's not here, so I'm taking over the disciplinary actions."

"Owie! Aisha's mean!" he whines, then laughs oddly. I hold him up.

"Are you drunk?"

"I'm so glad we found you! We were afraid you had landed very far away…" Sakura says.

"Damn, you have no idea how happy _I_ am to find you guys!" I laugh.

"Mokona knows, Mokona knows!" I eye the fur-ball sceptically, then turn back to the others.

"You didn't change a bit," I realize, surprised. They're still wearing the very same clothes they had in Shara, wig and all. Sakura smiles, taking me in.

"And you changed a lot," she says, seeming equally surprised. I look down at myself; a long, blue dress has replaced the harem pants, but other than that I don't think I've changed that much. I look to all three of them in turn.

"Where were you?" I ask, a little bitter. I don't mean to be, but I'm jealous of how they stayed together while I was left alone. They look at me curiously.

"We were… well, we landed in this battlefield," Syaoran starts explaining, pointing out to the moon outside. "It's up there, in this castle floating in the sky." I nod; I already know this. "Apparently the soldiers here get transported up there every night, for as long as the moon rises; when it reaches its zenith, they are sent back here, to the country of Shura." I nod again, fleetingly wondering how we managed to miss each other if we both landed at the same place. He soon answers my question. "The soldiers found us, and they brought us here, to Ashura castle. Where did you land, Aisha-san?" he concludes, cocking his head to the side. I feel my breath catch in my throat as I realize the meaning of his words.

"You mean…" I say, struggling with the thought, "that you three… just got here? From Shara? There wasn't anything in between? Are you sure?" They all look at me oddly. Sakura even seems a bit worried.

"Of course we did. Do you feel alright, Aisha? You look a bit feverish." I shake my head, bewildered.

"I've been here for two weeks," I say. My words are like a bomb; the room grows completely silent, and Sakura's eyes are wide.

"Two…?" she asks, and I nod. We look at each other for a few seconds, then all turn to Mokona as one. The fur-ball shrugs.

"It can happen," he admits. "If people don't travel together, they can land in different times as well. That's because you travel through time-space, and not only space."

"How different?" I ask. "How long can the time difference be?"

"Not long," he assures me. My eyes narrow.

"That's the same thing you said when I asked you about space," I say.

"And it's true for time as well," he says. I sigh.

"Fine." Sakura reaches for me and takes my hand.

"Aisha, that's horrible!" she says softly, eyes wet. "You were all alone for two weeks? Oh, that must have been awful! I'm so sorry!"

"Naw, don't apologize," I say, shrugging. "It wasn't your fault."

"But still! I can't imagine being on my own for two weeks. You poor thing, you were probably worried we would never come."

"I… well… no, I knew you would show up," I affirm confidently. Sakura's frown relaxes. I smile.

"Are you guys okay, though?" I ask, suddenly worried. "If you landed in the battlefield, I mean…"

"We weren't hurt," Syaoran says reassuringly, covering Sakura with his eyes as though that alone could protect her.

"Good," I say, nodding.

"Well, I'm glad to see you've found your companions." I jump, turning to face Ashura-ou. He rests his head on his hands, leaning towards us. He's smiling. "And that we're finally able to understand each other." I frown.

"…sure. Thanks," I answer, unsure of the attitude I should take. Although I feel like the king's been on my side these past few weeks, he's still the one who ordered me confined. I don't know if he really is a friend or not. I look worriedly at Syaoran and Sakura, and then back at the king.

"Are you… I mean, they're not…" _You're not holding them prisoners too, are you? _I ask, mostly with my eyes. Also apparent is my determination not to let it happen. If he tries to pull that off, I don't care that I have no weapon, we are storming the palace. As though he can already see me trying, the king smiles.

"Don't worry, you will all be quite free of your movements," he reassures me, but I eye him suspiciously. He chuckles. "I promise." I look down, biting my lip. I'm torn between my desire to get answers and my reunion with Syaoran and Sakura. I decide to turn back to them.

"Could you guys wait here for a second? I… we… need to discuss something. In private." There is no way I'm dragging them into this without reason. They don't have to know what happened these past two weeks, and if I can help it, they never will.

Syaoran frowns, and sends me a puzzled glance. "Of course, if you need to talk," he says, hesitating. I nod and turn to the king. He stands.

"We won't be long," he assures the others. "Please, feel free to eat and drink to your liking until we return. I'm sure you have much to talk about amongst yourselves as well." I follow him towards another hallway, different from the one I know. As we leave, I notice Boomerang squatting in a corner of the room, as per usual. He seems to be struggling to cross his eyes so as to be glaring at both me and the kids at the same time.

"Wait!" I call, halting. "He's coming with us," I order, pointing imperiously at Boomerang.

"And why would I do that?" he barks back.

"Because I have a couple of things I'd like to tell you, too," I reply on the same tone. That, and I'm not leaving Sakura and Syaoran alone with him. No way.

"Kumara, come," Ashura-ou orders gently. "We do want to get this straitened out, don't we?" Boomerang – or Kumara, I don't care – grumbles unintelligibly and sends the kids a warning glare before following us. I smile reassuringly at them, and turn on my heels to disappear into an empty room. As I am the last one to enter I close the door behind me, careful not to slam it. I can feel Kumara's glare and Ashura-ou's curious glance, and bite my lip. I let the fury take a hold of me, just this once, until I start shaking all over and can't take it anymore.

"WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?" I cry, glaring at both of them. "What did I ever do to you, for you to just lock me up in a goddamned room somewhere and forget about me? What was going on in your heads, huh? Did you seriously think I was just going to sit there and take it forever? You are such goddamned idiots!" I've already spilled all my tears; all that is left is pure rage.

"We're the idiots? You're the one who thought you could outsmart us just by running in here on your own!" Kumara replies, his hand instinctively going to his belt.

"Outsmart you?" I howl, turning to him. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Stop pretending you don't know what I mean!" he yells.

"I'm not pretending anything!"

"We all know you're from the Yasha clan! What I want to know is what your mission is!"

"Are you slow or just stupid? I'm telling you that I have no idea what you're talking about! And what the hell is that Yasha clan?"

"Idiot! You've been acting like that ever since you came! You're lucky you weren't left in my care, because by now I would know the truth!"

"Kumara." The order is sharp and clear, and leaves no room for reply. We turn to the king, whose face is now sternly observing us. But he soon relaxes into a smile. "I'm sorry about that," he tells me, seeming sincere. "I can assure you that we hadn't forgotten about you at all, despite your assumption that we had. Things were just… complicated on our end, as well."

"I don't want excuses," I reply harshly. "I want answers." I glare at Kumara. "First off, I want to know what the hell he's been screaming at me for, and what that Yasha clan thing is." Ashura-ou chuckles.

"Ah, see, Kumara here has been under the impression that you came from a rival clan of ours, the Yasha clan. Of course it's been impossible to verify, but I've had to act in consequence."

"They're the ones you keep fighting every night?" I ask bluntly, which seems to surprise him.

"You're very observant," he finally comments. "Yes, we are at war with them. Many of my men are certain you are a spy."

"There's no doubt about it!" Kumara yells.

"You, shut up!" I reply. He becomes livid.

"You dare…" he says, taking a step towards me.

"Yes I dare, goddamnit, and don't force me to fight back because I will hurt you," I promise.

"Please," Ashura-ou stops us, just as Kumara was about to unsheathe his knife. "We don't want anyone getting hurt. Besides, it seems things have become quite simple now that we can understand each other." He turns to me.

"Are you, or are you not, a Yasha spy?"

"I am not," I answer. The king claps his hands together once, seeming satisfied.

"Well, that settles it then," he says. "You are now one of our guests, at the same title as your companions." Both me and Kumara stare at him, bewildered at his quick decision. And I who expected I'd need to put up a fight!

"Ashura-ou, you can't do this!" Kumara protests. "She must be a spy, all of them, why else would they be…"

"You know, there is such a thing as getting lost," I interrupt him. "Unless your battle-dulled brain has become unable to consider the most obvious possibilities."

"You…!"

"Yes, me. Anyways," I turn to Ashura-ou, "now that this is out of the way, I want your word that you won't pull anything sneaky on us." I also want to ask why he treats them differently than he did me, but that's not a question to ask right now unless I want to sound like a whining baby.

"I promise nothing will be done to harm you or forcefully detain you in any way," the king assures me. To my doubtful glance, he only smiles. Now that I can observe him better, he doesn't seem very dangerous; a bit naive, even. But he knows what he wants.

"Ashura-ou, please, this is ridiculous!" Kumara protests.

"The only thing that's ridiculous in here is you," I reply. "Oh, and I want my whip back."

"Of course."

"Ashura-ou!"

"And I want you to limit the alcohol when it comes to the kids."

"Ah! That, however, I can't promise!" Ashura-ou chuckles, and I notice the pink in his cheeks. Great, so he likes the stuff too.

"You! Stop ignoring me!"

"Ashura-ou, may I ignore him?"

"Permission granted."

"Ha," is all I say, glaring. Ashura-ou and I continue our conversation as Kumara drones incoherently in the background.

"And I want it to be clear that I mean you no harm."

"The feeling is mutual."

"But don't expect me to just sit there and let you boss me around," I warn. Ashura-ou chuckles in his sleeve.

"Yes, you showed us that a few days ago," he laughs. I frown, and he explains, "I think that soldier still hasn't gotten over that kick of yours."

"She attacked one of my men without provocation!" Kumara finally finds a hole to immerse himself into the conversation.

"That's not what I would call 'without provocation'!" I burst, turning menacingly towards him. "First of all, I don't know what he was saying but it definitely wasn't very nice, and secondly, he slapped me across the face before I even touched him!"

"I trust my men, not some girl who appeared out of nowhere," he replies coldly. I bite my lip.

"Well apparently there's some favouritism going on, because Henrik was there and saw the same thing, and you didn't seem to believe him either!"

"Ah? And who is that?" Ashura-ou asks curiously. I ignore him.

"And speaking of which, I want to know where he is, and Raken too! I know Henrik was taken off guard duty on your orders, so don't pretend like you don't know who I'm talking about," I warn.

"That soldier had been on intensive guard duty for two weeks," Kumara explains, looking down at me like at a disgusting insect. "I gave him a well-deserved rest." We sustain each other's glare for what seems like an eternity, until Ashura-ou breaks the silence.

"If you would like to see lieutenant Raken, there's absolutely no problem. Any other person you would like to meet, we will gladly seek out for you. But not tonight. It is late." He smiles, showing me the door. "I'm sure you'd much rather reunite with your companions properly for now. Tomorrow I will arrange everything, how about that?" My eyes narrow suspiciously, but I believe him. It's Kumara I'm having trouble with.

"I'll think of more questions by tomorrow," I warn them both before walking out. Ashura-ou laughs.

"And I will gladly answer them. Now, off you go." His face grows serious again. "Although I really hope you will find it in you to forgive us for our hasty decisions."

"I can try," I admit sincerely, "but I don't make any promises." I take a step out of the room, and paste a smile on my face. Deep breaths.

"Hey guys!"

"Aisha! Wine!"

"Miaow!" But when I reach them, I realize, my smile is far from fake.

XxX

"Sakura got drunk again!" Mokona exclaims gloriously.

"Please… don't… say that as… though… it was… a good thing," I reply, still panting from my wild chase after her. Beside me, Syaoran pulls a blanket over the sleeping princess. He too is breathing heavily. I let myself crumble on the bed, rolling into a ball at Sakura's feet. I'm exhausted. There's a long silence as we all catch our breathes.

"Mokona…" Syaoran finally says, "can you feel if a feather is in this world?" Another small pause.

"I sense a great power," the fur-ball admits.

"Where is it coming from?"

"It is the most powerful in that castle that floats in the sky."

"Got it," Syaoran answers, looking out the large bay windows. I'm more concentrated on Sakura's easy, familiar breathing, rocking me to sleep like a lullaby.

"And also…" the boy adds, thoughtful, "I need to find out if those two were really Kurogane-san and Fai-san…"

"Huh? What? Who?" I mutter, ripped out of my half-asleep state. "You saw Kuro-sama and Fai-san?"

"I'm not sure," Syaoran corrects me, shaking his head. "They looked like them, but…"

"But what? They didn't recognize you?"

"I don't think so."

"Well that's messed. They must not have seen you then. Where were they?" I ask, suddenly wide awake. Now that the team is half complete, all our efforts must be turned to finding the other half. But Syaoran only shakes his head again.

"I thought it was them, but… it could be the Kurogane-san and Fai-san of this world as well." I hadn't thought of that. "And besides… if it is them… it will be difficult."

"What do you mean, difficult? We find them, we get the feather, we leave. I don't see the difficulty in that."

"Yes, but… that Kurogane-san and Fai-san, whoever they really are… they're fighting with the Yasha clan, up in the castle every night."

"What?" I can't seem to register that fact. So to find out if it's them, we'll have to fight?

"So… whatever we plan to do…" I realize.

"It points to the castle," Syaoran confirms it. "I think we should sleep as well, Aisha-san." I nod.

"My guess is, we'll need it."

XxX

A ray of light offensively falling too close to my eye wakes me up from my deep sleep. With a groan I stretch, nearly hitting Syaoran in the back of the head with my fist.

"Oups! Sorry," I apologize, rubbing my sleepy eyes. "Didn't see you there." He chuckles.

"You're not usually asleep this late, Aisha-san," he scolds me lightly. "It's already mid-morning." I look outside, to the chirping birds out the window, thinking that for once, I can walk out there on my own without someone chaperoning my every move. The thought is exhilarating.

I stretch an arm across my chest and grimace; my stiffness hasn't completely vanished yet, although I have regained complete use of my muscles. It still hurts some when I move too much or too fast.

Sakura is still sleeping next to me, curled up on herself. I couldn't find it in me to walk back to my own room last night, so I fell asleep with Sakura, Syaoran in the other bed. It reminded me of Outo, sharing a room and all; I half-expect Fai to call us downstairs for breakfast.

"Lovely morning, isn't it?" Syaoran asks.

"Sure." There's a long silence.

"Aisha-san…" Syaoran's voice is hesitant. "What happened last night, when you and Ashura-ou spoke? We heard screaming, but when you walked out you acted like nothing was wrong, so…" I look at him. He seems embarrassed to admit he'd been eavesdropping, although it's my fault for forgetting to tune it down. I grimace slightly.

"Syaoran-kun…" I start, "you remember that night in Koryo, when you woke up and heard me screaming at Kurogane, up on the roof?" The boy nods; I smile amusedly. I'm surprised he remembers. But how could I forget? It was my first night travelling with the group, after all.

"Okay, so this is basically the same thing: me and that Kumara dude don't like each other very much. Not that I have a problem with Kuro-sama," I quickly add. "The truth is, I have several. But Kumara was in my way and being very disagreeable. Which lead to the screaming." Syaoran only nods in time with my voice; he's used to my fiery temperament by now. I fleetingly wonder if I could do anything that would surprise him, at this point. I doubt it.

"I'm very glad we could find you, Aisha-san," he finally sighs, a small smile peeking on his lips. "It was only a few moments for us, but we were very worried something could have happened to you." I laugh and ruffle his hair.

"Yeah, as though I can't take care of myself. I thought you knew me," I tease. "And it's nice to see you guys too." Syaoran's face suddenly becomes serious.

"I really hope Kurogane-san and Fai-san are alright," he says.

"Knowing Kurogane, he's probably chopping off heads right now if it's necessary," I answer. After all, it's Fai we're talking about. There's no way he would let the wizard get hurt. Syaoran observes me curiously.

"And you, Aisha-san," he begins. " Would you be… chopping off heads, if you thought it was necessary?" A hungry smirk lights my face.

"Of course. Kuro-sama holds nothing on me as a bodyguard," I say. I can see the boy debate between laughter and alarm. "It was a joke," I say to reassure him. But it wasn't. He shakes his head.

"Oh," he says. "Well, I guessed you might want to see what they brought for you this morning." He hands me a small bundle of clothes. "I opened it," he admits sheepishly, but I'm already uncovering the smooth leather from its wrapping. My fingers play with the whip, once again marvelling at its flexibility. For something found on the street, it's amazing quality.

"Ah," I sigh contentedly. "When they come back, they come in bulk." Just then, a high trill pierces through the air, making us jump. Syaoran looks around nervously, but I only smile. I've recognized the sound.

"Excuse me," I say, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. "It seems I have a date with an old friend. I won't be long." And, under Syaoran's puzzled gaze, I march out the door still wearing my nightgown, with a whip in my hand.

XxX

Henrik is a little shy, now that he knows I can understand everything he says. We're both sitting on the edge of a fountain, a respectable distance between us and a white fur-ball jumping everywhere around us.

"So…" he begins, frowning, "explain to me why you spent two weeks without understanding a word I said, and now you suddenly speak my language?"

"Ah," I say, catching Mokona in mid-air. The little bun followed me outside. "This little fur-ball here translates absolutely everything I say to you, and vice-versa. But it has to be nearby for that to work, and," I glare playfully at Mokona, "this same little fur-ball got us lost." Henrik appears confused.

"So I'm still speaking my language, and you're speaking yours?"

"Exactly. The only difference now is that we can understand each other." He nods slowly.

"Okay. And does that… thing have a name?" he asks. Mokona jumps swiftly from my hand, and practically into Henrik's face. Startled, the boy backs away and falls into the fountain with a shriek. I laugh, unable to contain myself.

"Mokona is Mokona!" the fur-ball screeches.

"Its name is Mokona," I feel I should inform him, watching as the poor boy extirps himself from the cold water, spitting and cursing.

"Thanks," he says sarcastically, climbing back to his seat. "Nice to meet you, Mokona." I laugh some more. He eyes me darkly.

"You're an idiot," he states grimly.

"Am I?"

"You are."

"Damn, that sucks," I cackle. A smile breaks on his lips.

"It's been a while," he says softly, looking out into the distance. I cock my head to the side.

"It's been a while since what?" I ask.

"Since I last saw you laugh like that." I frown, the smile still refusing to vanish from my lips. He seems to realize his words and blushes lightly.

"Well, it's true that I haven't exactly been a joyful person these past weeks," I admit. He nods slowly, keeping his eyes locked in front of him.

"I missed it," he says. "So I would try to make you laugh, or even smile. It was painful, looking at you." It seems that now that one confession has made its way out, he can't stop them. "I liked you, despite what people said. You didn't look like a spy to me." I look at my feet.

"Why?" I finally ask. "I mean, you talked to me first… did Raken put you up to it?" He laughs.

"Not at all," he says. "It's just… that first night… well, nobody else heard you cry in your sleep. Not even Raken. And I guess… that's when I decided you couldn't be an enemy. It just… didn't make sense for you to react that way." He shakes his head. "The first time you joined the king for the banquet, I felt like I was feeding you to the wolves. You just looked at me with those confused eyes, and all I could tell you was to go forward towards those bloodthirsty creatures." I chuckle at the analogy.

"They were intimidating," I admit.

"They're evil," he corrects me, balling his hands into fists, his eyes growing cold. "They just take you in and spit you out like spoiled food. Especially the women." Suddenly, his eyes grow wide and he jerks back. "Well, I mean," he says hurriedly, "they're not all bad, but you know…" I laugh.

"I know," I say. Goddamnit, he's too nice to be mean to people he hates! Now that's adorable. "Thank you, though," I add. "Without you, that hell-hole would have been that much more of a hell-hole."

"I didn't do much," he says, shrugging. I notice the pink blush in his cheeks.

"You were there," I reply, and he turns red. I have to bite my lip not to laugh. He's too cute!

"So…" he says, visibly eager to change the subject. "Your friends… how are they doing?" I decide to go with his clumsy evasion.

"Sakura's still sleeping, last I saw her," I answer. "And Syaoran, well… he's looking after her, like he always does. They were a little shaken after last night, but nothing good food and sleep can't fix." Henrik nods.

"That's good," he says. A silence bears down on us.

"Speaking of Raken, um… are you two related?" I finally ask, eager to break the pause between us. To my surprise, he laughs.

"Yeah, we're brothers," he answers. "Is it that obvious?" I chuckle.

"If you must know, I would have to be blind not to notice," I say. His face gets a little darker.

"Well, half of the world seems to be blind," he states, and I cock my head to the side, puzzled.

"What?"

"Nothing," and the smile is back on his face. "Yeah, so he's my superior on two sides. I can't really be rebellious with a sibling like that."

"Guess not," I smile. He seems to realize what that has meant to me and hurriedly looks away.

"Sorry," he whispers so low I can barely hear. I shake my head.

"Down worry about that. I can't hate you for it, as I've discovered," I assure him. He passes a hand on the back of his head nervously.

"I wouldn't blame you," he says. I sigh.

"Dude, you're the reason I made it through two weeks. Don't you dare feel bad for that."

"If I say that it's too late, will you hurt me?" he jokes. I frown.

"Um, yes. And don't joke about me hurting you, because I will," I answer. "If that's what it takes to get you to feel better about yourself." He laughs.

"Yes, because getting hit always makes people feel much better," he says. "I'm sure that soldier you kicked had an epiphany about the meaning of life soon after."

"Of course he did," I reply with a hungry smile. "He realized how fragile his life was if I ever got my hands on him."

"Yeah, well, there's not much chance of that ever happening," Henrik predicts grimly. "Kumara-san will defend him until the end."

"Oh, what do I care? I don't like either of them. And why did he believe him when he thought you were lying? That's just plain unfair," I pout. Henrik smiles enigmatically.

"I'm just a guard, remember? He actually fights in the war against Yasha. Of course his word comes before mine."

"Hmmm," I say, unconvinced. "If you want to fight so much, how come you don't?" He laughs nervously and looks at the ground.

"Well, they say it's because I'm too young, for one. And then, there's the whole thing about how I never officially had military training for the battlefield."

"Are you kidding? Who taught you then?" I ask, remembering his knife techniques. "You couldn't have learned that by yourself!" He sends me one sideways glance and laughs.

"So little faith in me," he deplores, shaking his head. "But, no, you're right. It was Raken who taught me."

"Can't he get you in there if that's where you want to be? I mean, he's an officer isn't he?"

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean he's allowed to do whatever he wants. If people thought he was favouring me, there'd be trouble," he answers. I shake my head.

"It's not favouritism if he's sending a good soldier to fight a war. At least I don't think it is," I admit. "I don't know much about that stuff." He has a small smile.

"And then there's the fact that Kumara-san despises me," he adds matter-of-factly. I frown.

"He what? Why the hell would that happen?" I ask, suddenly given yet another reason to hate the general. Henrik laughs.

"He hated my mother, I guess. She caused a scene, a few years back, insisting I was Raken's father's son and all. Many people didn't like it."

"Wow, what? So you're not Raken's brother?" I ask, confused. He shakes his head.

"Not officially. We have different mothers, so it gets complicated when the father accepts one and denies the other," he explains.

"That's horrible!" I exclaim. "And stupid. Heck, I don't have the same father as my siblings, no problem there." He looks at me curiously.

"You have siblings? Are they…" he looks up to the room where Sakura is probably still sleeping. I shake my head.

"No, no. They're just friends. The twins are back home, with my mom." I'm starting to get used to that explaining speech about my life; everyone seems to ask.

"Do you miss them?" he asks. I nod.

"Yes. Moving on," I say hurriedly. I am suddenly reminded that Henrik has already seen me at my most vulnerable; my strong façade when it comes to my family can't fool him for long. "I'll talk to Ashura-ou about it," I tell him. "I don't think it's fair that you can't fight for your country when you want to so much." I've seen him burn with envy practically every night, looking out for what seemed like hours to where the soldiers had disappeared with such longing that it was impossible to mistake for something else.

Henrik doesn't seem convinced. "Why would the king get involved in this?" he says. I shrug, a sure smile stretching my lips.

"You never know," I answer. "It seems I've gained considerable influence over the past few hours. He may just listen to me. Or be too afraid I'll massacre someone to deny me what I ask," I add as a joke. He laughs with me.

"Please, don't make it me. I may not survive it," he says playfully. We laugh, Mokona bouncing everywhere, asking questions.

"Mokona doesn't understand! Mokona wants to know what Aisha is talking about. Who is Raken? Can Mokona meet him? Mokona loves making new friends!"

"Mokona is still drunk from last night, it seems," I say, still laughing. The fur-ball protests.

"Mokona is not drunk! Mokona just had a bit of wine this morning!"

"From Ashura-ou's cellar? Poor thing," Henrik tells me. "He'll be drunk for a while."

"Tell me about it," I reply. "I once had four of those in the same room. Not fun." Mokona doesn't seem particularly pleased to be mocked.

"Mokona is not drunk! Mokona wants to know what Aisha is talking about!" he continues, arms flailing around him. "Aisha's mean!"

"Why, of course I'm evil," I say, winking in Henrik's direction.

"I can't help but agree," he says, laughing. Mokona jumps between us, eager for revenge.

"Aisha has a boyfriend! Aisha has a boyfriend!" he shrieks. Hurriedly, I grab the fur-ball and hide him behind my back.

"Shut up!" I hiss menacingly. Henrik seems intrigued.

"What's a boyfriend?" he asks. I sigh in relief, and thank the heavens this is a world where the terms 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend' have yet to be coined.

"Just a friend that's a boy," I say, trying to act confident. He eyes me suspiciously, but doesn't say anything.

"Okay," he says slowly, and I notice that my reaction to Mokona's words and my definition don't make sense when they're put together. But I don't care.

"Oh God, there's so much more I have to ask you," I say instead. "I mean, we have two weeks of conversation to make up for." He chuckles.

"We sure do," he laughs. "Although I'd like to do them some other way. I was never gifted with charades."

"No problem, me neither," I answer. Suddenly, a voice booms from behind us.

"Hey, soldier! Up here, break's over!"

"Oops, gotta run!" Henrik grimaces, jumping to his feet. "Sorry, I'm on guard duty this afternoon."

"Wait!" I call after him. "Let's see each other again. Tonight, is your shift over?"

"Tonight is fine!" he yells over his shoulder, running. "See you later!"

"Bye!" Tonight, I think to myself, if things go as I planned we won't need to meet up…

XxX

"It's already noon, and Sakura hasn't woken up yet!" Mokona exclaims. I sigh and shift positions on my chair; it feels like hours since I've moved. "Is it because she's tired?" Mokona asks again. "Did Sakura wake up early all the time before she lost her feathers?"

"No, just when she got drunk the night before," I joke. Syaoran chuckles.

"No, she still loved to sleep in," he answers tenderly. "Maybe… it's because we haven't recovered enough of her feathers yet." He softly brushes her hair away from her eyes. "If there are any feathers in this world, I swear I'll find them," he vows determinedly.

"Hey, what about me? Do I not count in the people who will help you?" I protest playfully. He smiles.

"Of course, sorry," he says. "I know I can always count on you."

"Much better," I praise, nodding. I've lost track of the time we've spent talking here, waiting for Sakura to wake up. As Mokona said, it is nearly noon and my stomach is grumbling. I was a bit nervous at first, thinking it might take me some time to readjust to having the others here with me, but their presence is like slipping back into an old pair of sweatpants; you had no idea how easy and comfortable it was until you started wearing skirts.

"Is Sakura still sleeping?" I turn around to find Ashura-ou entering the room behind us. Two servants follow him. "The sun has risen to the centre of the sky. Are you not hungry, little guests?" he asks kindly. Mokona jumps in front of us.

"I want food! Mokona is starving!" he cries before Syaoran can stop him. I grab hold of him and pull him back.

"Manners," I caution the fur-ball sternly. I'm finding it difficult to keep my manners in front of Ashura-ou myself. But the king only smiles.

"Really? Come with me then," he says, showing us the door. Syaoran takes a few steps, then looks back longingly to Sakura, clearly debating whether to leave her. As for me, I have risen but have taken no step forward, still unclear on who I can trust here. Ashura-ou sees this and turns to one of the servants.

"Hmm…as soon as Sakura awakens, bring her to us immediately!" he orders.

"Yes, sire," she says with a respectful bow.

"But…" Syaoran goes to protest.

"Are you anxious?" Ashura-ou interrupts, looking back to us. "You were like this at yesterday's banquet too, always worrying about Sakura." Syaoran seems at a loss for words to explain himself, but the king leaves him no time to do so. "The three of you are my special guests," he affirms, "and I will let no one hurt a hair on your heads in my country." His eyes rest long on mine as he says this. I take a deep breath. Maybe I can trust him. Just maybe.

"Come! Let us have lunch," he tells us. I sigh; Syaoran too.

"…All right," the boy says, and I finally step forward. Mokona jumps into the king's palm.

"Is Mokona a guest too?" he asks.

"Of course," Ashura-ou answers with a smile.

"Yay!" They walk out the door. I follow, but Syaoran stays behind. I turn to look at him. He's pulling the blanket over Sakura's sleeping form.

"I will ask Ashura-ou about this country," he tells her. "Rest up now!" I smile tenderly.

"Are you coming or not?" I call. The boy jumps, but hurries after us with just the hint of a smile on his lips.

"I'm coming," he says softly.

XxX

The meal is delicious, as always. The only thing I have against it is the sheer amount of wine flowing.

"Absolutely delicious!" Mokona croons, holding up his cup. He grabs the large bottle of wine next to him.

"Can I have this?" he asks.

"Please!" answers Ashura-ou.

"No!" I answer as well, reaching out to take the bottle away from his grasp. Too late: he's already swallowed the entire thing, jug and all. I watch in disbelief as the bottle disappears into Mokona's tiny body.

"Please," I say hoarsely, falling back, "tell me you were sending that to the witch."

"Yup! Special delivery to Yuuko!" Mokona answers, and I sigh in relief. At least he didn't drink the whole thing. Ashura-ou smiles at our little exchange.

"Isn't this scrumptious, Syaoran?" he asks, turning to the boy who has been relatively silent so far. Syaoran seems lost in his thoughts.

"Yes, wonderful," I answer for him, stealing away Mokona's overflowing cup, amongst the fur-ball's protests and deliberately spilling its content over the edge of the balcony where we are sitting.

"Aisha is so mean!" the fur-ball cries.

"I think you had more than enough," I reply, keeping the cup for myself lest he fills it up again.

"Umm… this country is called Shura, right?" Syaoran asks, finally responding.

"Right," Ashura-ou answers. "This area is the Ashura clan's territory." A flock of birds decides to take us as perches, flying in from everywhere. I gladly share the rest of my bread with a few of them, letting some more settle on my arms and shoulders. One of them takes Syaoran as a roost and begins pecking at the boy's cake, while the oblivious boy continues his conversation.

"Then, what about the Yasha clan?" he asks.

"It is the clan we fight against," Ashura-ou says. "We have fought for a very long time…" The look he sends into the distance is nostalgic, almost sad. I wonder if he remembers what it was like before the war?

Syaoran's brain seems to be spinning full speed. "Where does the Yasha clan come from? That castle?"

"I don't know," Ashura-ou says with a smile. Syaoran and I both back away, stunned.

"Huh?" he asks. My sudden movement seems to have upset the birds, who flutter nervously away before cautiously coming back.

"When the moon rises to the centre of the sky," Ashura-ou explains, "the Yasha clan appears to be summoned to the floating castle. We can confirm, however, that they are not from one of our neighbouring countries. No one has seen the Yasha clan outside of that battlefield."

"You are fighting with them and you don't know where they come from?" Syaoran asks, visibly puzzled. Ashura-ou smiles enigmatically.

"Right. We have fought for ages," he says.

"Why are you fighting?" I ask, suddenly curious. What grudge could you have against people you've never met? As though a combined decision, the birds fly away swiftly, vanishing in the clear sky. Ashura-ou looks to the heavens.

"Because…" he says, "it has been written that whoever controls the castle will be granted their heart's desire."

"…granted their heart's desire," Syaoran repeats, looking thoughtfully up to the silhouettes of the birds still flying away. Ashura-ou nods.

"Because of that myth, the Ashura clan and the Yasha clan have shed blood for generations… on that castle of the moon." A small, knowing smile stretches his lips. "In this world, no one is without desire. Those who say 'I wish for nothing' simply do not understand their own inner hearts."

"Then…" Syaoran hesitates, then goes for it, "what is your desire?" Ashura-ou smiles enigmatically, but doesn't answer. Instead, he pokes playfully at Mokona.

"Are you travelling, Syaoran?"

"Yes," the boy answers. We exchange a glance, but don't say anything about his conspicuous change of subject.

"With Aisha, Sakura and Mokona?" the king asks again.

"And two others," Syaoran answers.

"Why are you travelling?"

"I am searching for something," Syaoran says and I catch a dizzy Mokona, intoxicated from Ashura-ou's petting and loving and all-around cutesy behaviour around the fur-ball.

"And this something is in this country?" the king asks again. I don't like all these questions; the way he says it, it's almost like he already knows the answers.

"I don't know," admits Syaoran, "but it's possible." Mokona nods in agreement. Eager to break the constant flow of questions from Ashura-ou, I speak.

"Can I ask you something?" I say, lifting a hand like an obedient student before a teacher. A glance with Syaoran confirms that now would be the time to ask. Ashura-ou smiles.

"Of course. What is it?" he answers. I take a breath.

"We want you to take us to that castle of the moon," I say. The king's smile vanishes, and his eyes run back from Syaoran to me.

"That is a battlefield!" he protests. "You could die there!"

"I won't die," Syaoran replies determinedly, "because there is something I must still do."

"No," the king's answer allows for no reply. My eyes narrow angrily. Going up there may be our only chance to find the feather, as well as Fai and Kurogane.

"Ashura-ou!" Syaoran exclaims in protest, nearly pleading. The king chuckles.

"At least, not in that outfit!" he concludes playfully.

"Huh?" both me and Syaoran say, taken aback. The king laughs again.

"You can't possibly walk onto a battlefield without an armour," he explains teasingly, although he knows perfectly well that it wasn't our question. I sigh contentedly.

"Good," I say. "It really means a lot to us-"

"Oh, but you won't be coming," he says calmly, taking a sip.

"What?" My hands ball into fists at my side. "And why not?"

"A battlefield is no place for a woman," he answers, sending me a sideways glance. "Especially not a child."

"Who's a child?" I explode, appalled. "Do you just expect me to sit here and do nothing? That's what I've been doing for the past two weeks, goddammit, and I'm so frustrated that if you don't let me take it out on your enemies, I swear I'll start taking it out on your own men! And if you don't think I can defend myself, just pit me against any one of your soldiers, you'll see!" Ashura-ou seems surprised at my sudden burst of anger.

"Aisha-san…" Syaoran says hesitantly, but I brush him off.

"And I don't care if women here don't fight, they do in my country! I can fight as well as any man, thank you very much! I've bet Syaoran a couple of times, too, so there's absolutely no reason why he's allowed out there and I'm not!"

"Please…" Syaoran tries to calm me again, ineffectively.

"Is that what happens when people want to fight for you? You just brush them away like you don't care? If you continue like that, soon you won't have any men left! And for a stupid, pointless war, too!" I finally stop, out of breath. Ashura-ou is silent, seemingly lost in his thoughts. Syaoran is red in the face, looking down at the floor like he doesn't know how to react. I tower over both of them, flushed with emotion. As I begin to calm, I realize the insult I must have done Ashura-ou by loosing it like that. But I'm not about to apologize.

At first I think the king will get angry, but when he finally looks up to me, I can see the amused twinkle in his eyes.

"You," he says, shaking his head, "no matter how much I try to keep you out of trouble, you seem determined to prove me wrong every time. Fine then. If you wish to accompany us so much, I will allow it."

"Wha… really?" I ask, bewildered. I don't understand that man. Just when you think things are complicated, he just turns around and makes them very simple.

He nods. "Really." I look at Syaoran; the boy looks relieved that the exchange didn't end in a bloodbath.

"I, uh… can I ask something else, too?" I say tentatively, taken aback by such a quick acceptance of my request.

"You do like to ask for a lot, don't you?" the king answers teasingly.

"It's not for me," I explain. "You see, I have a friend here… his name is Henrik. He's a guard at the palace."

"Ah, yes. The one you were enquiring upon last night, correct?" Ashura-ou seems to understand.

"Yeah. I know he's been wanting to fight with you against the Yasha clan for a long time now, but… well, he hasn't been allowed to. I thought you could arrange that…"

"Isn't he too young for such an endeavour?" Ashura-ou asks. I shake my head.

"He's eighteen. That means one year older than me and several more that Syaoran. If you let us go, then you can't use that excuse with him." The king's eyes glisten with amusement.

"You plan your battles well, I see," he finally says. "Well, if he is a good soldier…"

"Very good. I've seen him train," I say. Ashura-ou smiles.

"I am sure Kumara won't mind if I nicely suggest he add someone to his battalion tonight," he says, and I can't help but to lift an eyebrow amusedly. The relationship between the king and his general seems very interesting indeed.

"Thank you," I breathe.

"Although I don't hate the idea of pitting you against one of my soldiers as a test," he continues, thoughtful. "I could always ask Kumara; I find he's been getting a little soft lately." That seems highly unlikely to me.

"Oh, please make it him! I wouldn't mind!" I joke. "Please, please, please!"

He laughs. "I don't think you understand the consequences of such a duel."

"Awwww, but I don't like him! I just want to hurt him a little," I say with an innocent expression. Syaoran seems to clue in.

"Aisha-san, you can't…! I mean, to fight him would..."

"Be deliciously fun and sadistic? My thought exactly," I complete for him. "When can we start?" Truth must be told : I'm warming up to this Ashura-ou character.

"Start with the Yasha clan," he cautions. "And you can leave Kumara to me. We leave tonight, in the courtyard." He observes us both, smiling enigmatically. "Don't be late."

XxX

"Are you okay, Syaoran-kun? You've been acting thoughtful since lunch." The boy's head snaps up, startled.

"Huh?" he asks sleepily. I chuckle.

"Were you just sleeping?"

"No, I was thinking," he says, shaking his head. I nod.

"Yeah, I know. That's what I was asking. What are you thinking about?" I say. He shrugs, looks at the ground and frowns.

"Aisha-san, have you ever noticed that this world is very similar to Shara?" he asks. I cock my head to the side.

"Is it?"

"There are two warring factions, just like the Suzuran clan and the shrine."

"There are a lot of wars, Syaoran. It's just how it is in some places."

"Yes, but the Ashura in this country is the same as the God Ashura from Shara country," he replies, looking back at me. I sigh.

"Yeah, I've noticed that too. But if people can have others in different worlds, couldn't it be possible for one of them to be worshipped as a god?" I ask. "Never mind, that didn't make much sense…" I add, grumbling.

"No, it does make sense," he corrects me. "And the men from the shrine worshipped a god named Yasha, as well."

"Like the Yasha clan?"

"Precisely. I'm not sure if it's only a coincidence, or…"

"There is no such thing as coincidence in this world. There is only Hitsuzen," I say, imitating the Dimensions Witch. "No, but really, I get your point. Maybe it means nothing at all. It's just that if you think about it…" I send a sideways glance to Syaoran, to find if he has seen what I see. He nods.

"If you think about it, in both worlds Yasha and Ashura are fighting," he says. I rest my chin on my hand.

"Maybe those two worlds are connected somehow," I say, thoughtful. "God, I wish Fai was here, maybe he'd know more about this."

"But how could they be connected…?" Syaoran mutters, and I lift a hand to stop him.

"Don't worry about that too much," I say. "What matters now is finding the feather and the others, and moving on." He sighs.

"Yes, I guess you're right, Aisha-san," he grants. "But if we could only…"

"Ta-ta, what did I just say?"

"Not to worry about it?"

"Good boy."

XxX

The commotion in the arm's room is frantic. People are running from one rack to another, outfitting soldiers in the white and red uniform of the Ashura clan, handing out weapons and shields as they go. I stand alone in this sea of occupation, the Weapons' Master hovering over me and Syaoran like we're his personal responsibility.

"Anything I can get for you?" he asks, eyeing my whip critically. "I could get you a much better one of these," he says, testing the leather with his fingers.

"No thank you," I answer, holding the weapon protectively at my belt. He frowns, surprised.

"Are you sure? Our weapons are renowned for their quality. We have a whip, somewhere in the back, I could give it to you; the tiniest blade is embedded in its tip, a deadly thing it is." His eyes light up when he speaks of weapons and warfare, and his hands begin to move with childlike excitement. "It doesn't only slash, it cuts with razor-sharp precision, before the enemy can even realize it. Beautiful, truly," he sighs in contentment.

I smile politely. "Thank you, but I'll keep this one," I say, tapping my whip. "It's like an old friend, you see." He nods appreciatively.

"I do see," he says. "When facing adversity, it is best to have a friend by your side." In the crowd I can make out Henrik, still in shock. His eyes dart from place to place with the air of someone who seems to be living a dream. His hand brushes against a blade and he breaks into a smile. He finally finds me, and I wave. He lights up, his smile seeming too big for his face. He can't join me, the crowd is too thick between us, but I see him wave back, mouthing 'Thank you'. I chuckle.

"See you later," I whisper to myself, caressing the handle of my whip. In the mirror in front of us, I can see myself dressed head to toe in white, the red flames – symbol of the Ashura clan – embroidered on the clothing seeming to smoulder and burn on my body. Being the only girl in Ashura's army, a special combination of armour pieces had to be put together for me, and my uniform looks nothing like that of the other soldiers. But the Weapons' Master has made sure that I am fully protected against any attack. I feel a certain kinship towards the old man; he knows his craft well, and understands the emotions and needs of a fighter. Not once has he mentioned that I may be from the Yasha clan, or shown distrust towards me. The fact that I am a woman seemed to surprise him at first, but I had only to demonstrate the grip I have on my weapon, and he showed no more doubt. He is now gushing over Syaoran's sword, Hien. The boy beside me shows no more signs of his previous anticipation; now that the facts are laid out in front of him, he seems inhabited with a steel determination. I can't help but to visualize the battle ahead, with him. I've seen that battlefield before, the blood trickling between stones and the cold bodies of those left behind; I must be crazy to want to go back. But I know that when I get there, the adrenaline of the fight will erase everything else. My mind and all its doubts will be left behind while my body reacts to the threats around me. But how does one fight swords with a whip? I know that keeping everyone at a workable distance in the middle of a brawl will be impossible; I need something else, just in case.

"Are you all set?" the Weapons' Master asks, once again turning to me. I slowly pass my thumb on my whip, thinking of Henrik.

"One more thing," I say, thoughtful. "Get me a knife."

XxX

"I'll fall off," I protest, shaking my head. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Aisha's not afraid of a little challenge, is she?" Raken teases, coming up behind me.

"Shut up, Raken," I say with a smile, turning around. "Or should I call you lieutenant now?"

"Raken is fine, little woman," he laughs. "You shouldn't be afraid to ride, however; they really are quite gentle."

"Yeah, my mare was 'quite gentle' too, before she developped an attitude," I reply, once again glancing at the large dragon-horse in front of me. "Besides, I can't ride." Kurogane's horseback riding lesson seems so far away I doubt I can recall enough to control the beast. And how do I know these things are ridden the same way as horses?

"Of course, of course, and I'm the king of fools," Raken jokes. "You'll do fine."

"I'll fall off."

"No, you won't. Look at your friend, he's already on and ready," he says, pointing towards Syaoran, who is already sitting on his dragon-horse, looking down at us.

"Hey," I say, waving. "Syaoran-kun, this is Raken. Raken, this is Syaoran. Say hi."

"Hello, Raken-san," Syaoran says politely, bowing his head. The officer waves it away.

"No ceremony, please. I didn't become an officer so people could bow at me all day. Nice to meet you, Syaoran."

"Aisha!" I turn just in time to see Henrik before he nearly jumps on me and hugs me. "I don't know how the hell you did it, but thank you so much!"

"Ah… uh… hey…" I stutter, surprised. Raken laughs.

"Watch out before you choke her!" he calls, and Henrik backs away hurriedly, his face red.

"S… sorry…" he mutters, staring at the floor. I chuckle.

"Glad you liked my little present," I say, patting him on the shoulder. "And it was nothing. All I did was have a little discussion with Ashura-ou, right Syaoran?"

"Aisha-san…" the boy says, shaking his head hopelessly. "I wouldn't call that a discussion."

"There was talking involved, wasn't there?" I say with a smile. "Henrik, meet Syaoran."

"Hello," he says to the boy on the dragon-horse. "You two get to ride? That's not fair," he continues, eyeing us with a dash of envy. I laugh.

"You can have mine," I offer. "I'll fall off and kill myself, the Yasha clan won't even need to finish me off."

"No, you'll be fine," he answers, and I sigh hopelessly.

"Damn, you two really are brothers," I say, looking at both him and Raken, who smiles broadly.

"Troupes!" Kumara's cry resonates through the courtyard. "Mount up!"

"Up you go," Raken says, urging me on. I finally manage to swing my leg over the beast's back and around its belly, and sit precariously on my mount. I send an envious glance to Syaoran.

"Why is it so easy for you?" I whine, and he smiles.

"Heels down, stirrups short," he jokes, recalling Kurogane's earlier lessons. I bow my head in defeat.

"You're all the same, all of you!" I deplore, shaking my head.

"March!" All the soldiers begin to move as one. I use the thin skin membranes hanging from the dragon-horse's neck to steer it, and follow. Syaoran is beside me, Henrik walking on the other side. The later and I talk the whole way through, whereas Syaoran falls silent after only moments of disciplined walk. I know this means he's getting ready for the battle, so I don't disturb him. The febrility becomes almost palpable as we approach the clearing. Somehow we've ended in the front of the group, not far behind Ashura-ou and his general. Everyone falls silent, nervous.

"Excited yet?" I whisper to Henrik, who nods, stiffly, a hand on his sword. Raken suddenly appears behind us, riding a dragon-horse.

"Hello!" he calls, making us yelp. Everyone around us looks our way with disapproving glares. I turn to Raken.

"Do you want to give us heart attacks?" I hiss, but he only smiles.

"Get ready," he says. No sooner has he finished that the fabric of the world ripples like a puddle in the rain.

"Time to go Syaoran, Aisha," Ashura-ou calls behind him.

"Yes!" Syaoran answers and I nod, passing my thumb over the reassuring leather of my whip. I take a deep breath and urge my mount forward, to the first line. I don't want to do this halfway.

"Wait!" Raken stops me, grabbing my elbow and pulling back. "Not in the front lines." Above us, the sky has opened to show the ivory moon in all its splendour.

"Why no-?" I go to ask, but the next seconds answer my question. Suddenly, there is another army in front of us and the first man falls to the ground with a pained groan. I want to cover Syaoran's eyes; the blood is everywhere, fountains of it. There's a silhouette standing now, in front of the man it just slaughtered, sword at the ready. I recognize it and shake my head. Please, tell me my eyes are playing tricks on me…

"Kurogane-san! Fai-san!" Syaoran's cry leaves no doubt; he sees it too. Both of them are riding the large beasts and wearing the black and grey uniform of the Yasha clan. Kurogane's sword is lifted in midair, ready to strike again, while Fai holds a bow in his left hand, a quiver of arrows on his back. They stand between the two armies in silent defiance.

Without a word of concertation, without a signal, the men charge. Their battle cries and screams of agony fill the air, followed closely by the smell of blood. Raken picks up at a gallop in front of his men, unsheathing his sword with a barely audible whisper. Henrik follows him with a wild cry, his face white but determined.

"Wait!" I yell, kicking my dragon-horse forward. It lurches towards the enemy, breaking a path for me through the tangle of bodies. I try to follow Henrik. I can't let him die in this hell, not when it's my fault he got here in the first place. For now, Syaoran is safe behind the lines with Ashura-ou.

"Kurogane-san!" I hear him yell again. "Fai-san!" My mount now struggles to break through the crowd, and bodies press against it with the obvious intention to hurt me. I clench my teeth as the dragon-horse rears, and the rest seems strangely broken down, as in slow motion. I kick someone away from me. My whip is released, drawing a bloody arabesque from one of the men blocking my path. I catch a glimpse of Henrik, diverting a blow from a man twice his size. The beast under me roars in pain as an enemy blade pierces through its hindquarters. The one holding that blade is swiftly punished. I jump off the dragon-horse's back; I couldn't have stayed on much longer. The enemy is all around me. There's no time to think, plan or reason, only to attack. My whip is no longer a weapon, but an extension of my hand. This is much more violent than street brawls in Hanshin, but I fight harder, because I have no choice. Because a sense of savage satisfaction inhabits me when I strike. Harder. All the time.

"Kurogane-san! Fai-san!" I hear again, this time much closer. Too close. I punch one last time in someone's throat and turn swiftly on my heels to see Syaoran riding towards Kurogane and Fai like a madman.

"Syaoran!" I call in warning, trying to make my way to him but being held back by a blade grazing against my abdomen. I jump back, kicking the culprit several feet away. When I can finally turn back to Syaoran, Kurogane is already holding his sword towards the boy in a menacing stance, a bloodthirsty smile lighting his face.

"Look," he says mockingly, "the Ashura clan have no warriors left so they send children into battle!" My eyes go from him to Fai, trying to glimpse a flash of recognition in their expressions, but nothing.

"Kurogane-san!" Syaoran exclaims in shock.

"Zenryuu Hikougeki!" the man who is not Kurogane replies, and a beam of light shoots from his weapon, hitting Syaoran's mount and making the boy fall roughly in the dust.

"Hey!" I yell, rage slowly swelling over in me like a wave. My whip shoots towards the enemy soldier, snapping against his cheek. A snake bite.

"Huh!" he exclaims with a smile, turning his head to me. "They're so weak they can send little girls to fight for them!"

"Don't…!" I say but choke in fury. My hands close into fists and my arm shoots backwards, ready for another blow to Kurogane. Before I can, an arrow flies only an inch from my face; a warning. Fai is only feets away, the string of his bow still singing. He smiles. Turning swiftly, he shoots three arrows to Syaoran, pinning him against a rock. Kurogane turns back to the boy, ignoring me. I intend to take advantage of his back to me to strike, but another arrow from Fai dissuades me. The message is clear; every time I try to strike the ninja, he will stop me. If I strike nonetheless, he will kill me.

"Hikougeki!"

"Syaoran!" I watch, helpless, as the beam of light hits the boy, hiding him from my sight. That's it; I don't care about Fai's arrows, I'm taking care of this. I dash towards the two fighters, keeping an eye on the blond one in case he fires. I don't have to wait long. I haven't taken two steps that I am forced to dive to avoid the arrows aimed at my chest. Roll to avoid another one. Jump. Dodge. Fai and I are caught in an incensed dance, him shooting, me avoiding. It soon becomes obvious that this little game is forcing me away from Syaoran. I hear Kurogane's scream again, but any cry from Syaoran is drowned in the constant clamour of the battlefield. I retreated to the rocks, where I am a much easier target. I dive back into the mass of fighting bodies, hoping that now that I am almost invisible, Fai will leave me alone and shoot someone else. But the man only smiles and keeps aiming at me, hitting several Ashura soldiers in the process. Now that I am in the middle of the action, I have to fight my way through. Other than a few breaks where he shoots an enemy soldier who has come too close to him, the blond archer doesn't let me breathe. I catch another glance of Henrik, but don't rejoin him by fear of a stray arrow harming him. But as fate wants it that way, he cuts his way to me despite my silent warnings.

"Aisha!" he calls. "Watch-" His sword blocks the blow aimed at my back before he can finish his sentence. I nod in thanks, turning for only an instant to sink my elbow in someone's stomach. Henrik offers me an conspiring smile, which slowly melts into a mask of pain. With horror, I watch him fall slowly, so slowly.

"Henrik!" I don't even wait to see where the arrow hit; I turn to Fai with undisguised furry. His expression confirms that it was truly his arrow. With a battle cry, I shove my way through the forest of blades between us. That was just too far. He only shoots a few arrows, enough to say he offered resistance, but not enough to stop me.

"You bastard!" I grab a hold of his foot and pull; he looses his balance and falls to the ground. The knife hidden in my boot comes out easily, gleaming in the moonlight. Standing over the archer, I press a foot against his chest and point my new weapon to his throat. Only then do I notice his eyes, proof that it can't really be Fai; instead of sapphires, his face in inhabited by two black holes. They show no fear, only a twinkle of amusement. I don't understand. His lack of resistance is incomprehensible, and contributes to making me even more nervous. My grip gets tighter, and I shake my head. If Henrik dies because of that arrow, I swear he will pay. I should kill him. For harming Henrik, for contributing to hurting Syaoran. It would be so easy; just a slice, and it would be over. No harder than pulling a trigger. My hand starts to shake, debating. He seems to see this and smiles. I don't know what to do anymore. It all seemed so clear when I came here; hurt him, as much as possible. But now… it's not Fai, I know, but something in the way he smiles stops my hand. I force myself to look in his eyes. Foreign, unknown, they are not Fai. He is not Fai.

"If he dies from that… If Henrik dies, I swear…" I can't stop my voice from cracking. What if he does die? Will killing that man make me feel any better? No, no, I can't think like that, I'm not a monster… Doubt fills my mind. As though to make it worst, the man who can't be Fai smiles. Closes his eyes and smiles. Almost invitingly. Almost asking me to do it.

Because he asks, I can't.

"Just… next time," I breathe, slipping the knife back inside my boot, "next time, you might not be so lucky." And I run, far away, to where Henrik was. Without looking back. I try to stop my shaking hands by snapping my whip around a soldier's arm and pulling violently towards me. I step to the side to avoid him and he crashes into a rock. God, I must have seemed so weak to him back there. I didn't even leave him with a scratch. Pathetic. I try to find Henrik and Syaoran, but can't catch glimpses of either. I start to panic. The sense of invulnerability from the beginning is gone, replaced by a burning need to find the others, to make sure they're okay, to protect them from any harm. As far as I know, Syaoran is still fighting the Kurogane from this world, and Henrik… I don't even want to think about what might have happened to him. I shouldn't have left, I should have stayed with him. I just can't think anymore.

The loud sound of a boulder shattering alerts my attention. I turn.

"Syaoran!" The boy is lying in the rubbles of the great rock, unmoving. Kurogane is slowly walking to him, a satisfied grin on his face.

"Your reflexes are too slow," I hear him say, and start making my way to them. I see Syaoran lift his head and breathe a sigh of relief; he's conscious, at least. I turn my back to the fighters behind me, forget about them. Syaoran needs help. Without a word, Kurogane lifts his sword. Swings it down. Fast. Towards Syaoran's helpless form.

"NO!" I scream, and feel a blade pierce my skin from behind.


	28. Reflections of the Heart

I DON'T OWN TRC

Okay, you know what, I give up. It seems I'm humanely incapable of writing a short chapter XD Guess you'll just have to suffer through my unbelievably long chappies.

Oh God, I stretched time in this chapter like you wouldn't BELIEVE! Last chapter in Shura (No...) but then we move on to Piffle (yay!) I'll miss you Henrik and Raken :( You two totally didn't get all the attention you deserved...

Read on!

Fire. Fire from my side, keeping me from breathing. Fire from Ashura-ou's sword, blazing like a phoenix, saving Syaoran's life. A pained gurgle escapes my lips, and I turn to strike the man behind me, the one who stabbed me. Another soldier sinks his sword in the man's chest. Pressing a hand to my wound, I don't wait to see him fall. I turn to Syaoran, praying. Kurogane has been forced to retreat, jumping back onto his dragon-horse. Ashura-ou's sword is still raised, fuming. I breathe a sigh of relief. Syaoran is saved.

"You actually saved your underling. That's not like you, Ashura-ou," Kurogane says, surprised. The king smiles silently, and once again points his weapon to the ninja. This time the fire truly is a bird, spreading its wings to envelop Kurogane in its murderous embrace. I have to back away to escape the heat. The fire is still burning in my side.

With one swift move, Kurogane jumps to meet the flames, cutting through them with his sword. He lands on Ashura-ou's mount and points his weapon to the king's throat. Both men smile.

"How unexpected!" Ashura-ou says, seeming not a bit surprised. A dark flash passes in Kurogane's eyes. Shit. I know that flash. I hear a grunt, somewhere behind me, and only have the time to hear the wind whistle next to my ear before the boomerang enters my field of vision, aimed straight for the ninja. Sword and projectile meet with unexpected force, but Kurogane is forced off the monarch's horse. Kumara gallops pass me in a flash, regaining his weapon as it comes back to him.

"My lord!" he yells, lifting his boomerang to strike Kurogane again. "Don't you dare!" But before he can hit, one of Fai's arrows catches him in the shoulder and he winces in pain. Bringing a hand to his wound, he forgets to attack. Seeming unpleased, Kurogane turns to the archer.

"He's mine, so stay out of it!" he grumbles. His only answer is yet another smile.

I am not the only one standing in periphery of the battle anymore; a great number of Ashura-ou's men have encircled the Yasha soldiers, cutting off any escape. It seems they've moved too far from their battalions during their individual duels, and are now trapped. With a tinge of panic, I realize that I don't see Syaoran anymore. Where could he be? I'm so busy searching that I don't charge with the others. Neither do I stop, in awe, as small globes of light float in the air around us.

"Yama Tenkouken!" The guttural voice erupts around us, and with it, the light globes set in motion. Strong winds pick us up, scattering the soldiers like straw in the storm. I am swept off my feet and thrown in the mix, landing harshly on a pointy stone. There's dust all around us now.

"Dammit…!" I moan, stumbling back to my feet, clutching the cut at my side.

"Damn… Yasha-ou!" I hear someone exclaim. Kurogane and Fai seem untouched by the cyclone that has swept upon us. The ninja turns around, exasperated.

"I said I would take care of him, Yasha-ou!" he groans loudly to a silent figure standing atop an elevation, looking down on us. Long black hair flows in the breeze, only remnent of the whirlwind. The man's expression is stern, unmoving. Ashura-ou supports his gaze, eyes narrowed. The wind starts blowing again, and the surface of the world ripples. Streaks of the battlefield begin to fade away. Just before the Yasha clan disappear, I see Ashura-ou open his mouth as though to say something, but stopping. Never once do his eyes waver from Yasha-ou's.

I hear Kurogane's voice. "Next time, kid, I'll spear you like a pig." _Not if I'm still alive, _I think, biting my lip. I catch Fai looking back to us, smiling, before he disappears. Our gazes cross and he winks.

The clearing surrounds us again. With a mixed sigh of relief and confusion, I let myself fall on the ground. Only then do I notice how weak my legs are now, from running everywhere.

"Aisha!" I turn to the voice, and a smile lights my face when I see Henrik running towards me.

"You're okay," I breathe, relieved.

"Are you?" he replies, kneeling next to me. "God, you're bleeding!"

"Yeah, what did you expect?" I say, shifting my weight to a more viable position. My eyes widen. "Oh Lord, you have an arrow stuck in your shoulder!" The shaft of an arrow is sticking out of his shoulder blade at an awkward angle.

"Oh, that's not so bad," he says, rolling his shoulder back and forth. "It stops hurting after a while. What the… what happened to you?" He lifts my hand, uncovering the wound at my side. It seems superficial, but my fingers and clothes are tainted with blood. It's a good thing my leather armour deflected most of the blow, or it could be far worse.

"It's nothing," I say, trying to see over his arm, to his wound. "We should get someone to pull it out…"

"When we get back to the castle. Come on, get up," he orders, pulling me onto my feet.

I protest. "But, your shoulder…"

"Will be fine until we get back. Can you walk?"

"Yeah. I'm not infirm, you know, I just got scratched," I reply, internally thanking the heavens for saving his life. _He's alive, he's alive,_ I want to croon.

I jab the area near the arrow's shaft, and Henrik grimaces with a pained hiss.

"See?" I say, scolding, "it does hurt."

"It's just for a few minutes, until we get back," he assures me.

"Wait… where's Syaoran?" I realize that I've lost him for quite some time now. "Is he alright? Where is he?" Henrik chuckles.

"Calm down, I think I saw him over there," he says, pointing a direction in front of us. I dash there, dragging him behind me. If that boy has one hair missing, Kurogane will pay dearly. I spot him standing, as though in daze, in the centre of a small cluster of soldiers, looking down at his sword.

"Syaoran!" I exclaim, nearly knocking him over. "Thank God you're alive!" He blinks, startled, and takes me in. His eyes drop to the hand at my side.

"Aisha-san! You're bleeding!" I sigh.

"Yes, I've noticed. How are you?" I reply, examining his wounds. "Next time someone takes you as a target like that, you dive into a group, okay? It'll slow him down, and there's bound to be someone to help you, if only to save their own skins. You hear me?" I'm very serious. Syaoran smiles lightly.

"I'll remember that," he says, but I know he won't listen to me. No matter how much he likes to pretend he's only doing what's necessary to find Sakura's feathers, he wants to test his own strength, too. I know that kind.

"Now just hold still, while I check that out," I order, leaning in to touch a wound on his arm. "It's not so bad. You'll need a lot of bandages, though." He pulls away.

"I'm fine, really," he says, and I eye him suspiciously.

"I don't trust you when you say that anymore," I say, scrutinizing his face for any sign of pain.

"Aisha, maybe you should let the physician take care of him…" Henrik intervenes timidly.

"You!" The voice coming from behind us freezes everyone around it. I swiftly turn around, and Henrik protectively raises an arm in front of me. The man who just yelled is standing alone, livid, his hands on his hips. I frown, trying to recognize him. Then it all comes back.

"You…" I whisper, my frown turning into a glare. Before me is the same soldier who slapped me, the one I kicked in the chest and who claimed I attacked him without provocation. The scorn and incomprehension in his expression almost make me wish I'd hit him harder, caused more damage. Henrik's eyes grow hard.

"I'll only tell you once this time," he says, almost defiant. "Leave her alone."

"The Yasha spy fights with us?" the other yells, furious. "What is this? How dare she aspire to such an honour?" People are starting to whisper all around us, and he turns to the other soldiers. "You know as well as I do that she is no friend to us. So why is she allowed to join our ranks? She'll get us all killed! An enemy, and a woman at that!"

"Hey!" I snarl. "Watch what you say about me. I can understand you this time around." His eyes narrow until they are reduced to slits on his face. I notice they are a murky brown.

"What is this sorcery?" he spits. "Weeks of silence, and now she speaks our tongue? I knew she was only pretending, to better gain our trust and learn our secrets. But it has failed, and she has now shown her true colours!"

"Dude! I'm right here, you know," I interrupt in rage. "Stop talking like I can't hear you!"

"And look at him!" he continues, showing Henrik. "She has obviously bewitched him; he claims her innocence! She brings weakness in our troupes!" The boy's face turns red, and he looks down. My hands ball into fists. That last remark does it. I march past Henrik, swallowing the distance between me and the soldier. My entire body shakes with anger.

"Listen!" I growl, now only a few inches from him. "You have a bad habit of dragging other people in fights that only concern you and me. So let me make it clear; it's just you and me on this battlefield. Deal with it." My voice gets louder. "And you have no business accusing me of stuff I didn't do! I am not from the Yasha clan, I bewitched no one, and I never did anything to you to justify this!" His eyes show nothing but hate.

"You humiliated me," he whispers, caressing the hilt of his sword. I flash a hungry smile.

"Would you like me to do it again? There are a lot more witnesses this time," I offer. In fact, most of the soldiers around us have stopped to look at our ongoing argument. I tilt my head to the side, almost innocently if it wasn't for the smile on my lips. "Don't tell me you're afraid of a woman?" He seems to swallow his reply, and backs away a few steps. His sword is released with a soft whistle. As an answer, my whip rolls down from my hand. I hear the sound of swords raising a little everywhere, and the steady beat of hooves on the ground. Everyone is watching.

Good. We have an audience.

"That's enough!" Kumara bursts into the small circle that has formed around us, his beast loudly slamming its front hooves to the ground. "There will be no duel!"

"General Kumara," the other says, refusing to break eye contact, "this spy should not be within our ranks." I say nothing to defend myself. I've said it all before, I shouldn't have to explain it all again. Kumara is still clutching the wound at his shoulder. His eyes go from me to him, and back to me.

"Ashura-ou himself has found her apt to fight in the war against Yasha. I do not discuss the king's orders," he says, strangely atone. Sure of the general's support, the man in front of me has not considered the possibility that help would be refused to him. He starts to panic.

"She is a traitor! I've seen her fight Yasha's soldiers!" he exclaims. "The archer, she managed to engage him… he was at her mercy, a knife at his throat!" I frown, confused as to why he now relates my exploits on the battlefield. But I am painfully brought back when his lips stretch in a sardonic smile. "She let him live," he concludes, savouring the victory this realisation has brought him. I open my mouth, ready to reply, but the soldier doesn't give me that chance.

"How can she claim to be friend if she passes an opportunity to rid us of one who has caused the death of so many of our own?" he continues, once again claiming the attention of all around us. Kumara's eyes shoot daggers in my direction.

"You let him live?" he growls, furious. But I can almost make out a hint of admiration in his eyes.

"He isn't my enemy," I finally blurt out, after moments of bewildered hesitation. "And I was enrolled in your ranks to fight, not to kill." But the soldier doesn't seem to have said his last word.

"And why was her companion fighting Yasha's best swordsman? How can Yasha's two best men target them both on their first battle? It can't be a coincidence; surely they were…" My whip crackles next to his ear, shutting him up.

"What did I say about dragging other people into this?" I hiss menacingly. Kumara closes his eyes for second, clearly debating how to resolve this.

"There won't be a duel," he says, allowing no debate. "You, know that Ashura-ou has ordered no harm be done to her or her companions as long as they are in Shura country. And you," he adds, squinting at me, "don't go thinking you can do whatever you want, just because of the king's orders. You are both lucky that I won't report this to Ashura-ou. And I will allow no fighting amongst the soldiers of my troupes, is that clear?"

"Yes sir," I say, refusing to look away from the man in front of me. He bites his lip, shaking in anger. As though against his will, he finally answers.

"I will follow orders," he spits, glaring at me.

"Good," I say, returning his glare. I wait until he disappears into the crowd of soldiers before turning back myself, marching to Henrik and Syaoran. Both of their swords are still raised, as though ready to spring into action. I force a reassuring smile on my lips.

"Aisha-san…?" Syaoran asks, puzzled. I wave away his concern.

"It was nothing," I assure him, but he doesn't seem to believe me. Henrik eyes me worriedly.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

I nod. "Yes." Both of them slowly put their swords away.

"You shouldn't take this so lightly, Aisha," Henrik cautions. "He won't just leave you alone."

"There won't be any problem," I answer, sending him a warning glance and discreetly motioning to Syaoran. Henrik seems to understand and drops the subject. I won't be dragging Syaoran or Sakura into any of what happened these past two weeks.

"Troupes! March!" Kumara orders to the few of us still lagging behind. Most didn't wait for his order and are now a fair way ahead of us. We follow in silence, only troubled by the babble of soldiers around us. The adrenaline has fallen, and I feel exhausted and hollow. Confused, as well, as I think of everything that happened on that battlefield. Those men who looked like Fai and Kurogane but weren't, Syaoran's brush with death, my own wounds and fears brought to the surface. And that look, in Ashura-ou's eyes, as the world was separating us from the battlefield… did I only imagine it?

Around us, soldiers are shaking their heads and speaking in bewildered tones, as though the very thought of battle is now unreal. Slowly, groups start to organize and questions fuse; but one seems to grasp everyone's attention, and it is that one that dominates the conversation around us. _Who didn't make it?_

"Akito's dead. I saw him getting shot."

"What about Haruhi? Did you see him at all?"

"Naw, but he's tough. He probably made it out."

"And Gret?"

"Dead. Chopped down by one of those light bolts that swordsman shoots at everybody."

"I saw Riku die. Wasn't pretty."

"Did anyone see Raken?" Henrik's question shoots out, and I notice that his face has turned white. Of course, we haven't seen a glimpse of his brother since we've left the battlefield. I squeeze reassuringly on his arm, and Syaoran looks down, seeming to be recalling some confused memory.

"I did see him, but that was closer to the beginning of the battle," he says, his eyebrows knitting in concentration. "I don't think… he didn't seem harmed." Looking into Henrik's face, I am suddenly hit with the realization of all those who died back there. All the men who walked with us into battle, and who aren't following us now. Nameless, cold faces left on the battlefield, blood trickling down the stones. I close my eyes, pushing away the memories of my first night in this country. Raken was there, reassuring amongst the screams of agony. No, he can't be one of those corpses I saw the first night.

"…seemed like a very good fighter. I'm sure he's okay," I hear Syaoran tell Henrik. Suddenly, there's an arm around my shoulder.

"I heard you were looking for me?" a laughing voice erupts near us. "You weren't afraid I would leave you alone to a boring life, were you?"

"Raken!" Both me and Henrik exclaim, reassured. Syaoran breathes a sigh of relief. Raken smiles, examining us.

"Well, you three look pretty bet up," he concludes, nodding in what I take to be pride. "Good. It means you took advantage of it. Now you'll be able to tone it down, next time."

"Tone it down? I'm still on a rush," Henrik admits with a laugh. Me and Syaoran don't say anything. Raken eyes me critically.

"Well, aren't you different from the first time you came out of that battlefield," he notices, a small smile on his lips. I smile back.

"Yeah, I guess I am," I answer. In more ways than one.

XxX

Sakura seems to awaken just as we walk into the room.

"Syaoran-kun!" she exclaims, running to the boy. "You're hurt!"

"No, no, it's just… huh…" he tries to reassure her, but she interrupts him.

"You've been hurt!" she says, examining his wounds. I stretch.

"Well, look who's awake," I say with a grin. "And as energetic as ever, I see."

"Aisha! You're hurt too!" Sakura cries out, seeming pained. I feel bad teasing her in such a state, but can't stop myself from it.

"I got in a fight with the house cat," I joke. "Syaoran tried to help me, and now look at us!"

"That's some vicious kitty!" Mokona yelps, jumping on my shoulder. I can't help but wince as he skins one of my wounds. Sakura now looks at both of us, determined to know the truth.

"Why are you hurt?" she demands candidly, staring at Syaoran, knowing he can't lie to her. The boy turns red.

"Ah! Well… just a little scratch…" he stammers. Mokona jumps from me to him.

"That's not a scratch," the furball says, examining him. "It looks like you got stabbed or something!" Sakura's eyes go from me to Syaoran, saddened.

"Please," she says, taking one step towards the boy, "don't hide your pain from me. I know I can't do anything to help, but at least let me worry about you." She looks up at him with a pleading expression, and he looks to the floor in shame.

"…sorry," he whispers. Slowly, she reaches out to him.

"Can I touch it?" she asks, cautious. Before the boy's surprised expression, she gently begins to pass her fingers on the area near a cut. "Humm," she adds, thoughtful, "back then, my dad would do this for me too. He called it medical treatment. Even if you have no special powers, if you put your heart into it, you can soothe the greatest pain." She smiles. Softly, he smiles back.

"Thank you," he says.

"Mokona will give medical treatment too!" the fur-ball exclaims, jumping on me and beginning to earnestly rub my skin. I laugh.

"Ow," I say, "but thanks." After a few seconds of eager massage, Mokona looks up to me.

"What did you find out in the castle of the moon?" he asks. Syaoran answers for me.

"We met two men who looked like Kurogane-san and Fai-san," he starts, looking up to the clear silhouette of the castle against the pale moon.

"Were they?" Sakura asks.

"Nope," I say, sharing a glance with Syaoran. We already spoke about it on the way here, and he's come to the same conclusion as me.

"The person who looked like Kurogane-san was carrying the sword we bought in Outo," he starts, "but when he saw me, it was as though he didn't know who I was."

"And that wasn't Fai," I add, my face turning sombre. "He didn't recognize me at all." Syaoran nods.

"And besides," he says, looking away, "they both had black eyes." Sakura frowns thoughtfully.

"Kurogane-san has crimson eyes, and Fai-san's eyes are sapphire blue," she says.

"…is that so?" Mokona asks, and I nod. You don't have to remind me what colour should have been there instead of those onyx holes.

"That means that they are the Kurogane-san and Fai-san of Shura country," Syaoran concludes.

"But then," Sakura says, "where are the Kurogane-san and Fai-san that travelled with us?" I shrug.

"Who knows at this point?" I say. "They haven't been around the palace, that I know. We could always ask around." I look at Syaoran. "The one thing we know for sure is that this war has something to do with the feather. Which means…"

"…we'll be going back to the battlefield soon," Syaoran finishes for me. He doesn't seem too happy about it. I have to admit that now, fighting another battle could be the last thing I'd want to do.

Suddenly, Syaoran bends forward with a grunt, pressing a hand to his right eye. Both Sakura and I rush to him in concern.

"Are you alright?" she cries.

"It's nothing…" he croaks, "my eye…"

"Listen to me. Did he hit you anywhere around it?" I ask, trying to get him to look at me. I know he can't see out of that eye, but I've never heard of blindness causing actual pain. Maybe he hit his head…?

"Does it hurt?" Sakura exclaims, worried.

"A little bit…" he admits. The princess leans over, and tenderly presses a kiss to the boy's eye. The entire room freezes, and a bewildered silence installs itself. I smile broadly, trying not to burst out laughing in surprise as Syaoran's eyes shoot wide and his face becomes red.

"Sa… Sakura-hime!" he exclaims, looking down at her, who doesn't seem to understand what she's just done.

"Huh?" she asks. I can't help myself, and my shoulders begin to shake as I muffle a violent access of laughter. They are so adorable!

"It's a kiss!" Mokona croons at the top of his lungs. "A kiss on the eye!" Sakura's face hits a shade rivalling that of Syaoran's, and she suddenly shoots back with a hand clasped on her mouth.

"Sorry!" she yells, bringing the other hand to her mouth. "It was so sudden!"

"No, no! It's okay!" Syaoran tries to reassure her, himself stuttering.

"I don't know why I did that!" she cries, kneeling beside the bed and burying her face in the covers. Still laughing, I kneel beside her and gently pat her on the back.

"It's okay," I cackle, "it's okay… Look, he's even more embarrassed than you!" In the background, Mokona still croons his incessant song - 'It's a kiss! It's a kiss!' - as Syaoran tries to make him quiet down.

"I don't know what happened," Sakura admits after I've coaxed her to lift her head. "My body moved on its own!" Finally stopping his chant, Mokona jumps on the bed, in front of us.

"That, that, that!" he says, jumping once at every word, "perhaps, was a memory of your body. Yuuko once said there are two types of memories: memories of the heart, and memories of the body. The memories in your heart are very important, but the memories in your body are important too! Even if Sakura has lost her heart's memories, her body's memories remain. So, even though Sakura doesn't remember the past, when she saw Syaoran in pain, she kissed him. Her feathers may have been scattered, and many things in her heart forgotten, but her body still remembers. So even before we get all your feathers back, your body's memories will help you!" he concludes with a smile.

"Mokona…" Sakura says, her eyes filling with tears of emotion, taking the fur-ball in her arms and hugging him, "thank you." I join in, wrapping my arms around both of them.

"Okay, this is a cute moment. It deserves a group hug," I say and Sakura chuckles, even as a tear streams down her face. Syaoran sends Sakura a sideways glance, trying to seem like he's not looking, and smiles tenderly. We stay like this for some time, before the boy interrupts us with a question to Mokona.

"Do you feel a feather?" he asks. The fur-ball looks out the window.

"I sense a great power in the castle of the moon," he says, telling us no more than he has last night. I realize that dawn is quickly breaking, turning the horizon pink. Syaoran also turns to the sky, bringing a hand to his right eye.

"The feather…" he says thoughtfully, "Fai-san and Kurogane-san… if we don't find them soon…" I don't really want to finish that sentence. Not seriously, anyways.

"Ashura-ou might subject us to another one of those lunches!" I exclaim playfully, gasping. Syaoran chuckles, seemingly against his will. The mood instantly lightens.

XxX

Henrik's flute rings with a joyful tune, and I drum the beat as my sandals fall against the stone tiles. I let myself fall by his side with a sigh of relief. The sky is now a golden blue, announcing the day to come. We sit in silence until his song is done, and I relish in the sun's warms rays against my bare arms. As he puts down his flute his eyes fly to me, and the bulk of the bandages that one can guess under my dress. His eyebrows shoot up when he sees my hair pulled up into a bulky, ornate clip that covers most of the back of my head. He smiles at the jewel at my neck, and nearly laughs when he sees my nails, painted orange. I feel myself blush under his gaze.

"They forced me to take a bath," I explain, pushing back an inexistent strand of runaway hair. "Then they decided to make me look like a lady despite the battle wounds, and they wanted to do my hair and paint my nails and wax my legs…" I shiver at that last one. "And the only thing I was able to do without was the makeup. Do you imagine?" I say, turning to him, "They spend weeks not caring how I look, and now I can't walk out of the room without a makeover! And Mokona did nothing to help me, nothing!" He laughs.

"I knew that little fur-ball would only lead to trouble," he says. I shake my head.

"I know, eh? Always gets us into trouble. I don't get why we like him so much… it must be the cuteness," I agree. He continues to eye me amusedly.

"It's funny, I never thought you could look like that," he says.

"And I never thought you took that uniform off," I reply. He's traded off his usual suit of light armour for a more relaxed garb, including a long sleeved shirt that effectively covers most of his wounds. I peer at it, trying to see traces of bandages under the fabric. He sees this and chuckles.

"Yeah, I won't be spending most of my days on guard duty anymore, since I'll be on the battlefield during night from now on," he explains, backing away ever-so-slightly to avoid my eyes. "I have you to thank for that."

"Sorry," I say, pulling away. He frowns. "It's my fault you got hurt, too," I explain. He laughs softly.

"Are you kidding? Aisha, I've wanted to step on that battlefield my whole life. I knew the risks before I agreed to go," he says. "You just made it possible for me to do something I could only dream of doing. If that's not worthy of some recognition, then please tell me what is." I stare at my sandals in silence. I don't want him to thank me for getting him hurt.

"You know he was aiming at me, don't you," I say, sombre. Slowly, he nods.

"I figured it out," he admits. I bite my thumb anxiously.

"And you're still thanking me?"

"You tried to warn me," he objects. "I just didn't listen. You couldn't have done more if you would have tried." He doesn't know that. For all I know, I could have spontaneously burst into flames and burned both armies to ashes in a fit of anger. I could have saved him. I wish my magic was back.

I hear him shift beside me. "Can I ask you something?" he asks, sending me a sideways glance. I nod. "Why didn't you kill him?" My answer blocks in my throat. I want to say that I decided he wasn't worth it, that I turned around to find Henrik and help him. But the only thing that passes my lips is the truth.

"I couldn't," I admit, looking down. "I couldn't kill him. I wanted to, but when I looked at him…" my voice breaks, and I find it hard to go on. "He didn't even fight back," I finally continue, my voice barely audible. "At one point, I actually thought he wanted me to kill him. And…" I can't believe I'm saying this, "he looked like someone I know. I'm sorry, but I couldn't. I'm so pathetic." There's an awkward silence. I steal a timid glance towards Henrik, only to find that he's looking intensely at me. I recoil, but he smiles kindly.

"I didn't expect anything else out of you," he admits, taking up his flute. I cock my head to the side, perplexed.

"I didn't kill anybody either," he admits with a small grin. "And to be honest, I would have been a little disappointed if you had." I find it in me to smile shyly.

With some surprise, I recognize the tune he was playing the first morning I woke up here. I sit, motionless, until the song ends, thinking about what he just said. But I realize that he is right; I couldn't have killed anyone even without all the reasons I mentioned. And I wouldn't want anyone to kill for me. He finishes his song, and places his flute back in its pouch.

"How's your shoulder?" I ask worriedly. He shrugs, then winces.

"They patched it up. It barely hurts anymore, now that they pulled it out."

"Here, let me check," I say, trying to touch it. He pulls away, smiling.

"Because you think you know better than the palace physician? I swear, it's fine."

"No, I just want to try something," I say, once again reaching for his wound. This time he lets me, and I feel his muscles buckle under my fingers as I touch the sensitive area. I barely brush against the fabric, slowly running my fingers in circles above his wound.

"Sakura taught me this," I explain. She said that, even without magical powers, you can soothe the greatest pain. As long as you put your heart into it.

He smiles. "It doesn't feel half-bad," he admits. Put your heart into it.

"He shouldn't have hurt you," I say. "I shouldn't have let that happen." Your heart. My heart. Put my heart into what my fingers are doing. Soothe. Heal.

"It wasn't your fault," he repeats.

"Then just let me make it better," I say. My hands now bathe in a silver glow, and tiny droplets of light dance around my fingers. I don't even realize it until Henrik points it out.

"What… what are you doing?" he asks, alarmed. I don't know. All I know is that I can feel the skin under my hands weave together again, the blood drain back into the body it came from. A smile lights my face as I realize what it means.

"Are you… how's your shoulder now?" I ask, distractedly touching my own. But it doesn't feel any different.

"It feels…" he rolls it back and forth, seeming puzzled, and then looks at me. His eyebrows knit in confusion. "It doesn't hurt at all. It's… gone," he says, his eyes going from my face to my hands. All I do is smile. I've really healed him without harming myself.

"What… how did you do that?" he asks, stroking the place where his wound used to be.

"I don't know," I admit, nearly laughing in wonder, "but let's take advantage of it while it lasts." I bring my fingers to his arms, where I know smaller injuries are waiting. I want to heal as much as I can now, before the magic recedes to a place where I can't find it again. After the initial shock, Henrik gently but firmly grabs my hands and applies them to my side.

"You need it too," he says to my inquiring look. I want to protest, but his hands on mine keep me from moving. Soon I can feel my wound close under my fingers, and I nearly sigh in relief. I thought it didn't hurt anymore, but it feels so much better now. When I consider it healed, I try to continue my work on Henrik; but I see that the silver light is gone. I stare at my hands in disbelief.

"Why now?" I ask, trying to will the droplets to appear again, in vain. "I wasn't done!" Henrik now looks at me like I am a stranger.

"Aisha," he says, rolling the name on his tongue. "You… did more than enough, I swear." I shake my head.

"No, no, I can't control this thing, I don't know how it happens, and it never lasts like I want it too!" I cry in frustration, but he chuckles gently.

"Aisha," he says again, "look at me." I do, and I see his features lit up by the sun's now vibrant rays. The sunrise is over. "Do you think I can do anything remotely like what you just did?" he asks. I don't have the time to answer. "Well no, I can't. So be grateful for what you can do, and don't focus on what you can't."

"But… but…." I want to protest.

"But nothing, okay? And can I thank you for that, at least?" I open my mouth to object, but before his begging eyes, I can't.

"Fine," I say. "You're welcome." He smiles.

"Good. Now why don't you tell me what's bothering you," he says. I know there's no point in pretending. I take my head in my hands.

"I don't know anymore," I say. "I thought I had everything figured out, but now I'm getting confused again. Why am I getting attached to everything? Everywhere I turn, there's something else I don't want to leave… but I want to go back. I don't want… I'm afraid that I'll chose to stay with them, but I want to go back home, so I can't…." Do I really care that much for Henrik, that my magic suddenly awakens after such a long absence to heal him? And why am I so protective of Syaoran and Sakura since I've found them again?

"If you know what you want, then where's the problem?" he asks, to my surprise. "If you know what you want to chose, then you'll choose that. It's obvious, no?" I lift my head to look at him, blinking as though blinded by the light. It does seem so easy when you put it that way…

"You really think so?" I say, and he chuckles.

"You like to complicate things, don't you? You'll choose what you want to choose, and that's that. Don't worry that you'll pick something else. And it's not bad to get attached to things," he adds. "It gives you something to care about. So don't be afraid of that." I start laughing.

"Why are things always so simple when they don't come from me?" I ask the sun, as it burns bright above us.

XxX

I pull the hood carefully, so as to hide my face from the people in the street. I don't know how many people here actually know of my existence, but I don't want to start something I can't stop by showing my face, and especially my eyes, in a crowded place like this. I've been told by Syaoran that all members of the Yasha clan are said to have black pupils, which has mislead many people in believing that my eyes betrayed my identity. It took all my might not to explode in people's faces and explain that my eyes are grey, not black, and that it's not my fault they can't difference colours from one another. But I understand that my dark eyes could be misleading to those unaware of who I am, so I'm playing it safe. Sure, it would have been even safer to remain at the palace, but I wasn't about to let Syaoran do all the work in searching for Fai in Kurogane. So I am now riding with him in a crowded marketplace, trying to avoid eye contact as much as possible.

"Excuse me, I have a few questions," Syaoran says, jumping off his mount in front of a group of townspeople. They look at him like he's an alien. I stay on my own beast, not uttering a word and keeping my eyes in the shadows of my hood.

"Who the?"

"I've never seen his face before!"

"Where'd he come from?"

"From Ashura's castle…" the boy answers tentatively, taken aback by their hostile reaction. But when they hear him mention the palace, everyone in the crowd suddenly sports a welcoming face.

"So you're the king's guest everyone is talking about!" a man exclaims, smiling broadly. Syaoran and I look at each other, puzzled.

"There are three children," the same man continues for all those around him. "The boy has amber pupils, while one of the girls has jade-green pupils. And there's another with dark eyes, which must not be mistaken for black, as they are grey." He looks at me at that last sentence, confirming that my disguise wasn't enough to hide my eyes. Turning a little pink in embarrassment, I push the hood back to reveal my face. Several people laugh, as they must understand my reservations.

"His eyes really are amber!" a man marvels, peering into Syaoran's eyes.

"And look at hers! I would have thought they were black, they're so dark!" a woman exclaims, pointing at me.

"How did you know about us?" Syaoran asks, puzzled, but I already suspect the answer.

"We were told as soon as you got here," the first man explains. "'The king's guests have arrived and they mustn't be harmed in any way.'" I'm at least glad to know that Ashura-ou is keeping his promise well.

"You had something to ask?" the man remembers us. Syaoran's head snaps back to attention.

"Yes," he says. "We're looking for someone. Both of them are quite tall," he describes, "one of them has short black hair, and the other is blond."

"One of them looks like he wants to kill you, the other is annoying as hell," I add. "You can't miss them." The townspeople exchange glances.

"Nope," one of them says. "Haven't seen those two. If foreigners enter this city, Ashura-ou's patrols would capture them right away."

"Got to be careful with foreigners," another continues. "They might be members of the Yasha clan…"

"I see," Syaoran says, seeming disappointed. I am too. Then again, I never really had much hope. If their look-alikes really are Yasha's best soldiers, surely they wouldn't have been missed by the patrols if they were somewhere in this town. But they have to be somewhere around here…

Suddenly, Syaoran bends forward, clutching his right eyes again. He falls to his knees as the crowd forms a circle around him.

"Syaoran?" I call anxiously, sliding down my mount. "Are you all right? Syaoran!" I get no answer as I run to him, crouching beside him.

"The feathers…" I hear him mutter, "if I don't get them soon…"

"Stop that," I say, passing an arm around his shoulder. "You're too obsessed with those feathers, you need to stop once in a while." But once again, I am ignored. Seeming to abruptly coming back to his senses, Syaoran looks up, and meets his reflection in a mirror set up for sale against a table. His eyes are wide and frightened, his skin sweaty.

"What's going on?" I hear him whisper, and all I can do is look worried.

Yes, what is?

XxX

"Well, if that isn't a little woman I wouldn't mind at my arm," Raken calls, passing me on my way to the arm's room. My eyes drop to the ground, embarrassed. I don't like it when people comment on my new look.

"Hi, Raken," I say. "You haven't seen Syaoran, have you? I lost him." Ever since our hurried return from the town, I haven't seen a glimpse of the boy. I have a feeling he might be avoiding everybody, as Sakura has barely seen him today as well.

"No, I haven't," Raken answers, shrugging. "He can't be far, if he wants to be ready for tonight's battle on time." We haven't talked about his eye yet, and I feel that I shouldn't press him about it. The look on his face when he saw himself in the mirror doesn't encourage any reference to the subject until he's calmed down about it. I just hope he'll be okay.

"Hey, listen," Raken says, putting his hands on his hips and looking at me. "I talked to Henrik. He told me about what happened after last night's battle, when that soldier challenged you to a duel." He sighs, shaking his head. "You better be careful. I know that man, and he won't stop until he gets what he wants."

"He's nothing but a pushover," I shrug. "Kumara showed up and he just backed off."

He smiles joylessly. "But Kumara won't always show up, and he knows it. Watch yourself tonight, at the castle." I frown.

"You think he'll try something during the battle?" I ask, surprised. He shakes his head.

"I have no idea what he'll try and when. But there is only one thing bigger than his ego, and that's his loyalty to the clan. Not only does he hold a personal grudge against you, but he truly believes that you are a member of the Yasha clan. Not even Ashura-ou's orders will stop him from doing what he thinks he must do."

"He won't try anything," I say, sure of myself. "He can't risk it coming back to Ashura-ou."

"That's the thing. The battlefield is his best chance, because no one will know what really happened to you."

"Oh, and he thinks I'll be too afraid to tell everyone?" I reply, daring, but Raken's eyes grow sad as he looks at me. I shiver, as I understand what he fears. "He wouldn't…" I whisper.

"Henrik and I will try to keep an eye on you tonight, but we can't always be there," he says, trying to smile and putting a hand on my shoulder. "Be careful, okay?" I nod, sure that his fears are unfounded.

"I will," I say.

XxX

"Where is he?" I mutter, looking nervously around me. Syaoran hasn't made an appearance at the arm's room, or anywhere since. Now we are only minutes from departing and I see him nowhere.

"He'll probably be coming soon," Henrik tries to reassure me, but I start playing with my fingers anxiously.

"But where could he be?" I ask, chipping at the paint on my nails. The cry I had been dreading bellows across the courtyard:

"Troupes! Mount up!" I'm already on my own beast, towering over everyone else. "March!" We stay behind a few moments, and I constantly turn my head back to try to find Syaoran in the crowd. Henrik watches the troupes pass with growing anxiety.

"He'll come," he assures me. Kumara and Ashura-ou ride next to us. The king turns his head to me and smiles.

"Aisha," he says, kindly. "Ride with me." It is said politely, but I am not given much option. I hesitate, look at Henrik who urges me on, and guide my dragon-horse beside the king's mount. We ride the first half of the way in silence, and I stretch my neck many times to see if Syaoran is following us. I don't see him. Finally, Ashura-ou speaks.

"Tell me," he says, looking in front of him, "why is it that you fight?" I don't answer right away, prompting him to turn to me. He cocks his head curiously to the side. "If I may know, that is," he adds. I bite my lip and shrug.

"I don't know," I say. "I've always been fighting, really, so I figure why stop now?" He smiles.

"But why do you fight now?" he repeats. I sigh.

"Because Syaoran is, and because we need to find something that might be in that castle."

"So you do not wish for anything?" he says, looking slightly surprised and disappointed. I frown and look down.

"It's not that," I say, pressing my lips together. "I'm just… fighting to get to what I want, and that includes helping Syaoran right now." The king nods, seeming satisfied.

"And where is that thing that you want?" he asks. All these questions are beginning to annoy me.

"Far away from here," I answer. "My family is very far away from here."

"Ah, for those you love then?" he says, and I can almost discern a hint of nostalgia in his eyes. "That is a very noble thing to fight for." I look back once again to try to see Syaoran. Ashura-ou follows my gaze and stops on one of the clan's banners, flying in the wind.

"Flames," he says, chuckling. "Fire. Such a beautiful thing, but so devastating. Fire, blood and war. A horrible thing to have as one's emblem, really."

"No," I protest, shaking my head. "Fire is warmth, and fire protects. Without fire, you cannot cook meals and you cannot light the way at night. Fire is rage, but fire is also love. And you are right, it is beautiful." I think of the Suzuran clan, of Karen-Dayuu's sparks. The god's fire, they called it. Ashura's fire. The king looks at me now, his eyes hovering between amusement and shock. He chooses amusement.

"You have fire in you, you know?" he says, smiling. "It dances in your eyes, and lights your steps. You are a true kin to fire. Yes, when I look at you I can believe that fire is all those things." But what he doesn't say is that he can't see it in himself. I stare into his golden eyes, wondering if I really saw them inhabited by that desperate longing as Yasha-ou was disappearing from our view. Now they seem almost childish, twinkling in the lamplights. I smile shyly.

"And what are you fighting for, Ashura-ou?" I ask. The king's smile vanishes.

"My forefathers have always fought on that battleground," he answers, a bit too formally for my taste.

"So you do not wish for anything?" I repeat his tone from earlier, and the reference brings a smile back on his face.

"I wish for a great many things, most of which I would not desire if I were not fighting this war," he says, nodding. His eyes are distant as he continues, lifting his head to the stars. "Yes, it would be time to end it."

"Ashura-ou…" Kumara's voice says, slightly behind us. We left him behind a few minutes ago. Ashura-ou turns to his general with an enigmatic smile.

"Do you need to rest, Kumara?" he asks, eyeing the general's shoulder. His hand instinctively goes up to hold it.

"No, my place is by your side," he objects proudly.

"You truly are loyal to me," the king answers, almost tenderly, and I think I see Kumara blush.

"Now not the time to chat," he exclaims to hide his trouble. "Where's that kid gone?" I find it hard to believe he's only just noticed Syaoran's absence, seeing the care he's put in monitoring our movements at all times. As though on cue, the sound of galloping hooves emerges behind us. I turn my head to see Syaoran, fully outfitted and ready for battle, rushing towards us at great speed and pulling up beside us, breathless.

"What happened, Syaoran?" Ashura-ou asks, seeming almost worried at the boy's state. I don't ask; it's not like I don't know, or at least suspect what's wrong with him.

"Nothing," he answers, looking up to the king with what is meant to be a reassuring smile, but instead looks painful. "Nothing at all." The king smiles, shaking his head.

"You keep all your troubles inside you. That saddens a certain special someone," he says. I know he must mean Sakura. She's been pretty distraught after Syaoran and I came back from the battlefield last night, insisting that he wasn't taking care of his wounds properly. Syaoran only looks surprised, as though only now grasping that the princess cares for him as well.

"Besides," the king continues, riding off alone, "nothing will change if you keep it all to yourself."

"My lord?" the boy asks, perplexed, as the sovereign leaves. I exchange a glance with him, putting the worry in my eyes that I dare not put in words, but he ignores me and keeps looking at Ashura-ou. Henrik has caught up to us, placing himself beside me. Not far away, Raken is speaking to the group of men around him. Farther, but still too close to my taste is that soldier, the one nobody has named for me, but who according to Raken has a personal grudge against me. His eyes stop on me now, full of hate, and I think I see him inching closer. Thinking of the lieutenant's warning, my hands tighten on the reins. But I shake my head. No, I'm imagining things. He won't try anything tonight, not while Ashura-ou is right there. And I won't let him succeed if he does.

The surface of the world ripples. "…it is time. Victory is at hand," Ashura-ou proclaims, eyeing the appearing battlefield with an anticipating smile. I pass my tongue on my teeth, nervously. Henrik unsheathes his sword. I can't help but wonder why the king is so sure victory is certain tonight, but I don't have time to ask. Yasha's army slowly appears in front of us, Kurogane once again in its lead, Fai not far behind. Once again, without a signal, the men charge. I engage a foot soldier, Henrik at my side, but I have barely had the time to block the enemy's first strike that a blade whistles next to my ear. I jump to the side, sliding off the dragon-horse that offers me some protection from the new blade, but separates me from Henrik at the same time. Again it is my ears that alert me to the threat as a battle cry shoots from a point beside me. This new opponent is pushing me towards the rocks. Still fighting the foot soldier and avoiding the slices from the new enemy, I don't notice the colour of the man's uniform until it is too late. The Yasha soldier falls in front of me, his arm broken, and I turn to the other foe, determined to take care of him just as easily. But it takes my brain a split-second to realize the mistake in my situation: the enemy's uniform isn't black. It's white and red.

It's him.

I don't have time to block his sword; the only thing I can do to avoid being beheaded is to jump back further into a crevice between two rocks, in the same movement trapping myself. A sardonic smile lights the man's face as he steps towards me. His dark brown eyes shine with a murderous spark.

"Not so tough now, eh?" he asks, pointing his sword to my throat. My back hits against a rock, and I know I can't back away any further. The narrow space leaves very little room for manoeuvring an escape. I bite my lip, debating my options. I try to pull myself up the rocks, but his blade traces a bloody line on my thigh and I loose my grip and fall to the ground with a yelp. He now towers above me, his face distorted in anger.

"You were never able to hide the truth from me," he snarls. I pull my knife from my boot and point it towards him. A dagger against a sword. He laughs. "You pathetic thing. You thought you had them all fooled. I won't allow you to bring chaos and weakness into our ranks, destabilize us more with your poisonous words! They haven't seen what I've seen, they won't believe me, well at least from now on we'll be rid of you!"

"No! You don't understand," I say, trying to gain some time to try an escape. I know he wants to kill me. "I have nothing to do with the Yasha clan!"

"Lies, all of them," he says, bending over me. "And you know what? Your friends are next." My grip tightens on my knife when he mentions Sakura and Syaoran. No, he won't hurt them. I won't allow it. I know I don't have much chance, but I shoot to my feet, startling him. His sword slices the air, nearly reaching my throat. By reflex I push him back, all the while thinking of a way to get ride of him. Raken said nothing, not even the king, would stop him. My mind disagrees with him. Death can stop him.

I try to pull my hand back to strike, but it stays glued to his chest. His eyes are wide with fear now, his mouth open like a fish out of water, gasping for air. With some shock I discover my hands are glowing again. But this time, the light isn't silver: it's dark blue. And the light isn't coming from my hands; it's coming from the man's body, entering my own through the link between us. He grabs my wrist, trying to make me let go, but I stay put. It doesn't take me more than two seconds to realize that the light is his life force. I'm killing him.

_Why not? He threatened Syaoran and Sakura._

I press the magic on further, a wave of hate taking over my body. He wanted to kill me. Now he's getting what he deserves.

His skin is turning white as life deserts him. All the while I feel my strength increase, the blue light entering my body. I want that strength, more of it. Always more. A deranged, sadistic laugh bubbles from my lips. His eyes turn to me, desperate.

"St…op…" I hear his voice, dry and raspy, makes its way past his lips. That only word is enough to snap me back, hurtling, to reality.

"Wha… NO!" I pull back, stumbling. I fall against a stone, looking down at my hands in horror. I nearly killed him. I'm shaking, tears filling my eyes. I nearly killed him, and I liked it. What's happening to me?

His gasping, coughing form is lying in front of me. I'm still paralysed by horror when he stands again, his face inhabited by a new, animal rage. Any doubts that might have remained about his intention towards me are gone. I nearly killed him, and now I'm going to die.

"You don't deserve to die this quickly, witch," he says, lifting his sword, ready to plunge it in my heart. At the last second my body finally reacts, lifting my knife to block the strike, but I know it won't be enough. I yelp as blood surges up, hitting my face. I open my eyes when the pain doesn't come, and nearly scream as I see the man fall, an arrow through his neck. I look up.

Fai is standing several steps in front of me, his bowstring still vibrating, his eyes set on the man's body with such revulsion that I can't help but shake. I'm still in shock when the man who is not Fai steps forward, nudges the corpse at my feet with the tip of his boot, and mutters something harshly under his breath, so low that I don't understand. His eyes then turn to me, and he smiles kind-heartedly. I realize that I'm shaking uncontrollably, and that a few tears are streaming down my cheeks. Fai makes no move to harm me; instead he stands there, as though waiting for my response.

"I… guess that makes us even," I manage to utter, trying to calm the quiver in my voice. He nods, shrugs, and urges me to my feet. Hesitantly, I obey, nursing my injured leg. He offers me his hand, but I refuse. I don't want to touch anyone with these hands of mine.

"ASHURA-OU!" I hear above the clamour of the battlefield. The king has marched away from the safety of his usual, protected position. Two Yasha soldiers have taken advantage of this to dive towards him. Without even looking at them, Ashura-ou strikes, sending one and the other flying away. Syaoran's the one who screamed. I desert Fai, suddenly rushing to the boy.

"What's he doing?" I ask, pushing my way through.

"I don't know!" I get as an answer.

"My lord!" Kumara calls, going after his king.

"Stay back," Ashura-ou orders calmly, his eyes still fixed in front of him.

"But!"

"I said stay back." Kumara cringes, as though pushed back by some invisible force. Flames are dancing around Ashura-ou as he slides down his beast and starts calmly walking through the ranks of the Yasha army. The soldiers on either side obviously don't know how to react, and most just stand there, bewildered. Then, as though suddenly realizing their chance, several of Yasha's soldiers lunge for Ashura-ou. He slices through them effortlessly, a smirk on his face. I've never seen him act this way before; even Syaoran and Kumara seem bemused.

"Where is he going?" Syaoran asks. I point a finger in front of us, to the silhouette of a lone rider standing on a rocky asperity.

"I'm not sure, but I think I know," I say. Yasha-ou. So that's what he meant when he said victory was at hand.

The king jumps, but instead of landing beside the other monarch, he hovers gracefully in the air above him. His sword is already clear, but Yasha-ou doesn't react. The two kings only look at each other, until Ashura-ou speaks.

"Yasha-ou," he says, "let us end this. I can fulfill your dream." And he dives, pressing his body against Yasha-ou's, running his flaming sword through him.

Then Ashura-ou's body seems to go limp, exhausted from the effort. The other king finally responds, lifting his hands and wrapping them around Ashura-ou's thin frame. Hugging him.

"Ashura-ou," he says simply, tenderly.

"Ashura-ou!" Syaoran shouts. I shake my head. I don't understand. Why kill him then…?

The king of Shura finally looks up, and brings a hand to touch the other man's face.

"That is a wound I caused," he says gently, caressing Yasha-ou's eye. He begins to lift from the ground again, but Yasha-ou holds his wrist and brings his hand to his lips. Softly, with a sad smile, Ashura-ou leans down and kisses the other king's eye. Yasha-ou's body begins to disappear in soft filaments of light, before dissolving suddenly in a gust of wind, leaving only his clothes and sword in Ashura's arms. From that gust of wind emerges a glowing ball of light. I recognize the energy almost immediately.

"Sakura's feather!" Syaoran exclaims. Ashura-ou doesn't seem to realize the feather's presence, looking down at Yasha-ou's sword. He hugs the sword to his chest almost desperately, but tenderly, as though it was the man and not all that remained of him.

"Come here Syaoran, Aisha," he says. I follow the boy through the Yasha soldiers now splitting to form a path for us. After all, we are the victors.

"Where is… Yasha-ou?" Syaoran asks, panting, as we arrive atop the elevation where the monarch has now fallen to his knees.

"Dead," he answers, sounding far away. "He was dead a very long time ago."

"But, we saw him just now," Syaoran objects. Ashura-ou looks up to the feather glowing above our heads.

"A vision," he says, and this time I can make out tears in his voice. "An illusion, created by the feather, was what we really saw. It was created in his image, as though he were still alive." He closes his eyes. "We have been fighting with the Yasha clan since the beginning of time. Yasha-ou and I were constantly on the battlefield. But then I discovered… that he had fallen victim to a fatal disease. Though we were of equal skill, I managed to wound him grievously. That was because of his severe illness." Even though no word is spoken about this, I can feel the tenderness in Ashura-ou's voice. "One day, he suddenly appeared. He showed up in Shura, before my castle. But, I knew that it was impossible for us to meet outside of the battlefield on the castle of the moon. So I immediately deduced… that Yasha-ou was already dead. It was his spirit that I saw that day. But upon the day after, Yasha-ou showed up at the battlefield. It was an illusion that the feather's power created." I want to fall to my knees and hug Ashura-ou, comfort him, but I don't dare. I can only stand beside Syaoran, clutching my arm to my side.

"Yasha-ou was then gone from my world, but not from my heart. Even though he departed long ago, he left behind nothing but a pale image," the king concludes, looking down sadly at Yasha-ou's sword. He then lifts up a hand, catching the feather and holding it to Syaoran.

"Is this what you've been looking for?" he asks, a small smile on his face, but I know it's fake.

"Yes," Syaoran answers, seeming upset.

"I will return this to you," Ashura-ou says, letting the feather float gently to Syaoran. The boy takes it, surprised. "Has your desire been fulfilled?" the king asks.

"Yes," the boy answers. Ashura-ou smiles proudly, and this time it's sincere. He turns to me.

"I won't ask," he says, "but I truly hope your wish comes true." He stands up, firmly planting his own sword in the ground.

"I, Ashura, am now the master of the castle of the moon," he proclaims loudly. "My desire… my true desire…" Light shoots out from the point where the tip of the sword and the ground meet, and an unnatural wind twirls around us. I can feel the forces battling for dominance, and cringe under the sheer power of both of them. One is Ashura-ou's will, the other is the castle itself; I know before it becomes obvious that one cannot fulfill the other.

The ground shakes under us, cracks, and more light pours into the air from the ground of the castle. Some areas are simply pulverized, leaving blank holes leading to the earth below. Syaoran and I are separated from Ashura-ou by a deep crevice.

"My heart's desire," the king yells, his voice rising above the tempest, "is so vast that not even the castle can fulfill it!" I stumble against Syaoran as the ground shakes again.

"Ashura-ou!" I hear Kumara call. "The castle is collapsing! We must leave!"

"No," Ashura-ou answers, calmly.

"My lord! Hurry!" Kumara insists.

"I said no," Ashura-ou repeats, holding Yasha-ou's sword to his chest and resting his forehead against it. Suddenly, I understand. He doesn't want to leave without Yasha-ou.

The shard of rock Syaoran and I are standing on suddenly jerks back, away from the king. "Ashura-ou!" calls Syaoran. He turns to us.

"Syaoran," he says. "If you give up now, it will all be for nothing. Continue to feed your desires. Become stronger and stronger. Who you are does not matter. What others do to stop you does not matter either. I hope that you will pursue all your hopes and dreams to the fullest." He smiles reassuringly. "And Aisha," he adds, turning to me, "don't be afraid to bring honour to your heritage. Burn bright." Suddenly, a huge boulder tumbles down towards him.

"ASHURA-OU!" Syaoran cries, jumping to the sovereign. His scream is met with mine and Kumara's. Syaoran sword begins to blaze as he brings it down on the boulder, slicing it in two before landing beside Ashura-ou. I would follow, but my injured leg is barely strong enough to carry my weight.

Ashura-ou smiles sadly, cradling Yasha-ou's sword. "My true wish was for Yasha-ou to be resurrected. But of course, that's not possible," he says. I want to cry.

"No one can resurrect the dead, not even those who are called gods," Syaoran says, and I remember Chunyiang's words, back in Koryo. "That's what my father used to say. That's why, within this limited amount of time in our lives, we have to live for the things we believe in no matter what." Ashura-ou looks at him.

"You have a good father," he says. I can barely stand on my own shard of stone anymore, as it gets smaller with every hit with another rock.

"Ashura-ou," I call, and the monarch lifts his head to look at me. "Yasha-ou wouldn't have wanted you to die." I know it won't change anything, but I have to try. Something, anything to get him out of here. But he pays no mind to my words and only smiles, chuckling joylessly.

"You were right," he says, shaking his head. "It was such a pointless war." Stones fall in rain, on and around me, and I feel my footing disappear. Falling back through the air, I see an orange blaze and Syaoran's form is thrown away from the rocks and after me. Ashura-ou stands there, watching us fall with an enigmatic little grin, his long black hair beating in the wind.

"YOUR MAJESTY!" I scream, but I know it's too late. In the end, I don't think he would have wanted to live without Yasha-ou.

The world ripples.

"Aisha!" I hit something hard, that somewhat breaks my fall. I roll on the ground, protecting my head with my arms, but my leg is crushed by the same thing I fell against and I cry out in pain.

"Aisha, are you alright?" I look up to see Henrik, hurriedly jumping up to take his weight off my leg. He's the one who tried to catch me, and we rolled together in the dirt until we stopped, him on top of me. His face is looking down at me, worried.

"I'm fine," I answer, getting up on my own. I don't look to the sky right away, already knowing what I'll see there. Ashura-ou didn't make it out.

The last remnants of the castle shatter in a great ball of light. Everyone looks up, their gazes attracted to the luminosity in the sky. Tears start pooling in my eyes again.

"What happened up there? I saw him guide you to the rocks, but I couldn't…" Henrik starts, but notices I'm not listening to him.

"The king is dead," I choke. His expression goes from worry to shock.

"Ashura-ou is… how…" he begins, but can't finish. I nod.

"He didn't want to leave the castle," I say. Around us, some soldiers are gaping at the hole in the sky, others staggering around in shock. I wipe away a tear.

Ashura-ou was kind to me, to Syaoran and Sakura. He tried to protect me from a world I couldn't understand. He trusted me when no one else did. And I would have liked to show him that fire isn't always blood and war. Fire can be life and love. And in the end, he died for love. That's not a pointless thing to do.

"I'm sorry," I say. I want to put a hand on Henrik's shoulder, but stop. He shrugs.

"It's okay," he answers, his voice hoarse. "I just never thought… he finally won the war and then…"

"I don't think he wanted to win the war," I say, looking up to where the castle used to be. "Not like this anyway." Henrik sends me a puzzled glance. All the magic swirling around us is nearly giving me a headache. Then I sense something else, a softer force, almost like a smell, really.

Lilac.

"Where…?" I turn around brusquely, following the source of the power. Syaoran is lying on a dragon-horse, the Kurogane and Fai from the Yasha clan in front of him. No, not the ones from the Yasha clan, although their clothes are the same.

"This is no good. You have to start training again," Kurogane tells Syaoran. Fai is peeking over the ninja's shoulder.

"You are so strict, Kuro-chan," he laughs. The familiar nickname snaps me out of my stupefaction.

"Fai-san!" I ask, marching to them. "Kuro-sama!"

"Raki-chan!" Fai answers, smiling. "Nice to see you again!"

"Wha… it was you all along?"

"Yup! Aren't you happy to see us?"

"Bastard!" I jump on Fai, tackling him off the dragon-horse and trying to punch him. "And you couldn't tell me?" He laughs, protecting himself with his hands.

"Don't be so mean! It was Kuro-wanwan's idea!"

"Was it Kuro-chii's idea to get Henrik hurt, huh?" I reply, suddenly remembering my hands and placing them securely on the ground, each side of Fai's head. He stops laughing for a moment, eyeing me curiously.

"Who?" he asks.

"Eh? Eh? But those eyes!" Syaoran exclaims, confused. "They are red and blue!" Of course I've already noticed that, but haven't bothered pointing it out. It's a given that Fai's eyes are blue and Kurogane's are red.

"It seems like people's eyes automatically turn black when they enter the Yasha clan's country," Fai explains, pointing to his own eyeballs. "Sorry, but we came here first. We arrived to this country about half a year ahead of you."

"So we missed each other?" Syaoran shouts, bewildered. I shake my head.

"How the hell did you make it?" I ask, remembering my own hellish two weeks without Mokona. They seem to have actually accomplished something of their time here.

"Well, Mokona wasn't there, so Kuro-run and I couldn't communicate," Fai says. "But Kuro-pii knew something about the language of the Yasha clan. So I left the talking to Kuro-tan, and I worked on things that didn't require speech."

"Yeah, like spearing innocent people with arrows," I say, glaring down at him. He smiles apologetically, holding his hands up in a peace offering. But I can tell he's still confused.

"But, if you would have told us when we bumped into you on the castle of the moon…!" Syaoran says, visibly confused.

"Ah, that was Kuro-pui's idea. He said that if Syaoran-kun knew it was us, he wouldn't fight for real," Fai explains.

"And I wouldn't have nearly killed you, just saying," I mutter, hovering between rage at having been held away from this, and relief at finally finding them again.

"Oh… that's why…" Syaoran realizes, sliding to his feet. "Thank you." He bows to Kurogane.

"What for?" the ninja asks, puzzled.

"All these fights were for improving my sword fighting skills, weren't they? I thank you," Syaoran replies, straight-faced. The ninja seems surprised, then turns away with a grunt. Fai smiles a devilish grin.

"Woah! Kuro-sama is shy!" he squeals.

"Who the hell are you calling shy?" Kurogane growls, unsheathing his sword but stopping inches from me. Fai breathes a fake sigh of relief.

"Fiou! Thank you, Strawberry!" he says. "But, um… would you mind getting off of me?" I blush, suddenly realizing that I am still sitting on Fai's stomach, pinning him to the ground. I stand up, looking down. I don't offer a hand to help the mage get back to his feet.

"Aisha?" Henrik's voice makes me turn, and I can tell by his expression that he's been listening for a while. "You… you know them?" I sigh.

"Wish I didn't, but yes," I admit. "And it's not my fault, I would have told you; but they made me believe they were someone else all that time!" I add, very clearly glaring at Fai and Kurogane. Henrik laughs nervously, eyeing Fai with some apprehension.

"Well, aren't you glad you didn't kill him now?" he tries unconvincingly, passing a hand in his hair. Fai smiles brightly.

"So you're Henrik, then? Hello!" he says, waving. "Sorry about that arrow." Henrik waves hesitantly back, sending me confused glances. I shake my head hopelessly.

"He's harmless, most of the time," I explain.

"Syaoran-kun! Aisha!" Sakura suddenly bursts into the clearing, running, Mokona in her arms. His eyes open. She stops in surprise when she sees the mage and ninja beside us. "Fai-san! Kurogane-san!"

"Long time no see, Sakura-chan!" Fai answers, waving. I frown. What is she doing here? But I don't have the time to ask, as the feather in Syaoran's hand begins to float towards the princess. Gently, it penetrates her chest, and she falls back. Syaoran catches her. I sigh in relief. At least that's one thing over and done with.

"The feather has returned," Syaoran says, hugging the princess softly. Henrik turns to me, still seeming confused.

"So… you are from the Yasha clan?" he asks, and I detect hurt in his voice.

"No!" I protest, "I wouldn't have lied to you. They're…" I look at Fai and Kurogane, "they're Yasha soldiers for the same reason I fought with the Ashura clan."

"To find you, then," he says, taking a step forward, a sad smile on his lips. "And that feather." I nod.

"Yeah," I sigh. "See, we got separated…"

"You don't have to explain," he says. "I believe you. And if you're happy to find them, I'm happy you found them." I try to smile, but all I manage to do is not to cry. Because I know what's coming now that we're all back together.

Mokona, now in Fai's arms, starts floating in the air. I look at him nervously, then at Henrik.

"I have to go," I say, taking a step back, towards the others. He sees Mokona, then seems to understand.

"Now?" he asks anxiously, and I know he feels the same way I do. I don't like saying goodbye on such a short notice either, but what choice do we have?

"I'm sorry," I say, shaking my head. "I have to."

"We… When are you coming back?" he asks. I bite my lip, my eyes apologetic.

"I'm not… I don't think I will…" I say, afraid that he'll try to stop me. But he takes in the whole lot of us with his eyes, and suddenly, he smiles softly.

"This is what you want to choose," he understands. I nod. Please don't make this harder than it has to be, please…

Henrik opens his arms. "A little hug goodbye?" I want to wrap my arms around him in a bear hug, nearly choke him to thank him for all he's done for me, but I can't. So I safely hold my hands behind my back.

"Thank you," I say, closing the gap between us and resting my head on his shoulder. I sigh. It feels good here. But I feel Mokona's magic reaching its pinnacle, and I know I'll be disappearing soon.

"Say bye to Raken for me, okay?" I ask.

"That won't be necessary, little woman," a voice rings to my ears. I look up to see Raken's smile. "I wish you best fortune on your journey." I smile.

"Now go," Henrik says, nudging me back. For a moment I think he'll leave it at that but then he speaks again. "I'll really miss you, you know," he says, blushing slightly.

"I will too," I assure him. And I run to the others.

"Finally on the move again?" I hear Kurogane say, sounding almost relieved. Of course, they've been waiting to leave for almost six months now. Reaching the others I turn back, to look at the pair of brothers one last time. I wave shyly. Before I can react, a hand grabs me from behind and slams me against something hard. My first instinct is to struggle, until I realize that it's Fai, holding us all trapped in a big group hug. I'm stuck between Kurogane and Syaoran, the air slowly being sucked out of me.

"What the hell are you doing?" Kurogane growls next to my ear, talking to the wizard. Fai smiles innocently.

"I don't want us to get separated again!" he explains joyously. Despite the lack of air in my lungs, I find myself laughing. They'll never change.

"Wait!" Kumara's voice stops us just as we are disintegrating. The general eyes are misty, and I think I can see a tear. I can't help but feel bad for him. He really loved Ashura-ou. "You people really are involved with the Yasha clan!" His boomerang is ready to strike.

"No, you're wrong," Syaoran answers calmly. "But even if it was so, the two kings are not here anymore." This stops Kumara, who seems on the verge of tears again. "If you find the remains of the kings," Syaoran says, holding Sakura tighter, "or part of a memento, don't separate them. Burry them together." If separated in life, at least together in death.

"Hey Aisha!" Henrik calls at the last moment. He's grinning. "Say hi to your brother and sister for me, when you see them!" I wave goodbye, returning his smile.

"I will!" I call back, nestling myself comfortably between Kurogane and Fai as the world disappears from our view. Finally, on the move again.


	29. Breaking Down Walls

DISCLAIMER: do I really have to say it again? I don't own TRC.

Okay, so this is a double update, and I have no idea when I'll be able to publish another one (hopefully soon, but I'm a desperately inconsistent writer)

Please take note, for all of the Piffle Arc: my technical knowledge = zero. I'm making this up. The sad part is, I should know part of this stuff, but I don't. So please, bear with me on this. I'm totally winging it (pun intended)

And to all of you who comment, thank you so much! ^_^ I love you!

The familiar lights of the Yuuka district blind me for a moment, but that isn't where we stop. The next thing I know, we crash in a mountain of flowers, which luckily cushions our fall.

"Damn… I forgot about this part," I groan, standing up in a shower of white blooms. Around me, everyone is covered in flowers, almost like in an apparition from heaven. It takes Syaoran little time to recognize the place.

"This is… the country of Shara?" he exclaims, seeming bewildered.

"It is?" I ask, looking around us. The clothing looks the same than in Shara, but this is definitely not the Yuuka district. We seem to be in some sort of shrine, all decorated for celebration. Colourful banners fly in the wind, flower petals float in the air, a crowd presses itself around us in what seems to be endless bliss. The atmosphere here is so different than that of the battlefield that I can barely believe it's real.

"Safely landed! Perfect score!" Mokona exclaims, landing with a small 'pit' on Kurogane's head, Fai clapping in the background. The ninja looks ready to massacre the fur-ball. I can't help but agree; how come we never get the smooth landing?

"We've returned here?" Sakura asks in a small voice. I'm surprised she's awake so soon after gaining a feather; then again, she has slept an awful lot these past days. What also surprises me is the presence of members of the Suzuran clan in the crowd. I've already figured that this must be the shrine we've heard so much about during our first stay here, but then why would the Suzuran clan be allowed into it? Not far away, I see a monk deep in friendly conversation with an acrobat, offering her flowers. And yet they were at war with each other last time we came by; what could've happened?

"Ah, guests!" I turn towards the voice. Several woman are looking curiously at us, all of which I recognize from the circus. Even 'Hina' and 'Hinata' are there, but they show no sign of recognition. "Where are you from?" the first woman to speak asks. If they notice the blood stains on our clothing, they don't show it.

"Er…" Syaoran starts, exchanging confused glances with me and Sakura. I shrug. He looks around to the men and woman mingling happily as though nothing ever separated them. "I… I've heard that the people from the shrine and people from the Yuuka district…" he starts, visibly trying to grasp what has happened. A man comes to join us.

"Well, as you can see," he begins with a smile, wrapping his arm around the closest woman's shoulders.

"We went on touring performances around the Yuuka district," she finishes for him, placing a hand on his chest.

"Whenever we encounter a problem, the men from the shrine always help out," a younger woman adds.

"Hey! As long as it's something we can do, just call us and we will answer!" the man says in false modesty.

"Yeah!" a girl cheers behind him.

"You stud!" another exclaims.

"They get along very well," Mokona notices, poking his head between Sakura and Syaoran. I shake my head in disbelief. This can't be the same Shara we went to, that's impossible.

"This place is different from the Shara country we went to," Syaoran mumbles, thoughtful.

"You mean it's the same place, but in a different dimension?" Fai asks, leaning in closer. I shrug.

"But can things be this similar in two different worlds?" I reply, and Sakura shrugs. Suddenly, a thunder of applause and cheers erupts behind us.

"What's that about?" Kurogane says gruffly, turning to see the cause of the commotion.

"You are in luck, travellers!" a woman says. "Today is a wedding day!" Well, that explains all the decorations. I turn around to see why everyone is screaming, and catch a glimpse of what must be the bride and groom through the crowd. My breath catches in my throat. No… really?

"Suzuran-chan!" Sakura exclaims, visibly as surprised as I am.

"Isn't that the priest?" Kurogane asks Fai. The mage shrugs. I smile.

"Souseki-sama, right?" I say, craning my neck to get a better view. He's tall and thin, a pair of small glasses perched precariously on his nose. He's not the most handsome man I've ever seen, but the way he looks at Suzuran… I know I was right. To him, she is the most precious thing in the world. My eyes turn to Suzuran. In her flowing white gown, she is beautiful. Her smile alone is enough to light the scene around us. Nothing remains of the tired woman crying before the statue of the guardian god that failed her.

"Perfect!" the man behind us now exclaims. "Today is a good day! Today is also the founding day of our gods!"

"Look closely! Our guardian gods!" the woman beside him echoes, as they show us a space framed by curtains. Peering in closer, I gasp. This is just weird…

I remember the statue of Ashura, of course, seeing as I've seen the original quite often these past weeks. I've never seen the other statue, however, but I can recognize the features of Yasha-ou on the stone. The same sword Ashura-ou would not leave after the other king's death is in its arms. Both statues sit in harmony on the same lotus flower, stone flames sprouting around them. I smile softly. So they were finally allowed to be together.

"They've been together like this since the time we first dug them out," the woman explains.

"Yeah. Because it is said that they shouldn't be separated!" the man adds.

"Thanks to the protection of those two gods, the country of Shara can be prosperous and peaceful," the woman concludes. Syaoran and Fai are also smiling. Suddenly, Mokona hops from Syaoran's shoulder and lands in front of the statues.

"Hey hey, look!" he exclaims, pointing at a box laid before the statues. We lean in to get a better look, and Syaoran, Sakura and I have the same motion of surprise.

"Huh?" we cry out as one. In the box, securely tucked away, is the braided wig Syaoran wore, a flower hairpiece I distinctly remember seeing on Sakura, and the vermilion silk shirt I've worn both in Shara and Shura.

"These are…" Sakura says, bringing a hand to her mouth in shock.

"We've worn these…" Syaoran continues, too low for the man and woman to hear him. They lean in with us now.

"Those are the sacred objects," the woman says, smiling. The man passes a hand through his hair.

"They were placed here for worship a long time ago," he explains. We all look at each other in incomprehension. The man chuckles. "I guess there's a reason for these," he adds, not sounding too convinced.

"Hey, over there are our masters!" the woman suddenly exclaims, pointing at Suzuran and Souseki-sama finally exiting the crowd. She turns to us apologetically. "We don't have time to talk right now."

"The ceremony for the bride and groom is about to begin!" someone in the crowd yells.

"Let's go!" the man says, pulling the woman after him. She follows, waving back at us.

"There'll be a reception! Come and join us!" she offers. They run off. We wait until they've disappeared from earshot until we speak again.

Fai looks curiously at the box. "You three have worn these in the past?" he asks, and we nod in unison.

"The people from Yuuka in the country of Shara gave these to us," Sakura says.

"We took them off when we changed clothes in Shura," Syaoran adds. "And then…"

"You mean you left them in the country of Shura?" Fai asks, pointing at the box. Once again, we nod. The mage cocks his head to the side, thoughtful. Syaoran looks away in the distance, seemingly pondering something.

"Didn't Shura look like a past reflection of Shara?" he asks, startling me. Now that I think about it, they did have odd similarities. But for them to be the same world at different times?

"What's going on?" Kurogane asks. Syaoran frowns.

"We arrived in the country of Shara first," he says. "After that, what if we went to the country of Shara's past, the country of Shura? And then, we came back to the country of Shara?"

"It's still the same place, but we travelled to the past and then came back to the present," Fai understands. "So are you saying only time shifted?"

"No," I say, shaking my head. "Some things here don't make sense."

"Yes, like why did the country of Shara change so much?" Sakura says, looking around.

"The men and women used to be on very bad terms," Mokona reminds us.

"And the statues," I add. "They used to be separated, and yet we're being told they've always been together." Syaoran looks at the statues of Yasha and Ashura, deep in thought.

"Then maybe…" he mutters, suddenly in shock. Something hits me then.

"Wait a second," I say, turning to Syaoran. "Didn't you tell Kumara that if they ever find remains of the kings, or anything to remember them by…" _Bury them together. _The consequence of this revelation sinks in. My eyes widen.

"The future has been rewritten, hasn't it?" Fai asks, more as a statement than a question, his smile sombre for a moment.

"Oh?" Kurogane says gruffly.

"In the country of Shara that we first went to, the statue of Ashura stood alone," Syaoran says.

"So did the statue of Yasha," confirms Fai.

"What we, travellers from the future, have said in the past, was carried out closely by the people of the Ashura clan. They didn't separate the statues but put them together to be worshipped," Syaoran concludes. I reach to the statue of Ashura, remembering the first time I touched it; it was warm, too warm for stone. And I know now, it was calling – for someone who could hear, who could repair what had been done. It was calling to fire. I smile. And fire came.

"They would have wanted it this way," I say, letting my fingers brush on the stone, now cool as it should be. There is no more reason to call. Ashura can rest in peace.

"Not to mention," Fai adds to Syaoran's reflection, "that placing the two statues together did not cause any strange phenomenon. Because they did not cause any strange things to happen, the people from the shrine and Yuuka district didn't have a reason to fight each other."

"And it ends up like this," Kurogane concludes, sternly, pointing towards the cheering crowd and newlyweds. I smile hopelessly at him.

"Could you be a little more romantic?" I scold him.

"That's great, though!" Sakura cheers. "Everyone is so happy!"

"But…" Syaoran protests, and we all turn to him.

"Syaoran-kun?" Sakura asks, and he smiles as though nothing happened.

"No… nothing," he says. I wonder what happened to Henrik, if truly we are in the future of his country. Did we change his future as well, simply by being there, or by causing peace between the two rival factions? Did I change what his future would have been? If so, was it better or worse than his original fate? As though an answer, music breaks into the crowd of people, and I recognize the tune; the one Henrik played on my first morning in Shura, and again today, as we were talking in the sunrise. I smile. I hope the music is a good omen.

"Hey, white manjuu," Kurogane tells Mokona, who now resides on his head, "why didn't you drop us in the country of Shura in the first place? That way, even the country of Yama that the Yasha clan resided in would-" He doesn't have the time to finish his sentence, as the fur-ball's mouth opens wide, sucking in the very air we breathe. Wind roars around the statues of Ashura and Yasha, and two swords appear from the stone only to rush past us and into Mokona's mouth.

"Ashura-ou and Yasha-ou's swords!" Syaoran exclaims. The world is silence again, and all we hear is the small sound of Mokona swallowing the swords. The fur-ball sits back contentedly on Kurogane's head.

"One of Mokona's 108 secret abilities!" he croons. "Super magnetism!"

"It's not a secret anymore, is it!" Kurogane roars, trying to slap Mokona off. The fur-ball only giggles, avoiding the blow.

"Swallowing the guardian gods' swords…" Syaoran starts, still bewildered.

"Is that really okay?" Sakura concludes, in the same state. Fai shrugs.

"Probably not," he says with a laugh, not seeming to care the slightest bit. I shake my head hopelessly. Suddenly, a wave of cheering shakes the crowd and we turn around to see Karen-Dayuu atop a ladder, showering the audience with small flames. Everyone in the crowd seems to have been brought back to an almost childlike state, trying to catch the sparks before they die out in their hands.

"They're beautiful! Like a shower of petals!" Sakura marvels. Syaoran smiles.

"Yeah," he agrees. Kurogane starts marching determinedly towards the crowd.

"Let's go to the reception," he decides, without bothering to consult us. Fai laughs.

"Kuro-run really wants a drink," he says. I look at him, sceptic.

"Oh, and you don't want to?" I say with a grin. He shows me his angelic face.

"No, after last night, I'm good," he answers, and I sigh. Why everything has to turn around alcohol, I don't know.

Mokona's wings sprout unexpectedly before Kurogane has a chance to reach the party.

"Wah…?" Sakura exclaims.

"So soon?" I ask. The whirlwind twirls around us, ripping off tiny pieces of matter as it goes. With a laugh, Fai grabs Kurogane by the collar and drags him back here.

"No!" the ninja protests. "We are here! Let me grab a drink at least!" The mage ignores him and turns around to me, reaching for my hand. I hurriedly shift away, letting him grab hold of my elbow. He eyes me curiously for a second, then turns to Syaoran with a broad grin.

"Hey Syaoran-kun!" he calls over the wind. "Don't get separated from Sakura-chan. Hold on tight!" Both blushing, the kids softly grab each other's hand and look at each other. Syaoran smiles kindly, and Sakura's blush gets deeper. I send one last glance to Suzuran and Souseki; now pressed close to one another, they nurse one of Karen-Dayuu's flames in their joined hands. Souseki-sama looks at Suzuran the same way Syaoran looks at Sakura – like she is more precious to him than life itself. I guess that's what love really is.

"We wish you will be happy together," I hear Syaoran say.

"Best fortune," I add, stealing Raken's expression. Fai's hand squeezes my arm gently as we disappear from this world.

XxX

If there is any way for us to stand out more than we do now, I wish we never find it. Because this is ridiculously awkward.

"What are you looking at?" Kurogane growls at a group of pre-teens, who shriek in terror and scatter under his gaze. I sigh.

"Leave them alone, they're not the only ones," I tell the ninja. "Now come on, we're trying to find out something useful."

"What would be useful is for them to get a few lessons on manners," he grumbles. "Like how it's rude TO STARE AT PEOPLE!" he roars, eyeing the general population that seems to have made it its duty not to leave us unattended at any time. When a group of people finally tire of watching us, all wide-eyed, another takes its place.

Syaoran's face is beet red. "Um… maybe we should…" he mutters, visibly trying to find a worthy compromise. Mokona laughs.

"We sure stand out!" he exclaims joyfully, as though it was a good thing. I shake my head. It's true that our Shura and Yama battle gear doesn't quite fit in with the clothes of the locals, and the addition of weapons and a few bloodstains doesn't help in the eyes of this neatly-trimmed populace.

"Let's just look for food," I offer. "I'm starving." That is, if they agree to serve us anywhere. If the general reaction is any indicator, I say we may have some way to go before being granted access to a food court.

"All right then! We are off to find some food!" Fai proclaims, grabbing Kurogane by the collar and dragging him in a random direction. I sigh. Even more people are staring now that Fai and Kurogane are making spectacles of themselves. I notice that they seem much more tolerant of each other now than before, however, and that amongst the teasing and growling one can sometimes glimpse a flash of camaraderie between the two men.

"I SAID NOT TO DRAG ME LIKE THAT! DIE!" Well, I did say sometimes.

"Um, Kurogane-san, Fai-san," Sakura interrupts timidly. "I think I may have found a place where they sell food." Half of the people on the street follow her arm as it points to a nearby neon sign.

"It's the same writing as in my country," she explains, blushing. "It says it's a restaurant." Syaoran nods in agreement. I look to the sky and the looming buildings overhead with a grunt.

"Then what are we waiting for?" I ask, leading our group through the busy square, towards the sign. This isn't hard, considering all the attention we attract to ourselves. People seem to part before us without too much prompting; and if we reach an obstacle, one look from a disgruntled Kurogane is usually enough to dissolve the problematic cluster in an instant.

"_Ladies and gentlemen,_" a booming voice suddenly erupts among the loud pop music blasting in the square. The large floating screens around us animate, showing clips of cheering crowds and thrown confetti. "_Don't forget to buy your tickets to see the Dragonfly race of the year, here in our very own city of Piffle!_" Images of flying cars light up the screens. "_The suspense! The bravery! The grandeur of it all! Watch as the best racers on the planet compete to see who will earn the unique prize offered this year!_"The music becomes victorious, and a golden trophy twirls on-screen. "_This exceptional source of energy never fails to deliver, and anyone could be the lucky winner of this amazing opportunity!_" The trophy melts into another object, and this time I stop my march to get a better look. No. Impossible. "_Sign up today, racers! Don't miss it! This event is sponsored by Piffle Princess, who let's _you_ wear the crown!_" Half of the square has frozen, to better look at us look at the screens.

"Sakura's feather!" Syaoran exclaims, staring at the screen before us with wide eyes. I nod.

"Yup," I say, still shaken. "It's that easy." The prize everyone will be competing for, the exceptional source of energy, is very recognizable as it twirls on the screens around us. There's no way to mistake it for something else. It's one of Sakura's feathers.

I look at Fai and Kurogane, and then we all turn to Syaoran, but he ignores us. His eyes grow coldly determined as he watches Sakura's feather appear on every screen in the square. I sigh, resigned.

"We're going to win that race," the four of us announce as one. And most of the square to applaud our declaration.

XxX

"_Well, well, well," the voice says. "Look who's here. My own little sorceress. Lovely. I was getting bored, without anyone to break. And there you are." There's a laugh. My body is paralysed, I can't move, can't even utter a sound. Yet I manage to shudder. _

"_You thought you could escape me. You thought you could escape yourself, didn't you?" Whispers, sickly sweet and cold. "But you tasted blood. You liked it. I know what it feels like, you soulless shell. I remember. You still had enough self-control to break it before he died, but that won't last long. Oh, I know that look, sweet monster of mine. And don't think that the so-called friendship you share with these little companions of yours will change anything. You're a dangerous little creature, although you don't look it now. Actually, I do pity the poor fools. They were finally free of you, and now they're back to where they were before, doomed to die because of you." I feel a breath next to my ear, and can almost see the lips curling into a bloodthirsty smile. "You know what? I think I just had an idea, one that'll save me much effort in getting rid of you. I found just the thing to break you. The little control you have won't last forever, you know, and when it dies, how much do you want to bet your little friends will be around?" I want to escape, scream, tell the voice to stop talking, to leave me alone, to stop telling lies. I want to dive in someone's arms and stay there until the night passes away. What the voice is saying is too horrible to be true. It chuckles._

"_When will you finally realize that you are much more like me than you'll ever admit?" it says, satisfied. There's a slight pressure on my neck, but no deathly embrace. "I'll leave you alone for tonight," it says. "Well, not really alone, after all." Something heavy falls on me, and I can finally move. I struggle against the new object, feeling a heavy liquid ooze from it and trickle down my body, until I manage to roll it to the side. I start to shake as I realize what it is. A body. Dead. Its blood on my hands. Against my will, I peer in closer to the bloodstained face and scream._

XxX

"Syaoran's not up yet?" I ask, pulling my head out of the stinky mess the people here call an engine. Really, it's just a bunch of nuts and bolts to me.

"No, not yet," Sakura answers, walking down the stairs that lead outside. She shakes her head with a smile. "It's not often Syaoran-kun's the last one out of bed."

"Yeah, well he just officially missed breakfast," I announce, wiping my greasy hands on my pants. "Lunch is on the table, you can grab something on your way out."

"How do you do all this?" she marvels, taking a sandwich. "You're always working on your dragonfly, and you still find the time to make all the meals and clean around…"

"Hey, just keeping busy," I say, smiling. "And besides, Fai-san helps around sometimes, and I'm almost done my little personal upgrades." I flash a devilish grin. "Wouldn't want to make it easy on the other contestants, now would we?" She laughs.

"Do you want us to get you anything while we're out?" she offers, as Kurogane walks down the stairs and presses the button to make them rise again, exposing a smooth underbelly that serves as door. I think about it for a moment.

"Well, I could always use another one of these," I say, brandishing a short, bright blue tube. My secret weapon. "I busted this one trying to install it." I laugh sheepishly. "And good morning to you too, Kuro-tan-sama." My answer is a grunt.

"You should be more careful with your parts," he scolds me gruffly. "We don't have that much money, you know." Sakura runs to him as he steps in the car.

"See you later!" she calls, and I wave. Kurogane pushes the key in the ignition, with the clumsy confidence of someone who's only done it three or four times before. He won't admit it, but I think he still half-expects the thing to blow up in his face. His fears almost come true as the car heaves, coughs once, twice, and then puffs out a cloud of grey smoke before settling back on the ground.

"Kid!" Kurogane yells, waving the smoke away angrily. I run to them, laughing.

"Having engine troubles, sir?" I call teasingly under Kurogane's scowl, opening the hood of the car. I reach for the electric box, snap it open, arrange a few wires and slap it shut. "Here you go, all better!" I announce. "I really want to know where Fai got that car; it was unnaturally cheap, and I'm starting to know why," I laugh. Sakura looks to me in wonder.

"How do you know so much about the machines here?" she asks, bewildered. I grin.

"I, contrarily to everyone else in this household, actually read the instructions manual," I say, pulling the small book out of my pocket. "You have no idea how similar cars and dragonflies are." The main difference is that one's primary source of power is electricity, and it must be charged every now and then to work; the other's is wind, and it gains its energy as it flies. "I've been trying to work on this car since we got it," I grimace, "but the electric box is garbage. If you think about it, you might want to pick one up while you're out for parts."

"Yes!" Sakura exclaims determinedly, "we'll definitely find one!" I laugh, and Kurogane turns the key in the ignition again. This time the car roars to life, and the princess waves goodbye for a second time as Kurogane cautiously steers them onto the ramp and out of my sight. I walk back to the carcass of my dragonfly and slouch against it with a tired sigh. Sakura's right, I barely know how I do so much myself.

Our mobile house is perched on a platform, overlooking some of the tallest buildings in Piffle. There's some of every shape and colour, big and small, and the strange bird-like shapes in the sky are actually flying cars. Dragonflies, they are called. The entire city is built on levels – ramps grant access from one level to another, as do elevators placed in buildings. Each ramp is a miniature street of its own, with shops and traffic and people running around and screaming at each other. Ours is in a residential area, not nearly so busy. I watch the sky. Hovering between two buildings, a screen sends static to whoever watches it. Most places have clouds. Piffle has screens.

We're high enough that wind seems to be constantly blowing through our workplace, and I let it run through my hair, closing my eyes. I throw my head back and bathe in the sun for a few blessed moments, enjoying the relative silence we are entitled to as residents of the middle levels of Piffle.

"Raki-birdy-pinky-chan!" Fai's voice calls, and I see him lean over from a second-story window and waving enthusiastically. "We're coming down!" I grunt, and begin fiddling with the parts of my dragonfly, giving my hands something to do. Fai bursts from the house, not even waiting for the stairs to come down all the way. Mokona bounds after him. He grabs a sandwich from the table and takes a big bite out of it.

"Mmhm!" he exclaims. "So good, and so soon after breakfast too! Why didn't Little-birdy-sama ask me and Mokona to help? We weren't doing anything, only fooling around." He exchanges a smile with Mokona, and they both laugh. I shake my head.

"I didn't ask because I didn't need help," I answer. "And don't you think you can lay off the nicknames a little? I mean, you were never that bad before…" He smirks.

"Awww, but I haven't seen you in six months! Can't I have a little fun?" he asks, looking in all ways innocent. But I know better.

"You've been worst on Kuro-sama too," I notice, "and you've seen him for those six months." Fai waves my arguments away.

"Yes, but I couldn't very well talk to him then, could I?" he replies devilishly. "So I'm taking advantage of this." I roll my eyes. He laughs. "Come on, I'm happy to finally see you!" I'm happy to see him too, so much that I can't say it in words, but I grunt unconvincingly. He eyes me amusedly and taps the table beside him.

"Take a break," he offers, sitting down. "You've been working all morning, I'll bet." I pretend to dig through a box of supplies, ducking my head to hide my expression.

"No, I've taken breaks," I say. Truth is, I have been working all morning – either cleaning or cooking or upgrading my custom vehicle. I just like keeping my hands busy.

"Well then, take another one," the mage replies without ticking, pulling out a chair for me. "The race isn't for another day, you can spare a few minutes of work," he insists before my hesitation. I sigh, giving in.

"Fine, a few minutes," I agree, letting myself fall on the chair Fai is offering me. He pretends I don't see his little satisfied grin as he pushes the plate of sandwiches my way.

"Hungry?" he asks.

"I already ate," I answer. One of his eyebrows lifts in a faint arch.

"Did you?" he asks, nudging the plate, and I feel pink come up to my cheeks as I turn my head away to avoid his gaze. How could he know I haven't eaten?

"I'll eat later," is all I say. I curl my right leg under the chair. His fingers drum on the table.

"You haven't eaten much at all, since we've found you," he notices. "Is everything all right?" I shrug it off.

"It's only been two days," I tell him. "And with all that food we were being served in Shura, I'm surprised I didn't gain twenty pounds." I laugh, trying to turn this into a joke. Fortunately, Fai takes that opportunity.

"You were so lucky," he says with a smile. "In Yama, we were living on bread and cheese most of the time. Ah, the hard life of a soldier…" he deplores, shaking his head. I roll my eyes with a grunt.

"At least you weren't alone," I say. "You have no idea what it's like to be stuck someplace where you can't even understand a word that's being said, and everyone thinks you're a freak, and you don't know where Mokona is but you know he's far away, and…" _you're not sure he's ever coming back, and you might be stuck there alone forever… _

Fai eyes me amusedly. "Wanna bet?" he asks. I mentally slap myself.

"Okay, so you know exactly what it's like," I say. "Still, you had Kuro-tan for sanity boosting." He smiles at me.

"You didn't seem to stay lonely very long yourself," he says, stretching across the table. "What was his name again… Harry?"

"Henrik," I sigh. "Stop making fun of him, please." I know the mage only acts as if he can never remember Henrik's name to tease me, but I don't like it. It's only been two days, and I already miss the boy from Shura, with his easy laugh and reassuring presence. For some strange reason, Fai takes every opportunity to tease him in front of me. I already forgave him for not telling me who he was on the battlefield, and for hurting Henrik when he was only doing his job. I might have harmed one of his friends too, without knowing it. So I can't very well blame him for something that wasn't his fault.

We stay silent for a moment. I have to say something, if only to break the oppressing sound of the wind whistling in our ears.

"I… uh… I guess I never did thank you for shooting that man," I say, softly, almost hoping he didn't hear. But he shrugs.

"Like you said, it made us even," he answers with a smile. "No need to thank me." I remember the mage's face as his arrow shot through the man's neck. Hate and disgust mingled, for a reason I hadn't understood then. But of course, he had known it was me all along. So he had save my life. Whereas I had nearly taken his.

"I'm sorry," I say. Fai chuckles.

"You don't have to be sorry for saying thank you, Pinky-strawberry-chan," he says, and the nickname tells me that the hint of a serious conversation we had is over. I sigh, and a low grumble erupts from my stomach. Fai laughs, throwing his head back. Before I can react, he's grabbed a sandwich from the plate in front of us, and now holds it up to my mouth.

"Eat," he orders playfully. I shake my head, once again feeling my cheeks go pink. He brings the sandwich closer, so that it nearly touches my lips. "I know you're hungry," he teases. I want to take the sandwich myself, but Fai's hand is too big for me to avoid it. So I have no choice but to open my mouth and take a bite while Fai holds up my lunch for me.

"There you go," he says, satisfied, then once again pushes the food to my lips. "Now eat the rest." I shake my head, and I know that my face must be red by now. He chuckles, teasing me. "Come on, open your mouth again," he says. I reluctantly take another bite. The food is good, and it's true that I'm hungry.

"Aisha's eating from Fai's hand!" Mokona squeals, jumping around us. "How cute! Just like a real birdie!" At these words my eyes widen, and I jump back. I had almost forgotten about the little fur-ball.

"Ah!" I yelp, rising to my feet. "You! Go wake up Syaoran, make yourself useful!" I exclaim, pointing at Mokona. "And you! I'm not… I…" I can't find my words. "I'm not hungry," I finally stammer, turning on my heels and running to the dragonflies. I pretend not to hear Fai's laughter following me there.

I crouch behind Syaoran's vehicle, pretending to rummage through a toolbox. But I'm cursing under my breath and biting my lip, still confused as to why this was so embarrassing. I don't even think I would have ran off if it wasn't for Mokona's comment. All I know is that it was suddenly imperative to get away from Fai and his hazardous sandwiches. Vital, even.

The familiar whiz of the lowering staircase reaches my ears.

"Good morning," I hear Syaoran say.

"Morning!" Mokona echoes.

"Morning…" Fai greets them, and I can hear the smile in his voice.

"Hello," I say, peeking from behind Syaoran's dragonfly and waving. Syaoran waves back.

"Syaoran's awake!" Mokona announces, as though it wasn't already obvious.

"You're great, Mokona!" Fai says, giving the fur-ball a kiss.

"Sorry, I slept in," Syoran apologizes. Fai chuckles.

"You're very tired, I suppose," he says.

"Syaoran is always so full of energy!" Mokona adds. Syaoran looks around.

"Where are Sakura-hime and Kurogane-san?" he asks.

"They're off shopping, because we didn't have enough parts for these," Fai says, designating the dragonflies and standing up. I follow his example, but have to stop a moment and lean against Syaoran's vehicle. It doesn't last long, so nobody notices.

"We've got to win this race no matter what," Fai continues, "because the prize is Sakura-chan's feather."

"Yup," I say, throwing a wrench towards Syaoran. "Think fast!" He catches it. "But your dragonflies won't finish themselves, you know, so you better start working."

"Why, you sure are brutal this morning!" Fai laughs. I glare at him, which makes him laugh even louder. Syaoran's gaze follows each of us curiously, then looks at Mokona who only smiles smugly.

"Syaoran would know if Syaoran hadn't slept in," he says teasingly. But the boy doesn't insist, and neither I nor Fai seem particularly eager to inform him. We all get to work in a few minutes, each adding their own upgrades and modifications to our vehicles. The rules of the race specify that each dragonfly must be unique, personalized by the owner. Racing dragonflies aren't even available fully equipped, forcing the racer to work on it himself.

I've found myself in a sitting position by the time the sun is lowering in the sky, which is much more comfortable than standing. I'm painting small designs on the hood of my dragonfly, which is rather pointless except for the fact that I want mine to look as good as it will be. Besides, I can't do anything worthwhile before Sakura and Kurogane arrive with more parts, and they seem to be taking their time.

"You know," Fai says during one of his many breaks, "we came to a strange country again. Boxes are flying in the sky and running around on the ground."

"Cars!" I call to him. "They're called cars, how many times do I have to tell you?" He grins at me.

"Sorry, I don't know what cars are," he replies, laughing. I shake my head hopelessly.

"When I talk to you, does it just go in one ear and then out the other?" I ask, not really expecting an answer.

"Maybe," he says innocently, flashing an angelic smile. I roll my eyes with a grunt.

"But this is a peaceful country," Syaoran argues. "There aren't any signs of war going on." Fai nods.

"The country of Shura and the country of Yama were quite terrifying," he agrees. I shrug. They were difficult, no doubt about that, but I would hardly call the war terrifying. Dark and confusing and sad, yes. But I catch a flash in Fai's eyes, and suddenly I understand what he means. Syaoran and Sakura didn't live through that, but we did. The anxiety of not knowing where Mokona was, if he would be coming back, if we would ever be able to leave this new world… the petrifying knowledge of being lost and alone with nowhere to go. We shared it, far away from each other as we were. And that was terrifying.

"Syaoran, you've been drifting off a lot lately!" Mokona notices, jumping on the boy's head and snapping him awake from another daydream.

"Oh… really?" he asks, confusingly rubbing his head. Fai looks at him oddly.

"Mokona, can you get that box over there for me?" he asks, pointing to the other side of our workplace.

"Right-o!" Mokona croons, jumping along to a song he has just made up. When he is out of earshot, Fai looks at Syaoran.

"Are you still worried about the things that happened in Shara country?" he asks. Syaoran's head snaps up to attention, then drops down to look thoughtfully at his feet.

"Because we went to the country of Shura that represents the past, we ended up changing the country of Shara that represents the present," he says slowly. "Even though everything worked out in the end, the fact that we interfered with history will not change…"

"…the history of that place wasn't supposed to be rewritten, hmm?" Fai concludes seriously. Syaoran nods.

"From now on, we don't know if we'll go to a world's past days. If what happens in the country of Shura occurs again, what will the history of other worlds be changed into?" he worries. Fai pats the boy's head.

"Syaoran-kun, this is something that you cannot do anything about, no matter how worried you are. So why don't we stop thinking about it, and put it aside for now?" he says. Syaoran seems surprised. Fai continues, smiling to the distance: "No matter how hard you try, you only have two hands to achieve things. A pair of hands is incapable of rewriting history. It's very important to recognize those things that cannot be done." The mage pulls back. "So the thing that Syaoran-kun should be worried about right now is?" he asks, concluding his lecture. The boy smiles.

"Winning the race," he says, seeming reassured that his worries are not as important as he thought they were.

I look at Fai, and the mage looks back at me. No words are exchanged between us, but he knows he didn't say enough. He said the things two hands cannot achieve. He forgot to say what they can do. I look down to my own palms and close my hands into fists. This, I can do something about.

The rumble of a car engine reaches our ears. Fai turns around with a smile.

"They're back," he announces. I follow his gaze. It is not only our old car making its way to us; it's an entire convoy, complete with a huge vehicle that makes me think of a pink tank.

"Eh?" Syaoran exclaims. I rise, and a scream of hopelessness makes its way past my lips.

"What did you guys do to the car?" I ask, running to greet them. I stumble, but make it seem like I tripped on something. "Aah, my beautiful car…" I deplore, passing a hand on the chipped paint and deep dent on the vehicle's hood. Sakura turns red, but Kurogane doesn't seem sorry in the slightest. His gaze his locked sideways, onto the myriad of cars escorting the pink tank and from which a crowd of women in business suits and sunglasses are emerging and placing themselves in tight ranks. I eye them suspiciously.

"What's going on?" I ask slowly.

"Well…" Sakura stammers, "we were in an accident on the way back…"

"Of course. Seriously, next time anyone wants to go somewhere, I drive okay? If you can't even handle the drive to the market…"

"Hey, it wasn't my fault!" the ninja suddenly animates, pointing at the black-clad women. "These… these people ran into me from the side!"

"And they were so taken by your wonderful personality that they decided to follow you here? Now that seems likely," I reply with a smirk. The tip of his ears turn red, and I chuckle.

"It has nothing to do with that!" he defends himself. I shake my head hopelessly and take a look at the army assembling itself in front of our house. One of them steps forward stiffly, and bows her head to me.

"We apologize for your vehicle," she says formally, "and if we may, we would like to pay for the repairs."

"If you want to pay for a working car, it might be cheaper," I suggest. She nods.

"Well, well, so many guests!" Fai exclaims, coming up behind me. "Is there anything you would like? Drinks, maybe? Come one, Pinky-chan, let's go get our guests some drinks!" He grabs my elbow and pulls me back towards the house, not even waiting for the woman to answer. I see a smaller figure step out from the large pink tank and Syaoran clear the outdoor table before being dragged into the house.

"Wha… why?" I ask, finally shaking myself free of Fai's grasp. "We don't even know who these people are!"

"But they are friends of Kuro-muy and Sakura-chan, and therefore they are our guests," he says, opening cupboards and pulling our glass after glass. "Do you think they'll like lemonade?" I sigh.

"You really don't care who they are, do you," I say. He laughs.

"Well, it's not everyday so many women come rushing to my door," he admits. I grimace, irritated.

"I almost forgot about your annoying flirting habits," I say, filling a large carafe with water. Syaoran and Mokona come to help us. By the time we've filled enough lemonade glasses to feed an entire city, we find Sakura and Kurogane seated at the patio table with a young girl, about Sakura's age, and the women in black spread out around them in orderly ranks.

"Sorry for the wait!" Fai announces, balancing a heavy tray towards the nearest women. I follow, and Syaoran and I tackle the rest of the group. I'm very careful not to hand any drinks, and let the women serve themselves. They seem to like it better that way, anyways. Mokona's small tray goes straight to the table.

"Cutie Mokona is helping out too!" he says. The unknown girl claps in delight.

"Ah, that's great!" she says with a large smile. I send her a sideways glance. She has long dark hair that flows down to her waist, and is dressed in a pretty pink dress that matches the tank. It's obvious she is the one in charge of the whole escort. She seems nice, although I still don't know what she's doing here.

"Now that I think about it, to be able to create such a delicate mini robot…" she now says, studying Mokona. "Your country must be very advanced in technology!" Fai laughs, and I can't help a smile. In any way, not nearly so advanced as this one. And to think Mokona is a robot… at least you can shut off a robot.

"Our company certainly has to try to make something similar," the girl says, giving Mokona a handshake.

"Company?" Sakura asks. The girl smiles.

"Let me reintroduce myself," she says. "I am Tomoyo Daidouji, the president of Piffle Princess Corporation."

"President? That's the greatest person!" Mokona squeals, and Tomoyo takes him in her hands. President, huh? Well, that explains the bodyguards…

"Piffle Princess Corporation?" Syaoran asks slowly. "Isn't that the race's…"

"Yes," she says brightly. "Our company is the organizer of the race." She suddenly rises, bringing both hands to her heart in a most romantic manner. "This is the legendary Dragonfly race!" she exclaims passionately. "There are many great prizes! From the starting point to the moment when the chequered flag is waved, I want to record everything! And for that…!" She grabs Sakura's hand, pulling the princess to her feet and lifting an arm dramatically to the sky, "I need my female star to make her debut appearance in the race for me!" The bodyguards clap enthusiastically, as Tomoyo bows and we are too bewildered to react. I'm having trouble processing what she means by this. Suddenly, I remember something. I've heard the name Tomoyo before.

I look at Kurogane, then at Tomoyo, then at Kurogane again. I mouth her name as a question. THE Tomoyo? He shrugs, seeming confused as well. No one else seems to have noticed that she is the same as Kurogane's master.

"Oh! A demonstration, a demonstration!" Tomoyo announces, pushing Sakura towards the dragonflies. "I want to see my female star in all her grandeur and magnificence!" The princess barely reacts, still in shock. It's not before she's been brought to her dragonfly, a cute winged egg, that she seems to take pleasure in the whole thing. She snaps on her goggle determinedly. I lean towards Kurogane.

"Do you think this is a good idea?" I whisper. "She's never driven it before." He grunts, so I remain silent. With the push of a button, the engine roars to life. Sakura is soaring before you know it, the wind blowing through her hair. Syaoran smiles. I clap appreciatively.

The moment lasts about two seconds. The dragonfly coughs, puffs out a small cloud of smoke, and starts to slowly fall to the ground.

"Ah!" we hear Sakura yelp as she lands rather roughly. Syaoran's face now panicked, he runs to her.

"I hope Sakura-chan's alright," Fai chuckles awkwardly. Tomoyo looks pleased.

"She still looked cute, even when she fell!" she exclaims. I sigh, and look at Kurogane. Was she always that way? The ninja's face is now unreadable, but his gaze is still locked on Sakura's dragonfly. Guess now's not the time to bring it up.

"I told you so," is all I say.

XxX

I can see the muscles protruding under my skin. They don't hurt anymore, but that's mostly because I've stretched like a madwoman ever since we've left Shura to make sure they regained their flexibility. They're much more defined than they used to be, however, mostly because of the sheer amount of food I ate and exercise I performed in Shura. I know it'll only take a few days of inaction to fix that, but that's not likely to happen anytime soon.

I sigh. I need to keep moving at all times if I don't want the others to get suspicious. If my hands are busy, the others won't wonder why I don't touch them. I look at them now. My hands look so innocent, resting here on my lap, but I know what they can do. They can suck the life right out of someone. Without my conscious decision to do so. And I don't know if I'll be able to stop them next time.

I don't remember who it was, in my dream. I don't want to know the identity of the corpse, but I do remember that its sight was enough to terrify me. Someone I knew, with its blood on my hands. I'm determined not to let that dream happen.

The other reason I must keep busy is the pure white bandage stretching on my right thigh. The wound was deeper than I thought at first, and now it hurts at various intervals of time. I think the blade ripped through some muscle as well as skin. The others know I've been hurt, of course, but they all think it's healing well. To be honest, I don't think it's healing at all, although it has stopped bleeding. I don't really want to know how bad it is. But if I keep moving, if I pretend that everything is fine and show it to them by running around like I always do, they won't suspect it. I can walk without a limp now, and I try not to favour my right leg in anything I do.

My reflection in the mirror stares back at me with anxious eyes. I can pull this off, I know I can. I've pulled off worse, right? The answer is cold in my mind.

No.

I bite my lip, suddenly feeling very alone.

XxX

"I sense romance in the air…" Fai sings, peeking out the window to where Syaoran and Sakura are chatting. The boy's offered to help her with her driving, and is doing so with much enthusiasm. They've been working together all afternoon, and even now that the sun has set and their only light is the two projectors lit up in the yard, they still won't call it a day.

"Now that I think about it," the mage continues, plucking the bottle from Kurogane's hand, "Kuro-tan also looked happy this afternoon…"

"Huh?" the ninja grunts, snapped out of his reverie but refusing to let go of the bottle. Fai smiles knowingly.

"Is it because of Tomoyo-chan?" he asks. "She does look like the princess in your world, huh?" Kurogane has no reaction. Fai continues teasingly. "I think that even though you don't say anything about it, you must be paying special attention to anything related to Tomoyo-chan. How intriguing, Kuro-rin." The ninja perks up angrily, holding the bottle closer to his body as Fai keeps pulling it away. The fight intensifies, and with a sigh I hand my own bottle to Fai. It's been untouched, obviously. The mage eagerly reaches for it, nearly touching my hand, but I let it fall between my fingers. I now hold the bottle's neck between my index and my thumb, letting it dangle in front of Fai so he can safely take it from me. He eyes me curiously, but doesn't say a thing. Bringing the bottle to his lips, he continues:

"Except, that's not the real her, is it? She looks like her, but she's a different person. Did Japan's Tomoyo-hime look like her?" he asks, as though he didn't already know. Of course she looks like her, they're doubles. There's a tense silence in the room. I withdraw into my chair.

"You still haven't met that someone from your world, have you?" Kurogane finally asks bluntly, looking at Fai. The mage freezes. "The reason you must keep running away…" A tiny, sad smile touches Fai's lips.

"It's the same face," Kurogane continues. "However, it's not necessarily the same person." There's an uneasy pause. Fai's eyes have grown cold and distant, his face haunted. I want to tell Kurogane to stop talking like that, that he's hurting Fai and how can he not see it? But the mage speaks before I do.

"…I would know," he says in a breath. "If it's just the same face, or if it's the same person. I would know." Kurogane's gaze is sceptic, calculating his next move. I bury my chin between my knees. I don't like this, but I have to admit that I want to know as much as Kurogane does. But once again, Fai bests us.

"Just like you would know Tomoyo-hime," he concludes, back to his smiling, teasing self. We all look at each other. I know Kurogane wants to say something else, but I know he won't. He never does. It's hard to know when to stop when trying to coax something out of Fai, especially when talking about his past. And this mysterious person he's running away from… I want to know more about it, but I mostly just want to help Fai escape.

Suddenly, there's the loud sound of an engine just outside the dining room. We freeze, listening. Syaoran's voice reaches us, soon followed by Sakura's yelp. And then the world shakes.

"What the…?" I fall against the table, missing Fai by an inch and cutting off my air. The table itself flips over, sending both me and the mage plummeting to the ground. My right leg hits the hard floor before getting crushed by a wayward chair, and I have to disguise my hiss of pain as a curse. The others jump to their feet to go look outside and I follow them, but slowly. I really hope this isn't anything big, because my leg is in no shape for running right now…

"I'm so sorry!" Sakura greets us as we poke our heads through the door. Her dragonfly has crashed onto the side of the house, a mere two metres from the door. Syaoran is staring at the damage, stunned. Fortunately, Sakura doesn't seem hurt and the damage to the house is superficial. Further away, Mokona bounds around the scene to a joyful tune. I want to laugh and scream at the same time. Fai laughs.

"Sakura-chan really is quite energetic," he says. Kurogane slaps his own forehead.

"Can't she walk up the stairs like everybody else?" he grumbles, discouraged. I shake my head with a smile.

"Okay, you two," I tell the kids. "Time for bed, both of you. You worked enough for tonight."

"But… but…" Sakura tries to protest, eyeing her vehicle.

"We'll clean this up in the morning," I tell her. "Right now, I think we all need some rest." They kids nod politely, coming in like two perfectly trained pets. I want to laugh at their sad faces.

"It's nothing," I reassure them. "No harm done." Then I step on my leg and nearly scream. No one sees my grimace of pain.

"Up you go too!" Fai tells Mokona, who eagerly follows Syaoran and Sakura upstairs. I loose no time in placing the furniture where it belongs, then I pull myself a chair and sit in it with a sigh. Fai joins me, and Kurogane leans against a wall. We stay there in silence.

"You know," Fai says, looking curiously at me, "I've heard you talk about your mother and your siblings and friends before, but never of your father. How come?" I pause to think about my answer. I guess it doesn't harm if they know. Besides, I know why Fai is trying to change the conversation. Clumsy, but effective. Kurogane's attention is now on me.

"Well," I start, "who told you I had a father to begin with?" He cocks his head to the side.

"You don't?" he asks, now confused. I chuckle joylessly.

"The guy who got my mom knocked up at sixteen and left, he's not my father. I've never had one," I say. "Even the twin's dad, he didn't stay long." Did the same as my mom's high school boyfriend. Got her pregnant, got afraid and left her. No wonder she started drinking.

"So…" Fai's voice is soft, "you've never known him?" I shake my head.

"I never planned to," I say. "There was no point in finding a guy who didn't love me or my mom in the first place." She had to leave school because of that. Never had a decent job. You need school to do that, and she had a baby instead. She had me. I never heard her complain about this to me, not even when she was drunk, but I know the anger was there.

"She doesn't even have a picture of him," I continue, almost whispering. "But she always told me I looked like him." I didn't like that. I don't want to look like someone I hate. Not mentioning that it was probably harder for her too, seeing features that reminded her of the boy who left her for a college scholarship and a few drinks.

My mom used to be beautiful. Men took that away from her. Twice, she got caught by jerks who left her as soon as things got serious. They left her with three kids. No wonder she tried to beat us up when she was drunk. We ruined her life. I know. She told me as much.

"Well," Fai says, apparently at a loss for words. I look at him with cold eyes. You wanted me to divert everyone's attention, now you've got more than you've bargained for. Deal with it.

"Don't feel sorry for me," I warn. "I never missed him." The silence lasts longer than I expected. I finally turn to Kurogane. This is getting very awkward, and I know I'm the only one who can end it.

"I want to talk about Shura," I say. "Or, what was it called… Yama? Yeah. I want to talk about that." The ninja only looks down at his drink. I continue. "You've heard my side of the story, but I barely know what you did there. Half a year, that's a long time. What happened?" Silence.

"We fought," he finally says. "They didn't trust us at first, but we made ourselves known on the battlefield. The mage couldn't get himself understood at all, so I had to guess what he was thinking most of the time. Downright irritating." Fai chuckles, resting his chin in his hand. "He got pretty good at the bow, though. People didn't understand him, but they respected him. I… well, I just did my job the whole time." He shrugs. "Fighting and such. Yasha-ou was a good leader of men. I regret I never got to fight him."

"Did you know?" I ask. "About Yasha-ou… that he wasn't human?" My throat locks when I think of Ashura-ou, desperately holding the deceased man's sword to his chest.

Kurogane shakes his head and takes a gulp. Fai nods.

"I knew," he says. "The feather's energy was too much to ignore." He turns to Kurogane with a smile. "But as you so justly pointed out, I couldn't get anyone to listen to me. So it was all kept a big secret." He grins and cocks his head to the side. I frown at him.

"Don't," I say harshly. "It's not funny. Stop treating everything as a joke." They both look at me, stunned. My eyes fall to the ground. "Ashura-ou died because of him. A bunch of people died because no one knew he was dead, and no one stopped fighting. It's not funny." I bite my thumb nervously. I want to say something, something that's a little cruel, but that I'll say anyways. "You two saw to that." Kurogane frowns angrily.

"I didn't kill," he says harshly, drawing my gaze to him. "You know I can't kill. I didn't." Of course. Tomoyo-hime cursed him, so that he couldn't kill without loosing his strength. But there was a reason she cursed him in the first place. Because he's killed before.

"And you?" I ask Fai, but the mage's eyes avoid mine and he smiles shyly. He doesn't answer. Because for once, he doesn't want to lie. I look to the table.

"How could you have kept from killing," I ask Kurogane, "if you were still one of Yasha's most feared soldiers? You'd have to have done something to deserve that."

"You don't have to kill someone directly for them to die," he replies angrily, still staring at his drink. I look to him and he sees that I don't believe him, which makes him angrier.

"Listen, you," he says, now glaring at me, "if you bash a man's head against a rock, who's to say he won't die of that injury hours later? If you break a man's arm, what happens then if he can't defend himself from a blow because of his lifeless limb? If you cut a man, anywhere, without the proper care he'll bleed to death. And yet did you really kill him? Are you better than the one who sliced a man's throat?" I wince. All the actions he names, they are all things I have done, and he knows it. He must have been watching me more closely than I had thought during the battle. I'm mad at him for saying these things, yet I can't help but wonder… did all these things happen to the men I fought against? I did not kill, but…

How many people died because of me?

"I nearly killed a man," I say, trying to keep my voice from trembling. "Purposely. Twice." The ninja seems surprised, yet not overly stunned by my words. I sustain his gaze. "The first one was Fai-san, because I didn't know it was him and because he harmed one of my friends. But I couldn't kill him. I wasn't a monster." His eyebrows lift at the use of the past tense, but he doesn't speak. "The second time… he was trying to kill me. He was going to stab me, so I fought back and nearly killed him. I was about a second away from doing so," I shiver, "but I didn't. I could have. I wanted to, for a moment." My hands start trembling. "I would have killed him. I would have… so easily…" I don't want them to, but tears start pooling in my eyes and I wipe them away angrily. The truth is, I'm afraid of myself. Afraid of what I can do.

"Well," the ninja finally says, "I don't see where the problem is." I lift my face to look at him, taken aback.

"What?" I say. He shrugs.

"If he was trying to kill you, then I don't see the problem. It was him or you, right?" he says coolly. "There's no shame in killing a man to save your life. You don't have to get so worked up about it."

"Kuro-pii," Fai cuts in, "I hardly think you're helping." Surprisingly, the wizard has lost his careless smile. He seems almost… annoyed at Kurogane, as he looks from me to the ninja. The curious reversal of situations doesn't make me smile like it normally would have. Slowly, I rise from my chair.

"Oh," is all I say, softly. "I see." I leave the room without so much as a glance towards the others. I close the door behind me, but pause for a few seconds. I hear Kurogane's snort through the door.

"What the hell's the matter with her?"

"It's always hard, Kuro-rin," Fai replies with a sigh. "To find the dark side of yourself… it's never easy."

XxX

"_Mom… mom, you're drunk." I try to pull the woman away from the stairs, where I know the twins are sleeping, but her hand comes up and slaps me in the face. Damn. She's wearing that ring again. _

"_How dare you?" she screams, turning to me now. "How dare you talk like this to your own mother?" I take a deep breath, trying to remember all the tips I've gathered over the years: don't get angry, keep a steady voice, don't let her know she's hurting you. _

"_Mom," I say again, calmly, "you're drunk. You don't know what you're doing. The twins are upstairs, don't wake them up, okay? Please, just sit on the couch. I'll get you some coffee."_

"_You don't have to yell, I'm right here!" she shrieks at the top of her lungs. Her eyes shine dangerously. "And I don't want that coffee of yours! I am not drunk, you little bitch, and even if I was it would be your fault! Why do you think I drink, huh? WHY?" I cringe away, showing my hands in a peace offering. In a corner, our kudans are staring at each other without a sound. _

"_Please, mom," I plead, knowing very well my back is against a wall. I can't run away. "Please, don't do this. You just need some coffee and some sleep." The hand comes up before I can dodge it. I fall back against the closet door, holding my cheek. There's blood trickling down from a cut on my lip. My mom points an accusating finger at me, the silver ring sitting atop it._

"_Don't tell me what to do! I'm your mother, I deserve more respect than that!" She's shouting so loud I know at least one of the twins must be awake, listening to this. Whether it's Hisho or Hinata, I'll probably never know, but I hear the tiny thud of feet retreating from their bedroom door. I decide to end this._

"_Mom, Hisho and Hinata are sleeping," I say steadily, but firmly. "You don't have to shout."_

"_I'll shout as much as I want, goddamnit! Why are you such an ungrateful daughter?" Her voice is hitting the high notes now. "Do you have any idea of what I did for you? And this is what you give me in return? Don't you have a heart? My own daughter!" _

"_Stop this," I order, standing up. "Don't blame this all on me. I'm not the one leaving the house to get wasted every night." As soon as the words leave my mouth, I know I shouldn't have spoken them. My mother's eyes shoot daggers at me as her hands fly in from everywhere, striking my face, my arms, my body. Our kudans are fighting now, hand against claw, feathers against scales; mine is clearly winning, but it doesn't matter. Her kudan is just distracting it so it can't help me._

"_You little witch! Like you're so much better than me, huh? You're just like him, just like your goddamned father!" I try not to whimper as she backs me into a corner, her arms still flailing around her. If I let on that it hurts, it only gets worse. _

"_Die, won't you? You kids… because of you… You ruined my life!" Her scream is directed at the wall, but a good kick reminds me that she still knows I'm here. "Why the hell did I have you? Why?" she starts crying. "Your father… YOUR GODDAMNED FATHER! Why did he give you to me… why… why did I have to have you? You ruined everything… EVERYTHING! All of you! Why does the world hate me? What did I ever do…? It's all your fault! Don't you dare blame this on me. They're the ones who abandoned us. I hate them. I HATE THEM! Why does his blood have to run through your body, huh? Why do you have to be him? I HATE HIM!"_

_I roll into a ball, trying to protect myself from her blows, but she never stops. Long after she's passed out on the living room floor, her screams still echo in my mind. I finally let myself sob, with only the wall for support. My whole body hurts. No more sounds come from the twins' room. I'm alone with the silence and my tears. _

_I pass a hand through my mother's dark, curly hair. So much like Hinata's. Her face is peaceful now, save for a few tears still lingering on her cheeks. I brush them away gently._

"_The problem," I say softly, my voice cracking, "is that I can't hate _you_." _


	30. Resurgence

DISCLAIMER: again? Really, I don't own TRC, trust me.

That scene in the middle should have been so much shorter! But Aisha just won't give up and Fai just won't shut up. And the whole scene at the end, was it really necessary? Not at all. Does it happen in the manga? Nope. Was it fun to have Aisha meet Shougo? Yup ^_^

It's the morning of the race. We're about to leave, and I'm checking myself one last time in the mirror. I tug nervously at my hair. My roots are starting to show, about half an inch of dirty blond against pink. I've always known I'd have to suffer through this to get my natural colour back, but I _am_ going to be on television… I push a cap on my head and rush out the door.

XxX

Okay, so I don't hate my mother. There, I said it. I dislike her, of course. We're hardly the best of friends. But I can't seem to hate her, no matter how hard I try. It's probably one of those weird mother-daughter blood bond phenomenon or something. I don't think she could ever bring herself to hate me either.

There was a time when I liked my mom. A time when I called her 'Mama'. Things only got bad when the twins were born, actually. Before that, I assume it was smooth sailing. I don't know for sure, because my memories of that time aren't exactly trustworthy. They're partial, flashes of sounds and sights, occasional clear scenes. I don't remember anything from before I was six. A fact I have been thinking about a lot since I've embarked on this journey, especially since the witch has told me – and Fai has confirmed – that the barrette I wear is not just for decoration. I have memories in there, somewhere. And I still want them back.

One thing I want to know is this: was my mom aware of this? If so, just how much did she know?

I remember my science teacher telling us that when the brain is incapacitated by a substance – such as alcohol – it looses its capacity to reflect and react the right way to situations. Basically, you turn into a child. Your reflexes are sluggish, your reactions purely emotional, your deduction skills dropped to zero. But there's one thing she never said, and that's that you don't know what you're saying when you're drunk. Actually, she said that your perception of things may be false, but to you, you react to what is real. You say what you think, as crazy as it may be, because you don't realize the effect this has on others. You say things you would never admit in your normal state, but you rarely lie. That's how I know my mom hates my father. That she resents me for looking like him.

That she wishes she had never given birth to me.

The reason I'm saying this is because, apparently truth often come out of the mouth of drunk people because they don't recognize the need to keep something silent. And I've been thinking about the things my mother has told me lately; one thing stood out. Several times, when she was drunk, my mother has called me a witch.

XxX

"I'll just make sure we're all signed in," Fai says, suddenly heading off in another direction. I follow him swiftly. He smiles curiously. "Yes?"

"Kuro-sama may have forgotten the Outo naming incident, but I haven't," I tell him. "So I'm here to keep a close eye on you." He laughs.

XxX

The stadium is humongous. I've never seen anything so big in my entire life. I can't help but gap at the full stands, the hundreds of screens hovering everywhere, the cheering fans and thrown confetti. There's no way all these people are here just to see this race! And yet they are, and I have to live with the fact that I may just crash and burn on television, and everyone will be able to see it.

"And these are just the preliminaries," Syaoran reminds me, as though he had read my thoughts. I chuckle nervously.

"I might have a breakdown at the actual thing," I warn him. "Just don't count on me." The boy smiles reassuringly.

"You'll be great, I know it," he says. I grimace.

"Sure I will," I reply. We're making our way through the crowd of racers and their teams, trying to find Sakura and Kurogane. Fai is the first to spot them.

"Hey!" he waves excitedly. "We just got news – everyone is in the race!"

"And a naming crisis has been averted!" I add victoriously. It was a good thing I followed Fai – instead of the name I had given him, he wanted to name my dragonfly the 'Raki Seed.' Or the 'Pinky-chan.' Not a chance that's ever going to happen.

"Well, looks like this race will be split in two!" the mage announces for Kurogane and Sakura. Kurogane seems puzzled.

"Eh?" he asks. From behind him, a female voice rises.

"This race will be split into a preliminary contest and a final contest," she says. It's Tomoyo, surrounded by her bodyguards, wearing yet another tailored dress. "Today we will be holding the preliminaries. The winners will be able to proceed into the finals… whoever wins the finals will receive this 'energy battery'." We've soon learned that's how they refer to Sakura's feather here, because it seems to be a near endless source of power.

"This means…" Tomoyo adds with a playful smile, pulling out a video camera, "I shall now begin filming all of you!" She hurriedly rushes to Sakura to get a close-up on the blushing girl's face.

The sound of trumpets startle us. I look to the others, puzzled. The audience, on the other hand, seems to know exactly what this means and begins cheering even louder.

"Okay!" the commentator yells in his microphone. I see him, perched on his hovering platform, above everything else. "Everyone! The race is starting! Our very own Dragonfly race!" The crowd goes wild. We look at each other anxiously, then run to our dragonflies. Mine is parked between Kurogane's and Fai's, and I frantically check all my commands before hoping in. Fai laughs.

"I still think the Raki Seed would have been a better name," he says teasingly.

"It's not even red," I reply, "or pink, so Pinky-chan doesn't work either." It's midnight blue, with the name of the craft painted in white on the side, for luck. I don't think anyone else can read it, however, since it's in the writing of Hanshin.

"Focus," the ninja growls, entering his own vehicle.

"Now the contestants are making their final preparations in order to do their best for the magical prize that awaits them," the commentator continues, building up suspense. "But if they cannot make it to the top 20 in the preliminaries, they cannot continue on to the finals!"

"There seems to be many familiar faces around," Mokona notices. I turn around to face him, in Sakura's dragonfly.

"What do you mean?" I ask, but then I see it. Chunyiang, sitting in a dragonfly. Karen-Dayuu, a little further on. Ryu-oh, giving a thumbs-up to another contestant. Oruha-san, Glossam, the Ryanban, his son, Kyle, Yuzuhira, we seem to be surrounded by people we've already met.

"No… really?" I say, bewildered. Only a few feet behind me stands Shougo, his ever-present ponytail beating in the wind. Sorata-sensei is behind him, clutching a picture of his wife with a lovelorn smile, and I nearly laugh. Judging by his clothes, he's part of Shougo's prep team. To think that I would see my former history teacher at a flying car race, and a gang leader's mechanic to boot… wow. I look at Fai and Syaoran and they both nod, signifying that they see it too. This is weird.

"All right! Everyone, thanks for waiting. The race is about to begin!" the commentator announces. I pull the lever, release the clutch and feel the engine rumble. I snap my goggles on, and tug on my gloves. My foot feels heavy on the pedal. This is it. "Waving the chequered flag is the young president of our Piffle's proud trading company, Piffle Princess – Tomoyo Daidouji!" Standing on what seems to be an inflatable teddy bear, Tomoyo lowers the flag. The roar of the crowd drowns out the sound of engines as we lift from the platform and into the air.

"The Dragonfly race officially begins!"

I steer away from the group, free to go my own speed. I know acceleration is my dragonfly's strong point, not overall speed, so it's important for me to secure a good position before the others have a chance to catch up to me.

"Who will win this amazing prize? All the contestants today seem to be in great shape…" As though to contradict the commentator, Sakura's craft swerves off from the course and begins falling erratically. She visibly lost control.

"Hime!" I hear Syaoran call as he flies past her, the light gossamer wings of his dragonfly floating behind him.

"Will this girl be the first to lose?" the commentator exclaims.

"Sakura! Pull up!" I yell. "Gently!"

"Does she know what she's doing?" I hear Kurogane say. I can't get closer to help her without loosing my place, and that would make it nearly impossible to gain it back. Fortunately, Syaoran drops with her and I hear him yell out his instructions. With one last jerk, Sakura's dragonfly is back to a horizontal position, jets flaming brightly.

"Oh! Guess not!" the commentator says. "Now everything looks all right again!" I'm slowly gaining on Shougo, Fai close behind me. We're in the leading group.

There's an odd engine sound, of the kind no flying object should be allowed to make. In my rear-view mirror, I see Tomoyo's flying teddy bear reach Sakura and Syaoran. I can't catch what's being said, but I can tell Sakura's distracted because she soon swerves off again. The inflatable bear retreats a little to give them breathing space.

I catch up to Kurogane on the left, soon followed by Fai on the right. I notice the ninja checking his rear-view mirror.

"Awww, that's so cute!" I guzzle.

"You're worried for Sakura-chan? How sweet!" Fai echoes. Without so much as a glance in our direction, the ninja zooms forward, leaving a trail of clouds behind him. I step hard on the pedal, following him.

"Hey, wait-" Fai starts, but the rest of his sentence is drowned out by the wind in my ears.

"You haven't noticed this is a race? Stop messing around!" Kurogane yells as the mage catches up to us. Fai smiles.

"You're right, it is," he says. "Okay. Bye then." And he's off, leaving us in his trail. I grimace.

"Bastard!" I yell, augmenting my speed just a bit to pass him.

"Why couldn't he be serious from the start?" I hear Kurogane grumble, and laugh.

"This preliminary contest follows a free-for-all style!" the commentator announces. You know, cause we couldn't tell. The head group rides into a cloud. Water droplets erupt on my skin, and I can barely see what's around me, but I don't slow down. The feeling of riding blindly, with the wind as my guide, is exhilarating. I can almost predict the currents, using them to steer rather than the wheel. I've always dreamed of flying and now I am, becoming the wind.

"Oh! Who just suddenly appeared?" the commentator exclaims in surprise as we leave the cloud. The unexpected light blinds me for a moment. "As I thought, it's the leading regulars in the Dragonfly race!" I've past both Fai and Kurogane in the cloud. There are nine people ahead of us, Ryu-oh and Shougo among them. I have something personal against both of them. I smile hungrily. I do like a challenge.

"But," the commentator continues, "who's catching up in the back? Two, no three new entries have caught up! The Tsubame, the Stormchaser and the Kuro-Tan!"

"What kind of name did you chose, you bastard!" Kurogane shouts furiously, and I can't help but laugh freely. I was there, but did nothing to stop Fai from naming Kurogane's craft so. It's a little payback for last night.

"I think it's a cute name," the mage replies playfully. My goggles, now full of water droplets, hinder my vision more than they help it, and I pull them away from my eyes and around my neck. I then swerve from side to side to tease the ninja behind me.

"Will you two stop fooling around? This is a goddamned race, you idiots!" he yells. But I ignore him. Something has just grasped my attention, something that's not meant to be here… and it's coming our way.

When the wind hits, I'm ready. The currents mingle and twirl around us, sending many dragonflies crashing into each other.

"What's this? A sudden windstorm?" the commentator cries out. I ride the wind, spinning unsteadily between two currents, avoiding the worst. My left hand is on the wheel, my right on the lever, and I multiply complicated manoeuvres to stay adrift. The wind is hard against my face, and I stand to give my craft more manoeuvrability. Unlike the others, I actually gain speed with the wind in my bow. Several white parachutes appear in my field of vision.

"What an abrupt emergency! Many contestants are forced to forfeit! But what a display of skills from the Stormchaser! Breathtaking!" the commentator exclaims. Then, worriedly, "Can he avoid it?" Who? What? Who is he talking about? I can't turn my head back now, and my rear-view mirror gives me no help.

"That's our Syaoran!" Fai exclaims joyfully, and I breathe a sigh of relief. So Syaoran managed to survive it, and Fai too, by the sound of things. Sure enough, as soon as things calm down I see him catch up to me. "But what about Sakura-chan?" he adds, worried, and this time I can look back. My muscles tense as I see Sakura being tugged back by the strong current. But surprisingly, she manages to avoid it completely with a perfect barrel.

"All right!" I yell, punching the air in victory.

"That's amazing!" the commentator says. "The new entry, Wing Egg, does a spectacular turn in midair!" Fai attempts a whistle.

"Sakura-chan… you're awesome!" he says. Kurogane catches up to us as well. The slight lead I had gained during the windstorm is fading, as all the other contestants are pressing their engines to the fullest of their capacities. I'm no exception to that rule, but I can only hope to keep a minor lead while the others build back up to their top speed. Once they reach it, I need to be at the finish line quickly, or I'll be pushed back.

"Aah! The spotlight's on president Tomoyo?" the commentator says, and a glance in my mirror confirms it. Flying spotlights are pointed to the young girl's silhouette, as she holds some sort of sphere above her head. "That… that is… our championship prize! The 'energy battery'!" A ray of light beams from the feather, to the top of a golden tower I can just make out in the distance, floating in the sky. "The light from the tower indicates the preliminary contest's goal!" the commentator informs us. "So! Who will be the one to win this battery?" I exchange a glance with Kurogane. We may not be on the best terms since last night, but we both know what we have to do. Win, at any cost.

"Hey," the ninja calls, "if that's really her feather, then we don't have to win this race, do we?"

"Huh?"

"We just have to seize the feather, and then the manjuu can take us to another world before anyone can react!"

Fai bursts in laughter. "Kuro-sama is so terrible!" he says.

"I don't want to hear that from you, bastard!" Kurogane yells back furiously. But Fai only smiles knowingly.

"You never know, we might have to do that in the end…" he says thoughtfully. My hands tense on the wheel.

"No, we won't!" I shout determinedly. "Because we're going to win this goddamned race!" Fai's eyes widen in surprise, before his expression softens into a smile.

"So we will," he says, passing me. I stay hot on his trail.

"This energy battery is rumoured to be able to supply enough energy for an entire city!" the commentator exclaims. Tomoyo giggles, now close enough to the commentator's microphone that her voice is carried out in the speakers.

"It's just a fake," she confesses. "Since this is the grand prize, everybody wants it. It'd be quite troublesome if something happened to it! As head of the company, I have safely stored it in a place with maximum security!"

"This is the young, intelligent and skilled boss we know!" the commentator says, sounding very emotional.

"Tomoyo-chan did a good job," Fai comments. "She's beautiful, and cunning as well. Oh!" he adds with a smile, "looks like we're about to pass the preliminaries…" His dragonfly lurches forward at great speed. I follow suit, taking advantage of the poor wind resistance behind the Tsubame.

"It seems this one has sped up and is now in the lead!" the commentator announces. I am now hovering between third and fourth place. Shougo and Ryu-oh are right in front of me. "They are splendidly and beautifully manipulating their dragonflies! Oh! Somebody has just zoomed forward and is ahead by a large margin! This sudden, aggressive appearance is made by the Kuro-Tan!"

"GET RID OF THAT STUPID NAME!" Kurogane orders as he rockets past Fai, stealing the lead from the wizard.

"That's how Kuro-tan is, always doing his way," Fai shrugs, and zooms forward as well.

"The Tsubame quickly follows! Looks like this year's drivers are all excellent!" The benefits of my quick acceleration are lost at this stage of the competition, and I know it. The only one I still have a chance to pass before the finish line is Shougo. Don't think I'll pass that opportunity.

"Oh! What about this one? It's the Mokona!" Syaoran. His craft is so named because of the wings' resemblance to Mokona's ears. Well, if he's being mentioned as one of the 'excellent new entries,' he can't be in a bad position. I wonder if he's still sticking with Sakura…

Shougo and I exchange a sideways glance. I'm ridding the wind a little too close for comfort on his side. He probably senses what I plan to do, but he doesn't know how I'll pull it off. That's why I still have a few tricks left in my bag. I twirl on myself in a barrel, destabilizing Shougo. While he pains to regain his dragonfly's balance, mine zooms past it in a last effort to land at least fourth position. Plus, this is personal.

"Jerk!" I yell at him. "If you hadn't lost your damned street I wouldn't be in this mess!" I loosen the clutch, giving my engine less resistance and my wheel less control. But it's not control I need now, because the tower, the finish line, is coming up straight ahead at astounding speed. I can't hope for a better position than fourth at this point, but I'm determined not to let it go.

"Steadily, the leading group…" Kurogane's almost at the finish line now, unchallenged. As he crosses the line, the crowd goes wild. "REACHES THE GOAL!" the commentator finishes excitedly. Fai passes the finish line. "But remember, only the first 20 get to go on in the finals!" Ryu-oh and I reach the finish line in two breaths, him being slightly in front of me. Shougo's right behind.

"We have the first 5!" the commentator calls. "15 more spaces!" I land rather awkwardly, the Stormchaser skidding to a halt only metres from the end of the platform. On the large screens around us I can see close-ups of Kurogane's face, but the ninja doesn't seem to be celebrating; his face is as cool and stoic as ever. They then count down the seven contestants who have already arrived: Kurogane, Fai, Ryu-oh, me, Shougo, some blond kid I've never seen before and Chunyiang. I look dishevelled and a little lost, but an involuntary smile floats on my lips. I've made it. I'm moving on to the finals. And I bet Shougo.

"Raki-chan! Good job out there!" I see Fai walk to me with a victorious smile. I give him a thumbs-up, to which he answers with a laugh. I hop out of the Stormchaser, still shaking with excitement. My leg hurts like hell, but I'm not about to let that dampen my joy.

"Where's our Kuro-tan?" I ask playfully.

"He's surrounded by his loving fans," Fai whispers to me on the tone of confidence. I laugh freely.

"So what are his two most adoring fans still doing here?" I ask, but the truth is that I don't really want to see Kurogane right now. His victory isn't really enough to erase what he said last night. I know it's partly my fault as well, as I brought it up, but still…

"There are still 10 spaces left!" We hear a loud detonation and jump. "Oh! What's happening now?" Several dragonflies explode in midair, making white parachutes appear again. For a moment all we see is fire and gun smoke, and I want to clutch Fai's arm but I don't. Only one thought runs again and again in my mind… _Syaoran and Sakura are still in there. _Kurogane soon joins us as we stand, alert, at the base of the golden tower.

"Is someone breaking the rules?" the commentator asks, but right now I don't give a damn about the possible culprit of this. All I want to know is that Syaoran and Sakura are safe.

We hear another explosion, but this time I see something come out of the smoke. I bite my lip, hoping it's Syaoran, hoping he'll be okay…

It's Syaoran. I breathe a sigh of relief as he crosses the finish line.

"Our 11th place passes the finish line!"

"Yeah!" Fai cheers. Syaoran lands, and hurriedly turns to the race, where a thick cloud of smoke is still lingering in the air. Fortunately, the explosions have stopped, but I still hope Sakura can make it through without hurting herself. If her dragonfly is still in one piece…

Fai leans in towards me. "Don't worry," he whispers. "I think she was further back." I don't ask how he knew what I'm thinking about; it must be fairly obvious.

"Look at that smoke! It's easy to get lost in a mist like that!" I glare at the commentator. Now is not the time to tell me these things. Dragonflies erupt from the cloud of gun smoke, crossing the finish line, but Sakura is still out of sight. Syaoran runs to meet us.

"Three spaces remaining!" Now it's not only a matter of Sakura making it out of there, it's a matter of her making it out on time.

"Last two!" We watch anxiously as another racer crosses the finish line, but still no sign of Sakura. The smoke has nearly cleared now, and I think I see two indistinct shapes coming our way. I stare at them in hope.

"Last one!" I nudge Fai in the ribs, pointing to the two black spots.

"That's the Wing Egg," I say. He looks out to the sky.

"Are you sure?" he asks. I nod.

"It's Sakura," I say, and see Syaoran perk up at my news. The Wing Egg seems to be flying true, without any sign of damage. The craft beside it is just as fast, but lags slightly to the left.

"Two of them coming at once?" Yes, annoying voice of heaven. Neither of them seems at an advantage over the other, and both are heading towards the line, fast.

"Who will be the 20th person to enter the finals?" the commentator exclaims. I silently cheer for Sakura. They both pass the finish line at what seems to be the same time, and I cross my fingers. I've never been one for superstitious gestures, but this seems like an appropriate time to try it.

"We'll decide the final space based on the video!" the commentator announces. Sakura has landed safely. The other girl takes off her goggles; even from this distance, I recognize Yuzuhira. The video flashes on the screens all around us. I find myself holding my breath, even though the event has already happened. There seems to be no difference between the two crafts until the very last second.

"And the last finalist is…" we collectively draw a breath. The Wing Egg's bow comes in the finish line, clearly before the other dragonfly, and the counter clicks. "The Wing Egg!" the commentator exclaims.

"Yes!" I scream in excitement, waving at Sakura. "You go girl!" The princess finally seems to realize what this means, and hugs Mokona in front of the camera. Her smile is warm and joyful.

"Sakura-chan is always so touching!" Fai says, smiling broadly. We are all smiling, with the exception of Kurogane – the ninja only seems glad this is all over.

"I guess we passed the preliminaries," is all he says. Fai nods.

"All five of us," he adds merrily. Syaoran and I exchange a glance.

"After this, it's the finals… huh…" the boy says, looking out to the sky. I bring a hand to my temple, shaking my head.

"I feel the nervous breakdown starting already," I mumble, and the boy chuckles. Confetti floats in the air like snowflakes, and as I look at all the grinning faces around me, I almost feel like I belong.

XxX

"To all five of us making it to the finals – Cheers!" we all yells, and I tap my glass of orange juice against Syaoran's and Fai's bottle.

"Waah! Kurogane already drank some of his, no fair!" Mokona squeals, and the ninja grunts like he doesn't care. I take a big gulp of orange juice and rest back against my chair with a sigh. Life is good, for now.

"Sakura-chan really did well this time!" Fai says, putting down his bottle on the table. The princess smiles humbly.

"Thank you!" she answers.

"Mokona is happy too! Riding on that is like riding on a motorboat!"

"In the beginning I was really surprised. All of these people were racing…" Fai says, looking at me and Syaoran.

"Yes, this contest really has some peculiar rules…" the boy agrees. I shrug.

"Maybe it's just really popular," I advance. Fai brings his leg to his chest, leaning back in his chair.

"But you know," he objects, "when I asked the people here, they said they've never seen so many contestants…"

"Is this some kind of set-up, then?" the ninja asks gruffly.

"That I don't know," the mage admits, shaking his head. "Syaoran-kun, did you notice anything strange?"

"Not really. I was probably too busy avoiding the wreckage to notice." Fai chuckles, taking another sip from his drink.

"So concentrated, eh? What about Strawberry-cotton-candy-chan?" he asks. I grimace at the ghastly nickname.

"First of all, that's not my name," I say. "And second of all, no, I didn't notice anything strange other than the obvious fact there were explosions on the course."

"Yes, of course," Fai nods. "But nothing that would explain the unusual number of players?"

"Nope," I admit, smacking my lips.

"So what about you, Sakura-chan?" the mage asks. The princess grins enthusiastically.

"Flames kept flashing!" she exclaims, a little too eagerly. Syaoran eyes her suspiciously.

"Flashing?" he asks.

"Flash-flashing!" she agrees, nodding and chuckling. My eyes narrow, and I begin to observe everyone in the room carefully.

"Yes!" the princess continues, rising up from her chair with her arms extended to her side. Her eyes glimmer with a daring flame. "There were flames in the smoke! And with the wind blowing, it felt like I was riding in the wind! Dancing in the wind! Making 'Pyuuuuu' noises!" She then grabs Mokona and starts spinning wildly, giggling all the way.

"Hi…hime…" Syaoran tries to calm her, but she refuses to listen.

"Okay! We're going to fly!" she exclaims determinedly, rushing for the door and jumping outside with a joyful cry, Mokona following her. Syaoran dashes after them both. I turn to the others, pointing a furious finger outside, where we can still hear the princess's giggles.

"Okay, who fed her alcohol?" I roar. Fai picks up her glass and sniffs it, then chuckles.

"Ah, this is why," he says. Both Kurogane and me glare at him.

"What? Didn't I tell you not to let them drink this stuff?" Kurogane yells. Fai picks up Mokona's glass.

"There's also wine in Mokona's cup," he says. "He probably put it in – the criminal is him!"

"Where is that fur-ball?" I demand, spinning towards the door. Suddenly, voices come to us from outside, as an engine pitches to life.

"NO! Hime! Don't!"

"Syaoran-kun, fly with us!" The engine coughs, and soon we hear it smoke. And then, of course, it crashes. Kurogane can barely contain his anger.

"Hmpf! That's enough! You brats!" he growls, marching heavily towards the door. Fai waves him on.

"Do your duty as a father!" he calls, and I can't help but chuckle despite my frustration.

XxX

Sakura finally falls on her bed, Mokona cuddled against her stomach, after what seems like hours of running after her.

"See?" Kurogane sighs. "After drinking, they don't usually last more than a few minutes. Although this does seem a bit fast…"

"That must be because she's overexcited from passing the preliminaries," Fai says, smiling, as Syaoran pulls a blanket over the princess. "Sakura-chan tried really hard!" I look down at her peaceful face. I can't stay mad at her for long. Mokona, however, is a totally different story.

"I'm going to bed," Kurogane announces, walking to the door.

"Yeah, we have to rest and prepare for the coming competition," Fai agrees. "Syaoran, Pinky, you two should get some sleep too!" I nod and sigh.

"Okay," I say, following them out of the room. I share this one with Sakura, but I desperately need a shower tonight.

"Good night, Syaoran-kun," I call before stepping out.

"Good night Aisha-san," he replies.

"Aisha-chan. At least call me Aisha-chan."

XxX

"_Hey there, Sha." The voice behind me rings, teasing, to my ears. I turn around, and my face breaks into a smile as I recognize the boy behind me._

"_Kento!" I exclaim, running towards him. He catches me in his outstretched arms, twirling me around like he used to do when we were little and he liked to show off his strength. I break into a laugh. He puts me down, but still refuses to let me go. I press myself to his body, sighing. This feels so good._

"_I missed you," I say. He laughs._

"_Of course you did," he says. "So, what's been keeping you far away for so long?" _

"_You have no idea." I tell him everything, from the first day to now, never omitting a detail. He listens until the very end, through time travels and ninjas and magic, silent and still. He doesn't seem the slightest bit surprised at my adventures. Of course, since this is a dream. Nevertheless, I feel better now that I can tell someone everything I've been through, without any lies or flourishes. Kento does that to me; he makes me confident, and I feel like I can tell him anything. He's more than a big brother to me._

"_Wow," he finally says when I'm done. "Well, I guess that's reason enough. I can't stay mad at you for long, then." And he smiles. I nearly melt in his arms at that smile, burying my face in his shoulder. _

"_You're mad at me?" I ask._

"_Of course," he says, and I look up. His brown eyes are serious. "You left me alone without you, you know?" I cry._

"_I'm sorry," I say, sobbing. "I'm so sorry." He pats my back._

"_It's okay, Sha," he says. "It's all okay. I'm here now, okay?"_

"_Yeah," I say softly. "Yeah, I guess." He pretends to look offended._

"_You guess? Well, this is the last time I come to see you again," he jokes, but I feel his words tug at my heart like a claw._

"_No!" I scream. "You can't leave! Please don't leave me alone!" He laughs again. Oh, how I've missed that laugh._

"_I can give you a souvenir," he says, "until I come back again." He leans over and softly presses his lips to mine. I let him hold me, press his tongue inside me until I can't breathe anymore, before I finally let him pull back. He smiles tenderly._

"_I love you," I say. He brushes my cheek with his hand._

"_I know you do," he says._

XxX

I'm sitting up in my bed, curled up against the wall. That dream wasn't real. It's never going to happen, which makes it all the more heart-wrenching. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, rocking back and forth on my mattress. All it would have taken would have been three little words, and even in a dream he could not offer them to me. Kento does not love me, and he never will. That, at least, is clear enough.

But that dream was cruel. I know it will never happen, and yet I wish for with all my heart, and this dream comes, showing me what I missed. Then it wakes me up and leaves me stranded in a dark room, all alone. Wishing for someone to be here.

I swing my legs over the bed, wincing as my left foot hits the floor, hard. There's no need to hide it anymore, but I don't show my limp even as I walk to the kitchen. Force of habit. I go to turn on the light, only to find that it's already opened. I peer carefully into the room. Fai is sitting on the counter, swinging his legs, a mug of something warm in his hands. He sees me and smiles.

"Couldn't sleep?" he asks kindly. "Me neither." I nod tentatively, taking a step on the cold flooring. He slides to the ground, offering me his seat. "I'll make you some hot chocolate, okay? Nothing better for a cold night." He smiles. I eye the mug of warm, thick liquid in his hands and nod again.

"I can do it," I offer, but he shrugs it off.

"It's no problem," he says, and pulls out the necessary fare. I watch him pour milk in the chocolate, and add little marshmallows I don't remember buying. In fact, I don't remember buying anything to make hot chocolate.

"Here you go," he says, handing it to me. I look at it, but Fai's hand is too big. I can't take it. I bite my lip. He looks at me curiously, then places the mug on the counter, at my side. I grab it and bring it to my mouth, nearly scalding it in the process. Fai sits next to me, his own mug in hand. We stay in silence for a while.

"It was a nightmare again?" he asks softly, and I freeze. We exchange a glance; me puzzled and scared, him calm and caring. He smiles, but doesn't answer my silent question. "Was it?" he asks instead. Slowly, I nod. My hands tense on the mug.

"How do you…" I start trembling, "how do you know about the nightmares?" He smiles softly, but doesn't answer.

"Is your chocolate good?" he asks. I nod.

"But how…?"

"It's getting late. Drink it while it's hot." I obey, at a loss for words. It's obvious he knows this isn't the first disturbing dream, but how much does he know? Does he believe they only started after Shura? Or does he know about the times in Outo where I would wake up screaming? And if he does know all this - what else have I failed to hide from him?

I finish my drink and place it back on the counter. There's another long silence.

"Did you have nightmares?" I finally ask. The mage shakes his head, but his jaw sets a little, like he's hiding something. I decide to ignore it.

"You'll have to show me that manoeuvre you did back there," he says with a smile, completely changing the subject. "That one, where you would spin on yourself-"

"A barrel? Sure, it's pretty easy," I answer, surprised. "You just have to remember not to fall out, that's all." He laughs. "I don't think you need my help. You were really good in the race," I comment. He shrugs humbly.

"But there's still room for improvement, isn't there?" It's not so much a question as a statement.

"Well… I guess you can never bet to the point where you can't improve anymore," I agree. He nods.

"That is why I suggest that you give me lessons tomorrow," he says. "You're much better at steering than I am. If the next race isn't straight, I'm doomed." He chuckles, but then rests his eyes on me a little more seriously. "If you would do me the honour of being my teacher, that is," he adds, but the playful smile on his lips contradicts any attempt to sound sincere. I find myself grinning back, rolling my eyes.

"Of course I'll be your teacher," I say. "But you have to pay me." His eyebrows rise in surprise.

"Really?"

"Really," I say, handing him my empty mug. "I want more hot chocolate." He chuckles, and quickly begins his whole chocolate-making routine again as I watch. We talk, and my heels drum rhythmically against the cabinets. This is infinitely better than staying alone in my room, trying to forget. My heart begins to soothe as I laugh at one of Fai's jokes. The chocolate mug is warm against my chest. I feel good.

"Pass me the marshmallows, will you?" Fai asks, and I reach for the plastic bag at my side. When I give it to him, however, his hand is too close to mine. I pull away hurriedly, but not before he can grab a hold of my wrist. The bag falls to the floor, and marshmallows roll over the linoleum. We both ignore it.

"Why won't you touch me?" he asks. He's still smiling, teasing a little, but I can hear something like sadness in his voice. I shake my head, pulling back. Our eyes are locked together, and I can't keep my gaze away from the blue of his irises.

"I… what are you talking about?" I try to bluff, even though I know it won't work. Fai's eyes now show hurt, probably at the fact I would believe him to be that stupid.

"Why won't you?" he repeats sadly. Our gazes clash, each of us trying to argue our point without uttering a word. It soon becomes obvious I'm not managing to convince him.

"Let me go," I finally say. I try to struggle, but his long fingers fit around my wrist like a vice. He looks almost pained.

"You don't have to be afraid," he says soothingly, like one would to a wounded animal. He lifts his hand to bring it parallel to mine. "You won't hurt me."

"Let me go," I say, starting to panic, "please…"

"I promise," he says, bringing his hand closer to my fingers. "I promise nothing will happen." I pull back with all my strength. I don't want him to touch me. I'm too unsure of myself to guarantee his safety.

"You don't know that!" I exclaim, shaking. "You don't know what I can…. You weren't there…"

"I do know," he says calmly, peering into my eyes. "I saw it before I shot. I know what it's like to be able to do things that you're afraid of. But you don't have to be." I shake my head.

"If you saw," I say, my voice trembling, "then why…?" His lips stretch into a sad smile.

"Because I know that what I saw wasn't you," he says softly. "It wasn't your fault. You were hurt, and afraid. You only did it to defend yourself."

"You don't understand!" I cry, trying to twist my wrist away. "I didn't want it to happen! I nearly killed him without wanting to! And… Fai… I liked it! I…" I feel tears run to my eyes now and bow my head. "I liked it," I whisper. "I'm a monster."

"No." Fai's voice is hard. "You are not a monster." I look up to see him frowning down at me. "Don't say that." I bite my lip.

"I don't want to hurt you," I finally say. "Please, let me go." Instead, he presses his hand to mine. I gasp, trying to run away, but he locks fingers with me. I close my eyes, trying to sense the magic coming, to stop it if it does. I can't stop trembling. Nothing happens.

"See?" Fai's voice says, and I feel a hand under my chin. "I'm still here." I open my eyes, only to see his reassuring smile. Our hands are still locked together, and he's still here, not writhing in pain or gasping for air. He's still Fai. I start sobbing, and he presses me against his body. He's warm. "I won't let you hurt me, okay?"

"You bastard!" I pull back suddenly. Rage and sadness and relief. My fist flies, hitting him in the stomach. The mage bends over with a grunt. "You goddamned bastard! Why? You could have killed yourself!" My only answer is a laugh, and soon I am slammed against Fai's shoulder.

"I like you too," he says, laughter still in his voice. I bury my face in his shirt, the way I did in Edonis, when I though he was dead. We stay like this for a while, neither of us moving.

Slowly, we separate. I don't dare look up to Fai now. My hand clutches emptiness, but my other one is still safely held in Fai's grasp. I've stopped crying; my lungs only heave a few, tearless sobs. I was so scared something would happen that I nearly forgot to breathe.

"Fai…" I say, so low I doubt he can hear me, "Fai, it's not just that. Nothing happened now, but… I don't know what's going to happen, and when. I can't control this magic. I could hurt one of you so easily, at anytime…" He pulls my chin towards him.

"You're seeing monsters where there aren't any," he tells me, and there's something incredibly tender in his eyes. "Everyone has the potential to do terrible things. Especially people like us. Magic isn't easy to understand, or control." His thumb runs against the back of my hand in small circles. "I know it's hard. But it's not that you have this potential that makes you a monster. It's whether or not you decide to use it. _Decide_, Aisha-chan. And you didn't decide to kill him, you said it yourself. That's why I trust you. That's why I don't believe you'll ever be a monster. Because you'd never decide to kill anyone. You even spared me." I close my eyes in an attempt to keep the tears from flowing. I can still feel his thumb rubbing the back of my hand. I recall doing the very same thing to Hisho, when he was afraid. I did this to Fai as well, a long time ago. Once in Koryo, once in Jade. Forever, it must seem for him.

"You remembered," I whisper, looking down at our joined hands. He smiles.

"How could I forget?" he replies. I try to smile through my repressed tears.

"Thank you," I say. He lifts my hand between us. "But…" he frowns as I continue, "Fai, I don't want to take the chance. I'm too afraid that I'll end up hurting one of you, I…" I start gently pulling my hand back; he clutches it harder.

"Aisha," he says, "tell me what you can do with your hands."

"What?"

"Name them. All of those things you can do with your hands, magical or not."

"Well, I…" I stop to think a little, "I can punch someone pretty hard. I can suck the life force right out of someone." My voice trembles, but his eyes urge me on. "I can cook, if that counts. I can wait tables and steer a bike. I can work on dragonflies. I can… I can heal," I admit, and Fai's surprised expression confirms that he didn't know that one. "I can shoot fire from my fingers. I can stop Mokona on a rampage. I can do the laundry and clean a house. I can…" I bite my lip, running out of ideas. Fai gladly continues for me.

"You can comfort your brother when he's just had a nightmare," he says, "and you can make coffee for Kuro-chan. You can fix things, and make one heck of an apple pie. You can hold someone's hand, or push away those who want to harm you. You can guide someone through an unknown place. And you can spare a man's life." I don't understand. Is he trying to thank me for not killing him? It scan his face, but it's completely unreadable, save for a small smile that tells me nothing.

"Fai…"

"Don't you think all the good things outnumber the bad, Aisha-chan?" he interrupts me, and I get the distinct impression that he knew exactly what I was going to ask. But then his question hits me.

"I… I don't know," I mumble, trying not to loose the fight. He's right, and I know it, but I don't easily accept defeat. And I'm still afraid. Numbers never seem to work in my favour.

"Life is about taking chances, don't you think?" he continues. I look away, biting my lip. "That, and…" he adds softly, "it would seem a bit unfair to keep the world from all the good you can do just to try and prevent it from the bad." His voice is nearly pleading now, and I find that I can't resist it. I look back to him in silence. His expression seems relieved. I sigh.

"If anything happens to you because of me, I'll never be able to forgive myself," I say. "But I guess you're right. Life is all about taking chances. So I'll take this one, as long as things seem harmless. But if there's the smallest hint that things are going wrong because of my magic, I'm stopping everything, okay?" He nods.

"You did it because you were afraid, back there," he whispers. "You won't do it for no reason."

"You don't know that," I argue. There's a small pause. His smile is sad.

"Some things just aren't worth taking the chance," he whispers softly, and I have the distinct impression that he's not looking directly at me. "But this is. Trust yourself, okay?" _You'll be fine. Trust yourself. _ I've heard these words before, but where? My kudan. The voice that wasn't supposed to be able to utter a word spoke to me. So far, she's been right, so why can't Fai be too? I nod with a sigh. He's officially won.

"If you want," he says, "I could help you to control it. I know it's nearly impossible," he adds, looking at my barrette, "but if we can find what triggers your magic, I could try to find a way to help you have a better grip on it. I know it probably won't amount to much, but it's worth a try, don't you think?" I think it over and nod. It's definitely better than nothing. I take a deep breath and force myself to be optimistic.

"If you would do me the honour of being my teacher," I quote with a timid smile. He grins.

"If you would do me the honour of being my student," he replies, sliding off the counter into an elegant bow. I nearly laugh.

"Thank you," I say, joining him on the ground. My feet slip on the marshmallows and I loose my balance, only to be caught by Fai. His eyes are worried at first, but then I start laughing and can't stop. He looks at me tenderly as I calm the hilarity in my lungs. When I'm done, he speaks.

"You don't have to be afraid of yourself," he says. Seeing as I bite my lip, he adds, "And I promise that I won't let you hurt any of us if it ever comes to that. You're not alone, okay? We can help you." I nod. "And don't be so hard on Kuro-puu. He really does like you, you know," he continues with a grin. I sigh and press my forehead against Fai's shoulder. It feels good to have a warm presence beneath my palm again.

"Thank you," I breathe for the third time. "I guess what I really needed was a hand to hold."

XxX

"Rise and shine!" I announce. "If you want to practice, it's early in the morning!" Fai's dishevelled head rises from underneath the covers with a grunt.

"This is too earlyyyyy!" he complains, stretching like a cat. "Is there even light out yet?"

"The sun's been up for an hour, you don't hear him complaining!" I reply, opening the blinds. "And I made pancakes! So, up you come!"

"Only a few more hours…" Fai groans, rolling over and pulling the covers over himself. I kick the bed.

"Now! Come on, even Sakura and Syaoran are awake," I argue. The mage snores loudly. I kick the mattress again, harder this time. "Don't pretend to be sleeping! I know you're in there! Fine, don't wake up… just don't say I didn't warn you…" I step out of the room, but not before setting Fai's alarm clock to ring in two minutes and jacking the volume up to its maximum.

"How are the pancakes?" I ask, peeking inside the dinning room. Sakura looks up from her plate, syrup dripping from her lips.

"These are so good! I had forgotten how much I love pancakes! You should make breakfast more often, Aisha."

"But…" Syaoran adds, eyeing the piece of pancake on his fork, "why is there small marshmallows in here?" I laugh, sitting down beside them.

"It's a long story," I say. "I don't really feel like telling it all this morning." Mokona jumps on the table.

"Aisha! Aisha! Mokona's excited because we all passed the preliminaries! And Mokona looooooves marshmallows, and-"

"Mokona's in big trouble for giving Sakura alcohol last night, yes we know!" I finish menacingly, lunging for the fur-ball. He barely manages to dodge me.

"But Aisha, alcohol is so fun!"

"Aisha, I really don't think it was that bad…"

"You have no say in this, you crashed your dragonfly into the house again!"

"Did I? Oh dear…"

"I-it's okay, hime, no one got hurt…"

"Anyways, what are your plans for today?" I ask, leaning on the table with great interest. The kids look at each other.

"Well," Syaoran starts, "we wanted to ride to the market to buy some things…"

"And then we were going to practice a little for the finals," Sakura concludes. I nod.

"Don't push yourselves too hard," I caution. "After all, we have five days before the finals. I don't want you two to get all nervous for nothing."

"Oh no, we aren't going to practice too much, don't worry!" Sakura says reassuringly. "Syaoran just wanted to show me this new addition he wants to add on his dragonfly." I look curiously at the boy, who shrugs.

"I'm going to buy some more turbines, to see if I can catch more energy with the same wind," he says. "Although I would like you to help me with those." He grimaces. "I didn't pay much attention to that part of the engine," he admits. I smile.

"Of course I'll help you," I say in fake modesty. "No one knows engines like I do! But, are you sure you don't want me to drive you there?" Syaoran nods, and by his timid sideways glance I understand that he's looking for time alone with Sakura. He may be too shy to ask for some, but I can recognize that look. I nod knowingly.

"I trust you more than I trust Kuro-sama," I admit. "With what he did to the poor car two days ago…" I shake my head hopelessly.

"Aisha, it wasn't really his fault-" Sakura starts, but my grin alerts her to my tease. I glance at my watch and wince. "Ah, but you two might want to leave soon if you want to go in town this morning."

"Why so early?" Sakura asks. As though to answer, a beeping loud enough to wake up the dead shakes the house, followed by the telltale yelp of someone falling out of bed. I smile innocently.

"I better hide," I say, rushing out the front door, laughing.

XxX

"Owie! You're so brutal!" Fai complains, rubbing his head. "Why does this have to be so early again?"

"Because," I say, shrugging. "This is good light, and it's not too warm yet, and there's a nice breeze, and I couldn't sleep this morning so I don't see any reason you should."

"So cruel! Is that any way to thank me for last night?"

"For nearly killing yourself and scaring me to death? Yes, this is a perfect way to say thank you," I reply, hoping in the Tsubame. The seating feels all wrong, but then again it's not my vehicle. Fai peers over my shoulder.

"I'm ready, Birdy-sensei," he jokes. I shake my head hopelessly.

"Okay, first of all, this is the wheel," I say. "Please tell me you know what the wheel is for?" The mage nods, and I sigh in relief. "Good. Now this is the lever. That controls inclination. For example, if you want to lean left or right without turning. You'll need that for a barrel. And this is the clutch. You use it to determine the pressure on the engine. More pressure means more power, which is not always equivalent to more speed, as well as more stress, but more control. Less pressure means less power, less strain, which allows you to go faster in some conditions, but a lot less control. Got that?" Fai nods with a knowing smirk, sending me a clear message: he already knows this. I pout.

"Well then, Mr. Know-it-all," I say, jumping out of his dragonfly, "let's see you try it!" I hop into the Stormchaser, and without waiting for Fai to follow me, I start the engine and begin to rise. Fai only meets me when I am hovering a good twenty feet above the ground. I turn to face him.

"Okay, let's start with a 360 spin," I say. "Just spin on yourself once, without moving laterally." The mage looks down at his controls, then at me with a puzzled expression.

"What?" he asks. I chuckle.

"Okay, reduce the pressure on the clutch, block the lever and spin the wheel until you do one full turn," I explain. Fai blinks slowly. I sigh. "Here, do what I do," I say, and demonstrate. Fai follows my movements hesitantly. When he is done, I applaud. "Good job! Faster now!" We wait until he has completely mastered this manoeuvre until we move on to the next one.

"Okay, the barrel," I say. "For this, you obviously need to be moving. I want you to keep the clutch in the middle, pull the lever very fast to one side, and remember to keep the wheel straight. Also, lean to the side you're turning towards, to make sure you don't get stuck upside down. Got it?" The mage nods, but his first attempt is disastrous. He forgets to keep the wheel straight and ends up swerving out of control, nearly falling on the house. He manages to straighten up at the last second and rise back up to the Stormchaser, where I am laughing uncontrollably. He laughs as well, and I make him try it again. Once again, he swerves off course. I'm breathless by the time he meets me again.

"Okay," I say, "enough of this. I bet you I can get to that tower before you!" The tower I am pointing too is about a hundred metres away. Enough for a small race.

Fai smiles dastardly. "I take the challenge," he says. "Three, two, one…Go!" We race to the tower, as fast as our dragonflies will take us. For the first half of the race I am clearly in the lead, but then Fai dashes forward in an explosion of blue flames. I follow suit, ducking under him and then back up in front, where I begin to slow down and speed up randomly to tease him. He manages to slip beside me, and we respectively push our crafts to their limits. Then Fai spins into a perfect barrel, startling me. I have to push back with a yelp to avoid his slicing wings, and lose my advantage. With a start, I realized he's just copied my technique to pass Shougo in the race yesterday – and he landed a barrel!

When I arrive at the tower Fai is already there, circling the building like a vulture, a victorious smile on his lips.

"Hey!" he calls, waving. "How was that one?" I laugh.

"Next time, don't take a chance in the middle of a race," I scold, "unless you want to make the other person crash and burn. But yeah, it was perfect." The mage punches the air.

"Woo!" he exclaims. I pout playfully, crossing my arms.

"I challenge you to a rematch!" I say, pointing back to the house. He gives me a thumbs-up.

"See you there!" he answers, dashing forward without a signal. I follow him madly.

"Cheater! No fair!"

XxX

"Morning!" Fai greets Kurogane. I keep my eyes locked on the television. "Syaoran-kun and the others already left…" Fai explains.

"How come you didn't go with them?" the ninja asks gruffly. Fai chuckles.

"Now, now, Daddy…" he tries to calm Kurogane, which only gets the ninja angrier.

"Who let you call me 'Daddy'?" he growls. I chuckle. Kurogane _is_ the protective type, after all. The nickname suits him.

"_Yesterday, in the Dragonfly preliminaries, the first place went to-"_

"Oh, look!" I say, pointing at the television. A close-up of Kurogane's face appears on screen.

"Hyuu-! Kuro-sama… how cool!" Fai comments with a devilish smile. "You know? No one watching this channel would suspect how kiiiind you are to children."

"YOU, SHUT UP!" The ninja marches heavily to the breakfast table and pours himself some coffee, muttering. Now that I think about it, it's a miracle Fai's alarm clock didn't wake him up, over an hour ago. For someone who should be always alert and ready to react at the slightest disturbance, he's not really showing it this morning. Maybe he's just tired, but I'm not about to ask him. It's been our tacit agreement that we politely ignore each other unless forced to acknowledge each other's existence. I haven't spoken a direct word to him since yesterday morning. I wonder if it's just his pride that won't let him apologize, or if he's afraid that I won't forgive him. I still don't know what it is for me. All I know is that I can barely take it anymore, standing in the same room as Kurogane but unable to speak to him. Finding him and Fai was supposed to make this all easy, bring it back like when we were in Outo, and instead everything is wrong. I've been awkward with Fai until last night, and now Kurogane and I don't speak to one another. I think Syaoran has noticed it, but he doesn't dare ask why. I hope he never asks, because I don't want to have to explain what our fight was about. I don't want him to see me as a murderer.

"I think I'll go wait for Sakura and Syaoran-kun outside," I say, standing up and heading for the door. The atmosphere in this room is asphyxiating. I can't take it. No one stops me, not even Fai, even though I know he wants to fix things between me and the ninja. I just don't think I'm ready to take the risk of another argument right now.

The air outside is cool. There are absolutely no clouds in the sky. I remember someone telling me a cloudless sky meant rain was coming the next day. I hope it will be during the night, so that I can still practice my flying with Fai tomorrow. Then again, maybe a bit of practice under bad weather could be good, in case there's rain the day of the finals. At least we'd be ready. I've heard somebody in town say that the weather is the real danger when flying a dragonfly; the machines themselves are fairly easy to manoeuvre, but when strong winds or storms get caught in the mix, it can become nearly deadly to ride one. That at least makes me glad I equipped the Stormchaser with a special coating to protect its engine from water. After all, it has to live up to its name. No rain will stop me. Which makes me think… I rummage through a toolbox, searching for the cans of aerosol paint. When I find the white, I vigorously shake it, then pop the cap. First, I practice on a wayward piece of scrap metal, some leftover from my many attempts to fix the car. Tomoyo did get the vehicle repaired, actually, like her bodyguard promised, and it now runs perfectly. I'm a little jealous, but then again I didn't really hold anything against trained professionals and a new electric box. When I'm somewhat satisfied with my design, I turn to my dragonfly. Underneath the stylized 'Stormchaser', I begin to trace the first line of what should become a bird wing. This is, in no way, a way to make Fai feel a little better by incorporating one of his annoying nicknames to my craft. Since I didn't let him name it and all… But it has nothing to do with that. I just happen to like birds. Really.

It's in this position – crouched on all fours, goggles on my eyes and a scarf over my mouth and nose to avoid painting my face white – that Shougo and his friends find me. I hear the slight rumble of a light engine make its way up the ramp and lift my head. Stepping out of a glossy black car, Shougo and some blond kid I remember from yesterday's race take a look at me. I stand up, and out of the car burst five guys dressed identically like Shougo. Four of them I recognize from his gang, and then there's this scrawny kid I've never seen before but who stands proudly among the others, like he belongs there. Then two more kids, dressed in identical black suits, join them to stand behind the blond kid from the race. I stare at the car in disbelief, trying to see how all these people ever managed to fit in there.

"Um… can I help you?" I ask, pulling down my goggles. The blond kid seems to recognize me instantly.

"Are you Kazumi-san?" he asks politely. I nod.

"Yes…"

"Owner of the Stormchaser?"

"Yes…" My eyes go warily from him to Shougo, trying to understand why they've come all this way, and how the hell they know my name.

"And you have passed the preliminaries yesterday? In fourth position, if I am not mistaken?" the kid asks with a smile. I nod, my finger inching towards the button on the spray-paint can. I don't know what I'm hoping to accomplish with that sort of weapon, but I'm used to improvising if things go bad. Shougo seems to catch my movement and reaches for something at his belt, but the kid stops him.

"She's innocent, I'm sure of it," he says, stepping forward with a gracious bow, leaning

too close to my liking. I snatch my hand away from his grasp and step back, bumping against my dragonfly in an attempt to keep a reasonable distance between us. I end up leaning back against my craft's wing, the bottle of paint raised defensively and pointed to the kid's face. He seems bewildered.

"What's going on out there- Hey! What the hell is this?" Kurogane chooses this moment to step outside. His eyes run quickly over the small crowd outside our house, then stop when he sees me and the boy, frozen in our positions. He steps towards us menacingly.

"Back off," he orders the kid, who obediently steps away. He then turns to me and roughly pulls me up. Did I just dream the vein throbbing near his temple?

"What's going on?" Fai skips down the stairs in his usual, carefree state. Kurogane glares at the small ensemble of people gathered before him.

"Who are you?" he asks gruffly. I rub my arm, still numb from Kurogane's grip, and carefully study our visitors. Shougo's gang all pull out short rods, which emit a menacing electric buzz. The blond boy only seems shocked and confused, like he doesn't understand our reactions.

"It's okay," I surprise everyone by speaking up. I'm careful not to look directly at Kurogane when I speak, but it's implicit that the message is mostly for him. "I'm sorry," I tell the boy, bowing slightly. "I'm a little… nervous." He smiles, seeming to understand.

"It would be my turn to apologize," he replies. "I shouldn't have startled you like that." Both Kurogane and Fai seem puzzled, their eyes questioning me. Shougo hasn't left his defensive position.

"Please, I don't think they'll need some more persuading," the boy says, motioning for the gang to drop their weapons. "Anyone accompanying such a beautiful young lady could not possibly be the culprit to such a crime." Shougo doesn't seem convinced, and we glare at each other. Although his gang was relatively friendly with ours, they were not our allies and I learned to always keep my guard up when around anyone from Shougo's part of town.

"Um… I don't mean to interrupt anything here, but what exactly are you referring to?" Fai asks, poking his head in our small circle. The blond kid smiles.

"Of course, allow us to introduce ourselves," he says. "I am called Nokoru Imonoyama." He motions to the two boys behind him.

"I am Suoh Takamura."

"Akira Ijyuin."

"Shougo Asagi." As he introduces himself, Shougo casually slips his rod back in his belt. His gang members follow his example. Kurogane's muscles loosen somewhat.

"Ah. I'm Fai D. Flourite, this here is Kuro-muy, and Aisha-chan over there. Can we help you with something?"

Nokoru nods. "Yes. If I am not mistaken, you have all placed for the finals of the Dragonfly race, correct?" His eyes linger on Kurogane. "Congratulations on the first place." The ninja grunts.

"What do you want?" he asks directly. Nokoru's calm face doesn't faze.

"Is there a possibility you might join us somewhere?" he offers. I shake my head.

"I'm sorry, but that's not possible," I answer. Sakura and Syaoran aren't back yet, and I don't want them to come back to an empty house.

Shougo pulls out his rod again. "Maybe they will need some more convincing, after all," he says, lifting a fist up in the air. I tense, because I remember that signal.

"Stop being such a hothead, Shougo!" I bark before the gang has a chance to leap into action. Now everyone is looking at me, bewildered. My eyes narrow when I look at Shougo. "We can't go," I say slowly, detaching every syllable as though I was talking to a child, "because, for one, we are expecting someone to come back and we don't want to leave without telling them where we are. And secondly, said people have taken our car, and I don't exactly see how we could all fit in yours. I'm still wondering how the nine of you made it here in it. But anything you would like to talk about, we can talk about here." The air is tense between us. Shougo obviously doesn't understand my animosity, but doesn't seem to mind returning it. Fai clears his throat.

"Well, as Raki-chan so justly put it, we're stuck here," he says in an effort to relieve the tension. "If you want to talk, you can just step this way. Would you like something? A drink, maybe?"

"A drink would be lovely," Nokoru answers politely. Shougo and I don't budge. His gang gathers behind him protectively. Kurogane tenses up again beside me.

"I'll go get some chairs," I finally say, counting the number of people we will have to sit at our patio table. I step into the house, only to find the ninja has followed me. Together, we haul the heavy chairs outside without a word. Fai's in the kitchen, pulling out cups and filling them with some drink which I hope is not alcoholic. When we all step back outside and sit, I find that I've landed right in front of Shougo. Great.

Please, note the sarcasm.

"We are here to discuss about what happened yesterday at the preliminaries," Nokoru confirms my suspicions. "If you would have been able to follow us, we would have shown you the video my friends Takamura-san and Ijyuin-san have taken of the race. We simply would have liked you to see what they have captured regarding the strange events."

"Several crafts exploded yesterday, in the middle of the race," Shougo points out.

"Really? Your deduction skills are simply _fascinating_," I say sarcastically, leaning forward across the table and pretending to be all ears. Fai lifts an eyebrow, clearly wondering why I am reacting so negatively to Shougo's presence. Shougo studies my face carefully, his eyes at first wide with surprise and then narrow with suspicion.

"You're that girl from yesterday," he finally realizes. "The one who passed me in the final stretch." I lift my chin up.

"Yes."

"Well. Any particular reason you yelled at me, or do you just do that to anyone?"

"There's a reason," I assure him. I didn't really hold a grudge against him until I saw him here, but now I seem to blame him for everything. Had he not lost his territory a few hours prior, I would have been able to get to work without any problems. I wouldn't have been chased down by a rival gang. I wouldn't have landed where I am now. And I know it's unfair, but I want him to pay for it a little.

"As I was saying," Nokoru continues, unfazed, "we have come to the only conclusion that some lightning powder had been scattered in the air prior to the race, and that a gust of wind probably pushed it back towards the dragonflies. Analyzing the wind patterns and timing, it has become clear that the culprit of this must be one of the twenty to have passed on to the finals." I exchange a glance with Fai and Kurogane. We haven't talked about it much, but I had come to the conclusion that this was no accident as well. "We've been investigating among the finalists to try and find the culprit," Nokoru concludes. I frown.

"And exactly what gives you the authority to conduct an investigation?" I ask, skeptic. Nokoru smiles.

"Shougo-san is a national guard of the country," he says. I look to Shougo in disbelief. Really? The idea of finding him on the other side of the law makes me want to laugh. This is just too much.

"And Nokoru is the youngest son in the Imonoyama Zaibatsu industry, which runs parallel to Piffle Princess," Shougo continues about his companion. Nokoru nods in agreement.

"I've known Tomoyo-san since we were little," he says.

"Really?" Fai asks with a naïve smile. "She's such a sweet girl." We both send glances to Kurogane, who pointedly ignores us.

"Okay," I say to Nokoru, "but how did you find us? We're new to this country, surely there's no record of us before about five days ago…" I see Shougo's friends whisper to each other. I've probably said something to heighten suspicions against us, but I don't care.

"I assume the names Syaoran-kun and Sakura-san sound familiar?" Nokoru asks, taking a sip of his beverage. I look at Fai, and I feel my eyes grow wide with worry. What are they doing in this?

"Where are they?" I ask, perhaps a bit too hurriedly. Nokoru smiles reassuringly.

"We've only kept them a short time, do not worry. They should still be at the market. They're the ones who gave us your address, after assuring us of your innocence. Since we have been able to prove they were unaware of the misdeed, your participation seems highly unlikely, that is why this visit was only a thing of principle."

"Without our lie detectors, we can't say for sure," deplores the one named Suoh Takamura. Fai cocks his head to the side.

"A lie detector?" he asks. Nokoru nods.

"If you had been able to follow us, we would have placed you in chairs of Imonoyama Zaibatsu design, which also act as lie detectors," he explains. "But since this is not possible, we will have to do things the good old-fashioned way."

"Do any of you know anything that could help us in our investigation?" Shougo asks. Fai shakes his head, Kurogane grunts negatively. I take a minute to think.

"Kyle passed, right?" I ask the others. "If he did, I'd vote for him out of sheer dislike." My comment manages to extract a chuckle from Fai, but only puzzled glances from everyone else.

"This Kyle… you think he did it?" Shougo asks. I shake my head.

"It's a long story," I sigh. "I just don't like him, okay? But no, I have no reason to suspect him." Our visitors seem confused, but I only shrug. "It was a joke," I try lamely. "Come on – humour. You know what that is, right?" Shougo looks at me oddly, as though he can't quite figure me out. I glare back. It seems my default expression when I look at him.

"Well, this seems as far as we can go, given our situation," Nokoru announces. "I appologize for any inconvenience we have caused you." He stands. Fai motions him to sit back down.

"There's no hurry," the mage says with his usual smile. "You can stay longer if you'd like." Nokoru seems to consider the proposition, and then sits.

"We can always use a bit of friendly conversation," he says with a smile, leaning back against his chair. I stand up and begin to clean up the empty cups around the table. I drop a few in the sink, then step back outside for the others. When I pass him, Fai is deep in conversation with Shougo.

"Did she learn to fight somewhere?" the former asks, oblivious to my presence. "As soon as we called her by name, she grew all suspicious and pulled a can of spray paint as a weapon…"

"Really? That sounds just like our Birdy-chan," Fai chuckles. "She used to be part of a gang in her country, you know. She hits really hard." Things seem suddenly clear for Shougo.

"So she's one of those delinquents, huh?" he asks. "Well, that explains a lot. Is she in a rehab program or something?" Unable to contain myself any longer, I send my hand flying and give both men a slap upside the head. They simultaneously bring a hand to their heads and turn to me with an indignant expression.

"I'm not a delinquent," is all I give them as an explanation. I turn my back on them and leave to dump another pile of cups in the sink to clean later. I really hate it when people call me that, but they're still at it when I come back.

"Is she always so touchy? Sheesh, you'd never guess she was such a spitfire, just looking at her."

"She is pretty cute, isn't she?" Fai answers with a broad grin. My hand flies again, this time only cuffing Shougo. Then, as a second thought, it comes back to smack Fai. I don't even bother with explanations this time, only offering them both a cold look.

I think they're never going to leave, but finally the whole gang piles up into the slick black car again and leaves, not before I send Shougo another few icy glares.

"I'm totally beating you in the finals," I mutter, watching their car slowly pick up speed as it runs down the platform. Then I collapse on the stairs, drained. Hating people is hard work.

"Pinky-chan… did you know him?" Fai appears in front of me. His expression is totally innocent, but I still punch him on the shoulder.

"I'm not goddamned _cute_," I growl, looking away. Fai's eyes grow wide with shock, and I turn to him to find the reason for his silence. My hit wasn't that hard; it was only a playful punch, one that usually would have been followed with heart-wrenching complaints and dramatic death sequences. But not this disbelieving silence.

Then, Fai breaks into a naïve smile and turns to Kurogane. "Kuro-tan, she punched me! Look, look, she really did! You saw it right? She hit me!" I wonder if I'm the only one to detect genuine joy in the mage's voice.


	31. The Hard Part

**Disclaimer: I don't own TRC.**

**Hahaha, New chapter! Okay, this one may be a little weird. I dunno. Every time I add something that's not in the original manga, I start doubting myself. But overall, I'm pretty satisfied with it. **

**Okay, about that very last sentence: yes, I am aware that is something Kurogane would never say out loud, even if he thought no one could hear him. He's hardly the type to talk about his feelings. But I had to give that quick glimpse inside his head. Because, as Aisha so justly points out, they understand each other too well ^_^**

**XxX**

"So you knew Shougo?" Fai asks again, throwing me a wrench.

"Yeah," I answer. I catch the tool and stuff it in the toolbox at my side. "Well, not this one – there was one in Hanshin. It's funny, actually, because they look exactly the same, but… well, I really didn't expect him to be in law enforcement, of all things," I admit with a small laugh.

"Hmm. I'm not really surprised. He did look like that kind of guy," Fai notices. I frown in surprise.

"You met him?" I suddenly remember that, although I know they've passed through Hanshin I have almost no idea what they did there.

"Briefly," the mage shrugs. "I didn't talk to him personally, but Syaoran-kun did. And of course, Primera-chan seemed quite fond of him." Fai smiles at the memories, but I only sneer at the pop diva's name. I was never one for her music, let alone her childlike behaviour and adoring fans.

"I never understood how he stood her," I comment, and Fai laughs.

"Kuro-wanwan liked her, isn't that right?" he coos to the ninja, who grunts angrily and dives deeper into the entrails of his dragonfly. I can't help but chuckle.

"In a roundabout way, she did save his life," I point out, remembering the thick fan magazine and how it was used as a shield against the Koryo witch's claws. But still my tone of voice is clear: I am talking about Kurogane, not to him. I'm not breaking our unspoken rule of silence.

Fai chuckles. "Why were you so angry at him, though? Did something happen before we stepped out?"

"No," I shrug, holding out the spray paint can in front of me. "Nothing but that Nokoru guy. It's just… well, something happened in Hanshin before I found you guys, and I kind of blame him for it."

"A little childish, isn't it? It's not the same guy," Kurogane blurts out, but once again our mutual silence remains unbroken. His eyes were clearly set on Fai when he spoke, as though he was simply asking the mage's opinion on the subject. Fai just shrugs.

"I guess," he says, straddling the line to avoid choosing a side.

"Well, whatever," I conclude. With one last spritz, I tilt my head to the side critically to observe my work. Fai peeks over my shoulder.

"What's that?" he asks.

"A bird wing," I answer. He scratches his head, cocking it to mimic mine.

"Really?" he asks, frowning. "Are you sure?" I look down, defeated.

"It's not my fault if I can't draw!" I whine, slumping on the ground. Fai laughs, and grabs the paint can from me.

"Do you need help?" he offers. I nod sheepishly.

"It looks as though a three-year old drew it," I say, shaking my head. "I'm horrible." Fai pats my head cheerily.

"Nothing a bit of alterations can't fix," he reassures me, hastily getting to work. I grab the screwdriver he's dropped.

"I'll finish up whatever you were doing then," I decide, walking to the Tsubame. Fai lifts a hand to try and stop me, but I get to his engine first and observe it critically.

"You've been trying to reconfigure the clutch so that it doesn't have such a wide range?" I ask, a little surprised. The mage shrugs.

"I never use the low extreme, and I figured it would be easier if I eliminated the options I don't need," he explains. I nod.

"Well then, I can arrange that for you in no time," I say, plunging into the dragonfly's carcass and reaching for the panel that separates the command wires from the engine. I unscrew the metal board, and let it slide to the side as I inspect what I have to work with. Fai's already configured the right links into the engine, now all I have to do is work with the clutch itself and apply the correct modifications to the electric box.

We work in silence for a while, and the only thing that breaks the silence is the rhythmic spraying of paint and the wind blowing in our ears. With a grunt, I pull myself out of the engine when I'm nearly finished to approve my work. I grimace and rub at a grease stain on my arm.

"Just one more question," Fai says, one eyebrow lifted in an almost comical expression as he observes his painting. "Why did you suddenly react when Shougo lifted his hand? Was that bad or something?"

"It's not bad," I answer, climbing onto Fai's dragonfly to reach for the toolbox, a feat I would have been incapable of accomplishing a few days ago. Maybe my leg is healing, after all. "It's just because he used that signal in Hanshin too, so I know what it means." I mimic the signal, an open hand becoming a closed fist. "It means 'surround'," I explain. "Kento would use it sometimes as well. They already had their weapons out, so I just figured that if they wanted to circle us it wasn't a good thing."

"You talk like you know his strategies a lot," Fai points out. "Were your two gangs allies?" I shake my head.

"We weren't enemies, but we weren't allies either. We would let them on our territory and they would let us on theirs, as long as we didn't cause any trouble," I explain. "But trust me, if we would have brought a fight on their streets they would have been on us faster than flies to honey."

"There, all done!" Fai calls. I lean over to see what now looks like a beautifully stylized bird wing. I still recognize my hand in it, but all the rough lines have been smoothed out and perfected. I smile.

"Thank you," I say and Fai grins in return. "I'm almost done with yours too, I just have to test it." I slip into the driver's seat. Just then, the slight purr of the car's engine makes its way up the ramp that leads to our house.

"They're back," Fai announces before I can start the engine. The car skids to a halt in front of us, and out pours Syaoran and Sakura, holding boxes and bags. Mokona sits atop these, a smug little expression on his face and a flower in his paws. I suspect the later to come from Nokoru, whose Casanova behaviour around women had me worried.

"Hello!" I call, waving. Sakura answers but Syaoran is frowning, a thoughtful expression etched in his features.

"What do we have here?" Fai says teasingly, smoothing out his own forehead to give Syaoran a hint. The boy quickly looses his worried expression, and Fai shakes his head. "You'll have wrinkles, Syaoran-kun," he warns. The boy nods.

"But these people we met at the market…" he starts. We don't have time to hear about their encounter with Nokoru and Shougo, however, because Mokona's eyes suddenly open with a resounding 'Mekkyo!' We all watch in surprise as the fur-ball starts gracefully floating in the air, a strong aura of magic around him. A ray of light shoots out from the jewel on his forehead, stopping abruptly in a wide circle. When the image in the circle stabilizes, I recognize a beautiful woman with long black hair. The witch of dimensions.

"Yuuko! It's Yuuko!" Mokona croons happily. The rest of us are either bewildered or just plain disgruntled. That witch isn't too well loved in this group.

"Well, there's a little problem," Yuuko speaks, offering us one of her cold smiles.

"Problem?" Syaoran repeats. We are too busy trying to see what would bring her to contact us now to pay attention to her – which is a little ironic.

She nods. "Where are your clothes?" she asks, tilting her head to the side. Kurogane frowns.

"Huh?" he asks. I look down at my shirt and pants. What does she mean by that? She smiles, this time a little teasingly.

"Where are your original clothing?" she asks again.

"We left them in the country of Shara," Syaoran explains. I nod.

"It's because that white meat bun keeps erratically sending us to different worlds," grumbles Kurogane, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"We went back to the country of Shara, but we immediately came to Piffle world," Fai explains, more polite. The focus of the witch's image seems to change and move to the side. Behind her, I see a clothes rack and recognize my capris and tank top, as well as Syaoran's clothes and Kurogane's cloak. A little girl in a pink dress holds up Sakura's clothes, and Fai's coats are hanging a little to the side.

"My clothes!" Sakura gasps.

"I retrieved them from the country of Shara," Yuuko explains.

"Yuuko is so awesome!" Mokona shrieks. Both Syaoran and Sakura bow respectfully.

"Thank you very much," the boy says. I scowl. I sense there's something we don't know yet about this.

"Well, send them over already!" Kurogane orders impatiently, visibly eager to have his armour back. But Yuuko smiles coldly.

"I won't," she says. My eyes narrow in anger and surprise.

"WHAT?" Kurogane bellows.

"These clothes are no longer yours. They're mine now," she explains. "If you want them back, you have to pay the price."

"What did you say?" the ninja growls angrily, urging Fai to back away cautiously. The mage doesn't seem too put off by this turn of events.

"After all, she found it," he says. "Finders keepers." A vein throbs near Kurogane's temple. Obviously the wizard doesn't care much about his previous clothing. I don't either, simply…

"My wallet!" I clasp my hand on my back pocket, the familiar weight gone. "You found it too, right? With my clothes?" I thought I'd lost it in Shara but it hadn't bothered me that much, as I could still recall the pictures perfectly in my memory. I had grown accustomed to the fact that they were gone and only thought of it as one more cruel twist of fate, but now that I know they've been found the yearning to see them gets stronger.

"I have found your wallet, but you will have to pay a price for it as well," the witch says serenely. I want to punch her.

"What must we give you?" Syaoran asks, coming to the rescue before I burst uncontrollably.

"Something equivalent in value to your clothes," the witch answers as though it were obvious. The kids begin to think, and I personally rummage through my mind to find something of equal value to my clothes. I don't really care about them – they're just clothes, after all – but I want my wallet back. I suddenly wonder if sentimental value counts as something in Yuuko's world. Probably, given the prices she took from me and the others.

"When you think of something, have Mokona call me out. Until then, I will be keeping your clothes," she assures us with a smile.

"All right!" Syaoran agrees. She gives us a sly look.

"Ah, but if you take too long, your clothes… you may not be able to redeem them," she informs us. Kurogane, Syaoran and I have similar reactions.

"What?" we exclaim as one.

"What kind of business do you run?" I ask furiously, while Kurogane thunders: "It's not a pawnshop!" Syaoran seems speechless. The witch laughs. If she would be standing next to us, I would lash at her right now.

"Uh… Um!" Sakura suddenly interrupts, after remaining silent for the entire conversation.

"Yes?" the witch responds, ignoring the fact that me and Kurogane are clearly fuming. Sakura continues.

"The first time I met you, I was asleep," she begins. "The second time, I was still in a trance-like state. So now that we meet again, I would like to thank you." The princess bows, before my bewildered eyes. "You so kindly lent us Mokona. I am really very grateful." Yes, she gave us the fur-ball. What Sakura doesn't know is that this wasn't an act of generosity. That witch means business, and we had to pay for it.

"What do you think of journeying?" Yuuko asks, suddenly acting very kind. But the same coldness still remains in the back of her eyes.

"I think it must be hard for one person," Sakura answers, then turns to us and smiles. "But because we travel together, it's better." I can't help but smile back. Sakura blushes. "It's just that I keep falling asleep, so I'm not that helpful," she adds, and I shake my head with a hopeless smile. Always the same.

The sound of a door slamming and footsteps come from where the witch is standing, a few worlds away. She turns her head hurriedly to the noise. "He's here," she states plainly, and the image begins to dissolve. I wonder for a moment who that witch could have been expecting, then shrug. Her business isn't mine. But then the image gains solidity again, and the witch's face appears closer than it was before. A mischievous expression alights her face.

"That's right. 'White day,'" she says, as though an afterthought. "If you make me wait past White day, you won't be able to redeem Ginryuu or the tattoo either."

"STOP JOKING, YOU GREEDY BITCH!" Kurogane explodes, his face red, but Yuuko has once again disappeared. I seriously hope she was joking about that last one. I'm not sure about Fai, but Kurogane would most likely storm her shop to steal his sword back if necessary. From what I know, he's really attached to it; I think I've heard something about it being a family heirloom of some sort, although I'm not sure about the specifics. But after all, the witch did say she took what was most precious to all of us, and to Kurogane, that was Ginryuu. If he can't have it back… and I don't even know what White day is! Apparently I'm not the only one.

"What's White day?" I hear Syaoran ask, but everyone shakes their heads. No one knows.

"Oh! Forgot to explain," Mokona suddenly bounds in the centre of our grouping. I catch him. "We've gotten chocolates from Yuuko before, right?"

"Ah-" Fai seems to recall it. "In Outo country…" I suddenly get a chocolate craving, remembering the smooth taste of those fondants.

Mokona bobs up and down. "Because it was Valentine's day," he explains. "In Mokona's world, Valentine's day is when you give other people yummy chocolates to eat. And then, if you get a present on Valentine's day, you return the favour on White day!" The fur-ball spits out an object that I recognize as the arrow that shot out of his mouth during Kurogane's and Seishiro's duel. There's a note attached to it, which I can read, surprisingly. Something about White day being a time for giving back, and the punishment being tripled if we're late. I wonder why I've never seen it before now.

"However," Mokona continues, "since you didn't give her anything, I think Yuuko is mad."

"What?" Kurogane yells, still upset over the witch's promise to keep Ginryuu away from him, lest he pay her before White day. "We have to give her a present!" Fai cocks his head to the side thoughtfully.

"That's true…" he starts with a smile. I scowl.

"What should be give her, though?" Syaoran asks, looking at the note and trying to decipher it. I translate it for him. He seems surprised.

"You read this?" he asks. I shrug.

"Guess so," I say. "It's the same as in my country." Mokona jumps atop Syaoran's head. The boy looks up to the sky in an attempt to see the fur-ball.

"Does the present have to be anything in particular?" he asks.

"Some countries have requirements, but you can give Yuuko anything," Mokona answers. My face lights up.

"How about we give her _nothing_?" I offer. "Isn't that a good idea?" Kurogane glares at me. Of course, such a course of action would separate him from Ginryuu in a permanent fashion. I decide I don't want his wrath to fall on me if such a thing happens, so I shut up.

Sakura looks thoughtfully to the ground. "I want to…" she mutters, and everyone turns to her. "I'd love to give the Witch of dimensions a thank-you gift!" she exclaims with a smile. I gap. Seriously?

"Yeah," Syaoran smiles back.

"Just count me out," I mutter. The last time I saw her she took away what was most precious to me with no way of getting it back. Remind me again why I should be giving her a present? And I knew there was a catch to those fondants…

"Well, let's discuss what we want to give her," Fai decides.

"Sure," Syaoran nods.

"We can have some dessert while we talk," Fai settles, then turns to Kurogane with a devilish grin. "You come help too, Father dear-"

"Father dear-" echoes Mokona. Kurogane's eyes flame brightly and storm clouds gather around his head as he turns around and grabs the fur-ball from Fai's head. Both idiots squeal happily under the ninja's murderous scowl. I rub my temples with a sigh.

"A witch gives us an impossible deadline, Fai wants to eat dessert before we even have lunch and both he and Mokona are apparently suicidal," I mutter. "Then people wonder why I'm stressed. I live with nut balls!" The sound of jets and a small rotor pull me from my reverie. It's not unusual for dragonflies to fly around here, but never as close to the ground as this one appears to be. A shadow falls on us.

"You guys sure look happy," a cheerful voice rings above us. Our heads jerk up as one to see a flying ship – pink, of course – with the Piffle Princess seal on it. Tomoyo-chan is leaning over the edge of her vehicle, waving eagerly.

"Hello!" Fai waves back. "Would you like to join us for dessert?"

"Of course!" she replies, but I have the feeling she would have invited herself regardless. Seeing her there, Kurogane gingerly releases Mokona from his grasp, and the fur-ball bounces away, dancing. I count two bodyguards accompanying the young girl.

"I'll go get the cake," I sigh.

XxX

"This is delicious!" Tomoyo exclaims, taking only one bite out of the white, fluffy cake.

"I made it with Sakura!" Mokona boasts smugly.

"That's wonderful!" Tomoyo claps.

"Sakura-chan's cooking's getting better and better," Fai comments proudly, grinning towards the princess. She blushes.

"It's because Fai-san taught me in such an easy to understand fashion," she replies humbly. Tomoyo observes her curiously.

"May I call you Sakura-chan as well?" she asks.

"Of course," Sakura answers with a smile. "Can I call you Tomoyo?"

"Yes, of course you can," Tomoyo answer happily. The two girls exchange bright smiles.

"How sweet – two cute girls smiling so happily-" Fai says.

"Mokona is smiling! Look, look, Mokona is cute too!" I forcefully push an empty tray into Fai's arms.

"Kitchen," I order, my eyes flaming. "Now." The mage obeys, laughing. I don't care how innocent his comments are, he has no business calling girls who could be his little sisters cute.

Syaoran turns to Tomoyo. "Were there really people disrupting the preliminaries?" he asks without a warning. Tomoyo starts. Her two bodyguards are standing stiffly behind her, drinking tea. At the boy's question they both look up like automatons.

"Why do you ask?" Tomoyo asks, feigning innocence, but her nervous jump already betrayed her.

"Today, we met some people that said so," Syaoran replies seriously. "Shougo-san and Nokoru-san told me that." Tomoyo jerks up, surprised. All eyes are now on her as Syaoran tells his story. "They sat us in chairs that were actually lie detectors and showed us a videotape. On it, we could see the wind being blown back from the finish line, hitting the dragonflies with lightning powder. They said only the top twenty finalists would have been in a position to do that. The chairs told them we were innocent, but they're still investigating. Actually," he says, looking at me and Kurogane, "they said they would stop here." I nod.

"They did, but since we didn't have the car we couldn't follow them into town for them to show us the tape," I answer. "Shougo actually got pretty upset about that, but we ended up just talking here. Nokoru-san said we were most likely innocent and left." Kurogane grunts. I get the feeling he didn't like them very much.

Tomoyo seems worried. "I see," she finally says. "So Nokoru-san showed you the videotape…"

"The lie detector looked just like a normal chair," Mokona comments eagerly, jumping into Fai's outstretched hand. The mage has just entered the room again, but there's no doubt he was following the conversation from the kitchen.

"That was quite an invention," he agrees. Sakura smiles at Tomoyo.

"He said he grew up with you," she says. Tomoyo nods but doesn't smile back.

"Yes, that's true," she says.

"Shougo-san said he was part of the National Guard," Syaoran adds.

"That's true as well," she admits, biting her lip. Everyone looks slightly worried at her expression, except Kurogane. I guess he knows her so well he can read her perfectly, a little like I could guess Shougo's intentions. Finally, Fai leans forward with a smile.

"Why is Tomoyo-chan so depressed?" he asks kindly. She doesn't look at us.

"No," she answers. "It's nothing. I'm just worried about something…"

"Are you concerned over what took place in the preliminaries?" Syaoran asks. Tomoyo looks down at her hands.

"I'm very sorry about that," she sighs. Sakura seems concerned.

"Is there anything we can do to help?" she asks worriedly. Tomoyo smiles joylessly.

"Thank you very much," she says. "But, being the chairman of the company, it is my duty to prevent such things from happening." I suddenly understand all the pressure such a young girl must be under, already being in charge of such a large corporation. But I know it's amazing what people can accomplish when left on their own. Tomoyo's eyes come back to us, coldly determined.

"Right now," she says, "our company's inquiry branch has begun investigating the contestants and any related personnel. We will definitely single out the person behind these activities." Kurogane remains silent, but I know he wants to speak. Just because we ignore each other doesn't mean I don't know when he starts to think about something. There's always something in his eyes then, an energy he radiates. I wonder if he can still read me as well as he could, even though he won't look at me.

"Is that what Tomoyo came to tell us today?" Mokona asks curiously. The girl shakes her head and stands.

"No. Actually…" she dives towards Sakura and grabs the other girl's hands, her serious eyes peering into the princess's. "What will you wear for the finals?" she asks dramatically, as though it was a matter of prime importance. Everyone stares, and I can't help but laugh. I laugh through the following dialogue:

"Heh?"

"Have you decided yet?"

"No, not yet."

"In that case, allow me to make you something! I've already thought up the perfect racing costume for my uber-cute Sakura-chan-" Tomoyo rises again, eyes sparkling, arms extended like wings. "Wearing my homemade attire, Sakura-chan soars, flutters and skims through the air! It's too perfect-" Sakura's eyes look to us, confused and pleading, but none of us dare to speak. Tomoyo twirls eagerly, lost in her world.

"Mokona wants a racing costume too!" the fur-ball demands.

"I'll take care of it!" Tomoyo vows fervently. We all look at each other, wondering who will stop her – if anyone will. If things go on this way, she'll make us all matching outfits.

"Um… Tomoyo-chan…" Sakura starts and Tomoyo hugs her fiercely, cutting her off.

"You will be the star of the show! You are my female star! It is my duty to make you look your best!" I observe the scene with an amused smile, my laughing fit finally over. Still, I can see the strain in Tomoyo's eyes. She's having fun now, but she knows much more serious matters await once this is over. I decide to play along.

"I think pink would be the perfect colour, don't you?" I exclaim excitedly. She nods.

"Yes! With gold and white and little wings and boots!"

"You read my mind!" I gasp overdramatically. For a moment I feel like Fai, running eagerly across the room, pretending to understand Tomoyo's banter about colours and cuts, and flying around Sakura, measuring her and placing her hair, trying to plan the perfect makeup. I insist on something light, remembering the hands of Shara, but we finally settle on a natural look given Sakura's perfect complexion. We also decide her hair should be let loose and choose long gloves over short ones. It's only a good twenty minutes later that we fall back on our chairs, chuckling and breathless. Sakura's dress has been planned out and decided upon, without the princess's participation, but Tomoyo's eyes gleam carelessly. I'm happy.

XxX

"Okay, let's see what we have here," I say, bending over and shuffling through Syaoran's bag. The boy looks over my shoulder worriedly. I've promised to help him install his new turbines today, and now that we finally have a moment of peace and quiet I'm about to do just that.

"Is it okay?" he asks as I pull out a turbine, still carefully wrapped. I frown and turn it in my hands several times. Then I look into the bag and gasp.

"What is it?" the boy sounds nervous. I shake my head and can't help a chuckle.

"Syaoran-kun," I start, "exactly how many of these did you think you would need?"

"Um, I… maybe I took a few extras, just in case…" he concedes. I cluck with my tongue.

"A few…?" I ask, disbelieving, showing him the mountain of carefully packaged turbines in the plastic bag. He looks down sheepishly.

I laugh. "Hey, don't feel bad!" I tell him. "We'll just go back tomorrow and exchange those we don't need, okay? Everybody makes mistakes." He nods again, so I shake my head.

"Are you sure you need more turbines?" I ask. "You were going pretty fast yesterday."

"It's because I wanted to be able to gain more speed when going against the wind," he explains. "I think I'm getting the speed I want, but I don't have enough power to fight the wind, so I end up loosing speed." I nod. The dragonflies take off and hover using the energy stored in the electric box, but while they are flying they are powered by wind. The wind enters the engine through a vent at the front of the craft, and makes the turbines turn, which generates electric energy using a system of magnets. It's all pretty simple when you think about it. If you go against the wind, the turbines turn faster, which generates more electricity, therefore more speed. But if you still don't have enough energy to fight the wind, the power is lost.

"You don't need more power to do that," I reply thoughtfully. "You just have to ride on the current instead of into it." Syaoran thinks that over for a minute.

"I guess you're right," he says. "But I would still like to know what more turbines could do." He really wants to win this race, I realise. I already knew, but this only proves it further. So I observe the turbine in my hand and nod.

"Well, let's see what we can do today," I say. "I suggest we don't put them all in at once, just to make sure your engine won't overheat, okay?" The boy nods. I smile daringly. "And once we're done, would you like to take it for a little spin?" I offer. "You and me?" Syaoran looks up at me, and a smile lights up his features.

"Maybe I can win this time," he muses. I grin playfully.

"I just might stop you," I warn.

XxX

The wind whistles in my ears as I rush through the night sky. The stars feel so close I just know I could touch them if I reached out. My dragonfly rumbles reassuringly under me, proof that this is not just another dream. I really am flying.

"Loosen the clutch!" I call, hearing Sakura's engine emit a worrying whistle. "You're putting too much strain on your engine." The princess obeys, and instantly her dragonfly picks up both speed and efficiency. Syaoran and I hover above and beside her; we've made it our mission to make sure Sakura doesn't need our help during the finals. The race will have to wait for tomorrow.

"Could we try higher?" Sakura asks. She's also determined to hold her own during the finals. One glance with Syaoran and he begins explaining:

"So, if you simply pull the wheel towards you…" And we're off to catch some higher winds. I'm a little disappointed that the stars remain so untouchable, but I guess you'd have to get much higher than we are now to lay a hand on them. On the bright side, Sakura seems confident with her driving.

"Good job!" I tell her, giving her a thumbs-up. She smiles proudly.

"Just like that!" Syaoran takes over, beaming. "Keep a high altitude!" I almost feel like I'm watching a father teaching his daughter how to take her first steps. It's heart-warming.

With a loud whoop, I dive into a series of complicated knots and loops. I barely see where I'm going, because I'm so fast, but I love it. Syaoran seems to have adapted to his new turbines pretty well, and he's gained a bit of speed too. I do a barrel around him, and then straighten my craft with a laugh. Underneath us, we see the tiny forms of Fai and Kurogane talking, but I don't care about them for now.

"That was amazing!" Sakura exclaims. I grin.

"Focus on going straight, and then I'll show you how," I promise. She's shown some abilities already, with that perfect turn in the preliminaries, but so far she hasn't been able to reproduce it anywhere else. "Now, faster!" I order, and our troupe dashes forward.

"Now brake!" Syaoran calls behind him, to Sakura.

"Got it!" Sakura calls back eagerly. Suddenly, instead of slowing down, Sakura's dragonfly shoots forward at top speed, even faster than we were previously going. The princess yelps.

"NO! Hime! That's the gas pedal!" Syaoran yells worriedly. I follow her.

"The pedal to the left!" I shout. She slams her foot on the brake, but this time starts falling towards the ground.

"Sakura!" I call, flying in tight circles around her dropping vehicle. Syaoran joins me. "Just press on the gas pedal, softly," I order, putting emphasis on the last word. The ground is coming up fast. "Now pull the lever and release the clutch!" When the princess is finally hovering, we can all breathe. Fortunately, we were high enough that she had the time to correct her fall before hitting the ground. I slouch in my seat with a sigh, looking up to the sky. My heart is still beating madly against my chest.

"You're so spunky," I admonish Sakura with a smile. "You'll have to slow down a little, or else Syaoran-kun and I are going to get heart attacks." The boy is still breathless and seems a little dizzy. Sakura looks down sheepishly.

"I'm sorry," she says. I shake my head.

"It's okay," I say, approaching her dragonfly. "You'll learn, right? And we'll teach you. By the time the finals come, you'll be great." She smiles hopefully.

"You really think so?" she asks. I nod.

"I know so."

"Okay!" her expression grows determined again. "Let's try it again!"

"No!" both Syaoran and I cry at the same time. I start laughing. "Maybe it's enough for tonight," I add to her disappointed expression. Syaoran nods.

"You'll be better tomorrow, after a good night's sleep," he says. We exchange a look of silent relief. We _all_ need our sleep.

Sakura nods enthusiastically. "I will be better tomorrow, I promise!" she vows. I smile.

"You two can go, I'll catch up," I tell them. "I just want to check something." I slip a wink and a thumbs-up to Sakura, who returns them. The kids slowly begin to make their way back to the house, talking. They really are adorable together. I think that, even though Sakura doesn't remember Syaoran from her childhood, this new bond they share is slowly turning to love.

I press on the gas pedal and pull the wheel towards me, steering my dragonfly. It shoots up, through white fluffy clouds and the spotlights usually used to guide flying vehicles at night, bypassing them as though they didn't exist. I go as high as it allows me to, until the air gets scarce and there is nothing in the sky but me and the moon. I take a deep breath. My arms stretch up, over my head, and my fingers try to grasp the stars.

XxX

The sky is grey and ominous when I wake up the next morning. I guess it is going to rain after all. I stumble into the kitchen with sleepy eyes, still unsure of my footing. I nearly bump into Kurogane when I try to reach the cupboard where we keep the bread. I'm planning on keeping it simple this morning; toasts are just perfect for my level of mental alertness. But now the ninja stands between me and the cupboard, and I don't dare ask him to move. Instead, I lean against the counter and cross my arms, waiting for him to grasp the message. His eyes rest on me for a second, but he doesn't speak either. Slowly he retreats, bringing his cup of coffee with him. I set up my breakfast, painfully aware of his presence behind me. I want to wish him a good morning, but I don't feel up to it. The air in the kitchen soon becomes unbreathable. Finally, I decide I will say something if only to lighten the tension, but when I turn around Kurogane is nowhere to be seen. Maybe he found something better to do with his morning than sip coffee; but no, his cup is gone too. Or maybe he's just avoiding me.

I bring my plate to the table and take a bite. Crumbs fall from my lips onto the plate, and I brush them away with my sleeve. Syaoran enters the room.

"Good morning, Aisha-san!" he says with a bright smile. I groan.

"Aisha," I correct with my mouth full. I'm not quite awake yet. The boy smiles and sits in front of me.

"About that race yesterday…" he starts, a little mischievous, "we never really finished it…" I grin back.

"We never really started it, either," I reply. He shrugs.

"I just thought we might… you know…"

"Well, I'm up for it, whatever it is," I say. He laughs as I rub my eyes.

"Are you sure?" he asks. "You look tired."

"Meh. A few seconds under a freezing shower and I'll be fine," I assure him. "How about I meet you outside in ten minutes? We can install some more turbines if you want, and then I'll have to help Fai with his steering, but if it's not raining after that we can race or something." I'm up for anything right now, before it starts raining and we're all stuck inside. Then it'll be nearly impossible to avoid Kurogane. So if Syaoran wants to race around the city ten times and totally burn out our engines, I'm ready.

I just desperately need some coffee first.

XxX

Syaoran's plans are nowhere near as drastic. After saying goodbye to Sakura and Fai – and assuring the princess that we'll come back as soon as the rain comes – we fly into the grey clouds, with only Syaoran's taillights as my guide. I can't see a thing in this mess, but I have to trust that the boy knows where he's going. His new turbines seem fine, and I can tell he liked those new additions when I put them in. He still doesn't quite understand the engine enough to do it himself, but he's getting there.

Fai was nice this morning; he didn't keep me long when he found out Syaoran and I wanted to fly some before it rains. I helped him with his loops, and he's coming out very good. He'd be a talented driver without my help, but he was right when he said he would be out of luck if the next race isn't straight. His reflexes are fast, but they're completely out of whack; he'll mix the clutch with the lever, and pull the wheel when he wants to slow down, and end up shooting up. We had a few heartfelt laughs, and then he thanked me and I was on my way. I have to say I'm enjoying these lessons as well.

I follow Syaoran until we reach a grey building, somewhere in the heart of the city. Syaoran hovers above it for a few seconds, then turns to me.

"I heard this was the oldest building in the city," he says, his eyes gleaming bright. Trust Syaoran to add a bit of historical flavour to any outing. But as I observe the sky-scraper closely, I see that he's probably right; the grey stands in contrast to the bright colours of the buildings around it, and I realize that it is concrete as opposed to metal.

"They say it used to be an administration office," Syaoran continues, "but that it was later turned into a residential facility. No one's sure why they kept it up even as the other old buildings were being torn down." He shakes his head at the mention of destroying such important mementos of culture. I grin amusedly.

"And with this interesting cultural tid-bit," I say, "should we race now?"

"I don't know," he jokes. "Aren't we here for that?"

"Well I'm just following you," I reply, showing the extent of the city with my arm. "Show me the way." He smiles thoughtfully.

"Let's go home," he says. "But we're not allowed to go over the buildings." Which will force us to slalom our way to the house. I calculate quickly: it took us a good fifteen minutes to get here, at a leisurely pace, flying above the buildings. It will take us about as much time to get back the way Syaoran intends. It's long for a slalom race, but it will definitely be fun.

"Let's do this," I say, purposely letting my engine rumble loudly. The boy does the same, a mischievous smile on his lips. We position ourselves in the right direction.

"Three, two…" Syaoran starts counting down slowly.

"Syaoran?" I interrupt suddenly, and he looks at me in surprise. "You be careful, okay?" He just smiles and gives me a thumbs-up.

"One, Go!" he finishes, and we dash forward. We lurch through the city, avoiding buildings and other dragonflies. No one really has the lead; we slip from front to back erratically in what soon becomes a free-for-all muddle of beeping horns, engine roars and laughter. Pure adrenaline flows through my veins at the chaos. We tease each other until we nearly crash, then sprint forward in an effort to gain some lead, but neither of us really wants it. It's all in good fun.

It's about halfway through the race when I feel the first drop hit me in the face. The sky, which has held up against all expectations until late morning, starts pouring. We don't slow down one bit, however, and the race is only made more thrilling by the water that splashes in our eyes and mouths and clouds our vision. I can barely see where I'm going, but I don't care as long as Syaoran's next to me and we get lost together. We exchange glances and laugh, as he tries to push me into an upcoming skyscraper. I avoid it with a spin, and retaliate. The house is near now, I know it. Although I can't see it, I can almost make out it's shape coming up in the distance. I don't slow down. Syaoran yells something through the rain, but I don't understand it. Then suddenly the house is there, in full view, and I'm coming up too fast. My foot hits the break.

My dragonfly lands only seconds before Syaoran's, slipping out of control on the wet platform. It finally skids abruptly to a halt mere metres from the Kuro-Tan, propelling me in the air. I don't fall far, but roll through a puddle, howling in laughter. Syaoran lands near me, smiling. Spitting out the water in my mouth, I slide onto my hands and knees, but that's as far as I go. A scorching pain shoots from my right thigh and to my stomach, and I fall back with a sharp cry. Syaoran walks to me, still grinning, unaware of the throbbing in my leg.

"Seems like you won." He nearly has to yell to be heard over the pouring rain. "But don't worry, I'll be better next time!" I nod, my smile now replaced by a grimace of pain. It takes seconds for the boy to notice this, and I know it's because the rain is so thick. If it wasn't for that, he would have noticed as soon as he laid eyes on me. "Aisha-san? What's wrong? Where are you hurt?" He kneels next to me. It's hard to read his expression through the rain, but I think he looks scared. I try to smile reassuringly.

"It's… it's just my leg," I say, trying to sound nonchalant. "It's nothing." The truth is, I'm scared. I don't know what's wrong, but I hope it's not because my wound has opened. If that's the case, I'm back to square one.

"Can you walk?" he asks. I go to shake my head but then realize that there's no other way for me to get back inside the house. So I nod.

"I'll need a little help, though," I warn him. "Maybe if you put your arm here…" Getting up is difficult, but it's nothing compared to walking. If I put the slightest weight on my right leg, I scream. I can barely support myself. We only take a few steps, and already Syaoran can't hold me up anymore. I try hopping on my valid leg, but the ground is so slippery we both fall down, and I bang my left knee. Tears are pooling in my eyes from the pain, and I find that it's hard to breathe.

"I'm sorry," Syaoran says beside me. "I can't carry you, Aisha-san." I pull myself into a sitting position. There's a constant pulsing in my leg, like a heartbeat. Every pulse is more painful than the next. We can't even see the house from where we're sitting, only the small light at the door. The world is grey and wet.

"It's okay," I say, too softly, and then raise my voice so he can hear me. "It's okay. I never asked that from you." But my leg hurts and it's pouring and I can't breathe and I'm scared and sobbing, so I add, "Go get help. Please… go get some help."

"I… are you sure?" I can tell he doesn't want to leave me alone like this. But what choice do we have?

"I can't walk and you can't carry me inside," I reply. "Standing out here won't do us any good. Please…" I think it's my pleading, more than my arguments that finally make the boy leave.

"I'll come back quickly," he assures me, before disappearing behind the grey wall. I close my eyes and try to stop my sobbing. Then I pull my leg up, only the left one because the right one won't move, and wrap my arms around my knee. If I stop thinking about the pain, it almost grows numb enough for me to ignore it. But alone in this pouring rain, what else is there to think about? It seems like hours before Syaoran finally comes back, followed by a tall shadow. I lift my head. Syaoran kneels next to me, and the shadow crouches next to him. It's Kurogane.

"Idiot," he growls. I don't know why I'm relieved to see the ninja, to hear the first word we've exchanged in days. For some reason, I feel like Kurogane will know what to do.

"I don't know what happened…" I start, but he cuts me off.

"It's the same leg you hurt in Shura, right?" I close my mouth. My silence seems to act as confession to him, and he sighs. "Idiot," he growls again. Then he moves in closer, and I feel one of his hands go under my knees and close in on my left leg, and another rest on my shoulder. Before I can say anything I've been lifted off the ground, which rips another yelp of pain from my lips. Kurogane grunts, but his grasp on my legs gets softer.

"Ah… Thank you," I manage. The ninja carries me to the house, and every time my thigh brushes against his chest, it hurts. Syaoran scurries before us and opens the door. Only a few seconds later and we are in the house. Already a small puddle is forming on the floor at our feet.

"Aisha!" It's Sakura, eyes wide with panic. "What happened? Syaoran-kun said you fell, and now your leg is injured, and he said you couldn't walk back home. Are you alright?"

"I'll be fine," I try to reassure her. Hopefully my face is wet enough for my tears to be invisible. Fai pokes his head in the room. He seems serious.

"What happened?" he asks the ninja. Kurogane grunts, then walks off into the house. Once again, Syaoran follows.

"It's nothing!" I call back to the wizard as I am being carried upstairs. Kurogane pushes open the door to my room with his shoulder, then dumps me on my bed. I muffle a yelp as the air leaves my lungs. Without a word, the ninja rolls up my pant leg until he reaches the bandage. I gasp when I see it. It's red with blood and heavy with water and puss. I hear the ninja curse, and I know what it means. My wound has opened again, and it's worse than it used to be.

Syaoran's eyes are wide, and he looks to the bandage with worry. His lips move without a sound. "Wha… when… will she be all right?" he finally manages to ask Kurogane. I'm looking to him too, but he doesn't meet my eye. After a short pause, he turns to Syaoran.

"Go get some bandages," he orders. "If you can't find them, ask the mage. Hurry up." When the boy has left the room, not after sending me a worried glance, Kurogane finally turns to me. A harsh push sends me falling back on the pillows.

"Rest," he says gruffly. His tone allows no reply. I stare into his blood red eyes for the first time in days, and can find the energy to do no more than nod. Then Syaoran comes back, carrying a first aid kit and followed by a frantic Sakura.

"Oh Aisha, how bad is it? Tell me, please don't hide it," she says, wringing her hands. I shake my head.

"It's not so bad," I say. "Right, Kuro-sama?" The ninja grabs the small kit from Syaoran and turns to me.

"She'll be in bed for a few days," he answers Sakura's question, looking at my wound but not my face. Kurogane then turns to Syaoran, and the boy leads Sakura out of the room.

"I'll come back and bring you lunch," she says, her green eyes misty. Syaoran nods.

"I'm sorry," he says.

"Don't be-" I start, but he's already left the room. Before Kurogane can touch my bandage, I stop him. "I'll take care of it," I say, but he pushes my hands aside, and ignores me. As soon as his hands brush against my skin, I want to scream. Instead I only whimper, grimacing. He doesn't stop, or slow down. It takes him only a minute to change my bandage, and I'm glad Syaoran took Sakura away before he did. The skin around my wound is red and swollen, and the wound itself is oozing puss and blood freely. I can't stop myself from reacting to the pain, and fresh tears find the old ones. I couldn't have convinced her I was okay if she would have seen this.

Finally, Kurogane tightly secures the bandage and looks at me. His face doesn't show any emotion, except perhaps frustration. I find myself recoiling under his gaze, and he sighs as he gets up and leaves without a word. I watch him leave, and then fall back on my mattress with a defeated sigh. He'll tend to my wounds, but that's as far as he'll go. Now I'm alone, and my leg is still screaming in pain. I know I can't follow Kurogane; my leg is in no shape to walk. The rain taps against the windowpane like a myriad of fingers, trying to drive me crazy. I feel drained.

I hear some rummaging coming from the bathroom, then a loud curse and something falling on the ground, and then Kurogane is back in my room, holding something in his hand. At first my eyes are wide, and then I frown, trying to understand why he would come back. He hands me a glass of water and some white capsules.

"For the pain," he explains. I wait, to see if maybe there's some more, but I can't get my hopes too high. So I pop the capsules in my mouth and take a sip of water, then put the glass on my nightstand. This time, Kurogane doesn't leave. He leans against a wall and stands there, staring at the floor. After a second's thought, he picks up the first aid kit and the soiled bandages, and takes them out somewhere, but then comes back. We stare at each other for a few seconds, then I sigh and look away. By now the pulsing in my leg is not nearly so painful, reduced to an annoying itch. My eyes are starting to close on their own. I just want to sleep.

I resist the feeling of lethargy for a few moments, but when my head hits the pillow I know the fight is over. Before my eyes close completely and Kurogane leaves again, I reach out to him. If one of us is going to say it, I know it's going to have to be me first.

"Kuro-sama…" I start, my voice already a whisper. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said…"

I don't stay awake long enough to finish my sentence.

XxX

I wake up to the searing pain in my leg. The painkillers must have worn off. I feel a soft presence under my hand. It's Mokona, sleeping soundly against my chest. I smile softly. Slowly, I push myself up to a sitting position, cradling Mokona, and look around the room. Sakura's rummaging through her closet.

"Hey," I say. "How long have I slept?" She turns around and smiles at me.

"Oh, I'm so glad you feel better!" she exclaims, running to my bed. "You've been asleep since late this morning, I thought maybe you were going to wake up at night and no one would be around, I was worried!" I stare in her eyes, trying to assimilate her words.

"Wait…" I say. "What time is it?"

"Kurogane-san was awfully upset," she continues, ignoring me. "He didn't want to talk about it, but I suspect it was because this was an injury you got in Shura, right?" Now her eyes are accusing, and I don't know what to say. I bite my lip.

"Listen," I say, "I thought it was healing, I really did. It was just a bad fall, that's all, and the wound opened again. Kuro-sama said I'd be fine after some rest." I feel a little guilty using Kurogane's words in a context where he may not have meant them, but I have to reassure Sakura. She seems doubtful.

"You wouldn't hide your pain from me, right?" she asks. I find myself nodding.

"I'll try not too," I answer. But I don't want her to worry, so I add, "It wasn't hurting, I thought everything was healing fine." Sakura finally nods and smiles.

"You should be more careful when you ride those dragonflies," she admonishes lightly. "Syaoran-kun said you were being reckless."

"Not more than him," I reply, and then regret it. Sakura looks worried again, so I hurriedly change the subject. "What time is it?" I notice that she's dressed in her pyjamas. "That late?" I realize, frowning. She smiles softly.

"I did say you slept for a long time," she says. Suddenly, a blond head pokes itself through the door, causing both me and Sakura to jump.

"Well, look who's back from the land of dreams!" Fai announces joyfully, walking in. I smile. He stops next to my bed, his hands on his hips. "So it's nothing, huh?" he teases, using my own words against me. "I'll go get you some lunch; you must be hungry. Although-" he looks at the clock at my bedside – "it would most likely be supper now, wouldn't it?" I nod; I am hungry. The mage smiles, then skips out of the room. "I'll be back!" he sings. I turn to Sakura.

"You can go to sleep now," I say. "I won't disturb you." She shakes her head.

"No, it's okay," she says. "I'll wait until you finish eating." I start to protest, but already Fai's back in the room with a bowl of soup and a small loaf of bread.

"Here you go," he says, placing it on my knees, carefully staying clear of my lap. "Your clothes are still dripping from your stay in the rain, it's a miracle if you don't catch a cold to go with this. We were going to get you into some dry clothes, at least, but you were already asleep by the time Kuro-wanwan came back downstairs," he adds, pouting slightly. "Sakura-chan couldn't get you out of those clothes alone, and well… we didn't think it would be okay if we helped." He winks at me, and I send him a look that confirms his suspicions. I take a spoonful of the soup, grimace when I burn my tongue and shiver as the warm liquid flows down my throat. Then I realize something.

"I did fall asleep pretty fast," I say slowly. "And I was barely tired." A little drained, yes, but nothing to make me fall asleep in a matter of minutes. "Can I see those painkillers Kuro-rin gave me?" Fai frowns, but turns to Sakura.

"Do you know the ones? Could you go fetch it please, Sakura-chan?"

"Of course!" When her steps recede down the hallway, I sigh.

"Okay, seriously," I say. "How bad is it?" Fai sits on Sakura's bed and looks at me.

"Kuro-muy said that wound should have been sown shut since the beginning," he starts, talking quickly to be finished when Sakura comes back. "He also said you shouldn't have forced yourself to work so hard when we arrived in this country, because that only slowed the healing even more. And of course, he's upset." I nod. I was expecting all these things, but to hear them, my heart clenches. Now how long will it take to heal? And most importantly, will he ever forgive me?

"Are you upset too?" I ask Fai. "After all, I hid it from everyone…" There's no point in lying to him about this. By now he knows I've been hiding my injury all along. But he shakes his head.

"I'm not upset," he says, "but I was worried. We knew you and Syaoran-kun were outside in the storm, and when it took you time to come back we didn't know what had happened. Then Syaoran came back saying that you were hurt, and…" Sakura walks back into the room, and a smile explodes on his face. "So then Sakura-chan and I made cookies, and you just have to try them for dessert!" he finishes in an overly enthusiastic voice. I nod, pretending to be very interested in what he has to say. Sakura hands me a small bottle.

"Those are the only painkillers we have," she says. I open the cap and recognize the white capsules. Then I look at the dosage on the label, and I feel the blood drain from my face.

"He was trying to kill me," I say. "Oh my God, he was seriously trying to kill me."

"Why? How much did he give you?" Fai asks curiously, leaning forward. I shove the bottle in his face.

"Four times as much as he should have!" I exclaim. Fai laughs.

"Well, now we know why you fell asleep so fast," he says. I shake my head.

"That's not the point," I say, then realize that it is. "Whatever," I mumble at Fai's grinning face.

"I'm sure he didn't know," Sakura chips in. "He wouldn't have done it purposely." I take a deep breath to slow my breathing.

"You never know," I reply, half-serious. "After all, he is pissed off at me." At those words, Fai stands up and heads for the door.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that," he calls back. "Who do you think checked on your wound twice while you were sleeping, and went to buy some medicine after lunch? Just don't tell him I told you that." And Fai is gone. I finish my soup, and let Sakura help me into some dry pyjamas. I lay Mokona on my pillow, say goodnight to Sakura and wait until she shuts down the light. Then I stay awake long after the princess's breathing has slowed, thinking about Fai's words.

XxX

_I'm falling through the air. There's a flash of orange above me, and I scream words that I don't understand. Then I land, and there's a dark figure holding a sword towards me. Then it snows, and suddenly the sword is in my chest, and I'm screaming and crying but I can't breathe, and there's a sound like the string of a harp and Henrik stumbles by with an arrow in his neck, and I look up and I'm holding the bow. _

_Something bites my right leg and I scream again, thrashing, but I can't move, like I'm tied to the ground. And there's more snow now, and a wolf with murky brown eyes is biting down on my leg until he rips it off, and I can't escape, and I want to die, and then Kurogane picks me up and leaves me with my mother. She's drunk and she's screaming, and I cry, and when I scream I hear my mother's voice under my own, and now there's bodies laying down with me in the snow, but I'm too afraid to see who it is, because the snow is red. My leg hurts, except that it's not there anymore, but I don't care. I scream._

XxX

When I wake up again, the next morning, I'm shivering under my blanket and covered in sweat. I barely notice it when a tall shadow falls upon me and presses a hand on my forehead.

"Shit," Kurogane's voice says, which makes me lift my head a little. "I thought this would happen." There's a hand fumbling on my right thigh and I yelp, shooting up to a sitting position. "Shut up," the ninja grumbles, pushing me back on the mattress. I watch him untie my bandage and curse loudly. I groan when he touches my wound, because I can't even manage the energy for a scream. Then I let my head fall back and close my eyes.

"What's wrong?" This one's Syaoran's voice, and it sounds worried.

"It got infected," Kurogane grunts. "That's the smell. And see the swelling? We'll probably have to take her to a doctor today." There's another hand on my forehead, this one much lighter.

"She's burning up," Syaoran realizes, somewhat surprised.

"How do you feel?" Kurogane's voice rings near me. It's only when he repeats the question that I realize I'm being addressed.

"Like crap," I answer, which is true.

"Good," the ninja replies. "That means your body's fighting it."

"Why don't I feel like that's a good thing," I grunt, and open my eyes. Both Syaoran and Kurogane are bent over me. One looks worried, while the other simply seems focused.

"Because," Kurogane says, "this isn't a battle you should be fighting." I can see the anger on his face and sigh.

"When are we leaving?"

XxX

"So, what seems to be the problem?" the doctor asks as Kurogane follows me into his office. I'm still groggy from the fever, so Kurogane has to practically hold me up until he can leave me on the examination table.

"Her leg," he answers gruffly. It's taking me a lot of concentration to understand what they are saying and apply it to the situation. If it were up to me, I would sleep. But I stay relatively still while the doctor examines my wound, even though his prodding fingers don't seem to hold any respect for the sensitivity of the area. Finally the doctor looks back up, frowning.

"How on earth did you get that?" he asks me. For once, Kurogane doesn't know what to say to sound genuine, so I take over.

"I cut myself on… a rotator," I explain, in a moment of lucidity. "An engine," I add, just to make sure he understands. He nods.

"Right, of course. Aren't you two in the Dragonfly race? I do remember seeing you both on television," he comments. "You have to be more careful with those vehicles, you know. And next time something like this happens, you come to me right away, okay? Don't wait until it gets infected and you can barely walk." I nod, feeling Kurogane's heavy gaze on me.

XxX

"So, I thought since we were out we could get some more groceries," I say, looking at the buildings around us as the car zooms through the market. "We need some more milk, and eggs, and… Oh! Don't forget to get some fish, because the kids forgot to buy that when they went two days ago, and I was hopping to make some sushi tonight… but then Fai-san hates sushi, so if I do that I need to make him a sandwich or something. Do you remember if we have enough jam? Or… wait, would you like sushi? Because if you don't, I'll just make something else, that's fine-" Suddenly, Kurogane hits the dashboard violently.

"Do you ever stop that?" he yells, startling several drivers around us. I can only stare at the dent where his fist connected with the dashboard with wide eyes.

"What?" I ask, my voice suddenly smaller. The ninja scowls at the road ahead.

"You just talk about the kids, and that damn mage, and what you're going to cook for supper and you never even stop a goddamned moment to think about yourself," he growls. "You tried so hard not to get us worried, and now you're stuck in bed with a wound that would have taken weeks to heal in my country because you were too stubborn to get some basic care from the start. Even now, you're burning up with a fever and you can't even walk without someone practically carrying you, and all you can think about it everyone else. You do that with strangers too, you know. You barely know Tomoyo-chan and you're running around, trying to make her happy. You nearly killed a guy – you didn't even kill him, you just came close to it – and you're getting all worked up about hurting him. Do you seriously think he would have thought twice about killing you?" I want to say something, but he cuts me off. "No, just listen. You're an idiot, do you get that? Smarten up." I nod. What else can I do?

"You would have done the same thing," I say softly. "If you were in my shoes, I mean." He doesn't answer, but he doesn't deny it. I think I know why Kurogane and I have trouble getting along - it's because we understand each other too well.

XxX

"Right in time for lunch!" Fai greets us from the kitchen. I've refused to have Kurogane carry me again, so it's taken us an excruciatingly long time to get to the front door. But as soon as we're inside again, the ninja roughly grabs me and throws me over his shoulder. I struggle and protest, but he carries me until we reach my room, where he dumps me on my bed. There's been no words between us since our discussion in the car, but now I look into his eyes.

"I'm not staying in bed all day," I say. There's no answer, but he knows that I can't walk out on my own, and no one will dare cross him to help me. Behind him, Sakura and Syaoran poke their heads through the door.

"Welcome home," Syaoran says timidly. I wave to them.

"I'm home," I answer. Sakura steps into the room, a little hesitant. She holds a plate of food in her hands.

"So, um… what did the doctor say?" she asks. I smile.

"He gave me medicine for the infection, and he said my leg will heal completely. He also ordered me to rest for the next few days, just to make sure it heals," I answer. The thing I don't mention is Kurogane's determination to enforce this decree, by apparently any means necessary.

Sakura puts the plate on my lap, and I dive on the food as though I were starving. I am, I realize. My fever has gone down somewhat, thanks to the medicine the doctor gave me, and I haven't eaten much since yesterday morning.

"It's good that you're hungry, Aisha-san," Syaoran says with a smile. I look up to him.

"You know, I'm not terminally ill or anything. My leg doesn't affect my appetite," I tell him. Kurogane leans against a wall and looks down.

"How long did the doctor say it would take?" Sakura asks worriedly.

"Don't worry," I say with a smile. "He said that in five days, I should be as good as new." I finish my meal, and the kids leave, but before closing my door behind him, Kurogane turns to me.

"You have three days until the finals," he reminds me. "Make it happen."

XxX

I end up staying all day in bed after all, partly because between my leg and my fever, I can barely stand up straight. But I do promise Fai that his lessons with me aren't over, just postponed, and I need some help from Syaoran to convince Kurogane that sitting on a chair outside isn't more exerting than laying down on a bed. Finally, however, the ninja accepts at the condition that I don't try to fly while I'm there. I'll be left to yell my directions at Fai from the ground.

In exchange, the wizard has assured me that our first magic lesson will begin tomorrow. After once again convincing Kurogane to let me out of my room, I've been practicing my magic detections skills while lying down in bed. I can tell when Fai walks by my room, obviously, but I've also been able to detect a small presence from Sakura and a big ball of energy from Mokona. It's interesting to see how my sensibility is growing sharper every day, it seems. I hope my magic never completely disappears again, because I have to admit that I'm starting to like it, despite its unpredictable and sometimes violent nature.

I feel like Syaoran's training to be my nurse. Almost every time Kurogane passes by with a new dose of medicine or a change of bandages, the boy trails after him and asks questions and helps around as best as he can. I think he feels guilty for my injury, and that makes me sad. It's not his fault, it's mine.

I float in and out of my fever all day, sometimes perfectly lucid and others barely able to line up a coherent sentence. I think I get a little delirious at times, but I never remember enough to be sure.

My leg feels twice its size, but it is no longer beating like a heart and I can move it without the excruciating pain now. I could probably walk if it wasn't for this fever, but I feel weak at best. The doctor said the fever should be gone by tomorrow, and everything else will follow, and I really hope he's right. I have to race in those finals.

XxX

One thing about a fever is that you can get away with saying almost anything. Another is that you often don't realize what you're saying until it's too late.

When Fai walks in to bring me some supper, I lift my head. I'm somewhere in between with my fever – I'm not truly lucid, but I'm far from delirious.

"Can you stay a while?" I ask Fai. "I'm bored like you wouldn't believe." He chuckles and sits on Sakura's bed as he watches me eat. At first I don't really speak, which fleetingly makes me wonder why I asked him to stay in the first place. But his chatter is entertaining, and I like just listening to it. If you take away the layer of words, even just the voice is pleasant, invigorating and soothing at the same time.

I bathe in that voice for a moment, nodding and responding when I feel I should, without really listening to what is being said. I think he's talking about something Mokona did, but I'm not sure. He laughs, and I smile, because I'm sure he said something funny.

"Hey, Fai," I call out suddenly, forgetting honorifics. "Can I ask you something?" The mage seems surprised, but nods anyways.

"Sure," he says.

"When you were in Yama, weren't you scared?" My question seems to take him aback. He frowns, then smiles reassuringly.

"No, the battlefield wasn't that bad," he answers, misinterpreting my question. "I was usually behind Kuro-tan, and you know how he is – between us two, it was rare anyone got even remotely close to me." I shake my head.

"But," I say, "when you realized Mokona wasn't around, weren't you scared? That person you're running away from… weren't you afraid that he might catch up?" There's a flash of fear behind Fai's eyes, the same primal fear that seems to grip him every time the person sleeping underwater is mentioned, but it is quickly replaced by a smile.

"I don't know who you're talking about," he says joyfully, then puts a hand on my forehead. "You're sick, poor girl. You're probably confusing me with someone else." But when he leaves the room it is swift and cold, and I suddenly realize what I've said. I take my head in my hands, and beat myself up from the inside, because I've already promised myself to let Fai alone about his past.

Fortunately for me, a fever can justify almost any words that come out of my mouth.

XxX

I let my feet dangle on the side of my bed, and contemplate taking a few steps. I feel refreshingly awake and energetic this morning, and the swelling in my leg has decreased so much you would have never guessed it used to be the size of a small pumpkin. Around me, Mokona's jumping off the walls, suspiciously encouraging my small rebellion.

"It's time for breakfast, Aisha!" he shouts. "Quick, quick, go to the kitchen! It smells really good! Oh, I think Fai made eggs! Do you think he made eggs? I really hope so! Come on, hurry, hurry, Mokona's hungry! Out of bed, sleepy head!" I laugh.

"If Kuro-sama catches us, I'm blaming it on you," I warn him.

"Mokona the shadow ninja shall disappear into thin air, and escape divine retribution!" he vows dramatically. I shake my head and make my feet touch the floor. My legs are slightly wobbly, but overall I can walk quite well, although with a small limp. I try to favour my right leg as much as possible, remembering the doctor's orders. The more I rest, the faster the healing process will go, and I want to be good enough to race in two days. But really, the medicine here in Piffle is impressively fast. I should probably secure a bit before we move on to the next country, just in case.

"Get up and walk!" Mokona orders in a big voice, although I'm already taking my first steps towards the door. I make my way to the kitchen, leaning against walls for support, and stopping often. But I'm walking, and I'm walking alone, which is a huge improvement.

"Good morning!" I call as I walk in the kitchen. Syaoran and Sakura lift their heads. They seem pleasantly surprised.

"Good morning, Aisha!" the princess answers, a large smile on her face. Then I turn to walk towards the counter, but my eyes fall upon the burning pits of Kurogane's crimson glare. I freeze. Before I can react, I'm slung over his shoulder like a potato sac.

"No! I can walk, I swear!" I protest, hammering his back with my fists. "Come on! Put me down! I wouldn't walk if I couldn't, really! It was Mokona's fault! He made me do it!" Kurogane's fist shoots out and grabs the fur-ball in mid-flight, squeezing the poor thing until it turns pink.

"Help!" Mokona yelps. "The shadow ninja's powers are useless against the merciless force of the Kuro-tan monster!"

"Shut up," the ninja orders gruffly, entering my room. I am dumped onto my mattress while Mokona is thrown into the hallway.

"I can walk," I assure Kurogane, unable to keep my joy from overflowing into my voice. "I swear I can."

"You're still too weak to be walking alone like that," he replies harshly. I pout.

"I think I can decide better than you what I can and can't do," I say, crossing my arms over my chest. He imitates me.

"I still think you can't think straight," he says. "I don't know if you've noticed, but your leg is still swollen, and-" he puts a hand on my forehead, pushing my head back onto the pillow in the same movement, "you still have some fever left in you. I don't think the infection's gone." I sigh, almost resigned.

"Can you just check? I'm not sure what I'm looking for," I admit, already untying the bandage around my leg. He crouches next to the bed and examines the wound. To my inexperienced eyes, it looks much better than it was yesterday; not nearly as red, and no longer bleeding or oozing puss. The ninja nods with a grunt.

"At least it's closing," he comments, getting back up. "And the infection seems pretty much gone. But you still have a fever."

"You're going to have to let me walk one day or another, you know," I argue. "I have to keep my muscles from getting stiff." He shakes his head.

"You have to let it heal first, or it'll just open again," he replies. "You're lucky it happened in this country, because the medicine in Yama was crude compared to this. You would have been set for weeks in bed." I sigh.

"Yes, I get it, I'm a horrible person," I say, resigned. Kurogane looks at me oddly.

"I never said that," he says, sitting on Sakura's bed. "But you are horrible at taking care of yourself." I think I see the flicker of a smile on his face. I look down, confused.

"Are you… really pissed off at me?" I ask hesitantly, fearing the answer. He shifts on the bed.

"Yes," he answers. I nod, still looking down.

"Okay," I say, my voice strangely distant. I take a deep breath. "You did hear me, didn't you… when I said I was sorry?" There's a moment of silence.

"Yes."

"Were you upset when I accused you of killing people?" I want to know, even if it just digs the ditch deeper.

"No."

"What?" I turn to him in surprise. "Then why…?"

"Because you were projecting your own regrets on me instead of dealing with them yourself," he says. "I don't like it when people hide like that." I bite my lip.

"Oh," I say. I know he's right; that was what I was doing. "Then that's why you're angry? Because I was hiding?"

"No." Now he's the one who seems a little confused. "I wasn't angry back then," he says frankly, and I can't help but believe he's telling the truth.

"But… you weren't talking to me," I point out. "You would barely look at me. And you're trying to make me believe you weren't upset?" He shrugs.

"Maybe a little. But you didn't really want to talk to me either, did you," he says, not as a question but a statement. I frown.

"So… you were ignoring me because… that's what you thought I wanted?" I ask, trying to understand. He doesn't answer, but he shrugs again. So in the end, he wasn't really angry. Irritated, maybe, but not angry. He wouldn't have ignored me if I weren't so upset. "But then… why are you angry now?" I don't understand. Then he looks down at my leg and scowls.

"You're seriously asking me that question?" He stares intently at me, as though the sole weight of his eyes could intimidate me into healing faster. "There's more than one way to hide, you know." My face flushes and I follow his gaze.

"You know, I still wouldn't have done it any other way," I say. "Even if I could do it again, nothing would have changed." He sighs.

"Can't any common sense ever penetrate your thick skull?" Kurogane grumbles, discouraged. I smile.

"Hey, I take offence to that!" I protest. But then my arms wrap themselves around my knees and I rest my head on my elbow. "You had some influence, at least," I say slowly. "Even if you don't believe it's wrong, what you did, having it pointed out by someone you care about as a bad thing, having them accuse you of it, it hurts." Then I curse aloud and burry my face in further, because I just realize what I've admitted. I've just said that I care about Kurogane. Which is true, but I've never been one to say such things out loud. I hate fevers. The ninja must be right about mine still being in there.

I feel a hand on my head, slowly ruffling my hair. Then Kurogane's voice, so low I know I'm not supposed to hear.

"It does hurt."


	32. Heartsick

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own TRC. Thank you.**

**Double update again, and the other chapter should be out soon. I'm sorry if all that magic talk is confusing, it took me a while to figure it out myself so that it made sense… **

**XxX**

"No, you're supposed to pull the lever to the left, then… hit the brakes!"

"What?"

"You're crashing! Hit the goddamned brakes!"

"Waah!"

"Turn!"

"Where?"

"Anywhere!"

"..."

"...!"

"Phew! Well, that was a close one, don't you think Raki-chan?"

"Don't look so smug! You nearly gave Sakura a heart attack!"

"Oops! Sorry Sakura-chan!"

"Don't say sorry, just don't do it again! Now, let's try this, but slowly."

"I thought I wasn't supposed to do it again?"

"You're not supposed to nearly crash again, no. But try to do a decent loop, please?"

"Was that a please? A question, a suggestion, not an order? Well, I think you should be sick more often, if it makes you that much nicer."

"Shut up and do the loop."

"Okie-dokie!"

"…"

"Eep!"

"Goddamnit, brake!"

XxX

I'm sitting on the counter of the kitchen, swinging my legs back and forth under Kurogane's disapproving gaze. Just to tease him, I purposely hit my left heel against the cabinets, and he glares down at me. I smile devilishly.

"Other leg," I tell him, but I know that he knows, otherwise I would have already been dragged back to my room. He seems to think that my bed is the safest place in the house for me, mostly because there's nothing to drum my heels against and hurt myself. But it's easier for Fai if this is done in the kitchen, so the ninja's agreed to have me outside of my bedroom. Of course, if the slightest risk arises, it's back to square one; which means I should be very careful about not actually hitting my right leg against anything.

"Okay, let's do this!" Fai announces, jumping on the counter with me. "Magic 101. First lesson: Kuro-muy is not a target. Don't point anything towards him." I laugh, and pretend to extend my fingers towards the ninja and conjure up a spell.

"Abracadabra, bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!" I say, chuckling. Fai laughs, but Kurogane doesn't seem amused in the slightest. He just keeps staring at us like we're idiots, sitting in his chair and sipping his coffee. I don't know why he has to be here. I have to admit that I would have rather be alone with Fai for this. Maybe just because we are about to talk about some personal things.

"No, but seriously," Fai finally says, still smiling, "I wouldn't try to point anything towards anyone until you're absolutely sure you can manage it." I nod.

"Got it. Lesson number one," I say, lifting a finger. Fai grins.

"Off to lesson number two then," he says. I jump as his hand covers mine, but he starts talking again. "Touch is often used in magic, as with anything else, but what's particular about it is that it's not always necessary. It's obviously easier to establish a contact with physical touch, but it can be just as effective to establish the same contact simply by thought." His smile is unreadable. "Magic is energy. Magic forces are always moving around us, wherever we may be. It can bend to its own will, but also to yours, and is a natural force in its own right, capable of great destruction and great action. Magic cannot be taught; it must live within you, be tied to your soul for you to use it. The only things that can be taught are the rules that bind it and control it. Those rules are as simple as they are complex, because that is what magic is. When performing any magical act, the first step is to establish a connection with the concerned objects or people, and then use your own powers to bend it to your will. Do you understand?" I narrow my eyes, as though this simple action will help me understand all this gibberish.

"A little," I start hesitantly. Fai laughs.

"I'm sorry, this is all very theoretical. Basically, to accomplish anything using magic, you have to establish a connection first. It can be either physical or invisible, and you might not even realize you've made it, but it will be there. In the case of a physical connection, your body acts as a kind of bridge to link your magic and the object or person you wish to bend. Do you understand a bit better now?" he asks. I nod.

"I think so," I say. "Can I ask a few questions?"

"Of course."

"Do some people need to use spells to control magic? And if they do, what's the difference with those who don't need to? Is it because it's instinctive in one and not in the other?" I've been thinking about these things a lot since Fai promised me magic lessons.

The mage shakes his head. "Even if some people use verbal or written commands to cast spells, it is more of a catalyst than a necessity. Actually, various systems can be used, like dance or music as well. But it has nothing to do with instinct or talent. To speak or write simply puts ideas into words; it helps the magician clarify his desires and apply them to reality."

"Do you use spells?" I ask curiously. Fai's eyes grow nostalgic.

"I did," he says. "But you know I don't use magic anymore." I look down, a little uneasy. I've just brought up his past, which I promised I wouldn't do. I already know he doesn't use magic because he promised someone he wouldn't without his magical tattoo. I still don't know who this is, but I shouldn't bother him about it. Now I feel bad. Maybe I should resort to Fai's own technique: turning it into a joke.

"Does that mean I'm better than you then, since I don't need spells?" I look up, teasing. He laughs, shaking his head. It works; the small bubble of awkwardness around us shatters.

"I told you, it doesn't mean anything," he says. "And I have no idea if you're more powerful than me or not, as your magic is so inaccessible." He's teasing too, but his eyes have changed. They're afraid now, and I don't want to ask why.

"Okay," I finally say. "Lesson number three?" My words seem to snap Fai out of his thoughts.

"Ah! Yes. Well, you seem to have some questions, so why don't we answer them first?" he asks. I nod.

"Okay." My eyes fall on Kurogane, still watching us, and I remember something. "I heard something about… um… what was it… static and dynamic magic? What is that?" Fai follows my gaze to the ninja and smiles slyly.

"So you've gotten some information out of Kuro-pii, have you?" His hand goes to his forehead and he pretends to faint. "And I who thought I could trust you, Kuro-wanwan! What else have you told her? All my deepest, darkest secrets?"

"Shut up," Kurogane growls, visibly annoyed, but I can't help but smile.

"So? Care to explain that to me?" I ask light-heartedly. Fai turns to me.

"Well, it's pretty simple. Static magic is what you're doing right now." I frown, and he smiles. "Yes, yes, I swear. Remember when I said all magic requires a connection? Well, static magic is when a connection is established, but no more power is used. When something happens, then it becomes dynamic." I shake my head.

"...okay..." I say slowly, frowning. He laughs and pats my head. I pull away, which only makes him laugh harder.

"You're adorable," he says. "Once again, I'll simplify it. Okay, so you know when you say you can sense magic, either from people or objects?" I nod. "That's static magic, because nothing is done; but it is magic recognizing magic, therefore-"

"It's magic?" I finish, and he gives me a thumbs-up.

"You're getting pretty good at this," he congratulates me. "And dynamic magic is all the rest: spells, enchantments, that sort of things." I nod slowly.

"Okay, I think I understand," I say. "And you say dynamic magic is harder to control?"

"Yes, because there are forces actually moving either with or against each other in that sort of situation. But with static magic, it's only a connection so it's easier to establish and break off," he explains. "That's like the difference between talismans and amulets: you see, one is a magical object designed to help the user by causing a phenomenon, while the other is like a protective shield-"

"Wow, wait up," I interrupt, lifting a finger. "Can we just stick with the basics for today, and then start talking about amulets and all that when I understand the magic that's in my own body?" Fai smiles sheepishly.

"Sorry, I get carried away sometimes. Now, where were we…" he says, then stops to think for a moment.

"Lesson number three?" I ask, and he snaps his fingers as though he had just found the answer to a question of capital importance.

"Of course! Lesson number three. What triggers your magic," he says. "Now, I'm not pretending to be an expert, but I think it might be emotions that causes your powers to appear." I think about it for a second. It makes sense, and I had somewhat come to that conclusion by myself.

"Okay, so what does that tell us? I mean, concretely?" I ask, curious. After all, learning to control my powers is why I'm here.

"Well," Fai answers, "if we can single out which emotions trigger which kind of magic, and you could learn to control those emotions, it would give you a better grip on things."

I nod. "Well, whenever I make shields, like the ones in Koryo, it's because I'm… um… scared," I say, nearly whispering the last word. Fai smiles teasingly.

"But you don't get scared, do you?" he taunts. I glare up from under my eyebrows.

"You know what I mean," I growl. He laughs, ruffling my hair. Once again, I pull back.

"Anything else?" he asks, smiling kindly. "What about when you rebuilt that wall in Outo?" I think about that for a second.

"I was frustrated," I finally answer. "And a little angry, because I was tired, and a monster had just barged into the house, and I didn't want to have to fix it because it was new and we had just paid for it, and…" I stop, because Fai is laughing and holding his hands up.

"Please," he says, "I remember what happened. You don't have to tell me again." He passes a hand through his hair, visibly thinking now. "And what about when you heal people? What do you feel then?"

"I feel… sad," I answer slowly, thinking of Henrik. "I just want to help him, with all my heart, and I also feel guilty because it's partly my fault, and I feel like I'll explode if I can't do anything to help him and… I don't know," I sigh. I don't know how to describe it. Fai frowns.

"Are you talking about someone in particular?" he asks. I start, then realize that I distinctly said 'he.'

"Ah, um… Henrik," I admit. "He's the one I healed in Shura. He made me heal myself, too, because there was still some magic left in my hands…" Then I stop, because Fai's face is a mixture of conflicting emotions. His mouth is smiling like usual, but the set of his jaw is tight, and his eyes seem distant and hard.

"That sounds a lot like love, what you're describing," he says. "Did you care about him very much?" I frown, because the words sounded suspiciously like an accusation.

"Yes, I still do," I reply hotly. " But I don't love him. And even if I did, I don't see where the problem is. I'm allowed to love who I want, aren't I?" My acerbic tone seems to penetrate Fai's skull and wake him up. He blinks, then scratches his head.

"Sorry," he says, smiling apologetically. "You're right, it was not my place to pry." I observe him carefully. I don't understand his reaction. So what if I made a friend in Shura? What is it to him? Besides, I left Henrik to travel with him and the others, didn't I?

"Should we continue?" I offer, because the atmosphere is still tense between us. I'm suddenly very aware of Kurogane's eyes watching our every move.

Fai nods, then smiles again. "Yes, let's go on," he says. His smile is so fake, I hate it. But I don't say anything. "What about when you fought Seishiro, in Outo? I remember the fire, it was very pretty," Fai asks with a teasing smile, but when I think of that episode all I can remember is waking up in a capsule and seeing him standing there, watching me with that fake smile that I despise so much. I remember all the confused emotions in my chest. Then I remember the warmth of his hand on mine when he told me to call him Fai. And only then, finally, I can concentrate enough to make the warmth of the hand become the warmth of fire.

"I was angry," I tell him, which is an understatement. I was furious. "And… in shock. I couldn't believe you were really dead." Numb, and yet in so much pain I could barely stand it. But I can't tell him that.

Fai seems lost in his thoughts. "Well," he finally says, "I think anger was probably the main thing there. Maybe shock, but..." He nods, but doesn't quite seem to believe it. Or, no, it's like he won't let himself believe it. I don't understand. I don't understand why he can't admit that someone might care for him.

"Anyways," I add, "I think controlling my emotions is a lost cause. Can you just teach me some more about magic?"

"Oh yes, you are quite the spitfire!" he agrees with a smile.

"Don't make me hit you," I threaten. He laughs.

"Maybe controlling your emotions is a bit of a long shot for you," he admits, "but at least if we know what kind of reaction to expect from different emotions, then you could recognize… problematic… situations and try to avoid them, or at least soften the blow." I nod.

"It doesn't always work that way, though," I warn. "I mean, I don't burn up every time I get angry, and I don't create a shield every single time I'm… you know…"

"Scared?" he offers teasingly, and I glare.

"Yeah. That," I agree stiffly, which makes him laugh.

"You know, there's nothing wrong with being scared," he says. "And the reason it's so inconsistent is most likely because it simply isn't always there." I frown.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, the whole point of a seal is to keep something inaccessible." Now he's the one who seems surprised, as though I should have known this already. "Even though yours isn't powerful enough to seal your magic from you entirely, it does manage to do so part of the time. And even if you can sense forces, you may not always have access to enough power to use dynamic magic." He sighs, and starts counting on his fingers. "Anger, fear, sadness, frustration…those seem to be the most repeated ones, don't you agree?" I nod distractedly, still processing what he's just told me. "Judged on this, my guess would be that it's your desires that trump the seal's protection."

"Please, explain."

"The very basic ones are instinctive: hunger, pain, fear for one's life. See, your magic is intertwined intimately with your soul; when you need protection, when you feel a strong emotion, it overwhelms you, and it overwhelms the seal as well. Because you ask for it so strongly, magic seeps through the seal's defence to act. Then, with the more complicated desires, like the desire to heal or to hurt, ultimately the same thing happens; but then it's a much more conscious desire, and a much more destructive one as well. At least," he adds after a moment's thought, reverting back to his naïve smile, "I'm pretty sure that's what happens." I observe him sceptically.

"You sound like you know what you're talking about, for someone who is only pretty sure about it," I comment. He seems pleased.

"Really? You think I sound like I know what I'm saying?" he asks joyfully. Once again I stare at him in disbelief, wondering if he's serious. I bow my head in frustration.

"You're hopeless," I decide. "Utterly, truly hopeless. You can't even be serious for two seconds!"

"Correction: I've been serious for at least thirty," he objects with a smile. I lift a hand to smack him, but the oven's alarm beeps loudly at that moment, making us all jump. "Ah! It's ready!" Fai scurries off to open it. The warm scent of chocolate tickles my nostrils. I lick my lips.

"Are those… chocolate fondants?" I ask, an irresistible craving slowly mounting in me. Fai laughs.

"I thought it had been a while since we had any," he says, placing the steaming plate on a countertop, far away from me. "Now then, you have to wait until they cool off a little before eating them."

"Why?" I whine. "You know I love those, why would you make them in front of me?"

"You know, you'll just have to wait until they cool off," he tells me, sending me a sideways glance.

"But that's too long!" I complain. "You're so mean!" Fai grins.

"I said that you have to wait until they cool off," he repeats. "But I never told you how long that should be."

"Huh?" I look from Fai to the fondants, then to Kurogane to see if he understands. The ninja shakes his head.

"He wants you to cool them off yourself, kid," he grunts, sipping his coffee. I cock my head to the side and look at Fai.

"What part of 'uncontrollable' do you not understand?" I ask. "You can't ask me to do something like this… I don't even know what'll happen, if anything does!"

"Why do you think you're here? Isn't it exactly for this?" the mage replies with a smile. "You have nothing to lose if you give it a try."

"Yes I do! Perfectly good fondants, that's what I have to lose!" I object, but I know it's just for the sake of argument. Fai knows it too, because he starts giving me instructions.

"Just focus on the fondants. You can stare at them if it helps. Then think of what you want, nothing else, and try to make it happen."

"You planned this since the beginning, didn't you," I sigh, defeated. Fai grins devilishly.

"Of course I did. I thought you might need a bit of incentive."

I stare at the plate intently, trying to erase everything else from my mind. It doesn't work. After all, I can always wait a few minutes until they cool off a little, and then I can eat those fondants. The desire Fai talked about just isn't there. And I don't truly believe I can pull off something so deliberate, and I think it shows.

"Focus," Kurogane orders, as Fai simply chuckles. Yep, they can tell. "Aren't you supposed to be the teacher?" the ninja growls at the mage. Fai shrugs.

"You're pretty good, I wouldn't want to disturb you," he says joyfully. Kurogane grunts and glares at the wizard. I sigh.

"Okay, I'll try this again," I say. This time I will succeed, I decide. I focus on the plate, and imagine the steam disappearing, the heat receding to the oven. I will the magic to well up in my chest like it does when I use it. I can feel the seal, keeping my magic away like a ripple on the water, untouchable. My will cuts through it like a steel knife.

It's as though a string breaks around my head and suddenly the world seems much bigger. Nothing is new, but everything is so much deeper, as though the outer layer had been stripped away to reveal their innermost core. My heart beats to the rhythm of the swell of senses I never knew I had. It's as though everything Fai told me suddenly makes sense; I can not only see the surface of things, but the rest of the world as well, the air swirling around us, the water in the pipelines above our heads. I extend a hand and touch a thousand dimensions, a thousand other worlds. I had it all wrong, Kurogane had it all wrong; I was trying to make the world smaller, when really it must be bigger. Much bigger. I see two pulsing beings, radiating energy in front of me. I know they are Fai and Kurogane, but can't quite seem to bring the names to fit with what I am sensing. If I would scratch the surface a little more, I know that I could see their thoughts, their memories, everything that they are, laid out in front of me. I stop at the pulsing beat that should be named Fai, and cock my head. The magic coming from him is so much stronger than anything else in our surroundings, so strong that it pulls me towards him like a fly to a light. And yet something rings in my head, something I know to be true, although I can't say why: Fai is dangerous. The hair bristles in the back of my neck. If I stay near him, I will get hurt. This suddenly becomes very clear. I have to get rid of him, for my own safety, for Syaoran, Sakura and Kurogane.

No. I force myself to close the world around me. I close my eyes and block my ears and try to erase everything from my consciousness. I can't let myself think this way. I promised myself that I wouldn't hurt any of them, and that is why I'm here; so I can't hurt Fai, not because of a strange whim. But my instincts fight back. I need to dispose of any threat. No. I need to wake up.

You hear me? Wake up!

The oven vanishes. Just like that. I blink slowly in surprise, relieved to see that I am back to reality. Where the oven stood only seconds earlier is a small pile of ashes. Fai is laughing, but Kurogane is standing now, looking intently at me and then interrogating the wizard with his eyes. I don't answer his gaze. I find it hard to look at either of them, now that I nearly saw into their souls. I feel like I've accidentally overheard a conversation that should have remained private, even though I learned nothing. I'm staring at the remains of the oven, which had the bad luck of standing in my field of vision.

"Well, not exactly what we were looking for, but still pretty good," Fai cackles. "At least you decided when. Now all you have to do is decide what!" I stay silent. Then my brain slowly registers the obvious and I turn to Kurogane.

"We're... um... going to need another oven," I say softly, still in shock. Fai can barely contain his hilarity. The ninja is not so amused, and stares at the hole left by the oven's disappearance.

"What the hell just happened?" he nearly screams. I take a deep breath before answering. Isn't it obvious?

"It burned," I say matter-of-factly. "Spontaneous combustion." Once again, I nearly reduced a person to shreds. The last time I had avoided Kurogane and turned my anger to a brick wall. This time, I massacred a kitchen appliance in exchange for Fai. I take my head in my hands, shaking.

"I can't do this," I mutter. I'll end up killing someone. I said I would stop as soon as things went awry. This is it.

Fai pretends he doesn't hear me. "Now, see? You're making amazing progress. Don't get discouraged because of one little thing." His tone is gentle, but I can't help but remember the strange warning I heard. I look up to him and his blue eyes, and all doubt melts away from my mind. Yes, I know almost nothing about him or his past; but I know enough to tell you that he wouldn't hurt me. He wouldn't hurt Kurogane, or Syaoran, and he would never lay a hand on Sakura.

"Okay, lesson's over," Kurogane suddenly decides, walking up to the counter and brusquely pulling me over his shoulder.

"Waa, but Daddy!" Fai whines. "We were making such progress!"

"You made enough for one day," the ninja grunts. "Now she's tired, and she has a fever." I don't protest as he pulls me away, except maybe to remind him that I can walk by myself. But I'm relieved to be leaving. I have to be alone now, to think about all this. I thought I understood magic, but it turns out I know nothing about it.

"Raki-chan!" Fai calls as we leave. "Tomorrow, same time?" I know this is a test. I sigh.

"Yeah, let's do this again tomorrow," I say.

XxX

I'm sitting in the living room, deep in thought, when Syaoran walks in. I'm not sure where the others are, but Kurogane can't be too far. He's never been far since this morning, and my lesson with Fai.

"Hey," I greet him. "What have you been up to?"

"Not much," he answers, sitting down next to me. "How about you, Aisha-san?"

"I've just had the weirdest experience in my life, other than that, I'm fine," I reply matter-of-factly. So maybe I want him to ask questions. Maybe I want to tell someone about this, if only to put it in words and understand it better myself. And for some reason, I want that someone to be Syaoran, because I know he won't judge, or try to explain it to me, or tell me not to worry about it. Syaoran just listens.

"What happened, Aisha-san?" he asks a little worriedly. I tell him about Fai's lesson, my own attempts to control my magic, only to have it swerve out of control. I don't mention my mind's warning about Fai; I've already decided it was my imagination. At my mention of the oven's sudden disappearance, Syaoran chuckles, but he doesn't say a word until I'm done, and then he stares at the ground as though he's thinking about something.

"And… what do you think it was?" he asks. I sigh.

"You tell me. But I have a theory," I add, knowing that Syaoran likes those. "I think… maybe I just overdid it. You know, I tried to unlock my magic so hard that it all flew open, and I sent my consciousness so far out, thinking that it wouldn't work and it did. So I just felt… too much, I guess. Do I make any sense to you?" Syaoran nods slowly, visibly still processing everything I told him about magic.

"That makes sense," he finally says. "But, that barrette you mentioned... this one?" he points to my hair ornament. I just realize that it's the first time I've ever spoken to Syaoran about my barrette. I look at him, embarrassed.

"Ah, umm… I'm sorry I never mentioned it before," I say softly. "It's not that I didn't trust you or anything, it's just…"

"It's alright," the boy reassures me. "It was personal. I understand." I nod, pressing my lips together awkwardly.

"But I have to find a way to control this magic, Syaoran-kun," I say determinedly. "I have to. There's too much risk involved for everyone around me. I don't want to hurt anyone." Asking Fai to remove my barrette is not an option, but there's has to be another way. There has to be something I can do. Now I realize that I don't really want to give up magic, but I don't want to go on like this either. I bury my chin between my knees and sigh. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to talk about it. This has nothing to do with you."

"No!" Syaoran protests energetically. "I mean…" he continues, his face slowly turning red, "I-I'm very happy you trust me enough to tell me about it, Aisha-san, and… and even though it has nothing to do with me, we can talk to each other, right? I mean… we're friends." His eyes are hitting mine with such candour that I can't help but chuckle.

"Yeah, we're friends," I agree. Then there's a short pause between us. I look up to the ceiling. "So, how are things with Sakura?" I ask suddenly. Syaoran jumps.

"What? Uh… I don't know… I mean… she's really improved," he stutters, turning red again. I chuckle.

"You know what I mean," I correct him. "And it's not about her driving skills." Syaoran looks down and nods.

"I know," he admits, "but…"

"You know, you'll have to get things started if you want them to go anywhere," I comment teasingly, winking.

"I… I don't think Sakura-him could ever care about me like that," he says softly, staring down at his hands. I pat him on the shoulder.

"I know how that feels," I admit with a sigh, "but, honestly? I think she does. Or at least, she's getting there." Syaoran shakes his head.

"Even so, I couldn't… she's the princess of my country, and we've been friends for years, but…"

"Awww, but you're so cute together!" I croon. I can almost see the poor boy faint in embarrassment and laugh wholeheartedly. "And you're adorable just on your own," I add, patting his head. "But if you don't act fast enough, one day it'll be too late," I add gloomily. Syaoran looks up at me, suddenly curious.

"Did that happen to you, Aisha-san?" he asks. I shrug.

"Maybe," I say, looking away. The boy takes a deep breath.

"Do you remember, in Koryo country when we first met, I asked you if you had someone in your country whom you cared about the way I care about Sakura-hime..." he trails off. I nod. I remember everything from that day. "What happened to him, Aisha-san?" I bite my thumb. Syaoran looks worried. "I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked, it's not my place..." he stutters, but I stop him.

"No, it's okay," I say. "His name is Kento. He was a childhood friend too," I add with a sad smile, "and we were always together. The only difference was that I loved him and he only saw me as a little sister. He told me that, the night I was going to admit my real feelings to him. I was all wound up and ready, and then he said: 'You know, Sha, I'm glad you're not like the other girls. Nothing will ever get complicated between us, because we're just like brother and sister, right? None of those stupid girly feelings. That's what I love about you.'" I stop and take a shaky breath. "So obviously I couldn't tell him. Not after he said that." There's an awkward silence. Syaoran looks at me.

"I'm sorry, Aisha-san," he whispers. "If I would have known, I wouldn't have asked." I shake my head.

"It's not your fault, is it?" I say. "But that's why you can't give up on Sakura, because if you do you're sure to lose her. Now, I don't feel so bad that he didn't love me. I just regret that I never told him when I had the chance. Now it's too late."

"But no, it's not too late, is it?" Syaoran shakes his head. "When you get back to your country, you can become his friend again, can't you, and then he could fall in love with you..." I look up to him, and my eyes become teary.

"Don't start giving me false hopes," I tell him. "You know what my price is, don't you? My home. He'll never be friends with me again. None of them will be friends with me again." There's an ominous weight pressing on my chest, like the kind I get when I'm underground, in a basement. Syaoran looks down, embarrassed.

"I'm sorry," he repeats. "I-I forgot it was that bad." I shake my head.

"Once again, it's not your fault," I say. "That bitch chose the price." The boy says nothing of my exchange of letters. "Now do you understand a little better why I don't want to give her anything for that stupid White day of hers?"

"I don't really want to give her anything either," Syaoran admits. "But it seems like the right thing to do. After all, it is a custom of her country, and she gave us those chocolate fondants..."

"Speaking of which, Fai made some," I say, perking up. I don't mention they were made as an incentive to get me to use magic. "They're in the kitchen, if you want some. Just don't tell Mokona, or he'll eat them all."

"Mokona heard that there was fondants in the kitchen! Mokona's going to go and see now! Oh, did I mention Mokona was hungry?" We hear the fur-ball's shrill voice erupt from the hallway.

"Not my fault!" I yell, anticipating the mage's reaction. "I didn't tell him! He was hiding!" Syaoran laughs. Then he stops, and awkwardly puts an arm around my shoulders.

"Aisha-san..." he starts, "we're your friends, right?"

I sigh. "Yeah, you are."

XxX

"_You love Kento, don't you?" Kaede asks, looking up suddenly. I blink once, slowly. Then her words register._

"_Wha...? No! No, it's not... I mean... where did you..."I stammer nervously, and I can feel my face flush. She smiles. _

"_I knew it," she simply says._

XxX

"You realize there's only one day left until the finals, right?" Kurogane tells me as he barges in my room without knocking. I turn to him calmly.

"Yes, I realize that," I say. "Can you at least knock next time? I could have been changing in here." The ninja's ears turn pink.

"I just wanted to make sure you knew," he adds hurriedly, "because I'm warning you, any sign that your leg isn't healed and you're not competing."

"Noted," I say, then turn back to what I was doing. My left leg flexes and I lean forward with a jab, then pull back up into a graceful block. I feel Kurogane's eyes on me.

"What are you doing?" he finally asks.

"Henrik taught me this," I tell him. "He said the soldiers used these exercises to work their muscles after an injury, in Shura."

"You're not healed yet," he warns me. I shrug.

"I'm going easy on myself," I counter. "I'm only doing the simple moves, and I'm doing them slowly." A spinning kick brings me to face the ninja again. He observes my stance critically as I dive into a block.

"Don't bring your weight forward so much," he cautions. "You'll end up falling on the other guy." I obey, and he nods. "Better." Then he leaves the room. I smile slyly. I knew he would eventually let me do as I please.

XxX

I sit back on my bed, not exhausted, but tired. My leg is still sore, but it no longer hurts unless I put weight on it. I can walk a lot better than this morning, and I'm pretty sure Henrik's exercises are part of the reason why. Still, I'm not sure I'll be ready to compete in the finals. I feign confidence, but I know it's a distinct possibility that I can't, or that Kurogane won't allow me to. Whatever happens though, I'm not going down without a fight. I'm not ready to lie about my injury again, but I won't let Kurogane boss me around. Who knows? By then, I might be well enough to outrun him.

I pull out my knife and whip from under my mattress. I was practising without a knife, partly because it is a dangerous weapon and shouldn't be used lightly in a house full of people, and partly because I'm not confident enough to know I won't drop it on my own foot – which would be stupid beyond belief. I pass my fingers on the black scabbard, feeling the soft curve of the blade. Then I pull it out slowly, observing the beautiful design of flames running up the blade and onto the hilt. There's a bird in the flames, its wings burning as it soars. The cutting edge is still sharp. Not only is this a wonderful weapon, it is a work of art.

My fingers play with the whip's supple leather like they always do, marvelling at the connection I share with this weapon. It was chosen by my kudan, therefore it is the weapon that suits me best. No blade could ever replace it. Which is why I've had this nagging feeling ever since the witch showed up here three days ago. If we are sent away to a new world unexpectedly, like that time in Shara, I don't want to leave my weapons behind like I've left my clothes and wallet.

"Moko-chan, can you come here a minute?"

XxX

"Fai-san, can we just concentrate on theory this time around?" I ask nervously. The mage is thoughtful for a second, but nods anyways.

"That's fine," he says, and I know he understands. The feeling of danger is gone now when I look at him, but I can't forget. My eyes dart to the space where our old oven stood. The oven has been replaced by a new one, and the ashes carefully gathered.

"What would you like to talk about?" the mage asks. I look down to my right thigh.

"Healing magic?" I offer hopefully. I still have no idea how to trigger it on myself; it only happened once, and I can't single out an emotion to help me.

Fai passes a hand through his hair, sheepish. "Ah, you see, I was never good with that sort of things," he says, trying to sound like it doesn't matter, but I can tell it does. "Healing, I mean."

XxX

I can't sleep. Tomorrow are the finals, and I still don't know if my leg will be in any shape to go. I don't toss and turn much, just lay down on my back and stare at the ceiling. Sakura's rhythmic breathing is peaceful beside me. Mokona is sleeping with Syaoran tonight. The room is mostly quiet.

I fumble with my bandage, open it, and touch the raw skin underneath. It's sensitive to my cool touch. Everything should be fine, I decide, although Fai's lesson amounted to a frustrating nothing.

I think I've noticed a pattern: fire, to attack. Shields are probably formed by air, to protect. Healing, I think, is water. Now that I consciously think them, my words make perfect sense; it is less like an idea and more like a truth, etched deep within my soul. My lips form words.

_You __are kin to fire that burns the heavens, friend to water that runs to the sea, consort to the wind that blows across the plains. Three parts of the four, daughter of ether. _

I don't know where this comes from, but it sounds familiar, like an old lullaby. I smile. Sometimes, people with missing memories will hear voices, bits and pieces of runaway memories, because it is the only way for their minds to justify knowing what they do. I know that already. And this voice has just given me an interesting tid-bit of information.

I already know that I can control fire and speak to water, but would it be considered cheating to manipulate winds tomorrow?

My smile becomes smirk. As if I could decide.

XxX

"_How did it go?" Shinju asks excitedly as I enter the schoolyard. Kaede runs after him, but she has a worried expression on her face. Maybe she can read what happened in my eyes? I wouldn't be surprised, with her. Ren isn't far behind._

"_I don't want to talk about it," I say gruffly, pulling on my backpack and looking away. Etsuko appears behind me, grabbing me in a bear hug. _

"_What happened?" she asks, in that kind but brutal way of hers that I love so much. Kento talks the same way. At the thought of Kento, my face becomes grim._

"_Did you tell him, at least?" Shinju says. He's been supportive all along, even giving me advice on flirting, even if I know he's always had a crush on Kento. But Shinju's always been able to keep a sense of humour about it, the strange, self-deprecating laughter of the one who knows his love will always be unrequited. I used to have the same look on things, until last night._

_I shake my head. "No," I say. "I didn't tell him. I'm just his little sister." The last sentence tastes bitter on my tongue. Etsuko holds me tighter. _

"_He's an asshole," he says determinedly. "Do you want me to beat him up for you?" That remark would have brought a smile to me lips any other time, but now I just shake my head._

"_Don't," I say. This is unfair to Etsuko; being caught between her best friend and her cousin, who might as well be her brother. _

"_He's still an asshole," he pouts. Shinju looks down, like he always does when he's thinking._

"_He couldn't have said that," he mumbles. I laugh joylessly. _

"_Wanna bet?" I bark harshly. We were on the roof, the same as all the other nights. It was perfect; I was leaning against his warm chest, we were talking, the stars above us like beautiful lanterns. I don't know exactly how the conversation turned to his ex-girlfriend, but that's when he said it. _"You know, Sha, I'm glad you're not like all the other girls..."_ My heart sank, until it was so deep I could barely find it anymore. I left him alone on that roof, with nothing more than a whispered goodnight, and crawled back into my own bedroom, where I barely never slept. I didn't sleep this time around either. I cried. Loosing your heart to the depths of your own chest is not easy, is it? _

"_No," Shinju says, shaking his head. "Surely he didn't turn you down. I thought... you're always together... how could he not...?" That's when I realize this hurts Shinju as well as it hurts me. All this time he had probably told himself Kento could not be his, because Kento belonged to me. He had invested himself in my dream, because he knew his would never come true. He was happy for me, because he was a good friend. And now the blow stung twice as bad, because he had failed again._

"_I hope you have an extra shirt for gym," I tell him, and press myself against his body. No tears come, like I thought they would, but we hang on to each other like only the broken-hearted can; desperately searching for something that is still there, someone that will not leave you or betray you, someone that won't allow your heart to be blown to pieces because of them. Etsuko presses herself to my back, nestling me between them. Kento might have been my ocean, but these friends are my rock. _

_I look up to Shinju. This should be the moment when he smiles and says something like: "Well, we all know Kento, he's going to find himself a nice, law-abiding girl and they'll live happily ever after, right?" But he always looked at me when he said that. Now he just hugs me back. _

"_You can always try again," Ren offers. I shake my head. No way. I may talk to Kento again, but it'll take me a while to get over my feelings._

_I don't talk to Kento at all that day. I don't feel capable of it. The next morning, I see him and Ren in the street as I walk for work. My heart clenches as they wave hello, because Ren's proximity to him feels like a betrayal, even though it's not her type to choose sides. Still, I ignore them both. As usual, I step onto a street that I know belongs to Shougo. Some guys from a rival gang spot me, and I start running. I spot my salvation in a door left ajar into a courtyard. I dash in. There's a whirlwind. _

_You know the rest._

XxX

"Hurry, hurry! Tomoyo-chan said to be there early to see Sakura-chan's beautiful new outfit!" Fai calls us excitedly from the door. Sakura is biting her nails nervously.

"Today's the finals," she says softly. "Oh, Aisha, I hope I've gotten good enough..."

"You'll be fine," I say. "Trust me. I've seen you, you're great." We exchange a smile. But then her gaze grows worried again.

"And what about you? Is your leg alright?" she asks. I smile.

"It's perfect," I say. I took a bit of painkillers this morning, even though it didn't hurt, just in case. Nothing will keep me away from competing in this thing.

XxX

The stadium is even bigger than the first time. As we stand on a balcony overlooking the scene, I can't help but gasp.

"They can't build anything that big! It's impossible!" I exclaim. I can't even quite make out where the crowd ends.

"And they make it fly, too!" Fai adds, leaning against the railing. "Now that's impressive!" I nod.

"I've never seen anything so grand in my life!" I admit with a chuckle. "It's stunning and scary all at once." Fai looks at me oddly, then smiles.

"Well then, we'll have to bring Aisha-chan to many more grand places, right?" he says, nudging me with his elbow, and I can't help but feel the blood mount to my cheeks.

"What are you two conspiring about?" Kurogane intervenes, joining us.

"Ah! Daddy dear!" Fai exclaims, turning to him. "I was just telling Strawberry-chan that you would just loooooooove to build her a grand palace somewhere, to prove your eternal devotion as a father!"

"What the hell?" the ninja yells, his eyes turning to lightning. "I'm not anybody's father, will you stop with that joke?"

"Awww, but it would make her so happy, Daddy!" Fai sings teasingly. I lift both hands up before Kurogane can truly explode in rage.

"Please," I say, "just… stop fighting. Fai-san, thank you very much but I don't need a… palace, or anything like that. And Daddy, dear," I add, turning to Kurogane with a grin, "I'm sorry, but I have to refuse your offer and deny you a chance to prove your devotion to me."

"You two are together in this!" the ninja rages, pointing a finger towards me, then Fai, then me again. Fai waves a hand in front of Kurogane's face.

"My, my, aren't you irritable today," he clucks disapprovingly. "And in front of the children, too." Syaoran and I exchange a glance, then the boy looks down with red in his cheeks. I look away as well, a little embarrassed. Being referred to as Kurogane's daughter… I don't know, I just find that awkward.

"You know, she did say this was the grandest place she had ever seen," Fai continues, still admonishing Kurogane. Surprisingly, his smile is more serious now. "Don't you think it would be nice to show her some more?" I'm not sure what it is, but there's something in Fai's expression that makes me take a step back. Not because I'm scared, but because I don't know how to react to it.

"Fai…" I start, but then the door behind us opens.

"Sorry for the delay!" Tomoyo exclaims, stepping out. I can see Sakura peeking out from behind the door and wave. "Come on out," Tomoyo urges, and the princess finally emerges from behind her.

The dress made by Tomoyo is exactly as we had planned it: soft pink with golden stitching, and a pair of false wings sprouting from her shoulder blades. Goggles and long white boots and gloves complete the outfit. Mokona has a matching pair of wings and goggles.

Sakura observes us shyly. Syaoran's face turns red, and he is rendered speechless. They look at each other silently for a moment, visibly not sure how to react, until Fai steps in.

"How cute!" he says.

"Tomoyo made it all herself," Mokona informs us. The girl in question waves her hand humbly. Sakura turns to her.

"It must take a lot of time, making it all by yourself…" she starts shakily, but Tomoyo interrupts her.

"I'm just satisfied it fits so well," she says with a contented sigh. Sakura smiles brightly.

"Then I am truly grateful for what you did!" she says.

"You like it?" Tomoyo asks.

"Yes!"

"You like it too, don't you?" I whisper to Syaoran, nudging him in the ribs. The boy's face turns red, and he looks down. I grin. "You can admit it, you know. We won't laugh."

"I… I think it looks very pretty on Sakura-hime," he admits, and I pat him on the shoulder.

"See? It didn't kill you. You're going to have to learn to compliment her, if you want to get anywhere." Syaoran looks up, surprised, but I wink conspiringly. "You know what I mean."

"Awww, girls," Fai sighs from behind us, looking out dreamily to Sakura and Tomoyo, who are chatting excitedly. "They're so cute." My fist shoots out and misses his nose by half of an inch.

"Now, what did we say about this?" I say, my expression as calm as I can make it. Fai looks down at my fist, then at me, and then he laughs.

"You're so protective, Raki-chan," he says, patting my arm down. I glare up at him. By now Tomoyo has broken from her eager conversation with Sakura, and his looking down over the railing.

"I'm very sorry," she finally says, her expression serious. "We were not able to find the culprit before the finals begin." We exchange nervous glances. Although we had assumed this, given the lack of news on the matter, it's still unsettling to have it confirmed.

"It's not Tomoyo-chan's fault," Sakura says reassuringly. Tomoyo shakes her head.

"They may try something again," she continues, turning around. She grabs Sakura's hands and squeezes protectively. "Although we have a foolproof defensive force, we never know what may happen." Then she turns to us, and her eyes are solemn. "Please be careful." The warning sounds almost ominous, as though she knows something will happen. But I shake the feeling off. How could she? All she has are ideas and suppositions, like the rest of us.

Kurogane scoffs. "Even if somebody messes around with this contest, all we have to do is win," he says with a wolfish smile.

"That's right," Fai agrees.

"Yes," Syaoran says.

"Definitely," I add. Sakura smiles, seeming eager and determined.

"Good luck!" Mokona croons. I pat the fur-ball on the head.

"You watch out for Sakura out there, okay?" I say. Mokona nods.

"Yes," he says. The crowd starts to cheer louder than before.

"Ah! The pre-race draw is about to begin," Tomoyo informs us with a smile.

"Draw?" Sakura asks, curious.

"It determines where you start off," Tomoyo answers, looking over to a large glass ball in which smaller, white balls are being tossed. Two commentators are standing on either side of it, apparently exciting the audience.

"Start off?" Sakura asks again, tilting her head to the side. The others imitate her, visibly confused as well. But I think I understand.

"Shouldn't that be determined by our place in the preliminaries?" I ask. Tomoyo shakes her head.

"Oh, no. This way, no one is favoured over the others," she explains. "Everyone gets a fair chance." I frown, nodding. I would say this isn't all there is to it, but if that's the way things always work…

"So, do we all pick a white ball?" Fai asks, listening to what the commentators have to say over the racket. "Because that's what they seem to be saying." Tomoyo nods.

"Yes. They'll be calling the names of your dragonflies soon, so you better get closer!" she tells us. Seeing the others' blank expressions, I decide to take over.

"Okay people, let's follow me!" I order, marching off to the staircase that leads below. "Say goodbye to Tomoyo-chan! We'll see you later!"

"Good luck!" Tomoyo calls behind us, waving madly. "I'll be cheering for you!"

"Thank you so much!" Sakura waves back, until I grab her arm and gently guide her to the stairs.

"Stay focused," I admonish her lightly. "Remember, we have a race to win."

"Right!" she exclaims, suddenly determined. I laugh.

"You're adorable," I tell her. "Especially in this outfit. It really does suit you." Sakura blushes nervously.

"I'm very grateful to Tomoyo-chan for making this for me…" she says.

"Sakura looks like an angel! And Aisha doesn't look like an angel at all! It's like a pair of opposites!" Mokona interrupts her with his senseless banter. I sigh. Okay, so it's true that I'm clad in black leather and a burgundy dress, which seriously clashes with the bright palette of Piffle.

"It's true! The angel and the demon, isn't it?" Fai chips in teasingly. I glare at him.

"And you just look like yourself," I growl. He smiles.

"Why, thank you," he says. I lift an eyebrow.

"That's not a compliment," I clarify, passing by him without a glance.

"Waaaah?" he cries, but I ignore him. Seeing me with a satisfied grin on my face, Kurogane stops me.

"Have you been fighting with the mage again?" he asks me. I shrug.

"I didn't hit him, don't be so happy," I say lightly. We are now standing at the base of the stage where the glass ball is standing. The commentator reads a name from a piece of paper.

"The Kuro-Tan!" she calls, then chuckles involuntarily. Kurogane's face becomes red as he marches violently up the stairs. I grin, and offer him a peace sign from below. Angrily, the ninja presses a button and a white ball shoots out of the machine. He catches it.

"Number nine!" the commentator announces, and the crowd starts cheering. Then it's Fai's turn. It appears she's calling us in order of our place in the preliminaries.

"Number eleven!" the commentator calls, and Fai walks back down.

"Not bad," I comment. "But it would be nice to have a few numbers above the ten."

"I like this number," Fai replies naively. "Two parallel lines, with little hooks on top… it's very pretty." I stare at him in disbelief for a second, then realize he's serious.

"You just like this number… because you find it's pretty?" I ask, not sure I'm talking to an adult. He nods, his smile more idiotic than usual.

"Is that wrong?" he asks. I want to answer something, but just then they call the name of my craft.

"The Stormchaser!" When I pass Ryu-oh on my way up, he offers me a high-five. I stare at his hand, surprised, then give it a firm hit.

"Bet you I can get in before you this time," I say. His smile grows wolfish.

"Bet you that you can't," he replies, and we continue on our separate ways.

"That's your rematch," I mutter to myself, a small smile stretching my lips. Arrived on the stage, I press the large button and catch the white ball as it flies towards me.

"Number nineteen!" the commentator calls, and I freeze. How can I be so far back in the lineup?

"It's not fair!" I whine as I walk back down the stairs. "There's only one person that's going to be worst off than me!"

"Stop crying," Kurogane grunts. "Even the last in line will eventually become first if he can find the patience."

"Don't go all philosophical on me!" I cry, although I'm already laughing. "And yes, you're goddamned right that I can still be first place!"

"The Mokona!" Syaoran steps up.

"Number fifteen!" We cheer as Syaoran walks down. His excitement is slowly leaving its place to the cold determination I know lies in his eyes whenever he wants something. Of course Syaoran will do anything to win this race.

"The Wing Egg!" we hear, and Sakura walks bravely up the steps as the crowd cheers her on. I know the number she picks will be the last one left, but I didn't pay enough attention to all the others to remember which ones have already been taken.

"I wonder how these numbers work in the competition," Fai says, still contemplating his 'beautiful' eleven. I scoff.

"It's the order in which we'll start," I explain. "You'll be in eleventh place at the beginning of the race."

"Kurogane has the most favourable spot so far," Mokona adds. Fai brings a finger to his temple.

"Ah, but I'm sure…" he starts, but is interrupted by the commentator.

"It has appeared!" The crowd goes wild. "Number one!" Sakura stands timidly in front of the machine, with the white ball in her hand.

"I knew it," Fai laughs, as though he has known all along. He probably just kept track of which numbers were picked beforehand.

"Good for Sakura!" Mokona cheers.

"Well, let's go," Fai announces calmly, looking out to where they are already loading our dragonflies according to our order. "To the Dragonfly race's finals."

"Yes, let's go," I say, and we begin to make our way through the crowd, towards the starting point of the race. Before we separate to reach our respectful dragonflies on their individual walkways, Kurogane stops me.

"You remember, don't you," he tells me seriously. "If you think you're putting too much strain on your leg, you stop right away. If it starts to hurt, you forfeit. If you have any problem at all, don't wait to crash." I smile tenderly.

"You're so sweet," I say teasingly. "You're worried for me. Thank you." The ninja grunts.

"I just don't want to have to take care of you for another week," he replies gruffly, but I distinctly see the tip of his ears turn red. I pat his arm.

"Don't worry about me, I can take care of myself," I say with a confident grin. "Just trust me, okay?" He turns away, mumbling something I don't understand, but my smile gets bigger. He's so fun to tease.

I run a hand under my craft's belly, checking to see if my secret weapon is still well attached. The electric blue tube is still there, and sturdy. When I enter my dragonfly, a mechanic hands me a small compass and shows me how to attach it to my glove. I tap it curiously, but the arrow doesn't budge. Suddenly, the trumpets sound again, announcing the beginning of the race. I snap on my goggles and pull on my gloves. I'm confident my leg will be able to sustain this, even though it's not completely healed yet. Despite my assurance in front of Kurogane, I'm nervous about that as well. But I won't forfeit like he wants me to if things go bad. I won't give up, no matter what.

"The Dragonfly race finals are about to begin!" I recognize the commentator from the preliminaries. "The contestants are at their starting points!" The only one behind me is the Ryanban, but I don't care for him. I'll just crush him like the insignificant beetle that he is. Fortunately, Chunyiang is in eighth place. She'll beat him easily enough.

"They are Piffle country's official racing vehicles, these lightweight machines – dragonflies!" Ryu-oh has picked number twelve. He looks around, then his eyes rest on me and I can see the amusement in them. He probably doesn't think I'll be able to catch up from where I am. But I send him a thumbs-up nonetheless, to which he answers.

"This year we have prepared the best prize ever! Who will win this amazing 'energy battery'?" The crowd cheers louder and louder as the commentator keeps talking. I see Shougo in front of me, I'm not sure in which position. But as soon as I see him, my foot becomes heavy and my arms are tense. I have to beat him, no matter what; it's a question of honour and spite.

"This year's competition will be different from that of past years!" the commentator explains. "Contestants must travel where their compass points! Before they reach the finish line, they must retrieve a marker from three locations! The marker is different at each location!" That way, it's impossible to cheat. Either you have all three markers, or you don't. I glance at my compass. If I rotate my hand, the arrow rotates as well, so that it is always pointing in the same direction.

"Hey! Raki!" I see Fai waving at me from his dragonfly. "It's not going to be straight after all!" he informs me with a smile. I laugh.

"Good thing you took lessons then!" I yell back.

"Good luck!" he calls, giving me a thumbs-up. I reply with a peace sign.

"Peace, love and chocolate!" I laugh. The trumpets sound again, and a giant image of Tomoyo is projected in the sky. I gap for a second, until I realize that this is a race. I can't let myself be distracted. The Tomoyo in the sky – probably an image of the real Tomoyo – holds up a screen. On it flashes a number: three. I start my engine. Two. Take a deep breath. One. Press on the gas pedal. Zero. Remember to follow the compass. A loud beep echoes across the stadium, and we're off.

"Collect your three markers!" the commentator reminds us, "and then hurry to the finish line!"


	33. Everchanging Winds

**DISCLAIMER: do I really have to say it again?**

**The race! Yay! Piffle is almost over! I know I shouldn't be happy about that, but my mind is already in Recort, which makes it hard to write these segments. I apologize if they don't live up to my other chapters. My mind is messed up that way.**

**XxX**

The sky is clear and blue, barely a could in sight – perfect weather for flying. I dash forward, feeling the wind through my hair and against my body. Despite my position, I quickly pass most people in front of me. I know that my fast acceleration is most useful at this stage of the race, before all the others reach their full speed. I see Syaoran's Mokona fly by like a flash, and then I zoom in front of Sakura, following the group.

"Oh! Wing Egg, starting off in the most advantageous position, is quickly surpassed by the dragonflies behind her!" the commentator announces. I feel a little sorry for the princess, but I realize that slowing down to give her a chance isn't going to help her in the long run, if we must win to get her feather. This isn't a friendly competition or a stroll through the night sky. I have to give it my all, even if it means Sakura won't place well. But knowing the princess, I know she will give it her all as well, no matter what.

"Look! The person currently in the lead is… the Kuro-Tan!" Of course. "He's exceedingly fast! No wonder he won the preliminaries!" I can see Kurogane in the distance, but there is still eight dragonflies separating me from where he is. "Right behind him flies Deucalion! In third place, Garuda, then Wizard! And the next four dragonflies are stuck in a tie!" I recognize Fai in the small cluster as I approach them quickly. He seems to see me as well, and smiles.

"Back in Outo country, I already noticed; Kuro-sama always seems so competitive!" he comments as I join the bunch. I pretend to be surprised.

"Oh? And you didn't notice that about me too?" I call teasingly, then wave as I fly past them, claiming fifth place. "See ya!"

"What quick acceleration from the Stormchaser! From nineteenth, she is already at fifth place!"

A glance at my compass confirms that I am going in the right direction, although I had been simply following the others since the beginning of the race. I see buildings approaching fast: my first reflex would be to circle them, but the compass's arrow points straight ahead.

"Oh! They are near it! The normal flight path full of buildings and advertisements! Unlike the preliminaries, the finals include a normal flight path as well! You can't win solely through speed!" the commentator explains. I breathe a sigh of relief. I had feared it was a mistake from the arrows to be pointing us through there, but now that I know that it's intended… I smile dastardly. Not only is this race showcasing my strong points, but Syaoran shouldn't have any problems with this either. Without the rain, this should be easy.

The previously organized line of dragonflies separates, each trying to find the shortest way through the city. I dive under a bridge, then between two buildings, slaloming amid the dozens of floating screens, where the commentator's face can now be seen.

"Avoiding the obstacles, choosing the flight path carefully… it's all very important!" he encourages us. I glance nervously in my rearview mirror to see how Fai is faring, but don't see him. Then I turn back and see Kurogane graze the surface of one of the screens, sending it flying back.

"Just shut up!" he yells angrily. The commentator's expression doesn't seem fazed in the slightest.

"The Kuro-Tan is flying in a dangerous spot!" he announces dramatically.

"Stop calling me that!" the ninja replies, his furious voice booming across the scenery.

"Fine. Let's change it to Tsubame," Fai declares with a devilish smile, suddenly appearing beside me.

"Great steering skills, Tsubame!" the voice comments. Fai waves at me with a satisfied grin. I reply with a smile, but I don't let the mage pass me. After all, I'm the one who taught him how to steer.

Now that everyone is apart, it has become more difficult to figure out my position within the race, but I think I can safely assume I've went up a spot or two, which would leave me third or fourth. The few dragonflies I can glimpse through the buildings - although they all seem to be proceeding decently through the maze - zigzag furiously like lost puppies searching for a sent. I soar through the city, following my instincts to guide me in the direction the arrow points to, and soon I find that I can sense the wind currents again. I position myself to get more wind in my bow, and zoom forward until I emerge from the cluster of buildings.

"The leaders have all made it out!"

"Yo, Kuro-rin!" Fai calls to the ninja, only a few paces in front of us.

"You'll crash if you take this too lightly!" Kurogane replies heatedly.

"Oh, how scary!" Fai exclaims playfully, not scared in the slightest. Just then, my compass beeps. I look at it worriedly, wondering if something's wrong with it. But the commentator soon eases my doubts.

"They are approaching the first key location!" he announces, while my compass beeps faster and faster. I look to the direction it is pointing, but all I see is a glistening translucent ball resting atop a pedestal. Visibly as confused as I am, Kurogane looks around.

"Oy, where do I get the marker?" he asks as the ball comes in closer. Suddenly, Fai gasps.

"Don't tell me it's… in there?" he says, and now that he mentions it, I can see them. Small golden coins float in the huge ball, and we dive towards it. But Kurogane still seems confused.

"How the heck are we supposed to take it?" he yells.

"Why don't we go see?" I reply, still determinedly keeping Fai from passing me. I know this isn't solely a race of speed, but I still want to keep the position I have until the others get faster than me.

Kurogane slows down, hesitant, leaving me in the lead for a few fleeting instants until Fai takes it from me. I growl in indignation.

"How dare you go against your own teacher?" I ask crossly. Fai only laughs.

"You should be honoured to be such a good teacher!" he replies. I don't have the time to say anything else, because we are practically on the ball now.

The translucent surface melts away, letting the golden coins fall through the air as we reach it. I don't ask questions and snatch a marker from the air before shooting back up. A good thing too, because the surface of the ball is reappearing, visibly solid.

"That was close," Fai comments, his eyes still wide with surprise.

"It's your fault," Kurogane grunts. The marker has a star drawn on it. I guess the markers for all three locations have different pictures on them.

"I see," Fai continues thoughtfully, looking down as we leave the first checkpoint. "When a dragonfly gets close, the ball bursts and you can catch a badge." I attach mine to my sleeve.

"That way, someone could miss it," Kurogane realizes. Fai nods.

"As you say," he says. "That, and the number of badges decreasing could cause a disadvantage for…" He doesn't finish his sentence, but we all know he means Sakura. Because the entire ball disappears when a dragonfly approaches, more than one badge falls to the ground every time. There is definitely more badges than contestants, but if they keep disappearing at such speed… there might not be enough for everyone.

"Okay," I say, "but some people seem very eager to pass us right now, so how about we focus on the flying, huh?"

"Always the practical one," Fai laughs and zooms forward, soon followed by Kurogane and I. Actually, I'm more worried about falling back in the lineup at this point, because it seems to be the only way I can go with both Fai and Kurogane in front of me. I know I'm good, but they're better than me.

"Currently in first place is the Tsubame! In second place is the Kuro-Tan! In close third is the Stormchaser, followed by Deucalion in fourth!" I notice that some more screens are scattered a little everywhere, showing us the commentator's face as well as footage of the race. I see my face when they mention my dragonfly, and hurriedly turn away. This is no time to be distracted by those screens. "Oh, what's this? The second group has arrived to the first checkpoint! The Mokona had been ranked fifteenth from the start, but is now steadily advancing!" I sneak a glance at the screen beside me to see Syaoran. Everything seems fine, and he does seem to be near the front of the second group. At least, if he keeps advancing this way, he might come in first in the end.

There's a gasp from the commentator. "He missed the badge!" I check again nervously, but it's not Syaoran. "When somebody gets close to the ball, it will release the badges," the commentator says. "However, if you miss the badge, the ball will not open for you for a fixed amount of time!" Whoever missed the badge the first time seems to be kept at bay from the ball by a ray of light. I hope Syaoran won't miss his badge; if he does, he might never be able to get it back.

"The Flying Lady approaches the ball!" Hearing such a peculiar name, I look up and recognize Nokoru on the screen.

"Of course," I mutter, rolling my eyes.

"Waa! Can the Mokona take his first badge safely, or…?" I want to look, but the Deucalion is getting a little too close for comfort. We tease each other a little bit, and I have no other choice than to block his path to keep him from passing me. Then, there's another surprised exclamation from the commentator.

"Wha-what? The ball exploded! Could it be a breakdown?" I don't turn to the screens to see the images, unlike the Deucalion's pilot. I take advantage of that small inattention to regain my advance. Now a safe distance away, I relax somewhat.

"The Mokona's timing is ruined! If he can't catch a badge now, the ball will be closed to him for a fixed amount of time, and he'll have to wait! Can he turn quickly enough?" I hold my breath, refusing to let the images on the screens distract me, but listening intently to the commentator's voice. "The badge snaps on that long wing… and he catches it! Splendid job!" I sigh in relief. "The middle group has caught their badges! They were up to the task! But the remaining badges are lost with the ball, and steadily falling to the ground!" I think of Sakura. _Oh please, please, please, catch one of those badges! _I pray silently. I don't care if the odds of winning are against her, she deserves at least the chance to finish the race.

"Four badges remaining! Wait! Only two left? One badge left!" the commentator says, obviously as nervous as I am. "What? It fell!" _Oh no. Sakura, go for it! _"Is it the end of the Wing Egg?" I encourage Sakura in my mind. _If all it takes for magic to happen is to establish a connection, then please let me help her now. _All it takes is wind. Just a small gust of wind…!

"The Wing Egg is in a nose dive!" There's an almost unsustainable silence before the commentator speaks again. "She caught the badge by a hair's breath!" I nearly collapse on my dashboard. I don't know if I helped her or not, and I probably never will, but she caught it, and that's what matters. My driving, which had turned mechanic and broken during Sakura's ordeal, soon goes back to normal. By some miracle, my bad driving hasn't cost me a place yet.

"There you have it, the badges are gone! Nineteenth and twentieth places are disqualified!" the commentator announces. "Now then, how is our first group doing?" Another, younger commentator takes his place.

"You guessed it! They are at the second checkpoint!" he yells, a little too enthusiastically for my taste. "As before, in first place we have the Tsubame! And in second place, the Kuro-Tan! Stormchaser, Yellow Tiger and Snow White are catching up!" A glance in my rearview mirror confirms that Yellow Tiger is in fact Shougo. Snow White is Kyle. I don't want either of them to pass me, purely on principle.

"They are increasing their speeds more and more!" Well, he's not talking about me, because I've already gotten to the fastest this dragonfly can go without bringing the clutch to its minimum resistance, which might not give me enough control to pass the next checkpoint. As though to confirm my thoughts, Shougo passes me in a flash.

"He passed them!" the commentator says, just as Kyle does the same. I scowl and press harder on the gas, although I know it won't amount to anything.

"At the last tournament, Yellow Tiger was the champion! What an amazing acceleration! Snow White is also fast!" Kurogane shoots forward, giving his craft a sudden burst of energy. Fai laughs.

"Like I thought, you hate to lose…" he says thoughtfully.

"So! Who will be the first to make it to the second check point?" My compass beeps repeatedly, and I see a large swirl in the distance. Coming up closer, I see that the swirl is actually a tube, suspended in the air above the water.

"The first part of the second checkpoint is the dragon tube!" the new commentator announces. "You can pass safely through this ring at the end to get the badge. But!" Shougo and Kyle enter the tube before the commentator can finish his warning. As soon as the two dragonflies enter it, the tube begins to thrash and twist erratically. At first I'm worried, thinking it's another malfunction, but the commentator reassures me. "This tube moves!" he yells as though this was the most unexpected turn of events. "Pay attention to it!"

"WHAT?" Kurogane shouts. "That's so troublesome!" Fai and I laugh, and we enter the dragon tube one after the other. The translucent cylinder is rather small, only wide enough to let one dragonfly through at a time. Following its movements proves easier than I thought; I feel a small change in the wind currents just before the tube moves, and can adjust my trajectory accordingly. I also find that the tube follows a wave pattern, not at all random like I had thought at first. In front of me, Fai seems to have no difficulty whatsoever. I even come to find it boring.

"This wave motion is really annoying!" Kurogane comments, confirming my opinion.

"But we aren't even going that fast," Fai teases him. "I wonder what's-" But the mage never finishes his sentence, because the tube chooses that moment to collapse. I see one side of the tube crash into the Tsubame, ramming it into the other panel. The entire tube is shaken by an erratic wave. The soft plastic threatens to crush me from every direction, and I panic. _I have to get out of here!_ Without thinking, I slam the bright blue button on my dashboard.

The jet rocket installed on my dragonfly, my secret weapon, roars to life in a blaze of blue. I press on the gas without thinking, evading part of the cylinder that wanted to ram into me, making it out in a heartbeat. Then I stop, breathless and in shock, just outside the tube. I don't quite register that a dispenser on the exit ring has shot a badge at me, and that it now sticks to my right wing. The rocket probably only has the power for one more use, but I don't care about that now. The bottom of the tube has ripped off and fallen into the water, bringing many dragonflies in with it. I see Kurogane in front of me, but I can't make out Fai. I look back inside the tube. Did he make it out?

"The Kuro-Tan made it out," the commentator says, "and the Stormchaser as well, by some miracle, but…what about the Tsubame, who was following the Kuro-Tan?"

"Kid!" Kurogane's voice calls out, snapping me out of my shock. I look up to him. His expression is serious. "Get a move on, you don't have the time to wait around like this!" And he leaves. I nod and take a deep breath. I know he's right, of course. I follow him, but all I can think about is whether Fai is alright. I can see him down below, his dragonfly half-submerged, but he doesn't look harmed. His arms form a large X above his head as he forfeits, a big smile on his face. I shake my head.

"Oh, Fai…" I moan sadly. It's a good thing Kurogane shook me out of it when he did, because the other contestants are following fast. I just can't help thinking that, had I not installed this rocket as a simple precaution, I wouldn't have made it out either. I should have made everyone install one, just in case. Then maybe Fai wouldn't have been forced to forfeit.

"There have been some problems at the second checkpoint! So far, six people have been eliminated!" the commentator yells. "Oh, new information! The tube has now been sealed, so it's okay to fly through!"

"Oh, so now it's safe," I mutter, still managing to keep the ones behind me at bay. Now that Fai's gone I'm in fourth place. I navigate using my compass and the wind, not bothering to follow Kurogane this time around. This segment of the race is very much like the preliminaries, straight and uncluttered with obstacles, a true test of speed. Kurogane has passed Kyle, but Shougo still eludes him. The third checkpoint isn't anywhere in sight, so I listen to the announcements being made about the second one.

"Contestants rapidly overcome this obstacle! Even the Wing Egg, in last place, has passed!" I smile. That's good news. "Now they are finally approaching the next checkpoint!" I still don't see it, but I guess my compass will soon beep. All I can make out is a large wall of rocks in front of us, yet my compass is pointing me straight to it. Then I understand. Large canyons zigzag through the rock like a giant, natural maze.

"Yes! This is the third checkpoint!" yet another commentator takes over. "It is full of dangerous canyons like these! Piffle country is proud of those natural mazes! By the way, does anyone know that the first to build a maze was called Maze-san?" And do I care? Not really. I think I like the first commentator better, even though he was intent on giving me information I would rather have done without. These younger ones are far too enthusiastic for me. "Maze-san didn't want anyone visiting his bedroom, so he remodeled the whole house, therefore creating the world's first maze!" I dive into the canyon after Kyle. I haven't been able to pass him yet, but I think this might be my chance. "And as we speak, the leading pairs have arrived! The marker is beyond those canyons! Oh, and please follow the rules and go through the canyons, because there are sensors stationed on top of them. If they catch you going above, you will be disqualified."

"Goddamned bastards," I hear Kurogane exclaim, and laugh. I had sensed his intention to fly above the canyons since we got here.

"The Kuro-Tan and the Yellow Tiger have entered the canyons at the same time! The Snow White and Stormchaser are close behind, vying for third place! And then comes Garuda! The others are catching up!" The canyons are a bit more of a challenge than the tube, because the turns are sharp and random, and they branch off in many directions at once, some ending in dead ends.

"Will these canyons change the order of the contestants?" I hope not. My engine is strained to its maximum, and all I can do from here is go down in the lineup, unless a miracle happens, and Kyle crashes or something.

"Oh, and speaking of this canyon," the commentator continues in the tone of conversation, "I heard that the descendants of the Yeti who lived here-" By an act of God – or an annoyed technician – the transmission is abruptly stopped. I cheer silently.

My miracle does happen, after all. Due to all the jagged edges and sudden turns, the contestants slow down to avoid accidents. I slow down a little as well, to rest my engine, but I know that when it matters I'll be ready to shoot forward faster than they will be able to. That might get me a place or two higher, especially if Shougo is still in the lead then. Because I can't let him win.

Suddenly, the sound system buzzes to life again, and a rather tamed version of the third commentator continues his work. "This space requires even more maneuvering skills than the first checkpoint!" he informs us, as though we hadn't already noticed. I see Kurogane push Shougo to the side. Instead of a gentle teasing, the ninja nearly rams into the Yellow Tiger, forcing it to back down. "Kuro-Tan is getting pushy!" our commentator says.

"I have to if I want to win!" Kurogane replies determinedly. He takes the lead with ease, as though it was his rightful place all along. That's when I know what I have to do. If his rightful place is first, then mine is second. If Kurogane fails, there has to be someone there to take the lead and bring us the feather!

I let my dragonfly drop a few feet, just enough to confuse Kyle. Then I shoot up from under him, forcing him to swerve to the side to avoid me. I dash forward, refusing to reduce my speed despite the dangerous conditions. If I am going to get past Shougo as well, it has to be soon.

"The Kuro-Tan is now in the lead! The rest are catching up! The distance between them is shortening! But! This seems rather chaotic! Five dragonflies in a space so narrow?" I look in my rearview mirror, but can't make out who he's talking about. I hope neither Syaoran nor Sakura are in that group, because remaining clustered in a space like this can be disastrous. That's why I lost Kyle.

"The Ryuga has a sudden burst of speed! He passes two racers!" I try to remember why that name sounds familiar, and then I recall it: Ryu-oh. That must be Ryu-oh's dragonfly. "He's still accelerating! But this area is very narrow... Ryuga shoots ahead anyways! He passes another! WATCH OUT!" It is becoming increasingly difficult to steer in the canyon and follow the commentator's notes, but when the scream rings out from the sound system, I am suddenly all ears. There's the sound of an explosion behind us, and I cringe. _I swear, Ryu-oh, if Syaoran or Sakura is involved in this accident... you're dead meat!_

"Oh! Ryuga has collided with the Mokona! And the two behind them have crashed into smithereens!" I curse loudly.

"Prepare to die!" I scream furiously. I really hope Ryu-oh's heard me, because he will pay. Especially if Syaoran's hurt in any way. And I'm talking scratches.

"Collisions have caused the elimination of five contestants!" I do a quick count in my head. If eleven of us are eliminated, then that means there are only nine left in the running, including Kurogane, Sakura and I. We still form a third of the competition.

"The Flying Lady manages to avoid the collision!" I very selfishly wish Nokoru had taken the fall instead of Syaoran. I see the flying vehicles used to retrieve the contestants and what remains of their dragonflies land near the crash. I catch a glimpse of a screen, and see the boy's face. He's smiling, and seems unharmed. Ryu-oh should still pay for this, I decide.

We're close to the end of the canyon; I can see the vast expanse of water beyond it. I smile. Almost there. "The first to reach the checkpoint is the Kuro-Tan! Then, the Yellow Tiger, and the Stormchaser in third place!" My smile falls. Something isn't right. The wind isn't reacting the way it should around me, which confirms that... yes! Kyle is coming up behind me, and fast. I have to stop him. "Snow White in fourth, Garuda in fifth, Flying Lady in sixth! Legend in seventh, Renhi in eighth, and Wing Egg in ninth!" the commentator concludes. "It seems that only nine contestants made it out of the canyons. Past the narrow rock faces, we can see them!" the voice rings again. "The last obstacle of the third checkpoint!" I see it too; tall columns of water shoot up towards the sky. "Geysers!"

Now this should be easy. I can already feel the water currents as they bubble up to form a geyser, and evade it with ease.

"You cannot predict when the water will shoot up!" the commentator warns, and I chuckle. Wanna bet? Kurogane seems to have some difficulty with the geysers, but he doesn't loose his place. Several contestants slow down, however. "Few contestants took precautions against water. If they get splashed, they may not be able to fly!" Once again, I chuckle as water splashes me from all sides, because not only is my engine protected from water, but that storm the other day was much worst than this.

"All the dragonflies are furiously battling water!" Except for me, I add joyfully. I zoom effortlessly through the geyser field, soon reaching Shougo. However, the geysers don't seem to have an end, and I worry that Kurogane won't hold on that long.

"Ah! Legend has been soaked through!" the commentator says, and soon the sound of a crash reaches my ears over the thundering water. My heart clenches with worry for Sakura; I hope she's faring well.

"While all the dragonflies are slowing down, the Stormchaser and the Wing Egg actually accelerate!" I perk up at the announcement. "Stormchaser has gone from third to close second, and the Wing Egg is now fourth!" I rejoice when I see Sakura in my rearview mirror. Mokona seems to be enjoying himself at the helm. Kyle and Shougo are slowing down, and will soon be ready for Sakura to pass them as well. I wonder if she can sense the water flow, like I can.

"Renhi and Garuda have also fallen prey to the geysers!" I hear screams as two dragonflies fall down. "We still have six dragonflies left! No one knows when the water will shoot up, which makes this area difficult even for the best drivers. Only the Wing Egg and Stormchaser are able to fly through it easily. But oh! What's this? The Stormchaser and the Snow White seem caught in a fight for third place!" I thank the commentator as Kyle suddenly appears near me and pushes me to the side. I fight back, even going as far as to hit him, but he avoids a geyser and forces me to swerve to evade him. But he has pushed us close to the canyon wall, and my left wing scraps against a rock. With a yelp, half of my wing missing, I veer out of control.

"No!" I exclaim, trying in vain to regain control of my vehicle. "You've got to be kidding me!" Everything was going so well!

"Snow White has passed Stormchaser, forcing her into the rocky wall! Now she's out of control!" I hear the commentator say. Water erupts around me, but no geyser manages to hit me. Fury flows through my veins at the thought of having to forfeit. I promised myself I wouldn't, but with such damage, how can I not?

Now out of options, I slam the blue button again. If I'm going down, I'm bringing Kyle down with me, I decide. The rocket flashes blue and I zoom forward, hitting Kyle's dragonfly with full force. I can't help a whimper as the front of my craft bends with a sound of scraped metal, crushing my legs. But when I fall, the Snow White falls with me, not before colliding with the Yellow Tiger, now right in front of him.

"She... The Stormchaser has caused a chain reaction! Now three dragonflies are crashing against the rocks!" I'm lucky enough not to hit any rocks; my dragonfly, exhausted, simply plummets straight down into the water. Ejected from my seat, I land with a splash beside the Stormchaser, and quickly grab on for dear life, sputtering and soaked. I can't reach the bottom with my feet, and I feel that if I let go I'm going to drown. It's a good thing dragonflies float.

"Have you gone mad?" the Kyle from this world asks me angrily, visibly not as inhibited as his alter ego to keep up a nice-guy facade. I look at him as calmly as I can in these angry waters, putting all my disgust and fury in my eyes.

"Engine troubles," I innocently give as an excuse. He jerks back, unconvinced. Shougo finally crashes beside us, showering me with water. Geysers erupt all around us, splashing us and creating huge waves. My grip on the Stormchaser's wing gets tighter as I struggle to keep my head out of the water. I realize that I'm trembling, but it's not from the cold.

"Are you two okay...?" Shougo starts, then sees me and stops. He eyes me warily, as though suspecting me to explode in rage at any second. But I nod tamely.

"I'm fine," I tell him. Kyle suddenly gains his nice-guy act back.

"I'm okay," he says with a gentle smile, then turns to me. "I'm sorry if I'm the one who's caused so much damage to your craft."

"Oh, don't be," I say, heavy sarcasm in my voice. He had to know that he would eventually push me into something if he went on that way, but he did it anyway. That was no accident. Shougo's eyes run from me to Kyle, visibly confused.

"Are the three contestants ready to retire, or can they still continue the race?" the commentator wonders aloud, reminding us all that we must give the forfeit signal to be retrieved. The two men quickly assess their vehicles, but I already know mine is in no shape to fly.

"I'm done," I say, forming an X with two fingers, too afraid to let go of my dragonfly to use my arms, as the official signal should be. I know the others will be watching, so I try to give them a small smile, just enough to tell them I'm alright. Maybe that's what Fai felt when he forfeited and smiled joyfully, as though nothing had happened. But inside, I am furious. My only consolation is that I brought Kyle down with me.

After their individual assessments, both Shougo and Kyle imitate me. It seems to take only seconds for a large aircraft to arrive, hovering loudly above us.

"The Stormchaser, Snow White and the Yellow Tiger, last year's champion, have retired!" the commentator says as the door of the craft opens and a man waves at us with a smile.

"Everyone okay down there?" he asks. I nod, and so does Kyle. Shougo shrugs. The man offers Kyle a hand, to help him into the craft. Shougo is next, but they have to send down a ladder for me, because they can't go down that low without hitting our floating dragonflies.

"We'll send someone to pick those up later," the man assures us as he pulls me in vigorously. He has a contagious smile on his face. "Well, aren't you nice and soaked, lady!" he exclaims when he sees me, and drops a towel on my shoulders. I thank him, and start rubbing down my arms and legs. "Now, if you three'll sit over there, we'll bring you back in no time," he tells us, pointing to benches in a corner of the aircraft. The men sit opposite of one another, but I hesitate; I wouldn't want to sit next to Kyle for all the money in the world, but I don't want to sit next to Shougo either. I finally opt for Shougo's side.

"So," he says when I drop next to him, "did you do that on purpose?" I look at him in surprise.

"Huh?" I ask. He seems annoyed and upset.

"Did you run into us on purpose?" he asks again. I shake my head.

"Although I did tell you I was going to kick your ass," I remind him in an attempt to humour. He snorts. We spend the rest of the way in silence. A medic comes to see us to make sure we are unharmed, and Shougo and Kyle pass the examination without any problems. When he comes to me and asks me to take off my boots, I curse. I have three bruises the size of eggs on each of my calves. But the medic reassures me and says that they will heal by themselves, in time, and that my wound hasn't opened again. Then we sit silently until they drop us off in a waiting room.

"Here you are!" the rescuer calls back to us. "Safe and sound! Better luck next year, eh?" I wave to him as he flies out again to patrol the course. When I turn around Kyle is nowhere to be seen, but Shougo is standing in front of me, arms crossed.

"So it was an accident, huh," he says sarcastically. I wave his accusations away.

"You, believe it or not, it was an accident," I answer. "Kyle, not really." He smiles at this.

"So that was the guy you hate?" he asks. I nod.

"You're in close second," I inform him, which he seems to take as a joke.

"Well, I guess that guy was right," he shrugs and turns away. "I'll try again next year. You better watch out though, because I won't be going easy on you!" I grimace.

"I don't want your pity," I growl. "And there is no 'next year' for me." He turns back to me, probably sensing my frustration is bigger than his.

"I don't know why you hate me," he finally says, "but doesn't this make us even?" I hesitate; does loosing a race equal the loss of everything he holds dear? No. But it wasn't really him, and it wasn't on purpose, so I guess I have to give him a little slack.

"Maybe," I tell him, then turn away to look for Fai and Syaoran. Surely they must be around here somewhere…

"Woo-hoo! Raki-Birdy-chan! Over here!" I look to the familiar voice and see Fai, waving at me from a table. Syaoran is beside him. "Not bad for someone who started in nineteenth place, isn't it?" Fai adds teasingly. "Spending most of the race in the top five!" I smile as I reach them.

"How are you doing?" I ask, then turn to Syaoran with a serious expression. "If I see that Ryu-oh, I'm going to hurt him so bad…"

"Ah, no!" Syaoran stops me, panicked. "Aisha-san, it's okay, really! It was my fault, I wasn't able to dodge him!" I peer into his eyes.

"Liar," I say. "You probably stuck yourself under him so he didn't hit the rocks." Syaoran's gaze drops to the floor, confirming my impression. I shake my head hopelessly. "You do realize that you're too nice for your own good, do you?" I say, patting him on the head.

"Oh, look! It's Kuro-tan!" Fai exclaims joyfully, pointing to one of the giant screens in the waiting room. We see the six remaining contestants slaloming through the canyons.

"The Wing Egg is now in second place!" the commentator's voice booms across the room. I smile proudly and clap, sitting down beside Fai, watching the action intently. Kurogane is still leading, and Sakura is right behind him.

"Awww, damn," I mutter. "I would have aced that." Fai eyes me, amused.

"That was just like you, refusing to go down without a fight," he laughs, taking the towel around my shoulders and using it to dry my hair. I snatch it away from him and proceed to doing it myself. He only laughs harder. "And you're so cute when you get angry," he informs me. I stick out my tongue and pretend to punch him in the stomach. He rests back against his chair.

"Sakura is so cool!" Fai sighs proudly, looking at the close-up of her on the screen. Suddenly, someone pops up beside me and sits at our table.

"Yeah!" the newcomer adds, and I turn around suddenly to glare at him. It's Ryu-oh. He sees me too and eyes me warily, as though he remembers the results of our previous battle in Outo. Syaoran tries to stop me, but too late. My arm comes up and violently hits Ryu-oh on top of the head. Tears pool in his eyes.

"Owie!" he whines, visibly confused. "What was that for?"

"Aisha-chan! I told you…" Syaoran starts worriedly, but I interrupt.

"Next time you force Syaoran-kun to save your ass, I swear it'll be much worse," I warn him grimly. Fai laughs. Ryu-oh rubs the forming bump on his head.

"I'm sorry," he finally says contritely, "I was going too fast…"

"You bet you were," I say, still glaring.

"Ah! Aisha-chan…"

"Who are you?" Ryu-oh wonders aloud, lifting his head up to look at me, then turning to Syaoran. "Does she travel with you?" The boy nods, seemingly resigned to his fate of being embarrassed by me in public.

"I'm sorry," Ryu-oh adds, but Fai pats him on the shoulder.

"It's alright, she's just very protective, that's all," the mage reassures him. "I would like to say her bark is worst than her bite, but that wouldn't exactly be true. But I'm pretty sure she already forgave you, because you would be halfway to hell by now." Ryu-oh looks up to me, and I take a deep breath.

"You're off the hook," I finally say, offering him my hand. Then a teasing smile lights my face. "After all, I did win our bet!"

"Huh?" he frowns and scratches his head. "But none of us placed," he objects. I lift an eyebrow.

"I got further than you, so I win," I reply. He frowns, ready to object, but then shrugs.

"I guess you're right," he says. I nod.

"Good, cause that was your rematch," I say. He looks at me oddly.

"What?"

"Never mind," I say, waving him away. "What were you saying before I hit you?" Ryu-oh suddenly seems to remember why he's here.

"Oh yes!" he says, then turns to Syaoran. "That Sakura girl, does she travel with you guys too?"

"Yeah!" Syaoran answers, visibly glad that the argument is over. Ryu-oh nudges him in the ribs with a knowing smile.

"How are you two related, huh?" he asks teasingly. Syaoran doesn't know how to answer. Fai does, however.

"Syaoran-kun, Sakura-chan, Mokona-chan and Aisha-chan are siblings," the mage says with an innocent smile, then turns to the screen where a close-up of Kurogane is flashing, "and that guy is the father!" I refrain an urge to hit Fai by grabbing my head with both hands and looking down in disbelief. Ryu-oh seems stunned.

"Wha… that rabbit-looking thing too?" he asks. I shake my head.

"No…" I try to set things straight.

"Mokona's the eldest!" Fai interrupts me joyfully, further confusing the poor boy. I want to strangle him, but an announcement from the commentator interrupts us all.

"Now, they are about to pass the geysers!" he says. We see the badges being shot onto Kurogane's craft, then on Sakura's. "The six that made it through have received their badges!" I wistfully touch my meagre two badges. If it weren't for Kyle, I'd be up there too. Mokona exchanges a few words with Kurogane, who replies vehemently, and Sakura smiles. Unfortunately, the cameras can't record the sounds on the course. But everything seems to be fine for them.

Suddenly, a giant column of water, bigger than the geysers, shoots up towards Sakura. The princess can't avoid it, it's too late. My heart starts pounding, and I involuntarily grab Syaoran's arm in worry. The commentator said they were past the geysers! How can this happen? One certitude overcomes me:

"This isn't natural," I whisper, clenching my teeth.

In one swift move, Kurogane swerves to the side and pushes the Wing Egg out of the way. I gasp. The geyser hits the Kuro-Tan with such force that the craft is blown to pieces. I clasp a hand on my mouth and squeeze Syaoran's arm so hard the boy winces. But I can't help it; Kurogane is nowhere to be seen, even as the remains of his dragonfly plummet to the water. I try desperately to catch a glimpse of him on the screen, but it's all in vain.

"The geysers, which supposedly were passed, have shot a huge fountain of water!" the commentator says. "Could the Kuro-Tan have survived such a blast?" Sakura is hovering over the spot where the geyser erupted, visibly in shock. I shudder. Kurogane can't be dead. He has to be there. I try to scan the water with my mind, to search for a sign of life, but either it's too far or I'm too shocked for my powers to work, because I can't sense a thing.

Beside me, Syaoran and Ryu-oh are bewildered. Fai's expression is grim. I feel tears prick at my eyes, but I push them back. He's not dead.

Something shoots up from the water, and I nearly cry in relief. It's Kurogane. He's alive.

"He's there!" the commentator yells, and the room let out a collective sigh of relief. I look to Syaoran and Fai, and start laughing uncontrollably.

"He's alive…" I gasp between two howls. "He… he's okay!" Fai puts a hand on my shoulder.

"Isn't he always?" He smiles reassuringly, like he has known all along. I force myself to calm my breathing. Syaoran shakes his head like he can't believe this all just happened.

"While Wing Egg paused, both the Flying Lady and Wizard have passed her!" the commentator announces, breaking our moment of disbelief. I look back at the screen. A craft is already on its way to pick up Kurogane. The ninja is yelling something at Sakura. She replies, but he interrupts her angrily. She finally turns back and shoots forward determinedly.

"Wing Egg has taken flight once more!" I cheer her on silently. She's our only chance to win now. Then the camera shows Kurogane, bobbing up and down in the water. "He has been leading all the way, but the Kuro-Tan backed down near the end of the race!" the voice comments, and I want to make it shut up. He nearly got killed for Sakura, that's not what I would call 'backing down', and especially not on that condescending tone! It's only when Syaoran cries out in pain that I realize I'm still holding his arm and squeezing it in fury. I let go hurriedly.

"Sorry," I mumble apologetically, "I'm sorry…"

"It's okay," he answers, rubbing his arm.

"Good thing he's not hurt!" Ryu-oh exclaims, then adds, as an after-thought, "your father." At first I don't quite understand who he's talking about, and then I remember what Fai said about Kurogane. I'm about to set things straight again when Fai stands up with the visible intention of going somewhere. We all look at him in surprise.

"Fai-san?" Syaoran asks worriedly. But Fai smiles softly.

"Kuro-sama should be coming here too," he says, "that's why I'll be gone for just a sec."

"Why? It's okay to just wait here," Ryu-oh intervenes.

"Exactly, but he probably won't let a doctor examine him," Fai answers, then shakes his head. "That Kuro-rin…" I stand up.

"I'm coming with you," I decide. Fai shrugs.

"If you want to," he says. I walk past him.

"I'm not asking," I reply, and he chuckles. But Syaoran and Ryu-oh seem alarmed by Fai's words.

"Is he hurt?" Ryu-oh asks, looking back at the footage of Kurogane getting pulled out of the water. Fai smiles reassuringly.

"He's so stubborn," he says, avoiding answering the question, "that father." It's only then that I realize the truth of his words. Hasn't Kurogane acted as our surrogate father since this journey began, pushing us and encouraging us when we didn't quite believe in ourselves? Kurogane would make a good father, I decide. Even though it's still awkward for me to think of him that way, I know it's the truth.

"Syaoran-kun, look," Fai says, pointing to the image of Sakura on the screen. "Support Sakura-chan for Kuro-tan, Aisha-chan and me." After a moment's hesitation, the boy nods, and we leave. We don't really speak as we make our way to the drop-off spot. In fact, none of us utter a word until we see Kurogane step out of the large rescue craft.

"Kuro-sama!" I yell, running towards him at full speed. "Did you let the medic examine you? Huh?" I look behind him and see the medic peeking through the door. "Did he let you examine him?" The medic shrugs and shakes his head. I jab my finger on the ninja's chest. "You nearly died out there, don't tell me you don't need anyone to check if you're not hurt!" I see blood on his left hand. "See? See? What's that? Isn't that a wound? Shouldn't that see a doctor? Huh?" Kurogane doesn't answer, but looks to Fai for help. The mage chuckles and pats him on the shoulder.

"She's been very worried, Kuro-chii," he says. "It would be nice if you just…"

"All the contestants have made it through the obstacles!" the commentator's loud voice interrupts him. "The finish line is on the other side of the waterfall!" We turn to the nearest screen as one. The five remaining dragonflies have paused in front of the rushing wall of water in front of them. "All the dragonflies are hesitating, slowing down!" And I don't blame them. The waterfall seems thick and impenetrable. "There are sensors on top to prevent them from flying above!" Well, that complicates things. Maybe they really have to go through that waterfall to win…

Suddenly, Sakura dashes forward, towards the roaring water at top speed. "Look at Wing Egg! There she goes!" The other dragonflies don't move. I cringe, half-expecting Sakura to crash when she reaches the water. But as she approaches, the Wing Egg gains speed and dashes into the heart of the waterfall.

"She's charging into it?" the commentator yells in shock, and I hold my breath. I have to trust Sakura. Endless seconds pass by until the image changes, showing us another waterfall. The pink Wing Egg shoots out of the water and into a hoop suspended in midair.

"GOAL!" the commentator yells, and I shout in excitement.

"Yes! Woot! Go Sakura!" They show us the images: there was a passageway behind the waterfall, which leads beyond it, to the other waterfall where the goal is.

"Competing for the first time, Wing Egg has won!" the commentator shouts in wonder. We see Sakura doused in confetti and flowers, and everyone in the room goes wild. Some cheer, some cry, and I'm the idiot dancing around with Fai.

"Sakura-chan won! Sakura-chan won!" we chant. Kurogane stares at us like we're idiots. On the screen, Sakura is hugging Mokona with all her strength, a brilliant smile on her face. After twirling me around one last time like I weight nothing, Fai seems to calm down.

"Hyuu!" he says. "So in the end, it was Sakura-chan."

"That's not whistling!" I scold him, but I'm too happy to mean it.

"And stop saying 'hyuu'!" Kurogane adds, annoyed. Fai laughs.

"Even though I practiced in the country of Yama, I still can't do it," he deplores. Then he comes us behind Kurogane and grabs his arm. "Now, let's go see a doctor," he says, looking up to the ninja. I smile victoriously.

"Fai's on my side!" I sing. Kurogane grunts.

"How troublesome!" he growls towards us, daring us to drag him there. We do.

"Don't be like that!" Fai says, joyfully pulling Kurogane behind him. "If Father does it, the children will imitate, that's what I believe," he preaches, sending a meaningful glance my way. I feel my cheeks go red.

"Stop saying that too!" Kurogane orders, irritated.

"Hey, practice what you preach!" I admonish. "You gave me enough shit for not going to the doctors, now I get to do the same, okay?"

"You see? Are you going to ignore your daughter's worries? Evil, evil father," Fai adds. "Making her worry like that."

"Did you come here to make jokes?" the ninja asks gruffly, a vein distinctly popping next to his temple. Fai turns around with a devilish grin.

"That's one of my intentions," he admits, but then his eyes grow serious, "but I was also a bit worried. There were all sorts of accidents during the race. And lastly, that geyser that eliminated Kuro-sama felt a little strange somehow…"

"If I let her get hurt there it would have been even more irritating," Kurogane grunts, glancing down at his hand.

"But Sakura-chan didn't notice, which means it wasn't something normal," Fai adds.

"It wasn't," I confirm. They turn to look at me oddly. Fai turns back thoughtfully, still making his way towards the doctor's office.

"Just as I thought, it's like Tomoyo-chan said," he muses. "Somebody cheated." Now it's Kurogane and my turn to look at him.

"The culprit…" Kurogane says, like me slowly gluing the pieces together. Fai cocks his head to the side playfully.

"I think it's her!" he says.

XxX

"Congratulations on passing!"

"Th… thank you very much!" Sakura says, blushing slightly. I rest my chin on my hand and smile. She's so adorable up there.

"The reason you won was because of that last waterfall-" the commentator continues, holding up the microphone towards Sakura, but it's Mokona that takes control of it.

"And thanks to Mokona!" the fur-ball croons. The commentator freezes, visibly unable to react accordingly. But Sakura only smiles as though she expected it.

"Actually, it was also because Moko-chan was there," she says humbly. I shake my head. Mokona will always try to steal the show, just because it's Mokona!

"Aisha-chan, the celebration party's about to start!" Syaoran calls me. I turn away from the screen.

"Already?" I ask. "Is Kuro-sama even ready?" We managed to get Kurogane into the doctor's office, and convinced him to get simple treatment. I used his attitude towards my battle wound as a guilt trip several times. Fai kept laughing, so I assume it must have been funny. "And what did you just call me?" I add, suddenly realizing it. Syaoran blushes and looks down. I smile brightly. "Aisha-chan! You called me Aisha-chan, didn't you?" I'm happy. Finally.

I run to him and grab his arm, pulling him towards the party. "Now, we move on to our next goal!" I proclaim dramatically. "Simply Aisha!" Syaoran laughs.

"Let's stick with Aisha-chan for now," he decides.

XxX

We find places in the stands reserved for contestants, wooing and cheering for Sakura. Finally, the commentators walk on the floating stage, with the finish line as backdrop.

"Then it's finally decided-"

"The Dragonfly race champion-"

"The cutest and fastest of them all… Wing Egg!" they announce. A spotlight illuminates Sakura and her dragonfly, up there on the stage. She seems happy. We cheer with all our voices. The crowd cheers too, and the result is a deafening sound of victory. Sakura looks in our direction and I give her a peace sign, which she returns with a smile.

"And now, to present the winner's prize…" one of the younger commentators says. Tomoyo-chan rises from below the stage on a moving platform, holding up a glass scepter. In the ball above it lies an energy that I could recognize among all others.

"The energy battery!" all three commentators yell at once, and the crowd goes wild once again. Tomoyo hands the scepter to Sakura, and both girls exchange happy smiles.

"Sakura-chan won!" Fai cheers behind us. "Girls really do have more potential."

"You bet we do!" I exclaim. "Go Sakura!"

"Most people believe that this energy battery can supply a whole city's electricity!" a commentator reminds us.

"Literally, energy battery means something that stores electricity. But, does everyone know that it was originally made based on a fish that can store electricity?"

"Shut up!" Ryu-oh and I yell in unison, then burst out laughing.

"It's well known that this fish, the Raigyo, is about 3 cm long when it's young," he continues nonetheless, but now his colleague starts pulling him off the stage. "After it's grown up, it can grow to about 2 metres long. This procedure…" But he's gone, and we will never know how a Raigyo fish ends up being 2 metres long. I think we'll live.

Sakura and Syaoran wave at each other warmly. Ryu-oh's gaze goes from one to the other frantically.

"You two are pretty close!" he tells Syaoran, who blushes. I chuckle.

"They are," I say, and watch Syaoran's face turn yet a shade deeper.

"Kuro-tan's score was very good too!" Fai says, waving his arms madly in front of the ninja, as though afraid that we'll forget him. Kurogane barely reacts. Fai turns to him with a disapproving glance. "You have a very deep wound, but don't just stand there," he says. The ninja grunts. Fai leans in closer. "If you over exaggerate it, Sakura might think that it's her fault," he adds.

"So troublesome," Kurogane grunts, and I wonder if he means his injury or the wizard. Fai doesn't seem to catch the double-entendre.

"Whatever you say, Father," he says joyfully. Kurogane's eyes shoot daggers.

"You bastard!" he growls, his hand slowly balling into a fist. Fai smiles softly.

"But it's different now, don't you think?" he says, and Kurogane calms down. "Think about it – in the beginning, Syaoran never smiled. He seemed so depressed and pained." I remember that. The first time Syaoran really smiled at me, happily, was in Outo. And now he smiles all the time, for any reason. "And even though Sakura-chan was missing memories, she was always so anxious," Fai continues. That only changed in Outo as well. Before that, in Jade, she was always so nervous about the cursed princess and the children, and worrying that Syaoran might be in trouble. "Raki-chan used to think alone for hours, and now we can barely get her to shut up," he adds with a wink in my direction. I pout playfully and cross my arms. "Kuro-run's always mad, but he's still with us…" Fai concludes, letting the meaning of that sentence sink in.

"Huh?" the ninja grunts. Fai laughs softly.

"Even though there are bitter moments in our journey, there are happy moments as well," he says wistfully. "Looking at them now, the kids trying their best to smile, I feel that they've changed." Kurogane looks at him pensively.

"It seems that you have changed too," he comments. Fai turns to him, surprised.

"Eh…" But the ninja never explains his statement. I can only agree with him. We've all changed, and Fai's no exception to that. Although I don't quite understand all the ways he's changed, I feel it in my bones when I look at him, when we talk. Or maybe… it's that I've changed?

XxX

I look out the huge bay window to the city below, marveling in the beauty of Piffle at night. Up here in Tomoyo's zeppelin, the city seems to be part of another world. I walk back to find the others, sitting in a circle of chairs.

"Sorry Fai," I say in my most impassive voice, "but the server accidentally tripped on my foot and dropped all the Champaign overboard."

"Oh, that's all right," the mage replies joyfully, holding up a flute full of the golden liquid, "I was able to get some before that happened!" Still impassive, I slap the glass out of his hand and watch as the Champaign splashes on the floor.

"Oops," I say. Fai pouts playfully.

"Now tell me, what fun is a party without alcohol?" he whines.

"Aisha's so evil!" Mokona echoes.

"It's lots of fun," I reply, "if you don't spend it keeping your friends from acting like cats in public."

"But I won't act like a cat, I promise!" he whines again. "Outo country was different!"

"Yes, different!"

"It's true, he gulped down a pretty substantial amount in Shara and Yama," Kurogane says. I put my hands on my hips.

"Well, all I know is that last time you were drunk, Kuro-sama had to carry you upstairs like a potato sack, and then he slept on the couch because he didn't want to sleep in the same room as you," I say strongly. "And, I've told you, the server really did accidentally trip on my foot…" which was strategically placed in his trajectory. And the nearby window had been, by chance, opened by a young girl who needed fresh air…

"Awww, but then what shall we toast with?" Fai pouts.

"Why don't you do like Sakura and Syaoran?" I suggest, pointing the two kids. "They have nice, virgin cocktails."

"But without alcohol it's no fuuuuun!"

I shrug. "Suit yourself." A sharp ringing makes us all turn towards the front of the zeppelin, where Tomoyo is standing, a flute of Champaign in her hand. The chatter slowly dies down.

"Congratulations to you all," Tomoyo greets the contestants. "There were many accidents during today's race. I apologize for all the confusion and worries they caused to the contestants. I've prepared a small banquet – please don't hold yourselves back, and enjoy it. And so, cheers."

"Cheers!" we answer, lifting our glasses. Fai looks sadly down at his spilled Champaign. I pat him on the arm.

"You can always drink juice," I tell him, but he looks up with the devilish smile of someone who forgot to tell you something.

"Oh, that's all right," he says, then hiccups. "I've had a few glasses while you were taking care of the Champaign." I slap him upside the head. He laughs. "Owie! I'm not really drunk, you know," he informs me. I shrug.

"I know," I say. His lower lips starts trembling.

"And you still hit me? You're so evil!" he cries, burying his face in his arm. I pat his back mechanically.

"There, there," I say. "I'm sorry." Across from us, Sakura is cradling the scepter containing her feather against her chest, and looking worriedly at Kurogane, who has barely spoken since the end of the race.

"Is Kurogane-san's arm alright?" she finally asks nervously. The ninja looks to her, snapped out of his thoughts.

"Yeah…" he says. She turns to Fai.

"And what about Fai-san?"

"Totally fine," the mage tells her with a smile, sitting up like nothing happened. I sigh.

"And Aisha?"

"They're just bruises," I reassure her. "I barely feel them anymore." Kurogane stares at me.

"What about your other injury?" he asks gruffly. I smile.

"Still healing and painless," I answer. Sakura turns to Syaoran.

"And what about Syaoran-kun's wound?"

"It's alright," the boy says. Her expression grows doubtful.

"Really?," she asks, leaning towards him. "Not lying? Or holding it in?" The boy shakes his head, taken aback.

"I'm really okay," he assures her. We've all come up with minor wounds due to our various crashes, but the only one that was somewhat serious is Kurogane's, and the doctor assured us that it would be gone in a few days.

"Mokona didn't get hurt," the fur-ball brags.

"The white meat bun didn't do anything," Kurogane replies, taking a sip of his glass.

"Mokona was really active!" the fur-ball protests indignantly. While the ninja and Mokona argue, Sakura looks down to the feather in her arms and smiles softly, hugging it closer.

"Not opening it?" Syaoran asks curiously. She shakes her head.

"If I open it and get my feather back, I might fall asleep," she explains. "I want to thank Tomoyo-chan, but she seems so busy talking with the sponsors." She reaches for Syaoran and grabs his hand. "And I also want to say to everyone that I am very, very grateful! Moko-chan, Fai-san, Kurogane-san, Aisha and Syaoran-kun… because you were there, I was able to win." I can't help but smile back.

"It's a fair price for all those heart attacks you nearly gave us," I agree, nodding. Syaoran chuckles.

"Hime…" he starts, but a flower falls in front of Sakura's face. It's Nokoru, bowing politely like a perfect gentleman.

"Congratulations on your success," he says warmly, as Sakura takes the flower. "That beautiful award is perfect for the beautiful you." I stand up protectively when Shougo comes in behind him.

"I'm still surprised," Shougo admits with a laugh. "I didn't think she would win in the beginning."

"Are you insulting her driving skills?" I ask menacingly, crossing my arms in front of my chest. He backs away with his hands up in sign of peace.

"No, not at all," he says hurriedly. I smirk.

"I just might hold you up on that offer for a good brawl," I tell him, oblivious to the fact that he never offered me anything. He smiles.

"That would be assaulting a representative of the law," he informs me, joking, "I'm afraid I'd have to write you up for that."

"Don't push me," I warn. I may not want to hit him anymore, but I'm still not ready to laugh at his jokes.

"Did you find out who was cheating yet?" Syaoran asks. Shougo passes his hand through his hair.

"No, not yet," he admits sheepishly. Nokoru nods. Suddenly, Mokona starts to shake on Fai's shoulder and hold his ears in an attempt to block them.

"My ears hurt…" he says feebly, and I take him in my arms to cradle him.

"What's wrong?" Fai asks him.

"Something loud is squeaking…" the fur-ball says, then cringes. I hold my hands over his ears as the noise becomes louder and we come to hear it. Everyone is looking around to find the origin of the noise, and the zeppelin starts to shake. Then all goes silent for a moment, before the large bay window explodes.


	34. A Familiar Face

**DISCLAIMER: TRC IS NOT MINE!**

**Oh. My God. Have I written a short(er) chapter? Oh my god. This is practically a miracle! Anyways, don't start expecting this. I have a feeling this is only a random occurrence.**

**Enjoy! :)**

**XxX**

Shards of glass rain on us, and several screams shoot out from those closest to the window. I shield Mokona as Syaoran jumps in front of Sakura. By some miracle, none of us is badly hurt by the flying glass. I turn around to Sakura's shout.

"It shattered!" she exclaims in panic, looking down to the glass scepter caught between her and Syaoran. The compartment holding the feather has cracked, letting the light seep through into the room. Before any of us can identify the cause of the explosion, Tomoyo dashes forward and places herself between Sakura and the broken window. In her hand glistens a small, metallic object; I recognize the familiar shape of a gun.

"Tomoyo-chan!" Sakura calls as the scepter breaks, releasing the feather.

"Put the feather in Sakura-chan's body!" Tomoyo orders forcefully, turning back to us. A determined flame dances in her eyes. I glimpse a silhouette standing in front of the gaping hole left by the explosion of the window, and understand something: for some reason, Tomoyo knows about the feather, and whoever is standing there wants it for himself. This is no time for questions, only actions.

"Quick!" I say, reaching for Sakura's feather as it slowly escapes its glass prison. But the feather slips between my fingers.

"The feather!" Tomoyo repeats, turning back to point her gun towards the intruder. Her guards haven't had the time to react yet.

As one, we dive to catch the feather, but it's already floating towards the silhouette in the window. Kurogane nearly reaches it, but the zeppelin shakes once more and part of the ceiling crumbles in front of the ninja, cutting him off. We freeze in shock as the outstretched hand of the intruder closes around the glowing feather. I gasp as I recognize him.

"You!" I yell, shooting up to my feet, ready to tackle him to the ground if need be. Syaoran is right beside me. It's Kyle.

There's now no doubt in my mind that this Kyle and the doctor of Jade country are one; I feel it in my core. The thief smiles sardonically. Without a word, he backs away, clearly about to jump out the window. Just before he reaches his escape route, Mokona opens his mouth and I feel a strong wind carry the feather to us. Mokona swallows it with a satisfied glump.

"That's one of Mokona's super abilities!" the fur-ball declares. "Super suction!"

"Quick, Sakura!" Tomoyo says, as Mokona jumps from my arms to the princess. She looks at us with confused eyes.

"Wait…" she says as Mokona releases the feather, and it penetrates her chest. "To… mo… yo…chan…" And she falls to the floor, swiftly caught by Tomoyo, who smiles tenderly. At first Kyle seems angry, but his expression reverts to a mocking smile.

"Even in Jade country, that living thing was a hindering nuisance," he says, apparently resigned. Syaoran sucks in a breath of surprise.

"You are… Doctor Kyle!" he exclaims, taking a step forward. The doctor cocks his head to the side.

"You are not the only ones with the power to cross dimensions," he informs us disdainfully. "You may meet people with the same faces, but they are not the same people. But then, you can never be sure if they're the same people, can you?" he chuckles, then passes one leg over the ledge of the window. "Goodbye."

"Not so fast!" I yell, snatching the gun from Tomoyo's hands and running towards the doctor. But he disappears before I can shoot. I try to hit him as he falls through the air, but miss.

"Guards!" Tomoyo shouts, and soon a small battalion joins me in shooting the doctor. He vanishes through what seems to be a tear in the fabric of the world. Syaoran joins me and we stand there, looking down to where Kyle vanished, long after Tomoyo has called the guards back. Syaoran seems shocked and thoughtful. I'm just furious. How could I have not noticed it? How could we have let this happen? Surely there were signs, ways we could have seen through his disguise!

"Guards, land the balloon," I hear Tomoyo order. "It is the company's responsibility that all these people be driven home safely."

"Yes Ma'am!"

"He's probably in another dimension by now," I mutter. Syaoran nods.

"Yes, probably," he agrees. I feel someone approach us from behind and start. A shot rings through the clouds as my finger twitches on the trigger. Fai laughs nervously.

"He's gone, you know," he says, lowering my arm. "You can let go of the gun now." I look up to him.

"How could he still be alive?" I ask, my voice suddenly breaking. "We saw the castle collapse, and he was inside! How could we have let this happen?" Fai wraps an arm around my shoulders and squeezes me closer.

"I don't know," he admits. "But it's over now. He's gone." My hands close into tight fists.

"I should have shot him sooner," I say, looking down at the gun. Fai laughs.

"Some good that would have done. Those are just Stun Phasers, did you know that?" he tells me. I grimace and shift nervously from foot to foot. A hand lands on my head.

"You did what you could, kid. In the end, he didn't get the feather, that's what's important." It's Kurogane, who has addressed the message to both me and Syaoran. We nod conjointly, like docile children.

"Yes," the boy says, then shakes the heavy hand off of his head. I do the same, and then Fai steers me towards the centre of the room, where Tomoyo is still holding a sleeping Sakura.

"The race is over now," the mage tells the young girl. "How about you explain to us what really happened?" Tomoyo smiles softly, resigned.

"Yes," she answers. "But first, let's land and go somewhere private."

"You're welcome in our house anytime," Fai informs her. She chuckles.

"Your house then," she says. "Then I will tell you everything."

XxX

We sit around the table, Syaoran, Kurogane and I, staring at Tomoyo. Sakura has been carefully wrapped in a blanket and now rests on the couch. Fai is handing out hot drinks, but no one has touched theirs yet. We are waiting.

"The one who has tampered with the race," Tomoyo starts, "was me." Syaoran is the only one to react.

"You've tampered with the race?" he exclaims in stupor. She nods.

"Even in the preliminaries," Fai says, placing his tray on the table and sitting down himself.

"So you've figured it out," she says with a smile. Fai shrugs humbly, then points to Kurogane.

"Actually, it was more him," he answers. Kurogane pushes the mage away, irritated. Tomoyo now looks at him, interested. He grunts.

"Last time, you said it," he explains. "That whoever was responsible for it would surely be found out."

"Yes," she admits, nodding.

"You said these words with a lot of conviction," he adds. She chuckles sadly.

"You are very observant," Tomoyo says, "like she said." Kurogane perks up curiously at these words.

"Who?" he asks, almost aggressively. I admit that the number of people who know him and could have entered in contact with the Tomoyo in Piffle country is very small.

"Tomoyo-hime," the president answers innocently, but visibly amused at the idea of surprising Kurogane with that bit of information. The ninja shoots up from his seat.

"WHAT?" he yells. His face has turned red, with the same lost expression as when he met Souma in Outo. I can't help but laugh, and Tomoyo giggles, but soon her expression grows serious again as she speaks again.

"One year ago, the woman in charge of excavations in Piffle country found a powerful energy source in the shape of a feather," Tomoyo explains. "It was made of a substance that could absolutely not exist in Piffle world. Of course, the workers of my company tried to identify what the feather was, but they were unable to. That's when I met Tomoyo-hime." She smiles to Kurogane, who twitched when he heard his master's name. "I dreamed of this girl who looked exactly like me. Her clothes were completely different and she came from a country named Japan, but we shared the same name: Tomoyo. She told me that such feathers existed in other worlds as well, and that, in time, travelers would arrive in search of that feather." She smiles at us.

"But, how did you know it was us?" Syaoran asks curiously.

"This is Piffle Princess you're talking about!" a new voice cuts in. We turn around to find Shougo and Nokoru standing in our doorway.

"Sorry for intruding, but we felt we should add to the explanations," Shougo apologizes sheepishly as I glare in his direction.

"This young woman has more influence than the prime minister!" Nokoru continues, walking towards Tomoyo. "It didn't take long to find out who you were."

"What's a prime minister?" Fai asks.

"It's the most important person in the whole country!" Mokona answers joyfully. "Like the king in a monarchy!"

"Really?" As they continue, the attention turns back to Tomoyo.

"Why couldn't you just give Sakura the feather?" I ask. Nokoru shakes his head.

"Tomoyo-jou had the dream too late," he says. "By then, the discovery of the feather had already been broadcasted. Everyone knew about it."

"Everybody was very interested in the power of the feather," Shougo continues, "and other countries were looking at that as well. Simply giving up the feather to anyone was not something the Piffle Princess corporation could do anymore."

"Tomoyo-hime told me that there are people who want those feathers, and that they exist in each and every world," Tomoyo says sadly.

"So, that's when I had an idea," Nokoru concludes with a smile. "Why didn't we make the feather the prize for the dragonfly race?"

"That way, if anyone else wanted the feather, we could point them out and arrest them if things went smoothly," Shougo adds.

"And of course, all of you would enter the race," Tomoyo concludes with a smug smile. "Especially Kurogane. Tomoyo-hime said so."

"Awww, you're so predictable!" I croon teasingly. Kurogane's ears turn red.

"However," Shougo continues, "it was important to have you on your guard, and to warn you to look out." Syaoran seems to understand.

"So you made up an excuse to tell us that someone had tampered with the race," he finishes for him. Shougo collapses on the table, discouraged.

"Our acting has been figured out!" he cries. "Even though nobody else suspected a thing when we told them! And on top of that, just after I talked to you I remembered I had a date with Primera-chan, and it made me late and she was so, so angry!"

"Just give her some chocolates," I tell him, annoyed. "She loves it when you do that." He looks up, surprised.

"Do you know her?" he asks. I wave him away.

"No, but I'm a girl, aren't I? Don't we all like the same things?" Actually I read it in one of Hinata's fan magazines, but I'm not about to tell him that. It would be weird.

Nokoru seems profoundly disappointed in his colleague. "To think that you failed to honour an appointment with a girl!" he proclaims dramatically. "My heart is so heavy with guilt for you that I feel it will wither." I lift my eyebrows skeptically as both men wallow in their broken hearts. Tomoyo seems to share my sentiments.

"Oh dear…" she sighs, although the small grin on her face betrays her amusement. Fai cocks his head thoughtfully.

"So that's why you were always flying close to Sakura-chan," he chips in. "It was to keep her safe, wasn't it?" Tomoyo smiles and nods.

"You've figured it all out already, haven't you?" she asks, but he shrugs.

"Not everything," he admits. "But if you just wanted to film her, you wouldn't have had to be that close." He turns towards Shougo and Nokoru. "And you two were always flying pretty close to us as well," he notices. They both look up and smile awkwardly.

"That was by my orders," Tomoyo explains. "I wanted to prevent any serious accidents."

"Yeah, now that I think about it," I say, pointing at Shougo, "you were always flying close to Kyle too, even before you caught up to us. Was that a coincidence?" Shougo shrugs.

"When you mentioned him and said you hated him, I assumed it might have something to do with the search for the feather. We couldn't find anything incriminating against him, but I decided to keep an eye on him nonetheless," he explains. I nod thoughtfully. I will not thank him, I won't…

"Now, what do we say?" Fai chirps like an oddly joyful scolding mother. I grit my teeth and shake my head. The mage pats my head. "Come on, be polite," he admonishes lightly. I cross my arms and scowl. My face is probably red by now.

"Thanks," I finally spit out, scowling. Fai laughs, as Shougo stares at me like a third eye just popped on my forehead. "Happy?" I growl, turning to the mage.

"Um… no problem," Shougo answers tentatively, running a hand through his hair. I glare at him.

"Don't start expecting this," I warn. Shougo nods hurriedly.

"Okay," he says. All eyes are riveted on us, with expressions going from amusement to worry. Even Tomoyo smiles, although she probably wasn't aware of how our previous encounter went.

"I'm glad everything turned out well," she says, but then her features turn grave again. "Even so, the fact that people thought they really were in danger, and the fact that some people got hurt… that was my fault." She rises from her seat and looks down sadly. "I'm so sorry." Before any of us can react or tell her not to worry about it, we hear some stirring behind us.

"Tomoyo-chan…" Sakura's voice calls meekly. As one, we turn to the princess, who's lifting a tired head from under her blanket. Tomoyo runs to the couch with a smile and takes Sakura's hand in hers.

"What is it?" she asks gently. Sakura's lids are heavy, and she looks like she will fall asleep at any moment, but her eyes are worried.

"I want to ask you something," she says.

"Anything," Tomoyo tells her.

"Did Tomoyo-chan arrange the race so we would win?"

"No," Tomoyo reassures her. "I did tamper with the race, but in the end, I believed you would win." Sakura smiles softly as her eyes start to close.

"I'm glad," she says, and lets her head fall back. Tomoyo brushes the girl's bangs away from her face. I understand Sakura's worries; she thought she had won a race, a contest. She was proud of herself, no matter how humble she may seem. She's always so eager to help, so sad that she can't do more. For once, she achieved something on her own. And then she learns that the plan was set for her to win since the beginning. How can she not doubt herself, her own merits? And, even if Tomoyo really did arrange for Sakura's victory, I'm glad she told her otherwise. If someone destroyed Sakura's happiness like that…

"Well," Fai starts, stretching eagerly, "since the party on Tomoyo-chan's balloon was so abruptly interrupted… let's have a party here!"

"No," I answer coldly, arms crossed and hips cocked. But everybody seems intent on contradicting me.

"That's not a bad idea," Nokoru says thoughtfully, pulling out a cell phone.

"Not bad at all," Shougo echoes, doing the same. Soon, they are lost in a frenzy of conversations, ordering food and drinks, and inviting what sounds like half of the city. I march towards them.

"Sorry to break it down to you…" I start, reaching for their phones, but Fai stops me.

"And because this is Sakura-chan's first victory, how about we lift the ban on alcohol?" he suggests innocently.

"No!" I protest, reaching for Nokoru who has just uttered the word 'sake,' but Fai swiftly grabs me from behind.

"Quick! While she can't stop you!" he calls, laughing.

"NO! Don't you dare order alcohol!" I warn, struggling against Fai's arms around my waist. Everybody ignores me.

"Just get all the team here…" I hear Shougo say in his phone.

"Yes, we're going to need a lot of food, some drinks as well…" Nokoru nods, pacing.

"Ummm…." Syaoran intervenes timidly, "what about Sakura-hime?" Mokona jumps up and down excitedly.

"Of course, when Sakura wakes up she'll have to drink lots and lots of alcohol!" he declares.

"Of course!" Fai agrees. I look to Kurogane for help. The ninja returns my gaze for a few moments, then shrugs and walks away.

"Just get good sake," he orders, clearly signifying that this is no longer his problem.

"Kuro-sama!" I call, thrashing madly to get Fai to let go of me. "You can't leave me alone like this! You're the only other person with some common sense in this house!" Kurogane waves distractedly and doesn't turn around. Fai laughs, lifting me off the ground. I yelp.

"Let's party!" he concludes.

"Syaoran-kun! Help me!"

XxX

I never should have agreed to this. Okay, so I never did agree to this - but it did happen on its own. And I have the feeling we'll all get to pay for it later.

Alcohol is flowing freely tonight. Shougo's gang has been invited, and has almost immediately proceeded to drown themselves in sake, all the while singing a rather irritating song. Nokoru's black-clad friends are here as well, and though they're enjoying their drinks more moderately, don't seem to plan on stopping anytime soon. Even the guys from the catering service have been invited. Tomoyo-chan is sitting on the couch, Sakura's head in her lap, holding up a glass and her cheeks an unnatural shade of pink. Her bodyguards don't seem any more sober. Primera-chan is at the table, informing Fai and Mokona of Shougo's many shortcomings as a boyfriend, to all of which they nod and agree vehemently. The one in question is sitting between them, holding his head in his hand in embarrassment. They all have drinks in hand. Fai lets escape a meow here and there - but I suspect it's only to annoy me. As for Kurogane, he's taken his bottle outside. I haven't followed him, because I sense he wants some privacy. After all, hearing of Tomoyo-hime after all this time, he probably wants to think. I think once again about his true relationship to his master; is it…? But I know it's not my place to pry. And I also know that love can be found in many shapes, not all of them romantic.

I stumble upon Syaoran, slicing the air with his gloves, pretending he's holding Hien. I push his arms aside before they slap me.

"Am I improving, Aisha-chan?" he asks excitedly, eyes shining and cheeks red. I sigh.

"I'm sure you are, but I'm not really the person to ask," I say, then spot Nokoru behind him, holding up a camera and smiling. I march up to him and snatch the camera away. "Don't film him!" I hiss indignantly. Nokoru laughs. He's a bit drunk too, I can tell.

"I'm sorry if I offended you," he says nonetheless, bowing. I hold up the camera.

"And what were you planning on doing with this tape?" I ask hotly. Nokoru studies me, then smiles kindly.

"Are you truly his older sister?" he asks, in reference to Fai's inane story about us being related. I shake my head.

"No. And this is totally off-topic," I reply.

"May I say that if Kurogane-san is the father, you must be the mother, am I right?" he says, pulling out a flower – how many of those does he carry around? – and handing it to me. My eyes widen a little in surprise, and then I chuckle.

"I'm not the mother," I say. I've never thought of it this way, especially because it implied having me and Kurogane as a couple – which is even worst than being called his daughter, and horribly inaccurate. Nokoru leans towards me a little, teasing.

"Ah, Mommy's having an affair then?" he asks. My face turns red.

"Wha…?"

"If he ever fails to keep his appointments with you, you will remember me, won't you?" he asks again, and I blush harder.

"Who are you…?" I stutter, confused. Nokoru laughs, but it is not a mean laugh; it is the same way Fai laughs when he's about to tell me I'm cute.

"I'm sorry, but you really are lovely when you blush," he says gently. "I just had to tease you." I look down, then back up and snatch the flower away from his hand angrily.

"I'm not lovely," I hiss, storming away, "or cute!" Fai perks up at my voice.

"Meow? Are we talking about Raki-birdy-chan?"

"Shut up, Cat-boy!"

XxX

The living room looks like a battlefield; bottles and glasses are strewn everywhere like discarded weapons, bodies clutter the floor and furniture, and a low moaning can be heard over the sound of early morning in Piffle. Innocently bathing in the sunlight, sleeping peacefully like a ray of hope in the midst of battle, is Sakura.

"I'm not cleaning this up," I declare, although both Kurogane and I know that I've already done most of it. It used to me much worst. The ninja shrugs and precedes me into the kitchen.

"Are you going to wake them up?" he asks as I take out the coffeemaker. I shake my head.

"No, they can wake up on their own. Although I wouldn't mind a bucket of water to thrown in Fai's face."

"What are you doing?"

"Coffee. Say what you want, they'll be majorly hungover when they wake up. You want some?" I ask, but I already know the answer. When does Kuro-sama reject coffee?

He grunts. "Black," he says. I turn to him.

"Tsk tsk, what do you say? What's the magic word?" I scold lightly, teasing. He glares down at me.

"Black," he repeats, making me laugh. I turn back to the machine.

"Yes of course, for you the magic word is 'black'," I deplore playfully. "Go get the beans, will you?" The bag is thrust in my direction, and I catch it. "Thanks." I turn again to continue the conversation, but Kurogane's disappeared. I sigh. I don't think I'll ever get used to his habit of moving around soundlessly.

I get to work, making cup after cup of strong, black coffee. Just when I think I've done enough, I hear Sakura's shriek from the living room, and chuckle. I guess she woke up.

"Syaoran-kun! Syaoran-kun, what happened?" I hear her cry. By the time I step into the brightly lit room to reassure her, she is shaking Syaoran's poor, limp body frantically, in an attempt to learn the truth of what must have happened. I can't help but laugh. "Did you get hurt? Who would do such a cruel thing?"

"Sakura, it's okay…" I start, approaching them, when Fai pull himself to a sitting position in front of me.

"It's said you reap what you sow…" he says tiredly, chuckling. On his face is pasted a dumb smile. Only then does Sakura seem to notice the bottles on the floor, and the lingering smell of alcohol in the air. She looks to me.

"Eh?" she asks, as if it were the only word her mind could process. I nod.

"Yup," I say. "They all drank."

"Way too much, if you ask me," Kurogane adds angrily, appearing behind me. Sakura still seems disoriented and confused, and drops Syaoran on the floor. The poor boy groans, but doesn't have enough energy to do much else. I look to the ninja curiously, wondering where he's been. Instead of an answer, he hands me a large bucket full of cool water. I grab it, a smirk on my face.

"Fai-san…" I say, modeling my voice to sound as innocent as possible.

"Mhm?" the mage answers, looking up as though still in a daze. I throw the water in his face, soaking him through and splashing everyone behind him. Fai blinks slowly, shocked. I straighten up with a satisfied grin.

"There," I say. "It is true that you reap what you sow." There's a few moments of silence, and then Fai's lower lip starts trembling and his eyes grow wide.

"You're so cruel!" he cries. I'm about to comment when he points a finger towards something behind me. "Kuro-sama! You're so mean!"

"Me? What the hell are you talking about?"

"How could you manipulate poor, innocent Strawberry-chan into torturing me? What a cruel father!"

"Cruel, cruel," Mokona echoes. I laugh, patting Kurogane on the arm.

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to let you take the blame for that one," I inform him. Then I turn to Fai. "Sorry, but you have to get up and help me. Why? Because I said so. Hurry up!" Fai gets up slowly and follows me as I walk into the kitchen.

"What a cruel father you have, Raki-chan!" he whines. I sigh playfully and shove a platter full of coffee mugs in his direction.

"Just go give those," I order. "And it woke you up, didn't it?" I grab the second plate and precede him to the living room. I meet Sakura on the way out.

"I… um… do you think they'll be thirsty?" she asks worriedly, looking over her shoulder to the groaning crowd. I shake my head, laughing.

"With what they drank last night, I don't think so," I answer, "but their throats will be dry. Something a little more refreshing than coffee might be a good idea. You want to take care of that?" She nods hurriedly.

"Okay, I will!" she says. "I… Will Syaoran-kun be alright?"

"He'll be fine," I sigh. "I wish you would have woken up to a more… distinguished sight." Sakura shakes her head.

"Oh no, it's fine. I just… I didn't know there was a party going on, and then I saw Syaoran…"

"And the living room looked like a battlefield, I know," I conclude, clucking hopelessly. At least the partygoers got to get some sleep last night, though I don't think they'll feel too rested; Kurogane and I didn't sleep at all, because I had to clean up, and he watched me and gave me a hand once in a while. I'm a little jealous, actually.

"All right, off you go, I have some coffee to give out," I tell her with a smile. She hurries into the kitchen, muttering about the kind of drink she should make. I proceed to the living room, pushing coffee mugs into shaking hands, sometimes forcefully. Most of them are ready for any solace, though, so I don't have to force them very often. Fai's helping me at first, but after a few minutes I lose sight of him. At first I think he's scouting the house for anyone who hasn't passed out in the living room, and I call to tell him it's no use – I've already checked – but I get no answer. Later I resign myself to the fact that he's deserted me. Bastard.

"Here you go, drink this," I tell the youngest member of Shougo's gang, that kid that I didn't recognize. "It helps with the hangover." Doing this, I feel the way I do when I'm helping my mom after a particularly bad night. Sometimes it was so bad she needed to call her work and get the morning off, because she couldn't even step out of her room. Her hands would shake so much she couldn't hold the mug and I had to pour the coffee down her throat. It was the one time she would let me have complete control over her. I felt like the mother.

"Okay, take this," I offer Nokoru's friend, the one with the black hair – what's his name again? Akira? – before I feel the cold water drenching me like a torrential rain. I freeze, surprised. Droplets drip from my eyelashes, and my bangs stick to my forehead as I blink, slowly. I hear Fai's laughter behind me, and suddenly regain my senses. I turn swiftly to see him still holding up the same bucket I used to splash him, laughing his head off.

"I don't really want to be mean and say something," he says. Now we're both soaked through, and everyone in the room who can manage to open their eyes is staring at us. To my own surprise, I start laughing as well.

"Just remember that payback is sweet, Fai!" I roar pleasantly, using my now-empty tray to threaten him. He doesn't wait for me to use it; next thing I know, I am chasing him up and down the room, laughing and tripping over everyone. They all stare at us. We only stop once in the kitchen, partly because I've managed to corner him between the counter and the oven, and partly because my right leg is in pain. I don't think running was such a good idea. Sakura and Tomoyo, who has joined her, are looking at us with puzzled interest. They seem to be making lemonade.

I push back the hair from my eyes with a satisfied sigh.

"That was fun," I admit. Fai smiles.

"Does that mean you won't hit me?" he asks tentatively. I pretend to think about it.

"Well…" I pause, looking up thoughtfully. "I guess I could always save it for later…" But I stop; my leg _really_ hurts. With a defeated sigh, I pull myself to the counter in a sitting position.

"Is it your leg?" Sakura asks worriedly. I nod.

"I just need to rest a little," I reassure her. Fai comes closer to me.

"Do you need help walking back?" he says, offering me his hand. I shake my head and slide down the counter.

"I'll be fine," I say, smiling. "Just don't tell Kuro-puu I was running." That's when I hear someone clear his throat behind us. I turn around apprehensively. "Kuro-sama!" I exclaim sheepishly. "We were just talking about you!" But the ninja's glare is inflexible. I sigh, resigned. "If I hit Fai, will it make it better?" I ask. Kurogane doesn't answer, but lifts an eyebrow as though considering the option. I smile hopefully as Fai cringes beside me.

"Please, have mercy!" he begs. I playfully punch him on the shoulder.

"There," I say, "it's all settled, goodbye now!" I march out of the kitchen, not waiting for Kurogane's scolding. I know I'll hear it eventually, but now I still have a house full of recovering drunks to run.

"Wake up!" I order, nudging Shougo's limp body with my foot. My only answer is a grunt. I nudge him harder, making it a soft quick. "It's your fault for drinking," I remind him. "Up!" Sakura and Tomoyo walk out of the kitchen with two plates full of lemonade. I take one graciously, and continue poking Shougo awake. Primera-chan, asleep on top of him, doesn't even budge. Finally, he lifts his head up with a disgruntled moan. His hand comes hurriedly to protect his eyes from the sunlight.

"Wha…?" he says when he looks up at me. "What happened to you? You're soaked."

"I know I am," I say harshly, "and if you don't want to end up like me, wake up your little girlfriend and get off the floor. And take this, it's a refreshment," I add, handing him two glasses of lemonade. I continue my rounds, handing people drinks and confiscating the remaining bottles of sake. Sakura and Tomoyo have disappeared; Fai now holds the second plate of juice and is helping me passing them around. Kurogane is simply supervising the efforts, as usual.

I hear the sound of an aircraft land in front of the house. Before I can catch a glimpse of it through the window, one of Tomoyo's bodyguards bursts through the door, offering us a military salute.

"Excuse me, I'm from the Piffle Princess Company," she says. Her eyes don't linger on the odd scene at her feet or at her recovering colleagues. "Sorry for disturbing you, but our company's president has requested this." On cue, two men enter the house, carrying a large pink box. It looks pretty heavy.

"Tomoyo-chan is in Sakura's room, upstairs," Fai greets her with a smile. So that's where they went. "Please go ahead." I see Kurogane pluck a sake bottle from Fai's fingers, and my eyes widen. I glare at the wizard.

"Traitor," I mouth, and Fai shrugs sheepishly. As the men and Tomoyo's bodyguard hobble to the stairs, doing their best to avoid stepping on people, I start shooing those who can walk outside. This should give us more room to maneuver. I grab Mokona in midair, saving Syaoran from the fur-ball dancing on his head. The boy is too dizzy to look up at me.

"Hey," I say gently, kneeling next to him. "Are you okay?" He nods slowly, as though simply that caused too much pain to handle, and painfully takes a sip of Sakura's lemonade. "Do you want to come outside? Some fresh air would do you some good." He shakes his head. Of course not. Any kind of light hurts right now. I tenderly push the bangs away from his eyes. "Here, come with me. You can close your eyes if you want, but trust me. It'll help." I don't understand why people like to enclose themselves in a dark room when they have a headache. With me it's all the opposite: nothing cures me like light and fresh air.

I gently lead Syaoran out the door and sit him on the steps. "Better now?" He nods, almost imperceptibly, then groans a thank-you. I smile. "That's why you shouldn't drink," I admonish lightly. "If you need anything, you just have to ask, okay? I won't be far." He nods. When I walk back inside, I find that Shougo's gone back to sleep on the floor. I kick him awake, this time without any pity.

"Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty!" I announce as loud as I dare. This time, it's Primera-chan's head that shoots up, and she looks at me with dazed eyes.

"Shougo…" she says feebly, shaking her boyfriend, "Shougo, I think she wants us to get up…" He simply presses her closer to him and remains obstinately asleep. I give up with a frustrated sigh.

Not long afterwards, I find Kurogane drinking from the same bottle he previously confiscated from Fai. Without a word, I rip it away from him. His indignant gaze goes up to me.

"There won't be any more alcohol in this house," I say in a tone that allows no reply. He grunts and turns away. With a tired sigh, I let myself fall next to him. "Are you okay?" I ask softly. At first I don't think he's heard me, but then his voice reaches my ears.

"Why do you ask?" I know this means he isn't. Kurogane doesn't lie outright, but he has no problem changing the subject if it doesn't suit him.

"Are you thinking about Tomoyo-hime?" I ask, putting a comforting hand on his arm. He shrugs.

"Yes," he admits. "That Tomoyo-chan told me last night that she seemed all right, in her dream. She didn't seem hurt." I nod.

"You know, she probably doesn't need you to protect her all the time," I say softly. "She'll be fine without you for a while. It's not like she's alone, right?" The ninja sends me a sideways glance.

"I could say the same about the people you left behind," he counters. "Would that make you worry less about them?" I don't answer that one. Instead, my hand clutches his arm warmly.

"Good luck getting back to her," I tell him, then stand up. "I know you won't give up until it happens." As I'm about to leave, I feel a hand on my wrist. I look back, surprised.

"Good luck to you, too," Kurogane simply says, his eyes sincere, then lets me go. I smile sadly.

"Hey! What the hell?" I turn hurriedly to the voice. The moment is broken. But as I help break up the fight – a member of Shougo's gang accidentally got kicked in the face by a stiletto-clad bodyguard – my eyes fall back on Kurogane's lone form, and I smile. The moment is gone, but it existed. In the end, I guess we can always find reassurance in each other, knowing that we share the same wish and the same heartaches.

I force some more people out the door, then sit down there myself. Half of the house's occupants are outside now, slowly sobering up. Many partygoers clutch their lemonades and coffee like they hold the salvation of their souls.I tilt my head back, opening my face to the sky. The sun is high, almost at its summit. I think I'm working pretty well on the amount of sleep I've had, which was about seven hours – forty-eight hours ago. Sakura and Tomoyo still haven't appeared, and I wonder what was it that box that Tomoyo ordered. I hope it's not anything dangerous, or potentially explosive – I trust Sakura, but you never know with Tomoyo. After all, she did have the imagination to tamper with the race, so maybe her mind is a little bit more twisted than she lets on. But I have to trust Sakura. Yes. Sakura I can trust…

Fai joins me outside, bringing along a group of latecomers, Shougo and Primera-chan among them. Primera looks in worse shape than her boyfriend.

"Ah, finally regained consciousness," Shougo sighs in relief, holding Primera-chan upright. I glare at him.

"Yes, finally," I say, venom in my voice. "You're lucky I didn't try harder to wake you up. I could have been cruel." Shougo must have gotten used to my animosity, because he barely seems to register it.

"Mhm, the sun's too bright," he complains. I stand up.

"And while we're at it, you had no business bringing a kid to a drinking party!" I add, pointing to the youngest member of his gang. Shougo shrugs.

"He's part of the team," is his excuse. I'm about to reply vehemently when Nokoru interrupts me.

"I wonder what Tomoyo-jou and Sakura-san are doing?" he asks Syaoran, loudly enough to make sure I hear him, probably sensing my lack of sleep and impatience. I'm glad to see that Syaoran seems a lot more awake then he did when I previously left him. He smiles are me when I turn his way, and I answer with a grin. I'm pretty sure everyone is outside now, as even Kurogane has joined us under the sun.

"IT'S DONE!" The scream of triumph resonates from Sakura's room, upstairs. We all look up, several people groaning at the loud noise. We hear the sound of Sakura's hurried footsteps down the stairs before she bursts outside with a bright smile, holding a bundle of dark fabric in her arms. Tomoyo is right behind her.

"It's done," she repeats, more softly but just as joyfully. Before any of us can ask what the bundle is, she turns to Mokona. "Moko-chan, can I speak with the Witch-san?"

"Yup!" the fur-ball answers, atop Syaoran's head. The usual ray of light erupts from the jewel on his head. Seeing this, the entire crowd bursts in exclamations of wonder. I hear them muttering about holograms and robots, and smirk. They don't know how far they are from the truth.

Yuuko is doing her hair when she greets us. Her hands poised to the back of her head, she turns to see us with a little smirk.

"Oh. Mokona," she says. The fur-ball jumps up and down excitedly.

"Are you about to go out?" he asks.

"In a moment," she says, and I finally feel that we have all her attention. "What's up?"

"Sakura wants to talk to you." The princess approaches the witch's image, holding her bundle up proudly.

"I'm done making your present!" she announces. I slap my forehead. Has this girl learned nothing from out attitude towards the witch?

"You made it?" Yuuko seems happily surprised. Sakura finally unravels the bundle with Tomoyo's help, and together they hold up the witch's gift: a long, elegant black coat and a scarf.

"Tomoyo-chan helped me!" Sakura admits, but that fact doesn't seem to dampen her pride and joy one bit. "She got the people from her company to bring us a machine that can sew clothes."

"It's called a sowing machine," Tomoyo explains. I sigh. Well, at least now we know what they brought upstairs wasn't dangerous. And, I guess if it can erase our White day debt with minimal effort on my part, I can accept Sakura's gesture. As long as I don't have a hand in it, I can live with myself.

Mokona's eyes shoot wide open, and a whirlwind escapes his mouth. The coat vanishes from Sakura's arms. It appears in Yuuko's grasp moments later.

"Thank you," the witch says, appraising her gift. "I'll certainly take it." Her gaze turns to the rest of us, and she smiles devilishly. "As Sakura-hime's expression of gratitude _only_," she adds with a little chuckle. It's as though a weight falls on both me and Kurogane.

"What?" I yell. "You're asking for way past equal value!" She looks down at me with amused eyes.

"Ah, but you must not forget the added charge of interests!" she replies. I groan. The witch turns back to Sakura. "So I'll deduct the value of these lovely clothes from the charge value of your own," she says, "but if you don't need them anymore, please say so." Then she looks at the rest of us again, with a scolding finger raised in our direction. "But I won't forget that four people didn't thank me for the chocolate fondants," she concludes ominously before her image disappears. I want to kill someone. If I have to pay her back for my wallet – which she stole, should I remind her – as well as repay the chocolate fondants – all of them, not the one that I ate – I'll burst. I have pride, you know.

"As expected from Yuuko," Mokona sighs happily, singing.

"I won't thank her!" Kurogane growls between clenched teeth. Fai laughs.

"Oh, what I should give…" he muses before receiving my hand upside his head. I glare at him. Syaoran looks thoughtfully to the ground.

"I should think too…" he mumbles, and my glare turns to him. I shake my had hopelessly.

"Forget it," I dismiss the idea altogether. "She won't get anything from me."

I feel Mokona's magic rise before the circle appears and the wind starts, so when it happens I expect it. Large wings shoot out from Mokona's back and he floats up in the air.

"Going to another world?" Fai calls over the sound of the wind.

"Yup!" Mokona answers joyfully. Syaoran looks frantically from the fur-ball to the house.

"We're just leaving it here?" he mutters. I pat his arm.

"Don't worry, Hien is safe, remember?" I remind him, glancing at Mokona. He nods.

"Right." I'm quite proud of my plan to protect our weapons from being left behind, and I've given it to Syaoran and Kurogane as well. Not only will we not forget them anywhere, but we won't have to leave them behind in situations where they cannot be hidden. Now we won't be going without protection, should we need it.

"Thank you!" Sakura calls back, waving at Tomoyo-chan. I wave too, even smiling at Shougo, just this once. Everyone other than Tomoyo, Shougo and Nokoru seem flabbergasted at Mokona's transformation. I'm guessing they knew we came from another world, and expected us to return to such.

The wind picks up, and we are lifted off the ground. Before we can get too high, Sakura turns to Tomoyo.

"We'll meet again, right?" she asks, a bit of worry piercing through her voice. I understand her feelings. But Tomoyo is completely reassuring as she takes the princess's hands in her own.

"Yes," she says surely. "In this country, there is no device to cross dimensions with, but I'll see to it that my company creates it without fail. That's why we will definitely meet again." Finally, their hands separate, but the two girls still smile at each other.

I feel idle as I watch the others say their goodbyes. I'm not leaving anyone in this world, and somehow that idea makes me both relieved and sad. It's a strange feeling to know you leave a place without leaving a part of you there, something to return to should you want to. But there is nothing left for me here.

All the others have mostly disappeared, but Kurogane stays immobile, the wind swerving around him. I force myself to stay here a few more seconds, to see what is happening. It is clear that it is his will that keeps him intact while the rest of us are being swept away. I want to know why he wants to stay. Finally, he sends Tomoyo a sideways glance.

"If, in a dream, you meet Tomoyo-hime again… tell her that I will come back no matter what," he says determinedly. The other Tomoyo smiles.

"I will," she says. Then the ninja closes his eyes and the wind swallows him all at once, as though it had been growing impatient. I smile and let myself be carried away to the new place we will explore.

When the darkness recedes and we shoot out of Mokona's mouth, I scream. As usual. I land on something hard yet surprisingly soft, and lift my head up to see what this new world holds.

From what I can see, flowers.


	35. Country of Memories

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own TRC, yadda yadda yadda… I think you get the point.**

**Eep! Recort! Books everywhere! It hit me as I was writing this chapter, but **_**I want that library. **_**o.O All the books! I'm totally jealous of Syaoran. I want to visit worlds with huge libraries too!**

**Insane bookworm fantasies aside, a couple of things happen in this chapter (which is the whole point of a narrative text, if you ask me.) To know what they are, you will have to read on…**

**Oh, P.S. Anonymous reviewer (you didn't write any name, sorry) yes, there are quite a bit of pictures of Aisha lying around my desk. None of them are on the Internet, however, and I don't know how put them on (I'm desperately technologically-challenged, lol) and they're not very good either. So I don't think I want to.**

**XxX**

My nose is only an inch away from a bright yellow blossom and for a moment I stare at it, fascinated. This flower is unlike anything I have ever seen before. The petals shine like silk, and the delicate stem flows in the wind. I touch it gently, in wonder. I haven't seen real flowers in so long, not since Shura. Piffle was too artificial to host something like flowers. Even Nokoru's flowers didn't feel organic at all.

I jump, realizing that I've landed on a disgruntled Kurogane. Mumbling an excuse I stand up, helping Sakura to her feet. Looking around, I see that we have landed in a park, full of evergreens and lush flowerbeds. A winding stone path passes not far from us, and I see a bench nearby.

"I wonder what this country will be like," Fai says, looking around with me. I don't see anybody around. It seems to be early afternoon, maybe lunchtime, which would explain why nobody is walking the grounds.

"Syaoran-kun!" Sakura exclaims in alarm, and I turn to the direction the princess is looking towards. Syaoran is lying on the ground, fast asleep. I kneel down next to him. Kurogane looms over us protectively.

"He's alright," I reassure Sakura. "He's just asleep. He didn't sleep much last night." The princess nods slowly, eyeing the boy. "Here, help me carry him to that bench," I offer. Before we can lift him, Kurogane swoops down and pulls the boy over his shoulder. He lays him on the bench, carefully but more roughly than I would have. Sakura sits down on the grass next to the bench, and doesn't seem to want to move. She looks a little sullen somehow, as though leaving Tomoyo was hard for her. It probably was.

"Shall we explore this new place then?" Fai asks, joining us. I nod, but send Syaoran a worried glance.

"We can't leave him alone, though," I object. Fai seems to think for a moment.

"Well, Sakura-chan can watch over Syaoran-kun until he wakes up, and Kuro-sama, Little-birdy-chan and I can go look around," he offers. We all turn to Sakura, who nods.

"I'll make sure nothing happens to Syaoran-kun," she declares determinedly, which makes me want to laugh. Instead I smile and pat her on the head.

"You two be nice until we come back, okay?" I caution. "We'll try to find out what we can about this country." We look at each other for a moment, clearly debating who will leave first, until Kurogane starts marching along the stone path. Mokona bounces after him.

"Mokona is coming!" he chirps.

"We'll be back," the ninja calls to the kids, and Fai and I follow him. I'm torn between my curiosity for this new country and my need to stay with Syaoran and Sakura and insure their safety.

"They'll be fine on their own," Fai says, sending me a sideways glance. "Don't worry." I nod, ignoring the fact that I've never shared my worries with him. I think my anxieties are pretty obvious when it comes to the kids' welfare.

"Kuro-sama, wait up!" I call, running to catch up to the ninja's feline gate. He doesn't slow down, but eyes me curiously when I pull up beside him. "How are we going to stay together if we go somewhere crowded?" I scold him. He shrugs, but doesn't answer, as though it wasn't his problem. I sigh, irritated.

We finally pass by a young couple, arms intertwined, visibly enjoying a romantic stroll through the park. Mokona quickly hides in my jacket before they see him. Our gazes lock, each of us observing the others' strange clothing: the woman wears a long, billowing dress, although not quite as long as the ones in Jade, and the man is dressed in a waistcoat and trousers. The woman giggles softly at our outfits, and I frown. I don't have the patience for judging eyes today. Maybe I should have stayed with the kids; I have a feeling that I might end up causing a scene on the street if people keep pointing. But we pass the couple soon enough, although Fai keeps eyeing them curiously as they walk away. I nudge him in the ribs.

"What are you looking at?" I ask, and he shakes his head.

"Nothing," he answers with a smile, but then he looks at me thoughtfully. I cock my head to the side, puzzled, and he laughs softly. "I was just thinking of the clothes here," he says. I shake my head and grunt.

"I'm going to have to wear a dress again," I complain. "And was it just me, or did she look like she was wearing a corset?"

"The clothes look a bit like those in Jade country, don't they?" Fai admits. I sigh.

"I didn't like the clothes in Jade country," I remind him. He shrugs.

"I'm sure we'll find something in this country that you will like," he assures me. I pout, unconvinced. Although the park is beautiful, I think. I love the flowers.

We finally find a gate that separates the park from the rest of the city where it lays. Before stepping outside, I stop and gap and the square in front of us. The tall stone buildings stand in disparate order and style, and in the sky looms a large clock tower, as well as huge balloons representing the sun and planets. In the center of the square stands the statue of an angel, and around it hurry men with pocket watches and top hats and ladies with large skirts and delicate sunshades. Small silhouettes carve themselves in the sky, held up by everything from helium balloons to an assortment of birds. But that's not what I'm staring at.

"Oh, god," I whisper. "Does that horse have butterfly wings?" Fai laughs, confirming that the horse pulling the carriage in front of us does, in fact, have the wings of a butterfly sprouting from his back. I'm so surprised that I could probably stay here and stare for hours, but Kurogane does not wait for us, and Fai has to pull me out of my bewilderment. We follow the ninja as he crosses the square diagonally. Mokona perches himself on my shoulder, visibly adoring the fact that he can come out without arousing suspicion. But more surprising than the winged horses is the presence of magic in this place; it swirls in the air, saturates the walls, inhabits every living creature we pass by.

"Do you feel the feather, Mokona?" I ask, although through all these vibrations I doubt he can. The fur-ball shakes negatively.

"Mokona can't be sure, because of all the strong magic around here," he says. I shrug. It can't be helped. But at least if this is a magic country, we may find help in locating the feather. They may even know what it is, and be ready to give it to us. A little wishful thinking never hurt anyone.

When we arrive to the center of the square, Kurogane finally stops and turns to us. "Okay, so where do we go first?" he asks, showing us the large amount of shops and streets we could go into. I think for a moment.

"Let's buy some clothes first," I suggest. "This way, we can go around without arousing too much suspicion. And we'll need them eventually anyways." Kurogane nods, but then frowns as he looks around.

"Any of you have an idea where to find clothes?" he asks gruffly, looking at me. I try to read the signs on the shops around us, but it's no use; this isn't even close to the writing in Hanshin. I shrug.

"No idea," I admit. Now Fai laughs.

"Poor Kuro-rin, let me show you how it's done," he says, walking over to a young lady walking nearby. He bows to her, flashing his brightest smile. "Excuse me miss, but my companions and I are travelers who have just arrived in this country. Could you please direct us to where we might buy some clothing?" The girl, no older than me, blushes and timidly points down the street to a store with a wide, well-kept entrance.

"Finnigan's will… um… it's a fine store for clothing," she stutters, then answers Fai's bow. She hurries away, her boots resounding on the stone street. Fai turns to us with a victorious expression.

"See? This is how you find information," he says, visibly proud of himself. I've seen this technique, charm bordering on flirting, both on the waitresses of the inn, in Jade country, as with the clients of the Cat's Eye. It never bothered me. But now I can't help but feel irritated when I see the poor girl walk away from us, her face probably still flushed in embarrassment. Without responding to Fai's exploit, I start walking to the shop the girl pointed to. Kurogane is right beside me, and I find that he's observing my legs critically. I stop.

"What is it?" I ask, although I can't help my irritation at Fai from seeping into my voice. The ninja seems to notice it, but says nothing.

"You're not limping as much as you were," is all he says. I frown and look down at my feet.

"I'm not limping anymore," I protest. He shakes his head.

"You are, just not a lot," he corrects me. "And running this morning probably didn't help." I bite my lip. He puts a hand on my head. "Most people won't notice it," he informs me matter-of-factly, but I know he's trying to reassure me. He knows I hate it when people can see my weaknesses. I nod.

"Okay, let's go," I say, but when I start walking again I'm careful not to limp. Kurogane seems to see this too, because his eyes narrow.

"Stop fooling around," he orders. "You won't be helping yourself like that." So I sigh and resume walking normally.

A bell chimes happily as I push the door to Finnigan's, weary of the new clothes I will be forced into. If they are anything like the ones in Jade country, I might refuse them altogether. After all, if I am a traveler, shouldn't it be normal for me not to completely embrace the customs of this new country? But the woman that greets us doesn't seem the kind to accept refusal, and I internally prepare myself at the idea of being in her hands.

Fai is the first to speak. "Good day. We would like to purchase some clothing. We're travelers," he explains. The woman offers us a dry smile and observes each of us carefully.

"For the three of you?" she asks.

"Five, actually," I say. "We need outfits for our two companions as well." Her eyes widen when she sees my exposed knees, but she does not comment.

"Very well," she says, then shows us the racks of clothing behind her. "Find what you need in there, and we'll adjust it for you. Ladies to the left, gentlemen to the right. Eloise!" she bellows, turning to the back of the store. "Come wait on these customers, I have work to finish in the back!"

"Yes, Ma'am," a young girl says, stepping out from the shadows of what must be the sewing room. She bows politely to us, then cocks her head curiously at our clothing. "Are you from another country?" she asks. The boss snaps at her.

"Eloise! Be polite, for the love of Heaven!" Then she disappears into the back. I offer Eloise a sympathetic smile, but she simply shrugs as though she does not really care.

"Well? Are you?" she asks. I nod.

"Yes, we're travelers. We'd like to know what people wear here," I answer, turning to the left rack. "Do I need all theses pieces?" Eloise giggles behind her palm, stepping forward.

"Really you only need to look in this section here," she shows me, "and the undergarnments are in the back if you'd like me to bring you some. The rest of the rack is only for those who fancy accessories." I nod, thanking her. Then she turns to Fai and Kurogane.

"And for you, sir?" she asks as I start rummaging through the racks. I find a dress for Sakura easily enough, a pink skirt and black tailored jacket with ruffles at the neck and sleeves. I pick up a hat and boots to go with it, thinking of all the women I saw in the square and trying to build a complete outfit. I find a dark green dress for myself, with a lot less ruffles, but with billowing sleeves and a small cluster of fabric flowers at the waist and neckline. The dark colours of the dress bounce against my golden complexion. Eloise helps me choose a hair ornament – nothing big, a hair clip, which I use to pull my hair back. Unfortunately for me, the undergarnments do jarringly resemble a corset, although they aren't as restricting, and I am told it's called a girdle. I retreat to the dressing room to try it on, and find that the dress doesn't need many adjustments, as it is already made tall. I hear Fai and Eloise's voices on the other side of the curtain:

"So, this is a magic country?"

"Oh yes. Everybody learns it in school. I'm not very skilled at it, so that's why I work at a seamstress's shop. But magic is everywhere here. Is it not like this in your country?"

"It depends. Not at the scale at which you describe it, no. And where would you suggest we start, if we wish to learn more about this place?"

"You could always start at the library. It's the perfect place to find information; everyone does research there. We have about a two hundred libraries in this country, the government is very proud of that."

"Syaoran-kun will like that."

When I step out, Fai and Kurogane have already been outfitted in their own clothes, and are waiting for me.

"Did you find something for Syaoran?" I ask and Fai nods, holding up a bundle of blue and beige fabric. I have to admit that he is handsome in his own clothes, although I would not normally like the bow tie and hat.

"Eloise even gave us a little hat for Mokona!" he point to the fur-ball atop Kurogane's head. Mokona jumps down into Eloise's hands.

"He's so adorable!" she exclaims with a smile. "What do you call these creatures?"

"Mokona is Mokona and Mokona is unique!" the fur-ball replies. She giggles.

"What are you looking for at the library, exactly?" she asks. Fai smiles devilishly.

"We're writing a book," he says, slipping back into the old story easily. I send him a warning glance; in a country with so many books, saying I'm a translator will be disastrous. But Fai has planned some interesting twists to his previous yarn.

"I'm the author, and these people are here to help me gather information," he says, reaching out to Kurogane and I. "He's my servant," Kurogane muffles an indignant growl, "and she's my honey." My eyes widen when I understand Fai's talking about me. I turn to him.

"I'm your what?" I ask, my voice only a pale imitation of what it usually is. Fai smiles.

"You're my honey," he repeats innocently. My hands ball into fists.

"I'm your what?" I ask again, louder. Who does he think he is?

"Now, now," he says, patting me on the head, "calm down. It's not so bad admitting it in public, is it? She's incredibly shy," he adds for Eloise's benefit. The girl giggles behind her palm, her eyes flickering from me to Fai. I look to the mage. _You are going to die,_ my eyes scream. _I will kill you. _But murder will have to wait.

"Eloise!" we hear coming from the back. "Are you done yet?"

"Yes, they are ready now!" the girl calls back. The seamstress walks out of back room and eyes us critically. Her eyes fall on me.

"Not bad, but it still needs a tuck here and there," she says, then snaps her fingers imperiously. I expected her to pull out needles and thread, but immediately the fabric at my waist begins to tug and pull, until it cinches it in perfectly. The skirt elongates a tiny bit and so do the sleeves, so that they no longer rest on my wrists but a little further. I look down curiously at my dress as the seamstress gives the same treatment to Fai and Kurogane's clothes. She smiles at my bewildered expression.

"Nothing like this in your country, is there?" she says, for the first her eyes gleaming with humour. "We only do this here in Recort." So this is the name of this country. Fai 'whistles' appreciatively.

"Hyuu! You're very skilled," he compliments the seamstress, who nods thankfully.

"Now," she says, walking to a small counter, "all this should come to-"

"Umm, could we pay with these?" I ask, holding up our previous clothing. "They're from a country called Piffle, very far away from here." She frowns and touches the fabric, turning it over in her hands.

"Well, I guess it is good quality," she muses, "and I could get a good price from collectors and eccentrics…" She looks once again from us to the clothes in her hands, and nods. "Yes, I'll take this as payment." I smile.

"Thank you then," I say. "For everything." I exchange a smile with Eloise, who points to our right.

"If you want to find the library, it's further that way. Anyone will point you there." We nod, and the bell chimes once again as we leave. I turn to the direction Eloise pointed. I don't see anything that I can identify as a library, but then again it could be anything. Any building in the mass of mismatched stone constructions all around this city. My eyes are once again drawn towards the balloons in the sky, wondering if the thin cables we see are all that keep them from swaying in the wind. Then Fai comes up behind me, and I turn to face him.

"I'm… your… what?" I repeat through clenched teeth, my eyes shooting daggers. Fai shrugs nonchalantly, but the smile never leaves his face.

"Well, I knew I had to say something, so I asked myself: 'What would annoy Pinky-chan the most?' And I think I got it right." He grins proudly. I want to hit him. I see Kurogane's shadow fall on him from behind.

"So I'm the servant again, am I?" he growls. I look up to him.

"No," I decide. What happened at Finnigan's stays at Finnigan's. "We can find another story later, when the kids are here." But Fai doesn't seem to hear me.

"Alright, let's go find the library, sweetie!" he says, taking my hand and pulling me along. I hiss angrily.

"I'm not your sweetie!" I yell, but soon after Fai pulls me closer and locks my arm into his.

"Whatever you say, love," he teases. My fist clenches so hard my knuckles turn white.

"Stop calling me that," I hiss. Fai laughs. I consider fighting against him, but the street is filled with people and I promised myself I wouldn't cause a scene. And the feeling of my hand on his isn't disagreeable. But the warmth of his body close to mine makes my skin tingle.

"Aisha is Fai's honey, and he loves her very, very much!" Mokona sings from Kurogane's shoulder. "But beware of the big Kuro-daddy, who's determined to protect his daughter's honour!"

"What does that have to do with this?" the ninja yells, and I distinctly see the tip of his ears turn red. "Stop saying nonsense!" he adds. Mokona jumps on Kurogane's head.

"If you don't bring her back before 8 o'clock, I will unleash my ninja fury on you," he says, imitating Kurogane's voice perfectly. Then he jumps on Fai's head.

"Don't worry, oh honourable Father!" he replies in Fai's voice. "Your daughter is safe with me. We have vowed under the stars that we shall never leave each other, for our love is eternal!"

"Oh, Father, don't be harsh on my poor Fai-kitty!" he says, this time on my head, with my voice. "I love him! And I want a spring wedding, with lots of flowers!"

"I will give anything my daughter asks," Mokona answers, once again with Kurogane's voice. "And I will build her a palace to prove my devotion-" The hand that has roughly grabbed Mokona is Kurogane's, and the ninja squeezes the poor fur-ball until it turns red.

"Will you stop with that?" he yells. Fai's laughing. I grit my teeth, resigned to walk arm in arm with him until we find the library.

When we finally find the library – after I've stopped myself time and time again from hitting someone as the knowing glances people sent me and Fai grew more frequent – I let myself breath a sigh of relief. At least now he should let me go. We stand for a moment at the bottom of the library's impressive steps, looking up to it's massive stone structure. The library is round in shape, and colossal pillars encircle its perimeter like a coliseum. The stone is smooth, pink with veins of black. The statue of an angel, a mirror image of the one we saw in the square, looks down on us as we walk towards the doors.

"Wow," I say when we reach the top step. "It's… huge." Fai chuckles, and finally lets our arms take their rightful places at our sides.

"Is this grand enough for you?" he asks, and I detect a hint of sincerity in his voice. I turn to him.

"It's… yeah, it's beautiful," I admit, smiling. For a moment I forget that I'm angry at him. Returning my smile, the mage takes my hand in his.

"Then let's say you've seen at least two grand places in your life now, shall we?" he asks, leaning towards me and before I know it he has brought my hand to his lips. He lets them linger for a moment on my knuckles before looking back up, smiling. "My lady," he adds teasingly. I feel myself blush furiously as I pull my hand away.

"Bastard," I mutter, running inside the library before he can see my face. I can hear him laugh behind me.

"Don't be mad, sweetie. You're cute when you blush," he informs me, but by then I'm not listening to him at all. My eyes have been drawn to the large bookshelves hugging the walls of the library. It's at least three stories high, and books are filling every inch of it; old books, new books, books on probably every subject imaginable. More shelves are lined on the ground. Chairs hover magically to help reach the top shelves. Ornate doors lead to even more rooms, which I assume hold more books, although I find it hard to believe that so many books can exist in one place.

"There's a lot of books," Kurogane comments when he reaches us. I can't help but to tease him.

"Yes, that's why it's called a library," I say patiently, as though to a child. He scowls, and I laugh. "It's just a shame that I can't read them," I add. Fai looks at me curiously.

"Do you like books?" he asks. I shrug.

"Not really," I admit, "but still, to have so many books here and I can't read any of them just because I don't know the language… it sucks." I pout and look away. "And you're still a bastard."

"Excuse me, but welcome to our library!" an employee greets us with a smile. "I couldn't help but overhear that you could not read the language of this country," he continues, looking at me. Then his arm reaches for a section of books behind him. "But we do have quite a complete section of foreign-language books where you might find something in your own language." I nod and thank him. When he leaves, telling us to come to him if we have any questions, I turn to the others.

"Okay," I sigh, "now that we know where to start, we go find the kids." Fai grins.

"Whatever you say, Raki-honey-chan!" I storm out of the library, both men close on my heels.

"You're a bastard!" I yell, pressing my hand against my beating chest.

XxX

We find Syaoran awake, sitting on the same bench where we left him. Sakura is kneeling in front of him, holding his hands in hers, their foreheads touching. Whereas Syaoran's expression is surprised, probably at the unexpected contact, Sakura's is all in serene concentration.

"Let my good dreams flow into Syaoran-kun," we hear her say as we get nearer. Kurogane and I exchange a puzzled glance. "This way Syaoran-kun will experience very warm dreams," Sakura concludes. I feel bad for disturbing their little private moment. Although it's strange, it's sweet.

"It's love, love!" Mokona chirps. Startled, the kids turn to us as one. They both blush when they see us.

"No… that!" Syaoran exclaims in horror.

"Syaoran-kun had a nightmare!" Sakura explains hurriedly, stammering. "This… that's why…!"

"Were you performing a charm?" Fai asks kindly, seeming to understand. They nod.

"But it was love," Mokona persists. I roll my eyes.

"Of course," I say, trying to sound sarcastic, but my true opinion manages to show through my voice. Of course it was love. That's what I've come to hope with all my heart, and I send Syaoran a wink. He looks down and shakes his head, which makes me smile.

"What… what is it like? This country?" he asks hurriedly, to hide his trouble. Fai answers.

"Again, we've traveled to a country that's very different-" he starts, then points to me and Kurogane. "The clothes look like this."

"They're very similar to the clothes in Jade country," Syaoran comments as Fai turns around to show him the back of his coat.

"But the women's dresses are different," Mokona adds. I nod.

"And it's much better than corsets," I add, for Sakura's benefit. She still seems embarrassed, looking meekly at us.

"And we got Syaoran and Sakura their own clothes," Fai continues as though we hadn't said anything. The children bow as one, saying thank you. I force Sakura back up with a sigh.

"Don't bow," I remind her. "We aren't any more special than you are." She nods. Syaoran looks at Mokona.

"Have you felt any sign of the feather?" he asks. I exchange a glance with the fur-ball and shake my head. With all the magic saturating the air here, it would be nearly impossible to pick out one of Sakura's feathers unless it was very near.

"I still can't feel it," Mokona admits seriously. "For some reason, this country is filled with mysterious powers."

"Mysterious powers?" Syaoran and Sakura repeat, once more synchronized. I chuckle.

"This is a country where Mokona can walk around without any problems," Fai explains as the fur-ball in question hops on his shoulder. "And… to Syaoran-kun, this country will probably be very pleasant…"

"To me?" the boy asks, surprised. I smile. Syaoran loves books and research in general. Of course he'll fall in love with the library.

"Right, Kuro-sama? Raki-chan?" Fai turns to us for confirmation, a naïve smile pasted on his face. Both the ninja and me look away with a grunt.

"Bastard," I mutter under my breath, prompting a confused glance from Syaoran, to which I smile. "All right, let's get you two dressed up so we can show what the bastard's talking about!"

"As you say, honey!"

"I'm not your honey!" I growl. Fai just smiles.

XxX

"This is a country of magic," the bastard explains as we walk back to the library. I'm staying a safe distance from him this time. "Apparently everyone studies it in school…" I let the sound of his voice melt away in my mind, replaced by the hustle and bustle of daily life. I raise my eyes in wonder as a girl flies above us on what seems to be a stick with wings. She sees me staring at her and waves down with a smile. I wave back. Kurogane gives me a small push.

"Don't fall behind," he tells me. I smile.

When we pass under the stern eye of the angel statue, Syaoran can't take it any longer.

"What is this place?" he asks, looking up in wonder at the building. I lead them in.

"Welcome to the biggest library you've ever seen!" I announce as I open the heavy doors. Syaoran gapes in the entryway. I chuckle. "Pretty impressive, huh?"

"Wow," is all the boy seems to manage. Sakura is right behind him.

"So many books," she agrees with a smile.

"This country researches magic from a lot of aspects, that's why there are so many books related to magic," Fai explains. "Of course," he adds, winking at Syaoran, "there should also be books about history." Syaoran's face breaks with a smile for the first time since we've entered.

"It seems like this country's libraries are the biggest of all the countries in this vicinity," Mokona continues. "Isn't that great?"

"Syaoran-kun likes books a lot right?" Fai asks.

"And history!" Mokona adds. The boy nods enthusiastically.

"Yes!" he exclaims, and I can see it takes all he has not to dive on the bookshelves. "I wonder if I can read them…" he hesitates, but the smile never leaves his face. I step in front of him.

"Well," I say, "let's check it out!"

"Yes!" he says, reaching for the closest book and opening it with the eagerness of a child. His eyes run across the page for a few moments before he speaks again. "I can read it!" he declares proudly.

"That's great!" Sakura says, leaning over his shoulder. He nods.

"I don't understand it entirely, but it's very similar to the language of a country I visited with my father!" he says, flipping the pages. I discreetly disappear, leaving Syaoran and Sakura alone together.

"Syaoran's in ecstasy…" Mokona comments happily. Fai pats Kurogane's shoulder.

"If we could we would buy them all, right Daddy?"

"BEHAVE AND STOP WITH THE JOKES!" the ninja replies hotly.

"But we don't have money," Fai deplores, shaking his head as though Kurogane has never said anything. "So sad. We can't sell these…" he says, and Mokona opens his mouth to release Hien and Souhi, as well as my whip and knife. I send them both a warning glance.

"Don't you dare sell those," I say. It turns out Mokona can also store items in his mouth, the same way he can ingest us when we change dimensions. Fai waves his hand in front of my face.

"Now, now, calm down," he says, and I'm relieved he hasn't finished his sentence with 'honey', 'sweetie', or any of the other nicknames he's suddenly decided to call me for the past hour. We're stopped by Syaoran's surprised gasp.

"What is it?" Kurogane asks, walking towards the boy. He's probably relieved to have an excuse to get away from Fai. I don't know if it's because I'm tired, but I'm having an increasingly hard time to deal with the mage's antics.

"This book has nothing written on the spine," Syaoran answers, pointing at a book that stands ominously white against the deep colours of those surrounding it. Kurogane picks it up and flips through it.

"There's nothing written at all," he says with disinterest, handing the book over to Syaoran. The boy takes it and begins to study the pages. Everyone goes back to their own exploration of the library.

"I'll go check the foreign-language books, alright?" I say, and make my way to the section I had been directed to on our first visit. I scan the spines for a title I can recognize, but nothing jumps to me. I pick up a book at random and start flipping through it. There are no pictures, so I can't even fathom what it's about. I put it back and keep searching. What I haven't told anyone is that I'm actually looking for something. If there are any chances of finding a way to take off my barrette and control my powers, it's going to be here. A country of magic. If I can't find a way of taking it off myself, surely I'll find someone willing to help me. Even if I have to pay a price; I'll be willing to do it.

When I finally recognize a language resembling that of Hanshin, I nearly scream in delight. I take it off the shelf and begin reading through it. I can't understand every word, but I can mostly make out its content. It's a book about magic; this far, I am lucky. But the rest of my reading leaves me disappointed: there's nothing in here about seals or how to take one off. I put it back on the shelf with a sigh, but keep looking. There has to be something here that can point me in the right direction.

"Syaoran-kun?" The scream makes me jump up, and before I can think I am running towards Sakura's voice. The section where I left the others isn't far, and I arrive at the boy's side right after Fai and Kurogane get there. Sakura is standing in front of Syaoran, repeating his name worriedly like a prayer. At first nothing seems astray; the boy is standing, holding a book. He seems to be reading. But then I look at his face. His eyes are wide, empty, and tears are falling uninterrupted. He isn't just holding the book; his knuckles are white from clutching it. He doesn't seem to notice us at all. The book in his hands is pulsing like a heart.

"Syaoran!" I shake him. "Syaoran, wake up!" Even more alarming than his lack of response are his tears. Something's scaring him, hurting him; it has to stop. Sakura's clutching her heart, obviously not knowing what to do.

Fai brushes us away. He grabs the book with one hand and pushes against Syaoran's shoulder with the other.

"You have to let go," he says, and something in his voice makes me react. There's an urgency there, a serious tone that makes me fear the worst. But the book refuses to leave the boy's hands.

"Syaoran!" I call again, grabbing the book with both hands and pulling. It refuses to budge. I follow Fai's example and push against the boy's chest for added strength. In vain. "Syaoran!" I want him to stop crying. I want to know what he sees, so I can stop it. I place both of my hands on Syaoran's to try to loosen his grip. The pulse of the book reaches me.

"_I want to become stronger!" _

The sudden exclamation makes me cry out, like I've received an electric shock. I surface for only a moment before the pulse swallows me again, like a wave.

_A child climbing a tree; he brings a scarf back to his mother, grinning. A man comes up behind them. The boy calls him Father. The man looks like Kurogane, but for the tattoo of a dragon climbing up his left arm. _

"_I see my son has been a naughty little boy, as usual." "I'm not a little boy!" There is laughter. _

"_Suwa is perfectly protected. Besides, if monsters break into our territory, there's always me."_

"_I'm here too!" The little boy jumps around eagerly. More laughter._

"_He's just like you when you were young." "I'm still young." The man looks offended._

_Another image. Training in a clearing. The boy and the father against an army of straw men. The boy looks like his father now. _

"_I want to be strong!" "For what purpose?" "I want to protect Suwa, and the people who live here. I want to protect everyone, and I want to protect mother and father." "That's my son!" Friendly fighting. Proud smile. _

"_The number of monsters that have crossed the kekkai and invaded our territory is increasing… the lord is running all over the place." _

"_The lady has been unwell lately… the young master is becoming dispirited as well. She needs to maintain the kekkai, and he is helping the best that he can…" The lady spits blood as she tries to rise from the floor. Now the boy is older. A teenager._

"_I have to become strong, so mother does not have to worry about the kekkai, and she can rest. Quickly! I want to become stronger!"_

_A little girl brings flowers for the lady. The boy smiles sadly as he takes them._

_The father is back, covered in blood. He grins. He is going back to battle. The boy watches._

"_I'm going too! I am strong as well!" "That's right. But you must use your strength to protect those you love." _

_The boy stays behind. _

_There is a noise. The lady's body stands oddly above the floor, a sword through her chest pinning her upright like a grotesque butterfly. There is only an arm attached to the sword, and arm coming out of the wall. _

"_MOTHER!"_

_Monsters. In a monster's jaw, an arm. An arm with a dragon tattoo climbing along it, holding a silver sword. The boy cries as the sword falls in front of him. _

_Darkness. _

_Blood and noise. Death everywhere. A woman in __armour__, like a goddess of battle. Another, a little girl with long black hair. Then, an arrow through his hand. Pain. Tears. _

"_Mother… Father…"_

_Darkness again._

_Waking up in a strange room. The little girl is there._

"_My name is Tomoyo. And yours…?"_

"_Kurogane."_

I surface with a small cry. It no more than took a second. I have a feeling what I saw is only partial, but it is enough. I shiver, and hurriedly back away from the book. Sakura tries to rip it away from Syaoran's grasp, but I can't help myself from looking at Kurogane. I don't know what I saw. I don't understand what just happened, but I want to cry.

Kurogane steps forward and grabs the book. This time, it comes as easily as if it was meant to leave in Kurogane's hand all along. But as soon as the book leaves his hand, Syaoran falls. We all freeze for a moment, except Kurogane. The ninja catches the boy's wrist, still holding the book in his other hand. Syaoran's eyes become normal again, but they are still crying. He looks up.

"Kurogane-san…" he whispers, "I'm sorry." Then his eyes close.

XxX

I sit on a chair near Syaoran's bed in silence, staring down at my hands. No one speaks. Sakura is beside me, but she is busy searching Syaoran's face for any sign of awakening.

Kurogane is looking at the floor. I wonder if he suspects what happened. I don't understand it myself.

What I saw when I took Syaoran's hands were only images, flashes of sights and sounds strung together as though they are part of the same story. It's that story I am trying to understand now. I don't even know if it spoke of Kurogane, and if it did, I don't know how it got into that book, let alone in Syaoran's head. But I did hear it distinctly, at the end, the name pronounced by a voice I recognized. It was much higher, much younger than it is now, but recognizable.

"_Kurogane."_

I remember the darker images: the stabbed lady, the severed arm, the metallic smell of blood. I know I will not find peace until I find out what these images mean, but at the same time I have a strange feeling of reserve, as though I am thinking of things I should not know. I find that I'm staring at the ninja again. He looks up, and his eyes meet mine. I look away. The boy had blood red eyes too. What does it all mean? I don't know. I don't want to tell Kurogane about it, not yet. Later. When I have an idea of what it was.

"Are you feeling well?" It takes me a while to realize the voice is talking to me. I look up into Sakura's green eyes, and force a smile on my lips.

"I feel fine," I say, then look back down at my knees. "I'm just worried for Syaoran-kun, that's all." Fai and Kurogane look at me oddly; they know I'm hiding something, but they know better than to ask. Sakura seems satisfied with my answer and looks back to Syaoran. She gasps softly. The boy's eyes are fluttering open. He seems confused, but his gaze quickly gains focus.

"He's awake," Sakura breathes in relief, peering worriedly into Syaoran's eyes. "Are you alright? Feeling down?" she asks. He shakes his head slowly, but I can see in his eyes that something's bothering him. His gaze slides past us easily, and rest on Kurogane.

"This is the library's sickbay," Fai explains. "Someone suggested that Kuro-sama bring you here." Syaoran's eyes don't waver as the mage speaks to him, but he nods to signify that he understands.

"Kurogane-san…" he manages to utter, his voice raspy. "I have something… I'd like to say." We turn to Kurogane. Fai and Sakura hesitate, but I'm already up on my feet before Kurogane can take a step forward.

"Let's go take a walk," I suggest, but it is more of an order than anything else. I know that I should stay, that this is my chance to talk to Kurogane and Syaoran about what happened, but I am not invited.

"Yes, let's step out for a while," Fai agrees, putting on his hat and gently guiding Sakura out the door of the small sickbay. The princess looks back over her shoulder worriedly, but follows us. I close the doors when we leave. Fai smiles, as though nothing alarming has just happened.

"Perhaps Syaoran-kun has discovered something, and he wants to tell Kuro-pii what they've seen so they can discuss it," he suggests.

"We have to search for Sakura-chan's feather, after all," Mokona adds. Sakura nods and tries a small smile.

"That's right," she agrees. I simply nod. There must be something odd about me, because Fai sends me a barely covered sideways glance. I force another smile on my lips.

"Well, while Syaoran-kun and Kuro-sama are talking, why don't we go ask questions around this place?" I offer. This will be my own way of understanding the events; through research. Of course my suggestion was very open, but the others must know what I meant, and maybe that is the only thing they would think of researching at such a time as well.

"Yes," Sakura answers. I shiver, suddenly cold.

"What was that book?" I whisper hoarsely. It was strange, and powerful. I don't like being unable to understand something. I gain control of myself again, and stand up straight. "Let's go find out," I conclude. Fai smiles.

"Yes," he says. Before we can go far, however, Mokona hops away from Fai's shoulder and lands on the lip of a nearby fountain.

"Mokona will just stay here for a while," he explains.

"Understood," Fai says, nodding. "We'll see you later, okay?" We leave. I can't help but wonder what the fur-ball would want to stay alone for, and then I tell myself that it's none of my business. If I don't want to go crazy, I have to do take care of one thing at a time: right now, finding out more about the book.

We find a clerk nearby. "May I help you?" she asks joyfully when we approach her. Fai nods, flashing a smile.

"Yes, we were enquiring about a specific book in your library, and we were wondering if you might help us…" he says. The clerk cocks her head to the side curiously.

"I'd be glad to help you. Which book would you like to know about?" she asks.

"It doesn't have a title," I explain. "In fact, there's nothing written in it at all. We can show you which one we mean though." This time, the girl chuckles.

"Oh, that won't be necessary," she tells us. "Here, I'll show you were it is." We follow her, exchanging puzzled glances. As she guides us through the library, the clerk starts her explanation. "The book you're mentioning is called the Book of Memories. I know because it's the only book we have here with no title and no text." She chuckles again, as though all this was wildly amusing. "Of course, the one we have here is only a copy. The original is in the Central Library of Recort. It's strange that you would ask about it, I thought everyone knew by now."

"We're travelers," Fai explains. The clerk nods.

"Ah, that explains things. Well, you see, the particularity of the Book of Memories is that it absorbs the memories of anyone who opens it. Anyone who grabs the book afterwards therefore experiences the first person's memories. It's very powerful magic, very old too, but we've been able to duplicate it." Both Sakura and I stop. Only Fai keeps going like he hasn't heard anything of interest. We exchange a knowing look; Kurogane flipped through the pages of the book before handing it to Syaoran.

Now I know what the story was. It was Kurogane's memories.

I stop the shaking in my hands and follow the clerk, listening distractedly to her rambling. "It was found hundreds of years ago, no one knows who created it. It's considered a national treasure of Recort, you know, and…" I don't pay attention to the rest. I'm thinking about Kurogane, the little boy who saw both his parents being murdered on the same night. I think of Tomoyo, who took him away from all that and gave him hope. I think of Syaoran, forced to see and hear every detail of it.

"Here it is," the clerk says, picking up the book where we left it and handing it over to us. I eye it wearily, refusing to touch it. The clerk smiles reassuringly. "I didn't open it, so it's safe." Fai grabs it, and I notice that he's firmly clasping it shut.

"Thank you," he says, obviously signaling the clerk that her services are no longer needed. She nods and leaves, telling us to come to her if we have any more questions. I look down at the book in Fai's hands. It seems harmless now, dead and empty like any normal book. I recognize the drawing on its cover; a vaguely heart-shaped design, with something like a spear from top to bottom.

"Am I the only one who finds that design familiar?" I ask, cocking my head to the side curiously. Sakura frowns thoughtfully.

"I don't remember where I saw it before," she admits. Fai smiles victoriously.

"I do!" he exclaims. We look to him.

"Where?" I ask. The mage grins, but doesn't answer.

"Come on, think a little," he encourages us. "It's not fair if I do all the work!"

"It's not fair for you to keep something from us!" I reply. Fai pats my head. I scowl.

"We saw it in every world we've been to," he hints. "Well, except for that lake country." I think. What was different about the country of the lake?

"That was the only world where we didn't find one of Sakura's feathers," I try. Fai claps, urging me on.

"You're getting there!" he says. I look to Sakura. Her eyes widen.

"Wait," she says suddenly. "There was a design on my feathers, it was red…"

"That's the same design as on your feather!" I exclaim. "That's what it is!"

"Hyuu! Pretty good! See, didn't I tell you it was easy?" Fai says. I look to him with a scowl.

"It would have been easier just to tell us," I reply. The mage grins.

"But it wouldn't have been nearly as fun," he answers. I go to slap him upside the head, but he dodges it. "Now, let's not be violent," he says.

"Don't patronize me," I warn. "I'm tired, and you know how I get." He nods.

"Oh yes, Raki-chan gets very violent when she's tired, I remember," he says. "Remember in Jade country…?"

"The table. Yeah, I remember that," I say sternly.

"And the book!" he adds. I smile at the memory.

"Yeah, that was a big one," I agree. "It was a gardening encyclopedia, I think."

"The proof that knowledge hurts," Fai says, rubbing his head as though the bump was still there. I chuckle.

"There are a lot of books here," I inform him, designating the bookshelves around us. "If you'd like more knowledge, please ask."

"No, I think I'm smart enough," the mage answers.

"I'm not sure 'smart' is the best word to describe you."

"What then? Genius? Intelligent? Clever?"

"Idiotic, maybe," I say. His lower lip trembles and his eyes grow wide.

"She's so evil!" he whines to Sakura. The princess pats the mage's arm, unsure of what to do. I roll my eyes.

"We're in public, please try to behave," I say. Fai turns towards the fountain where we've left Mokona.

"Mokona!" he calls loudly, waving. "We know what happened with the book!" The sideways glance he sends me confirms that he's purposely annoying me.

"This is a library!" I hiss. "Quiet!" Mokona starts bouncing towards us.

"You're right, this is a library," Fai says. "Why don't we step outside a little?"

"You mean out of the library? Why?" Sakura asks. Fai shrugs.

"It would be nice to get some fresh air, won't it?"

"We still have some things to ask," I point out. "Like how this book is related to Sakura's feathers, and why Mokona's eyes didn't open when we found it."

"Mokona thinks you're talking about him!" the fur-ball exclaims when he reaches us.

"Hello, Moko-chan!" Sakura greets him.

"What were you doing back there?" I ask.

"Mokona was talking to Yuuko!" he chirps happily. I sigh. Will that witch ever leave us alone?

"What did you talk about?" I say, hoping she hasn't decided to make us pay some more interest for our White day debt. But Mokona bounces up and down excitedly.

"We were talking about the group's sleeping habits!"

I frown. "What does that witch want with our sleeping habits?"

"Yuuko says it's very important to sleep well!" Mokona answers.

"It's nice of Witch-san to worry about us," Fai says.

"Yes, she's very kind," Sakura agrees. I shake my head.

"Whatever. If she's interested, my favourite food is chocolate. After, it's vegetarian okonomiyaki. And I like rose petals in my bathtub." That last one was a joke, but the others seem to take it seriously.

"Really? Did you do that often in Hanshin? It must smell very good…" Sakura says. I open my mouth to set her straight, but she's already talking to Fai. "In my country, some women liked to bathe in milk…"

"I wonder how that was. We didn't bathe all that much, it took so long to get the water warm… There were a few hot springs, of course, but getting there was so troublesome…" he muses. I gap.

"Please tell me you at least took showers," I say. He grins.

"Maybe…"

"Disgusting," I mutter. He laughs, really laughs for the first time since Syaoran read the book.

"I'm just kidding," he says. "Although it really was troublesome to get some warm water."

"Why are we talking about baths?" I ask suddenly.

"I don't know," Fai shrugs. "You started it."

"I didn't!" I start, then think about it. "Oh yeah, I guess I did. Anyways, could we please move on to a more serious topic?"

"Yes, I want to find out more about that book," Sakura says, nodding. Mokona bounces up and down again, and up on my shoulder.

"What book? Mokona wants to know!"

"This one," Fai answers, holding it up for the fur-ball.

"Is that the book that Syaoran was holding?" he asks. I nod.

"It's called the Book of Memories. But it has the same design as Sakura's feathers on it. We want to know why."

"Mokona doesn't sense anything."

"Wait!" Sakura says. "Didn't the clerk say that this one was only a copy?"

"Yes! And the original is in the Central Library," Fai says, grinning.

"So if this is only a copy, Moko-chan wouldn't sense the feather, because it isn't here!" Sakura concludes. I smile.

"That's right," I say. "Maybe we should go ask the clerk about this Central Library. We could go check it out."

"And ask her to tell us what the original looks like," Sakura adds, "so we can recognize it when we arrive."

"Maybe she could even tell us about the security measures of this other library," I say.

"And we could-"

"You two are really devious," Fai tells us, laughing. "But you're talking like we know that the original Book of Memories is Sakura's feather, not just something with a similar design. It could all be a coincidence."

"There is no such thing as coincidence in this world," I quote. "And besides, you tell me what else it could be. It's powerful, it has the same design on it as Sakura's feathers, and no one knows who created it, so it probably appeared somewhere."

"Many things have unexplained origins."

"Yes, but this one also has too many similarities to ignore!" I reply. "You know what, let's just go ask. I bet you we're right."

It takes us no time to find the clerk. She had been hanging around a nearby section, reading a book for fault of having nothing to do. When she sees us, her face lights up with a helpful smiles.

"Do you have more questions?" she asks. I smile politely.

"Yes, you've told us that this book is just a copy. Would it be possible to know what the original looks like?" I ask. "We're… well, he's writing a book on various magical artifacts, and we would like to study this book in details." I add, pointing behind me to Fai. The girl's eyes light up.

"You're authors then? That's fascinating," she says genuinely. "So you travel to do research? I'd love to do that. But I guess all the traveling I'm going to do is going to be in here," she laughs sheepishly, holding a hand out towards the library.

"I'm sure you'll do wonderful journeys with your books," Sakura says kindly, and the clerk smiles. For the first time I realize that she isn't much older than me, maybe even younger. She shakes her head.

"But how silly of me, you want answers to your questions, of course! Here, I'll show you a picture we have of the original Book of Memories… no, better yet, I'll make you a copy of it! That way you can bring it with you to study it," she informs us eagerly. "And I'm assuming you'd like to go to the Central Library to see it? I'll bring you maps too, and maybe a train schedule." I can't help but smile as she talks eagerly of everything she could do to help us. I lift a hand up.

"That would be perfect," I say. Then I glance at the book in Fai's hands. "One more thing… would it be possible to take this book out?" The clerk's smile falls a little.

"Not for extended periods of time," she says, sounding sad for the first time. "I'm sorry, but it's considered a very valuable book even though it's only a copy." I nod. "But you can some back in to see it anytime you'd like," she adds hurriedly. I smile.

"That's fine, thank you," I say.

"I'll go get all of that for you," she says. "It will take a while, though, so maybe you would like to wait for me somewhere…?"

"Yes, we'll be near the front doors," Fai answers politely. The clerk hurries away readily. I lift a puzzled eyebrow.

"Why will we be near the front doors?" I ask. He smiles.

"Well, we do need some fresh air, don't we?" he shrugs. "I'm just saying we might as well go take a walk if we have to wait for her to be back." I sigh. He's right.

"Okay then, let's go. Sakura?"

"Yes. I wonder what kind of places are around this library," she says, smiling, but I can tell she's still worried about Syaoran.

"You'd better leave the book here," I tell Fai. "I'd rather no more incidents happen because of it." The mage nods, and obediently places the Book of Memories on a shelf. I look at it wearily, even now. Even though I know the power of the feathers is not aggressive in any way, I'm afraid of what this book can show me, and I'm afraid of what it can show other about me. Fai was right. Sometimes, knowledge does hurt.

I'm grateful for the first breath of fresh air as we step outside. At first we only roam in the small gardens around the library, but we eventually push on further, into the street. We pass by several small stores and a café, which Fai observes curiously. He points out the differences between it and the Cat's Eye, and for a few moments we are caught in blissful remembrance of the peaceful times that were Outo. No, now that I think about it they were fall from peaceful; as much with the oni attacks as with my own personal turmoil, my life was full of doubts and confusion. I wonder why it is that we tend to remember the good times and forget the bad?

"Fai…" I say once, when Sakura and Mokona are walking ahead of us in the street, marveling at the flying silhouettes in the sky. The mage looks down to me with a kind smile.

"Yes?" he answers. My eyes are serious again, and he knows I am back to the state of mind I was in before Syaoran woke up. He knows not to push me.

"When you started talking about Jade, back there… and then you started this whole conversation about baths… you were trying to make us forget about Syaoran and the book, weren't you? Just for a while? And this walk… you're trying to get us to relax and have fun, aren't you?" I'm not really asking; I know what he's doing. I think I've known all along, but it felt too good not to go with it.

"Maybe that's what I'm doing," he admits carefully, "and maybe I was just interested in having strange conversations and taking a walk outside to see the flowers." I feel a small smile tug at my lips.

"Well then, thank you," I say softly, looking up to him. "Because it worked." He returns my smile. I peer into his eyes. He suspects something, but he doesn't know for sure. I don't think he needs to know, quite frankly. It's a good thing he's not asking. "Umm, one more thing?" I ask, suddenly timid. "Fai, I…"

"What is it?" Once again his smile is kind, but I stop.

"Never mind," I whisper. I was going to tell him about my plan to remove my seal in this world, but I suddenly don't want to. I don't want that primal, violent fear to flash through his eyes again. He eyes me curiously, but says nothing.

When we arrive in the library, the clerk is nowhere to be seen. We wait for her near the door, like we said we would, until I hear the soft clip-clop of her shoes against the floor. She appears suddenly from behind a bookshelf, breathless. Her arms are full of papers and maps, which she nearly drops when she sees us.

"I'm sorry!" she exclaims, catching herself. "I had to make copies of the maps and schedules too, because it turns out we only have one copy of each, and I'm not allowed to take them out, so it took longer than I thought it would, and I'm sorry!" I smile, taking the papers from her hands.

"It's fine, we took a walk," Fai says reassuringly. "We barely had to wait for you."

"Yes, thank you for everything," I add. I don't think she was obligated to help us so much, but I guess she did it from the kindness of her heart. She nods, still panting.

"I'm glad I could help you!" she answers. "Come back any time! If you need any more copies of anything, you can go to the office and ask for assistance, or you can just use the photocopier in the back, that way," she points us to the direction she means.

"Thanks again, so much!" Sakura says, smiling. The clerk smiles back.

"I just wish you luck on your journey!" she replies. Then a voice calls from deep within the library's entrails, and she turns back apologetically. "I have to go back," she says. We watch her run towards the source of the voice. I balance the papers in my arms, shuffling through to identify them.

"Sweet girl," Fai comments, leaning over my shoulder to grab one of the pages. I try to ignore his breath tickling my ear. The page he pulls up is one of a book, but not a book I've seen before.

"The original Book of Memories," Fai says, holding it up so we can all see it. The book printed here looks like no book I've ever seen: it's a box of glass and leather, shaped like a book and held fastened by a lock, no doubt to keep unsuspecting people from using it. But what's really interesting is the thing we see curled up inside the box. It's a feather, immaculate white except for the blood red design of a heart-shaped swirl and a spear through it. I look up at Fai with a grin.

"Told you so."


	36. Yours to Tell

**DISCLAIMER: TRC IS NOT MINE! Thank you.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviews! I love that warm, fuzzy feeling I get when I know people read this! And thanks to Arin, who's the only one who dares give me constructive criticism :P I appreciate it. (and it's all true! All of it! Now I want to rewrite all of the story…!XD)**

**Recort, Recort, Recort… Writing this makes me so nostalgic. I hope it doesn't show too much in my writing… I almost feel like I'm writing this in retrospect of Tokyo, even though I shouldn't. So many of you told me you couldn't wait for Acid Tokyo… well, let me tell you that I definitely can! ^_^ I feel like I'm going to cry when writing it. It's when everything falls apart… Anyways, we're not there yet, so enjoy Recort!**

**Oh, and pictures… I'm working on that. They're not scanning, cause my pencil is too light… I'll try to have a few up by the next chapter. Speaking of which – just thought of this – but school started this week, so my updates will probably get further apart until winter break. Anyways, and for real this time, enjoy!**

**XxX**

Fai knocks softly on the door to the sickbay.

"Yes?" we hear coming from the other side. It's Syaoran. Fai opens the door just a crack and peaks his head inside.

"Is the conversation over?" he asks, and I can almost hear the phony smile pasted on his lips.

"Yes," Syaoran answers. Fai opens the door wide to let us all through. I breathe a sigh of relief; Syaoran looks much better than when we left. He's found his smile again. Pouring his heart out probably helped.

I was planning on acting calm and collected, but when I see Kurogane, my heart clenches painfully. He looks at me, and my heart clenches again; he knows. He knows what I know. And I haven't told him, for which I have no excuse. All of Fai's well-meant efforts shatter. I avoid his gaze.

"We've found information regarding Sakura's feather!" Mokona says happily, bounding on Syaoran's bed.

"Are you alright, Syaoran-kun?" Fai asks. The boy nods, smiling.

"Yes," he says. "Thank you." Sakura observes him worriedly, but no external signs betray the trouble Syaoran was under not even an hour ago.

Suddenly, a loud growl echoes through the room. We freeze, exchanging puzzled glances. Mokona's the first to speak, sadly looking down.

"Mokona's hungry…" he says. "Somewhat painful…" At that moment, Sakura's stomach growls as well. She blushes and presses her hands to her belly, as though that could silence it.

"S-sorry…" she mumbles.

"It is time," Fai shrugs, fatalist. "Can't be helped!"

"I'm sorry," Syaoran says. "I didn't wake up until now…"

"That's okay," I reply. "It's not your fault." He will not blame himself for anything that happened today; I will make sure of that. The poor boy has enough things to shoulder.

"I'm hungry too. Let's go to that place we just found," Fai offers.

"Yay!" Mokona exclaims, jumping on Kurogane's face. The ninja's skin turns a colour between that of ripe strawberries and apricots, and I see a vein popping near his temple.

"The place you found just now?" Syaoran asks, surprised.

"Yes," Fai answers. "It's a café, nearby. It smelled good." The boy looks down.

"I think our conversation lasted longer than I thought," he comments.

"You take all the time you need," I say firmly. "We got busy." He nods, then looks up at me. He smiles.

"I'm glad you were able to find information about the feather," he says. I peer into his eyes. He doesn't know. He's just truly grateful that I'm helping him find Sakura's feather, maybe even that I took over to give him rest. After what he saw, he's still ready to think about others. Tears prick at my eyes again.

"Yeah, well, we had some help," I say, thinking of the helpful clerk. "Now, while you guys get ready, I'd like to go check something…" Fai and Sakura look at me curiously. "I was thinking to make a copy of the book, so that we could show them the design," I say. "We forgot to do that." Really, I'm searching an excuse to get away from Syaoran before I start crying.

"That's a good idea," Sakura says. I nod.

"I remember where Fai left it, I'll be right back," I say, then rush out the door before anyone can ask any questions. I find the book just where Fai left it. I feel a sudden urge to open it, just to see if there really is nothing written there, but I stop myself. After all, do I really want the next person who opens this book to see my entire past? Or, on the chance that someone opened it before me… do I want to see that person's memories?

I press firmly on the book to keep it from opening. My feet take me to the back of the library, where the clerk said the photocopier would be. I do find a machine there, its shape vaguely reminiscent of its Hanshin homonym. But when I approach it, not only do I remember that I don't know the language, I also remind myself that almost everything here works by magic. That could be a problem. I consider walking back to the office to ask for help, but decide against it. The whole point of this was to be alone. I guess I'll just have to figure out a way to make this machine work.

I place the book, face down, on the surface I assume to be left for this purpose. Then I stare at the board full of strange symbols, wondering which ones to press. I'm still caught in my reverie when a voice rises behind me.

"Are you almost done?" It's a female voice, sharp and musical, and I turn around swiftly, startled. The woman in front of me is short, maybe in her mid-fifties, with blond hair so fair it seems white escaping in wisps from her hat. She smiles up at me, seeming amused. "My, my, and I who pride myself in knowing all the young faces of this city. What's your name, dear?"

"A… Aisha…" I mutter, taken aback. The woman shows such magnetism that I can't help but answer her.

"Did you just move here? If so, I can't wait to have you in my class," she says. I shake my head.

"I'm sorry, but I don't live here. I… I'm traveling, we just stopped here to do some research…" I turn to the photocopier, and the question shoots out on its own. "Could you help me with this thing?" The woman laughs softly.

"Don't you know runes, child? Or do they use a different writing system, where you come from?"

"Oh… they have a different one," I say. "Kanji? Do you know it?" She shakes her head, never departing of her smile.

"No, I've never heard of it," she admits. "But here, let me show you a bit of this." She steps in front of me, and begins pressing on the strange symbols. Every time she does, the symbol lights up in pale blue, until the machine begins buzzing with a low hum. "It'll only take a few moments from here," she tells me. I nod. As we stand there together, watching the machine buzz to life, I feel obligated to speak.

"So…" I say hesitantly, searching for something to talk about. "You said that you couldn't wait to have me in your class… Are you…?"

"I'm a teacher at the Institute. I teach Magic and Enchantments, all levels," she answers. "All the young ones pass by at least one of my classes, which is why I was surprised that I didn't recognize you."

"Ah." My heart starts pounding. She teaches magic, which means she might know things that could help me. Like all the other inhabitants of this country, magic pulses through her being, but I hadn't thought much of it until now. "Could I… ask you a few questions?" She looks curiously over her shoulder.

"Go ahead, I have nothing to hide," she chuckles. I shake my head.

"It's just that… I'm learning magic too, but…"

"What is that barrette sealing, child?" she interrupts me, reaching for my face. I pull back. Her hand falls back at her side. "I'm sorry, I should have asked," she says softly. I shake my head.

"No, it's me, I'm…" I look away, "I'm a little jumpy these days." Her eyes peer into mine, gentle.

"If I ask you what is being sealed away from you, will you answer me?" she asks. I gulp. She's a stranger, but maybe she can help. Still, I don't really want her to know so much about me.

"Memories," I finally say. "I don't know why. I've had it for as long as I can remember. That's why I wanted to talk to you."

"You'd like me to remove it?" She's kind, but her eyes are sad. "I'm afraid doing so would be tricky business. Later, maybe, but not here. Definitely not here." I feel my heart drop.

"Why not?"

"That would be horribly irresponsible, dear. So many things could happen – you could fall unconscious, or have an anxiety attack." She seems truly sorry. "If you'd like, you can contact me at a later date, we could arrange something in a more secure environment. Here, you can reach me at this address." She pulls out a small card from her purse – probably a professor like her needs business cards – and hands it to me. I smile and take it, but I know there won't be any hope on that front. Tomorrow we are probably going to the Central Library, and after that… we'll be off to another worlds before you know it. That's the way things work.

"Is there anything else bothering you, child?" the woman asks. I shake my head.

"No, that's all, thank you," I answer like an automaton. She eyes me suspiciously. I smile. The machine beeps.

"Ah! There, it's all done. Which book did you want to copy?" she asks curiously as I pick up the sheet where the design is clearly printed. She takes the book, flips it around to look at the cover and frowns. Her lips move silently, then she looks at me. "It won't work, you know," she says. I lift my head up.

"Huh?"

"Trying to see your own memories using the book, or asking somebody else to witness them and tell you what they are. It won't work," she says, for the first time looking at me sternly. My heart jumps. I hadn't even thought of that. But she shakes her head. "If your memories are sealed off even from yourself, they won't be transferred to the book. It can't work." I nod contritely, acting as though that had been my plan all along.

"I'm sorry," I say, taking the book from her. Her expression softens.

"It must be difficult, knowing there is a part of you that you can't see," she says. "But you can't become desperate. You need to stay turned towards the present, not the past."

"Okay," I sigh, pretending to be disappointed. It's easier to pretend she's right than to explain the reason behind our interest with the book.

"Raki-chan! Where are you? We're ready!" I hear Fai's voice call from somewhere in the library, much louder than was necessary. I cringe. The woman looks at me curiously.

"You said your name was Aisha…?" she starts, visibly puzzled.

"It is," I say, scowling. "He's an idiot." She chuckles.

"You must be close," she comments, which causes me to stiffen.

"We are not close!" I hiss softly, and she laughs even more. Then she looks to the direction where the others must be, and her whole body tenses, like a dog on a trail. She blinks, and then it's over.

"He's the one who teaches you magic?" she asks. My eyebrows shoot up, surprised.

"Umm, yes," I say. "Informally," I add with a small laugh. She smiles.

"Could you not ask him to remove that seal? His powers are quite impressive." I shake my head.

"He won't use magic anymore. He promised someone that he wouldn't use it, so he can't help me." There must be bitterness in my voice, because she looks up to me.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that," she says thoughtfully. "One can't give up magic so easily. It attaches itself so deeply to your soul, it's often impossible to stop, even when one wants to desperately. Magic becomes a part of you." She looks up again. "There is another reason you won't go to him, isn't there? That you would rather trust a perfect stranger with your secrets than tell them to him?" I shrug.

"I don't know what you mean," I answer. "I just take help wherever I can find it."

"You sense danger in him," she states plainly, looking once again in the direction where the voice came from. I freeze, and she smiles to me. In her eyes I see something like pity. I step back, my eyes growing cold. I don't want anybody's pity. "I don't think you're a seer, child, it most likely isn't premonition," she adds, then, to my doubtful look, "but yes, it is real." She taps my arm. "Most of the times, such warnings are more of the heart than of the conscious mind." I frown.

"What?" I ask, not sure that I understand.

"Have you been hurt before?" she asks, and once again I see it. Pity. I back away.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I say coolly, just as Sakura pokes her head from behind a bookshelf.

"Aisha! There you are! I found her!" she calls over her shoulder. "You weren't answering, we were starting to worry." I force a smile on my lips.

"I'm sorry, I'm afraid I held her up," the woman says apologetically. "It was my fault."

"I'm coming Sakura, I'm sorry," I say, gathering my things and leaving with the princess. "Thank you for helping with the machine," I add as an afterthought, then disappear. I don't want to stay with that woman, I don't want to talk to her again. I slip her card between two books on a nearby shelf. I can't read it anyways. I don't want anyone to pity me. Sakura seems perplexed at my sullen mood, but says nothing.

"Did you… um…"

"I got the copy," I say, brandishing it in the air. Then I smile, softly, because I know I'm scaring her. "I'm sorry, that woman was… difficult." Sakura seems worried.

"Did she say anything to make you upset?" she asks. I sigh.

"Not so much said as implied… but I don't think she wanted to be mean or anything, she was just… aggravating," I answer carefully, then turn to ruffle her hair. "And let's not worry about that, okay? It's over now." I grin. Sakura risks a timid smile.

"Alright," she agrees.

"There you are!" Fai exclaims, appearing suddenly in front of us. Mokona jumps towards us, and I catch him.

"Aisha, Syaoran's been ready to leave for hours! You made us wait in glorious agony!" he whines, pitifully fainting in my palm. I sigh.

"'Glorious agony'? Since when do you write poetry?" I reply. The fur-ball jumps up.

"Mokona's always been a poet!" he exclaims indignantly. I nod, skeptic.

"Really," I say.

"Really! Mokona used to make Yuuko cry with his poetry!" Although the idea of that witch crying is laughable, I contain myself.

"Anyways," I say, "I thought you were waiting for me to go eat?"

"Yes! We were! In fact, Mokona is in pain right now! And so is Kurogane! Kurogane is in a lot of pain! He told me so!" My smile twitches at the mention of Kurogane, but I try not to show it.

"I never said anything like that!" the ninja roars, coming into my field of vision. Syaoran scurries after him. When my eyes meet the ninja's, I smile, pretending everything is fine. His gaze is hard. I gulp, but the smile stays. Magic is not the only thing Fai has taught me.

XxX

"It is in the largest library of the country," Fai explains to Syaoran and Kurogane. I lift up my cup for one of the flying teapots. The sky-blue ceramic pot pours hot coffee directly in my matching teacup, then flies away with a whistle. The sound of wings flapping fills the small terrace of the café we've seen earlier, and now retreated to. I also grab a sandwich from the plate in the center of the table, my stomach still grumbling. It turns out that I was hungry too.

"Though it seems that it will be a little difficult to get to it…" the mage adds thoughtfully. Syaoran perks up. He was still studying the picture of the original book.

"Why? Is it very far?" he asks. Sakura nods.

"We'll have to take a vehicle to get there," she answers.

"A train, apparently," I add.

"How many days will it take?" the boy asks, and I can see that he is already forming a plan in his head.

"It's nothing like that," Fai says, smiling.

"Then what is so difficult?" Syaoran asks, surprised. The mage shrugs.

"Because – there are only valuable books in that library," he answers.

"Some people would like to steal them," Mokona adds, taking a bite from a sandwich. "Therefore, to keep hateful people from doing such things, there are powerful watchdogs."

"Really?" Now it's my turn to perk up, surprised. "When did we learn that, exactly?"

"What?" Fai seems amused. "She mentioned it when we were going to show her the book. Didn't you hear?" I shake my head.

"I wasn't really listening," I admit, prompting the mage to laugh. I'm sitting beside Kurogane and the air is tense in that direction, although less than I had expected. I try to avoid the ninja's eyes as much as possible. When I see him, I can't help but to see the young boy staring back at me through those crimson eyes, and I see him desperately clutching his mother's body, his father's sword. But I'm too afraid to admit that to him.

"So, when can we go?" Syaoran asks. I pull out the map and train schedule. The clerk has circled our destination in red ink, as well as the train we should take to get there.

"It should take us only an hour and a half to get there," I start, "and trains leave twice a day, once in the morning and another in the afternoon." Although the writing is foreign to me, they use the same number system as in my country, which enables me to interpret the schedule quite accurately.

"Do we have enough time to catch the afternoon train?" the boy asks. I shake my head.

"Tomorrow," I say. "We'll go tomorrow." The table eyes me curiously. I shake my head. "First of all," I explain, "we barely have the time to catch the afternoon train, and that's if we hurry. And secondly, I don't know if we've been living in separate worlds all this time, but I remember that yesterday we were all in a race, most of us got injured, although slightly, then everyone partied until morning, and I haven't slept in two days, and I am _tired_. I want to sleep." I sound like a whiny child, even to myself. But everything I said is true. I would be able to fall asleep now, at this table, with no incentive. I try not to make it too plain, but I think my thoughts can easily be read in my eyes: we just found a feather. Can't we take a break?

"Well," Syaoran starts, "we do have enough money to purchase a room for the night…"

"Just a small one," Mokona adds, "but that's okay."

"And still have enough to buy tickets tomorrow," Fai adds, apparently counting on his fingers. I nod thankfully. There's another reason I want to wait before going to the library; I need time, to find a way to talk to Kurogane before he thinks I'm both a spy and a liar. I don't know how he feels about my seeing his memories. Things seem fine with Syaoran; they even seem a little closer than they used to be. But Syaoran came clean and told him right away what he had seen. I'm still hiding. And nothing in my behaviour says that I will tell.

"Besides, I think we all need the rest," Syaoran adds sheepishly. "I didn't sleep much last night either." I can tell he's disappointed, but I smile graciously.

"The book will still be there tomorrow," I reassure him. He nods.

"I know," he says, but he's impatient. I bow my head.

"Listen, if you really want to go today-" I start.

"No!" Both he and Sakura exclaim at the same time. My eyes widen, taken aback. I wasn't expecting such a violent response.

"Aisha, you're tired, and we all are, and you're right, we all need to rest," Sakura says determinedly.

"We won't do something if we're not ready for it," Syaoran adds, and for the first time his tone does not allow me to respond. I sigh, defeated and confused, but secretly happy.

XxX

We walk into the small room, the biggest one we've been able to afford on our budget. I look critically at the two beds on either side of the narrow room. I know what everyone is thinking: how are we all going to sleep?

"Well," I say after a moment, "if we don't take too much space we can fit two on each bed."

"But what about Fai?" Mokona asks worriedly. I turn around, lifting an eyebrow.

"How do you know I'll be the one with no bed?" the mage asks, looking overdramatically wounded.

"Because Aisha and Sakura will sleep together, and Kurogane and Syaoran will sleep together," the fur-ball answers as though it were obvious. "So there's no place for Fai!"

"Kuro-puppy won't sleep with me?" Fai whines, his chin shaking. "You're so cruel!" The ninja looks away with a grunt.

"Someone could always sleep on the ground," Syaoran offers.

"That would be fine, except that we don't have anything to sleep on other than those mattresses. No," I decide. "If we push them together, someone should be able to sleep on the crack between the beds."

"Hmmm…" Fai starts thoughtfully, "then we'd have to sleep very close together." He sends me a sideways glance and grins teasingly. "Very close together." I grimace as I understand his words.

"Pervert!" I reply, and I feel my cheeks burn against my will. I turn away. "You are not getting anywhere close to Sakura." There's a knowing smile on his face, a smile that I don't like one bit. Did I just dream Kurogane stepping closer to me?

The princess seems confused. "Ah… what do you… Aisha?" she says, blushing, probably understanding more than she lets on. Syaoran's eyes grow wide, and they dive towards the floor.

"We're leaving," I announce, taking her wrist and pulling her towards the door. "Away from Fai and his horrible male hormones!"

"What's wrong with my hormones? You don't like them?"

"Shut up!" I shriek, stomping out of the room furiously. Sakura follows me, looking back.

"Ah! Um… we'll just be outside!" she calls for the boys. Just before I close the door behind us, I hear Fai's voice.

"Kuro-puu, say, what are hormones?"

"I don't give a damn."

XxX

We didn't stay away long. Only thirty seconds later Sakura convinced me to go back, and I did, after swearing under my breath to every possible god that Fai would be sleeping nowhere near us tonight.

We slid both beds until they met in the middle of the room, allowing for one more of us to sleep in between both mattresses, half on one and half on the other. With the rest of the evening to pass, we left to get some quick supper in a small restaurant nearby. We have to be very careful with our money, as we need to buy tickets to the Central Library tomorrow, and we have nothing left to sell. I feel a little bad for urging us into staying the night, but everyone assures me that it was the right thing to do. Except Kurogane. We haven't spoken yet.

Finally, after hours of tense silence, I approach him.

"How's your wrist?" I ask softly, sitting on the bed next to him and taking his left hand into mine. He doesn't say anything. I pass my thumb on his wound. It's healing well, all closed now, and barely red. All that should be left is a thin pale scar against his tan skin. But the muscles are tense when I touch it, and I know that even thought Kurogane would never admit it, it's painful.

"How's yours?" he asks gruffly, gesturing towards my leg. I smile.

"It's fine," I say. "Thanks." He shrugs, but doesn't pull his hand away. I begin flexing his wrist this way and that, gently working the muscle. There's another silence. The kids and Mokona are downstairs in the inn's small bath chambers, cleaning up, so the only ones left in the room are Kurogane and me, as well as Fai, sitting on a chair in the corner, observing us. I don't know what we're waiting for; perhaps we're both waiting for the other to initiate the discussion, maybe we're waiting for Fai to leave. I have a feeling he doesn't want to speak in front of the mage as much as I do. These are Kurogane's memories, and they should belong to him alone.

And they should not, especially not, be in my head.

"Where did you learn this?" Kurogane asks suspiciously, taking his wrist away. I look down instinctively.

"I, um… In Shura, I had sore muscles, and… it's just a massage," I explain timidly. I don't know why I shrink in front of him. Maybe because I know I have the upper hand, and I want to bring us back to equality.

"In Shura?" Fai asks, leaning forward. "Who showed you that, Ricky?"

"Henrik," I correct irritably, clucking my tongue. He grins mischievously.

"Isn't that what I said? Harvey."

"Henrik."

"Harry?"

"Shut up." But this is not my voice. Kurogane is looking directly at the mage, and I think I see Fai cringe slightly. He must be glaring. "The kid has a name, it's not so hard to remember. Shit." He lets his hand fall back between us, but when I pick it up this time he doesn't pull away. I think I'm actually waiting for my healing magic to act, but because I want it too, of course it'll remain unreachable. We sit in silence again, until I speak.

"Um, Fai, would you mind…?" I glance at the door. I don't even have to finish my sentence, because the mage is already standing. He looks from me to Kurogane, then nods and heads for the hallway.

"I'll just see what's taking the kids so long," he says, although we don't need for him to excuse us for throwing him out. Still, I'm grateful. I don't feel as bad that way. After sending us another quizzical glance, Fai steps out. The silence is even tenser than it used to be. I sneak a sideways glance in Kurogane's direction, only to find out he's doing the same to me. I stifle a laugh. His mouth stretches into the shadow of a smile.

"You're hiding again," he informs me. "You know I hate that." My smile vanishes. Taking a deep breath, I stand up, and turn to face him. I don't know if I'm scared or ashamed, but I find that I can't look at him in the eyes, so my gaze locks on the shiny brass buttons on his jacket.

"Kuro-sama," I start, my voice sounding distant, "I don't really understand… what I saw." Now that I've started, I can't stop. I know that he knows, so hiding it any longer is pointless. "When Syaoran had the book today, I… I saw things too. I didn't know what they were, or how they fit with you, but then we found out about the book, and… I wanted to tell you, but I wasn't sure, and Syaoran… I'm sorry!" There are tears pricking at my eyes, and soon they are rolling down my cheeks as the man sitting in front of me once again becomes the boy in the book, and I'm not sure if I'm apologizing for seeing his memories or for the pain in his eyes when he saw his mother die. All the tension between us, my unexpressed fear at discovering what the book held, my pain and sorrow felt for Kurogane from the bottom of my heart, everything melts into tears and turns into sobs. My hands instinctively find my shoulders and I clutch my arms to my chest. I wish I could hold the boy there as well, but all I grasp is emptiness. Then there is a hand on my head.

"I know," Kurogane's voice says, oddly soft. "It's okay. Don't beat yourself up for it." I look up to him, but his image is blurry through the tears.

"But…!" I exclaim, trying to find the words. "Those are yours! Your memories, not mine, not anyone else's! I shouldn't know… I shouldn't know anything without your permission!" The hand grips the back of my head a little tighter.

"It's the past," he says. "It's over. And I don't mind you knowing it. I know about your parents, don't I?"

"It's not the same," I sob, slowly regaining control of my breathing. "I told you. You never wanted me to see this. You didn't even know!"

"I did. When the boy told me about it." I shake my head.

"By then it was too late," I reply. I wipe my tears away on my sleeve. "We already saw it. It was too late."

"Listen." This time, the voice is gruffer, more authoritative. "I don't care, do you hear me? If you would have asked, I would have told you anyways."

"You're just saying that to make me feel better," I say, but my vision is clearer now and I can see his eyes. Sincere. I realize he probably would have told me. I smile sadly. "How did you figure it out?"

He shrugs. "You screamed. When you let go of the book. And then you looked at me. Your eyes were wet. So when the kid told me what he saw…"

"You knew I had seen the same thing," I conclude. "But not really the same, I don't think. I think he saw more than I did." He held the book much longer than I did. If only a second was enough to see everything I had seen, I can't imagine what kind of knowledge Syaoran might now have.

"What did you see?" It's the first time the ninja displays any sort of concern for what I might know. I take a deep breath.

"You don't have to explain any of it to me," I say. "It's very… incomplete, I think." I tell him what I saw, from the little boy in the tree to the death of his parents, and the little girl who called herself Tomoyo. When I'm done, we stay silent. Then his hand, still poised on my head, starts ruffling my hair.

"It's fine," he says. "Stop crying, goddamnit!" This makes me laugh, surprising even myself.

"I'm sorry," I say, chuckling into my palm. He looks down at me seriously.

"Don't say you're sorry."

"No, I mean… I shouldn't laugh." I stop myself. "It's not funny." But then flashbacks start attacking me again, and tears start to pool. Kurogane's head drops in frustration.

"If you're either going to laugh or cry, I'd honestly rather you laugh," he sighs. I shake my head.

"It's okay," I say hoarsely, wiping the tears away. "I won't cry anymore." He looks at me wearily, as though expecting me to break down any minute. But I mean it. Just the fact that he's waiting for it means that he's already seen me cry too much.

"It wasn't your fault," he finally says. "Anything that happened. My past either, okay? Don't worry about it." I nod, still fighting tears.

"Does Syaoran know? That I saw it too?" He shrugs.

"I didn't tell him. I don't think he noticed, he was pretty much out of it," he says gruffly.

"Can you… not tell him, please?" I ask. "I'll do it, it's just… I'd rather tell him. When I have to." After a moment's hesitation, he nods.

"Alright," he says. "It's yours to tell, after all." There's another moment of silence. I'm thinking of what I saw, and small details begin to clarify in my head.

"Kuro-sama," I finally say, almost in a whisper, "when your mother… the man that was holding the sword… was his arm really…?" I don't know how to say it without sounding stupid. But when I look up, I don't see a hint of annoyance in his eyes, and I think that he probably expected me to ask.

"Yes," he says coolly. "His arm was really coming out of the wall." I take a second to realize what that means.

"How did he…?"

"I don't know," the ninja growls, looking down at the ground in concentration. "To just stick an arm in my mother's altar would take a considerable amount of power. And it wasn't really the wall. There was a gap in the air, and it closed when the arm retreated back to where it came from." Now there's a dangerous light in Kurogane's eyes, and I can't help but shudder.

"Did you find him? Whoever did it?" I ask, half-dreading to hear the story of what happened to that person. It probably wasn't pretty.

"I never did," the ninja admits, the murderous light still there. "I searched everywhere, but I never found that sword, or anyone to lead me to it. But the kid saw something." I look up curiously. "He recognized the symbol on the sword's hilt." I frown, trying to remember the symbol myself. It's blurry at first, but if I don't focus directly on it…

"It looked… a little like a bat, right?" I ask. "Black and red?" He nods.

"Said he saw it in his country, before he left. On unknown soldiers, from no country he had ever seen. Probably from another dimension." He sighs, and then his lips stretch into a wolfish smile. "Which would explain why I never found him in Japan. If I keep traveling like this, then I might find him. And then…"

"You'll kill him?" I finish softly. He stops, then frowns.

"…yes," he finally says. "Then I'll kill him."

I don't say anything. We haven't moved since the beginning of this conversation. But for the first time, I think, I really glimpse the murderous side of Kurogane, that strong, indestructible core inside of him that will make him back away at nothing to protect what he holds dear and destroy what threatens it.

"I'm sorry," I finally whisper. When his eyes lock back on me, they are hard.

"I told you not to be-" he growls, but I shake my head.

"Not about that. I'm sorry about your parents," I correct him softly. "It must have been horrible." For the first time, I glimpse vulnerability in his eyes, just a fragment of that little boy who climbed a tree to retrieve his mother's scarf. And I smile gently. "I've never known anyone who's died," I admit, "so I don't really know how to do this." He shakes his head.

"You don't have to do anything," he replies. "It's over." I nod.

"One more question?" I ask, my heart beating. I know it won't change anything, and I already suspected, but I just want it confirmed. He nods, signaling me to ask. "Your father's sword… that was Ginryuu, right?"

"Yes," he says, his expression unreadable. I take his arm and squeeze it tight.

"I'll help you get it back," I whisper. "I promise." He looks up and down, as though appraising me. The boy and the man begin to make sense in my mind now; two distinct parts of a whole, but one can exist without the other's constant presence. That young boy will always be a part of him, but he has become so much more.

"We're even, then," he says gruffly. "I know your past and you know mine." I nod. "And I don't care that you do. On one condition," he adds, and I look up in surprise. What is he going to ask? The hand still on my head forces me to look at him. "Everything you saw, it's mine. You said it yourself. So it's not your burden to bear, either. I don't want to see you cry about it again." We stand like this, staring into each other's eyes, wondering who will be the first to waver. Finally, I look away.

"Okay," I breathe out. He sits back on the bead.

"Good," he says. I sit next to him again. Grab his wrist. Imagine the thin scar that will soon replace the wound, wonder at all the scars that I cannot see.

"Kuro-sama?" I ask, and he looks at me. "You are strong, you know that, right?" He returns my smile.

XxX

"I'm ba-aack!" Fai announces as he steps back in, like a smiley villain in a horror movie. The ninja grunts.

"Hey," I say. I look down, hoping the tracks of my tears have dried up by now, but if Fai notices them he says nothing. He strolls easily to his chair as though we hadn't kicked him out minutes earlier.

"The kids aren't done," he says, "but – good news - the innkeeper's wife said that breakfast was included with the room, so we won't have to worry about that tomorrow." I sigh. Everyone turns to me, puzzled.

"I'm sorry," I say. "It's my fault we had to get a room, and now we have to watch our money even more-"

"Naw, you're tired, forget it," Fai says, shrugging it off. "And Sakura-chan was right, we all should be. Well, us three for sure. I mean, the kids and Mokona slept for a while, but-"

"So did you," I remind him. He smiles.

"If a drunken coma can be considered sleeping," he replies with a laugh. "But I have a feeling you two didn't sleep at all last night. And yesterday was a big day for all of us." I sigh.

"I just feel bad because Syaoran wants that feather so much, and he wants it as fast as possible. But as soon as I said I needed some sleep, he and Sakura just turned around, and all of a sudden leaving before tomorrow was not an option," I say. Fai smiles.

"I think they were glad to do something for you, on the contrary," he replies. I shake my head.

"I know, they're great kids and all, but-"

"I don't think you understand," he cuts me off gently. "You're always helping, always worrying about everyone else, running around to make sure everything is alright, and you never ask for anything in return. I think they're just glad they can finally repay you." I frown, looking at the mage.

"I'm not that good," I reply. "And I was just stuck in bed for days, I didn't do much to help then."

"And why the hell did you get stuck in bed for days?" Kurogane grunts. I can tell he's still angry about my whole injury bit, but I'm just glad things are back to normal between us. Well, not exactly normal; there's a softer understanding between us now, as though we had glimpsed parts of each other we had never imagined, and found out that we liked them. That, and I've been teasing him constantly about the way he smiled. He's been insisting that it was a bloodthirsty smirk, while I distinctly remember him smiling. Really smiling. Which doesn't happen often. "Because you didn't want us to worry, and you were running around like an idiot to take care of everything. Of course they're going to feel guilty." I suddenly look down, ashamed.

"Oh," I say. "I never saw it that way."

"And that's not the way you should see it!" Fai protests, waving away my worries. "They love you, there's nothing wrong with that. You should be happy." But all I can think about is that they love me enough to postpone the retrieval of a feather for me. Old fears start to resurface again, and I play nervously with my nails. Being so close to them, maybe too close, having to leave them… I'm about a second from biting my thumb, which would clearly betray my anxiousness, when Mokona bounds into the room, distracting us all.

"Mokona just took a bath with Sakura! It was fun! We put lots of bubbles in and played around in them and made a complete mess!"

"Which you cleaned up, I hope?" I chip in, but Mokona doesn't seem to hear me.

"And then Syaoran made a mistake and went into the women's room, and then Sakura shrieked and Syaoran's face went red, red, so red that he looked like a turnip!"

"Poor kid," Fai laughs, shaking his head. "So innocent." I glare at him.

"I'd like to believe there's some innocence still left in you, too," I comment icily. He cocks his head to the side.

"I think it's too late for me," he replies naively. I think I'm going to kill him. But before I do, Syaoran walks in the room, eyes wide and hints of red still blotching his face. He blinks furiously when he sees us, until his eyes return to a normal size. His hair is still wet. He almost makes me think of a puppy lost in the rain. I stifle a laugh.

"Sa… Sakura-hime will be coming back soon," he announces in a whisper, his cheeks flushing as he says the princess's name. You can tell it really was an honest-to-god mistake; otherwise he wouldn't be so shocked. Just like reading the book was an accident. Syaoran would never intentionally hurt someone.

I stretch. "Well, I think I need a bath too," I say. "Feel free to go to bed without me, I'll catch up." I stand up and head for the door, then turn to Kurogane. "Oh, and strap Fai to the bed so he doesn't do anything rash. Like being unable to make the difference between the women's and men's baths," I add as an afterthought, clearly glaring at the wizard. My answer is a grunt and an innocent smile. I roll my eyes and turn away.

XxX

When I wake up, Sakura is sprawled all over us, her gangly limbs reaching in four different directions. My knees have somehow came to rest against Fai's shoulder, and Syaoran's feet are where his head should be. Mokona's resting against Fai's ankle. The only one who seems completely undisturbed in this mess is Kurogane, still exactly the way he was when we went to bed.

They all seem so peaceful, it seems a shame that they'll ever have to wake up. It's like, in this moment, there is nothing to bring us down or stop us, no memories haunting us and no pasts for others to see or hide. We are here, now, together and happy. I can't help but smile.

I shift a little, trying to untangle myself from the net of bodies without troubling anyone. I manage to slip out from under Sakura, but when the time comes to lift my knees away from Fai, the wizard groans. I freeze. I don't know why I put so much effort on secrecy, but that's probably because I don't want to wake anybody. We all deserved this rest.

Just when I think I can safely pull away, I see two piercing blue eyes looking at me. Fai smiles, lifting his head.

"Running away so soon?" he whispers teasingly. I shrug. "It's still early. I thought you were the one who wanted to rest?" I know it makes no sense for me to be the first to wake up. I don't really know how to answer, so I shrug again. Fai smiles and taps the mattress next to him. "Sleep some more," he offers. "You deserved it." I look longingly to the small nest of peace on that bed, and cave in. Slowly, I slip back onto my pillow and curl up the way I was before, caught tightly between Sakura and Fai. With a satisfied grin, the mage closes his eyes again. I close mine too. Even if I don't sleep, let my spirit rest for a little while longer in this place where we can all find a bit of happiness.

And please don't let this place vanish.

XxX

The world disappears underneath us as I watch through the window. We're not the only train to be leaving the station, and I see several long, snaky silhouettes make their way through the sky like ours. Tiny bat wings are attached to each compartment. Their frailty makes me wonder at the magic needed to make those huge trains fly.

"Wa! We're flying in the air!" Mokona croons.

"We're so high!" I add, watching the people below turn to ants. I know I've been higher in a dragonfly, but having no control over the vehicle's movement makes me nervous.

"It flies using magic," Fai informs us joyfully.

"It's amazing!" Sakura exclaims, pressing her face against the glass. I exchange a smile with Syaoran, before his tender gaze goes back to his princess. I've been thinking of how to tell him that I've seen Kurogane's past as well, but I don't know how. I'm still a little ashamed that I didn't tell both of them as soon as it happened. I don't want to come straight out and say it, but I don't want to leave him in the dark either. I'll have to find something I can say, something that only he could understand.

"Everyone slept well?" I ask, as though I hadn't already done so ten times this morning. My eyes rest particularly on Kurogane and Syaoran, whom I'm afraid may have had nightmares. It mustn't have been easy for the big guy to have the death of his parents reminisced twice in one day; and with the horror of some of the images, I'm also scared that Syaoran may have dreamt of blood. But no one says anything about that.

"I feel perfectly rested," Sakura tells me, smiling.

"How about you?" Fai asks me. "I hope you're not as tired, because there's a lot of books where we're going." I smile at the joke. It's true that I tend to be over-emotional when I'm tired. If Fai's around, that often leads to violence.

"I don't know yet, I might feel a sudden urge to teach you something," I tease back. There's a grimace of pain on the mage's features, of anticipation no doubt.

"If you do anything, tell me first," Kurogane grunts, looking out into the alley. There's a silence, in which Fai tries to understand the meaning of the ninja's words, decides them to be threatening and cries.

"So evil!"

"There, there, Fai-san…" Sakura pats his arm, looking at me with a puzzled expression. I shrug.

"Anyways, I just wanted to make sure no one was going to fall asleep on the benches," I conclude, ignoring the mage's wailing. Suddenly he straitens, smoothing his coat and smiling as though he hadn't been fake-crying moments earlier.

"Of course," he says, tapping the cushioned benches we've been allotted, "there were different seats, but we don't have a lot of money."

"I think they're plenty comfortable," I reply, frowning. Why people always insist on luxury, I don't understand.

Mokona pokes his head from behind a clueless Fai. "Sorry. Your daddy is not very resourceful-" he says in Fai's voice. Hearing this, the mage grins amusedly. "For example, he is a drunkard," Mokona continues. "He drinks all the time."

"Even though Daddy hasn't been working and only knows to drink, he is a good person, Fai Mommy!" the fur-ball continues, jumping on Sakura's head. The princess brings a hand to her mouth, surprised at the perfect imitation of her voice escaping Mokona. I know he's talking about Kurogane, but the ninja himself hasn't seemed to notice this. Fortunately there aren't many passengers in our compartment, but those surrounding us crane their necks to better hear what our conversation is about. Then the fur-ball's feet land on my head.

"I will work very hard to make up for Daddy's drinking, Fai Mommy!" I seem to vow from atop my skull. "And I will hide the bottles!" I start, surprised at Mokona's accuracy. This is how I reacted about my mother's problem, years earlier. Down to hiding the bottles in safe places – or, well, safer than the cupboard.

"Fai Mommy!" Syaoran's voice rips me from my thoughts, but I discover it's only Mokona. "I will take over Daddy's work!" he continues, and I see a dangerous spark in his smile. "Kurogane Daddy's share of work!" Mokona screeches at the top of his lungs, causing us all to fall silent. Syaoran's eyes go wide and he freezes in shock. We wait for the explosion.

At first it's only a hand grabbing Mokona, and then we see Kurogane's bloodthirsty grin and shiny eyes, looking in every way like a crazed murderer. I can almost make out storm clouds around his head and the loud rumbling of thunder in the distance. A look outside confirms that it's only my imagination. Still, Kurogane's scary.

There's a strange noise coming from the train's engine, and I look to the other worriedly.

"We're not…?" I ask, already counting all the ways to escape from a crashing train compartments. Mokona, still in Kurogane's grasp, reassures me.

"Oh no, that's normal! It means we're arriving soon!" he says, then wiggles himself our of the ninja's hand. There's an annoyed growl as he does so, and the hand reaches for him again.

"Really?" Sakura asks, looking eagerly out the window. Syaoran smiles.

"The station should be near," he confirms. I glance once more at the schedule and maps we've brought with us. Just getting from the station to the Central Library won't be very long – they seem to be practically on each other's doorsteps – but I still wanted to be sure we don't get lost. Suddenly, my attention is brought to Sakura, who is thoughtfully looking down and holding her hands to her chest. She seems sad.

"Sakura?" I ask, peering under her bangs to see her eyes. My movement alerts Syaoran, who also turns to her.

"Sakura-hime?" he asks worriedly. Hearing his voice, she stands up straight and smiles.

"Ah, it's nothing," she reassures us. I look at her doubtfully, but she smiles back with complete sincerity.

Only minutes later, the train's wheels screech on the tracks, and it stops with a jolt. We stand up, imitating the other passengers, and Fai steals one of the maps from me.

"Looks like we're here!" he announces as we walk towards the door. I follow him, but turn around at the last second.

"Come on, guys!" I call Kurogane, Mokona, Syaoran and Sakura. The ninja and the fur-ball are engaged in a series of mutual tortures, and the boy is helping Sakura out of her seat. They soon come out with us, but Sakura stays behind a few seconds more. I turn just in time to glimpse her worried glance at Syaoran's back. She's been cautious with him since the book incident, but I thought it was over for her. Apparently it isn't.

"Is that it?" It takes me a few seconds to realize the gruff voice doesn't belong to Kurogane, but to Mokona perched on his head. The ninja glares out to the distance, unable to see the fur-ball, but nonetheless angry.

"Yes, this is it, Kuro-pon," Fai answers, lifting his eyes from the map to look at Mokona. Seeing this, Kurogane glares at the mage, and I can't help but laugh. Fai smiles, clueless.

"Here, it should be in this direction," I point the others to one of the gates surrounding the platform. It seems not many people travel in the morning, because our surroundings are mostly empty. Only a few stragglers can be seen here and there.

When we pass under the arch, Syaoran gasps in amazement in front of me. Sakura joins him.

"It's so big!" she marvels. I peek over her shoulder and suck in a breath of astonishment. This library is easily ten times the size of the last one we've been to, and stands in the center of a sea of calm water. Its arches and towers are clearly duplicated in the water, which acts as a perfect mirror. Balloons representing suns and planets float in the air here also, but no cables seem to keep them in place.

"This is," Syaoran starts, then has to stop to take a breath, "the Central Library."

"Hyuu! Then the count's up to three, isn't it?" Fai says, coming up behind me. It takes me a while to understand what he means.

"Huh?" I ask, which makes him laugh.

"Three grand places so far," he explains proudly. I hold my hand protectively against my chest as I turn to him warily.

"Bastard," I say under my breath, my eyes narrowing. He shakes his head and holds up his hands.

"Hey, I didn't do anything yet!" he protests with a smile. "Kuro-puu, help me here!"

"Yep, you're a bastard," the ninja says coldly as he joins us, looking out to the library. Fai overdramatically cries on my shoulder.

"Daddy always takes the children's side!" he whines. I push him away.

"There's no way to cross," Kurogane interrupts us stoically, observing the water. I notice that he's right; there's no ramp, no bridge to reach the library from here. There are arches reaching to the central tower of the building, but they don't seem to land anywhere. I bite my lip and look around.

"There doesn't seem to be another entrance," Syaoran notices. In fact, the doors seem to be facing us, but the library is so far away we can't hope to reach them. Not unless we swim. The thought sends shudders down my spine. I can speak to water, but don't ask me to trust it with my life. Then, one by one, I notice that everybody turns to me. Their faces seem expectant. I look back, puzzled.

"Yes…?" I say, then understand what they expect me to do. With a deep breath, I approach the water's edge and crouch down next to it. There's no barrier, nothing to keep me from falling in if I lean in too close. I can tell that the lake is very deep. Still, the water's call is soothing. I close my eyes and try to clone my breathing on the water's current, but there is no current here. No ripple, gurgle or wave to read. This lake is perfectly stagnant. I frown. This seems unnatural. I wonder how the water can stand it. For people who live with magic everyday, they don't seem to be able to read nature very well. I reach a hand in. No warning. Nothing. I stand up and put my left foot over the water, threatening to let it drop. If I do, I know that my entire body will follow, but even then there is no warning from the water's voice. Instead, it almost seems to be inviting me.

"I… I think it's safe to cross," I say, hesitant. "I think…" Then I follow my instincts and do something that could have been very stupid; I slam my foot down towards the water. It hits something hard. Looking down, I see the golden bridge stretching from where I am standing all the way to the library.

"Hyuu! Good job, Raki-chan!" Fai exclaims, stepping on the bridge. He jumps once or twice on it for good measure, and I muffle a yelp. Large enough to let an elephant pass through, our path still manages to seem frail. But it doesn't give way.

"Wow," Syaoran says, following the mage towards the library. He can't seem to be able to detach his eyes from its dark form. I can already sense his excitement building up at the thought of all the books this monument can hold.

"Let's go! On to the library!" Mokona urges Kurogane forward. The ninja obeys with a grunt, visibly unhappy to be listening to orders from a fur-ball. I offer him a knowing smile, and he grimaces. I chuckle, still watching the others make their way across the water. I don't know why, but I fear that it will disappear if I move.

"Are you coming, Aisha?" Sakura asks, passing by to join the others. Just then, Syaoran turns around.

"Sakura-hime! Aisha-chan! Are you coming?" he calls with a bright smile. I look from one to the other, bite my lip and shrug.

"Yeah, I'm coming," I answer, and follow Sakura with a smile. On our way there, I discreetly nudge the surface of the water with my foot, creating ripples. I feel a shiver of pleasure through my body, but it is not my own; so when we arrive closer, I give a violent kick into the water and splash Kurogane and Syaoran. Both of them turn to me, one startled and the other glaring, and I smile innocently. "The water was bored," I explain, making my voice meek and naïve. Sakura laughs. Soon Syaoran joins her with a smile, but Kurogane still glares. I sigh and pat his arm. "There, there, you've been young once too, haven't you?" I tease. "Let the kids have some fun, middle-aged man." His eyes widen at the tease I haven't used in so long, and he seems to be preparing to shout when Fai intervenes.

"Kuro-tan, look! Water!" he mage points excitedly to the surface of the pool, obviously having fun making a fool of himself. "Hey, why are you wet?"

"I KNOW THERE'S GODDAMNED WATER!" Kurogane roars, stomping towards Fai. Seeing both men run around, trying to kill and annoy each other, I can't help but smile. Anyone could see that deep down, they care about one another. And then, suddenly, I know what to say to Syaoran. It's both something I mean and something that will make him understand what I saw about Kurogane.

"Syaoran-kun…" I start, looking at him. He looks back, curious. I take a deep breath. "I know you're strong. But you must use your strength to protect those you love, okay?" The sentence seems benign. There's a pause in which we only stare at each other, but I soon hear Syaoran suck in a breath and his eyes widen in surprise and recognition.

"Aisha-chan…" he says slowly, as though afraid that he'll startle me if he speaks too fast. "Did you… too?" I nod and give him a small smile.

"Yes. He knows," I add, glancing towards Kurogane. "I just wanted you to know too." Then I look back at him. "If you want to talk, I'm here… besides, I'm not sure he's a very talkative person when it comes to that, don't you think?" After the first surprise, Syaoran smiles.

"No, I don't think so," he admits. "But he's very kind." I grimace.

"Just don't tell him that," I caution. "You might give him a heart attack." Kurogane doesn't seem the type to pride himself in being kind. This, for some reason, makes Syaoran laugh.

"Right," he agrees, but something in his eyes tells me he's already done it. Now it's my turn to laugh.

"But seriously," I say once our laughter has died down somewhat, "can you promise me that? That you'll use your strength only for that purpose?" We both glance at Sakura, who has been observing us for a while, visibly not understanding what we are talking about. When she sees our eyes on her, she shies away a little. I'm thinking about the possible risks of this operation; if we're lucky, they'll let us take the book out and we'll be out of this world before they realize it's been stolen. If we're not… That's why I want him to promise. Protect the princess before the feather.

"Yes," Syaoran answers determinedly, looking back to me. "Yes, I definitely will." I return his fiery glance.

"Then you promised," I say, satisfied and happy. He nods.

"And you, Aisha-chan?" he replies. I grin.

"Always," I say. We both smile. We are linked by this promise that Kurogane's father gave us.

"Strawberry-chan! Help meeeeee!" Fai calls, running away from a disgruntled Kurogane, who is now wielding Souhi. I sigh, then shake my head hopelessly as I march towards them.

"Can't they calm down?" I growl as Syaoran follows me, chuckling. Sakura shuffles after us, seeming more worried than we are. "I am not your mother!" I yell as I chase down the two men. "I shouldn't have to do this!" Seriously, can't they grow up? Just when I thought they were mature enough to handle things on their own… it's a miracle Fai survived the six months in Yama without me.

We soon arrive, breathless, at the foot of the large flight of stairs leading to the library's doors. It's taken me many altercations to convince Kurogane to drop his sword, which Mokona swiftly sucked back in, and to keep Fai in check. Now I'm busy catching my breath as we wait for the kids to catch up. Girdles aren't nearly as restricting as corsets, but right now my ribs still feel compressed to their limit.

"I can feel it," Mokona tells us. "Even though it's weak, I can feel Sakura's feather.

"That's… great…" I pant, looking up to the library's tall towers. I don't think I'll ever get used to such big monuments, no matter how many Fai makes it his duty to show me. Then Syaoran takes the first step onto the stairs. His eyes are coldly determined again, because now his goal is close, and he can see it. I look back; the golden bridge has disappeared as we had stepped off of it, cutting off all escape. I wonder if it will reappear as easily as it did the first time.

As we start making our way towards the doors, an unnatural wind picks up in spirals around us. It gets stronger and stronger, until we have to camp our stances and shield ourselves from its fury. Syaoran uses his body to protect Sakura. Before I see them, I sense them; creatures of magic, very powerful. It's only when they land in front of us, growling and fuming, that I realize what they must be.

The watchdogs.

Towering above us like giants, baring their teeth in our direction, wings sprouting from their backs, their bodies covered in flames. I start to panic. Surely we've been discovered. Someone suspects something. Otherwise, why would the watchdogs be here? And I suddenly doubt our escapade will be as easy as once planned.

"So, how will we be able to go inside?" Fai asks naively, flashing a smile. The mage doesn't seem to be nervous at all.

"Yeah, we need to borrow a book," Mokona adds, just as innocent. I want to tell them to shut up. Don't they know lying will only make it worst? But, to my surprise, the watchdogs stop growling and slowly shift sideways to let us pass. We step warily between them, except for Fai, who skips along in front of us, singing with Mokona. I breathe a sigh of relief when they are out of my sight.

"Those are the watchdogs?" Kurogane asks, looking back.

"Yeah," Fai answers, doing like him. "Somehow they seem frightening."

"And a bit angry…" Sakura adds worriedly. I look back as well. The beasts are still staring at us, their eyes yellow flames.

"A bit?" I echo. "They're frikin' terrifying." I haven't used Hanshin slang in weeks – I didn't even use it much at home – but now it slips easily between my teeth. I wonder if it's because I'm nervous.

"Scared, Raki-chan?" Fai teases. I scowl.

"No," I say plainly, but that's a bit of a lie.

"I think they might know…" Mokona says thoughtfully, confirming my thoughts. I look nervously to the others. Syaoran returns my gaze. I can tell we're both imagining all the ways to get out of this mess. Kurogane's eyes are darting from the stairs to the watchdogs, probably calculating the fastest way past them if they attack. "… that Kurogane is a bad guy," the fur-ball finishes smugly. "By his face." The ninja's face goes blank for a second, and then he's running after Mokona, up the stairs to the library, roaring threats as he goes.

"Hey, we need to keep quiet in a library!" Fai reminds them, waving them goodbye. He seems to be having the time of his life.

"Can you at least pretend to be responsible?" I ask, hopelessly shaking my head. He grins.

"Sometimes I pretend," he admits. "But it's so much fun not to!" I sigh. We take one last look at the looming building above us. Anything in there could be a trap. Anything could get the watchdogs on our trails. We can only hope to be lucky.

"Let's do this," Syaoran says, penetrating the library after Kurogane. We follow.

XxX

One of the clerks eyes me oddly, but I can't help but stare. I thought the previous library was big, but this one is gigantic. There are flying chairs and plates everywhere, bringing books directly to you without demanding any effort on your part. The whole place seems to be carved out of marble. I look at the statues of dragons around us, looking down at us. I get the weird feeling that they will suddenly animate if we try anything fishy. As if the watchdogs weren't enough.

"We'd like to borrow the Book of Memories," Syaoran tells the clerk at the front desk as we stand slightly away. She looks at him and blinks slowly.

"You cannot borrow that book," she answers calmly, her hands resting on the desk in front of her. Her hair is so blond it seems white, and her eyes are a cold blue, like northern glaciers. Her entire body gives me the impression of being carved out of ice. The magical energy coming from her is cold and solid. I decide to call her Icy.

"We can't borrow that book?" Syaoran repeats, disappointed. Icy nods.

"The original Book of Memories has been designated as one of Recort's national treasures," she explains coolly, "so no, you cannot take it out of the library."

"That's a problem," Fai whispers to Sakura's ear, not far from me. I shrug. I can't say I hadn't planned this eventuality. After all, we knew the book was considered a national treasure. They're bound to be careful with it.

Syaoran quickly regains his composure. "Then can I take a look at the book?" he asks.

"If Syaoran can take a look, then he will be able to get the feather, I guarantee it," Mokona whispers to a Sakura that seems more worried by the second. I wonder if it's because she wants her feather back, or if she's afraid of what we might have to do to get it, now that our first plan was foiled. What Syaoran might have to do.

"That is not possible," Icy says sternly, unmoving. I almost expect her to turn into an ice statue right in front of us. Her colleague, a somewhat younger girl with brown pigtails and glasses, smiles apologetically.

"Eh?" Syaoran exclaims, now obviously shocked. I admit I hadn't thought they wouldn't even let us see it. I think we may have to do something drastic now.

"The Book of Memories contains a vast amount of power," the other clerk explains. "In the past, several people have tried to steal it." Icy stands up, to better stare us down, it seems.

"But every time, the watchdogs at the entrance, the library's security system, has caught every single one of them," she tells us, and each of her words drops like a warning. It's almost as though she suspects our intention.

"That's why, since the year 3004 of Recort's chronicles, inspection of the original Book of Memories is no longer allowed," the other one explains with a smile, visibly not so cautious. I can't see Syaoran's face, but I can almost hear the wheels turning. I'm sure he's thinking of what to do. I sigh. There's only one option I can think of. "But there's a copy that you can look at," the clerk offers, steering us into the right direction. There's a small pause.

"Thank you," Syaoran says, then starts walking obediently in the direction we've been pointed to.

"We'll find it ourselves, thank you," I tell the clerk, knowing that we're not really going to look at the copy. She nods and lets us by, then hurries back to her other duties. I catch Icy's gaze as I walk away, and I swear she sent me a warning glare.

As I predicted, we don't follow the clerk's instructions; instead, we walk until we find ourselves in a small open courtyard with a fountain and benches. Without consulting each other, we form a circle. This feels almost like a war council. Everyone is sullen, the eagerness sucked right out of us. Sakura is the first to speak.

"They wouldn't even let us look," she says, looking worriedly at the ground. Fai sighs, his shoulders rising and lowering dramatically.

"That can be a problem," he agrees.

"What do you plan to do, Syaoran-kun?" Mokona asks. We all turn to him. He's only a child, but he's the leader of our troupe when it comes to the feathers. He's looking down, and I can't see his eyes. But if I could, I bet I would see a cold flame dancing in them.

"I will get it back, no matter what," he says strongly.

"How?" the ninja asks. There's no doubt in this question; we all know Syaoran will think of a way. This is simply a way for him to tell us what it is. We are all hanging to his lips when he looks up.

"We'll steal it," he declares determinedly. Mokona and Fai smile, Sakura gasps and Kurogane's eyes suddenly light up, interested. I shrug and nod, already passing the tip of my tongue on my teeth in anticipation. From what I can see, we're all in. What's a few flying watchdogs against us?


	37. Reasons for Running

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TRC**

**Sorry about the wait guys, but with school and everything else started this will probably become my regular pace. This semester promises to be hell. :S**

**For those of you interested, I posted some drawings I did of Aisha. Nothing's amazing; I just do it for fun. And the pencil's sill pale, unfortunately. Here's the link to the album:**

**.com/albums/xx272/Lydiastone/CCI09232010_**

**Enjoy this chapter!**

**XxX**

I let my fingers brush against the binding of hundreds of book as we stroll through the library, trying to act nonchalant. But in truth Mokona, perched on Syaoran's head, is guiding us towards Sakura's feather.

"I don't see any interesting books, how about you?" Fai asks, dramatically turning his head from side to side. All the shelves look the same here. It must be easy to get lost in this sea of books.

"Me… me neither," Sakura says, visibly more nervous than the mage. Kurogane looks away, scowling.

"You're obviously lying," he says sternly. Fai turns to face him, pointing to his exaggerated smile.

"Do I look like I'm lying?" he asks innocently.

"It's written all over your face," the ninja grunts.

"But I'm smiling from ear to ear!" the mage protests, making his mouth stretch wider to prove his point.

"You're too happy," I chip in. I agree with Kurogane; it's obvious that he's lying. Suddenly, he grabs the ninja's cheeks and starts forcefully stretching them into a smile.

"You too, Kuro-tan, give a smile, give a smile-" he sings. My eyes widen as I imagine the tortures running through Kurogane's head. But I can't help but join in.

"Yes, smile like you did yesterday!" I say. I hear the ninja mumble something that sounds comically like 'smirk', and can't stop myself from doing just that. Fai is still singing, not seeing his death approaching. I have to stop smiling when it's obvious Kurogane's fury will be real.

"You wouldn't want to look suspicious!" Fai tells the ninja. All we can do is stare in horror and peer in closer to see Kurogane's face. His mouth is contorted into a straight line, his eyes glaring, several veins throbbing on his forehead. Slowly, his face is turning red. "Wah…! You do look like your lying!" Fai exclaims joyfully. His face still caught in Fai's forced grimace, Kurogane holds a hand towards us.

"White manjuu, hand me my sword," he growls menacingly. I start fearing for Fai, but I'm mostly annoyed that our cover could be so easily blown by an idiot.

"You can't, silly," Fai says, still smiling, "if you carry your sword openly they'll kick us out." He finally lets go of the ninja's face.

"THEN WHY ARE YOU MAKING SO MUCH NOISE!" Kurogane roars, and before I know it my hand is shooting sideways and twisting the ninja's ear mercilessly.

"Right now, you're the one making noise," I remind him. "And if you dare blow our covers, I won't be so kind." At this point, if they find out we're trying to steal the book, we'll be arrested like criminals and thrown in jail. They might even send the watchdogs after us. Someone might get hurt. And, make no mistake, I like Kurogane and I feel bad for him, but if he brings any of this on us, I will be pissed. It's like I'm the only one who realizes there is actual danger associated with what we are about to do. I have the feeling that the watchdogs aren't the only things guarding this place. I finally let go of the ninja's ear. He sends me a puzzled glance, but seems to understand.

"But," Sakura says, worried, "is it okay to be here while the library's open?"

"They'll have increased security measures at night," Syaoran explains, "and we won't attract much attention while the library is open."

"If they catch us here at night, no matter our excuse, they'll throw us in jail for sure," I add.

"And if we go somewhere we're not supposed to go, we can just say that we got lost, or something like that," Fai says, looking in all the world like this is the most amusing thing in the world. Then he grabs my hand and starts dragging me along. I protest vehemently, but he manages to get himself heard over my voice. "See, if we just walk along like this-" he pulls me closer - "we're not suspicious at all, isn't that right, honey?"

"I'm not… Let me go or I scream!" I threaten. He just smiles.

"Now, now, we don't scream in a library, love," he teases, not letting go of me.

"Help!" I whisper to the others as Fai drags me away. They just follow us, with expression ranging from amused to shocked.

"Turn right," I hear Mokona say.

"Okay," Syaoran answers, and I hear his footsteps disappearing. Fai and I have to go back in order to take the same passage the others have disappeared into. I glare periodically at the mage, who either ignores me or answers me with an amused smile.

"Next, turn left." That's what Syaoran does, and we follow.

"Kuro-sama," I call, suddenly nervous. I can hear by Mokona's voice that we are getting close. The ninja turns his head to look at me. "I'm not limping anymore, am I?"

Kurogane looks at Fai, clearly signaling him to let go. I sigh in relief as he does. I take a few steps in the ninja's direction, and he nods satisfactorily.

"I can't see it," he tells me, and I nod with a smile.

"Good," I say. "Because you never know, we may have to run." He observes me critically.

"If we do, don't fall behind," he grunts, then turns away. I smile. For Kurogane, that's equivalent to telling me to be careful. I've learnt that over time.

I'm nervous. It's not that I'm feeling guilty – I knew that when we'd grab the book it would be thievery one way or another. From my point of view, we're taking back what was Sakura's to begin with. But I'm scared of what could happen if we fail. I shake my head. No, we're not going to fail. I think again of the watchdog's burning yellow eyes and bite my lip. I won't let them hurt us.

"Stop." I look to the wall in front of us. "Yeah," the fur-ball continues, "the feeling is definitely stronger here." I see his eyes open, but I still don't understand how the feather can lead us here.

"This is a dead end," I say cautiously, not wanting to hurt Mokona.

"There's nothing here," Kurogane adds, looking around.

"But I feel it here," Mokona insists. I sigh. There is magic energy coming from the wall, maybe a little more than usual, but in a place like Recort it's hard to tell if it means anything. There's so much magic here, coming from everywhere.

"Here, I'll try," Fai offers, walking over to the wall and running his hand against it. I remember Koryo, in which he did almost the same thing. That was the time he called me a witch for the first time. That was my first realization that I had magic powers.

The mage's hand runs over the rock wall, then onto the bookshelf directly to its right. "Ah," he says, interest piercing through his voice.

"What is it?" I ask. He turns to me with a teasing smile.

"What do you think?" he replies, stepping to the side. Frowning in concentration I approach the bookshelf, silently thinking that this is no time for a lesson. But I don't argue, because I'm curious. At first I only touch the wall with my fingertips, but soon my palm is laying flat against it. There's magic here, but it's hard to tell what it does. Then, remembering Fai's movement, I run my hand over to the bookshelf. To my surprise, it doesn't feel like I've changed surfaces. Not magically, I mean. I dig my fingers in the corner between the stone and the dark wood of the shelf.

"They're… linked?" I say, unsure of how to describe it. Upon further inspection, the magic presence does feel different on both surfaces, but it's almost as thought they're stitched together. "The wall and the bookshelf. Like stitching," I explain, under everyone's puzzled glance. Only Fai smiles like he understands what I mean. I think I see a bit of pride in his eyes.

"Good," he congratulates me, then turns to the others. "It's a magic barrier," he explains. I still don't see what that has to do with the wall and bookshelf being linked, but I shut up. Knowing Fai, he'll explain it sooner or later. "Kuro-chii, move the bookshelf over that way," he invites the ninja, mimicking the action of the shelf pivoting on its axis.

"Why me?" the ninja replies gruffly.

"Please Daddy!" Mokona squeals in Fai's voice. Then he turns and takes on Kurogane's curt tone. "Well, if it's what Mommy wants, then there's no need for consideration…" The men's reactions are opposites; where Fai smiles dumbly, Kurogane glares at the fur-ball, and several veins start throbbing. His fists clench and unclench, as though he's deciding whether or not to hurt Mokona. Fai laughs.

"Here, why not vent your anger on this bookshelf…" he offers again. This time, Kurogane doesn't need any prompting.

"Bastard!" he yells, punching his open palm with a menacing thump, then pushes against the bookshelf with all of his pent-up frustration. In no time, the shelf has shifted a good six or seven feet. I stare, impressed at his strength. But the sense of slow dissolving turns my attention back to the wall. The space between our bookshelf and the adjacent one has melted away to show the entrance to a subterranean cave. I don't understand; the wall seemed perfectly solid when I touched it…

"The bookshelves in this corridor formed part of a magical shield," Fai explains matter-of-factly. "When we moved the bookshelf, the spell was broken, and what lay beyond the barrier was then revealed." Which explains the stitching between the wall and bookshelf.

"That's unbelievable!" Sakura exclaims, impressed. The mage shrugs.

"It's very easy to understand if you've followed a bit of magical theory," he says modestly, smiling. It's that smile more than his words that convince me he's lying. I guess it all depends on your definitions of 'very easy' and 'a bit' – but, as far as I'm concerned, I know 'a bit' of magical theory and I wouldn't have been able to figure that out in years. Plus, he's wearing that smile. The one that's so fake I want to hit him.

Kurogane's noticed it too. I can tell by the way he looks at Fai.

"It's hard to admit it's that easy," I comment, looking curiously at the gap that now stretches between the wall and shelf. Until now, magic had always seemed confusing and elusive. Fai nods.

"It's that easy," he confirms. Then his expression turns serious and he looks away, body tensing like a dog on a trail. "But I'm afraid that the watchdogs may be able to sense that it's been tampered with and pursue us." Syaoran looks to Mokona for confirmation.

"Yeah," the fur-ball nods. "Sakura's feather's in there." I look once again to the cave gaping in the wall. There doesn't seem to be any light inside the cave; the only lighting is the one pouring in from the library. Large shards of rock protrude from the ground and hang from the ceiling, giving me the impression of teeth - an open mouth waiting to swallow us. I see that the ground is distinctly following a soft slope downwards. I gulp. Shit. We're really going underground.

The others hurry to file into the cave, but I hesitate, one foot inside and the other one out. I know it's foolish; things aren't more dangerous because they're underground. But I can almost feel the pressure on my chest already, as I finally take a deep breath and follow. The ninja turns around and stops, waiting for me. I give him a small smile as I reach him, thankful. He lets me go before him and then closes the march. Syaoran is leading. I don't know if anyone can sense my nervousness, but I'm not about to make it obvious by falling behind. So I'm grateful for Kurogane's presence behind me, stopping me if the thoughts of slowing down or going back become overwhelming.

The more we move forward, the heavier the air. Soon we turn, and lose the light from the library. It's so dark I can barely make out the shapes of the others in front of me. But then natural stone gives its place to smooth gray granite, and the walls become bordered by long, slithering dragon statues mirroring the ones in the atrium. Behind each dragon is an alcove, and from each alcove emanates a soft green light. I can now see the others, but the only sound is the one of our footsteps on the stone and our breathing in the damp air. The weight on my chest is still there, real this time, and every muscle in my body is tensing uneasily. The walls don't close around me; I don't feel like I'm choking. But I'm not comfortable here. I have the feeling that something should've happened by now.

"For something that is supposed to be such a precious treasure, the entrance doesn't seem to have too many watch-beasts," Kurogane comments, voicing my thoughts. Fai laughs knowingly.

"I don't think that's the case," he says lightly. That's when I hear it; the soft cracking of rock, all around us. I look, and there they are. The dragon statues, slowly moving from their positions in the alcoves, their eyes now burning yellow. "Look, they're coming," the mage continues with a smirk, and now everyone sees it. Ripping themselves violently from the walls, the dragons dive on us, swirling like snakes. They don't attack right away, preferring to herd us into a circle first, cutting us off both from going forward and running back. Their eyes seem to be burning into my very soul, but I don't let that distract me. They must be designed to scare people off.

"Hime, please step back," Syaoran orders, shielding her with one arm. His eyes won't budge from the creatures around us.

"O-okay," she stammers as Mokona jumps into her arms. Kurogane is already in a fighting stance, as though inviting them to come any closer. I also widen my stance and take a deep breath. I lock gazes with one of the dragons. It hisses menacingly, and then they all dive.

I lift my skirts and aim for the space between its eyes. When my foot connects I hear a crash, and a crater appears where my foot used to be. So the rock is soft… The dragon hisses, but I don't give it time to retaliate; my arm is already pounding against its neck, furiously, until it breaks off. I back away for a breath, and notice that both Syaoran and Kurogane are invested in their own battles. Sakura and Fai stand safely in the middle, looking on. It's because they're under the impression that they're safe that Fai doesn't notice the dragon swerving past an overwhelmed Kurogane towards them. My heart doesn't have the time to start pounding. I jump.

"Syaoran-kun, that's so cool!" the mage chants as I land directly on the dragon that was threatening him, completely oblivious. "Hyuu!" The beast jerks, sending me crashing to the ground. I roll to my feet and viciously sandwich its neck between my elbow and knee. Now my heart is pounding fast. There's no way I'm loosing Fai to any demonic creature. Not again.

"Hey, didn't that sound like a whistle?" the mage exclaims with a huge smile, turning around to face Kurogane and me. "Kuro-tan, Pinky-chan, listen!"

"Shut up!" I yell, kicking a beast away. I'm angry with him. For letting that monster even remotely close to him and Sakura. For putting his life in danger without fighting back. For making me do all the work.

"Shouldn't you be helping out?" Kurogane replies, using his elbow to dig a hole in one of the dragon's necks. Fai turns away, frowning, determinedly practicing his whistle.

"Hyuu! Oh, you three look like you have it under control," he says lighting. "Hyuu! Hyuu!" There doesn't seem to be any end to it. And now more dragons are joining the others.

I finally back away, panting. The rock may be soft but I still feel bruises forming all over my body from hitting it. I know that we won't be able to hang on much longer, and the dragon supply won't dry out. I don't think that they'd kill us; they'd want the thieves alive, if anything. But being caught is not an option.

Sensing our fatigue, the creatures pull back. They loom around us, their yellow eyes gleaming in the darkness. My suspicions are confirmed; they don't want to hurt us, if possible. Their goal is only to stop us so that the authorities can pick us up when the alert has been given.

"Wah! Seems like we're trapped!" Fai exclaims naively, like this isn't a potential disaster. My eyes are desperately searching for a weak point, an escape from this situation, until I realize that all the dragons seem to be floating in the air. Nothing blocks the ground. If we're fast enough…

"Run!" I suddenly scream, pushing Syaoran and Sakura in the right direction. My hand finds Kurogane's coat and I pull. "Run, run, run, RUN!" There's only a millisecond of confusion, and then everybody understands. We dash under the creatures, running as though much more than our lives depended on it.

"Well, it seems like running is faster than engaging the enemy," Fai comments, ducking under a stone dragon. I pretend not to hear the sickening crash of stone against stone as they chase after us, crashing into walls and each other to reach us. I lift my skirts with both hands and try to stretch my lungs to accommodate more air. I'm running.

Although I was the last to leave, I soon find myself dashing past Kurogane and Fai, pushing Sakura along because, despite being dragged by Syaoran, I don't think she's going fast enough. Under our feet the granite once again turns to bumpy, unequal stone. I see a light in front of us and run for it.

"Mokona!" Syaoran yells, seeing it too.

"Sakura's feather is getting closer!" Mokona answers, fear in his voice. What I thought was light coming from a room turns out to be an entity of its own. A bright, shimmering wall of light. It seems almost liquid, and I have no doubt that we'll be able to pass right through it. Over the shuffle of feet rises the mad hisses of the stone creatures, too close to my liking. I speed up, glancing over my shoulder to Fai and Kurogane. They're still out of range of the dragons, for which I am grateful.

The light gets brighter as it gets closer, and we run into it without having the time to think. Between a strange light and sharp teeth, I'd pick the light any day.

It tickles a bit when we pass through the light, and for a second I can't see a thing but white. But all the hisses have vanished, which means that the dragons can't follow us in here. Then the light dims a bit, and I look down at my feet in surprise. I'm standing on sand. My eyes search frantically, but my worries are unfounded. Everyone is here. I look back; only dunes of sand, as far as the eye can see. Only a small ripple in the air breaks the desert scenery. Probably the portal we just went through. I barely have the time to wonder how in the world we went from a subterranean cave to the middle of a desert, when I hear Syaoran gasp.

"The ruins of Clow country?" he exclaims in disbelief. I turn around to see two huge towers of stone the colour of sand. They taper at the top, and look vaguely like wings. One of the bricks forming them seems to be ten times my size. I look up to them, my breath still short from the cave. There's something odd about those towers, if only the fact that I have trouble believing they're man-made; magic seeps through the stone, clearly claiming them as its own. And then there's the fact that, despite the bright, cloudless sky above us, the weight on my chest hasn't withdrawn.

"Clow is the country Sakura and Syaoran came from, right?" Mokona asks from Fai's shoulder.

"Yes…" Sakura answers, looking up in disbelief to the towers. Syaoran frowns, visibly trying to understand this.

"Have we… come back to Clow country?" he asks in a whisper. I shake my head. The feeling from the light was nothing like the strange, uplifting feeling from Mokona's transport spells. And my body whispers to me that we are still underground.

"Mokona didn't transport us," the fur-ball confirms, shaking his head. Suddenly, Fai's voice rings from behind me.

"This is a memory," he says calmly, looking down to the sand at his feet. Strangely, his face is devoid of all smile. "A memory inside the Book of Memories. The book is causing it to appear with the power of Sakura-chan's feather. It's also able to set traps to protect the book using Sakura-chan's memories…" His face, his tone of voice… it all seems so strange. So… unlike him. He feels so far away. I have to say something to bring him back here.

"Wow, Fai, that's so great!" Mokona exclaims, cutting me off. "You figured it all out!" The mage's head snaps back up, and he smiles feebly. I sigh. At least I can thank Mokona for snapping him out of his seriousness.

"It's another type of magic," the mage explains. "If you learn a bit of theory, you could do that just like me." I frown at his strange emphasis on the word 'theory.' He did it back at the wall, too. But if it's only theory, then what he says makes no sense.

"Humm…" I start, debating whether or not to attack the subject. One glance to Fai convinces me that it's not worth it. Not to see him fall far away again. "So, let's go check those ruins out, huh?" I offer. Syaoran is already making his way there, trudging on the sand. Sakura follows him eagerly, Mokona on their heels. A soft cloud of sand rises behind them. Nobody else moves. Then I look back at Fai, and remember that I'm angry.

I slap him upside the head. "Watch out next time, will you!" I hiss. "I had to save your neck out there!" Fai looks back at me with puzzled eyes, rubbing the back of his head painfully.

"Ow?" he asks.

"One of those things nearly has you, and you're standing there like an idiot playing cheerleader! So of course I had to save your ass! And you don't even notice!" I exclaim, glaring at him. He just smiles dumbly. I want to slap that smile off of his face.

"Really? Well, good thing you were there, wasn't it sweetie?" he says lightly, like he doesn't really care. My whole body stiffens. My fists clench until my knuckles turn white.

"I. Am. Not. Your. Sweetie!" I hiss. My eyes are pricking. "And you're an idiot!" I turn away and start marching heavily up the dune to the ruins. Really, what's his problem? I'm just trying to save his life, and he acts like I shouldn't have. I sigh, and my heart clenches painfully. He's an idiot. He's even more of an idiot because he's convinced that we can't see right through him. He thinks we don't know, that we don't even suspect. But we know he's a liar. He's just an idiot liar with a fake smile. I shouldn't care. So why do I feel the urge to look back?

I force myself to calm down when Kurogane joins me. I hear Fai's feet shuffle behind us, but a safe distance away.

"He said that sensing magic was using magic," I blurt out. Kurogane looks down to me. I look up. "He said that," I insist. He nods. We both know. He was there when Fai explained it all to me.

"He says I'm making too big a deal out of it," the ninja says gruffly, looking out to the ruins, and I know he's confronted the mage about it. I shake my head. Why is he constantly trying to hide everything he does? If he's going to use magic, is it so bad if we know? Or is it…? I look back to Fai, who waves brightly, ignoring the fact that I was obviously angry with him. I force myself to smile back, apologetically. Because I realize that I don't want to be angry with him. And because I know that he lies to himself more than he could ever lie to us.

Kurogane's followed my gaze. He lets out a big gulp of air. I sigh. We're going to let it go, and we both know it. For Fai's sake.

When we finally reach Syaoran and Sakura, they are observing the ruins from their country. Sakura is softly running a hand on the stone.

"So these really are like the ruins in Sakura's country?" Mokona asks curiously. The princess smiles.

"It looks like it," she answers. "There were a lot of people working to excavate the ruins, and they were all good people," she continues, caught in her memories. "But there was one, an archeology teacher who traveled to many different countries; he was an extremely kind person." Syaoran's face grows glum as she says this, and I wonder if she's talking about his father. Of course she wouldn't realize the connection now. I smile softly to the boy, who manages a small, joyless smile in return. Sakura continues her story joyfully. "I would go out to play in the ruins, but my brother would always scold me."

"It was probably dangerous because of the excavation," Fai suddenly appears behind us, smiling. She looks over to him.

"Yeah, that's true, but…" she looks back to the ruins, thoughtful, "why did I always want to go back?" The painful look on Syaoran's face confirms that she would spend those times at the ruins with him. I want to hug him, but I know that to do so now would only embarrass him.

"Let's go further," I say instead, leading the way through the gaping doorway near us. Everyone hesitates and I have to turn around to look at them. "What? We're still here to find the book, aren't we?" They all look at each other, eyes a little wide, as though they had actually forgotten. Then they follow me inside.

The corridors are carved in a winding pattern, going from narrow to wide in the space of a few steps, and then going back to narrow again. I stay carefully in the middle, remembering that this is probably a trap set up by the book itself to ward off thieves. And now, the double weight of stone above me – both the ruins' heavy presence and the ceiling of the real-life cave I know is hiding up there - makes me even more nervous.

"It feels like the ruins emit an incredible energy," Mokona comments. "And the path is so long…!" I grimace. It's a good thing we'll just get transported out of here by Mokona, because running back all the way to the hidden doorway, with the alarms sounding all over the library, doesn't sound too appealing to me. I let Syaoran and Sakura lead the way now, knowing they must know this place much better than I do.

Finally, we stumble upon something that looks like a log, cut in half and turned so as to let its pale center soak the light. It's huge; it nearly towers above Sakura.

"This bench-like thing is huge!" Mokona comments, jumping on it from Fai's head. I notice something shiny on the bench, and tentatively pick it up. I turn it over in my palm, where it fits comfortably. It looks like some sort of sundial, made of light wood circled in bronze. I frown, wondering what it could be doing here.

"It looks like a clock," Fai says, peering over my shoulder. "But it's so small, huh?" I shrug. I have no idea how big a sundial is supposed to be. "Because we're in Sakura-chan's memory, maybe the things emphasized are those who made a strong impression on her," the mage adds, turning over to Sakura to see if she recognizes the small clock. She looks at it for a moment, perplexed, then shakes her head. I turn to Syaoran, but something in his eyes stops me from asking outright; he recognized the sundial. And now he's looking at Sakura with a mix of surprise and hurt, his eyes wide and questioning.

"Let's go, Sakura!" Mokona exclaims suddenly, jumping into the princess's hands. She catches him by reflex, taken aback by the unexpected gesture.

"Ah, okay!" she answers. Now she's leading the way, Fai close behind. Syaoran stays back only seconds, then rushes back to Sakura's side. I look again to the sundial resting in my palm, and wonder why it made such an impression on Sakura. Judging by Syaoran's reaction, it had something to do with him.

I carefully place the small dial on the wooden bench and turn to the others. I won't ask. Walking into someone's memory without intending to is one thing. Asking questions is another.

We follow Syaoran and Mokona through the corridor and down a flight of stairs. Controlling my breathing is now a challenge of all instants, but at least it distracts me from thinking about how deep in the earth's entrails we must be by now. I focus on simply putting one foot in front of the other, then breathing in. Put the next foot forward, breathe out. Stay straight. Don't stumble. Things are not more dangerous because they're underground.

"I can feel the surge of power from the feather down here," Mokona announces as I finally see an end to the long stairway. Another sigh of relief. At least now we'll stop going deeper in. I don't think I've ever been so far under the earth.

We walk into a huge circular room, the walls all in sand-coloured stone, the floor marked with a large circle, in which is shown an intricate design of wings. But no sooner have I seen this that the earth begins to shake. Magic forces swirl all around us, convincing me that this is not natural. Rubbles rain on us from the distant ceiling and a light pours in from the circle on the floor. Syaoran pushes Sakura back.

"What?" Mokona shrieks, hiding in Fai's neck. The wings split apart, and the part of the floor where the design stood now glides open like a door, revealing a black hole. Slowly, the rumble comes to an end, and the ground stops shaking. We all stare at it for a moment.

"It's pitch dark, isn't it?" Fai comments lightly, leaning over. Where the door was a gaping mouth, this is the stomach ready to swallow us. I can feel something waiting for us there; not threatening, exactly, but waiting. Ominously. "Do you remember where this leads?" Fai asks Sakura, who shakes her head slowly. Her wide green eyes are glued to the invisible bottom of the hole, visibly worried.

"No," she says softly.

"But I can feel the power of Sakura's feather coming from that place," Mokona says. I look down once more. Going even deeper in the bowels of the earth doesn't seem like a very good idea, but that's where the feather is. So we'll go.

As though confirming my thoughts, Syaoran steps determinedly to the edge of the hole, so close that for a moment I'm afraid he'll fall in.

"Syaoran-kun!" Sakura yells, probably thinking the same thing. But the boy doesn't lose his balance.

"I'm going," he says strongly, squaring off his stance. The princess runs to him and grabs his arm.

"But you don't know what's in there!" she protests. "I'll go!"

"Please let me protect you, hime," Syaoran says, gently pushing her back. As he says this, his gaze flickers to me, and I nod. Our common promise flows between us like a current, linking us.

"But!" Sakura exclaims, refusing to let him go. Syaoran turns to her with a reassuring smile.

"I'll be the one to go," he says gently, but allowing no reply. There's a short silence.

"Why?" she finally asks, looking up to him with shiny eyes. "Why do you do so much to search for my feathers?" The look in the boy's eyes in this instant should have been answer enough. _Because I love you,_ they scream. But I think I'm the only one who can hear them.

Gently, Syaoran pushes Sakura's hand away and looks down the hole. "Please take care of the princess," he tells us. Not surprisingly, Kurogane steps beside him. The boy looks to him curiously.

"The guy who has the sword with the bat design doesn't seem to be in this world," the ninja says gruffly, his first words since we've entered the ruins. "There's no use to being here. We'll get the feather back, so that white manjuu can take us to the next world." I smile. Totally selfish at first, the ninja's words can't quite hide the fact that he wants to do this. He's as much a part of this quest as any one of us.

"Kurogane-san…" Syaoran says, but Kurogane interrupts him.

"Let's go," he orders. Syaoran smiles thankfully.

"Yes!" They jump.

For a moment I think of letting them go without me. Just looking down that hole makes me want to be sick to my stomach. But, as their shapes disappear in the darkness, I find myself lunging after them and smile knowingly.

"Syaoran-kun! Kurogane-san!" Sakura screams, diving for the hole, but Fai's hand stops her.

"Tsk tsk. Both father and son are so troublesome, aren't they?" he says. I look to him with a grin.

"And why is the big sister never mentioned?" I ask, gathering my skirts around me to keep them from flaring up when I fall, and jumping into the darkness. Without looking down. Before I can stop myself. My hesitation seems pointless now. Of course my place is with them.

My fall seems to last forever, until I can't feel that I'm falling anymore. At first I can sense Syaoran and Kurogane's presence under me, but then Syaoran seems to disappear. My fear is only fleeting, as I realize that Kurogane is still there, still falling with me. Something seems to be keeping us back, at least temporarily. Then Kurogane's presence disappears as well. Can it be that the magic in this place is making us land separately? To make us more vulnerable to whatever lies below…

I don't have time to wonder what could be waiting for us, because my feet softly land on something dark. I look around. Everything is pitch black. Then, in a bright flash, the world appears.

Things are still black, but now I can see a huge watchdog, flames burning bright, towering in front of me. I instinctively widen my stance, but the creature doesn't even seem to have noticed me. Its attention is focused on something else.

"Syaoran!" I yell, panicked, recognizing the boy as he is flung to the side by the beast's paw.

"Kid!" I hear Kurogane's voice not far from me. The ninja doesn't seem to have been here much longer than me, as he's not already engaged in the fight. We both run towards Syaoran, and the ninja doesn't express any surprise in seeing me here. I guess he knew from the beginning that I wouldn't let them do anything dangerous without me.

Slowly, painfully, Syaoran starts to rise. He stands up on wobbly legs before we can reach him. His clothes are torn, and there's a cut on his cheek, but that's not what makes me gasp.

His eyes.

His eyes look like they've frozen over.

"Kid?" Kurogane's voice is uncertain now, and he stops. I slow down.

"Syaoran!" I call, looking into his eyes for any sign of him. He glances at me, and I shiver. He's looking at me like I'm a stranger. No, not a stranger. An insect. Something insignificant, unworthy of his attention. Slowly, his eyes turn back to the watchdog, which hasn't moved since he's sent Syaoran flying. His mission is only to protect the book, not to rip us to shreds. Deliberately, the boy that I no longer know wipes a trail of blood off his cheek and steps forward. He leaps, directly onto the watchdog's head, sending a violent kick on its muzzle, then twisting and landing another one on his cheek. Kurogane and I can only stand where we are, looking at him as he strings devastating attack upon devastating attack. I almost find myself pitying the watchdog. Such free violence is not like Syaoran.

But this isn't Syaoran anymore.

Finally, after a howl that sends shivers down my spine, the watchdog collapses. The boy bends down and picks up a book that I haven't noticed yet, but that I recognize immediately: the Book of Memories. Smashing the glass with his bare fist, he grabs the sparkling feather and lets the rest of the book fall negligently on the ground. Syaoran would never have done that. Kurogane finds the force to speak before I do.

"Who are you?" he asks, voicing my question. The energy is the same, but this is not Syaoran. Something's missing. I look to him again.

His eyes are so cold.

Not dead, but not quite alive.

Like ponds frozen over by winter.

The watchdog's body begins to dissolve, and a high-pitch buzz attacks our ears. The alarm. The black around us begins to move, to shift, until finally it bursts open, showing us more darkness. We are now in an unknown cave, the place we really were in while Sakura's feather was playing tricks on us. Fai and Sakura are standing right beside us, just as surprised as we are to find ourselves here. Mokona's eyes are wide open. After barely a second of bewilderment, Sakura jumps forward.

"Syaoran-kun!" she yells. I'm about to stop her, to tell her that this boy isn't Syaoran anymore, but I don't have to. Upon hearing his name, the boy twitches and gasps, and his eyes fly around the room before settling on Sakura. I sigh in relief. His eyes are back to normal.

"Sakura-hime!" he exclaims, looking down at the feather as though wondering why it's there, then quickly handing it to the princess. It slowly penetrates her chest, sending ripples of power around her, and she falls. Syaoran – because it's Syaoran now – catches her gently.

"Syaoran, you're hurt! You need treatment!" Mokona says, but Syaoran shakes his head.

"I'm fine, let's hurry and move on to the next world!" He doesn't seem to remember what happened down there. I still can't understand his transformation. From the look on Kurogane's face, he's just as confused as I am. We both look at Syaoran and I bite my lip. It's hard to describe the weight in my chest, if it's only the fact that we're underground or if it's something else, something much more potent. I'm scared. I'm scared of that other Syaoran. When he looked at me, he looked… like he would have killed me. That conviction overcomes me. If I had been in his way, he would have killed me without a second thought. Crushed me like an insect.

"Kuro-sama? Raki-chan?" Fai asks, his voice oddly serious. His eyes are scanning our faces for any sign as to the reason of our trouble, but I just shake my head. Not now. Maybe never. But especially not now, when the alarm is ringing louder with every second.

"Mokona, hurry," I say. "They'll be here soon." I don't have the energy to yell it out.

"Okay!" Mokona says, and two wings sprout out of his back. He opens his mouth wide, and I wait for the wind, but nothing happens. The fur-ball seems panicked. "Oh no!" he exclaims. "The magic isn't working!" Fai chuckles joylessly.

"We've stolen the book but we can't escape," he realizes out loud. "They must have used magic to block Mokona's dimension teleportation." I look from him to Mokona in surprise. I didn't even know that was… then I mentally slap myself. Of course it's possible to block magic. I'm living proof.

The fur-ball falls back to the ground, and I catch him. "Well then," I say, more calmly than I feel, "we're going to have to run." Without a word, Kurogane picks up Sakura and flings her over his shoulder like a sack. Still seeming a little lost, Syaoran nods.

"Yes!" he exclaims. I look at him one more time. Now is not the time to ask questions. It'll have to wait. But nobody is moving.

"Then go," I order, my voice gaining its usual strength. I look to everyone. We don't have time for this. "Go!" Either they realize I'm right in being impatient or they're too afraid to cross me, because at that very moment everyone animates. Tucking Mokona safely in the crook of my elbow, I run after them. The path is shorter than I remember, maybe because now my feet are eating up the stone as though it barely existed. The rock dragons watch us fly by, hissing, but we don't leave them the chance to attack. Sooner than I had expected, the light of the library dances in front of us. So far, nothing has tried to stop us. Maybe, I think for a wild second, maybe they haven't gotten the chance to set up security measures. My hopes melt when we burst into the light. Growling above us stands a watchdog even bigger than the one protecting the book, if that's possible.

"It looks like they've been waiting for us since the beginning," Fai 'whistles' appreciatively. My teeth clench and I ready myself to jump. Finally aboveground, my chest feels lighter than a feather, and I have no doubt that we can do this. I send my conscience out to the watchdog and smile satisfactorily. It's a being of pure magic, so sensing its next move is easy.

"Jump away!" I order suddenly, before doing so myself. With a loud hiss, the beast opens its mouth and releases a river of flames on us. I land on a bookshelf, Kurogane under me, and Fai is somewhere on the other side of the aisle. But I can't see Syaoran.

"Syaoran-kun!" I hear Fai yell in alarm and strain to find the boy amongst the flames. What he was five minutes ago isn't important. Right now he's Syaoran, and I have to protect him.

"I'm fine!" the boy's voice rings out from somewhere on the same bookshelf as me. The flames are starting to recede. Through the smoke I can make out Syaoran's silhouette on my bookshelf, some way between me and the watchdog. I sigh in relief. The beast spews out more flames to replace the ones we've avoided, and I have to protect my face from the heat, loosing sight of the boy for a second. "The books!" he screams desperately as the flames run up the side of the bookshelf. But when they fizzle away, the books aren't even marred.

"The books aren't affected at all!" Mokona exclaims.

"The watchdog's purpose is to protect the library," Fai explains from the other side of the aisle. "So its magic cannot damage the books."

"That's wonderful," Syaoran sighs gladly and I can't help myself but be relieved. This is the Syaoran I know, who loves books and all mementos of culture. Whoever that other boy was, he's far gone.

"Watch out!" I yell in warning as the beast decides to spit out not a river of flames, but smaller balls of fire to aim at each of us. I don't know exactly how I know what it's thinking, as it doesn't do so in words, but the connection is easy nonetheless. My earlier observations about the secret door and the magic of the memory have made the meanings of some feelings clearer. I feel like a child learning to read a language for which it has still to discover all the keys; my translations are shaky, hesitant, but I'm gradually progressing.

I have to swing down to avoid a flaming projectile, carefully shielding Mokona from the fire, and soon I've joined Kurogane and Fai on the floor. There's nowhere to go here either, as the watchdog's huge frame is blocking the path towards the rest of the library. Avoiding the flames isn't so hard; and without anything to burn, they soon fizzle and die. But I'm afraid we won't be able to keep this up for long if we can't escape to somewhere Mokona can use his teleportation magic.

"Moko-chan, get my whip out!" I say just as Kurogane orders:

"Manjuu, give me my sword!" I frown at him. I don't know how he'll be able to fight with Sakura on his shoulder, but I don't ask. The fur-ball opens his mouth wide, but once again nothing happens.

"No good!" he cries. "It won't come out!"

"Looks like this type of magic has been blocked too…" Fai says matter-of-factly, but I want to burst. Not only are they cutting us off from our exit, they don't even give us a chance to defend ourselves! I know it's their job to think of such things, and technically we're the bad guys, but I hate them. If anyone gets hurt because of this, they'll pay dearly.

"Kid!" Kurogane yells to Syaoran, still perched on the bookshelf. "Hit its leg!"

"Yes!" the boy answers, running along the top of the bookshelf towards the watchdog's leg. His kick is quick and hard, right at the joint. The watchdog doesn't stand a chance, but I don't feel the same feeling of unease I had when the other Syaoran fought. This attack isn't to hurt. This is to protect.

Loosing balance, the watchdog crumbles, knocking down a large bookshelf in its fall.

"Run!" I order for the third time today, using the path made by the fallen bookshelf to circle the watchdog. Syaoran and Kurogane are already in front of me, but Fai is desperately lingering behind. I turn around, catching the mage by the arm and pushing him in front of me. "Hurry up!" I growl, shoving him forward. I'm not sure because of all the commotion, but I think I hear him laugh.

The alarm rings louder than ever. Suddenly, we hear Icy's voice boom across the library.

"The people who took the Book of Memories are trying to escape. I repeat: the thieves are trying to escape. Do not let them out of the library!"

"Kid! Run ahead!" Kurogane calls back, and it takes me a moment to realize he's talking to me. I look once more at Fai, who smiles reassuringly. He's no longer falling back, but I don't want to lose sight of any of them. "Kid!" The ninja's tone is urgent, and I know he must have a good reason for this. Nodding, I speed up until I get to his level. "Clear the way," he grunts, using his chin to point out the sea of books in front of us, people still walking through aisles and looking around to find the source of the commotion. Time is of the essence now: we can't afford to be slowed down by taking a wrong turn or bumping into people. And I'm the fastest runner. So I nod.

"Move out!" I scream, startling two studious-looking boys in front of me before running past them. I study each passage before engaging myself in it, trying to find the way we came from, making sure we don't get lost. I have to hold out my skirts with one hand and Mokona with the other, and my girdle is pressing hard against my ribs. But I don't stop. I look back often to check on the others, and everything seems to be fine. I soon recognize the way towards one of the side doors.

Because I turn back so often, I'm the first one to notice them. Five girls in black, flying on what appears to be small winged platforms and wielding wands. They wear the same uniform as the clerks, so there's no doubt in my mind that they're here to stop us. I slow down. Now that there's no people to clear out or turns to take, there's no way I'm running in front of everyone like a coward. One of the girl's wand lights up in blue sparks.

"Watch it!" I cry out as the first ray of light shoots out towards Fai. It explodes on contact of the floor, and before I know what I'm doing I'm running back towards the others, my heart pounding. This magic won't kill us, but if it hits any of us it's over. We can't drag one more unconscious person and get out of here. And I'm not letting any one of us stay behind.

"An exit!" Syaoran exclaims in relief as we see the light of day pouring in through an arched doorway. Now I'm in the back again, making sure no one falls behind. The explosions rain behind us, but by some miracle we've been able to stay out of the girls' reach. I start to limp slightly again, to the point where I can feel it. I haven't run this distance in a long time, and not after my injury. Now there's a slow throbbing through my right thigh. I try my best not to favour my leg, but that's a mistake; trying to avoid a burst of light from behind me I land badly on my right leg, and the shock runs like lightning through my ankle to my thigh, all the way to the pit of my stomach. I stumble, clutching my leg. For a second I think my wound's open again, but the skin is whole under my fingers. I close my eyes. God, it hurts.

"Aisha!" Mokona shrieks in my arms.

"Aisha-chan!" It's Syaoran, calling my name. I open my eyes. A ray of light explodes beside me, too close. Almost as fast as it shot up, the pain recedes to a sustainable ache, and I start running again, but the damage is done. They're going to catch me. I throw Mokona towards the others. "Go!" I order. He obeys, sending me a worried glance. The others are slowing down.

"No!" I scream. "Run!" I know I'm going to get caught. But they have to leave. Their efforts to catch us only confirm that once they do, we won't be allowed the luxury to escape. I can't do this to any of them. Sakura needs those feathers. Syaoran has to look for them and care for her. Fai can never stop, lest that man finds him, and Kurogane has to go back to Tomoyo-hime. For one second, my heart hurts. Can I let them go? I won't let them stay with me. But at the same time…

I'm scared to get left behind. Again. At the thought of it, my heart screams.

Not again!

My conscience stretches behind me, and something, a deep, primal fear, snaps. I hear the roar of fire and screams of pain, but I don't turn around to look. Tears pricking in my eyes, I'm running again. Fai's eyes are wide when he catches me, with fear or surprise I don't know. But no sooner do I run into him that I'm pulling him by the sleeve, clutching his wrist like I'm afraid to let go, until I realize that it's precisely what I'm afraid of.

We don't exchange a word as we run towards the exit, but I can't hear the girls chasing us anymore. I don't really want to know what happened to them, although the others are still sending me stunned glances. All I want to do is get out of here, despite the throbbing in my leg.

When we burst out into the sunlight, Kurogane stops abruptly in front of me. I look over his shoulder and gasp. The pool is no longer the calm, mirror-like pond that it was when we stepped in; now it's thrashing like an angry sea, swirling in shades of dark blue and green. I don't think the bridge will appear again this time. But something else is wrong…

"They've flooded the passage!" Mokona exclaims. The angry buzz of more explosions suddenly appears behind us, and more girls fly out the door towards us. I look again to the pool and frown. This isn't water.

"Jumping is our only choice," Kurogane says, already preparing to put his plan to execution. This announcement makes a shiver snake down my spine, not only because we'll have to swim. Because what is left of water below us screams out a warning so clear is would be stupid to disregard it.

"No! Wait!" I order, putting an arm out in front of Kurogane before he jumps. "This isn't water!" Fai gazes thoughtfully at the pool and, in one swift movement, throws his hat in the crashing waves. No sooner does it touch the liquid that it melts with a sound of frying grease. The mage 'whistles' appreciatively, but his eyes are grave.

"There's still a lot of magic designed to catch us," he says. The flying girls reach us, their wands buzzing. Just then, a watchdog appears on our other side, blocking any attempt to fly out of here – if we only could. It opens its mouth, ready to spew out some fire. Mokona hides in Fai's collar with a yelp. I bite my lip. There's no escape. Without weapons, we can't expect to win without any losses, and my magic has retreated somewhere I know I can't reach it to do anything. Why does it always refuse to work when I need it most?

Then, suddenly, Fai whistles. Not a fake whistle but a long, low note that stretches forever. And for the first time, I feel his magic animate, take shape, call out. Winds dance around him, and the mage rises nonchalantly from the ground, still letting out that strong note. Arcs of light rise from the ground and twist around us, forming a protective net. I can only stare in wonder. The watchdog unleashes his river of flames, but it bends away when it reaches our small bubbles. I look to Fai with wide eyes. For some reason, my heart is pounding.

"Fai…" I start to say, but he ignores me.

"Mokona, let's go to the next world," he says calmly, as though nothing has happened.

"But… I can't use the magic," the fur-ball protests softly. Fai smiles and looks up to his shield.

"You'll be able to in here," he assures Mokona. Hesitantly, the fur-ball spreads its wings and opens his mouth. Soon the wind picks up, and I feel the energy waiting to take us to the next world.

"It works!" Mokona exclaims victoriously. We start to disappear, but my eyes are locked on Fai. And Fai's eyes are locked calmly on the ground, with the phony confidence of someone who knows he's done something wrong and is trying to convince you that he doesn't care.

XxX

I'm still on my guard when we land, eyes trained on every detail like a hawk, but there's nothing much to notice here but stone and sand. So my gaze quickly goes back to Fai. His eyes give nothing away. I can't get over what I just saw. After refusing to use magic, after blatantly lying about using it, he just performed such an obvious demonstration of power that my fingers are still tingling. It isn't just the amount of power he had at his disposal that astounds me, it's also his control over it. That shield was perfect, even I could tell. Fai must have studied a bit more than just magic theory.

"Hime!" Syaoran exclaims as Kurogane puts her down on a flat rock. And then there's him. He doesn't seem to remember what happened when he was fighting the watchdog, and yet I can still see his icy glance when I look at him. Someone was there, but it wasn't Syaoran. That he could somehow change into someone else disturbs me. Actually, I don't know what to think.

"She's asleep," the ninja grunts, looking down at Sakura. Despite everything that's happened since she fell asleep, she still seems peaceful. Syaoran sighs gratefully, and I shake my head. Nothing makes sense anymore. I can't reconcile both visions of the boy.

"She somehow managed to stay asleep while we were running away…" Fai jokes light-heartedly. There's an awkward silence when he speaks, and we all look at him. He pretends not to notice.

"Fai…" Mokona finally says plaintively, "I thought you said that you would never use magic again?" The mage smiles, then whistles thoughtfully.

"Well, to compare their natures, this is different from the magic I've used before," he explains. "Magic using sound – it's a different type of magic." It sounds fake. And I know it's not true. He said spells were just catalysts – the magic itself does not change. He's just trying to convince himself that he hasn't broken his promise. Even if – and my heart beats louder as I realize this – he used it for us. He always refused to use magic even in the most desperate situations, and now he uses it. He lies about it, but actions speak louder than words - and I don't understand what the mage is trying to tell us.

"Magic is magic, isn't it?" Kurogane says gruffly, interrupting my thoughts. Fai looks to him.

"Perhaps…" he admits with a sheepish smile, shrugging. But now Syaoran sighs loudly, and I look to him in surprise.

"I'm sorry," the boy says sadly. "If I had paid more attention to the ways to escape from the library…"

"No," I interrupt him gravely. "You are not to blame for any of this." This declaration is accompanied by a meaningful glance towards the mage. This is nobody's fault but his own, and he knows it. But Fai ignores me, and reassuringly pats Syaoran's shoulder.

"Syaoran-kun, you put so much effort into everything," he scolds him lightly. "And besides, you retrieved the feather." The boy still looks down sadly, and I think I see confusion pass on his features. My gaze finds Kurogane's. We don't speak, but the current between us is clear; we'll talk about this later, when the others aren't around. We both have questions that the other might help shed some light on. And even if it amounts to nothing, I need to make sure that I'm not making up this feeling of dread.

That things are slowly but irrevocably slipping away from any small control that I might have.

"Right," Fai says in a dismissive tone, "what kind of place are we in this time?" He starts climbing the boulders around us to get a better view. I expect him to call out some comments, but when he reaches the top all we hear is silence.

"What's up there?" I ask, climbing after him, confused by his silence. But when I peer over a rock to see the horizon, I'm unable to utter a single word either.


	38. Confusion

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TRC. Thank you for your attention.**

**This… took… forever… to write. It might just be because it was a hard chapter to write, or maybe just because I don't want to write what happens next. But I will *sigh* I hope you'll be able to wait that long, I realize I'm really slow these days…**

**Don't forget to review, to give me courage for the next few chapters! **

**XxX**

I've never seen such devastation. Buildings toppled over each other like dominos, bridges and towers reduced to heaps of crumpled metal, stretches of what used to be roads now cracked like old varnish.

And not a soul in sight.

Clouds are piling up, an ominous dark grey. The sky is a deep blue, much deeper than any sky I've seen before. I'm unable to tell if it's because this is evening, or if this is always the case. In contrast, the sand seems nearly white. _Like grinded bones,_ I can't help thinking, and shudder. But there's something about this place that screams death, and I'm suddenly relieved that Sakura's asleep in Kurogane's arms.

"Kurogane's carrying the princess!" Mokona croons, jumping on the ninja's shoulder.

"Huh?" Kurogane grunts, looking over to the fur-ball. Fai smiles.

"Well if he carries her on his shoulder for too long, then the blood'll go to her head," he explains. I've fallen behind with Syaoran. My leg doesn't hurt anymore, but there's still some slight discomfort. And Syaoran's entire right side is covered in cuts and bruises – that's the side where he was hit by the watchdog. I'm starting to doubt we'll ever find a place to treat his wounds. There's no signs of any activity around here.

"What the hell happened here?" Kurogane asks, looking up to what remains of a bridge-like structure above us.

"There's nothing but collapsed and damaged buildings," Mokona agrees. I look to the broken skyline around us. An earthquake could have caused the buildings to collapse – more realistically, a string of earthquakes – but that would still leave us to explain the metal bars so deformed it's like they've been melted. And even in such devastating earthquakes, surely there'd be survivors?

"I don't know anything that could have caused all of this," I admit.

"It would be good if there was a place where we could treat Syaoran-kun's wounds, but…" Fai comments, using his hand as a visor as he scans the horizon. I sigh. I'd be grateful simply to find any shelter at all, set up camp somewhere and go to the next world as soon as we can. It doesn't seem like there's anything around here, much less a feather.

Suddenly, Syaoran stops. Curiously passing his hand on the rounded edge of a rock, he frowns.

"What is it?" I ask inquiringly, peering over his shoulder. Syaoran turns to us.

"The tips of these rocks are rounded," he says. I had noticed that detail, but assumed it was erosion from the wind. But Syaoran knows much more than I do about things like this, so what he discovered might be important.

"What does it mean?" Kurogane asks, like me listening intently.

"It means that they've been shaped and eroded by the wind," the boy answers, "but I'm wondering if the wind is able to cause changes to this extent." Before I can respond, I feel something land on my head and jump. It's like a mosquito bite, but three times as painful. Raindrops begin to fall around us. Mokona yelps.

"It hurts!" he exclaims, hiding in Syaoran's collar. "It really hurts! What is it?"

"Acid?" I ask, looking down at my hands as they catch some more of the rain. There's a burning sensation on my palms where the liquid falls. I have a sudden flashback to Koryo, and I can tell by looking at Fai and Kurogane that they are thinking the same thing. My eyes start instinctively searching for shelter.

"I don't think this is water," Mokona says plaintively. The rain gets thicker.

"Whatever it is, it's not very nice to get pelted by the stuff, is it?" Fai says, holding up his hand as a visor again. So this must be what rounded the rocks. Syaoran gasps, pointing to something in the distance.

"There's a building still standing!" he exclaims. Squinting in the direction he points, I can make out the dark silhouette of some sort of tall, wide building.

"Let's go!" I order. Before we all get burnt beyond repair, we have to find some cover. Syaoran and Fai start running without any more prompting.

"And we have to run again," Kurogane grumbles, rearranging the princess in his arms so she doesn't hinder him.

"Hurry up, Kuro-tan!" Fai calls over his shoulder.

"Yeah, just run! We'll rest later!" I add, pushing him forward. With a swift move of the shoulder, the ninja shoves me in front of him.

"You first," he growls. And then I suddenly understand why the ninja wanted me to run in the front while we were fleeing: it wasn't just because we needed a scout, and it wasn't just because I'm the fastest runner we have. He wanted to keep an eye on me, make sure I didn't fall behind. And yet I managed to nearly get myself caught. He must be pissed off at me.

The rain thickens, and I grimace as it slides down my collar and into my dress, on my head and arms. Fortunately we are approaching the building quickly, and it seems to be standing like Syaoran had anticipated.

"It's really starting to pour!" Mokona exclaims as the clouds crackle to life. Thunder, but no lightning yet. We are nearly at the building now. There doesn't seem to be any doors, leaving this side of the building completely open. The only thing there is a row of large pillars, evenly spaced, leading into what would have probably been an entryway of some sort. The building itself is an imposing double tower, like so many of the administrative office buildings I've seen before. For some reason, it seems barely damaged.

Breathless, we throw ourselves in before the clouds unleash a flood upon the earth. I do a quick assessment; nobody seems badly burnt, I can only see minor wounds. Outside, the rain is as thick as a blanket, and I can barely make out a thing even if I squint.

"Wow," Syaoran pants beside me, "if we had been any slower, our bodies would be full of holes by now." I nod, sighing gratefully. And at least this building can serve as proper shelter until we can go on to the next world.

"But now we're safe!" Mokona exclaims happily. There's a short silence, then Kurogane's voice rises behind me.

"No," he says gravely, "I don't think so." I turn on my heels, dreading what I will see. Almost immediately, I have to muffle a scream. We've found the people.

And I wish we hadn't.

Slung over broken pillars, reaching out from under mountain of rubbles in front of us, impaled on sharp metal bars, arrows sticking out from their flesh, missing limbs, covered in blood. Dead, every single one of them dead. Men and women alike, joined in this grim reunion.

"They're… real," Fai says hesitantly, as though he has trouble believing this.

"Yes," the ninja answers, strangely atone. "They've all been killed." I close my eyes. Before Kurogane said it, there was still hope. Hope that this is all a nightmare, an illusion, some magic trick like the ruins in the library. But it's not. I'm surrounded by corpses. Corpses that used to be people.

"It's a good thing that Sakura-chan is still asleep," I hear the mage say softly. I risk opening my eyes. Hanging from a metal rod a few feet away from me is an arm, the body it used to be attached to lying somewhere in the wreckage. The blood has flown to the tip of the convulsed fingers, turning them black. I press a hand against my mouth to keep myself from vomiting.

"Pinky-chan, are you alright?" Fai says, and I feel a hand on my shoulder. I nod slowly, looking away from the arm.

"I'm fine," I say hoarsely, brushing Fai's hand away. It's like my stomach has lodged in my throat. Blood doesn't usually bother me, but this… these people are dead. And they've been murdered, the arrows in their bodies attest to that. No weapons, no armour around them. This is murder, pure and simple. Who would do something like this? And then there's the way some limbs have been ripped off. Animals aren't so vicious. I choke up again. Who could do this?

I have to get some air. Walking outside in this pouring acid rain isn't an option, but I have to get those corpses out of my sight before I throw up.

"Can you sense the presence of a feather?" I hear Syaoran ask Mokona. The fur-ball is shaking, visibly upset like I am. Syaoran seems a little disturbed as well, but I know the search for Sakura's feathers trumps everything with him. Especially in times like this, I find it becomes a little obsessive. The image of that other Syaoran pops into my head, but I don't say anything. He is not Syaoran.

"I can't be certain," Mokona begins shakily, but continues, "but I feel a wave of strong power."

"Where is it coming from?"

"From below," the fur-ball answers, and both me and Syaoran look down to our feet. Then we look at each other. Now that Mokona mentions it, I feel it too. A steady pulse coming from the ground we stand on, overlapping itself like in waves – I've felt this before.

"There's water down there," I realize slowly. "A lot of it." Probably some kind of lake, because the flow isn't very strong, and there's no current. I feel that there's something in the water, but unlike the river in Jade it remains completely uncooperative in letting me identify what it is. It's almost like it's hiding it from me.

Syaoran nods gravely, looking down once again to his feet with a frown. "Well, there's bound to be a staircase or something leading to the basement," I offer. "Or at least an elevator shaft." Syaoran's face turns comically puzzled.

"What's an elevator?" he asks, and I can't help but smile. I don't answer, just to tease him.

"Do you want to go look?" I offer. Suddenly, Syaoran's quest seems like an invitation to get away from this place, from the sight and smell of the dead lingering here. He nods, and we begin walking down the large hallway to our right. I turn around to wave to the others, signifying that we won't be far, but Syaoran doesn't take the time to do even this. He doesn't talk or wait for me either, and soon I fall behind when we have to step and trip over rubble. What used to be a hallway soon opens into an area of disproportionate size, partly blocked off by debris here, obstructed by the remains of a wall there. The result is an odd maze in which I nearly loose Syaoran a few time. Despite the boy's strange silence and this place's lingering aura of dread, I'm breathing better since we've left the corpses in the atrium.

"Hey, Syaoran-kun, slow down!" I call as the boy's head disappears once again behind a boulder. My only answer is a loud gasp, followed by several dull claps, like rain against pavement. Mokona yelps. I start running. "Syaoran!" I scream. My heart starts pounding loudly. I'm an idiot! There are corpses in the entryway, and it never crossed my mind that this place could be dangerous.

I turn the corner just in time to see Syaoran leap away from a flight of the same small arrows I've noticed on the corpses in front. They lose themselves behind him, hitting the stone with a thunder of dull claps. Before I can reach him, Syaoran kicks one of the projectiles away, but staggers on his injured left leg and falls back with a pained gasp. A stray arrow catches him in that same leg, piercing it from front to back under my horrified gaze.

"Syaoran!" Mokona screams. The boy staggers backwards, his face only a grimace of pain, holding on desperately to a boulder for support. I search frantically for the provenance of the arrows.

"Moko-chan!" I yell, running towards them with one of my hands open, waiting. Mokona understands. He opens his mouth wide and spits out my whip, which I catch expertly before throwing myself in front of Syaoran, turning my head swiftly towards the origin of the arrows. I have to look up to see them; seven cloaked silhouettes standing on boulders above us, holding crossbows. Their features are hidden by large hoods. I glare at them so fiercely that I'm half-surprised they don't fall from their perch, stone dead. They hurt Syaoran while he was already wounded, when he did nothing wrong – and that is unforgivable.

"To set foot in this place shows that you must have a death wish," one of them says calmly. I glance quickly at Syaoran, but although he's trembling in pain, the wound isn't bleeding too much. My gaze goes back to our attackers, and a wave of fury submerges me. How dare they?

"He's almost unhurt," a strong voice says in surprise from one of the cloaked figures.

"Those kicking skills really aren't bad-" another starts, impressed, before a dry voice interrupts him.

"What are you talking about? They're intruders."

"But did you see how she got that whip?"

"It doesn't matter, they're probably thieves." I exchange a glance with Syaoran. What could they possibly have that we would want to steal? Unless they know we're looking for the feather… no, he said 'probably.' That means that they have no proof against us, which makes me even more furious. They're probably the ones who killed those people in the front. And for what? Were they thieves too? What could there possibly be in these ruins worth stealing, anyways?

"Enough," one of the figures says strongly, pointing his crossbow away. "What do you want to do, Kamui?" One of them slowly takes off his hood, revealing a young, pale face and dark hair. And eyes the colour of stormy skies, who look down at us coldly like one would look at a mosquito, deciding whether or not to swat something so insignificant. I immediately hate him. Still, the aura of strength around him is undeniable. The kind of person it would be wise to have on your side.

But he hurt Syaoran. Chances of negotiations have been terminated as far as I'm concerned.

The one they called Kamui continues his silent examination, and my eyes train on the crossbows of his companions. I'm afraid they'll start shooting again; Syaoran is in no shape to move, and I'm not leaving him here. I reach back with one hand and squeeze his arm reassuringly, my other arm still in front of us protectively.

"…are you game?" Kamui says suddenly, cocking his inexpressive face to the side curiously. I notice he's looking at Syaoran, ignoring me as though I didn't even exist. The boy seems taken aback by the question, but he doesn't have the time to answer. With a sigh, Kamui points his crossbow towards us. "Kill them," he says coldly, and the arrow flies towards us. I push Syaoran back, knowing that I can't avoid it without exposing him. I bite my lip and close my eyes, waiting for the pain to erupt. But there's a dull clap, and then nothing. Tentatively, I open my eyes again. Did he miss?

"Kurogane-san!" Syaoran exclaims in relief, and my eyes run to the ninja, who has appeared some way beside us. His arm is still extended in a throw, his eyes locked on a spot a little above us. At my feet lie an arrow and a stone, and I breath a sigh of relief. He was just in time, and anyone else would have missed that throw. We were lucky. Incredibly lucky.

The ninja doesn't return our greeting. He stands up again, sends a cool glance to the archers above us, then looks back at us with a steely determination.

"This is a good place for a one-on-one battle," he declares gruffly, then extends his waiting hand towards us. "White manjuu, my sword," he orders. Mokona seems happy to submit.

"Okay!" he exclaims, and in a gust of wind shoots out Souhi. Kurogane catches it with ease, smoothly pulling it halfway out of its scabbard before settling into a fighting stance. There's a murderous smile on his lips, but I don't think anyone else noticed the tension in his shoulders when he stood, the scarlet flash in his eyes when he looked up to our attackers – the real signs of danger. The ninja is out for blood.

"These people actually dared to ambush us," he says calmly, as though marveling at their stupidity. But there's a threat in his voice, nearly imperceptible and yet so potent that I find a shiver running up my spine.

"They're not scared off?" one of the cloaked figures says in astonishment.

"That sword is too cool!" another exclaims. To my surprise, he sounds like a child.

"Where did they come from?"

"I've never seen…"

Kurogane steps in front of us. I step beside him, but he orders me back with a sideways glance. I look at him, puzzled. Two of us won't be too much to get rid of the seven of them. But his eyes are insistent.

"One-on-one," he growls.

"Why?" I hiss under my breath. He doesn't answer, but I can guess by the slight twitch at the corner of his mouth, the angle of his body, the way his left arm is pulled back a little too far than necessary. Between me and the enemy. And I see this from Kurogane's point of view. When he arrived, we were helpless, unable to move. Syaoran was wounded, and I was about to be hit by an arrow.

No. I was about to be killed by an arrow.

Kamui had been aiming for my heart.

I step back slowly, carefully angling my body to protect Syaoran. If he won't let me fight, then I'll at least give him one less thing to worry about. The ninja understands this and focuses back on our opponents. I sigh. My limbs feel suddenly very heavy. I would probably be dead by now if Kurogane hadn't intervened. I wonder if it was Mokona's yelp or my scream that alerted him first… wait. My eyes start searching again. Where are Fai and Sakura? Kurogane hasn't mentioned them at all, has given us no clue to where they are, which can mean only one thing: they're hiding. Sakura can't be left alone in her state, and Kurogane is more help in a fight than Fai. Besides, as long as the archers don't know how many we are they won't be looking for them. I look at Syaoran and he nods. He's understood too. Right now, the best way to protect both of them is to act like they don't exist.

"You're the leader, aren't you," Kurogane calls out to Kamui, who doesn't even flinch. He doesn't seem surprised by the ninja's appearance in the slightest. There's something decidedly abnormal about that boy. Because he's still a boy – no older than me. And yet he's obviously the leader of this small band. People don't relinquish authority to a teenager unless they have a good reason to.

"This should be fun," one of the cloaked figures snickers. Their voices carry far in this large space.

"He wants to defeat Kamui?"

"That's just not possible!"

"No one can match Kamui, except… Kamui!" The boy jumps down from his perch, towards us, so fast that I barely see him until he's right in front of us. His arm shoots forward, and Kurogane hardly has the time to shift to the side to avoid it. Syaoran and I have to fall back to avoid the blow. Kamui's hand flows in a wide arc, clipping the ninja's cheek with his nails. It's only a small cut, but I can tell Kurogane's not used to being injured in battle; he winces, in his eyes an expression of disbelief. He sweeps the air in front of him with his sword, but Kamui is already gone. Where he lands, the ninja slices forward, purposely pushing the fight away from us. But Kamui simply vanishes, reappears somewhere else, then seems to evaporate again. Almost like a dance. I try to grasp his movements, but I can't decipher them. Only one thing is clear; there is no magic involved. This is all natural, so hard as it is to believe.

With a swift movement, Kamui pulls off his cloak. He uses it as a shield, hiding his form from Kurogane long enough to avoid another blow. The ninja tries to remain focused, but I can tell the boy's ability to remain out of reach is frustrating him. His eyes dart around him, trying to predict Kamui's next move. I see it a second before he does.

"Watch the right!" I exclaim, seeing Kamui lunging for Kurogane's side. The ninja turns his head, but it was the wrong call; Kamui circles Kurogane, jumps over his sword to the left and twists his body to send his legs swinging. He drives a kick so strong it sends the ninja flying into a nearby boulder. I can't muffle a scream.

"Kuro-sama!" The force of the impact reverberates around us, and the crash digs a large crater in the stone. I force my legs to stay put, but it takes everything in me not to leave Syaoran's side. Kurogane's hurt and it's my fault. If I hadn't misread Kamui's intent, or better, if I had just kept my mouth shut…

I can't believe that Kurogane would still be able to fight after such a blow, but the ninja swiftly slides down to his feet, his eyes alight with a silent dare. Kamui takes it without blinking. He dashes for the ninja, his arm already ready to strike. To my surprise, Kurogane closes his eyes.

"Kurogane-san!" Syaoran yells, but I force myself to stay still and trust the ninja. It's not easy. When Kamui's hand jumps towards Kurogane's throat, I cringe. His eyes are still closed, eyebrows knit in deep concentration. But, even with that handicap, he's faster than my eyes. When Kamui's hand jumps towards his throat, all I hear is Souhi sing.

Both opponents freeze; Kamui's hand is resting ominously against Kurogane's throat, but the ninja's sword is pressed against the boy's neck. Slowly, they look at each other. Kurogane grins. There's no doubt to who holds the advantage.

"Shou Ryuu Sen!" The ninja's battle cry reverberates across the room as he strikes with the flat of his blade, creating a shockwave that sends Kamui flying straight up. Now it's the others' turn to scream in alarm.

"Kamui!" one of them yells when the boy crashes into the ceiling. I feel a sense of sick satisfaction at the sight of the one who shot Syaoran defeated like this. Because of course he'll be in no shape to continues after a blow like that.

His eyes open, and even from this height I can tell that they are golden.

"Stay back," he orders, his voice strangely devoid of any pain. He lets himself fall on a nearby boulder, then jumps from one rock to another until he reaches the ground. His moves are swift and sure. I don't understand. He should be groaning in pain, clutching a broken arm or rib, barely able to stand - let alone walk. But if he's injured in any way, he's hiding it well. He signals for his companions to stay back, then starts walking back towards Kurogane. The ninja has once again positioned himself to shield us, but this time I widen my stance too. This is no ordinary person. And if I trust Kurogane's skills completely, I'm not taking any chances. So far he's ignored Syaoran and I, but that can only be a matter of time.

"Does he not feel any pain?" Kurogane grunts, sounding almost exasperated. Kamui is now staring at us eerily, his eyes still a penetrating gold. His pupils are vertical slits, like a cat's. I wonder why is eyes changed colour. I was sure they were blue when we got here…

"So that's it, heh?"

"He blew Kamui against the ceiling," one of the cloaked figures says, chuckling.

"He used a weapon," another replies dryly.

"But that was splendid!" the child-like voice exclaims. The one who spoke before leans on the smaller one's head.

"What's there to be excited about?"

Suddenly, I can hear a low buzz coming from somewhere to our left, the opposite way from where we came. Hearing it too, Kamui twitches slightly.

"What's that sound?" Kurogane asks, looking around.

"An engine?" I suggest, unable to spot anything that could be the source of it. But Kamui doesn't seem prey to our confusion. Calmly, he turns to his companions.

"They're here," he says, "the people from the Tower." Then he leaves, wrapping his cloak around him once more, towards the origin of the buzzing.

"Hey! We're not done yet!" Kurogane protests, but the boy doesn't answer. The child above us laughs.

"I think Kamui finds you boring," he says.

"What?" Kurogane roars, visibly insulted. I'm both relieved that the fight is over and no one is badly injured, and nervous at the idea of this next turn of events. Who are these people from the Tower? More enemies that we'll have to fight off? I hope Fai found a good hiding place for him and Sakura, because this country doesn't look like it's going to give us a break.

"Hey Kamui! Don't walk off alone!" one of the cloaked figures calls out, but once again the boy ignores it. The man chuckles. "He doesn't listen at all," he deplores, shaking his head. Then he starts running in the direction Kamui went, soon followed by the others. They disappear in cracks and jump over large boulders as though following a path they've known forever. We watch them leave.

"What's going to happen now?" I mutter, my eyes following them. Then I turn to Syaoran. "Let me see that wound," I order. The boy shies away from my touch.

"I'm fine," he assures me, but the pained hiss when I brushed against his leg proves otherwise. I look at him with worry.

"Are you sure?" I ask. He nods. I turn to Kurogane. "How about you? You're not hurting anywhere?" The ninja grunts, shrugging. His eyes are still locked towards where the cloaked figures disappeared. I sigh. "Are we going to follow them?"

"Can you walk?" Kurogane asks Syaoran, answering me with a question. The boy nods, and takes a step forward as though to prove this, but stumbles. I catch him hurriedly.

"I'll help you," I decide. "Here, put your arm around my shoulders like this…"

We follow the path the others have taken, Kurogane scouting in front of us, Syaoran hobbling along bravely as I try to support most of his weight. The chatter of voices guide us to the edge of a circular room, from which the rain can be seen pouring down into the desert. Our cloaked attackers have removed their hoods, revealing their features. As I thought, one of them is indeed a child – a man holds him up on his shoulder. On the opposite side of the room, a group of people wearing green coats hold guns in our direction. Probably the people from the Tower. I'm surprised to recognize Yuzuhira in there, with Karen-Dayuu, Sorata-sensei and his wife. Although I've seen Yuzuhira with a gun before, Karen-Dayuu seems so different from her self in Shara that I have to look at her again to verify that my eyes aren't playing tricks on me. As for my former history teacher, he seems right at home in this situation, holding a long riffle over his shoulder and smiling. But I have trouble telling my brain that it's him – because of course, it's not really any of them. I know that.

Small vehicles wait, parked near the opposite entrance of the room – probably the engine noise we could hear further inside the building. They bear a neat resemblance to motorcycles, but without any wheels. They must hover above the ground.

And in the center of all this, Kamui and another man are fighting. We peer around the corner just in time to see the boy toss the man away with a swift throw. The man lands painfully on his feet and remains crouched. He's wearing the same coat as the ones from the Tower.

"He got tossed!" the one who looks like Yuzuhira exclaims, but her voice betrays more surprise than alarm.

"That's so week, Fuuma," Sorata-sensei laughs. The man lifts his head with a broad smile. He's an adult, yet his face is strangely reminiscent of youthful nonchalance. He doesn't seem hurt, or upset at the ease with which Kamui threw him.

"Hmmm, indeed," he agrees breezily, smiling in Kamui's direction. I frown. Despite their apparent will to shoot each other at any instant, neither faction seems to take this fight seriously. Instead, I get the feeling that this is more like a cat-and-mouse game than anything else.

The one they called Fuuma suddenly notices us at the other end of the room. He waves warmly.

"Are those guests?" he asks Kamui. The boy hasn't moved an inch since we've entered the room, but now he turns his head to see us. I notice he's still keeping an eye on Fuuma.

"What the hell are you doing, waving your hand like that?" Kurogane replies gruffly, looking suspiciously at the assembly in front of us. I'm still on the defensive. Now that Syaoran can lean against a wall, I free myself from most of his weight and grab my whip nervously. The others have also noticed our presence, and now at least two crossbows have been turned towards us.

"Looks like they aren't from the Tower," one of the men says. He has long hair, which partly covers his face. I read no emotion on his features.

"Maybe they're playing with us," another replies, and I recognize the dry, harsh tone that first accused us of being thieves. It's coming from the man who's holding the child on his shoulder. His gaze is just as hard as his voice. I glare back at him. I notice that he has a small tattoo on his forehead, representing some kind of flower, or clover.

"No," Fuuma says, dusting himself off. "I've never seen them before." So quickly that my eyes barely register it, Kamui dives back on him. Fuuma backs away with surprising speed, pulling out a gun and shooting once, missing the boy largely enough to make me believe that his objective was never to hurt him. "Obviously, you don't plan to listen to a single word I say," he says with a smile again, but his eyes are now hard.

"Fuuma!" It's Karen-Dayuu, holding a small device near her ear. "There's news from the Tower. Another district showed up to attack." There's this place, the Tower, and districts. And they're all at war with each other. But what could they be fighting for?

"Tell them to send the other spare members and defend it well," Fuuma answers, shifting to the side to avoid Kamui's blow. Another man, with black hair and glasses, looks up from his own device similar to Karen-Dayuu's.

"Looks like they can't," he announces. Once again, nobody seems particularly alarmed, but the people from the Tower nonetheless begin to retreat to their vehicles. I notice that they carefully pull up their hoods before stepping out in the rain. Protective clothing? That must be useful. As I had predicted, the vehicles hover a few feet above the ground when they are activated.

"You can stay and play, or go back," Sorata-sensei calls to Fuuma before stepping out, "but we're being robbed as well." I can't hear him very well, but I think Fuuma chuckles.

"Looks like there's no other choice," he says nonchalantly, firing another shot, near Kamui's feet this time. The boy evades it with ease, but this gives Fuuma the time he needs to jump on the last remaining hovercraft. "Let's fight again next time, Kamui," he offers joyfully before pulling his hood over his eyes and leaving under the rain. The boy watches him leave in silence. I can't see his face, but I have the feeling that he wasn't taking this fight as lightly as Fuuma was.

I silently curse the Tower faction for leaving; as long as they were here, barely no one was paying attention to us. But now we are once again the center of attention. The man with the clover tattoo steps towards us vigilantly, and I am painfully reminded of the palace guards in Shura. I glare at him, silently daring him to come closer. He glares back, but doesn't move. The boy on his shoulder looks down at my whip and offers me a charming smile, as though all of this was wildly exciting. I don't smile back, but my gaze softens. I have to admit, he looks adorable.

Kamui finally turns back to us. His gaze is locked on the floor. For a moment I think he wants to continue his brawl with Kurogane, but he simply brushes past us without giving us so much as a glance. The ninja doesn't seem to like being ignored.

"You bastard, you're just planning to leave?" he growls, stepping between Kamui and Syaoran. Kamui doesn't stop.

"I'll leave them to you," he says calmly, and I see the others nod. Then he adds, as an afterthought: "And the two that are hiding, too."

My heart skips a beat. As long as Fai and Sakura remained hidden, they were protected. But now they're just as vulnerable as us all. How did he find them? I share an alarmed glance with Syaoran, and hope with all my heart that Fai has had the common sense to stay close to the entrance, or at least somewhere in the entrails of the building. At least then they won't be found so easily.

Kurogane's gaze is unreadable as he watches Kamui leave. But his fingers twitched when the boy mentioned Fai and Sakura.

There's an impressed chuckle from one of the cloaked men. No, one of them is a woman, I realize as I get the opportunity to study them more closely.

"Yup," one of them laughs, and with a jolt I recognize Kusanagi. I hadn't noticed him before, because he was facing away from me. I frown. Already five people I recognize from other worlds. This is unnatural, but it's probably coincidence.

"They've been trapped by Kamui as well," another one agrees, smiling. He's blond and confident, and I can't get a hold on him. Same thing with the girl. Her gaze seems almost absent, as though this isn't the world she's used to evolving in. They're barely paying attention to us now, and I hope once again that Fai is hiding somewhere far from here. But then a familiar laugh rings out near us, and I muffle a hiccup of fear.

"You've found us," Fai announces joyfully, appearing suddenly from a natural alcove between two shards of stone. His face shows only slight embarrassment, as though he had just lost a game of hide-and-seek. He stands up, holding Sakura securely to his chest. She's still asleep, but that's not what I'm thinking about right now.

"You followed us?" I yell, jumping towards the wizard. "Are you an idiot?" I try. I try everything to keep him out of trouble. I jump without thinking on giant stone serpents that are trying to eat me, I keep my mouth shut so that he can remain invisible - and he simply follows the people who were trying to kill us.

He just chuckles. "Well, I wanted to know what was going to happen," he says sheepishly. I groan in frustration.

"We make sure that they don't even know you exist because we're nearly getting killed, and you just mess everything up by following us around like you want them to find you! You never look out for yourself – never! And then you tell me I overreact because I'm the only goddamned person here worried about your survival!"

The mage sends me a teasing glance and turns to Syaoran. "Syaoran-kun, you're wounded again," he says disapprovingly, purposely ignoring me. The boy looks apologetically down to the floor, ready to reply something, but I'm there.

"Don't you ignore me! I'm not finished with you!" I hiss.

"But we're fine, see?"

"You could've been hurt! What if they had hurt Sakura, huh?"

"There, you see? You're overreacting."

"I am not overreacting!" I feel my cheeks turn red and a few cloaked people look at us with interest, so I stare down. My whip is still clutched between my fingers, ready for action. But so far, no one seems to be getting ready to attack, so I relax somewhat.

"What's that thing that they wanted?" Kurogane asks suddenly, looking directly at the other group. Slowly, all eyes turn to him. In his eyes is the strong glare of those who know they will be answered.

To my surprise, the child is the first to answer. "What do you mean?" he asks, puzzled, tugging on his carrier's sleeve to get him to put him down. Kusanagi looks to his companions.

"Looks like they're not just playing dumb," he says, surprise in his voice.

"But they should know…" the boy speaks again, looking up at us with wide brown eyes. His face betrays wisdom beyond his years, but he is still a child. "It's water."

"Wha… the water?" I exclaim in surprise. I can still feel its cool, moving presence under us, but I hadn't thought… who steals water? The others share my dumbstruck look.

"Of course," the woman says harshly. Her hair is a strange combination of brown and black, and she peers at us through heavy-rimmed glasses. Her eyes linger on me.

"Didn't you come to steal our water?" the man with the tattoo on his forehead asks suspiciously.

"Maybe this is just a misunderstanding," the blond one says with a smile. The boy looks up to him.

"But they sure look like thieves," he says so innocently that I nearly crack a smile.

"She knew about the water," the woman says suddenly, pointing her crossbow towards me. My eyes widen, startled, but already my whip is up at the ready. Kurogane grunts menacingly and steps towards me. But the woman's aim doesn't waver. "Right now, you said 'the water,'" she explains coldly, "which means that you already knew it was there." The others look at me with expressions ranging from heavy suspicion to curiosity, and the man with the tattoo lifts his crossbow as well. A glance from Kurogane discourages him from aiming it towards me.

I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. I don't know what to say. If I lie, she'll know right away. And if I don't, they might think we really are thieves, and then our position isn't any better.

And crossbows aren't really better than guns in terms of things I like pointed at my head.

"Okay, I knew about the water," I admit between clenched teeth. I see Kurogane turn to Fai for confirmation, but the mage simply shrugs. At least their clueless expressions will protect them if she doesn't believe me. "But they didn't. And we're not here to steal it. I swear," I add, lifting both hands up but refusing to let go of my weapon. A partial surrender will have to do. But the woman doesn't look convinced in the slightest. I sigh and look to the others, trying to decide how much to admit. Syaoran shakes his head, baffled, and Kurogane shrugs, but Fai gives me a little encouraging smile. So I take a deep breath. "I can sense things," I start, "like… water, and… people. I can sense their… vibrations." They don't look convinced, but I don't know how else to say it. I'm so used to hiding my magic, or inventing an excuse for it, or having Fai explaining it for me that I have no idea how to make this sound genuine without revealing too much. This is personal territory, after all. "So I knew there was water under the building when we came here. But we're not after your water. We just came here to take shelter from the rain." It's now a stare-down between us. If she shoots, I have very little room to maneuver. But she's the perfect distance away for me to inflict serious damage with my whip if we do fight. Whoever moves first goes down with her opponent. Nobody has the advantage.

Suddenly, a voice cuts through the silence. "Stranger things have happened," it says calmly. It's the man with the long hair, the one with no expression. He's looking at me as though he could see right through me, and yet couldn't care less.

"Kakyou?" the woman asks, shooting him a sideways glance. But it's the blond man who answers.

"He's right," he says. "With all the mutations, who's to say they haven't started affecting humans as well?"

"Hey-" I start to protest, but stop myself. At least they believe me, that's the essential. Even if they think that I'm a… mutation? What kind of place is this?

"To tell you the truth, we didn't come here on purpose," Fai says amiably, taking advantage of our opponents' hesitation. The woman slowly lowers her crossbow.

"What do you mean?" she asks suspiciously. Suddenly, the oddness of our situation seems to dawn on them.

"Where are your rainproof clothes?" Kusanagi asks, frowning.

"And where exactly did you come from?" the blond guy adds. I roll my eyes. I thought they would never ask themselves those questions.

"Hey! Hey!" Mokona exclaims from Syaoran's shoulder, startling us. "Listen to me! Mokona and the others are from a place very far away from here, and we don't know anything about this country. And we are not thieves!"

"Wah!" the child opens wide eyes as he runs towards Mokona, arms extended, as though the fur-ball was a shiny new toy. "What is that thing?" he asks excitedly.

"Mokona is Mokona!" If the situation wasn't so serious, I would laugh. They are so adorable.

"It must be some mutant life-form," the woman says, disgust in her voice.

"Aisha and Mokona are mutants together!" the fur-ball exclaims, dancing. I scowl. I don't like being called a mutant, but it seems the only reason they'll accept for my knowing of the water's presence. And we can't afford for them to suspect us of being thieves again.

"Whatever it is, it's very cute," the blond one says with a smile, peering over the woman's shoulder.

"And it talks!" the child exclaims with glee, holding out his hands to catch Mokona, but Clover neatly catches him and pulls him back.

"Kazuki!" he scolds harshly. "Don't be so careless. Stay back." The boy struggles.

"You're so rough, Nataku!" he whines as the man in question pulls him back on his shoulder. Kusanagi looks over to the blond one.

"So, what do we do now, Yuuto?" he asks. His question is general enough, but it's obvious he's talking about us. I tense. Although they must know by now that we aren't thieves, they could decide anything. If it's a fight they want I'll make sure they're not disappointed, but only Kurogane and I are in any shape for that – maybe Fai, if we have no other choice than to leave Syaoran and Sakura vulnerable. And we're still tired from our flight in the Central Library. Escape will be hard, victory even more if we have to face them.

I look at the lot of them once more. There's Kusanagi, Yuuto, Kazuki and Nataku whose names I know now, and then there's the woman, and the man with no expression whose names I have yet to learn. They form a pretty eclectic group, but so must we. And they don't seem particularly quarrelsome, I realize. Yuuto is even smiling.

"Well, Kamui entrusted them to us, but…" he starts, before being interrupted.

"If Kamui did not kill them, then there is no reason for us to do so…" It's the expressionless one again, his face more unreadable than ever. I think I'm starting to like him. Every time he opens his mouth, it's to defend us.

But everyone doesn't seem to like his opinion as much as I do. Nataku and the woman, in particular, don't seem happy at the idea of letting us live. But Kusanagi smiles knowingly.

"In order to protect what is beneath the tower, you only need to keep people from going underground, right Kamui?" he mutters amusedly, then looks up. "I think there's no need to give them any more trouble," he says thoughtfully. The woman scowls.

"Kusanagi…" she says, but Yuuto is already beside her.

"There's no need to add more bodies to the collection outside, right Satsuki?" he asks with a light smile. She frowns and looks down. I'm reminded with a jolt of the corpses piled at the entrance, and feel sick to the pit of my stomach. I'm not sure whom I like less right now; Yuuto and his nonchalant referral to the dead as though they didn't matter, or Satsuki's obvious will to add to this number. Even now, she seems to be debating whether or not we should be killed.

"I suppose," she finally admits, grudgingly. Kusanagi smiles and looks at us.

"Then it's decided," he announces, pointing to the desert behind him. "You may pass." Despite the invitation, nobody moves. I look up to Kusanagi doubtfully. Knowing him in Outo makes me want to trust him, but I have to get this is my head: this is not the same Kusanagi that we knew. He's not particularly intent on harming us now, but he was shooting arrows at Syaoran not ten minutes ago.

"Mokona feels a strong power underground, but it's only in this area," the fur-ball whispers behind me, so low that only Syaoran, Fai and I hear it.

"That means we have to investigate before we leave," Fai answers quietly. I can't help a small smile. Guys really do have a one-track mind. Yes, one of the reasons leaving is a bad idea is because we need to find out more about this power that Mokona feels underground. But that's just one of many – more basic, survival-oriented – reasons to stay.

It's still raining heavily outside and Syaoran is in no shape to walk anywhere, let alone run. It's taken us so long to find this shelter, and we won't find anything better before we're punched full of holes. There's absolutely no vegetation or animals to provide us with food, and we have none. Making us leave is just as bad as killing us right now, and I'm wondering to which degree the residents of this building realize it - and are maybe counting on it.

Fai gives them one of his most charming smiles. "Umm… I really don't want to disturb you further, but… you see, this is Syaoran," he turns to the boy, who looks up confusedly. His eyes betray the pain of his injury, and I step back towards him protectively. I feel bad now. I was so busy evaluating our situation and the people we were facing that I forgot about Syaoran's wound on more than just a practical level. But of course it hurts. "This is Aisha-chan, right here. I'm Fai, and that's Kuro-tan," the mage continues.

"IT'S KUROGANE!" the ninja replies loudly, visibly on edge. I send Fai a sideways glance as I bend down to better see Syaoran's wound. I don't understand the mage's motivations either, but best to trust him. The boy hisses painfully when I try to touch his leg and I pull back.

"Could you help us treat Syaoran's wound?" Fai continues, ignoring Kurogane. "It looks very painful."

"I don't want to waste any medicine," Nataku replies quickly, attracting my glare. Since when is using medicine to heal considered a waste? But if they really live in such desolation, medicine must be hard to come by… Using it on strangers probably isn't their first choice. But still. They hurt Syaoran, they should pay for it.

"Isn't it better to have them leave quickly? We don't know anything about them," Satsuki adds, sending all of us, and me in particular, a distrustful gaze. Yuuto shakes his head with a smile.

"But it was Kamui who attacked them in the beginning," he argues calmly. "Even though they're not thieves." A soft ruffling noise reaches my ears. It's the man with no expression – Kakyou, I now remember. When he speaks, everyone falls silent.

"I don't know much about the methods for treating wounds, but you may use my medicine," he offers.

"Kakyou!" Nataku protests, but Kusanagi puts a hand on his shoulder, smiling reassuringly.

"Relax. If Kakyou says they can, then it's okay," he says. I send a wave of gratitude towards Kakyou. He's the only one here I'm starting to like, even though I still can't get a grip on his character. And we really need this medicine.

"Thank you," Fai says. To Syaoran, he adds quietly: "At least we've managed to buy a little time."

"Yes," the boy nods. I stand up.

"Um, excuse me," I say, "but you wouldn't mind giving us a place to sleep as well? Syaoran needs some rest, and… we're not picky," I assure them in response to Satsuki's disapproving glance, "just a space on the floor will do. Maybe a mattress for Sakura, if you can spare one." The princess will be sleeping a lot more than the rest of us. "We don't want to bother you, but…"

"We do have a space on the tenth floor, don't we?" Kusanagi interrupts suddenly, looking at Yuuto. The blond man nods.

"You'll be comfortable there to tend to your wounds, and we don't use it for anything else," he explains. "Besides, night will be falling soon – and the storm isn't over."

"Thanks," I say. "We'll repay you." I personally think it's the least they could do for attacking us like that, but I want to stay on their good side. "We have no money, but we can help with any work you need done." Kusanagi chuckles.

"Money hasn't meant anything here for a long time, little girl," he says. I frown when he calls me 'little girl', but don't comment. "But as for work to be done, there's no shortage of that." Most of them nod, satisfied with our bargain.

"If you'll follow me," Yuuto says suddenly, disappearing between two pillars. We look at each other with hesitation, but follow nonetheless.

XxX

They guide us through what looks like a refugee camp. People sit amongst the rubbles, behind drapes that barely conceal beds and meager piles of clothing and food. Their clothes seem dirty and tattered, and many of them look like they haven't washed in weeks. The stench of life lingers on everything here; dirt, sand, blood. And yet they talk, they play, they laugh, like regular people. Unfortunately, their hardships are not buried deep under. When we pass, circled by the 'Water guardians' – that's how I'll be calling them from now on – most of them look up, intrigued, worried, but mostly distrusting. They're not used to anything foreign. Just like the unwelcoming plains beyond these walls, these people are broken.

"Ah! Sorry," Syaoran says after Kurogane stumbles on a stone. The ninja glances to the boy on his back.

"Next time, just don't get injured," he grunts. I smile softly. He's trying to act all rough, but Kurogane was worried as well.

"There are so many people here," Mokona notices from atop Fai's shoulder. Sakura is still sleeping soundly. The mage is looking out to the inhabitants of this building as curiously as they are looking at him. I, for the most part, avoid their reproving eyes – and Kurogane ignores them altogether.

"This is the only place in the vicinity inhabited by people," Kazuki explains, walking assuredly in front of us. The sight of his small head bobbing up and down is beyond adorable.

"What about that Tower?" I ask. Kazuki turns back, inquisitive, opening his mouth to answer, but an old man walks up to him with his grandson at his arm.

"What happened to those attackers?" he asks. Kazuki turns to him and smiles, holding up his thumb.

"We drove them off," he says proudly. The old man smiles, looking down at his grandson, ruffling his hair.

"That's great," he says joyfully as the boy tries to wiggles away from his grip. I can't help but smile. A group of small children run up to Kusanagi.

"Were there any injuries?" they ask eagerly.

"We're fine," the man answers with a gentle smile, and the children run away, laughing. My heart melts. I catch up to Kusanagi.

"Is there anything I could do to help with the kids?" I offer. He looks down at me, amused.

"It doesn't sound so half-hearted, this time," he notices. I bite my lip to keep from smiling.

"Yeah, well…"

"She really likes children," Fai chips in, completely uninvited. I glance at him. He's smiling teasingly. I scowl playfully, following our routine.

"I just…"

"And she knows a lot of fairytales. Those are always a hit, right? And games. And she's really good at getting people to eat their green vegetables; she did it with Kuro-pyon and that's not easy. Oh, and she'll probably sulk all night if you don't let her help, because now she's offered it and she'll feel useless." Now my scowl turns to wide eyes and I forcefully nudge him in the ribs with my elbow.

"I won't sulk all night!" I hiss, glancing at Kusanagi to see what he thinks. But he's just laughing.

"Sigh! And now she's going to hurt me because I revealed her inner workings to the world!" the mage sighs dramatically. I elbow him again. But beyond my embarrassment, I'm secretly impressed that Fai can read me so well. And scared of that very same fact.

"Here we are," Kusanagi announces, steering us behind a curtain to the right. Kazuki dives in there before we do, so eagerly that it rips a smile from my lips. When I step behind the curtain as well, I stop. The room is large in size: it probably used to house several smaller cubicles in the days where this was still an office building. There's a large mattress on one side of the room and several big windows, only some of which still have glass to protect us from the outside world. A tattered curtain tries to hide the bed from the rest of the room, without success. It is clean, with no collapsed walls or shaky ceilings. I shake my head.

"This is too much," I say, thinking of all the people living among the rubbles on the other side of the curtain, sharing spaces that don't come to half of the size of this room. Yuuto shrugs.

"It's the only space we have left," he says with a look that means 'take it or leave it.' "Unless you'd like to live with us, but I don't think either party would like that very much." Kurogane grunts, confirming this opinion. Fai gently lays Sakura on the mattress, brushing her bangs away from her face and placing her hat on the ground, at her side. The ninja lets Syaoran slide to the ground next to the bed, and the boy sits down thankfully. Although the entire group of Water guardians had kept us under close guard on the journey here, only Yuuto, Kusanagi and Kazuki have followed us inside. Yuuto hands me a package.

"Here," he says. "What you should need to take care of him." I nod once in thanks and turn to Syaoran.

"Alright, now let me see this," I order gently, kneeling in front of him. The boy barely winces when I pull off his boot, neither does he flinch when I roll up his pants until I get to the arrow. But when I grab the wooden shaft between my fingers, he bites his lip and clutches the side of the mattress until his knuckles turn white. I get a good grip behind his knee and take a deep breath.

"I'm not going to lie to you, this'll hurt," I warn. Syaoran nods, once, eyes closed in pain. I exhale and pull sharply.

I'm proud of Syaoran. The only thing that escapes his mouth is a strangled cry, followed by an exclamation of surprise when the blood surges up. I put pressure on the wound with one hand, fumbling into the package with the other, reaching for the roll of bandages. Someone hands it to me.

"Thank you," I mutter without looking to see who it is. Quickly, I begin wrapping the roll around Syaoran's leg, above and below the wound. Nobody else is making a sound. Now that the arrow is gone the pain seems to be slowly receding, because Syaoran's face is gaining some of its colour back. "Too tight?" I ask as I tug on the bandage. The boy shakes his head.

"It's fine, thank you." Once again, we return to awkward silence. The only sound in the room is the whisper of falling rain.

"The acid rain has fallen for fifteen years now…" Kusanagi says suddenly, so low that at first I'm not sure if he has spoken at all. "Rivers, lakes, ponds… there is no more drinkable water." I look up to Syaoran. He's listening intently, fascinated.

"All of the water filtering systems we once had have all been destroyed," Yuuto continues, "as well as most of the houses and buildings." I send my consciousness downwards, towards the lapping water. It doesn't seem contaminated at all. Just… normal water. And a little bit of something else.

"How have you all managed to survive all these years?" Mokona asks. Yuuto smirks, holding his hand out towards the nothing.

"There is an underground reservoir here," he says. His smile fades. "But in reality, it's not only the structures and buildings that have corroded. The Earth itself has corroded. We may have the water from the reservoir, but if we don't find a way to protect it, it will become unusable, like the rest of the water." That explains their protectiveness towards their water; it's their only gage of survival in this world.

"But this building hasn't corroded like the others," Syaoran says, a little too lightly. Hearing his voice, you'd think the problem was solved right there. I bite my lip. They won't like that. In fact, Yuuto is already sending Syaoran a hard gaze.

"Don't you understand how precious the underground water is?" he says plainly. Even if nothing has happened so far, they can't just take the chance that nothing will happen; it's too important. You don't joke with a matter of life or death.

The boy's eyes widen, suddenly aware of his mistake. With one last tug I tie the bandage and give his knee a reassuring squeeze. I reach for an adhesive bandage in the package, for the gash on his cheek. I just wish we could stop talking about this. I know I sound insensitive, but I don't want to hear them talk about their water shortage and hard lives. I'm sad for them, really – I'm not heartless. But there's nothing I can do about it. And I need time alone. To think. To put some order into my own thoughts, without having to constantly process something new. I need to talk to Kurogane about what happened in the Library. Maybe even talk to Fai. I brush the blood away from Syaoran's cheek with my thumb and place the bandage.

"Well, there's the Tower too," Kazuki says, distractedly poking Mokona. The fur-ball twirls happily at so much attention. But the child's eyes meet mine, probably remembering my earlier question. I smile softly at him.

"Are you talking about those people who came earlier?" Kurogane grunts. Kusanagi nods.

"Not so long ago, the other buildings hadn't corroded yet. But over these fifteen years, only the Tokyo Government office and Tokyo Tower remain. They seem almost unaffected. Why… I wonder," he says thoughtfully.

"So the only water in this country is beneath this building and the Tokyo Tower, where those people came from," Fai says, but it is also a question, mostly directed at me. I shake my head.

"This is a desert," I say quietly. No traces of water anywhere around here except for under our feet. If I strain really hard, I can find a faint presence to the northeast, but that must be the Tower. And it's so much weaker than the water here.

"You can't really call this a country," says Kazuki, looking at us with knowledge that surpasses his years. "There are only 23 districts where people still live." I look sadly at him hold Mokona tightly to his chest. He's not fifteen years old. This way of life is all he's ever known. It's no way to grow up. It's no way for any child to grow up.

Yuuto leans against the wall, looks up to the ceiling and sighs. "I guess you could call it all that's left of Tokyo," he breathes out. Syaoran's gaze looks out to the landscape beyond our windows.

"Tokyo…" he repeats thoughtfully.

XxX

I'm sitting in front of a window, breathing the acidic smell of the night. The view from up here is like a vision of apocalypse; strings of deadly rain partially hide it from my eyes, but I can guess its shapes and corners. I am sitting atop a broken world, where all I can do is watch. There is no glass in this window; if I only reach forward I know that I will feel the sting of the acid rain. Another gust of wind blows in, sending a few droplets with it. This feels unreal. I fleetingly wonder if I could jump from here and fly, then scoff at my own idea.

For the third time I try to sense Sakura's feather, like Mokona can. But whatever power lies in the water below stays determinedly out of my reach, pushing away like a ripple just when I think I can feel it, almost as though the water was purposely hiding it from me. It's frustrating.

"Asleep yet?" I call out to Syaoran. My only answer is a loud snore. I chuckle. The boy is kneeling beside the bed, his head lying in the folds of his arms, fast asleep. Before him is Sakura, so peaceful despite this nightmarish world, Mokona cuddled against her neck. I hope she's having sweet dreams.

"No." I jump, not expecting another answer to my question. It's Kurogane, stepping out from behind a curtain. He and the mage have been exploring the building, leaving me with the kids. I smile.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself," he says, sitting down beside me, but facing towards the room. We stay like this for a few moments, thinking. He's the first to speak.

"How's your leg?" he asks, frowning. I shrug, flexing the offensive limb back and forth.

"It's fine now," I say. "I think it was just the running, and I landed really badly back there too." Kurogane grunts, unconvinced.

"According to that doctor, you should be good as new by now," he says, and I can tell that if the doctor wasn't a few worlds away, he'd be hearing from the ninja right now.

"Yeah, well I haven't exactly been following what the doctor ordered for a few days, have I?" I answer. I hardly think that racing in the finals and escaping from a library intent on having you killed is compatible with the intensive rest I was ordered. But Kurogane just scowls, probably blaming the entire world for the fact that I nearly got caught back there. I don't ask what happened to those witches that were following us. I don't want to know.

"Where's Fai?" I ask instead.

"Somewhere with that Yuuto person. He said they're hunting for bed sheets or something like that."

"Ah." Another silence.

"Why do you think he did it?" the ninja asks gruffly. I don't have to ask who or what he's talking about. I've been waiting long enough to talk about it as well. I look to him.

"Do you remember Koryo?" I answer with a question. He grunts affirmatively. "Remember when you asked him if he would use his magic to get us out of there, because it looked like we were all going to die?"

"He said no," the ninja recalls, nodding. I smile sadly.

"He said that he didn't want to die, but even that fact wasn't going to get him to use magic. He said it was a promise he made, you know. To someone he cares about. He wouldn't tell me who. Do you think it has anything to do with that man that sleeps underwater?" I don't know why I'm talking so much. Probably because I feel like I should be telling him this, so that we both stand on the same page. Maybe because I realize that, although we should be talking about this late into the night, there is very little for us to say. Very little for us to do.

Kurogane grunts. "Maybe," he says. "Do you really care?" My next smile is painful, somewhere between my chest and my throat.

"Honestly? I just want him to stop lying. I don't really care what happened to him before. Is that selfish?" I laugh nervously. But the ninja just shakes his head.

"It's not selfish if that's what he wants, too," he replies. I nod. All of this has just managed to unlock the turmoil I had put away safely in a corner of my mind, until there was a time where I could think about it again. Too many emotions are fighting over each other, trying to be heard.

"Why do you think he did it?" I return the ninja's earlier question. He shrugs.

"He wouldn't have done it if it was just him that was in trouble," he states plainly. I bite my thumb. I already knew he did it for us. But that also means…

"Would you break a promise you made to someone you cared about, if it meant protecting someone you cared about even more?" I ask softly. By the way the ninja's body tenses, I can tell he hadn't thought of it this way.

"Would you?" his voice is barely a whisper. I risk a tiny smile.

"That's not my question," I whisper back. He knows it's not. He just doesn't want to answer. It's a tough one for anybody, and I know Kurogane doesn't lie outright. His silence means that he doesn't know the answer. I don't even know what my answer would be. But I have an idea what Fai's answer was.

I let my head fall back with a sigh. There's nothing else to say, really. There's no great mystery about it, and that's what hurts a little bit. Because I'm afraid again, of getting close to them. I remember telling myself that it was fine as long as we didn't get too close. I remember Henrik telling me that it was okay to get attached to things, that it made you care. But I never got any advice about getting attached to people, and suddenly, I wish I had. I'm not longer scared about my decision, when the time will come to leave them. I'll choose what I want to choose, and that's that. But I'm scared of having to say goodbye.

I soon find that I'm looking at Syaoran, with mixed tenderness and disbelief. He's acted so normal since we've been here; I have trouble believing what we saw at the Central Library. I haven't seen any sign of the icy stare from the boy who fought the watchdog since then.

"How do you think it happened?" Kurogane asks suddenly, as though he had read my thoughts. I shrug, unable to hide my worry.

"I don't know," I admit in a whisper.

"It wasn't him," the ninja says gruffly. I nod.

"The presence was similar, but… there was something missing," I add. "Like he wasn't really… there."

"His aura was different," he agrees. "It wasn't him, and yet it wasn't anyone else either." I take my head in my hands and sigh. Nothing I know could cause this.

"Do you think maybe… someone could be controlling him? Like… hypnosis, in a way?" I ask, my voice sounding far away. There's a pause.

"I don't think it's anybody else's doing," he admits. I shake my head.

"You mean that the… person who fought the watchdog was Syaoran?" I hiss. No, that's just not possible. Syaoran wouldn't do something like that. And he doesn't seem to remember what happened. It wasn't him.

"I'm not sure why I sense that. But I do," he says, looking straight in front of him. I shake my head.

"Well, your sensor's wrong. Syaoran wouldn't do that," I say glumly. The ninja turns to look at me.

"I never said he was doing it on purpose," he grunts. I can tell he's getting irritated. That doesn't stop me from replying.

"If he's not doing it himself, then tell me how no one else is involved!" I snap. Now I'm the one becoming irritated. Kurogane's eyes widen, as though shocked. It's true that we haven't really fought in a while.

"Maybe someone else is involved, but not directly," he says slowly, like he doesn't want to startle me anymore. That's strange, because Kurogane rarely seems to care about people's feelings. I bite my lip.

"I won't believe that Syaoran is to blame for this," I finally say, hunching over my knees. I can't believe that. Not our Syaoran.

There's an awkward silence. Then the ninja speaks.

"What I'm saying is that, whatever's going on, we have to figure it out. And we'll stop it," he says gruffly, and I can hear his steely determination. "We'll find out who this other boy is, and we'll find a way to stop whatever he's doing to the kid." I notice that he's no longer saying that it's coming from Syaoran, and I'm grateful for that. Blaming Syaoran for something he visibly has no control over is unthinkable.

I nod fiercely. "We'll protect him," I finish. "We'll protect them all, no matter what." That way, Fai won't have to break any promises to save us. And Syaoran will be all right. He won't disappear, and he won't get hurt. I just don't want his eyes to freeze over again.

"Anything else on your mind?" Kurogane asks, looking at me like he's trying to read my soul. I shrug.

"Thanks," I finally say. "For stopping that arrow. I could be dead by now." I feel guilty for not thanking the ninja earlier, but the circumstances weren't exactly adequate. I hope he realizes that this isn't just an afterthought.

There's a hand on my head, ruffling my hair. "You know, you usually only give your life for someone when there's no other option," Kurogane says. At first I frown, thinking that the ninja has attempted humour, only too look up to him and realize that he's serious. "Actually," he continues, brows knit together, "you try not to give your life away at all. Because that can really hurt the people you leave behind." I grimace.

"There didn't seem to be much option back there," I protest his underlying reproach. He shrugs.

"You could've run," he says. My eyes go wide and I feel my cheeks go white.

"And leave Syaoran alone?" I exclaim vehemently, then remember the two sleeping forms on the bed and quiet down to a whisper. "Are you serious? No!" I'm trembling in shock that he could think so lowly of me; abandon Syaoran, alone and wounded? What kind of person does he think I am? He grunts and looks away.

"You always were the reckless one," he grumbles; and suddenly, I'm beaming. Because he can't hide the approval in his voice, and neither can he stop the tiny flash of pride from his eyes. "Stop smiling," he says gruffly, looking back at me, visibly trying to conceal it. I stick out my tongue teasingly.

"For once, I put my life in danger and you're not trying to kill me for it; I'll cherish it," I reply lightly.

Before he can react, we hear a noise at the door.

"Awww, they're already sleeping?" Fai's cheery voice makes us turn to him. I look up to see the mage holding up an armful of linen. "We found bedsheets and blankets for everyone!" he announces proudly. Yuuto is standing behind him, smiling. I smile back, but my anxiousness resurfaces with Fai's presence. Beside me, Kurogane is looking intently at the mage. He doesn't look at anything else.

"Hi," I say, but everything I can think about when I look at Fai is the reason why he used magic although he said he wouldn't. The mage doesn't seem to notice. Instead, he turns to me with an angelic smile that means nothing good.

"You can stop sulking now, Raki-chan! We got you a job!"

"Kusanagi let it slip in front of the children that there was a storyteller in our midst, and now the parents are having all the trouble in the world to get them to bed," Yuuto explains with a rather bored smile. I'm torn between hissing at Fai for that lie about me sulking all night, or grinning at the thought of helping with the children. I choose to smile, but still shoot Fai a warning glance. The fact that he knows me so well is only a reminder of how close I'm getting to all of them, and I don't want to think about that right now.

"I'll be right there," I say, standing up eagerly. In my head, I'm already going through my repertoire of fairytales, casting away those who seem too bleak or violent. Anything to help those children have some fun in this place where no one should have to live. "I'll be back. Don't wait up for me." I send one last look at Kurogane and Fai, unable to hide my little satisfied grin, before stepping behind Yuuto. I tenderly ruffle Syaoran's hair as I pass by him. We'll find out what's happening to him, and we'll stop it before it's too late.

Behind me, Kurogane and Fai look at each other in silence.

XxX

I'm exhausted as I step back towards our room. For three hours I've been eagerly ordered to tell story after story, drying up my selections only halfway through. Under Kusanagi's amused gaze I've had to make up stories as I went, sometimes adding twists and turns at the children's request, and finally ending with the tale of a young boy and his three companions who traveled through dimensions to find the soul fragments of a princess, helped by a magical white creature who loved to eat apples. They were constantly harassed by an evil witch with long black hair, but because she had been the one to give them the magical fur-ball in the first place, they couldn't directly fight her without being rude.

I remember when I compared our ordeal to a fairytale, once. Sakura was the princess and Syaoran the prince, of course. Kurogane was the silent bodyguard who helped the young prince and princess to defeat their opponents. Fai was the annoying yet knowledgeable elf who prepared them for every challenge they would have to face. And I had no idea where I fit in all of that.

But telling stories isn't the only reason I'm tired tonight. All those children, with their keen faces turned up towards me, eyes open wide, sent me back to the days where I would tell fairytales to the twins. We would go in their room, close the door and they would slide in bed and look at me expectantly. I took my time, rummaging through the small bookshelf of stories I already knew by heart, pretending not to be able to decide which tale to tell. They tried to sit still, but they could never quite manage to stay silent until I picked the story I would tell that night. Hinata in particular would shriek impatiently if I took too long, which ripped a smile from me every time. Then I would sit on the bed, open the book on my lap and start talking. I would make them believe in this fairy land where everything was possible, where princesses were trapped in ivory towers only to be rescued by knights in shining armour, where people could sleep for one hundred years and wake up to true love's kiss; I would make myself believe, although fleetingly, in this world I had to give up all too soon for the one where the evil stepmother was your blood relation and the kingdom's treasury was filled by your four part-time jobs. But those days are over. They'll never hear fairytales from me again. But no black-haired witch will keep me from going back to them.

When I reach our allotted room, Kurogane is nowhere in sight. I shrug. He probably went to talk with Yuuto and Kusanagi, or he's decided to explore the seventh floor. Syaoran and Sakura haven't moved an inch since I've left, but the mattress has been covered with sheets. I notice with some alarm that Fai is collapsed against a wall, unmoving.

"Fai?" I ask worriedly, kneeling next to him. Then I smile tenderly. He's sound asleep.

In this very moment, all the confusion about his actions makes way to only one thing: gratitude. He's the reason we escaped, and thanks to him I'll be able to see Hisho and Hinata again. No matter his reasons, no matter his secrets and his lies. I owe him.

I take the bed sheet still thrown around his arm and crumple it into a pillow, which I place under his head. He seems so vulnerable when he's asleep, almost like a child again. And he also seems so sad; my heart hurts a little bit when I watch him. I wonder what he's dreaming about. I hope it's a good dream.

I turn away and grab a blanket for myself. There's no more place on the mattress, so I decide to sleep on the floor. I'm so tired that my body can't tell the difference, anyway. I choose a spot at random, but away from the windows, where rain can't fall on me in my sleep. When I stretch out my foot accidentally nudges Fai's leg, and I smile. Of all places.

I fall asleep like this, thinking of my brother and sister, in this little place where despite all my best efforts I cannot feel uncomfortable. Fai and Syaoran, Sakura and Kurogane, Mokona… we are all together in this. And, in spite of the nightmarish landscape behind us I have the certainty that because of that, everything will be alright.


	39. Once Upon a Rainy Day

**DISCLAIMER: you already know this…**

**I hope this one is… okay. I'm getting critical to the point of paranoia for those next chapters, which completely negates any ability I used to have to arbitrarily judge my own work. So I have no idea what I'm feeding you. I can only hope it's not bad.**

**Okay, my shuffle play list is against me, I swear. I'm writing this and the saddest, most **_**à-propos **_**songs just start playing on my computer, and then I actually have to stop writing cause I'm totally in the moment and Rain**__**from Breaking Benjamin is playing and I don't want to start crying…**

**XxX**

"_Hello there, my little sorceress," the voice hisses in my ear. I can't help but whimper. It's been so long since the last time… "Oh? You thought you could get rid of me?" The idea seems laughable to it. "You should know me enough by now to know that I will never give up, sweet monster of mine. Ah, but that's right…" something brushes against my cheek and I try to pull away, but there's a hard surface under my head, "you don't remember that, don't you. No matter. I promised myself that I would break you and I will, whether you remember me or not." A chuckle. "Such a pity. They should never have hidden your memories when you traveled through the world-barrier. It would have made you so much easier to find." The darkness seems to freeze around me, and the voice turns into a beastly snarl. "You seem to have more control than I thought at first, you little bastard of a witch. I've waited to see you break on your own, but to naught. But I'll get to you, you soulless shell. You think you've found safety, you think you're not a monster but I… I…" For the first time it doesn't seem to know what to say. Now the cold is creeping into my veins, around my throat until I can barely breathe. I try to move away, but I can't. The cold swells like a storm around me, and the only thing that is still warm is my heart, pounding loudly in my chest. I'm not sure why but I know that I have to leave, to run, anywhere away from this cold that threatens to bury me. And I can't move. "I'LL KILL YOU!" Everything explodes around me, and I can't help but scream. The cold recedes to my heart, trying to push through the last remaining warmth in my body. I fight against it with all my might, and barely manage to keep it at bay before it vanishes suddenly. I close my eyes, but it doesn't make any difference to the darkness. There's a heavy breath next to my ear, echoing my breathless gasps. "Why… is there always… this little part of you that I can't reach? Why can't I break you like everyone else? Why… WHY?" I wince as the scream echoes inside of me. Slender fingers caress my throat. "I'll find a way…" it whispers, "yes I will, you pitiful excuse for a living being. I won't let you unpunished, after what you've done… I'll mangle your soul until you beg me to take you completely, to kill you. And I won't make it quick, oh no I won't. You won't have any chance. You won't escape from me a second time. And all those others you call friends, they won't help you. You think they actually care about you?" A chuckle like a rain of ice. "Even if they do now, they'll be too broken to care by the time you need them. And you won't be able to stop me." The fingers close like a vice against my throat, and only then can I move. But it's no use; I struggle until my body falls back like a broken doll, until a sharp burn runs through me like a river of flames, while the voice's crazed laughter echoes around me. _

XxX

I'm biting my thumb so hard to muffle my screams that I taste blood under my tongue. My body is shaking uncontrollably, damp with sweat and tears. I curl up on myself, refusing to open my eyes, but the darkness reminds me too much of the dream. That laugh rings in my ears still, and I can almost feel the cold creeping through my body, reaching for my core. I press a hand to my heart and feel it pound against my chest.

_You won't be able to stop me, my little sorceress. _

And I'm tempted to believe her.

XxX

I stretch my fingers towards the ceiling, looking outside. Most of the storm has passed, but rain still drizzles from the sky and the light grey clouds hide the sun. The surrounding area seems even bleaker than last night, because now I can see it.

It's strange, how this rain's presence is different from normal water's, and yet it's incredibly similar. There's just a nostalgic little note of acid when each drop hits the ground, like a memory.

The only trace of my nightmare is a thin, red, crescent moon scar mirrored on both sides of my thumb. I brush my fingers against it distractedly as I look outside. I know those nightmares are just dreams, just creations of my subconscious, but it's hard to tell myself that when that voice awakens a terror so deep I couldn't have made it up. Especially when it tells me things I don't even know.

I shake my head. No, those are probably just things I've made up, things I suspect but don't know for certain. Besides, you can't speak to other people in your dreams.

That's not true. I grimace, shivering. Tomoyo-hime, Kurogane's princess, can speak to others in her dreams. She's spoken to Tomoyo-chan from Piffle that way.

But then does that mean you can only speak to those who share your soul? Or can you connect any dream with yours? I don't know what scares me more; that this voice might be something I've never seen before, or that it might be a reflection of myself. I sigh and shake my head. These are just thoughts, speculations. Because these dreams are not real. They can't be.

Kurogane stirs behind me. We are the only ones awake in the room. Fai was awake before me, but now he's gone to talk with Yuuto. Apparently they have work for us today, so we can pay for our room and food. The rations are small here, but it's more food than we could expect in the desert, so I'm grateful. Kurogane was still sleeping until recently, and now he's just pacing in the room like he has nothing better to do. I guess we don't, until Fai comes back. As for Syaoran, he hasn't moved since last night. No progress with Sakura, either. I'm actually glad she's not awake; I wouldn't want her to see this place.

I hear the ruffling of the sheets behind me, but the noise that really gets my attention is the interruption of Kurogane's steady footsteps against the hard floor.

"Kid?" the ninja says, incredulity piercing through his gruff tone. I turn around, wondering what could be wrong, and stop short. Although he still looks half-asleep, Syaoran has grabbed Kurogane's arm and is holding him back. But that's not why I gasp. His eyes have frozen over.

Kurogane's eyes narrow suspiciously. "You're not him," he tells the boy, who doesn't move. "You're the one who showed up that time when we were in the book, right? Who are you?" I can only watch as the boy who isn't Syaoran lift his head to look blankly at the wall behind Kurogane.

"I've waited for you for a long time, Syaoran," he says softly, almost like they were words he has rehearsed. I look to Kurogane, alarmed. The boy stands up, still holding on to the ninja's arm. Kurogane grabs his wrist and tries to pull him away, but the other Syaoran refuses to budge.

"Syaoran, let go of him," I say with as much calm authority as I can muster. I'm afraid of what he might do. I exchange an alarmed glance with Kurogane. We've both seen this boy fight, and we don't know what could push him to do so. But his eyes tell me he will feel no remorse to hurt us. Which poses another problem: will we be able to fight back against him, knowing whose body he's wearing?

He turns slowly to me, staring at me with those cold eyes. My heart starts beating loudly. "Let him go," I repeat, deliberately enunciating every syllable. I get no reaction. My heart is pounding like a bird trying to get out of its cage. I'm scared of what he might do next. The ninja has stopped pulling, but his hand is still on the boy's wrist. Fai chooses this moment to come back.

"Syaoran-kun, Sakura-chan! Are you awake yet?" he calls joyfully, stepping through the curtains, holding up a pile of clothing. He freezes when he sees us. His eyes go from me, standing stiffly and biting my lip, to Kurogane and Syaoran, caught in what could pass for a strange handshake. He frowns anxiously.

"Syaoran… kun?" he asks hesitantly. The boy's icy gaze leaves me to settle on Fai, whose face grows even more nervous. Kurogane takes advantage of his inattention to try pulling his arm away again. I can tell he's no longer watching out from worry of hurting the boy; he wants that hand off of him. I can't blame him. I'm scared too.

But this time, we get a reaction from him. With a surprised gasp, the boy winces in pain, then blinks furiously. When he looks back up to Kurogane, I breathe a sigh of relief. He's back to normal.

"Ah…" Syaoran says, looking around him, visibly confused as to why he is here. "Kurogane-san? Aisha-chan? Fai-san?" There are questions in his eyes, but none of us dare to answer them. I'm pretty sure none of us know how to. Fai is the first one to speak, faking a huge smile.

"Good morning! It's still dark outside, but it's already time to get up," he says cheerfully. "Looks like you don't have a fever from your injury, which is good. How are you feeling?" Syaoran frowns but answers, still baffled.

"I'm… feeling alright," he says. Fai holds up the clothes in his hands.

"Look, the people here lent us these clothes," he announces. "They say that if we plan to stay here we should wear these. They want us to help them with something. But," he adds, looking a bit worried, "I think it'd be better if you rested a bit, Syaoran-kun." The boy shakes his head.

"No, I must go," he declares. "We might find out something about the feather."

"We can just tell you if we find something," I offer, secretly hoping he'll decide to rest. His leg isn't close to being healed yet, and… this morning's episode has made me worried. I'd feel better if he was under someone's supervision, where any problem can be taken care of quickly, instead of running around doing whatever those people want us to do.

"I'm going," Syaoran replies, looking at me this time. I look into his hazel eyes, warm and expressive like they should be, and nod with a sigh. I can't make him change his mind once he's decided something. He turns to Fai. "What will we be doing?" he asks. Fai smiles dumbly.

"Let's talk about that later," he says, handing over some clothes to Syaoran. "Why don't you put on your clothes first?" With a nod, the boy heads towards the far part of the room, where a corner is dissimulated from our view by curtains. His leg still wobbles under him. "See you later!" Fai calls, waving, but his heart isn't into it. As soon as Syaoran is out of earshot, he looses the smile and turns to us with a serious expression. "That Syaoran-kun…" he says slowly, as though still in disbelief of what he saw.

"It wasn't him," Kurogane confirms curtly, visibly upset.

"Has this happened before?" the mage asks, looking to where Syaoran disappeared from our view. I shake my head.

"Yes," I answer, sensing the boy's presence on the other side and reassured that it really is him. "It's happened before. At the Library."

"But he doesn't seem aware of it," Kurogane continues, crossing his arms over his chest. Fai seems disturbed.

"It seems like… his eyes… were so cold…" he mutters. I bite my lip. We'll find out what's going on, and we'll stop it. There's no other way.

And yet… as I stare at the curtains behind which the boy disappeared, I can't help but feeling the hands of a giant clock turning, counting the time before every last inch of control slips away from me.

Before it's too late.

XxX

I'm pretty sure Kurogane doesn't know what a nanny is, because I don't think he would have agreed with Fai's idea. He still seems a bit grumpy when I step out from behind the curtains after slipping into a short-legged cat suit, with long boots and a utility belt. I know he just couldn't have said no to Fai, but I can't help but tease him.

"Now, you don't open the door to anybody you don't know, you don't talk to strangers and you make sure Sakura's safe before you jump into a fight like a maniac, got that?" I ask, quoting the directions he would give me in Outo when he had to leave me in charge of the café. I grin. The corner of his mouth doesn't even twitch.

"Kuro-tan, we have to know that you can take good care of our Sakura-chan!" Fai continues. "What if a big, bad monster walks in this room and tries to eat her alive?"

"Mokona will protect Sakura, don't worry!" the fur-ball exclaims, jumping up and down excitedly. I smile.

"You, little monster, are coming with us," I correct. "You're way too useful to hide in here while we have all the fun," I continue, purposely poking at Kurogane. All I get is a grunt in response. Syaoran is watching us silently, obviously dreading Kurogane's imminent explosion. I know he wants to avoid conflict, but he won't offer to stay with Sakura instead of the ninja. He's too eager to find anything we can about the feather. I won't offer myself either; I have to move around, or I'll go crazy.

"You have your stuff?" Kurogane asks suddenly, looking at me. I smile.

"Yup," I reply, taping my belt. My whip is loosely slung there, ready for use. Kurogane grunts appreciatively.

"And your knife?" he asks. I nod.

"In my boot."

Fai gasps overdramatically. "Has Pinky-chan no trust in our hosts?"

"Not one bit," I admit, shrugging. They may have lent us a room, food and medicine, but some of them have made it clear that they would have rather killed us on the spot. I'm determined to keep a healthy climate of distrust between us.

I lose my goofy smile as I turn to Kurogane once more. "But you will be careful, right? I mean, we don't know much about this place." The ninja grunts, cocking one of his eyebrows up. I chuckle. "How long have you been a bodyguard and who am I to tell you what to do, I know," I smile. This rips a wolfish grin from his face.

"Exactly," he says, settling more comfortably against the bed.

"Waah! Kurogane looks scary!" Mokona exclaims, soon joined by Fai.

"I think I'll tell all the monsters to stay away! Kuro-wanwan will eat them alive!" the mage adds, grinning. Even Syaoran smiles a little.

"Are you guys ready? We're waiting for you!" we hear Kusanagi's voice boom from outside the room. I sigh.

"We're coming!" I call back, grabbing one of the heavy, rainproof cloaks that they've given us and pulling it on. "Is everyone ready?" I'm a little anxious about this work, mostly because Fai has still refused to explain to me and Syaoran what we'll be doing. At the same time, I'm eager to do something to keep me busy. It's better than standing around all day.

Before we can walk through the door, Kurogane turns to Mokona. "Oy, Manjuu," he calls, holding out his hand. "My sword." Mokona spits it out gladly. I give Kurogane a knowing glance.

"You'll be careful," I caution.

"So will you," he replies. I smile softly. That's our exchange: he makes Fai happy, I protect them from anything that might happen. And I can almost hear Kurogane add gruffly: _and you don't get killed in the process._

"Goodbye, Kurogane-san," Syaoran waves as we leave the room.

XxX

Wind and rain batter my face as I clear the broken-down fence with barely concealed exhilaration. The speed of the hoverbike brings a weird sense of familiarity in this place where everything is strange and wrecked. The apocalyptic background blurs around me until I can barely make it out anymore. Completing the scene, Syaoran and Fai zoom by me in a flash; Fai's laughing like an idiot in the back while Syaoran steers their hoverbike through this wasteland with a look of sheer terror on his face. With a laugh, I bring myself so as to ride flank against flank with them.

"Do you need help?" I offer Syaoran, who nods. There is nothing left of the cold boy from this morning: there's only Syaoran, and I am glad for that. His teeth are clenched together and his eyes wide as he tries to drive this foreign vehicle through this obstacle course. "Just slow down, for one," I start, then proceed to explain the steering mechanism of the hoverbike. Its uncanny resemblance to a motorcycle has made it easy for me to understand, but it is quite different from a dragonfly, the last mechanical beast that Syaoran has had to drive. The last thing we need is for him to get into an accident, with his leg already injured. I swear, if I ever get a hold of him, Kamui will be paying for that one for a long time.

"You're falling behind!" Yuuto reminds us amiably as he passes by. I stick out my tongue at his back, something I haven't done it a while. Fai laughs.

"Aren't you harsh this morning!" he exclaims. "He was just teasing, you know."

"Teasing, teasing," Mokona sings, suddenly popping out from Fai's hood.

"They're all getting on my nerves," I reply gruffly, shrugging. I know I've been trying to act relaxed, and this ride has awakened some playfulness in me, but I've been on edge since we've gotten here. Maybe it's the vision of apocalypse that this world offers, or maybe Syaoran's new condition is making me worried. Maybe it's the nightmare as well, coming back after such a long time. All I know is that every time I open my eyes, I become wary. Kurogane's the same way, I could tell by the way we both thought of bringing weapons to this hunting party. How he suggested putting my whip at my belt, where Mokona's help isn't necessary to unlatch it and strike, or how he decided to keep his sword by his side when he found out the fur-ball would be coming with us. He's just as untrusting as I am of this place. Syaoran is uncomfortable here as well, but he naturally trusts people; so he kept Hien safely hidden away. As for Fai, I don't know. He's always been hard to read, but it's been even worst since yesterday. The only thing I know is that we'd already be far away from here if Mokona couldn't sense Sakura's feather underneath the Government building.

"Are you sure you can handle it? Fai could drive," I ask Syaoran worriedly, eyeing his injured leg. He smiles reassuringly.

"I'll be fine," he says. "Besides, I like driving." I grimace.

"Fai could ride with me, if he's bothering you." I know how distracting the mage can be when he wants to. But Syaoran only chuckles, shaking his head.

"He's not bothering me at all, but thanks, Aisha-chan," he says.

"Didn't we say we would try for just Aisha?"

The boy laughs again. "We've really fallen behind," he counters, speeding up towards the others before I can place another word. I pout while Fai laughs in my face. I just don't like it when people are formal around me, but I know that I'll eventually win this argument.

I press on the gas, steering my hoverbike trough a pile of rubbles to reach the rest of the group faster. If it was just the three of us this could be considered fun, but thanks to the Water guardians we weren't allowed to step out alone. It seems they trust us about as much as we trust them. Fortunately I don't dislike Kusanagi and I can stand Yuuto – I could probably stand Nataku too, if it wasn't for his habit of calling me 'the mutant' whenever the occasion presents itself.

"Are you sure your injury is okay?" Yuuto cordially asks Syaoran as they ride close to each other. The boy nods.

"Yes," he answers with a small smile.

"It doesn't matter," Nataku comment harshly, looking at us suspiciously as we rejoin them. It's as though he thinks we were conspiring back there. "If they plan to stay here, they have to work. No work means no food. None at all."

"Uh-huh," I reply sceptically. "You're talking like we can't find food for ourselves." I know we can't, but I'm just saying it out of spite. Anything can be considered a threat when it comes from him – he was in favour of killing us yesterday. Our eyes lock in glares.

"Why are we bringing the mutant again?" Nataku asks suddenly, frustration clearly piercing through his voice.

"Why am I putting up with you again?" I snarl, affectionately tapping my whip. I hate being called a mutant. He makes it sound like I'm barely human.

Nataku sends me a dirty look, which I send right back. From the corner of my eye I can see Syaoran glancing at me with a puzzled expression. Fai's just humming a song with Mokona as though nothing is happening. Nataku snorts, then finally leaves, joining the other two. I grin at my partial victory.

"I was hoping that big friend of yours would join us," Kusanagi says, ignoring the altercation.

"The one that fought a round against Kamui?" Yuuto asks, grinning at the memory. I wonder where the strange boy has gone. We haven't seen him anywhere since he left us to the others yesterday. Even as the leader, he seems like an outsider.

"That guy, he's tough and strong," Kusanagi muses, looking up to the sky.

"Mhm, he would have liked to come," Fai chips in, "but I asked him to do me a favour. Sakura-chan is still sleeping, and I wanted to come with Syaoran!" I turn around to look at them. Syaoran doesn't seem to grasp the meaning of those words, but I do. Fai doesn't just want to come out here for the pleasure of fresh air: he wants to keep an eye on Syaoran, in case something happens like it did this morning. I thought this was the reason, but now that I have it confirmed, I'm uneasy. I get the distinct feeling that Fai knows something and he's not telling me. I bite my lip. I don't like this, but I have to trust him. And I'll get him to tell me what he knows when we get back.

"So Kurogane is acting as a nanny!" Mokona chirps, suddenly poking his head from the depths of Fai's hood.

"Yup!" the mage agrees with a smug smile. "So we'll just have to do our best, right guys?"

"Alright!" Syaoran agrees determinedly.

"We're worth at least three of Kuro-sama, right?" I joke. We all know we're nowhere near the ninja. I turn to Kusanagi. "By the way, you guys still haven't told us what we're doing."

"Ah, but that's a surprise, little girl," Kusanagi laughs. I lift an eyebrow.

"Do I look like a little girl to you?" I ask. He laughs again.

"Actually, you look pretty threatening right now," he answers, looking up. I frown. I know he's joking, and I don't really like it. Suddenly, Yuuto points to a point in front of us.

"We're almost there," he announces, leading us on a stretch of broken road overlooking the desert. Following his example, we stop before we run over its edge. There's nothing past this stretch, not even ruins or stone, just sand. I exchange a glance with Syaoran and Fai, and see that they've noticed it too. "This area used to be full of run-down buildings, so now there's almost nothing left," Yuuto answers our silent question. Syaoran nods, observing the area with interest. Fai holds out a gloved hand.

"Seems like it stopped raining," he announces joyfully. I frown. It's true that I no longer feel the acidic tang of the raindrops. Tentatively, I take off my hood. Sure enough, there's nothing left pouring from the sky. I turn to Kusanagi, nervously toying with my whip.

"Now can you tell us what we're doing?" I ask. Loosing his smile, the tall man gestures for me to stop talking.

"They're coming," he says, his body tensing.

"Who's coming?" Mokona asks shyly, but before anyone can answer I feel the ground shake under our hoverbikes. Shooting out from the dunes in front of us, a worm-like monster bears its small, sharp teeth in our direction. I muffle a yelp, my eyes growing wide. It seems to lean forward for a dive, its mouth wide open. My whip is already at the ready, but the others are faster; Kusanagi, Yuuto and Nataku pull out crossbows from under their cloaks in a well-rehearsed order, and shoot. With three clean shots to the throat, the beast wavers over us, spurting thick blood, then falls back with a deafening roar. Everything is frozen for an instant.

"What the hell was that?" I scream, suddenly master of my vocals chords again. The others don't wait for us to dive down after the monster.

"A mutant, created by the acid rain," Kusanagi yells back. I glance at Syaoran and Fai beside me: the first is looking down at the beast with bewildered eyes while the second is busy laughing at my expression.

"Scared, Raki-chan?" he asks, chuckling.

"Shut up," I hiss harshly as we finally follow the others down the stretch of road. My heart has just started pounding. Fai has no business making fun of me when something that dangerous is looming a few metres above his head. "You could warn us next time!" I yell at Kusanagi as we get closer. We didn't even know that whatever we were doing involved man-eating earthworms. He laughs good-naturedly.

"No one was in danger, don't worry," he says reassuringly. "We would have told you otherwise." His words aren't really helping. I gesture for Syaoran to stay back as I drive closer to the beast's carcass. It's brown skin seems moist despite the sand surrounding it, and its mouth is open on two rows of teeth as sharp as daggers. I shudder as I imagine them piercing skin.

"Are you sure three arrows are enough to kill it?" I ask anxiously, peering over to see them. The projectiles seem ridiculously small compared to that monster.

"Probably. That's what we're checking," Kusanagi answers lightly. I glance at Syaoran; he's parked a few feet further from the worm-like monster, but I'm afraid that might still be too close if that thing's not really dead. Yuuto and Nataku have spread out on either side of the thing's body, examining it. They're a little close for caution, but I guess they know what they're doing.

"You eat this?" Fai asks curiously. Kusanagi nods.

"They're poisonous, but we can neutralize the venom and eat them," he answers. I grimace, thinking that this is probably what we ate last night. Disgusting.

"You said Mokona was a mutant!" the fur- ball begins to cry. "Does that mean you'll eat Mokona too?"

"You do look rather tasty," Kusanagi grins, then gestures towards me. "And she doesn't look too bad either."

"Wah!" Mokona cries, hanging on to my neck. "Don't eat us! We're not tasty!" I pat his small body distractedly, when a stirring noise attracts my gaze towards the lying carcass of the worm. There's a strange bulge forming in the sand beside it.

"What the…?" I mutter, holding Mokona safely against me and reaching for my whip.

A second later, I am looking directly at death.

Because nothing else can possibly come from the gaping mouth that has emerged from the sand, blocking off the horizon. The previous beast was but a baby compared to what is now looming above us. Mokona screams. My eyes train from the cavernous depths of the blood-red mouth, to the teeth above and below it, irregular and jagged, and finally land on the two shapes under it, tiny in comparison; Yuuto and Nataku.

"Damn!" Kusanagi exclaims, and I understand that even for them, this isn't something to be played with. He shoots an arrow towards the beast's mouth, but it ricochets without harming it. With an angry growl, it plunges towards the ground. Yuuto is fast enough to move out of the way, but Nataku stumbles as he jumps to his feet and the teeth already start to close around him. I can't see his face from here, but I know by heart the expression that must be etched on it: wide, terrified eyes, mouth open in a silent scream as his hopes are disappearing. I know what it's like to know that you're trapped, and that there are so many things you'll never see again.

Damn.

"Mokona!" Syaoran yells, but I don't know if he'll have time. I'll be faster. I throw Mokona in his direction.

"Catch!" And my feet are already moving closer to the closing mouth and Nataku trapped inside of it. I dig my heels into the ground as my whip snaps gracefully forward, finding Nataku's arm. I pull, just as I see Syaoran jump towards the beast's neck, Hien flaming bright. Nataku's body doesn't offer any resistance and it shoots out from between two teeth, falling on the sand just before Syaoran slices through the monster. I watch him land on his good leg, the worm's body to his right and its head to his left. Nataku still seems surprised to be alive, but he's not harmed.

I realize that I was holding my breath, and gasp for air.

"Syaoran!" I exclaim, running to him. "Are you okay?" The way he landed, his wound could have opened again. But when he turns towards me, he has a small, warm smile.

"I'm fine," he says. My eyes narrow in distrust, but he shakes his head. "I swear!" I sigh, evacuating the weight in my chest.

"Good," is all I can think of saying. We exchange the small smile of those who don't need words to speak. Then, as one, we turn to Nataku.

"Are you alright?" Syaoran is the first to reach him. The man swallows painfully.

"What about you?" he replies, slowly rubbing his upper arm where my whip caught him. His eyes are still wide, and he doesn't seem to have caught his breath. Syaoran stops short.

"Eh?" he asks.

"Your leg was wounded by Kamui," Nataku says, as though this was an explanation.

"Um… I'm fine," Syaoran answers, taken aback. I frown, then point to his arm.

"It might leave a bruise," I warn. By the way he's rubbing it, I'd say it will most definitely leave a bruise, and a pretty nasty one at that. I didn't go easy on the pulling, and a whip isn't a gentle thing.

"It's okay. I'm strong," he replies, looking away. I frown. What kind of an answer is that to someone who probably just saved his life?

I hear Yuuto chuckle behind us. "Don't mind him. Nataku's just embarrassed," he explains. Syaoran and I look to him.

"Huh?" we ask together. Yuuto smiles.

"Nataku's worrying about your wound. It means that he recognizes and even appreciates you," he tells Syaoran. "And he's just embarrassed to have been saved by a girl, that's all. He doesn't have anything to worry about for you," he continues, grinning at me. "I'm sorry, he's a little hard to understand." At those words, I can see the faintest of colour on Nataku's cheek.

Syaoran shakes his head hurriedly. "Ah, no, um… I'm completely all right, really…" he says, looking at Nataku. I put a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"Telling him three times won't make him feel any better," I say. "Besides, he's…"

"What's your name again?" Nataku asks suddenly, looking at me. I freeze.

"Excuse me?"

"I forgot your name," he repeats, looking down to his feet. One of my eyebrows lifts humorously.

"Hum… Aisha," I answer, looking away as well. I don't know why I saved him. Or actually, I know exactly why I saved him. Just because I've been where he's been before, hoping for a hand to grab me and pull me to safety. I know how reassuring that touch finally is, and how horrible is it when you realize it's never coming. I also know that I'm not capable of letting somebody die without giving my all to save them. If I would have stood there and watched, if Syaoran wouldn't have gotten there in time… I would have never forgiven myself. As much as I dislike him, he's human.

I jump when a hand falls on my shoulder. Looking back, I see Fai grinning down at me.

"Pinky-chan's a bit embarrassed too, don't worry," he starts. I send him a warning glance, but he doesn't seem like he's about to shut up, so lift my hand to whack him upside the head. He dodges it with ease, but at least he hasn't continued speaking. He grimaces playfully, and I hear Kusanagi laugh.

"So we have two mysterious souls here, do we?"

"Yep!" Fai answers joyfully. I scowl.

"Shut up," I whine, looking to the ground. It's not fair. Fai just seems to see things about me that I don't want people to see. And then he thinks it's fun to go around telling everyone about them. If only I could read him so well… but then I wouldn't tell. Except maybe Kurogane, but the ninja already knows almost everything there is to know about the mage.

"What's wrong, honey? You don't like it when I show the world how sweet and caring you really are?" he teases. I close my fists, my annoyance now bordering on bloodlust.

"Fai…" I warn. Suddenly, I hear Mokona gasp.

"Just now, I felt the power of Sakura's feather grow stronger," he announces, looking out curiously to the Government building we can see towering in the distance. We all freeze at that declaration. Syaoran's breath catches in his throat. Then he animates, turning towards the fur-ball.

"From where did you sense it?" he nearly yells, anticipation almost palpable on the air around him. Mokona pauses, seeming to concentrate. I'm already ready to run. If we can snatch the feather and get out of here, the faster the better. But Mokona shakes negatively.

"It's gone," he says sadly. "Just a moment ago it was very strong, but now I can't feel it anymore." Syaoran frowns, looking down like he's trying to hide his disappointment. I look at Fai, who shrugs. I shake my head. Neither of us can feel anything.

"A feather?" I whirl around to find the three Water guardians looking curiously at us. It was Kusanagi who spoke.

"Sakura? She's the girl who's been sleeping, isn't she?" Yuuto continues, suspicion in his eyes. Nataku finally stands up. I look at Syaoran, not daring to speak. They obviously want answers. The boy sighs and bites his lip, stepping towards the others.

"I need to find something," he admits sofly, clutching Hien closer to his chest, as though to prove his determination.

"Is it water?" Nataku asks distrustfully. The boy shakes his head.

"No," he answers, then looks back down. His fingers tighten around his sword. "But it's something very precious." There's pain in his eyes, like every time he mentions Sakura's memories. It must be so bittersweet, searching desperately for your most precious person's memories, all the while knowing that no matter how long you search, that person will never remember you. No matter how much blood you shed, how many years you toil under a thousand suns, there will be no saving what has been lost. My heart clenches. I want to hug him, so hard that it sucks the breath right out of him, just so he can know that he's not alone. We're all a part of his journey now, for better or for worst.

It takes seconds of unbearable silence before Kusanagi finally speaks.

"I understand," he says with a smile, patting Syaoran's shoulder. "Whatever it is, just don't touch our underground reservoir." The boy looks up, a little surprised to find such support. I clasp his arm warmly. Of course they'll believe him. When Syaoran speaks of Sakura, there is a fire so bright in his eyes that the blind could see it. A fire so pure that it would take the devil to doubt it.

"That's because Kamui is guarding it, right?" Fai asks, breaking the moment. "He's so scary!" I sigh, shaking my head. Leave it to him to be completely oblivious to the world around him. Suddenly curious, Syaoran perks up.

"Has he always been guarding the water?" he asks. I listen intently. I have to admit that I'm curious about that boy with the powerful aura.

Yuuto shakes his head. "No, not always," he answers. "Kamui is a lot like you… I think it was three years ago when he suddenly appeared in Tokyo." He looks away, thoughtful. "He appeared under the Government building. The underground water reservoir had been built in secret. We guarded it heavily so that nobody could barge in and discover it. And yet Kamui did." He has a small laugh. "At first we thought he was a water thief, but he was so strong… no one could stand close enough to capture him."

"No matter how many guards we sent, they were nothing against him," Kusanagi nods, rubbing his chin.

"We suffered many casualties," Nataku adds softly, closing his eyes, and I fleetingly wonder if maybe he knew some of them.

Yuuto's smile is hard now. "Indeed," he agrees. "When the situation became really bad, they called us over." Kusanagi crosses his arms over his chest thoughtfully.

"At that time, Kamui was in a kind of chaotic state," he remembers. Fai perks up.

"Chaotic?" he asks curiously, visibly wanting more information. Kusanagi frowns.

"How do I put it…" he mutters. Yuuto continues helpfully.

"It's like Kazuki put it," he says. "Back then, it was as if Kamui were a lost child." The idea of that boy looking anything like a lost child is hard to force into my head, but I have no reason to doubt Yuuto's words. "Even after he stopped being hostile, he didn't speak much with us," he continues, frowning. "He just gazed at the water, saying: 'I will stay here, and protect this place.'"

"Protect…" Syaoran repeats, frowning. I can't help but wonder what Kamui could be protecting down there. The water? That seems unlikely. The strange power I can feel lurking below it? Maybe, but I still don't know what it could be. It might be the feather, but we're not sure of that.

And then there's how he suddenly appeared, in a heavily guarded area, lost and confused… I look to Fai, and see that he's thinking the same as me: Kamui is from another world, too. How else could it be explained?

"It's like Kakyou said…" Nataku suddenly speaks, his eyes trained on Syaoran. To my surprise, there is no more distrust in those eyes, only a grave knowledge. "You and Kamui are alike. You're both searching for something." Syaoran and Nataku look at each other for a moment. "It's the feather, isn't it?" the later finally asks. Syaoran bows his head and nods.

"I want to get them all back," he says softly, so soft that I don't immediately notice the strange iciness to his voice. Then I turn to look at him, and my heart skips a beat. Those eyes…

"I must get them back," the boy who isn't Syaoran repeats, looking down at the sand. His eyes are vague, like he doesn't really see what's around him. Like he's entirely consumed by the thought of finding the feathers. And that's when I notice what's missing. The fire Syaoran radiates when he speaks of Sakura, the fire that burns bright in his eyes when he's searching for her feathers, it's not there anymore. Everything about this boy is as cold as ice.

My eyes fly up to Fai in alarm, but I'm too late to see his reaction; the mage is already looking away like he's trying to hide something. I hiss as the first drop of rain falls on my ear.

"Seems like it's raining again," Kusanagi says cheerfully, oblivious to our small crisis. I look back to Syaoran, trying to see how I should react, but at the sound of Kusanagi's voice the boy seems to jolt to life; his eyes flutter, now brown and warm, and he looks around him like he's confused. Slowly, he brings a hand to his right eye, his pupils dilated and his breath short, and my heart hurts. He seems so scared…

Without thinking, I wrap my arms around him and squeeze tight. I don't know how much he knows, how much he's figured out, and I don't think I could handle talking about it with him. But whatever's scaring him, if I can't stop it right now, then I'll at least show him that I'm here. I realize that I'm shaking, unable to stop. The truth is, I'm scared too. Scared of what he becomes when his eyes freeze over. And scared of loosing him to that other boy with the empty stare.

When I pull back, my mind is made up. I will make Fai tell me what he knows; I will punch it out of him if I have to. To use my strength to protect the ones I love. That is what I have promised Syaoran I would do, and that's exactly what I'll do.

Syaoran's expression is surprised. I smile feebly. "You could have been its next meal, rushing in like that," I admonish as flippantly as I can. "Be careful next time, okay?" He nods slowly, as though trying to wrap his head around the strength of my embrace and my words, so much lighter. I don't leave him the time to do that; I'm already running towards Fai, who has returned to his hoverbike.

"Fai," I say as Kusanagi and Yuuto are discussing the ways to bring back our catch, "we need to talk." The mage looks up curiously, and I notice Mokona's white form on his shoulder. I smile. "Moko-chan, why don't you go see if Kusanagi-san and Syaoran need any help?" I offer cheerily. The fur-ball hesitates for a moment, as though seeing through my façade, but nods and bounces away, singing a song. Fai watches him leave without a word, frowning. His fingers tense imperceptibly on the bike handles. He doesn't want to be alone with me, which only confirms my feelings even more.

"Fai," I repeat, "you have to tell me what you know." His eyes flicker to mine for an instant, and then his lips stretch into an empty smile.

"And what should I know?" he asks me in an attempt of lightness, but I hear the strain in his voice. I sigh.

"Please don't play dumb," I say, forcing him to look directly at me. "This is Syaoran we're talking about." _Not you. Not your past. You don't have to hide it._ "Fai, this is bad. It's the third time in two days, if you know something…"

"Bah! It's probably nothing," he shrugs.

"But what if it's not?" I exclaim, then remember that Syaoran and the others aren't too far away to hear us. "Even if you just suspect something," I hiss, "even if you're not sure, you have to tell us. Just in case it's true. You can't hide everything from us." There's no answer as Fai looks to the ground. I bite my lip. "Please…" I say, my voice nearly pleading. "You know I can't sense things like you can. If you feel anything…"

"You can feel absolutely everything that I can feel," Fai interrupts me, for the first time sounding serious. He looks up, and there's a small smile playing on his lips. "Do you have so little trust in yourself?" I know what he's doing, but I won't let him get away with it this time.

"Don't change the subject," I say, probably a little too harshly. I can swear I see Fai wince. "This is not about me, and it's not about you, either. It's about Syaoran." Fai looks sadly at the ground, then attempts a smile and pats my head.

"It's nothing to worry your little head about, you can trust me on that," he finally says. I pull away, already feeling the reply on my lips, when Kusanagi approaches us with a grin.

"Hey, you two lovebirds!" he calls, handing us ropes. His interjection makes the blood mount to my cheeks and I look down immediately, glaring at Fai although for once, it isn't his fault. Kusanagi laughs. "Here, you guys tie those ropes to your bikes, we'll use them to drag our catch back. And don't be lazy, or I'll make sure there's room for one more mutant in the pot!" he adds, smiling down at me. I hear Mokona whine in the distance.

"Wah! Kusanagi's a meanie! Mokona doesn't want to be eaten!"

Fai easily reverts back to his usual smile. "I'll take care of the other one," he volunteers, taking one of the ropes that Kusanagi is handing to us and walking towards our other hoverbike.

"Fai!" I call him back – I'm not finished with him – but Kusanagi has already thrust the other rope in my hands.

"Here, you just hook it there," he says, pointing. "We'll teach you guys how to pull without tipping anyone over, you'll see, it's easy." I nod, absentmindedly tying the rope to my hovercraft, watching Fai walk away with his back to me. Then I look at Syaoran, listening intently to Yuuto's directions, every bit the boy I know he is. There's no trace of the thing lurking within. Then I see Fai turn his head ever so slightly, thinking I won't notice, to send Syaoran a worried glance. I bite my lip, my eyes going nervously from one to the other and then finally settling on the mage.

_Fai… what are you hiding from me?_

I feel the final clog click in place, and the last inch of control I possessed slip away from my grasp.

XxX

It's pouring by the time we get back, and angry clouds are piling on the horizon. We've just managed to drag the smaller worm-like monster within the atrium before thunder began rolling. Now the crowd is pressing against us towards the beast, marvelling at such a big catch.

"We had a bigger one," I hear Kusanagi tell someone, shooting Syaoran an impressed glance, "but it was so big we couldn't drag it back with just the six of us." Then he looks up to the sky, critically. "And with that rain, it's no use. It'll be mostly gone by the time we get it inside." People press their hands against it, closing their eyes in bliss like they can already taste the food in their mouths. Small children have begun climbing over the smoother part of its body, trying to see who can get the highest without sliding down in a tumbling mess. With a small laugh I catch one that has bumped into my leg, handing him over to his mother standing nearby. I recognize him; he was part of the group of eager children to whom I told fairytales last night. He seems to recognize me too, because he lets out a joyful cry when I pick him up. He starts playing with my barrette, his eyes intense with childish curiosity, but his mother neatly snatches him from my arms, offering me only a wary glare as thanks. I soon loose her in the crowd. I sigh, discouraged, and I feel Fai brush my arm reassuringly.

I look up to the mage. He's smiling down at me like he usually does, but his eyes are weary. I can't get him alone now and I know it, but I will eventually. And he will tell me what he knows. But for now, I smile back. I don't really want to stay mad at him. I don't want to push him so hard that he'll break. But I don't want Syaoran to break, either.

"Welcome back!" It's Kazuki, running eagerly towards us through the already thinning crowd. He stumbles when he approaches us, and Nataku expertly scoops him up before he can hit the ground.

"If you don't pay attention you're going to fall again," he scolds. Kazuki doesn't seem to care; his smile reaches to his ears.

"Welcome back to you too, Mokona," he continues joyfully, turning to the fur-ball on Fai's shoulder. Almost immediately his expression melts into one of shock, and his jaw drops. "Whaaaat?" he exclaims. Nearly at the same time, I hear the cry that has become so familiar:

"Mekkyo!" As one, Fai, Syaoran and I turn to Mokona with wide eyes. "The feather! I just felt it!" the fur-ball exclaims hurriedly, like he's afraid the feeling will fade away like last time. "From underground!" There's an instant of silence, as the whole world seems to hold its breath.

"Where's the way down to the basement?" Syaoran yells suddenly, looking around frantically for someone to give him the answer. My body tenses as I prepare to run. Unconsciously, we all know that we must hurry if we want to get it. Before the signal disappears again, for any reason that it might be, before the feather becomes unreachable…

"No." Satsuki steps forward from the shadows, raising her arm beside her to block our path to the east side of the building. I'm already preparing to dash in that direction. If need be, I can follow the water's trace to the basement. Satsuki looks up to us, seeming almost pained. "No one is allowed in the basement without clearance," she says, visibly trying to sound calm.

"There's something I'm looking for down there!" Syaoran exclaims, almost pleading.

"There's nothing but water down there!" Satsuki replies, irked by his sincere tone.

"It's there!" Mokona cries. "Underground!" Syaoran grows more urgent.

"Please!" he yells. "I'm begging you! Please tell me!" Everyone is looking at us now; from the crowd sending us bewildered glances to Nataku, Yuuto and Kusanagi who don't seem sure what to think. I understand that they're protective of their water, but come on…

"We won't touch the water," I promise, tension breaking through my voice. If we loose the signal again, we don't know when it'll reappear. "I swear, we won't take any of it! How could we?" I can feel it under us, each wave lapping like it was at my feet, and I know that I'm right: we have no way of taking this water from them. All we need is to get down there. We need an ally in this sea of faces.

My gaze hooks on to Nataku's, and I look at him. _I saved your life._ _You owe me a favour,_ I try to say silently. His distrust slowly melts to make way for confusion. He looks down for a moment and I feel my hopes thinning. He's a bastard. Then he looks back up. His eyes are determined.

"I'll go with them," he says, putting Kazuki down. "I'll make sure they won't touch the water." My heart leaps with relief. Kusanagi steps forward.

"I'll go too," he offers. Yuuto nods.

"If there's three of us to watch them, nothing will happen," he says, looking at Satsuki. The girl bites her lip. For a moment I think that she'll still refuse to let us pass but slowly, deliberately, she lowers her arm.

"If anything happens…" she warns, but we don't leave her the time to finish. Syaoran and I are already dashing through the passageways, with me sniffing the way to the basement like a dog on a hot trail.

"Thank you!" I hear Syaoran call, and Fai's footsteps are behind me, as well as a few others. I slow down my pace, thinking about Syaoran's injured leg, but he doesn't seem to be slowing down at all. We run side by side through the corridor until I feel the water disappear behind us. Grabbing Syaoran's arm, I force him to swerve back, nearly causing us to collide into Nataku and Kusanagi. The later laughs, redirecting us to a side door.

"Seems like that water sensing thing of yours really does work," he comments, looking at me. I nod without a word, then rush after Syaoran into the large staircase gaping in front of us. I take a deep gulp of air before diving in, my feet slamming evenly against the stone as each steps brings me deeper in the earth's entrails. It doesn't take long for the weight to crush my chest from every direction, but I force myself not to stop. We don't have much time, and I won't be the reason we don't make it to the feather.

But soon Syaoran has a comfortable lead, and Nataku is passing me as well. I steady my breathing, letting my hand brush against the wall to reassure me. Things are not more dangerous because they're underground…

We run past the guards without missing a beat, Nataku and Kusanagi's presence reassuring them. I hear Yuuto stop to explain the reason for our rush before we go down yet another flight of stairs. This one hugs the wall of a huge underground room, so big that I can't quite make out the far end of it. The height of the ceiling makes the weight in my chest heavier, thinking about how deep we must be. And resting inside this room, below us…

The water. I can hear its rhythmical pulse no longer just under my feet, but all around me now. In its centre I feel that steady ring I have come to associate with Sakura's feathers, shining its light through the water. Further on the staircase meets another one, coming from the opposite direction, and they curve towards the centre of the room, forming a smooth platform above the waves. I half-expected to see Kamui here, after hearing about his determination to protect the underground lake, but there's no trace of him anywhere.

Syaoran reaches the platform before me and I can see him stand there, panting, as his eyes fly across the room in search for the place where the feather might be hiding. I turn around to see if Mokona may have any more directions for us, when unexpectedly, the feather's power explodes, then disappears again. It's so sudden that I find myself stumbling over the last steps, taken aback by the emptiness in the air. Instead of searching for Mokona, my eyes find Fai. His blue eyes are frowning, but he encourages me forward. There's another kind of emptiness around us, but this one isn't coming from the water: it seems to have disappeared from the vicinity of the Government building, like a subtle dome I hadn't noticed before because the pull of the water was so strong.

"It's gone! The feather!" Mokona cries, distraught. Syaoran jumps at those words.

"But it's here!" he yells nervously. I shake my head.

"It was in the water," I say, "but now it's gone." The boy's eyes light up at those words.

"It must be still in there," he says, gazing at the surface. "Or at least some clue to where it's gone. We still have to go look!"

"Syaoran, wait!" I call just before the boy leaps into the lake. He stops to look at me, his eyes wide. I look down apprehensively to the surface of the water, and can't help a nervous twitch from shaking my mouth as I contemplate jumping in. My breath is already short, but it's not because of the run. "I can't…" I say, shaking my head, "if I jump in, I'll…" I'll drown. I'll panic. Just the thought of being down there, suffocating and unable to relax my muscles enough to allow them to guide me back to the surface, is enough to make me shake uncontrollably.

Syaoran's hand on my arm brings my gaze back up. His smile is strong and reassuring. "It's alright," he says. I bite my lip. We still don't know what's down there, if it's dangerous… "I'll be fine," he assures me. I smile feebly.

"You'll be careful, right? With whatever's down there?" I know I should go after him, but I can't. I'm already underground, and I feel like the weight in my chest will drag me down if I lose my footing.

He smiles. "Of course," he says. I feel a hand on my elbow.

"We'll be right here when you come back," Fai says. I look up to him. He's smiling reassuringly. Syaoran bows his head, turning to the water.

"Thank you," he says, then leaps. Water surges on the point of contact, exploding all around us like fireworks. I find myself lunging after him, but stop myself when I scan the deep. I can't do this. Nervously, my eyes follow Syaoran's form until I lose sight of him.

Fai's hand draws a warm pressure on my elbow. "It's okay to have weaknesses," he says softly, so that Nataku or Kusanagi can't hear. I shake my head.

"Not like this one," I mutter back. After all, why am I afraid of water? Not because I can't swim, like I thought at first. Just because I can't trust it, for no reason. That's when I realize the true reason for my unease. I don't trust water. And I've let it take Syaoran.

"You better be careful, or else I swear…" I whisper, then pry my eyes away from the water. Yuuto has joined us, as well as Kazuki and Satsuki, the later staring at the point where Syaoran disappeared and frowning.

"He's not in there to do anything to the water, Satsuki," Kusanagi sighs, passing a hand through his hair. "He's just looking for something. After that, he'll come right back up." I nod. He'll come right back up with the feather, and then we'll go see Kurogane and Sakura and give it back to the princess, and we'll be on our way. Or in a few seconds we'll see him shoot up, panting, the feather gone or out of reach, and we'll keep searching for it.

My eyes catch Nataku's, and I bow my head thankfully. For a moment I thought we would have to fight them to get down here. He looks away, but Kazuki grabs his hand and pulls, looking up to him with curious eyes.

"You can at least say 'no problem'," he says with seriousness, ripping a smile from my lips. Nataku's jaw tightens, like he's trying hard to keep any emotion from his face. Beside me, his hand still radiating warmth from the crook of my arm, Fai chuckles.

"So the truth always comes from the mouth of children, isn't that right, Raki-chan?" he says, smiling joyfully, but I notice that his eyes keep darting nervously towards the water. I follow his gaze, but we can't see any sign of Syaoran. My hands clench into fists.

"How long do you think he can hold his breath?" I ask in a whisper, looking up to the mage. He smiles unconvincingly.

"I wouldn't worry about that. Many people can hold their breath for ages," he shrugs, trying to sound as though he's not worried. But I know better. The image of Syaoran's body floating between bottom and surface, motionless, forces itself into my mind. Suddenly the weight of the earth above us seems to double. I bite my lip.

There's a bubbling sound behind us, and when I turn around to see where it comes from, my heart freezes. A cloud of crimson is surging up towards the surface, growing with every passing second.

Blood.

Syaoran…

"There's blood!" I faintly hear Yuuto scream. It's like a veil has fallen between me and the world. All that is left is the sound of my pounding heart and the water, red with blood, mocking me. _You shouldn't have let him go in alone. You should have gone in with him. Selfish, weak. You couldn't face your fears to save him._ A wail escapes my lips.

It's Fai's hand which brings me back to reality, clutching my arm so hard that the pain shoots up to my shoulder blade. I realise that I'm holding on to him as well, my knuckles white from gripping his cloak.

"Is Syaoran… okay?" Mokona finally asks, feebly. His voice rings like a tiny bell in the immensity of the room, so frail and useless. Because Syaoran isn't okay. There is no doubt coming from the water's voice. This is his blood.

I look up to Fai. His breath is short, his eyes staring at the water with apprehension. His face has gone white.

"Syaoran-kun," he whispers, like an incantation that could bring him back up to us. But nothing is coming up but all this blood - horrible, horrible blood. I've nearly stopped breathing. I know we should be doing something, but it's like my mind has shut off. I can't think of anything but that Syaoran is hurt, somewhere in that deep water, choking, trying to call for help…

Almost immediately, after the eternity that lasted only seconds, something twitches in the fabric of the world. So small that I wouldn't have noticed it any other time, but now it reverberates in my mind like a warning. Fai senses it too; his fingers twitch against my arm and he pulls back, ever so slightly, like he wants to run away. But his grip on my elbow doesn't falter.

"Fai…?" I ask, turning to him. "What was that…?" The look on the mage's face stops me: his eyes are fiery and determined, his cheeks flushed, and he's biting his lip so hard that it's turned white. He barely turns his head as he speaks:

"She can't swim. Don't let her in." Then, in one fluid motion, he grabs Mokona on his shoulder and throws him towards Kazuki, squeezes my elbow one last time and leaps.

"Fai?" I yell, dashing after him, but Kusanagi's grip around my elbow forces me back. I struggle at the warmth on my arm that doesn't belong there, staring at the ripples that swallowed Fai. "Let me go! Goddamnit!"

"Sorry, little girl," Kusanagi says gruffly, grunting as my foot connects with his knee, "but I won't be jumping in after you to pull you out." He pulls me into a bear hug, wrapping his arms around my body to keep me from squirming. "He's coming out, okay?" I look down at the water, but there's no trace of him. I groan. Why did he jump? He knew it was dangerous, he saw the blood, he…

He knows I can swim. He lied. He lied to keep me out of the water.

Oh God.

He wouldn't have done that if he didn't know for a fact that it would be dangerous down there. He knows better than to shield me against my will. Which means that he doesn't even care about my reaction. That he's beyond caring about my reaction.

That he's actually fearing for his life if he goes down there.

"Fai!" I scream, pounding against Kusanagi's arms, but he's still stronger than me. "Let me go! I can swim! He's a liar! He's nothing but a big, fat, idiot liar! I can goddamn swim!" But he doesn't believe me.

"Listen, I won't let you drown yourself," he says. I stomp on his foot in reply.

I don't care that I'm scared of water. Water has already swallowed Syaoran and Fai, and I won't let it take them any further away from me.

"Aisha…" Mokona's voice stops me. It's so small and scared. "Aisha… will Fai and Syaoran be okay?" Kusanagi's arms relax as I stop struggling to look at the fur-ball. Tears are glistening at the corner of his eyes. His small body is trembling pitifully, and for a moment all I want to do is hold him in my arms and comfort him with all my might. And I'm grateful for Kazuki's hands holding him close to his heart. Because I have to dive in there and leave Mokona alone.

I'm about to answer his question when something else changes. Under the water, something has broken, unleashing a surge of power. The water bubbles up, fights against it, roars like an angry sea. And amidst all this, I can feel Syaoran's imprint.

_Syaoran?_

But Syaoran doesn't have any magic powers…

I buck against Kusanagi, fighting to jump into the water. Too many things happening, and Syaoran injured, Fai scared enough to keep me away… I have to get down there. Protect them.

I drop to the ground, dragging Kusanagi off balance for a second, just long enough to twist my upper body until I can elbow him in the stomach. He bends over with a grunt and I push away his arms, running to the edge of the platform before he can catch me again. Mokona yells out my name, faintly. I barely hesitate before diving into the depths; Syaoran and Fai need my help.

An explosion of diamond shards as I hit the water, a stinging pain on my chest from the hard waves, the disorienting sensation of not knowing up from down. The panic as I realize that I can't breathe. The soothing call of water all around me. But, overpowering it all, my determination to find them. I open my eyes.

There's a web of ramps running through the entire lake, brown and earthy-looking. They all converge into a luminous sphere in the center of the lake, where the magic pull is the strongest. Fai's presence is coming from there as well. Only the faintest trace of Syaoran's presence. I can see three silhouettes swimming around the sphere. Who's the third? My heart pounding, I force my muscles to move together and pull me towards the source of it all. Hands first, in a circle, then kick. Again. Just like that. My movements are unbearably slow and sluggish in all this water.

I feel the current change before it pushes me away, forming a raging maelstrom in the centre of the lake. I can feel the water twirl, stretch, shape itself until it is no longer detained by its basin. Instead I feel it like a tower, building itself around me. There's a power similar to Mokona's transportation spell, but with a hint of different power, appearing at its base. Something's coming, and it's making place for its arrival. I have to struggle against the current to keep advancing towards the others. Now the air sizzles with magic, so much that I can't concentrate on anything. I strain to recognize anything familiar in the surge of powers that swirl around me; when I finally manage to hook onto one, my breath catches in my throat.

As unique and distinctive as the smell of lilacs.

"_Even if you're going to die, you still won't use magic?"_

"_No."_

Fai…

"_Would you break a promise you made to someone you cared about, if it meant protecting someone you cared about even more?"_

"Fai!" My cry seems to resonate through the depths of the underground reservoir, although all I've managed to do is swallow water. If Fai's using magic, then Syaoran's in danger. It's the only reason he would break his promise.

I can't find Syaoran anywhere. It's the first thing I notice when Fai's shield breaks. My heart pounding against my chest, I grab on to a ramp and pull myself towards the center, against the current that seems to want to suck me in the opposite direction. I have to get to them.

In the center of the maelstrom, there is no water anymore. Through the blurry current, I can see Fai's silhouette on one of the ramps, crouching down as though to pick up something. Whatever he now holds in his hand, it pulses like a steady heartbeat. There's a dark form crouched next to the sphere and another between it and Fai, stepping slowly towards the mage. Fai stands up, towering over this new person. I squint, trying to find Syaoran. I can't feel him anywhere, and the features of the three people in front of me are too blurred to make out. I recognize Fai by his presence, but who are the other two? Nobody entered the water since we came here, I'm sure of that, and I could have sworn I only saw three people around the sphere, including Syaoran. But the boy is still unreachable. I search for a body floating in the water, my heart clenching. But there's no trace of that either.

Suddenly, so fast that I wonder for a second if I dreamt it, the third silhouette kicks Fai squarely in the face. I cry out, choke on the water. Not only because Fai is hurt, but because I recognized the attack, so familiar: Syaoran. But why would Syaoran hit Fai, and why can't I sense his presence?

Only one answer makes its way through my overwhelmed mind; the image of brown eyes, frozen over like ponds in winter…

My lungs are burning, and it's getting harder to concentrate on swimming. I finally get to the center of the lake and try to pierce the tube of water that holds us apart, but the current pushes me back as surely as if I had hit a brick wall. Disoriented, I try to find the surface. I can't breathe. I need air. I start to panic, what I promised myself I wouldn't do. I have to get back to Fai, find out what's going on. But I've been pushed out too far to hope reaching them again without breathing. And the current is still carrying me away from them.

I try to fight it, but the current is stronger; I am thrown out the side of the maelstrom, coughing and sputtering. I land with a grunt, painfully scrapping my legs on the stone. I look up, see the tower of water looming above me. Then I remember to breathe.

The first gulp of air burns as it travels down my throat. I'm choking. I have to find a way to dive back in there, help Fai. But the water's too far from the edge now, I can't hope to jump to it. It's only because of the strength of the current that I managed to reach the platform in the first place.

"Are you alright?" Mokona's cry makes me turn my head. I don't have time to answer before a strong hand grabs my arm and forces me up. I'm shaking, my legs barely strong enough to hold me upright after fighting against the current. I look up to find Kurogane frowning down at me.

"What's going on in there?" he asks urgently, and I hear alarm piercing through his voice. I shake my head, fighting for breath. How can I explain it all?

The ninja is gazing with growing dread the column of water in front of us. "What's going on?" he asks again. I don't look at all the others gathered around us. I cough out a mouthful of water, suddenly able to speak again.

"Fai and Syaoran-kun… Syaoran…" I start, but then stumble and feel myself turn white. Something's happened. Fai… his magic…

It's like Fai's magic has split in two. Like there's a hand ripping my soul, pulling something out of my heart, tearing away at my guts. I think I'm going to be sick.

Fai…

Just then, the tower in front of us grows menacingly, threatening to explode.

"Watch out!" I warn, bracing myself. Kurogane does the same.

"Get back!" he yells, pulling me behind him. I'm too tired to resist.

There's the roar of water as it passes us, splashing us from every side – Kurogane's arm holding me securely in his back as I fight the urge to vomit. It lasts only a second, and then Kurogane lets go of my arm. I rush around him to see. The reservoir has been completely emptied. The last remnants of the water float around us, in droplets.

My heart stops. Standing on one of the brown ramps, amidst the droplets of water suspended in the air, there is Syaoran. His shirt is reduced to rags and his arms are bloody. But it's his eyes…

One blue and one brown. Devoid of emotion. Completely frozen over.

And if I look down…

What started out as a thought turns into a heart-wrenching cry, filling the underground room.

"FAI!"


	40. Hear our Prayer

**Oh, God. This has taken forever and I'm sorry, so sorry…! I really tried to make this a fast one, but my life has decided to become hectic and make this absolutely impossible. Once again, I hope it's an okay one.**

**There's nothing really to say about this, except for one thing which one review in particular made me aware of… this and all following chapters contain spoilers! Do not read if you haven't read the manga or seen the OVA to this point yet, because trust me, you will not understand much. The actual thing is confusing enough without adding a first-person viewpoint and emotional turmoil. (Which makes me think, yes, the first part of this chapter is very confusing. Please bear in mind the confusion of the chapters it is based on. I'm sorry about that.) Well, for something there was nothing to say about… :P**

**Enjoy!**

**XxX**

A thousand knives pierce through my skin. It hurts, someplace I didn't even know existed, buried deep within my chest. Hurts so much I can barely breathe. There is nothing but Fai, lying on the ground like a broken doll, covered in blood. The boy who used to be Syaoran still holds the mage's collar, propping him up halfway in a grotesque position; his shoulders lifted, twisted, above his arms, his head lolling against the ground. He barely looks like Fai. I could almost make myself believe that it's not him, that it's a stranger, because knowing who it is is just too painful. Still, I can't look away.

Syaoran's hand over his mouth, his jaw twitching rhythmically, like he's chewing on something. The river of blood flowing freely from Fai's left eye socket. Syaoran's right eye, now a blue deeper than the sky. The sickening realization of what has happened. The denial of what is obvious, because it's just too much. Oh God…

Syaoran ate Fai's eye.

Looking eerily at me and Kurogane, still frozen in shock, the boy deliberately lifts Fai's body off the ground. The mage's limbs fall clumsily around him, like a puppet without strings. His gaze still trained on us, as though he's waiting for a reaction, Syaoran reaches towards Fai's face. His fingers brush against the man's right eye.

As though we were both suddenly jolted to life, Kurogane and I animate.

Without thinking, I leap into the pit before me. "Back off!" I scream, my voice surprisingly strong. Despite my shock, there's no time for hesitation; I have to get Syaoran away from Fai. Now.

"Stop it!" Kurogane yells, landing beside me. Without looking at each other, I take the arm holding Fai up; he grabs Syaoran's other wrist. I manage to clumsily cradle Fai's head in the crook of my arm, sustaining a bit of his weight. Now only inches from the wizard, what I see wrings my heart. His normally pale skin is now nearly translucent; his features are contorted in pain, and the crimson flow from his eye like tears of blood… Thankfully, he's still breathing, shallow but steady. I can feel his presence beating like a heart, but barely. My fingers grip harder against Syaoran's wrist. My eyes are burning. Now he's gone too far.

"You ate it, didn't you?" Kurogane says gruffly, looking straight at Syaoran. "His eye." Slowly, the boy looks up from Fai's face to look at me. The callous iciness of his eyes still make me gasp. There is nothing left of Syaoran in him. Then he turns to Kurogane with the same calm, remorseless gaze. And kicks him directly in the stomach.

I cry out as the ninja winces in pain and bends over. His breath comes out raspy and rough.

"Kuro-sama!" I let Fai go to grab Syaoran's other arm, looking down anxiously at Kurogane. I'm now in front of the boy, ready to step between him and either men if he so much as twitches in their directions. Behind him, crouched close to the sphere, I see Kamui. I don't have the time to wonder what he's doing there; I send him a pleading glance for help, but he looks away. I bite my lip.

"Syaoran," I say, hoping that the boy might hear his name and wake up, like he did before. That he might remember me somehow. But his eyes don't change. "Syaoran, please! Wake up! Look at me!" My voice breaks. He does look at me, slowly turning his head until he is gazing directly into my eyes. I suddenly feel very small, although I tower above the boy by a few inches. The way he's looking at me, it's although he's serenely debating whether or not to rip my heart out.

If it were anybody but Syaoran, I would know exactly what to do. I would hurt him, so badly his own father wouldn't recognize him. He would pay for what he's done to Fai. If he were anybody but Syaoran…

I know I should be doing something. He ripped out Fai's eye and ate it, he attacked Kurogane. And yet I can't hit him. Because he's not Syaoran, and yet… if I don't look in his eyes he still looks the same. The same Syaoran I saw jumping into the water only minutes ago. I still hold on to the hope that he'll come back the same way he's done before. But for now, I just don't know what to do.

"I'll eat the right one too," he says calmly, looking from me to Kurogane as though stating an indisputable fact. I dig my nails in his arms. I won't let him.

"Let him go," I say, once again my voice much stronger than I feel. Kurogane looks up, his crimson eyes alight with fury. Syaoran stays silent.

"The source of the magic is in both blue eyes," he finally says. "After I take both, he won't be able to use it." I can feel my face go white. So this is what it was. Fai's magic ripping in two… that was him as well, and he did this knowingly. So much more horrible than just inflicting physical injury; he had to rip his soul apart, too. It's like someone has punched me in the guts, and I stumble backwards. It is not Syaoran. Has never been Syaoran. Can't have been.

"Why…?" I whisper, in shock. Kurogane stands up, towering over the boy. His eyes throw daggers.

"Hand him over," he orders in a tone so threatening that anyone else would have obeyed immediately. This boy just stares at him, and then lowers his head until it is close to Fai. Brings his mouth near the mage's right eye. Bears his teeth.

"No!" I scream, slapping his face away violently. My nails leave thin, pink lines on his cheek. For a second I stare at my hand in disbelief. I've just hit Syaoran, the boy I have sworn to myself I would protect. I look up just in time to feel his hand clasping on my throat. Before his fingers can dig into my skin, Kurogane's hand shoots forward and grabs the boy's collar. He flings Syaoran to the side violently; the boy's grip on my throat pulls me after him. He lets go and I roll on the ground a few feet away, gasping and clutching my neck. More painful than the strain on my neck, the sudden realization that Syaoran was going to choke me.

The boy continues until he crashes into a vertical ramp, and from where I am I can hear the sickening snap as his right arm falls under his body. I can't help a hiss of pain when I see the deep purple bruise just under his elbow, where the limb curves at a strange angle. We both stand up at the same time, facing each other. His facial expression is still blank, and he doesn't seem to notice the ugly fracture on his arm. It's like he can't feel any pain. Not physical or – I look back to Fai, whom Kurogane is now lifting from the ground, bring my hand to my neck – even emotional pain. My eyes go back to rest on Syaoran.

"Stay away from him," I snarl, unlatching my whip. This boy may have been Syaoran, but he isn't anymore. Until Syaoran comes back, this boy is the enemy. If he does anything to hurt Fai more than he already is, he's going to pay. If I have to choose between Fai and a boy I don't know anymore, I will choose the wizard without hesitation. But knowing what my answer will be doesn't make it any easier if I have to give it.

The boy doesn't react; he only stares at me with those blank eyes. Watching for a reaction, I turn my back to him and start running for Fai, but he doesn't move. I don't let myself be reassured by this: if this boy has a fraction of the real Syaoran's determination, then he hasn't given up. I just take this chance he has given me. I throw myself to my knees next to Fai, gently taking his upper body from Kurogane. The mage looks even worst than he did a minute ago, and I can feel his strength dwindling. He's still fighting, but he won't last long. I want to cry: all of this is my fault. It was my job to protect both of them, and I failed.

"Can you do anything?" the ninja asks. I look to him for a second, trying not to show my worry. But Kurogane's fingers grip against mine for barely a moment, and I can see it in his eyes: he's just as confused and upset as I am, although he's much better at hiding it. I bite my lip, looking down to Fai. I hold him tightly against me with one arm, placing my other hand tenderly on the place his left eye used to be. It doesn't take long before my fingers are slick and read with blood.

"I will get the feathers, no matter what," I hear Syaoran mutter before I can do anything else. He holds out two fingers and I feel Fai's magic pour out of him at the same time as a circle of blue runes forms around him.

"Watch out!" I cry as strong winds pick up, twirling around Syaoran to gain speed before diving on us. I clutch Fai closer to me, shielding him with my body. Kurogane suddenly pulls me towards him, enfolding us both in his arms. Pressed against his chest, I muffle a scream as it seems like the world is exploding around us. Debris fly and cut at my lower back and legs, the only places not protected by Kurogane's body. When the noise finally dies down, the ninja waits a few seconds before releasing me.

"So you ate his magic too, did you?" he yells for Syaoran, who is now only a short distance from us. Much too close for me. I glance at Fai to make sure no other serious injury has joined the first one, but there only seems to be scratches. My eyes turn next to Kurogane, and they widen.

"Your back!" I exclaim, reaching for the bloody mess of ripped flesh I can see through what's left of his shirt. The ninja grunts, pushing my hand away.

"Him first," he says, pointing at Fai. And I understand that he assumes I'll be able to heal him. That he's counting on me to make it happen. And that, quite frankly, I was counting on it too.

Doubt grips at my chest. What if I can't do it? What if Fai…?

Oh God, no. That's not even an option.

"You take one more step and I hit you!" I bark at Syaoran, who has stepped even closer to us while we were evaluating the damage. He stares at me eerily.

"In order to get all the feathers, I have to take everything I might need," he says in that same atone, cool voice, turning his gaze to Kurogane, and then back to me. "And eliminate everything that interferes." His last words ring like a warning in the air around us, heavy with promise. My hands tighten on Fai's body. Because that boy's the one who did this to him in the first place. We trusted him – Fai trusted him – and now the mage is laying unconscious on the ground, covered in blood and his breathing more laboured by the second, half of his magic gone. Raw fury mounts in my chest. It's like he just said; he'll have to kill anything who interferes if he wants to get to Fai. And I will be the biggest freakin' interference he's ever had to face.

Beside me Kurogane begins to stand up, his rage just as palpable as mine. "This guy…" he starts, and then his voice turns into a scream, "he changed, for you and the princess. So you could smile just a little!" There's a moment of silence, where the boy who isn't Syaoran frowns slightly, like he's trying to remember something. But his expression quickly reverts to its strange blankness.

I feel like I'm going to cry. I feel Fai's weak pulse against my arm and think of everything he's done for us. For me. Always the first to give away something to help others, the first to smile and try to convince you that things will be okay even if you both know they won't be. He broke the promise he made to that person he cares so much about, to protect us. He refused my help to protect me, and didn't fight back against Syaoran; I saw it. And now he's just reached the limit of what he could give.

I can tell Kurogane can't stand it anymore. To have this boy in front of us, so similar to Syaoran, and yet who hurt Fai and threatened us and now bears Fai's magic like a trophy, and no matter how hard we try to reach him the real Syaoran's just not coming back, it's too much.

"Do you hear me, kid?" the ninja yells. There's no answer of any kind. No flash of recognition behind the boy's eyes, no gasp of horror as he realizes what he's done. No sign that Syaoran has ever inhabited that body. I can feel Kurogane's body beside me tense, his hands balling into fists, his rage and frustration pouring out of him like the blood from Fai's body. And I know that the kid would already be dead if he didn't look so much like Syaoran.

Suddenly, the air around us shifts, and I feel a portal open to another world. Right below us, what is left of water bubbles and churns and a magic circle appears, identical to Mokona's. I frown. That witch is sending us somebody? A human form shoots out, still half-formed in thin volutes, before settling on the ramp, between us and the boy. He's facing away from us, but even from behind I can see the resemblance. My eyes widen and I gasp. The one standing between us and the boy who used to be Syaoran is…

Syaoran.

The flaps of his robe dancing around his feet in the circular wind he has conjured to travel here, the strangely angled bandana that seems to cover his left eye are different, but the brown scruffy hair and determined stance of his body are the same. And if he turned around, I'm sure his visible eye would a warm chestnut brown, like Syaoran's used to be.

I look to Kurogane, and the ninja looks back at me. What's going on? I knew you could have look-alikes in other worlds, but the chances of one of Syaoran's other selves barging in here at this precise moment, sent by the witch no less… what is she trying to do?

"Everyone!" The cry makes me turn back, towards the luminous sphere in the center of the basin. What I see there rips an exclamation from my lips.

"Sakura?" The princess is floating inside the sphere, pressing her palms against its surface like she's trying to break out. Her eyes are wide open, searching each of our faces in turn for something, I don't know what. When she sees that boy, she stops, stricken with horror. "What is she doing there?" I ask a stunned Kurogane, who shakes his head, confused. "How did she get…? What's going on?" I wail, at the limit of what I can take. There's just too many things happening, and nothing makes any sense.

In front of us, the boy's chest begins to glow. I watch with growing confusion as something slowly escapes from Syaoran's body while the boy doesn't even seem to notice it. But it's the recognition that really perplexes me; the steady heartbeat of the glowing orb floating away from Syaoran's chest is the same thing I saw Fai pick up while the maelstrom was raging around him, the same thing he held when Syaoran attacked him. Almost determinedly, it floats to the other boy, the one who just appeared. He takes it ceremoniously.

"The half of my heart that I gave you long ago," I hear him say softly. The resemblance of his voice is so complete that it takes me a moment to understand the words. And when I do, I wish I couldn't understand them. Because what he says is so strange it barely makes sense, and yet it does. It makes brutal, painful sense to whoever is really listening. "When it broke, that magician tried to give it back to you, together with that stolen right eye," he continues, addressing the boy who used to be our Syaoran. Beside me, Kurogane gasps, looks down at Fai. I clutch the mage closer. "But once the seal has disappeared, it cannot be returned by any method," the boy goes on softly, as though he knows we are listening and doesn't want to startle us too much. The light slowly penetrates him in waves, like Sakura's feathers do. I watch it disappear with a sense of finality, my entire body revolting against what this boy is saying. This is Syaoran's heart. And it's leaving him. Because it didn't even belong to him in the first place. "The magician must have known that, yet he risked it all anyways. Most likely," the other Syaoran concludes, pulling off his bandana. Now I know it must have served as an eye patch. Sakura screams even louder through the sphere, pounding frantically at its surface.

I look down to Fai, shaking. His strength is almost gone, his breathing only a raspy, rhythmical sound. He did this, put himself in danger knowing that what he was doing wasn't going to work. He ended up sacrificing so much to save Syaoran, a boy who wasn't real…

What am I saying? Of course he was real. He was Syaoran, our Syaoran, and nothing will ever change that. It doesn't matter if his heart wasn't his own. It became his own. To him, to us, to Sakura, it was the real thing.

I feel a tear roll down my cheek as the meaning of all of this hits me. Oh God, no. Syaoran has to come back. He can't be lost forever. Not after Fai gave so much to keep him here with us. We can't lose him just like that, stupidly. If we do, it's too unfair.

I look down to Fai again. I can't loose both him and Syaoran. I can't.

I bring my hand to rest once more on the empty socket of his left eye. I will the tiny droplets of silver light to appear around my fingers. I look at Fai's face, his skin so pale, his features frozen in pain, and I want to heal him even more, no matter was it takes. The feeling overflowing in my chest is unlike anything I've ever felt before, as powerful as it is painful. I want to heal him. I want Fai to wake up and be okay and talk to me again. I want to see the blue of his eyes in the face where they belong, not as a stolen token in someone else's iris. I won't let myself lose him. Fai has given me so much, and I will give him my everything.

"I've always been watching through your right eye," I can hear the other Syaoran saying, as though from far away. "All the things you've done, and the people you've met." I feel the magic swirling around me but not within me, like it should be. My hands remain just like hands, despite all my efforts, and I begin to panic. Sakura's heavy pounding resonates like a heartbeat in my ears. I can feel Fai's life force leaving him, slowly but surely, as his strength declines. My hand slips on the blood. Too much blood lost, too much magic lost; he doesn't have enough. If this goes on, he'll…

No, don't say it. Don't even think it. I won't let it happen.

"The fact that you consider Sakura the most precious thing to you doesn't come from my heart!" the other Syaoran continues, but he's so far away. Everything is so far away. I push against the seal with all of my might, focusing solely on the purpose of healing Fai. Whatever it takes. "It's from you!" the other Syaoran yells. The boy kicks him in the stomach.

My hands start shaking from the effort, and I panic. Nothing's happening. Fai's life force is dwindling, slowly leaving him, and I can't make anything happen.

"Come on," I mutter, biting my lip. "Don't do this to me, not now…" Fai has to wake up. He has to. But no matter how much I push against the seal it refuses to break. "Why do you have to work now…?" I wail. _Sometimes, you just don't have access to enough power to act. _Fai's words haunt me; I refuse to accept that. But, of all the times this thing decides to do its job, it has to be now. I push away tears of despair as I realize that I can't heal him. No, there has to be a way. I can't stop trying.

"Goddamnit!" I yell, tears streaming down my face. "Fai, you have to wake up! Do you hear me? Don't do this!" I fail to stop a sob from shaking my body. This unknown feeling is about to drown me; I'm going to burst. Fai has to be okay. I can't lose him too.

"Kid…" I hear Kurogane call out softly and look up distractedly, still focusing on healing the mage. The ninja's gaze is locked on the other Syaoran, and a dangerous flash of crimson passes through his eyes. I follow his eyes.

The other Syaoran has retaliated to the boy's attack, and now both of them are engaged in a fierce battle. The boy's broken arm flings awkwardly, puppet-like, around him as he strikes. The ninja tenses beside me. I try to see what could put Kurogane in such a state when my eyes fall on the crest printed on the other Syaoran's robe. It's red and black, bearing a distant resemblance to a bat. I frown. It seems vaguely familiar, like something I've seen before, in a memory…

A memory. I remember just a second too late to stop Kurogane.

"My sword!" he roars, standing. My concentration snaps completely away from Fai. My eyes move frantically from the ninja to this new boy we've never seen before. A boy who is now fighting the one who used to be Syaoran. A boy who is wearing the crest of the one who killed Kurogane's mother.

"Eh?" I hear Mokona's voice ring, weak, from the platform.

"Kuro-sama!" I plead, clutching Fai's body closer. I don't understand what's happening here, but we don't know who this boy really is. For all we know…

"Give me my sword!" the ninja hollers again, turning to the fur-ball with impatience, completely ignoring me.

"O…okay!" Mokona answers, quickly opening his mouth to release the weapon. I reach for Kurogane's hand.

"Kuro-sama, please," I say. The truth is, I don't want him to leave me alone here with Fai. I'm lost and confused and I don't know what to do anymore. The ninja looks down to me, but his expression says it all: he's waited years for this, and not even I will keep him away from this fight.

I feel a new magic activate behind us, and turn to see blue runes twirling around the boy's arm, calling Mokona's wind towards him.

Mokona's voice cries out. "Syaoran's sword!" I turn just in time to see Hien shoot out of Mokona's mouth and fly to the boy's hand, surrounded by blue runes. The boy catches it. I suck in a sharp breath, echoed by Kurogane. This can't be good. He's already redoubtable without a weapon; now that he's got Hien he'll be nearly unstoppable.

"I thought I was bringing out Kurogane's sword, but Syaoran used magic and made me pull out Hien instead!" Mokona cries nervously. I don't take my eyes off the boy. Now he's leaned the sword against his neck to pull it out of the sheath. As he does so, red flames begin to dance around the blade, joined by the blue runes. Before anyone can react he swings Hien in a large arc, creating a veritable inferno in the water's former basin. The world disappears from my view in a river of fire. I hiss as the flames bite at my skin, stepping over to protect Fai. Although I know Kurogane is right next to me, I can't see him. The flames are so bright and hot I can feel my wet cheeks dry almost instantly.

"Sakura! Kurogane!" I hear Mokona yell as the first ominous cracking sounds reach my ears. I look around to find the origin of the noise, but the fire and smoke blind me. "Fai! Aisha! Syaoran!" In a thunderous crash, I feel the ground below me disappear. The hot air from the inferno rushes against my skin as I fall. I barely have the time to roll into a ball around Fai and let a scream escape my lips before hitting the ground.

My scream dies abruptly as the air is forced out of me. Panting, I close my eyes and let my head fall back. I feel like I've broken every bone in my body, and I can barely breathe. With a groan I unwrap my limbs from Fai's body, letting them fall, motionless at my side. For what seems like an eternity I stay like this, letting the remnants of the fire warm me and only conscious of that and the weight of Fai's body on my own. I can hear Kurogane's panting beside me, and then a groan as he pulls himself closer.

"Hey," a gruff voice next to my ear. "You alright?" All I can do is moan; I'm still catching my breath. Hands lift Fai away from me, and breathing becomes easier. I let my head loll to the side and open my eyes. There's smoke everywhere, and through it I can make out the remains of the underwater spider web. No sign of either Syaoran, or of Sakura. Kamui disappeared as well. "Kid," the ninja calls from above me. The voice now seems tainted with worry. Painfully, I manage to sit up, but the world starts spinning around me and I fall back. "Kid!" I grimace. Everything is pounding and spinning and I want to throw up. "You can get up. Come on," Kurogane urges me. I feel a hand running over my head. "There's no blood, you're fine. Come on, get up." By a supreme effort I force myself to sit and then stand before I have the time to become dizzy and fall back again. I stumble but Kurogane catches me, holding me upright. I look up to him thankfully, and see that Fai is slung loosely over his shoulder. I don't have the time to ask.

"Not a scratch on him," the ninja grunts, "but you had a pretty bad fall. Didn't help that he fell on you, either." I look in his eyes but can't decide if he's disapproving or secretly appreciative. It's hard to tell with Kurogane.

The ninja's gaze flickers to my leg. I shake my head. "Not any worst than the rest of me," I reassure him. Every inch of me, especially my back, hurts. Against that, my right leg is barely a scratch. I reach for Fai, already pulling and tugging at my mental seal for any break or tear I could take advantage of, but so far it's seamless.

Suddenly breaking the eerie silence, we hear a heartbroken scream from the other side of the lake. Both of us freeze. "Sakura," we whisper before dashing.

I don't remember ever running so fast. My heart pounds the rhythm to my footfalls, faster and faster, towards the origin of Sakura's voice. The obstacles seem to disappear under my feet and Kurogane soon does the same behind me. I don't think I can take any more of all this. If something happened to Sakura…

But the basin is huge, so of course I arrive too late. Bursting from behind a broken pillar, the first thing I see is the other Syaoran kneeling on the floor, visibly injured and using a sword for support. I don't have the time to wonder where he got the weapon. He looks up to me with some surprise, and I stop dead in my tracks for barely a second, staring at him. He looks so much like Syaoran… For a second I think it is him sitting there, but my poor balance soon betrays me and I stumble, breaking the spell. My heart skips a beat as I glance to him to detect any threat, but he doesn't move towards me at all. My eyes start searching frantically for Sakura. Silently, as though already knowing what I'm searching for, he looks to the side and I follow his gaze.

Not too far away but far enough, standing in what's left of the glowing orb, I see Sakura and the boy. "Sakura!" The princess seems limp in his arms, and for a moment I fear she's hurt. "Syaoran!" I step towards them, unsure of what to do when I get there. If he hurt Sakura too, I will kill him. At least that's what I tell myself, because my legs seem slow to answer that decision.

A portal opens in front of the boy, almost like someone took a knife to the world and sliced vertically. Beyond it swirls a thick purple mist, and I can feel the familiar energy of another dimension pouring into this one. The boy turns to it, and drops the princess to the ground without a glance. Before he can walk away, Sakura grabs his hand. I see him hesitate, but he soon snatches his hand away and disappears into the purple mist. The portal closes and Sakura falls back. I can't move. I feel paralyzed, like the whole thing isn't really happening. It can't be happening. Syaoran would never turn his back… of all people… to Sakura? My entire body goes cold. Someone seems to shoot up from the ground and catch the princess before she hits the ground. I can see from here that it's a boy, and Kamui suddenly appears to run towards him. They talk. Neither of them seem concerned with Sakura. I refuse to accept what's just happened. I stumble once again, dizzy.

I hear panting beside me as Kurogane bursts out from the smoke and the stone. He's carrying Fai against his body now, and I feel fresh tears pooling in my eyes when I see the mage. If I can't heal him…

The ninja stops abruptly at the sight of the other Syaoran. His eyes quickly fall to the emblem on the boy's chest, and I see the murderous rage boiling behind them. The boy doesn't seem afraid or confused at Kurogane's behaviour; instead he just stares up determinedly. Slowly, as though every second he is spending without fighting is causing him pain, the ninja speaks.

"What," he spits out, "is that emblem on your chest?" I feel his anger grow until the explosion is only a matter of time. The other Syaoran looks calmly to him.

"It is the crest of the one who murdered your mother," he says simply. My eyes widen. I recognize the way Kurogane's shoulders tense, like right before a battle…

"Kuro-sama!" I scream, trying to hold the ninja back as he dives for the boy. I don't know why, but I don't want him to be hurt. Maybe because he resembles Syaoran so much, or maybe because Fai is growing weaker and we don't have the time for this…

"Please wait," a feminine voice rings calmly through the room, coming from nowhere in particular. Everyone freezes. I look up to see a circle of light above our heads, and the image of Yuuko, the dimensions witch, looking down at all of us. I can't help a pang of hatred from running me through. She's the one who sent us this Syaoran in the first place; what was she trying to do with this? Cause everyone more pain than they've already been through?

"This Syaoran was taken prisoner by the one who killed your mother," she continues, looking at Kurogane. "And you won't learn where he is from this boy."

"Yuuko!" Mokona cries from the other side of the underground reservoir, from where the circle of light is emanating. I look nervously to Kurogane. His breathing is slowing down and his eyes are closed, but he still seems to be debating whether or not to jump on the boy. I put a hand on Fai's shoulder, and another on Kurogane's arm.

"Kuro-sama… at least leave him here with me," I finally sigh. If there is no choice but for him to fight, then I'll accept that. But Fai has nothing to do with it. The ninja opens his eyes to look at me. I sustain his crimson gaze. He can do what he wants, but I'm not going to give up.

"Kurogane! What about Fai and Sakura! And Syaoran is hurt too!" Mokona yells out. Kurogane still looks at me. Then, with a sigh, he closes his eyes again and turns away.

"After this you're going to talk to me, witch," he growls, "and tell me everything." Yes, she will tell us everything. About Syaoran… A shudder makes its way up my spine; my body grows cold again, as though the numbness is trying to protect me from the turmoil in my heart. Don't think of him, don't think of what he did, why he did it. Push it in the corner of my mind before I burst. I'm just completely lost, and scared, and confused. I need to understand what happened. But first, I need Fai and Sakura to be all right.

Yuuko bows her head, and for a moment I could swear she seems almost pained. But I shake my head. Not her. Since when does she care about us?

I look nervously to the boy holding Sakura. I've never seen him before, but he seems slightly familiar, almost as though I'd have glimpsed him in a crowd somewhere and forgotten. His clothing is strange for this country but he seems to know Kamui: someone from the same world as him? I don't know. He sees me looking at him and lowers his eyes towards Sakura before shaking his head with the tiny indication of a sad smile. Physically, she's all right, he seems to tell me. But in her soul, it's a whole other matter.

"Kurogane! Aisha! Hurry!" Mokona calls. Kurogane rearranges Fai on his shoulder.

"Let's get them out of here," he orders, quickly marching to the platform. I nod and follow, grabbing a hold of Fai's hand and distractedly running my thumb in circles on the back of it. I just want him to know that someone's there. And that I won't rest until he comes back to us. Already I pull and tug at the seal around my head with the energy of despair. We've already lost too much time. I start shaking again, and a tear rolls down my cheek.

I won't let him die.

XxX

Leaving the underground brings no release from the weight in my chest. By the time we arrive at our room on the tenth floor, Fai's breathing has become so shallow I fear he won't be able to keep it up for much longer. My body is shaking from both mental and physical exhaustion, and I fall to my knees as soon as Kurogane drops Fai on the bed, unable to carry myself. I feel so dizzy. Tears are falling freely from my eyes now; despite all my efforts, I've failed to bring my magic to life. I bite my lip and try again, but the only thing I manage is an exclamation of despair as I fail once more. I feel so worthless. I cling to Fai's hand like it's my only link to sanity, and perhaps it is. He has to live. We've already lost so much, we can't lose him too. I can't lose him. And yet I'm too weak to save him.

I feel a heavy hand on my shoulder as I muffle another sob. I look up to Kurogane. In his eyes I can see that he's just as worried as I am, but he won't let anyone else see it. He's a warrior, he's seen injuries before; he knows how critical this is. He doesn't try to smile or reassure me in any way. He doesn't try to lie. But he squeezes my collarbone as though he's trying to infuse in me some of his strength. And I'm suddenly grateful that he's there and that I'm not the only person trying to save Fai. Even though the only person who could truly comfort me is dying, it's nice to know I'm not alone.

Outside, the rain pounds like the thunder of a thousand footsteps on the sand, each bringing their little tang of nostalgia up to us through the broken windows. Everyone is moving in the room, some people are screaming orders while others are running to execute them, Sakura is placed on the bed close to Fai, the boy who brought her here stands in a corner with Kamui and the other Syaoran limps into the room with help from Nataku and Yuuto, but I barely register any of it. There's only the small island formed by Fai, Kurogane and I in the center of this commotion that seems truly real to me, like all the rest doesn't concern me anymore. Just us and our common determination to keep Fai alive.

Mokona suddenly jumps into my arms, sobbing, and I press him close. "Fai will be fine, right?" the fur-ball cries. "Satsuki said she might help save Fai, so he'll be alright, right?" He shudders on my neck. I want to tell him that everything will be fine, but I choke on the words. It seems like nothing will ever be fine anymore.

Satsuki runs towards us, holding a bag in her arms. Kurogane moves out of her way, letting go of my shoulder. I watch the young woman feverishly pull out bandages and dressings, then a silver basin and various other instruments.

"I'm a med student," she says hurriedly, avoiding my eyes. "I'll try to help." I nod. Even she can't hide that this might not end well. I bite my lip to keep it from trembling, and wipe the sweat from Fai's face. New pearls of water quickly appear in their place. The mage is shaking feverishly. Satsuki expertly presses dressings against Fai's eye, studying him closely. Then she looks at me again. "Pull that blanket over him," she orders. I obey. If I can't heal him myself, then I'll find someone else who can. And if this person can be Satsuki, then so be it. I don't care, as long as Fai survives.

The room grows eerily silent as we watch Satsuki try her best to stop the blood. But even I can tell by her expression that things aren't going well. I run both thumbs in circles on the back of Fai's hand, resting my forehead against it, and willing once again for my magic to come and heal him. His fingers are so cold. Just the thought of never seeing his smile again is enough for an excruciating pain to fill me. No matter how fake it may be. I can't let that smile disappear. My lips form words, and I repeat the mage's name over and over again like a prayer.

"Fai…"

I hear Satsuki sigh next to me. "It's no use…" she says, placing another dressing in the silver basin. I tense at those words. No…

"No!" I yell, looking at her. Pleading. She seems truly sorry, but shakes her head. The words ring again and again in my head, sounding like a death sentence: _It's no use._ She can't mean that. Fai isn't going to die. Not because I was weak and couldn't protect him.

"His eyeball has been gouged out," she explains softly. "In a case like this, it's not uncommon to just die of shock." Then she looks down sadly. "Not to mention that we don't have enough medicine here." I buck against that idea and start gasping for air. It's like the entire weight of the underground cave has fallen on me, pinning me down. I'm shaking, Fai's dying and there's suddenly not enough air in this room. There has to be a way to heal him. Has to be a way to break this seal.

I should have agreed to that woman's offer to take it off in Recort, I shouldn't have accepted so easily to wait for another way to show up. Because now I need it and it's too late. If it wasn't for this goddamned seal… My fingers hook onto my barrette like they're trying to pry it off. I'm not sure what I want to do.

"No," I repeat agitatedly, "no, no, no…" It's all my fault. I've never felt so helpless.

"We have no doctor here," I hear Yuuto apologize near us. "Satsuki-chan is a med student, but as far as performing surgery… that's really difficult." I look to Kurogane, but the ninja's gaze is impenetrable. My nails claw at the silver barrette in my hair. I have to take it off. I have to…

"Take it off," I order loudly to no one in particular, covering all the voices who have begun to speak. The room freezes. "Take it off!" I repeat, my voice nearly hysterical. I pull on my barrette. "I don't care what you use but find a way to take it off!" I'm not thinking of the possible consequences of this; all I want is to be able to heal Fai.

Everyone looks at me like I've gone crazy, and I glare at them from under my eyebrows. We don't have time for this, Fai's pulse is getting weaker. Even Kurogane's gaze is doubtful as he looks at me, like he too thinks I might have snaped. My shaky fingers slip against the silver tube's lock as I determinedly keep trying.

Suddenly, the other Syaoran opens his mouth, like he wants to say something but is too shy to do it. His eyes rest on Kurogane. "It's the seal," he says softly. I forcefully look away from him; I can't see him right now, when I'm trying so desperately not to think of Syaoran.

"Take it off!" I plead again. "Break it!" The ninja frowns for a second, then looks at me and his eyes widen. He's understood.

"Do you have any tools?" he asks harshly, turning to a frozen Yuuto. The man nods slowly, his eyes going from me to Kurogane with growing incomprehension. "Where?" the ninja growls, his eyes gleaming.

"Umm… not far, we have an emergency kit in the hallway…" Yuuto stutters.

"Show me," the ninja cuts him off. Hesitantly, Yuuto guides him towards the curtain separating this room from the hallway, but Kurogane soon passes him, forcing him to run. Mokona looks up towards me, shaking.

"Didn't Yuuko say it might be dangerous if Aisha took it off?" he asks meekly. I look down, fleetingly remembering the witch's previous refusal to take this as my price. My brows knit determinedly.

"I don't care," I sob, clutching Fai's hand harder. I should have been there to protect Fai to begin with, so who cares what happens to me if I save his life? It doesn't matter what the price is. My hysteria starts making place for a cold determination now that things are finally moving forward. Kurogane bursts back into the room, holding a large toolbox, Yuuto on his heels. I reach for it. Mokona starts sobbing in my neck.

"But if Yuuko said so, then it's because it's true! What if the punishment is really bad? I don't want anyone to get hurt!"

"Fai is already hurt, Moko-chan!" I snap, feeling guilty for being so rough on him. But if my sacrifice can bring Fai back to us, then I don't care if I get hurt. Mokona sobs harder, hanging on to me.

"Yuuko!" he cries. "Yuuko! Please!" The light shoots out from the jewel on his forehead, and the image of the witch appears once again above us. "Fai's going to die! And I don't want Aisha to get hurt! Please Yuuko!" The witch takes a look around the room and her eyes fall to the floor. Then she looks at me.

"Taking off the seal by any other way than magic will not work," she says like she already knew I would try it. "I've told you that before."

"Then you take it off," I reply harshly, glaring at her. Her eyes widen slightly, but then she sighs.

"There will be a price," she warns.

"Bring it." Anything to save him. Yuuko opens her mouth as though to say something, then stops herself and looks away thoughtfully. She sighs again.

"The price would be too great for you to bear," she finally says, shaking her head. An exclamation of anger escapes my lips.

"I don't care what it is, just tell me and take it!" I scream. "That's all you want, right? A price, and then you grant a wish? So why do you suddenly care what happens to us?" I haven't stopped shaking since we've left the underground reservoir, and I don't care any more if it's from fear or fatigue or anger. All I know is that I can't stop myself from trembling uncontrollably as I glare at Yuuko. The witch presses her lips together tightly, and I think I see her glancing at Fai.

"If you cannot pay the price, I cannot grant your wish," she says calmly. I bite my lip, and taste a drop of blood ooze out into my mouth. I have to find a way, I have to.

"Then save him," I say hoarsely, my throat constricted like I haven't used it in years. Tears start pooling in my eyes. This may be our only hope. "You won't let me do it myself, fine. But save him!"

Fai's fingers tighten around mine, and I jump with relief at the first sign of life we've received from him. I turn back to him hurriedly, squeezing his hand. His eyes are still closed, but I can tell he's awake. His breath hisses out painfully, like he's trying to say something.

"Hey, it's alright," I say softly, rubbing his shoulder like I would do to the twins when they were sick in bed. "Don't try to talk. I'm here, it's going to be fine. We'll get you out of this." His remaining visible eyebrow frowns over his closed lid.

"D… don't…" he whispers hoarsely. I freeze, for a moment wondering if I misheard him. Surely I did, surely he's not saying that… "If I continue to live, Syaoran-kun's magic will… also live," he continues in short breaths. "It's only half of the magic, but… it's too great…" I clutch his hand, refusing to understand the meaning of his words. He's not asking for this. He can't be… my chest starts growing cold and numb, pushing away the pain. Fai's remaining eye opens, but I can't feel the joy I thought I would when I would finally see that blue again. "He won't be able to be… stopped."

"Fai, don't think about that," I say, tears nonetheless streaming down my face. "That's not true." Behind me, a thunderous crash makes me jump. I turn to see the crater Kurogane's fist left in the stone wall. I can't see the ninja's eyes, but from here I can tell that he's furious.

"What kind of person would just lay down and accept that?" he growls, before lunging towards Fai.

"Kurogane!" Mokona yells. The ninja's fist comes up under Fai's chin, pulling him up by the collar, his other fist already gearing up for a blow. I scream.

"Kuro-sama!" He freezes, his eyes still flaming. I throw myself in the small space between the men, glaring at Kurogane. My hand closes around his fist, pushing it down. I can't see them fight like this. We're already so broken, with Fai hurt and Sakura in her state, and Syaoran gone…

Syaoran…

"I'm… sorry…" Fai says, his breath tickling my ear. Then I feel his body go limp beside me. Turning around hurriedly, I catch him and turn to Kurogane with a warning glance. With a sigh, the ninja lets go of the mage's collar and I gently lay Fai on my lap. The ninja stands beside me. For the first time, Kurogane seems as helpless and tired as I am. My heart pinches, and I regret yelling at him. If Fai wasn't in such a critical state, I would have punched him myself. I still can't believe he said those things. I can't believe that Fai asked us to let him die. He seems so fragile now, paler than the sheets he brought us only last night, before any of this happened. When he was still smiling and joking around and we didn't know the lengths he would go to save any one of us. His apology still rings in my mind as I look sadly down at him. He shouldn't be apologizing to me – I should be saying those words to him. For so many reasons, and now for one more: I won't let him sacrifice himself for us. No matter how much harder life might be if he survives, I'll take it.

Kurogane and I look at each other, and I see that he's thinking exactly like me. But he's the one who speaks first.

"Witch," he calls without looking, "is there a way to save this guy?" I feel myself tense as we wait for her answer. If she says there's nothing we can do to save this smile, I'll break. But she can't say that. There has to be a way. I clutch Fai's hand and bite my lip.

"There is," she answers after what seems like an eternity. I breathe again. "However," she continues, "if I were to do it the price would be too heavy to bear." My heart sinks suddenly. Beside me, Kurogane grows dark.

"What?" I cry. "Is there anything we _can_ pay?" I don't understand. She's never had any hesitations about taking things from us, and now twice she refuses to accept a price, when we're most desperate. Why does she so suddenly _care_?

Before she can answer Kusanagi bursts into the room like a hurricane, Kakyou trailing after him. "The underground water has almost all disappeared!" he yells, an expression of panic on his face. All the Water guardians turn to him, stricken. The other Syaoran looks down, a pained expression on his face.

"It's because I appeared there…" he says gravely, like a child awaiting punishment.

"No." It's the boy who knows Kamui who has spoken. He looks to all of us in turn with a remorseful expression. "It's my fault. As soon as we arrived in this world, we were pulled in by a sunken power underneath the water. I was pulled into sleep, just like I drew that girl after me." He looks at Sakura with a mixture of regret and tenderness. "So, even if what happened afterwards was inevitable, it was my fault that it occurred in that basement."

"Whatever the cause, it won't bring back the water," Kakyou objects, shaking his head. I brush away Fai's bangs, tenderly, trying not to cry. Everything we've tried so far has failed, and Fai himself has told us to let him die. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm barely listening to the others talking. I don't care about the water. It's because of the water that I wasn't able to save Fai or Syaoran. That I'm going to loose them both… I can't help but cry. It just seems like there's nothing more we can do to save him. I feel like a hand has grabbed hold of my heart, constricting it. This feeling that I don't recognize, the same one as before, floods me again. I don't want to loose him. I don't want to give up, but I don't know what else I can do.

"It's been a while, Yuuko," Kamui's friend says. The witch nods.

"It has."

"I have a request," the boy continues. "I would like to have water. Enough to fill the underground reservoir." The Water guardians gasp in unison. I don't care. From the slowly fading pulse of Fai's presence I can tell that he doesn't have much time left. Pushing against the seal one last time, I try to break it. It's no use. Another sob shakes me. I'm so weak.

I look to the side. Kurogane's eyes are clouded in shadows, but I can make out the almost bloodthirsty craze I know is there. It was the same yesterday, when he fought Kamui. Except this isn't an enemy he can fight and destroy, and he knows it. I'm afraid of what he'll do if Fai dies. I don't want to lose him too. It would be so much easier for all of us if I were the one lying on this bed. If I had been there to protect Fai like I promised. Then maybe they would have been able to let me go.

"There will be a price," Yuuko rings her customary warning. I nod distractedly, even though I know she's not talking to me. We all know that. And I would pay it. I would pay anything if Fai could just come back to us. "The same as when I gave you the means to cross dimensions as twins." I barely register Kamui's scowl at those words, or the fact that he and this other boy are apparently brothers.

"I understand," the boy says.

"Kurogane, Aisha," the witch calls suddenly, and we both look up. She watches us both for a second, and in her eyes I think I see something like kindness. "Please ask me to fill the underground reservoir with water," she says, and I look at her distrustfully. Why should I? It's not my problem. As though in approbation, Kurogane grunts menacingly. But she's not done. "And then, as an exchange for both of you requesting Subaru's wish, ask of Subaru that he gives his blood, a vampire's blood, to Fai." I'm conscious of my fingers twitching around Fai's body as I look to the boy she just named Subaru. I didn't think anything could surprise me anymore. He's… "A vampire's ability to heal greatly surpasses that of a human's," Yuuko continues. "Even more so, since these two are purebred. If he receives that blood, Fai will not die." My heartbeat quickens as I start to feel hope again. If we do as she says, Fai will not die. Subaru nods slightly in response to my enquiring gaze. I bring my hand to my mouth. Answering to my anxiousness, I bite my thumb until I feel the thin crust of my scar give way to new blood. So far, everything we've tried has failed. How do we know this will work out? And drinking vampire blood… what else does it entail?

"No," Kamui interferes, suddenly stepping in front of his brother. His eyes are hard. "If he becomes another interference like that hunter…"

"Kamui." It's Subaru, placing a hand on the other boy's shoulder. "Just wait, okay?" Reluctantly, Kamui stands back.

"Will Fai turn into a vampire?" Mokona's voice surprises me. The fur-ball is still hanging on to my neck. "Will he have to suck the blood of lots of people, like in a book that Yuuko showed me once?" I put a hand on him to steady him.

"He will if he drinks vampire blood and nothing else," Yuuko replies. I take a deep breath. I'm not sure if I have the right to decide this for him, but I can't bear to see Fai die. If what he'll need is blood, I'll give him mine gladly. The mage's earlier words ring in my head, but I push them away. I won't let him die, no matter what he says. Even if he hates me for it.

"Aisha, Kurogane," the witch calls again, and I look up. The ninja's expression has softened somewhat since she's offered us the deal, and his eyes no longer gleam murderously, but he still looks at the witch with steely determination. I suppose I look the same. Yuuko nods slightly, almost as though in appreciation. "That Fai does not die is your request," she says. "He does not wish it. Therefore, the responsibility for making him live must fall on you as well." My heart clenches a bit when she reminds us that we are doing this against Fai's will, but I nod.

"What do I do?" Kurogane asks gruffly. I frown at his use of the singular.

"It's my wish too," I remind him. He glances at me.

"We don't have the time to argue about this," he grunts, looking down at Fai. I glare up at him. He thinks I don't know?

"You're right," I reply with a calm that I wouldn't have thought possible in such circumstances. I turn to the witch. "So we'll share," I declare before Kurogane can put another word in. He may think it's his responsibility to protect me, but I won't let him pay alone. It was also my responsibility to watch over Fai, and I failed. "What do we do?"

Yuuko points ominously to both of us. "You," she says, "will become his game." I frown, not understanding. "When he drinks Subaru's blood, he will drink both of your bloods with it. It will make Fai only able to accept either of your bloods," she explains. "In other words, the only people whose blood he will be able to drink will be you two."

"Does it work with two different bloods?" I ask, a little nervous that Kurogane might be the only one able to pay after all. Yuuko has a little, humourless smile.

"I've never tried it, but it should," she answers like this would be an interesting experiment to witness. Kurogane says nothing, but I can tell he's not pleased that I've gotten my way. Mokona starts shaking again.

"That means, if anything happens to Kurogane and Aisha, Fai will…" he starts hesitantly, like he doesn't really want the answer. Yuuko closes her eyes and nods.

"He will die," she confirms. I bite my lip. Kurogane's expression doesn't change. "Of course," she adds, "because the price is shared, the burden is lightened. But it still remains a heavy load to carry another's life on your shoulders." I glance to Kurogane, who nods almost imperceptibly. I put a hand on his arm.

"We'll pay the price for the water," I say, emphasizing the plural. Kurogane grunts affirmatively as he looks up to Subaru.

"So hand over the blood," he orders. Kamui's lip twitches, but he says nothing. I feel Fai move under my hands.

"Stop…" he says hoarsely, without opening his eyes, and I suddenly wonder how long he's been awake.

"Shut it!" Kurogane snaps, slipping his hand under the wizard's head to force him to look up. Fai's eye flutters open hurriedly, like he's suddenly been jolted to life by the ninja's commanding voice. "If you really want to die, I'll kill you myself," Kurogane growls, glaring down at him. "Until then, live." The mage's mouth opens in an expression of silent surprise, like for a second he can't believe the ninja's words. His gaze meets mine. I don't know what he sees there, but suddenly his lips twitch into a small knowing smile and he closes his eyes. I gasp. I recognize that expression; I saw him wear the same in Shura, as I was holding a knife to his throat and debating whether or not to pull. I know it by heart for meditating over it afterwards: his subjected smile, the way he holds his head, almost like he's inviting me to give the final blow. And I understand that he's giving me one last chance to do right by him. One last chance to let him die. And that he probably won't forgive me if I don't.

My lip starts trembling and I feel the weight in my chest intensify. I shake my head. I know what he wants, but I can't give it to him. I can't. My hands come up to frame his face as I lean down, letting our foreheads touch.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, not even sure if he can hear me. My voice cracks and I push back tears. Even if he never smiles for me again, even if I never again hear his voice call out some absurd nickname, I want him to live. Because if I know that he's there, and he's safe, then it's enough.

I sit up again, my fingers brushing away his bangs tenderly. Then I look back to Subaru, waiting.

"I'll do it," Kamui suddenly announces, stepping forward. Subaru looks at him in surprise.

"But, Kamui…" he protests while his brother pulls up his sleeve. With a sharp claw-like nail, he draws a neat line on the inside of his wrist. Blood starts flowing immediately.

"I don't want anyone messing with Subaru's blood anymore," he interrupts, looking to all of us as though he's serving us a warning. As he walks up to us, I see his eyes turn amber and his pupils turn to vertical slits, like a cat's. "Hold out your arms," he orders, demonstrating as he does so. I can't disguise my irritation as I obey to his condescending tone. I never liked him, but he's helping us save Fai, so I force myself to stay nice.

He goes to Kurogane's arm first, slashing his wrist cleanly from side to side. The ninja doesn't even wince as the blood bubbles up and overflows. Then Kamui moves on to me, and I can't help a grimace as he draws a line of fire on the inside of my arm. The vampire boy turns his wrist over, directing the flow of blood directly into Kurogane's wound. I watch as their bloods mingle in crimson swirls – Kamui's is a little darker than Kurogane's - before falling on my wrist. Without looking at each other, I place my arm over Fai's mouth and Kurogane places his over mine. I clutch Fai's hand and bite my lip. Whatever happens, this is my choice. Kurogane's hand falls on my shoulder and squeezes. I look to him in surprise; he nods slightly, and behind the resolve I see something like pride, maybe, and also sadness. He's understood the meaning of that smile too, and he's not backing down. Together we watch our bloods drip into Fai's mouth, some of it falling a little to the side and streaming down the side of his face to his ear and onto my lap. Whatever happens, this is our choice.

The mage swallows painfully, chokes a little on the blood, and suddenly his eye snaps open. They're golden, with vertical slits like a cat's. With a choked cry, his entire body convulses and he lifts himself off the mattress before falling back, reaching in front of him for something I can't see. His nails scratch my skin when I try to hold him down.

"What's wrong?" I ask Kamui, panicked, while I slide off the mattress to keep Fai from hurting himself. The mage's nails dig into the skin of my arms, and his breathing is now reduced to breathless pants. Kurogane puts a hand on his back, steadying him.

"Hold him down," Kamui orders coolly. He looks down at Fai with disinterest. "The structure of his body is changing. Of course it hurts," he continues. I can't take it anymore: the way he looks at us like all we are is a waste of time, his complete indifference, his condescending tone, and then the fact that he hurt Syaoran without provocation and refused to help us when we needed it… I snap.

I twirl on my feet and kick him in the stomach without holding back. He doesn't see it coming; his body flies back before he lands on his feet, his nails now protruding from his fingers like claws. His expression of surprise quickly melts into a hateful glare: I guess he's not used to being hit. I return his glare with all the ferocity I can muster. For a second I think he'll jump on me, but then Subaru puts a hand on his shoulder to hold him back.

"Kamui, please," he says, nonetheless sending me a warning glance.

"You deserved that," I snarl, turning back to Fai without a second look. He's not worth my time. I meet Kurogane's eyes: they seem slightly surprised when they look at me, but then again, I don't blame him. I surprised even myself.

The expression of pure fear on Fai's face wrings my heart. I let him claw at my shoulders and collarbone as I try to steady him, but he's too strong. Kurogane comes up behind me to help, forcefully grabbing hold of his arms to hold him in place. But even then, he doesn't stop shaking. Closing his eye and gritting his teeth, he muffles a scream as his fingers dig deep in my skin, and I grimace.

"Would you mind leaving for a while?" I hear Subaru ask. After a short pause, Kakyou's voice adds:

"Let's leave. They won't run away." I detect some sadness in his tone. The shuffle of feet leaving the room is the next thing I hear, and Satsuki who mutters, "Sorry I couldn't do anything." She seems sincere. Only Kamui and Subaru stay with us, as well as the other Syaoran. Yuuko is still there as well, observing the scene silently from her magic circle.

"Carry the princess," Kurogane suddenly orders to someone behind us, and I see the other Syaoran pick up Sakura from the bed, away from Fai's struggling body. I nod to him. His eyes widen for a moment, and then he nods too. I try to smile before Fai steals my attention with a particularly violent convulsion. Whoever this boy is, he seems to have been through a lot and the least I could do is be nice to him.

My hands come up to frame Fai's face. "Fai, look at me," I say, brushing his hair, "just look at me. It's going to be fine, you have to believe me, okay? We're here, we won't let anything happen to you." _And yet we're the reason he's suffering like this, _I remind myself painfully, looking at his face. I'm the reason he's suffering like this. Because if I would have been there, he would have been okay. I feel my heart lurch as he gasps for air, as though I'm the one being ripped apart from the inside. But this is our choice, and I'll force myself to live with the consequences.

"What will happen to his left eye?" Kurogane asks during one of Fai's calmer periods. I look back to Kamui, who doesn't meet our eyes.

"The wounds received prior to becoming a vampire won't heal. Because it has been gouged out, it will remain empty." Memories of who has gouged it out flood me, but I push them out forcefully. Later. Later I'll think about him, but not now.

"Vampires aren't eternally young and immortal," Yuuko adds for good measure. "That is only a legend. They are not weakened by the sun or holy water." She turns her eyes to Subaru and Kamui. "Since these two are purebred, they possess extraordinary healing powers." As a matter of fact, the wound on Kamui's wrist has already disappeared completely. "Those who acquire vampirism are a little stronger than humans," the witch continues, "and they age slower. Since Fai's life is already made longer by his strong magic powers, this won't really change. He's already many years older than you, Kurogane," she answers to the silent question. I look down to Fai's youthful face and can't bring myself to believe he's older than Kurogane. I tell myself not to think about it for now. "Both of your life spans increase as well. And unlike before, blood, the blood of a prey, is needed to survive." I look up to her.

"Anything else?" I ask sarcastically.

"Not for now," she replies calmly, like the question had been serious. I grunt. Kamui steps closer to us, for the first time displaying some sort of interest.

"You agreed to becoming game without being aware of this?" he asks curiously. "Without knowing that you would benefit from the witch's transaction as well?"

"Does it matter?" I answer. Right now, knowing that my lifespan has increased by a few years leaves me cold. Fai groans and shakes again, and I can't help an exclamation of pain from crossing my lips; his nails are digging deeper and deeper into my flesh, leaving burning, bleeding marks all over my arms.

"Watch for the claws," Kamui warns a little too late, his voice inexpressive as ever. I look to Fai's hand: his nails have filed into thin point and grown into my skin.

"You okay?" Kurogane asks. I nod.

"Yeah, it's fine." I grip Fai's elbows with all my strength to erase the pain. "I can't even feel it anymore." The ninja looks at me with doubt, but says nothing. If this is my punishment for what I've done, I'll take it; Fai is suffering a lot more than I am now.

"Didn't you know your life spans would increase?" Kamui insists, now that the diversion is over. With an annoyed sigh, Kurogane turns to him.

"If we would have hesitated even a bit, this guy would have died," he says gruffly. His eyes fall on Mokona. "Besides, this little guy here trusted her to find a way. He asked for her help. So I believed in that." Mokona smiles, a few tears falling down from his eyes.

"Kurogane…"

"Oh, one more thing," Yuuko says suddenly, like she's just thought of it. "If you return his stolen left eye, Fai's magic will return as well. With that, the need for vampire's blood will be negated. If Fai's left eye is returned, you won't have to act as game anymore." I look up to her with the strange impression that this is something she's doing for us, not something that would have happened nonetheless.

"So if Fai gets his eye back, he won't need to drink blood anymore, right?" Mokona asks in a scream of joy. Kurogane and Yuuko look at each other for a few moments.

"You tested us, right?" the ninja suddenly asks. I don't really understand what he means by this, but the witch's lips tighten in a sign that she was, indeed, testing us in some way. I frown. I don't like that idea.

Suddenly, Fai's grip on my arms relaxes. I think everyone hears my sigh of relief when his nails retract, just before more blood shoots up from the wounds. But I have more important things to think about right now than my arms; my eyes look for Fai's as he holds himself up on his hands and knees, panting. Sweat drips from his face and his bandage has gone loose. It now hangs every which way over his head and shoulders, the dressing gone. When he looks up, only one eye opened, I am the first one he sees. I gasp and shudder. And I realize that I had been hoping to have misread his expression, to have miscalculated something, anything; that I had been counting on Fai's kindness, taking it for granted. That I had hoped he would forgive me. And now, looking into his golden eye slowly turning to blue, I realize that there never was any hope. He warned me.

The empty socket brings back memories of Syaoran, and with that more pain and confusion. I try to push them back but fail; I can no longer push them behind my determination to save Fai, and now they fight for my attention, swirling in a dark mess of emotions I can't even begin to identify. I feel like I'm going to burst. I try to find relief in Fai's face, only to remember there will be no relief for me there from now on.

And as he falls and I fall and Mokona screams out his name in horror, the worst pain imaginable runs through me like a sword, pinning me down. Not because I saved Fai but because I hurt him, hurt him so badly that he'll never forgive me even as I was trying to protect him, because I tried and failed to save Syaoran and now he betrayed us and he's gone somewhere we can't follow, leaving a trail of broken hearts and bodies behind him. Because it all seems so senseless to me. This unknown, excruciating feeling washes over me like a wave. I'm going to drown in it, but I can't cry in front of Kamui and this other Syaoran, not even in front of Subaru who seems so kind, and especially not in front of Kurogane. I can't let them see my weakness. I feel my chest go cold and numb, pushing the pain away like a shield. Closing my eyes to the world around me, I accept this last defence I am being offered, and I let the cold take me.


	41. Bloodstained

**DISCLAIMER: TRC IS NOT MINE although I really wish I was CLAMP and could say that it is. **

**Phew! Alright, so I've finally finished this chapter. My deepest apologies if it sucks. Personally, I like the second part better, but that's me. I have no rant for this, so enjoy! ^_^**

**XxX**

My eyes open. The world is blurry, like through tears, but I know I'm not crying. I let the cold take a hold of me, pushing out the feeling and the vulnerability, covering me like a thin sheet of ice. I have to keep the feelings away, because they make me weak. Syaoran's gone and Fai hates me, but I don't care, I don't care, it doesn't matter...

My knees bang against the floor with a thud and I fall, sitting, against Kurogane's legs, but I don't feel it. I no longer feel the wounds on my arms either. I let a deep breath hiss out from between my teeth. I'm so numb…

"It's alright now. Let him rest," I hear Subaru say kindly, looking down at a weeping Mokona. I mutely resent him for that comment. Of course nothing is alright.

"Are you okay?" Kurogane asks, looking down suspiciously at me. I nod, looking up to him.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I say. My voice sounds different, like it too has been numbed. I see the doubt in Kurogane's eyes but only look back to Fai's body in front of me, lying on the bed. You could swear he was peacefully asleep. He even fell on his stomach, in an almost exact replica of his usual sleeping position. He seems unreal, like in a dream. The world feels so distant. I can see it and hear it, but I am not a part of it. I am only watching through the ice, invincible, untouchable. Cold.

Mokona suddenly jumps from my shoulder to Kamui's neck. "Thank you… for giving Fai blood…" he says meekly. The vampire boy looks down to him with a surprised expression.

"It wasn't much…" he protests, taken aback. Mokona turns towards Fai, a few tears still glistening at the corner of his eyes.

"I'm sorry Fai…" he says. "Since Fai is so kind, I'm sure it will be more painful for him from now on, but… I didn't want you to die…" I shift my weight onto my knees again, leaning forward towards the bed. Fai really looks like he's just sleeping. I didn't want him to die either, but I'm the one who acted. I have a joyless smile. Is it a sin to wish for someone's life against their will, or just to act upon that desire?

I don't like the cold. It's too omnipresent, too threatening. But I need it. I need it to shield me from my feelings, to keep me from drowning in my own tears. I need it to lie to me, to tell me that all of this is far away, that it can't touch me. I need it to take the place of the comfort I am not entitled to ask of anyone – they are all too broken to give any. But I can't afford to break any more than I am now. For their sake, and for mine, I have to stay strong.

Still clutching Sakura close to his body protectively, the other Syaoran pulls out a strip of black fabric and hands it to Kurogane. I recognize the boy's eye patch, and if it weren't for my icy armour I think I would burst out crying. That's right. Fai needs one of those now.

Kurogane eyes the boy warily for a moment, but nonetheless takes the strip of fabric. Their eyes lock for a moment, and I see it: the same sincere flame I've seen countless times in Syaoran's eyes, now burning behind this boy's irises. Physically they look the same, and they act similarly, but I know it's not really him. This boy has a shadow behind his eyes, like he's seen things Syaoran never could have imagined. Fleetingly, I wonder what that could be. I know that Syaoran was somehow a copy of him, although I don't understand how exactly. At first I thought they were identical, but now I can see that they're not. That shadow is still there, as a reminder that they might act and look the same, but they haven't lived the same lives. I still don't know who this boy is and what he plans to do, but I'll have to remember that shadow if I don't want him to become a surrogate for Syaoran. I don't want to believe that our Syaoran could ever be replaced. Still, I have to admit that this new boy is kind, and I could like him. Yuuko said he was captured by the same person who killed Kurogane's mother. I can't help but feel like that person is somehow the key to all of this.

I observe Kurogane carefully as he leans down to place the eye patch over Fai's left eye. And when he tugs at the bandana, I watch the wizard's pale face now obscured by the black velvet, and it's almost like he's tugging at my heartstrings, reminding me that the one sleeping there is a new Fai, both inside and out. That he's changed. And that, if I want to survive, I have to change too. But I don't let the emotions touch me, just the brutal knowledge of it. My last defence is still holding, keeping my weakness in. I can't cry in front of them.

"Even if you don't return the left eye, Fai can choose not to drink your blood," Yuuko suddenly says, softly, like a trainer unwilling to startle a pair of wild animals. "No matter what methods you use. Even if he smiles from now on, it doesn't mean he's accepted it." Kurogane stands up, and for a moment our eyes meet before he looks back to Fai.

"I understand," he sighs gruffly, and just for these two words his voice sounds as tired and resigned as he must be, although he'd never admit it. We both know our fight to keep Fai alive is far from over. I look up to the ceiling, blankly. I'm touching Kurogane, but I feel so far away from him, from everything in this room. I can almost convince myself that they don't concern me, that all I've witnessed in the past hours happened to someone else. But I know they didn't. First, I remember with a strange aloofness, we need to take care of the water. Because it did happen to me, and although I'd like to think it's not true I am still living in this world. I don't want to move; the layer of ice on my skin is so heavy I don't think I can. I'm so numb I just want to close my eyes and sleep, to shed this lack of feeling away, wake up tomorrow and for a few blessed moments think that this has all been a dream, but I can't. I still need to understand what has happened, and we have to pay the price for keeping Fai alive. I can numb my senses and pretend this isn't real, but I can't escape completely.

"I still have things I want to hear," Kurogane reminds Yuuko, suddenly hoisting Fai up against his shoulder, "But first, the water for the underground." His eyes flicker to me as he mentions this, pulling me back into the world and out of my head, and I think I nod as I stand up. I feel a little guilty that I can't offer him any comfort like he gave me, but if I want to help him right now I have to be strong. I have to pretend that this armour of ice makes me invincible, but I realize how fragile it is. I can't open myself to any kind of emotion without risking tearing it apart. Yuuko closes her eyes, and the magic circle begins to flicker.

"Mokona, go with Kurogane," she says.

"Yup," Mokona answers obediently. The witch disappears. Kurogane turns to the other Syaoran.

"You come too," he orders. "And bring the princess." He doesn't want us to be apart, I can feel it; last time we separated, disaster struck. So I can understand why he's insisting even the other Syaoran come with Sakura. The boy looks down at Sakura and gently brushes something away from her face: I think it's a tear. There's the same tenderness in his movements as Syaoran used to have with his princess. I look at Kurogane; by the way he looks at the boy, I know he's really trying to like him. He's really trying not to look at the symbol on the boy's chest and to treat him like one of us.

Slowly, like caught in a daze, I follow Kurogane through the door. The other Syaoran is right behind me, and the vampire twins are following us too, although Kamui seems rather unwilling to do so. I watch them pass as I hold the curtain up; Subaru smiles to me, to which I try to answer, but I can feel the result breaking as soon as it reaches my lips.

The Water guardians are still waiting outside. They watch us come out with expressions ranging from pity to solicitude. Yuuto and Kusanagi smile, but their attempts fall flat. Satsuki doesn't even try to fake a smile; she won't even look at Fai. Her eyes stay locked on the floor. I look around, grateful that Kazuki isn't here. He's just a child, and this doesn't concern him. I wonder fleetingly where the others brought him. I haven't seen him since I dove into the basin. I cross Nataku's gaze for a second, and he looks down.

"I'm sorry," he whispers. I shake my head.

"... t's not your fault," I say. He looks back up at me.

"Still," he says, and I think there's a bit of regret in his voice. I shake my head again. I don't want kindness from him.

I press myself against the wall to let the others go before me; I notice that the Water guardians form a protective circle around Kurogane and Syaoran, guiding them down the emptied hallway. I feel so empty-handed beside them both, because I can't do what they're doing: I can't carry anyone on my shoulders, or in my arms. I'm always the one who needs to be carried, helped and reassured. But not anymore, I decide. I won't break down anymore, and I won't depend on anyone. I'll become strong enough to carry us on my own. I've never felt more helpless than I did today, grasping Fai's hand and yet unable to heal him, and I hate it. I hate it.

Before following, I look back once more to the room we are leaving: the sheets on the bed are stretched and thrown around, following the shapes of Fai's struggling body and Sakura's peaceful sleep; a toolbox lies open on the floor in the very same spot where Syaoran stood this morning, smiling as he said goodbye to Kurogane for the last time; a small crater stands out against the dull stone, roughly the size of Kurogane's fist; a few drops of rain sizzle on the floor next to a broken window, the post-appocalyptic landscape I know by heart barely visible through the downpour. Everywhere it seems, something reminds me of Syaoran, Fai, Sakura, Kurogane, Mokona, talking and laughing and sleeping and living; I can almost see the ghostly figures from my memories act out conversations or pacing back and forth waiting for something. We've only been here a day, and already this place is haunted with the ghosts of what we used to be. A wave hits me, threatening to drown me; I feel my lower lip shaking, and something wet rolls down my cheek, as though my armour is melting. My heart races wildly, and I quickly let the curtain fall between me and the room, ordering the ghosts to silence. I close my eyes and let the cold penetrate me again, strange and threatening, but my only chance to preserve my sanity. I have to keep the past at bay for now, because the past doesn't belong here. It's buried, forgotten, gone, it never happened. The past left when Syaoran did, and there's nothing I can do about it except survive.

"Hey kid, you coming?"

"Yes," I answer before running down the hall, my voice once again so, so numb.

XxX

As we make our way downstairs, the inhabitants of the Government Building watch us go by with renewed curiosity. Many of them are probably wondering about the reasons for all the commotion we caused the last time we passed by; it all seems like a bad dream to me. I avoid their gaze as much as possible, keeping it locked to the floor. By the time we reach the ground floor, we've won a small following of people. As soon as they see the Water guardians, the crowd already assembled there gathers around us. Kazuki is there, and when he sees us I think he's going to cry for a moment, but he keeps the tears in. A woman hurries towards Kusanagi.

"The ground shook terribly," she says, looking worried. "It seemed to have come from the underground." The boy beside her speaks up.

"Is the water alright?" he asks. Kusanagi hesitates, then looks behind him to Kurogane and I. I just nod imperceptibly, but the confidence in the ninja's eyes is palpable. There's no need to cause a panic if everything will be solved soon. I can't help a tinge of amusement when I realize that Kusanagi doesn't entirely trust the witch to keep her promise. It seems that no one can trust her. But he smiles down at the boy nonetheless.

"Yeah, it's fine," he says warmly. I hear many breathe a sigh of relief. Beside me, Kamui suddenly jumps. Frowning, he looks outside.

"Why right now…" he mutters, his eyes flashing amber. It's only then that I hear the low buzzing of engines over the downpour. Shadows appear in the distance, making their way towards the building.

"It's the guys from the Tower!" Kazuki exclaims in alarm. Quickly, the crowd disperses in all directions like frightened cattle. We stand with the guardians and Subaru but a little to the side, unsure of where to go if we don't stay and yet unwilling to get involved in something that doesn't concern us. I watch the newcomers approach warily. I'm not planning on interfering with this at all, but if they make one move towards us…

We've all suffered enough for one day.

The crew from the Tower stops a safe distance away, and I recognize Fuuma at their lead. He smiles, peering at us from over his glasses and swiftly pulls out something from underneath his cloak. I start as I recognize what's inside. But that's impossible…

"It seems the population has increased here," Fuuma pretends to notice teasingly, looking mostly at Syaoran and Subaru. I stare, wide-eyed, at what he holds in his gloved hand, unable to understand. If Mokona…

"That's Sakura's feather!" the fur-ball suddenly exclaims, as I unwittingly lunge forward. What is he doing with it? "But… but… why isn't Mokona going 'mekkyo'?" Fuuma smiles.

"Because it can't be sensed, right?" he says. It's as though this is amusing to him. I can't sense it either, but that was predictable: if even Mokona can't feel it, what chance do I have? With my broken magic…

"What do you mean?" the other Syaoran asks, cutting my train of thought.

"This feather can protect whatever is beside it," Fuuma answers helpfully. "But no matter how much I investigate, I still haven't been able to find the system behind it. Still, thanks to this," he lifts the glass container holding the feather, "even though the Tower's been hit by acid rain, it didn't fall." I don't understand what he's doing here: they obviously don't plan to attack, or he wouldn't be making polite conversation to Syaoran and Mokona. Then he looks to the Water guardians, his eyes piercing like a hawk's. "There was one like this at the Government building, right? But that one's gone." I can feel all of them tense around me, except for Kamui and Kakyou, who remain expressionless.

"Why would you think that?" Kamui asks calmly. Fuuma looks behind him, to his companions. The one I recognize to be Sorata-sensei's wife steps forward, stray locks of her straight, black hair cascading out of her hood.

"Just like there's someone who can see the future in dreams at the Government building, we have a priestess who can sense disasters," he explains. Yuuto has a harsh smile.

"If that's the case, then why did you come here with that feather in your hand?" he asks, probably expecting it to be a cruel taunt from the Tower's part. I personally don't care what they're doing here with the feather - but it's Sakura's, and in the end I know we'll get it back for her. We always do.

Fuuma steps forward, his face suddenly serious. "I'm here to make a transaction," he says, holding out the feather. "I'll hand over this feather to the Government building." I hear a few muffled gasps behind me, as well as a disgruntled exclamation. It seems hard to believe that the deal ends there.

"And in exchange?" Yuuto asks, wary. Fuuma looks back gravely.

"Please allow the people of the Tower to come here," he says. Beside me, Nataku sucks in a breath of surprise. I don't care what they do. "There's only a small amount of water left at the Tower. We can't preserve that for long," Fuuma explains. "And here you have water, but no feather." Nobody contradicts him on that last point. "So the Government building would supply the water, and the Tower would supply the feather."

"And we've been thinking," one of the men behind him says with an amiable smile, "that since the living space is bigger, wouldn't it make more sense for everyone to be living in the Government building? What do you think?" I don't look at his smile. It's too kind.

Fuuma steps closer, until he's under the ceiling with us and can take off his hood. "So how about it?" he asks, looking to everyone until his eyes settle on Kamui. "Kamui?" The boy steps back.

"I'm not the one who can decide this," he says gruffly, "because I'll be leaving soon." Fuuma's eyes widen in surprise, before he looks one more time at Subaru, and then his expression melts into a knowing smile. I can look at this one; it's not filled with joy or kindness, just cold amusement.

"I see…" he says, with the expression of one who knows more than he lets on. The guardians look at each other, confused as to who should take the responsibility of accepting or denying the request now that Kamui has backed away from leadership. I can see that they are taken aback by his announcement that he'll be leaving, as well. Finally, Kakyou steps forward.

"It's true that there was a feather here and it protected the Government building, but it's gone now," he says.

"And now the building's starting to collapse," Nataku sighs. Kusanagi nods.

"Even if we were to fight you for that feather, it would only unnecessarily increase the number of the wounded. Moreover…" he turns to Kamui. "Do you really plan to leave this country?"

"…yeah," he answers, almost as though he regrets it, or maybe feels guilty of leaving them alone. But only his voice gives me that impression; his eyes remain dark and impenetrable. Yuuto looks down thoughtfully.

"That will make winning against the Tower's side quite hard…" he muses. Several pairs of eyes look to Fuuma. It seems that Kamui was the only one who truly stood a chance against him. "It seems we have no choice but to accept…" Yuuto finally says.

"But that belongs to Sakura!" Mokona cries suddenly, making us all jump. So far I had watched their deliberations, not really caring of the outcome. I know we can always steal the feather like we did in Recort if we have to. Something else has stopped me from chipping in – probably the knowledge that this is very literally a matter of life and death to those people. I can't really bring myself to care about their water, or anything else for that matter, but I don't think I can live with any more lives on my hands. Besides, I know this should be Sakura's decision, not anyone else's.

"It's Sakura's precious, precious thing!" Mokona continues. I hear some stirring behind me and look back: the princess opens her eyes and tries to stand up feebly, while the other Syaoran lets her down with wide eyes, still supporting her. "We've been travelling searching for that!" Mokona goes on, unaware of this. Then he looks down sadly. "Although one of us is missing now…" I cross Sakura's gaze. For a moment we look at each other, and I can see that she's still confused – searching for familiar faces around her – but when she finds mine, her gaze quickly flies to the floor. I look away as well, pressing my lips together to keep them from trembling. Her face, together with Mokona's words, remind me too much of Syaoran. I still can't think of him. And for some reason, although I know it's unfair, I'm angry at him. He's the reason all this is happening.

"So please…" Mokona's voice reaches us again, much weaker than it was.

"Wait." It's Sakura, pushing herself away from the other Syaoran to stand on her own. She looks up to him sadly. "I'm fine," she says in a voice so low it could be a whisper. He observes her worriedly, his arms still close to her waist without touching her, in case she falls again. Her eyes widen slightly and she leans towards him like she's seen a ghost. He looks at her the same way, and for a moment their eyes remain intertwined before Sakura turns away suddenly with a chocked gasp, like she's been shocked. He just looks down sadly, without a word. Sakura closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. I don't know what happened between her and Syaoran before he left, and it's obvious she doesn't want to talk about it, but I can see how it's affected her. Of course, I realize, she loves him. I had thought so before without clearly putting it in words, but now the truth appears to me in its blatancy. Of course she does.

"Moko-chan, you still can't feel the feather?" she asks. The fur-ball shakes negatively.

"No," he answers softly. The princess closes her eyes again.

"If there was a feather here, this building and its people would be protected, right?" she asks, her voice almost emotionless.

"That's right," Fuuma says. She nods.

"Then leave the feather like this, in this country," she declares calmly. I see Kurogane's eyebrow lift in surprise, but neither of us say anything. I half-expected this answer from Sakura – after all, she's much too kind to leave hundreds of people to die.

"But, if we don't return the feather, then Sakura's memories won't return either!" Mokona protests. Sakura presses her hands together in front of her and opens her eyes. When she opens them again, I see that she is just like me – pushing away everything that might cause her to show her weakness.

"It's alright," she says, staring down determinedly, her lips pressed together. "It's alright," she whispers. The other Syaoran seems dumbfounded, but says nothing. This new Sakura seems nothing like the one I know. Just like everyone else, her eyes have grown harder. For the first time since I've known her, I think I am looking at a woman. This would probably sadden me any other time. I know how much it can hurt to loose your innocence.

I am disoriented by this knowledge of what my feelings should be, without their familiar touch tainting my view. It's like I've truly lost touch with my soul now, only watching over it like a spectator trying to guess its next move. I've become like a circus freak to my own consciousness.

"Well then," Kusanagi announces suddenly, "I guess there's just one more thing to take care of." Fuuma smiles.

"The water?" he asks teasingly. Everybody freezes.

"How…" Yuuto starts, but Fuuma laughs.

"Arashi saw that as well," he says, looking over to Sorata-sensei's wife, who has a small smile, "but she also saw you had a way to get it back. Is that so?" The guardians look at each other until Kusanagi shrugs.

"These two made a bargain with a witch to get our water back," he admits, pointing at Kurogane and me. Fuuma observes us with great interest and I coolly sustain his gaze, until Kurogane steps slightly in front of me with a menacing scowl. Fuuma smiles, seeming amused by this, like with everything else. I wonder if anything could ever faze this man. His eyes barely skim over Fai's limp body in Kurogane's arms, as though it was as normal as if the mage had been standing there, wide awake.

"Should we ask her to honour her part of the deal, then?" he asks, looking at Kurogane, and then at Kusanagi. But it's Mokona who answers.

"Mokona thinks we should go downstairs, to where the water is going to be," he says thoughtfully. "At least, that's what would be easier for Yuuko." Kurogane nods. Whichever way this witch plans on sending us the water, we had better be close to the underground reservoir, just to be sure we don't loose any.

"Alright then," Yuuto says, starting to walk towards the entrance of the basement. He hesitates a moment, then turns around and signals to the people from the Tower: "It's this way," he says. He seems wary of showing people - who, only minutes ago, were enemies intent on stealing it – the emplacement of their most precious resource. Most of the Water guardians seem to share his reserves, but as we make our way to the basement they relax. The Tower's people act friendly enough, especially Karen-Dayuu and Yuzuhira, who take an immediate liking to Kazuki. It seems theirs had been more of a rivalry than an open conflict, like I had thought at first.

Everywhere around us, stones begin to crumble with crashes and thuds of various intensity under the acid rain. A particularly loud noise makes most of the group jump.

"It's already collapsing at some places!" Yuzuhira exclaims in surprise.

"A bit, yes," Yuuto admits.

"But there's no hole opening, I've confirmed it!" Kazuki says confidently, with an expression better suiting someone twice his age. With a tender smile, Karen-Dayuu leans over to his level.

"What a relief!" she says sweetly, and the young boy blushes. I walk past them with Kurogane. I always stay close to the ninja; I don't know if it's my subconscious searching for a comfort I don't need, or if I'm doing so out of a protective reflex towards Fai. Or maybe it's just easier to let him guide my actions instead of trying to do it on my own, sleepy and cold. Pushing away your feelings has its advantages, but it's so hard to understand yourself afterwards. Maybe Nataku was right, when he called me a mutant and made it sound like I was barely human. It would sure fit me now anyhow.

Sakura is walking a little to the side, almost like she is trying to create an invisible gap between herself and the world. The other Syaoran trails after her protectively. He acts so much like Syaoran, sometimes I have to look deep into his eyes to remind me who he really is.

When we reach the stairs, I hesitate. I watch Yuzuhira and Kazuki walk into the door and disappear from my sight, swallowed up by the earth, and I still can't move. It's like I am watching myself, only hours ago, running down those same stairs with Syaoran, the weight of the earth crushing me while the rhythmic sound of our footsteps echoed around us and Fai breathing hard behind me, rushing to get to a feather we were never going to find… There are not as many ghosts here as there are upstairs, but I know it'll get worst. As soon as we get down there, memories will grip me. I dig my nails into my palms, but don't feel the sharp pain it usually brings, only a dull sting. I have to keep myself together. The past is gone. It can't touch me.

"You don't have to come," Kurogane suddenly says, looking down to the depths with me. I force myself to stay calm and shake my head. It's not because of my usual stupid apprehensions that I'm hesitating, but he can't know that. I have to stay strong for him.

"I'll be okay," I say softly, taking a deep breath and letting my foot touch the first step. I feel like I'm descending into hell. Every detail in the stone jumps into focus, each a reminder of the first time I went down those steps and the weight is there, heavier than ever, crushing my chest from every direction. My breaths get deeper, and the ice begins to crack. I feel that if I take one step more, I'll never be able to come back out. At the end of those stairs Syaoran is waiting for me with his ice cold eyes, and Fai is there as well, covered in new blood although he's right behind me on Kurogane's shoulder, and the water and lack of air and maelstrom of fire are all waiting for me, and this time I won't escape it, this time he'll really choke me or maybe he'll rip my eye straight out of its socket and let me bleed to death. I wonder how it would feel to die that way. The way Fai wanted to die... I close my eyes and hesitate again, shaking, but the familiar presence of Kurogane behind me forces me to go forward. More than once I nearly lose my composure and turn back, but always he is there, never stopping to allow me to rest or hesitate, or think too much about taking the next step. If he hadn't been there, I never would have reached the basement, and I probably would have broken down into tears. It's like I'm walking through a memory: so many things I'll live to regret, done only a few hours ago and already too late to amend. Things I already regret. The past is everywhere here, attacking me from all sides and trying to make me break. When I make it I feel full of spiderweb cracks, but I'm still holding together. I turn to Kurogane and nod thankfully. It's all I can manage.

"Is it alright here?" I suddenly hear the witch's voice in the underground reservoir and turn towards the sound.

"Yeah," Mokona answers. The circle of light from the fur-ball's jewel has appeared again, and Yuuko is looking around the room with a critical eye. The reservoir seems abandoned, empty, the dry crater a giant's fist pounded in anger, just like the one upstairs in our tenth floor room. Finally, she nods.

"Mokona," she calls behind her, and a small, high-pitched voice answers "Yup!" It must be the other Mokona I've heard about, the black one who stayed with Yuuko. Our Mokona opens his mouth, and out pours a perfectly spherical jug of clear water. About a dozen identical jugs follow, their contents sloshing with glee as they hit each other with bell-like sounds. Their voice is just as pure, ringing like crystal in the silence. The Water guardians and people from the Tower watch this happen with wide eyes, completely oblivious to the water's song.

"How can so much come out of its mouth?" Kazuki exclaims. I look down at the jugs and then back to Mokona, but no more comes out. There won't be enough to fill the entire reservoir with only this. My eyes drift to Yuuko, but she's not looking at me.

"Open the bottles," she tells the others, and several of them hastily grab the jugs of crystal-clear liquid and start fiddling with the caps. Even I jump in surprise when the first cap pops like a gunshot, unleashing a torrent of water so strong it forces the person holding the jug to step back. One by one, the jugs burst open and soon thirteen fountains are pouring into the reservoir, splashing and gurgling like a stream. As the basin is filled with water its voice gets deeper, and the familiar pattern of waves and ripples starts to appear underneath the splattering. There seems to be no end to the water coming out of the jugs, and I watch for several minutes as the Water guardians struggle to keep control of the enormous amount of pressure shooting out into the reservoir. At last, when it appears the basin can hold no more, the bottles start to empty. When the constant flow finally dies down, Yuzuriha looks down to the jug in her hands with disbelief.

"How come the amounts of water don't match?" she asks to no one in particular. I look to Yuuko, but it seems obvious she has no intention to answer that question. After all, she gave us the amount of water we requested; she's not obligated to do anything after that. Except requiring a price, of course.

"This water is unclean, in a way. It still has a natural power that comes from not being sterilized. That power is very strong," she explains to the people assembled here as the water's flow calms to its natural song. Now that I think about it, I can hear another dimension to this water's voice, something I don't think I've heard since the river in Jade. A deeper, wilder baseline. "That said," the witch continues, "if you allow it to become contaminated again, this world will return to what it was in the past. Before this water disappears, you have to mend the structure of the world itself." She looks at them all gravely. "The rest is up to you." There's a moment of silence, as they all seem to contemplate the meaning of her words. Yuzuriha looks down to her empty jug once more.

"But what kind of structure should that be?" she asks softly. I don't care. I turn away pointedly from the reservoir. None of this concerns me anymore. I've helped them get back what has taken so much away from me, and I have yet to pay the price for it. Even Sakura will help them keep their precious water at the price of her memories. I think we've done our part.

I wish I could give my memories away to help them. It doesn't matter if it helps them or not, I would do it. I just want them out of my head.

"Anyways, what will become of the container holding that feather?" a voice asks suddenly. I turn to see Fuuma holding up Sakura's feather. I had almost forgotten about him.

Kamui looks to him. "There's no magic in this world," he says gravely. "There's no need to make a mechanism to protect that thing. You couldn't even make one if you tried." Fuuma chuckles.

"True," he concedes. "This thing doesn't belong in this world. Because it's something I brought with me from another dimension, four years ago." I can't help but frown at these words. It's the first time anyone here mentions the existence of other worlds. It seems travelling between dimensions isn't as difficult or uncommon as I first thought it was. With a smile, Fuuma turns to Yuuko's image. "Good afternoon, Yuuko-san," he says cordially, puzzling me further. "What time is it over there?"

"It'll be evening soon," she replies casually. He nods.

"Good evening then. I couldn't find a way to communicate since I entered this world, it was very neglectful of me," he seems to apologize. Kurogane's eyes narrow into slits, and he shoots Yuuko a barely disguised glare.

"So he's one of your acquaintances as well," he simply states. Fuuma smiles innocently.

"I'm a newcomer among Yuuko-san's clients," he admits. I notice that Kamui has backed up closer to his brother, whose eyes have grown huge at Fuuma's words. Yuuko doesn't seem to notice our various reactions to that announcement as she turns back to Fuuma.

"Is that container also something you've been searching?" she asks. He smiles.

"Yes. Because it's my job." He turns to us to explain. "I'm a hunter," he says. "A hunter of all the worlds, a hunter of precious things. I can be hired, or just search for something I want for myself." His eyes fall on Kamui and Subaru and his smile widens. "Even though we're both hunters, my brother and I have been searching for different things." At those words, Kamui tenses. Fuuma ignores this and instead looks at Subaru. "Subaru-san, isn't it? My brother is indebted to you." So fast that I don't see it, Kamui lunges forward. The next thing I can make out is Fuuma's misty glasses falling to the floor, covered in blood from the two deep gashes on his cheek. And he's still smiling.

Kamui's eyes are now shining in amber as he crouches in front of Subaru, licking the dripping blood from his newly grown claws. I'm barely surprised when I see them; after all, I still bear the mark of Fai's own claws on my arms.

"You're the younger brother of that hunter?" he snarls. Subaru seems shocked, and I'm not sure if it's because of his brother's behaviour or Fuuma's revelation.

The later chuckles. "While traveling through the dimensions, we both happened on the same world, and that's when I learned of the vampire twins," he explains, this time somewhat more serious. "They were supposed to always be together, but there was only one… I wondered if maybe you had met him." Kamui's eyes flash dangerously again. He lashes in front of him, but instead of aiming for Fuuma, his claws strike at the stone floor between them. The stone shatters, under and around the hunter, jumping up to hit him while he shields himself with his arms. I have to back away to avoid a wayward rock. Mokona is sent flying, and I catch him instinctively. Suddenly, a thin rope seems to extend from Fuuma's hand and flies towards Kamui, wrapping itself gracefully around his arms and binding him. I notice the tiny arrow-shaped weight at its end, which enables it to spin without stopping.

"Kamui!" Subaru yells in alarm as Fuuma yanks on the string to pull the vampire closer. He wraps one arm around the boy's body to keep him from escaping, and slowly leans in towards Kamui's ear.

"Just like my brother said," he says softly, but loud enough for all to hear, "you really are strong, Kamui." Grinding his teeth, the vampire boy struggles, but it's no use. His face pale and his eyes now a threatening amber, Subaru extends one arm to his side. With a soft velvet sound, his claws come out. Fuuma smiles. "But he said that when angered, Subaru-san is scary too," he adds, sounding strangely pleased, like a child tormenting wild animals just to see them react.

"Please let go of Kamui-san," Subaru orders with a calmness that fools no one.

"Of course," Fuuma answers gladly. The rope quickly retreats back into his sleeve, and Kamui jumps back in front of his brother, glaring fiercely.

"You two brothers, you've been causing nothing but trouble since long," Yuuko sighs, looking at Fuuma. I frown. I can't help but feel there's something I should know, something I should have noticed about this episode…

"… _I am searching for the vampire twins…"_

"_Is your name Subaru?"_

"_Such a beautiful songbird…"_

"_I think he's the one who taught me how to fight…"_

"…_their most beautiful song…"_

"_A mysterious man who can control the oni…"_

"…_escapes them as they die."_

"_You've been dealing with the witch as well?"_

"…_vampire twins…"_

"_For the sake of finding those two…"_

"_You killed him!"_

"_Is your name…? … your name…?"_

"Seishiro?" I blurt out, my eyes wide, my heart pounding. I'm not looking at anyone in particular, I'm staring at the ground even, but it doesn't matter. In my numbed veins is flowing the warm fire of hate, melting the strange and unfamiliar ice around me, but powerful enough to form a barrier between me and my tears. If Seishiro is involved in this too… I'm going to kill him. That's all I can think about until the hate dulls down, as quickly as it came.

"So you're involved with him too!" Kamui exclaims, suddenly lunging towards me. I see him from the corner of my eye. Immediately, my entire body snaps to attention as though from a physical shock, still shaking from the memory of my hate, my sweet, sweet, liberating hate…

"Kamui!" Subaru calls, and I can see Kurogane move towards us, but they don't have time to do anything. Kamui is already on me. His claws reach for my face, my heart is pounding and screaming and crying, hate is flowing through my veins, and something just snaps.

I grab his hand before his claws reach my cheeks, and viciously twist his wrist until his back is to me, lock his arm behind him and push sideways. He screams, then squeezes out of my grip and turns around, his claws slashing horizontally. I jump back, but they still catch my side, leaving thin red lines on my skin. I duck under his next blow, but barely, then try to kick him but he is already gone somewhere behind me, and I turn as swiftly as I can, just fast enough to see the gleam of his claws and shield my face. He catches on to my arms, cutting open the wounds that had begun to close and pouring fresh blood on the ground. An exclamation of pain reaches my lips, and I retaliate by kicking him in the stomach but he dodges my blow, dancing just out of my reach for an instant. Hissing in pain, I grab my whip. Kamui's eyes flash dangerously at the weapon so similar to Fuuma's, then lunges towards me again. This time, I am ready. There is nothing but fighting, nothing but hate in this new, small world, and I like it. Physical pain is so much better than feeling nothing at all.

Something grabs at my cloak suddenly, pulling me back into the bigger world of doubts and responsibilities before I can fully realize what is happening, and I struggle while a booming voice orders "Stop it! Both of you!" I freeze. It's Kurogane's voice, and he's angry. Subaru is holding his brother back by the arm, Kurogane is pulling so tightly on my cloak that he's chocking me. I have to back up until I am next to him if I want to breathe. "Listen, we don't like that guy any more than you do, so cut the crap!" his voice says. That exclamation finishes to send me hurtling back to the real world, trembling. Shit. Oh shit. A wave of pain washes through me, soon followed by a wall of ice, and I am cold again. Cold but safe. I'm scared. I can't even recognize myself.

Sakura is watching us with worry, shielded by the other Syaoran's body. He looks upon us warily, and even sends me a warning glance before becoming troubled and looking down to the floor. Kurogane's eyes are throwing knives at Kamui, and when I glance at him he looks at me with the same expression. He softens a little, but I can tell that he was scared. Scared of what exactly, I don't know, but scared of something.

I look to Kamui and he glares at me, but his claws retract back into his fingers and he shifts out of his fighting stance. Subaru whispers something to him and he looks down, almost sheepishly, although I know he isn't sorry. If anything, he's sad to have disappointed his brother. He doesn't care about me.

The world is silent for what seems like an eternity before Fuuma finally speaks. He turns to Yuuko with a smile, gesturing towards me and Kamui as proof.

"_Surely_ you must mean my elder brother," he says. She lifts an eyebrow.

"You as well," she replies. He chuckles.

"Seishiro-niisan hasn't made it to this world yet, so why don't we finish our business here in Tokyo?" he offers. Another silence before Yuuko nods, continuing the conversation they have started while tacitly agreeing to ignore the fight that nearly degenerated in front of their eyes.

"Very well," she says, then looks at Kurogane and I. "You two, the price for the water." I nod without a word.

"Yeah," says Kurogane. Her eyes probe us, almost like she's trying to guess our thoughts.

"I want both of you to do something for me," she says slowly, making us wait. I take a deep breath. She should just get on with it. Syaoran's voice suddenly rings through the underground.

"I will…!"

"I will do it." I start at the sound of that voice, saying those words, those words who sounds so innocuous but who are so heavy with meaning and should have never been spoken by those lips, because I know what she's trying to do and I don't want her to succeed but I know that nobody will dare try to stop her, not even me…

"Sakura!" Somebody calls her name in surprise, and I'm not sure who it is but it might be me. I turn to her and see her eyes, cold and determined, and I know that no one will stop her. Even though it's not her price to pay. Because she won't listen.

"In this world," she starts, "I've been sleeping most of the time and I wasn't able to do anything. So I will do it." I can almost hear the pain in her voice. Beside me, Kurogane has tensed. But he knows as well as I do that we will let her go on. Even the other Syaoran is staring at her, bewildered, as though he would have never expected that of her. As though he knows her.

She looks back at us with an unwavering gaze. "Please," she says softly, "tell me. Everything that happened until now." All I can do is stare at the beautiful young girl who has just become a woman before my eyes. I realize that Sakura has never asked for much. A favour here, a trinket there, all things that we never thought twice about and were happy to give. And now, as she asks for this thing I would have never wished to push on her, I realize that in all this time, we have never been able to say no.

XxX

We tell her everything. From the moment she fell asleep in the Central Library to the moment she woke up under the water.

We find a place on the ground floor where the stones have collapsed to form an almost perfect circle, a natural pit. We sit around it like an assembly of jolly campers, except that there is no campfire to light our faces in the dim light, and our little gathering is all save happy.

With Fai sleeping on a makeshift bed beside me, I tell the others how we left to hunt, how we came back because Mokona had sensed a feather, and ran downstairs before it disappeared, and how Syaoran jumped in and never came back out. I don't tell them about Fai's expression when that strange ripple occurred, because now of course I know that ripple was Syaoran's heart breaking apart from him. I don't mention the cloud of crimson blood floating up to us. I don't say how the world was pure chaos and how Fai told Kusanagi to keep me from jumping in and how I was crying because I was afraid they were both going to die. There's no need for those things to ever be spoken of again.

I don't like speaking. My throat feels parched and very much like an open sore every time I open my mouth. And yet I hear my voice like in a dream, so steady and calm and so unnatural in those broken surroundings. And it speaks of things that seem so far away although I know they happened only hours ago, but not to me. Not to me, not to me, not to us. Or else my shield will break and so will I.

Kurogane briefly talks about when we were away, how Sakura suddenly stopped breathing and while he yelled for a doctor Kakyou stepped in the room and told him Sakura was only asleep. When he protested, the man said that it was her soul who was asleep, as it had rejoined the part of itself floating in the water. He ran downstairs, but her body disappeared before he reached the last step, joining its soul. Subaru chips in and explains that this was his fault, as he was the one to unwittingly draw Sakura into the sleep induced by the feathers.

There were two, he says. Sakura absorbed one as soon as her soul fell into its sleep, and Syaoran gave her the second one, freeing Subaru at the same time. Two feathers protecting the Government building and now they're both gone, and the only one left in this world is still being held by Fuuma like he's afraid we'll steal it from him.

We relay each other about what comes next. I don't speak very often, but fill in the blanks when someone else doesn't quite remember what happened and in which order, who said what and when and why. Nobody delves into much detail, but we do get the essentials across.

We barely speak of Syaoran's change, if only to let the other Syaoran tell us what we already know in a voice that is both remorseful and distant. Sakura's expression doesn't change. It's like she's not even listening.

When we get to Fai, nobody is willing to speak anymore. I let Kurogane explain the deal with the witch in two quick, bare sentences, and we leave it at that. She doesn't ask any questions but her eyes are probing. I unconsciously reach for Fai's hand, but pull away suddenly like I've been burnt. He hates me. It's not just because he's asleep that I can forget it. I swallow with a small sobbing sound, but it only deepens the pain in my throat. I can be this close to him, but I won't be allowed to touch him anymore. I have to get used to it.

The rain eventually stops, replaced by dark, clouded skies. A foul wind blows the smell of acid and burning towards us, and soon those of us who wear cloaks have wrapped themselves in them to protect our bodies from the cold. By the time we are done talking, the sky has become dark blue and I am shivering despite my cloak. It's not just the cold from the wind anymore. It's the cold that seems to have permanently taken residence in my heart.

A long silence follows, eerie after so much talking, and yet no one seems to think of something better to do. There's nothing left to say that can be said aloud. None of us have told the whole story, but we don't point it out from shame of being guilty of the same thing. Sakura sits straight, her eyes closed and her breathing slow, her hands joined in front of her like in meditation. Finally, her eyelids flutter open.

"I understand," she says softly, looking to each of us in turn. There is me and Kurogane, of course, and Fai sleeping between us, the other Syaoran with Mokona, the Dimensions witch in her circle, and Kamui and Subaru, Fuuma, Kusanagi and Yuuto. She nods to the others. "I appreciate everything you've done for us." Her gaze lingers on Subaru and she avoids the other Syaoran altogether. Then she turns to Yuuko. "I'm ready to learn about the price now," she says. "What shall I do?" I look at the witch. I dare her to say no. To say sorry, but it is not your bargain, your price to pay, these things are not exchangeable, anything to keep her here and safe. I instinctively know that the price for so much water will not be easy to pay. And I have the feeling that it involves venturing off into the desert. If the witch wanted us to do something here, would it not already be obvious?

But she doesn't say no. She steadily sustains my gaze, almost as though she's telling me: _"You've twisted the laws of the price yourself. Now let her do the same." _And she looks back to Sakura. Calmly, in front of everyone like she just wants to turn the knife in the wound, she speaks.

"There is a place, due south from here, where you will find a small pond. In the center of that pond there is a chalice that has been naturally carved by acid rains. I want you to bring me what is inside of that chalice." Sakura nods while I wait for the rest. That can't be it. It's too easy. "The journey will be long. You will leave as soon as possible, and you will go alone. If any help is given to you, the price will be considered void." I muffle a scream of indignation, and instead dig my nails into my upper arms and look off into the distance. Kurogane growls softly in spite, but we both know we can't do anything. We won't do anything. Because Sakura asked.

"I will do it," the princess answers determinedly. Kusanagi shakes his head.

"This is madness," he says. "She hasn't even gone in the desert yet at all, even alone with others and in broad daylight. She wouldn't know how to survive out there now that night is falling!" He looks to Kurogane and me for help, obviously expecting us to support him, but we say nothing.

"She won't listen even if it's true," Kurogane finally grunts. I see Sakura look down, almost as though in shame, but her attitude doesn't waver. I sigh. I know we have no choice. Because we're idiots and we're weak.

"It is the price for your water," Yuuko reminds Kusanagi, who doesn't say another word. Finally, I stand up.

"If you're going to go, we have to get you some equipment," I decide coolly. Sakura nods, seemingly thankful that I'm not trying to stop her. She has no idea how much I want to.

Fuuma laughs. "Well said! We might as well make sure she can get through it on her own if we're not allowed to help." I look to Yuuko, fearful that this type of help will fall into the forbidden category, but she doesn't react to our decision. "First things first, clothing right?" Fuuma begins to count on his fingers. "You could borrow my hoverbike, that would make the traveling easier. Food rations, just in case, and-"

"A gun," I hear myself say, then frown and bring a hand to my throat. But there's no mistaking it, it wasn't Mokona. I look to Sakura, whose eyes have grown a little wide at the mention of a weapon. I realize that I've scared her, but not nearly enough to drive her back. "You'll need it," is all I say. She hasn't seen those worm-monsters and I'm sure they're not the only things out there. The only way for her not to be a sitting duck out there is to have a weapon and not be afraid to use it. Kurogane frowns down at me and I know I was probably harsh, but he can't say that anything I said isn't true. He hasn't seen those things either. To my surprise, the other Syaoran just nods.

"Yes, that's right," Fuuma agrees, nodding, as though a line hasn't just been crossed. Between the innocent and the brutal, between what was and what is. I would have never offered Sakura any kind of weapon before this. But if she wants to do this sort of thing, she'll have to get used to some things. She'll have to learn to live in this world now.

"Is that alright?" Kusanagi asks Sakura once Fuuma finishes his list. She nods.

"Thank you," she says. The next few minutes are a blur.

They go find some clothes for Sakura to wear, and I give her my rainproof cloak because they can't find one they can spare. Fuuma offers her a crash-course on how to manoeuvre a hoverbike. He points to a compass on the handle.

"This compass will point you to what you seek," he tells her. I put some dry rations in her small pack, and one of the Tower's compact guns, but no medicine or bandages because they can't spare the ones they have here.

"Just make sure to come back so we can patch you up," I say, although I'm not sure if I'm attempting a joke out of habit or being deathly serious. Kurogane and the other Syaoran watch us with what I can only see as a bit of reproach in their eyes, but I don't care. They can't stop her anymore than I can, and at least I'm making sure she has every chance to make it back here. Not unharmed, that would be too much to ask. But alive.

"Yuuko!" Mokona suddenly cries. "The rain in this country really hurts! And there are big creatures too, it's really dangerous alone!" The witch remains unfazed.

"And that is why it will become the price," she replies. I don't let the thoughts of danger grow too close to me; I don't let myself believe that Sakura may simply not come back. The thought alone would paralyse me.

"I'm ready," she finally announces, proud and straight in her protective clothing and rainproof cloak, her eyes gleaming bright with determination. I shake my head. I don't know why she's doing this. I don't know what she wants to prove. The price is too great to pay should she fail. Is this what it is? Water for a service, and if she doesn't make it, just exchange it for her life?

I hate this. I hate Yuuko for this price, and I hate myself for letting her go. Whichever way you look at it, it all comes back to me.

The other Syaoran takes a step towards her, almost like he wants to stop her but doesn't dare speak. Sakura looks down sadly, still not looking at him directly. He seems to notice this and frowns.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, her eyes locked on the bandage at his thigh. He perks up, surprised that she's speaking to him.

"Eh?"

"If I hadn't yelled 'Stop it!,' maybe you wouldn't have been hurt," she explains in a whisper. He starts shaking his head, but she's still not looking at him. "You should rest now," she says, suddenly handing Mokona to him. "Mokona should rest too," she adds, petting the fur-ball. Then she turns towards me and Kurogane. "Aisha, Kurogane-san, please get your wounds treated. And rest." She sends us both a grave look. "And please take care of Fai-san." I nod. That I will do.

Kurogane sighs. "Whatever we say, you probably won't listen," he says, looking down at her. "So go and come back. We'll be here until your return." He doesn't let himself believe that she could not come back, either. We both know. We both understand that it is not a time for thinking about the worst.

She takes a deep breath. When her eyes open, she is determined.

"Yes!" she exclaims, and bravely turns towards her hoverbike. We watch her leave in silence, the only noise that of the small engine propelling her forward into the dark night. It's not raining anymore. If she's lucky, it will hold that way.

If she's lucky…

I grit my teeth together and force the thought out of my mind. It's not going to happen. Not Sakura too. It's not…

I turn to Yuuko. "If she's not back by morning, I will find you," I promise between clenched teeth, just this once letting the hate flow through me. "And you will pay." She looks back at me calmly, then nods in understanding. Her magic circle trembles then disappears. My whole body goes limp. I look out once more to the vanishing shape of Sakura in the night and let myself fall to the ground, still staring. She's coming back.

"She's coming back," I whisper, and everyone nods convincingly. After all, hope is all we have left.

XxX

We don't speak a word. I look to the horizon, I look at Fai, and nothing happens. Slowly the silence gains weight and presses, presses hard against my chest like ten thousand pounds of earth above my head. My head is pounding and I want to sleep but I won't let myself close my eyes. It's getting harder and harder not to think. I concentrate on one of the scabs forming on my arm and start digging it up with my nail. I frown as it peels up, like a snake scale on my upper arm, pulling my skin with it. My wounds don't really hurt anymore, although I have to admit that I have puncture wounds on my upper arms, which should probably get checked before they get infected. The memory of Fai's claws growing into my flesh makes me wince. I deserved that. I brush my thumb against one of the wounds. And yet, that he would be able to do this… I look to his sleeping form on the makeshift bed. From my vantage point, I can only see the steady rising and falling of his chest when he breathes. I never want him to wake up. I don't want to have to face him after what I did.

I'm thinking again, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, no, no, no… I close my eyes and bite my lip. I promised myself I wouldn't think. Not until I was alone and there was no danger of showing others my weakness. Especially not in front of Kurogane. He's just beside me, looking out into the desert like I am. I have to stay strong for him. He's strong, but he's shaken. He might not hold if I become a burden too. So I won't be.

I viciously attack another scab, pulling so hard on it that I can't help a hiss of pain. Drops of blood surge at the newly exposed wound. I can tell the wounds which came from Kamui and the ones given by Fai. Neither of us has asked for treatment, despite Sakura's request; we haven't seen Satsuki for hours, for one, and the low amount of medicine here keeps haunting me. When Sakura comes back, she is sure to be hurt, and more badly than any of us are. She'll need it more than us.

I am still holding on fiercely to my choice of words, the _when_ instead of _if_. Sakura is coming back. Still, waiting here without doing anything, with no guarantee whatsoever, is killing me. I want to scream. Kurogane sighs and shifts his weight from one leg to another before settling again. The other Syaoran is pacing endlessly, Mokona on his shoulder. Everyone else is gone. It's just us, waiting. I wish I could be out there with her now, fighting off the cold and the night, the worm monsters and whatever else we might find. Anything would be easier than waiting here and hoping, without knowing. Could this be a part of the price then? I look up to Kurogane, observe his stark profile cutting the night sky as his eyes search the horizon determinedly for any sign of the princess's return. Could this explain the strange glances Yuuko sent me when she described her task to Sakura? Is this our price for the water? The reason she forbade any help be given to the princess? Did she know Sakura would offer herself and we would be unable to refuse, making everything so much harder? _Do we all have to pay for this goddamned water?_

I wince and attack my scabs, aware that I'm thinking again. I can't do that now. Not yet.

Time passes. The other Syaoran's pacing is making me so dizzy that I can't look at him anymore. The horizon is discouraging. I stare in front of me. Fai's breathing is regular, strangely soothing. I feel myself hypnotized by the slow motion of it, just up, down, peacefully, breath in and out, nothing's wrong, nothing's wrong, close your eyes and sleep, sleep just like him, you'll feel much better afterwards…

I gasp and shake my head, then groan and bend over with nausea. I can't sleep, I can't sleep, I can't… I won't let myself sleep until this is all over. I have to be here when Sakura comes back. When, not if. And also…

I don't have the right to make this price more bearable, do I, if it really is mine to pay? I have to suffer through it. That's the whole point.

But I'm going to burst if I keep pushing away my thoughts, and then drown if I fail. I need to find something to do, anything, a distraction to keep me awake and superficially interested, just enough to give my mind the impression that is isn't being suppressed. Talking to Kurogane is not an option; he won't talk to begin with, and not about the things I want to speak of. He'll cut straight to the chase and force me out of my shell before I'll have the time to realize what he's doing. With a sigh, I stand up and walk out from under the ceiling.

"Is your name really Syaoran?" The boy's head snaps in my direction, and he observes me with wide eyes. I sit on a rock and bring my knees to my chest. I'm still listening to Fai's breathing behind us, calm and peaceful. It's the first question I could think of. The first safe question.

He steps closer, almost hesitantly. "Yes, that's my name."

"Just Syaoran?"

"Li Syaoran," he admits, sitting on a rock not far from mine. I nod. Another difference to remember and cherish.

"So… Li-kun?" I ask, testing the name on my tongue. I don't really like it, but my mind is churning ferociously to find something to call him that isn't the same, that won't remind me of Syaoran every time I think of him. I can't keep calling him 'the other Syaoran'.

His eyes widen again, and then his features settle in a small, forced smile. He looks away. "Yes, that would be fine," he whispers, but I can't help but notice that I've hurt him. I frown and rub my cheek with my hand, feeling the dried blood loosen and peel off.

"Can I call you Syaoran-kun?" I ask before I realize it, and stop breathing suddenly. No, that won't do. I can't call him that.

He stops breathing for a second as well. "I… um, y-yes, Aisha-chan," he stutters, completely taken aback. I gasp. My name, slipped so casually at the end of his sentence like a word he has said a thousand times before. No, this subject is not safe. He can't say my name like that, with that voice, without any hesitation although he shouldn't even know it. And I can't call him by that name, because then… because…

He is not _Syaoran. _

I bend forward with a grunt, sudden nausea dizzying me. I can feel him lean over like in concern, his fingers nearly catching my shoulders before retreating as fast as they came, leaving me completely alone until the wave subsides.

"Li-kun is fine, really," he says hurriedly as I straighten, a hand on my chest as though to push down the sickness. I shake my head.

"It's not that," I say, but I know it's not entirely true. There's a bitter taste in my mouth that refuses to disappear. I'm being selfish. He is not Syaoran, but that is his name. I should call him by his name. It's the least I could do. But that's not what shocked me the most.

Not my name, but the _way_ he said it. His voice, it wasn't the shy intonation of a stranger testing your name to make sure it flows well on his tongue; I don't think he even meant to say it. It just rolled off his tongue and out his mouth before he realized it, just the way Syaoran would say it. The very same…

I turn to him and plunge my eyes in his, searching for that shadow in the back of his irises, that one thing that separates him from Syaoran. I need to see it, right now, because I need to make myself understand, once and for all, that he is not _him_. He inches away, taken aback, but I relax a little. I've seen it. I peer into his eyes just a few more seconds, let that knowledge wash over me until there's no denying it anymore. I take a deep breath and look away, no longer pinning him down under my gaze. My arms find their way around my legs.

"I'll call you Syaoran-kun," I decide. I feel strangely relieved, but empty. He is not Syaoran, but that also means the boy is truly gone. My fingers pluck at my scabs.

"Are you…?" he starts, but I cut him off. I don't want to answer his questions. His voice saying my name brought me too close to my breaking point; I need to regroup. But I also know now that no conversation with Syaoran-kun can be safe, not if I want to understand all of this. So he will tell me and I will listen. On my terms.

"Just explain it to me," I say. "Tell me who you are, and how you fit in all of this. And tell me how you can say my name like that." My voice quivers, and I bite my lip. Suddenly I'm very aware of Kurogane behind us, and I know he's listening. I want him to listen, because I'm asking these questions for him as much as for me. "Please," I add. "Just speak." I want to be able to listen to his voice and get lost in it, without having to think or reason or do anything. He looks at me, puzzled, before staring at his feet.

"Alright," he says softly. "You have the right to know, after all." He pauses for a second, visibly searching for his words. "I was captured by a man named Fei Wong Reed many years ago. He wanted… he made a copy of me. It was meant to be a soulless shell, but at the last second I was able to give him part of my heart. I placed a seal on it so it wouldn't escape him, but…" his shoulders slump forward and his mouth tightens, "no magic can last forever. I knew that. But I thought that maybe… as time went by, as he met people and formed bonds with them, a heart of his own might stem from my borrowed heart. I told myself I would hope for that. And that if the seal broke and I found him, and he was nothing more than a shell, I would kill him." I swallow, feeling nauseous. He can't be talking about _our_… I remember the bloodstained fingers and the frozen eyes and shudder. Yes. Yes, I guess he is. "That was the Syaoran that you knew," he continues softly, almost painfully. "For the past years, as I've been held captive, all I could do was watch through this eye. I saw everything." His hand distractedly brushes against his right eye. "That's how I knew your name, and why I said it like that. I'm very sorry." He pauses, and then adds in a painful whisper, "That's how _he_ used to say it." A drop of blood falls on the sand as I dig deeper into one of my wounds. I already suspected half of this, but to have it confirmed is a whole other matter. And I had no idea for the eye. So that's why he seemed to know us. He was stealing Syaoran's sight. I close my eyes and let the pain and nausea erase everything else.

"So… you really saw everything?" I ask. He nods.

"I won't do it again," he says. "I promise. I'll find something else to call you." I frown and concentrate on my wounds. The world starts to shift under me; the nausea's just getting worst. I can feel it in my throat now, pushing up…

"Is Aisha alright?" Mokona's voice startles me. I jump, looking down at the fur-ball nestled in Syaoran-kun's neck. He looks back at me, shaking. I take a deep breath. Slowly, I nod.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I say, suddenly realizing how close I was to breaking. My armour is wearing thinner as the hours go by, but it has to hold. Just a bit longer, until I'm alone. Then I'll let myself break.

Mokona speaks again. "I think it must have been very lonely for Syaoran all these years. I think, maybe Syaoran wished he were travelling with all of us. It must have been so lonely…" I look down. To be unable to do anything but watch for years… yes, that would have been very lonely indeed. I nod to myself, but I already know what I'm going to say. Even if it might hurt me. Because he shouldn't be lonely anymore.

"If you want to call me something else," I say softly, "call me Aisha." I glance at him. His eyes are wide and his breath short, and he's staring at me like he's never seen me before, although now I know he hasn't. He's been watching for so long, without any of us knowing. Under my eyes, he starts to panic.

"No, I can't," he says nervously, shaking his head. "_He _didn't call you like that, so I have no right, I can't, _he_ refused…"

"But you're not him, are you?" I reply, my voice breaking near the end. He freezes. I look at him calmly, surprising even myself. "It's my name," I say. "Just call me by my name." His lip starts to shake, and he shakes his head. I frown and look away. I don't know why I feel hurt that he refuses my offer. My eyes wander to the bloodstained bandage on his thigh, and I remember him limping up the stairs with a sword as a cane. "Is it painful?" I ask, pointing towards it with my chin. He seems relieved that the conversation has shifted.

"No it's not, I'm fine," he says, shaking his head with a small but reassuring smile. I look into his eyes. If it weren't for the shadow, they would be the same as his.

"You're lying," I state simply. The very same look as Syaoran. "You're hiding your pain." I observe the wound again. "It went straight through, didn't it?" He looks away sheepishly.

"I… yes," he admits.

"How much does it hurt?" I ask. He shakes his head.

"It's tolerable." But this time he isn't lying. I look away, in shame as well at not having noticed this injury before. I don't ask to check it out. There's nothing more I could do now, unless I heal him magically, but I don't want to try. I'm too afraid it won't work again. Or worst, if it works for him where it didn't work for Fai…

He seems confused as to how to react. "Ah… how are your injuries?" he asks. I shrug.

"I barely feel them anymore," I answer, which is true. Only the marks of Fai's claws still sting, but that is because I allow them to. Because I want to keep a reminder in the back of my head.

I hear the change in his breathing before I turn around, alerted by the difference in the night. In the darkness of the building, Fai is awakening. Syaoran-kun falls silent when I move, probably sensing what is happening. I see Fai sit up on his makeshift bed, slowly, almost like every muscle in his body hurts. He stays like this, head bowed for a few seconds, until he looks up to where Kurogane is. I can't see his eyes.

"Good morning, Kurogane," he says cheerfully. My heart started bouncing with hope at the sound of his voice, but stops abruptly at the last word. Kurogane. He called him Kurogane. He's never called him like that before, not even once.

I see the ninja's eyes widen, then look down in resignation.

"Don't move," he orders as Fai swings his legs over the edge of the bed.

"I'm not going to run away," the mage laughs, but there's something so incredibly fake about it I want to cry. Ignoring his words, Kurogane throws him a cloak.

"Don't move yet," he repeats, then walks towards us. Fai's eye follows him, and finds me. I start shaking, although I thought I wasn't cold. I don't want him to speak to me. I want to keep believing I dreamed it all. He smiles brightly, but there's a chill in his blue eye, like it too has turned to ice.

"Hello, Kazumi-san," he says. I can't help but gasp. His words hit me like as many knives, digging deep into my soul as I desperately try to keep my armour up. I can't show him how it hurts. He can't know… I gasp again, like a fish out of water.

He called me Kazumi-san. By my surname!

Tears prick at my eyes. No matter how many things he's called me before, he's never hurt me like this. We saved his life and he treats us like complete strangers. Even worst than strangers. Like people he would rather never see again.

I wasn't expecting this. I could have handled animosity on his part, maybe anger or complete silence. But not this crystal wall he's just built between us with those three little words, severing everything we've ever said or done together. It's as clear a warning as he could give us. The Fai I knew wants nothing to do with me anymore, and I have bound him to me against his will. I look down to the incision Kamui has drawn on the inside of my wrist, see again the blood flowing from the wound. If he didn't have enough, one more reason to hate me. I've hurt him, and then forced him to stay with me. Anybody would hate me for that. My fingers brush at where his nails cut my skin. I deserved that. I deserved much more than that, for what I've done.

Silently, Mokona leaps off Syaoran-kun's shoulder and goes to Fai. My heart sinks, although I know this is not something in which one can take sides. Making sure to avoid the mage's eye, I look back to my own darkness, which seems to have no end. Sakura is somewhere out there, alone. Fai will be furious when he finds out. As if I hadn't done enough harm to the people I care about.

Something heavy falls over me, obstructing my view. I take it, recognizing the fabric from a rainproof cloak, and wrap it around my shoulders, more to stop my shaking than as a protection from the cold. I look up to Kurogane's shape above us as he throws another blanket on Syaoran, with no more thought.

"Wear them," he tells us. I pass the oily fabric between my finger and thumb, trying very hard to forget about Fai.

"Where did you get them?" I ask. He shrugs.

"Yuuto passed by with them a while ago. They found them in an old closet and thought we might use them," he says. I didn't notice that. I don't notice anything. I couldn't even notice Syaoran-kun's injury.

"Thanks," the boy says now. His eyes go from Kurogane to the symbol on his chest, and he tightens the blanket around his shoulders to cover it. The ninja notices.

"It's not like it's something you've been wearing on purpose," he says gruffly. Syaoran-kun looks down.

"Still," he says softly, "it's not something I'd like to see." There's a short, awkward silence before Kurogane speaks again.

"The witch said you were held captive by the one who wears that crest," he says, his muscles tightening under his shirt. Syaoran-kun nods.

"Yeah," he admits sadly. "But I have no idea in which dimension that was. Even if I knew, I don't have the power to cross dimensions, so I couldn't take you there. I'm sorry." Kurogane grunts.

"You're not the one that should be blamed," he replies, looking down with a wistful expression. There's another silence, which we all fill with our thoughts. "He likely won't come back, that kid…" he says softly. I bite my lip. I don't want to think about that. Sakura is coming back and Fai hates me, but at least he's here. Syaoran… I push away the thought as soon as it grazes me, but I know it's true.

For what's happened to him, he might as well be dead.

I hate myself for thinking it. He's still out there somewhere, very well alive. I remember his eyes, one of them blue now, like ponds frozen over by winter, and shudder. That wasn't the Syaoran I know. That one's gone now. Gone and not coming back. Syaoran-kun said that he was hoping Syaoran could grow his own heart in all those years, but he didn't. And now he's gone. No. No, that's not true. Frozen ponds are filled with life if you look under the surface. Maybe he does have a heart, buried somewhere in there, but not strong enough yet to fight its way out…

Or maybe he doesn't. Maybe it's just that simple.

I feel something wet roll down my cheek and hurriedly clap my hand over it before the others see. Behind us, I notice a light and glance just long enough to see Fai speaking to the Dimensions Witch, Mokona asleep on his lap. I turn back just as fast. I hate myself for crying. If you look at all of us, I don't have it that bad. If someone here should have the right to cry, it should not be me.

"We have to decide before the princess gets back," Kurogane announces suddenly. I turn to him, my hand still cupping my cheek like I've just slapped myself. "What we're going to do from now on," he explains, looking gravely at me and Syaoran-kun. Then his eyes rest on something behind us, and I know he's looking to Fai. I bite my thumb. I hadn't thought of that before, but it seems easy enough compared to everything else. I still need to go home; that hasn't changed. So I'll keep travelling with Mokona and Kurogane – and Sakura, when she gets back. But I don't know what she'll want to do. She still needs her feathers, but now that Syaoran's gone, maybe she won't care as much? It was always his crusade, after all. I mentally punch myself. I have to stop thinking about him, or I'll cry again. Crying is not an option.

No, no matter why we are travelling from now on, I'll keep going. Kurogane will too, because he wants to go back home as well. And of course Fai will come, now that he has no other option but to die if we leave him. Sakura will come with us as well, because she won't want to stay here. I don't know what she wants to do yet, and I doubt she knows it herself, but I'm worried for her. Syaoran's departure was hardest on her, and I'm scared she'll want to do something drastic. She's grown up too fast today.

And Syaoran-kun? I have no idea what he'll do, but I have a nagging feeling he'll follow us. After all, we're the closest things he has to acquaintances now.

"Have you decided?" he asks Kurogane. The ninja nods.

"Yes," he says. "There are some things that will have to change and others that will stay the same." He looks at me. "What about you?" I frown up to him. If he's known me at all, he already knows my answer. That's when I notice the silence behind us. Fai has stopped talking.

"Why did you let Sakura-chan go to get the payment herself?" I jump at the sound of his voice, quivering with rage. Slowly, we all turn around, Syaoran-kun startled and Kurogane calm, like he had already foreseen this. I'm not sure, but I must seem scared. I am scared. But at least anger is an emotion I can recognize and answer to.

Fai is standing just under the parapet, glaring at us with his remaining eye. I shy away from it when he looks at me, because I know he has the right to be angry. But what did he want us to do?

"The princess wanted it that way," Kurogane answers evenly. Fai's nostrils flare as his hands ball into fists.

"Is that why you didn't stop her?" he accuses harshly, looking to both Kurogane and me. I look down.

"Yes," Kurogane says. Suddenly, Fai dashes forward, pulling his blanket around him for protection. He rushes past us without a glance back.

"Fai, wait!" I hear Mokona exclaim, but Syaoran-kun catches him before he reaches Fai.

"Are you going to find her?" Kurogane calls out, and Fai freezes. He doesn't turn around.

"And if I am?" he replies coldly. I stand up and step towards him. My heart is pounding. I look at his thin clothing, the measly rainproof blanket he holds as only protection, his hips devoid of equipment, and the dark, crawling night beyond him. If he steps out there, he's going to die. I won't let him die, not now. I want to say something, but I'm too ashamed to speak. What can I say other than I'm sorry? And that won't be enough, I know.

"Wait here," Kurogane says. Still looking straight ahead, Fai replies.

"She can't come back because she's injured, you know that right? That's why neither of you got treatment," he accuses. "This country is low on medication. If Sakura is hurt when she comes back, you want her to have some left." I cringe at the spot-on allegation, but Kurogane doesn't seem to react. Fai can't see him, but I know he's angry. His mouth is set into a scowl and his shoulders are tense. "What if she wants to come back but can't?" Fai continues. "If would be bad enough if she's hurt, but if she lost her life… then she won't come back." I want to scream at him to shut up, that Sakura will come back because she has too, but I don't have the right. Everything he says is true.

"The princess knew this," Kurogane replies. This time, Fai turns around.

"If you knew this, then why…" he snarls.

"That's why," Kurogane interrupts. "We promised the princess we would wait for her here. So we're waiting. Because waiting is much more painful than going with her." I notice he doesn't mention the witch's conditions. He's putting the blame solely on us, and mostly on himself. I think I know why: he thinks he deserves it. He's angry with himself for letting Sakura go, but he couldn't do anything else. So this is a way to punish himself for it. By deepening the hate Fai already has for us.

The mage scoffs and turns back. "Well, I'm not waiting," he says, taking another step.

"Is believing so frightening?" Kurogane calls out. Fai freezes again, hesitating. I step towards Kurogane. Believing is terrifying, but there's no other option.

That's when the rain starts.

The clouds, which had held for most of the afternoon and night, suddenly break up into raindrops. My eyes widen and I look out to the desert, my heart pounding. She has her cloak though, so she'll be fine…

"It's raining! Sakura!" Mokona calls out to the darkness. Fai starts moving again.

"Wait here," Kurogane repeats. When he stops this time, Fai is breathing loudly.

"If you stop me again," he warns, "it will turn into a fight." I look, startled, at the back of this person I no longer know. Fai would never threaten like that. Not unless…

Not unless we were threatening someone he cared about more than he cared for us. The realization makes me shiver, but also enables me to finally speak. Because I still care for him, and I will not let him kill himself, not even for Sakura.

"Fight me, then," I say, breaking from Kurogane and stepping towards Fai. "Because I'm stopping you." I don't recognize my own voice. It sounds like something I would have said yesterday, maybe this morning, ages ago it seems. Fai jolts at my words. Slowly, he turns around, nostrils flaring, his left eye a cat's eye, golden and shining in the night. I grit my teeth together and look at him, and I think I'm glaring. Yes, I'm glaring at him. I'm still shaking, but it's no longer from fear. I want him to fight me. I want him to hurt me like I've hurt him, and I want the pain to erase everything else. "Fight me," I repeat. He's no longer moving, and despite the anger in his eyes I can tell he's hesitating. Why bother? We both want it. "Fight me if you're so intent on going." He takes a step forward, still too slowly, like he's thinking through every move of every muscle before acting. Nobody else is moving. I know Kurogane will let me deal with this on my own, and that's fine by me. I also know I don't plan to win this. I just want the pain to take over. But he's hesitating. If he hates me so much, why is he hesitating?

Just as Fai's about to finally move, Syaoran-kun's voice rings through the darkness, at first hesitant and then stronger as his words take shape.

"If… if you go look for her and get hurt," he says, "Sakura… no, the princess will be hurt as well. She'll be hurt in the heart a great many more times than she'll be physically hurt. It's the same as you not wanting her to get hurt." Fai is no longer looking at me, and his eye has turned blue again. I sigh, feeling the cold take over again. It's too hard to be angry when his eye is blue.

But suddenly, I notice it. Something familiar out in the darkness. I can't see it, but I know it's there, just on the edge of my consciousness, moving slowly towards us.

"You really are the same, you two," Fai mutters under his breath with a joyless smile. His combativeness seems to have vanished.

I recognize her just as Mokona screams out in surprise. My eyes widen, my pulse quickens, and before I realize it my legs are carrying me towards the desert. Too slowly. I say her name over and over again, singing from happiness at her return and yet so scared of what I will find. She's stumbling, that much I can tell.

"Kid!" Kurogane yells out after me, but I don't listen.

"It's Sakura!" Mokona finally says, and the sound of hurried footsteps follows his declaration. I keep running; I can't feel the sting of the rain. I can see her now, just a black shape against the darkness. She's hurt, I know that, but she's alive. So very much alive. Relief floods me and the weight on my chest vanishes. I just want to hold her and nurse her like a sick child, squeeze her tight until I can remember the imprint of her heart on mine and truly convince myself that she's here and she's alive.

I see her fall to the ground and quicken my pace, but Fai passes me in a few strides. The first thing I feel is disbelief. He's never been able to outrun me before. Then he falls to the ground in front of Sakura and pulls his blanket around her. All I can do is stop, standing like an idiot over them, my hands fallen uselessly at my sides. The second thing I feel is worthlessness.

Feebly, Sakura reaches for his arm. She lifts her eyes towards him. It's difficult to tell in the darkness, but one of them doesn't seem green anymore.

"I'm sorry," she says weakly, and Fai freezes. She continues softly, completely oblivious to the huffing shapes of Kurogane and Syaoran-kun arriving beside me. "I wasn't able to do anything when you were in pain. I'm so sorry. You must… you must be hurting so much more than I am right now." So she's guessed it then. That he didn't want us to save him.

"Sakura-chan…" he says sadly, looking down at her. She reaches for him. I can see tears glistening in her eyes. The sound of something precious shattering reaches my ears, from far away.

"Even so," she says, "I'm… glad that… you are alive." She's trembling now. "I'm sorry…" She falls again, unconscious this time. I reach for her in alarm but Fai already has her, already holds her against his chest like he never wants to let go, and again all I can do is watch them. I suddenly feel the rain against my skin, burning like fire as it slithers into my wounds, burning, burning away the ice and chasing the cold, replacing it with fire and pain. The shattering sound is closer now, filling the silence like a thousand brass bells as I see Sakura in Fai's arms, in a chalice of silence where we can't reach them, where they are alone. She is happy he is alive. She is happy, and she is sorry, and he loves her. She did not save him, so he loves her.

And for the fifth time today, as I look down at them so close and the sound of my shattering world finally reaches my ears, I dig deep into my wounds to find a physical pain equivalent to the aching of my heart.

And fail.


	42. A Black Hole Called Future

**Disclaimer: I don't own TRC**

**Oh my god SORRRREEEEEEEEYYYYYYY! O.O It took forever I know, but now I'm back and the next chapter will not take this long I PROMIIIISSSSSEEEEE! SORRY! I had literally no time to write this past semester... This has actually been done for a while, but I wasn't happy with it and I still am not, but now I think it's just ridiculous and that I have to move on, so there it is... **

**The next chapter will be better, I promise! And be up sooner!**

**Forgive meeeeeeeeeee!**

**XxX**

Liquid fire dripping on my body, caressing my skin almost tenderly as it wraps me in a blanket of pain. Penetrating every small wound until I want to scream, to tear away at them like it will make them disappear. Pain, pain, fire. I let a small tear join the tracks on my cheeks, hoping nobody will notice. A hand on my arm, familiar eyes looking at me, worried eyes, and the hand pulling me away from the fire that will eat me.

XxX

It's an egg. The thing Sakura risked her life to get, the object lying in the stone chalice in the middle of the desert, the price for the water, is an egg. I watch as Sakura holds it up shakily from the folds of her cloak and Mokona opens his mouth, the wind playing with my bangs before the egg disappears. A few seconds later, Yuuko holds it up.

"The price for the water," she says, looking down at Sakura with a compassionate smile. "I'll accept it."

It hurts.

I stayed a little too long under the rain - it finally took Kurogane to drag me back under the parapet. I couldn't move. Even after Fai had left, carrying Sakura in his arms, I could only stare at the place where they were, stare at the drop that shattered the glass and left me bare and broken. I welcomed the rain almost as a salvation; because pain is my only defense now.

Despite this fact, it's not my skin that hurts the most. It's not the fragile flesh inside my wounds, irritated by the acid, that causes me the pain which will consume me. It's the sight right beside me, the one I am desperately trying not to see.

Fai and Sakura.

She's laying on his lap, huddled in her cloak, covered in blood. The sight of the red on her cheeks doesn't disturb me. I've seen so much blood today that my entire world seems bloodstained. One of her eyes has turned a murky brown and tries to focus, half-shut, on the world around her, giving her face an uneven look. There's a metal rod through her ankle. Her chest quivers with every small breath.

She's in pain, and I know it. I wish I could stop it. But she doesn't need me. She doesn't want me to help. She's barely glanced at anybody but Fai since she's come back. Not even a sound, a whisper to acknowledge our presence. Like we don't exist, or worst, like we don't matter.

And him... I look down at the scars on my arms. There's nothing else to say.

It should be my cheeks covered in blood, my eye swollen and brown, my ankle run through by scrap metal. Sakura was never meant to walk through that desert, and we let her go. I let her go. And I know that even if I had gone as I should have, even if I was the one shaking with pain, my body turned into an open sore, he still wouldn't care.

I want to scream. My skin is aching from the inside like from the claws of a beast trying to break free. My body is its cage. The beast is my pain. I won't let it out, not yet. Not until I am alone and nobody else will be able to see it. My very last defense is still holding, albeit barely. The cold, the ice, is gone and I can't bring it back even if I try. Only pain remains. Physical pain to upset the balance and calm the beast a little while longer. Because I have to hear this. Finally, we are getting answers.

"It is time to tell you," Yuuko sighs wearily, looking away for a moment. I nod. Although no one has asked her, she knows she owes us this much. She scans us all: Kurogane to the left of the makeshift bed, Fai and Sakura together, sitting on it, Mokona, Syaoran-kun leaning against a pillar behind them, and finally me, to the right of all of this, staring hard at her because I don't want to acknowledge what is at my left. There is something like pity in her eyes. "Yes, I believe it is. Sakura-hime…" She turns to the princess. "The one who stole your memories was a man named Fei Wong Reed." I frown. That is the same man who captured Syaoran-kun and killed Kurogane's mother. The young boy looks down at the sound of that name; Fai moves, but I'm not watching to see how. If Kurogane recognizes the name, he doesn't seem it. But Sakura's breathing becomes more erratic. "But really," Yuuko continues, "it wasn't necessary for him to steal them. Fei Wong's real aim was to scatter your memories." Staying still is proving more difficult by the second as the burning sting begins to fade, and I start scratching at my wounds. Most of them have started bleeding again.

Sakura shifts. "For… what reason?" she asks weakly. I close my eyes. This voice doesn't fit the energetic girl I know. I want to help her, I want to, I can't listen to her voice like this…

But she doesn't need me. She has Fai.

"For the sake of a wish," Yuuko answers gravely. I know I should be listening, but it's so hard to concentrate when I feel it all growing, right beyond this wall of pain, the turmoil of emotions I don't want unleashed on me right now. I can't hold on to myself much longer, just until my body numbs to the burning and the fire, leaving me defenceless. It scares me. And the cold won't come back. The numbness is gone. I've tried. Too much fire for new ice to settle.

"To grant Fei Wong's wish, two things are necessary," the witch continues, and I force her words into my head, force myself to make sense of them. "One is burried in the ruins of Clow country. The other is to travel to different worlds to find your memories, princess. Crossing dimensions… going beyond hours and time… and having a 'memory' of various dimensions." I frown, but no one says anything. This makes no sense. How could…

"A… memory?" Sakura asks painfully. Mokona shakes negatively.

"At the beginning of the journey, Sakura was always asleep," he protests. "She's more energetic now, but it's impossible for her to remember things that happened while she was sleeping…" Some rainwater has finally found its way inside the wounds at my side, and a small sound of both relief and pain escapes my lips as a blade carves them through my flesh all over again, keeping my tears at bay for a few moments longer.

"What Fei Wong wanted weren't the memories of Sakura's heart," Yuuko replies, "but the memories of that vessel called the body." Her face is cold and stoic again, as though carved out of stone. I suspect she's told herself these things many times before. "A body that can remember each and every dimension, or world; that is the power of Sakura-hime, the one which can change worlds." I see the princess' eyes widen from the corner of my eye, and suppress a groan, feeling the rainwater trickle into my previously untouched wounds like poison. I can't concentrate on anyting other than the pain. Still, I compel Yuuko's words to reach me, even though I don't have the energy to make any sense out of them anymore. I don't have time to; soon the information is flowing so fast I can only take it as it is.

"For that reason, Fei Wong made Sakura-hime's memories into feathers and scattered them across the worlds, to make you go on a journey to retrieve them. First he kidnapped 'Syaoran', who knew of his plan, and made another Syaoran, whose only purpose was to find the feathers, but who knew nothing. Then he murdered Kurogane's mother, and wrecked his country."

"What's that got to do with it?" the ninja growls.

"It was for you to leave Suwa and become a ninja of Japan, to serve Tomoyo-hime and embark on this journey one day. Because only Tomoyo-hime is able to send people to other worlds," the witch answers equally. Kurogane grunts angrily.

"I became a servant of Tomoyo-hime of my own free will," he says harshly, daring anyone to say otherwise. The witch nods diplomaticaly.

"She believes this as well," she says calmly. "That's why she sent you on this journey, even knowing of Fei Wong's intentions. Fai," she adds, and I follow her gaze before realizing where it brings me, "it is the same in your case." My heart jumps, but before looking away I have the time to glimpse him looking down, his hair still dripping with rainwater. "Surely you understand now what was planned and what wasn't." I'm not surprised at how little she touches Fai's past; the secrecy is so thick around it, it seems now as though its natural place is to be hidden, safely away from everyone. I would have been surprised had she uttered one more word about it.

I pretend not to notice his fingers tightening around Sakura, or the princess reaching for his hand. I shy away from the image my mind substitutes for their frames.

Like in a dream, I expect the witch to mention me now, although I have no idea what she would say. I've had nothing to do with this man, surely he hasn't touched my life, and yet everybody else has a story. It's only logical that mine follow.

"So that Sakura-hime could cross several realities and be able to safely make memories of them, the other Syaoran, Kurogane, Fai, you were all gathered as fellow travellers." I start at the silence where my name should have been. I look up to Yuuko, catching the other's bewildered gazes in my direction.

"What about me?" I ask before I realize the words have sprouted. I don't feel anything but surprise, although I should – and the thought reassures me somewhat – be feeling hurt at seeing myself left out, and relief at not being drawn into the dark enigma of this Fei Wong's wish, along with some other, less identifiable emotions.

As though she had known I would ask, Yuuko turns to me with, for the first time, what I can only see as a gentle smile. The expression seems so out of place on her face that I pull back a little. "You," she says softly, "were not meant to take part in this journey. That is why you are so very precious. Because your very presence here goes against Fei Wong's plans." My eyes widen.

"What…"

"I've told you before, haven't I?" she says, the smile gone, replaced by the cold, calculating face I know. "You were not meant to be here." The words send me hurtling back to Chunyiang's house, in front of a magical circle just like this one, and I gasp as though the air were burning my lungs. I hadn't understood those words back then, had eventually discarded them as just another one of the witch's senseless ramblings, and now…

"That's why," I choke. "That's why you made me…" That's why she wanted me to join this journey, in the beginning. The reason she made the price my home, the reason our agreement was so binding. I thought it was simply her usual negociation process, but not quite.

She wanted me to follow them, to act as a wild card in this Fei Wong's game. The one he could not predict, the one he had no power over. She had a purpose for me. Just like Fei Wong manipulated the other's pasts to make them serve his will, she used me as her pawn. Not giving me any choice but to follow her plan.

"I did not force anything upon you," she protests serenely. "The choice was all yours. But yes, I must admit that I had hoped for this outcome." On the verge of panic, I take shelter behind what is left of my icy armour. I can't break here, not now, not in front of…

"And Mokona?" the fur-ball asks tentatively. I close my eyes, grateful for the distraction. Gradually, I feel all gazes slip away from me, except for one.

"Mokona," I hear her say, "was created by me and another mage, Clow Reed, to prevent Fei Wong's plan, and for the sake of two futures," she concludes solemnly, looking directly at Syaoran-kun. He returns her gaze. The magic circle's focus panes out from Yuuko and settles on a bed behind her. Lying on the bed, pale and covered in bandages, is a thin boy I have never seen before. He looks so fragile. "It's all right," I hear Yuuko's voice, soft and gentle. "With the price you and the others who do not want to loose this child paid, he will not disappear from your hearts." She seems almost relieved as she says this. She must care for this boy, as odd as that may seem. Maybe he serves a purpose as well…

Syaoran sighs gratefully. "Thank you," he says. I confusedly feel that this is all part of a longer conversation, one predating today's events and from which we are missing the most important segments. The circle focuses once more on Yuuko. There is a silence, in which no one so much as breathes louder than the sound of the rain.

"What does that guy wish for that the ruins and the princess' memories can grant?" Kurogane asks abruptely, voicing my thoughts. Yuuko's lip quivers slightly.

"The power to cross realities," she answers. "To obtain the power of time and space." Sakura moves.

"And with this power…" she says, "what does he…?"

"To tell you that would exceed the limit of interference," the witch interrupts coldly. Suddenly, her carefully upheld expression melts, and I she can't hide the weariness in her eyes. "But…" she continues, her voice now a sign, "the wish that Fei Wong wants granted… Anyone can dream of that, but no one can grant that dream." She sighs again. "That's all I can tell you for now. Any more than this would exceed the limit of interference."

"What's this 'limit of interference'?" Kurogane asks gruffly. She composes her expression again.

"At first glance, the world seems pure chaos," she explains. "But, besides monitoring the extent to which it sways, a maintenance is needed to preserve that fragile balance. If the maintainers who must hold it loose this balance, it all falls apart. Because Fei Wong sent you on this journey, things have already started to collapse. Like the world of Shara, whose history has been changed, or this world, which has been destroyed." I pinch my lips together at the mention of Shara. I shouldn't think of those times. And how can she blame this devastation on us? "However," she adds, "there is still a meaning to what is born of this destruction. Because everything is inevitable. It is Hitsuzen."

No. Things are born of destruction because it is the way of the world; because above all, life prevails. It was not Hitsuzen who brought us here, and it was not Hitsuzen who made me take this path. She made me take it, and perhaps I took it willingly as well. But there was no invisible destiny driving us. It was necessity, and I went with it without fighting too hard. Because I'm an idiot.

The silence lasts so long this time that I think I'm going to burst. My shield is breaking, and all I can do is hold on to the very last pieces before I break as well. I have to get out of here.

Finally, the witch speaks. "Although it is true that you have all been brought together for a purpose, the decision to travel together was yours. What you did afterwards, the things you ignored, the problems you met head on, everything you have done or said, was all a result of your choices." Her eyes linger on me at those words. I ignore them. "Because of those choices, things have been lost," she continues. "But many things have also been born." I stare at my feet. What has been born that hasn't already been torn apart? "And that is why I think you should choose what to do next."

There's dried blood under my fingernails. I dig it out, and fresh blood appears. I frown. I don't remember getting hurt there.

The sound of sudden movement makes my head turn, although I've already decided I wouldn't look there. Sakura has somehow sat up, looking directly at Yuuko. Fai still holds her hand, his arm behind her back in case she falls.

"I will continue the journey," the princess declares determinedly. "In order to find… Syaoran-kun." I can't say I'm surprised. I knew she was going to keep travelling, if only to leave this cursed place. And searching for Syaoran, as hopeless a quest as that may be, sounds just like her. Still, I'm worried. If she gets her hopes up and is disappointed… I'm scared of what she might do.

"If you go after Syaoran, you'll be doing exactly what Fei Wong expects you to do," the witch cautions. There's that as well. If that man continues interfering with us any longer, how bad will it get? At least if we slip out of his radar, he'll be taken aback.

"Even so, I'll go," the princess answers firmly. "In order to get Syaoran-kun's heart back." I glance in her direction. There is no hesitation in her eyes, only a cold resolve. I can't help but feel sad. She's going to hurt herself if she goes on like this.

"I wonder if I can stay with you." Fai's voice makes me jump. I wasn't expecting him to speak, I hadn't prepared myself to hear his voice, not talking to Sakura like this. I stare at the ground as though I wanted to bore a hole through it. "Right now, my right eye is where Syaoran-kun is. Since the magic is from the same origin, it will attract itself; it should be easier to find him." There is a short silence.

"Is this… what Fai-san… really wants to do?" Sakura asks. "Just because I said I wanted to go… you're not hiding what you really want, are you?" There is concern in her voice, but she can't hide her joy at the idea that Fai might be following her. Of course he will.

"This is really what I want to do." I bite my lip and groan when blood comes out. He continues: "I'm not able to use healing magic. I'm a magician that can't heal your wounds… would you still allow me to come with you?" I don't know why they're talking like this when the answers are so obvious. She'll say yes, and he'll go. My armour is stretched to the limit of what it can take, and I start shaking. I have to get out of here.

"It doesn't matter if you have magic or not… Fai-san is Fai-san." But in the end, I might have been able to hold it together much longer, had I not glanced sideways at that very moment. Just in time to see Fai bring Sakura's hand to his lips, and kiss it gently.

"_Ui Ra Purinshia_… my one and only princess," I hear him whisper. My very last wall crumbles to the ground in thunder. I close my eyes. I shouldn't have looked. I shouldn't have looked.

God, oh god… he kissed her. The knuckles on my left hand hurt like a knife is scraping the skin from the bone. He actually… just like that… He loves her because she's sorry, and I… all I get is my surname spit from between his teeth like a poison. Pain flares up through my whole body. I deserved it. I deserved it all. And that's the worst part.

I can't help a small cry as my fingers dig into my side, keeping me safe for a moment, just a few seconds more. If he sees me cry, if he suspects, it's all over.

Fortunately, my whimper is drowned out by Mokona's exclamation. "Mokona wants to travel with everyone else too! What about Kurogane?" The ninja grunts.

"I still want to go back to Japan. That hasn't changed," he says gruffly. "But some things have changed. It's alright to have more than one promise, isn't it?" So he'll search for Syaoran too. I knew he would.

"Kurogane-san…" Sakura says, like she's actually surprised. Has she not travelled with us all this time? Does she not know by now we would never let her do something like this alone?

"Besides," the ninja grumbles, "that way I can probably meet the guy I've been looking for." I can feel more than see him glance towards me. "Kid?" I compose myself a closed expression and try to keep my voice as even as possible.

"I'm going back home too. So I'll go." My fingers are wet with fresh blood. My fresh blood. But I know that soon my body will grow numb to the pain. The beast growls inside of me, tearing my insides apart in its rage to escape. It knows I won't have control over it for very long. Just a few seconds longer…

"What about you, Syaoran?" Yuuko asks.

"There is something I want to get back," he says from behind me. "It probably won't come back, but…" his eyes rest on Sakura, "if I can protect, I want to. I wish to go with you." It hurts, so much… The tears are starting to pool.

"Understood," Yuuko says. "You may go as you wish."

_Go_. It is the only word I really understand. I run.

The beast, with a defiant roar, takes a hold of me, pushing my body faster and faster, further and further away from them, away from the rain that is still pounding on the desert sand like a myriad of diamond tears. I know that I can't run from the pain, no matter how much I try. It doesn't stop my legs from moving.

XxX

I don't know what floor I'm on anymore. I run until my legs give way under me and I crumble without resistance. Only my panting echoes in my ears, frenetically, like a wounded animal. I'm not sure how long it's been since I've taken a breath. My lungs are burning. Everything hurts; I feel like I'm going to be sick. I can't help but clutch my stomach, wincing as my hand brushes my wounds. It's like I'm going to drown in all the melted ice around me, only remains of my armour. This feeling I don't recognize hits me, crushes me like a wave on the cold stone floor, and I can't stop it. I can't breathe.

It's only then that I notice I am alone. No one around me, no sound coming from my surroundings. Truly alone. Strange, twisted relief finds me. No one will see me like this. A broken laugh bubbles on my lips, soon followed by a sob. I can't even say why I'm so upset; my thoughts are so meddled and confused, I can't make out anything but the pain, the omnipresent beast lashing at my wounds. Only one thought follows me, around and around again, like a broken record player: _It was your fault. It was all your fault._

I don't recognize the voice shooting out of my lungs in wave-like sobs, coming back to me distorted and warped like a child's demented laugh. I can't stand it. I have to do something, I have to keep running…

But running won't save me. I can't move anymore, and there's nothing I can do but wait to drown completely. I rest my cheek on the floor, quivering. It was my fault. I deserve this.

I understand now why I'm the only one here; right beside me is a huge hole in the floor, looking down at least four stories - probably a remnant of the earthquakes. The lodgings must not go this high. I find myself staring at the hole. I'm so close to it; would I have let myself fall only a few inches to the left, I would have plunged right through. I can almost see myself at the bottom, a small, crumpled figure like a flightless bird, blood clouding my vision and blocking my airway. The small fluttering of my heart before it halts to a stop... I briefly wonder if anyone would have noticed that I was gone, if there would be someone to find my broken body before it gave up - or if I would have died there, alone. The thought doesn't affect me like I thought it would. Somehow it feels like the natural way to look at things. Of course they wouldn't have cared. I'm so useless anyways, my absence wouldn't even have made a difference. I close my eyes and see a sky blue cat eye looking straight back at me. My sobs have silenced now, replaced by painful gasps. He wouldn't have cared, that I know. Maybe he would have even been glad. I look again at the hole beside me. It came so close to ending that way...

"Don't even think about it," a voice growls from above me. A strong hand grabs my collar, pulling me up before I can react; I know before I see him that it's Kurogane. His eyes shoot flames and his breath is short from running. I watch his chest rise and fall under his white shirt until panic settles. He shouldn't see me crying. I promised I wouldn't break in front of him, that I wouldn't be a burden, and now he's here, pulling me out of the water I was drowning in. Frantically, I try to hold on to myself, but it's too late. I can't build another wall so fast. "You are going to get a hold of yourself," he snarls. "And I don't want to catch you looking at that thing again. Understand?" I shake my head, pushing his arm away so he can let me go. He can't see me like this; I have to leave now, or I'll break my promise to myself. I just want to leave, to be alone so I can nurse my sorrow in peace. "Godamnit, kid!" The ninja throws me against a wall. I hit it with a cry, feeling his hand against my neck. I only see his body swinging when it's too late. Before I can react, his fist hits the wall less than an inch from my face. I freeze, eyes wide and breath short. He glares at me from under his eyebrows. His eyes pierce through the fire, through the pain and hit the very core I was trying to hide. I whimper. I look at his fist, protruding from the wall. I can't believe he actually came this close to hurting me.

"You are going to get a hold of yourself," he repeats angrily. "Or next time I won't miss." I'm shaking uncontrollably; he was going to hit me, he was going to hit me, oh god, oh god… For a second I am a little girl in front of her drunk mother, shaking hysterically with the promise of every slap and kick, unable to move a muscle to save herself.

"How did this happen?" I whisper before breaking into tears. Why? Why is he here? Why did he almost hit me? "Oh God, oh God..." Are we all bound to turn against each other? Are we this badly broken?

I don't want to cry, I don't want to cry, I repeat to myself, but the words only seem to encourage the tears to fall, faster and more numerous. My shoulders start shaking and I close my eyes. My closed fist connects with the stone and I let myself slide down until I reach the ground, sobbing. God, oh god…

"Fuck," I say, burrying my face in my hands. "Fuck it…" It was all my fault. _Yes. Yes it was. _First Syaoran, then Fai and Sakura, now Kurogane... I'm alone.

He was going to hit me. The thought won't let me go. Why would he hit me? He must hate me too... Oh God. I sob. A little girl in a dark room, facing her mother who has turned on her. That's the only image I can conjure right now, and I shudder. I don't want to be hit right now. I don't want to be hit.

_Mama... Mama, please stop..._

"Kid..." A hand on my arm. I tense.

"Don't touch me!" I yell, pushing his hand away as I stumble to my feet. I'm crying, gasping, chocking all at once. I won't become the victim again. I won't let him hit me.

"Kid." I'm only looking at his hand now. He reaches for me again, this time more slowly, almost with caution. I run off to the side, shying from the contact. I can barely breathe. I don't want this to start all over again. I'm not sure I'll be able to fight back if he hits me. Not if it's Kurogane.

And I would understand, that's the worst part. I know how it feels; the need to break, maim, destroy, if only to convince oneself that one has some control left. That life isn't over. That the man who broke her isn't coming back through her daughter.

A broken bird at the bottom of a pit, crimson staining its feathers.

_Mama..._

A vice grip on my wrist, pulling me back. My body reacts before I even realize what's happening; it knows the signs better than I do.

"Get away!" I scream in panic, twirling on my heels to break his hold, but it stays strong. In a second he'll pull me to the ground, maybe the wall if I'm lucky, or he'll twist my arm behind my back in a hold that doesn't really hurt but keeps me from moving too much...

"Wait!" I keep pulling, but I can't move. He won't let go. With a final sob, I stop struggling, waiting for the next blow. Fine. Fine. If I'm too weak to even defend myself, fine.

"Kid," he says, and still there's no tugging, no pulling. Slowly, I turn around to look at him. His eyes have lost their harshness, and I even think I see something like pleading in them. "I'm sorry. I didn't think." He lets go of my wrist, but I don't move. Somehow, I can't. Because suddenly, I understand.

I realize what he saw when he finally reached the end of the stairs; I was crying and gasping for air, looking down a hole as though I was going to let myself fall and crash on the hard pavement four floors down. He's Kurogane; he probably couldn't think of any other way to react.

I did consider it, for a moment, I seriously considered it… Just to see if they would notice. Just to prove myself right. With the slight hope that perhaps, I had been wrong.

He was scared for me, and I was too blind to see it. He was scared...

He saw the bird, too.

Flightless, fragile. And it scared him.

I let myself fall against him, clinging to his shoulders and sobbing. I don't care if he sees me cry; I can't take it anymore. I can't take being alone.

I'm just so stupid.

"I'm sorry, sorry, so sorry..."

Images and feelings tumble incoherently over each other in my mind; Fai laying, puppetlike, in his blood, Syaoran with his hand around my throat, Sakura's shadow fading in the night, a thundering maelstrom of water threatening to crash atop of me, blood, my blood dripping into Fai's mouth, the boy who is no longer Syaoran stepping through a hole in the world, his cold eyes glancing one last time at me before disappearing forever…

Fai, and the words so ready at the tip of his tongue. _Kazumi-san._ His anger, and his hatred. How he held Sakura close to him, his fingers clutching her body helplessly just as mine had done to him only hours ago. The tenderness when he kissed her hand. My knuckles that hurt, hurt so much. The droplet of fire that caused my walls to crash.

Sakura, looking at Fai. Talking to Fai. Her muddled brown eye, unfocused, the blood on her cheeks. The glance that never came our way.

Syaoran-kun, limping painfully up the stairs, lying about his injury, avoiding my gaze. The easy way my name slipped through his mouth. The loneliness I can see borring through his eyes.

Kurogane, the tower shaken by the storm. The comfort I cannot ask and yet given to me without question. The hand pulling me out of the fire, out of the ocean.

Syaoran, leaving. The Syaoran I knew, dead, gone, somewhere we can't follow even if we travel through a thousand worlds, even if Sakura wishes so…

I couldn't protect them, any of them. I couldn't do anything but watch powerlessly as they struggled, as they fought and broke and stumbled back up again, and sometimes stayed down and never looked up. Syaoran never did.

I spent so long trying not to think and now my thoughts are so muddled that it's just as hard to make any sense of them.

It was all your fault.

I whimper. I know.

"Why?" I wail the first word that comes to me. I tried, I tried so hard, and still everything shattered around me. Still everyone got hurt. "How did this happen?" I sob, diggind my nails in Kurogane's skin.

I should have read the signs, should have seen it coming. Subaru said it was inevitable that this happen to Syaoran, but I don't know that. In the Central Library he came to, and this morning, in the desert he snaped out of it as well; all it took then was the sound of a familiar voice. Perhaps, if I had been able to jump in with him, if I had been there when the other boy had taken over, maybe he would still be here and none of this would have gone beyond a simple scare. Maybe I could have saved him...

Fai knew, I remember. And he refused to tell me. Why? To shield me when it eventually happened, for the same reason he told Kusanagi to hold me back? I whimper. If that is the reason, then I despise myself.

I didn't protect Fai, and I couldn't save him. I hurt him. I had to hurt him because I couldn't heal him, because I couldn't control my own magic. I've healed scratches, but when Fai was dying I couldn't do a thing.

The thought hits me like a rogue wave. I remember Fai's lessons about magic, and shake my head. That can't be it, it can't be... but it makes sense. It makes perfect sense, and I'm a monster.

"Is it because I didn't want it enough?" The question slips out in a cry. Could I be that heartless?

Kurogane pushes me away abruptely, holding me out at arms length. His eyes shoot daggers in my direction. I don't remember ever seeing him this angry.

"If I hear you say it's your fault one more time, you'll wish you'd never said it," he threatens furiously. My heart swells.

"You were there!" I scream, sobbing. "He said it, that it was my desires that controlled my magic! So why else? Why else could I not heal him?"

" 'Cause he was wrong." It's all I hear before Kurogane's face is close to mine, his hand closed on my jaw, forcing my eyes into his. "Look at me," he growls, "and tell me that you didn't do everything you could to protect them." His eyes again, cutting to my core so that I don't know what to think anymore. "You gave your blood to save that idiot's life, knowing full well that he would hate you for it. Do not try to make me believe you didn't want to save him." I open my mouth to speak, but the words don't come out. I can say that it was my fault, but under Kurogane's gaze I can't say that I didn't try. Because I did try, didn't I; until my legs could not carry me any longer, until I was screaming louder than Fai in his agony, until the pain was so unbearable I had to retreat from the world. But I still acomplished nothing. I've never felt so helpless in my life.

I close my eyes. I don't want to think like that. "Look at me," he orders again. My lids flutter open at the sound of his voice. His hand is crushing my jaw so hard he is shaking, pushing my head into the wall. "I saw you nearly drown yourself trying to save them," he growls, his nostrils flaring in anger, "I saw you collapse on the floor because you used up all your energy to try and heal him. Nobody in their right minds would even think of blaming anything of what happened today on you. You couldn't stop that from happening to the kid. He said it, remember? No one could stop it." I try to shake my head, blubbering, but his eyes still hold on to me. "Listen," he growls. "That mage tried to stop it, and he nearly got himself killed. Even if you could have done something, all you would have accomplished was to give me two bodies to haul upstairs." _And a bigger price to heal you both, _he doesn't say. I bite my lip; I know. But to know Kurogane would have been ready to do the same for me as we did for Fai doesn't help.

"I know," I finally moan through my tears, although it hurts to say it. It hurts to admit that I couldn't save him. Because then, I don't feel horrible anymore; I just feel useless. If I can't even protect the people I care about, when that is the reason I'm here in the first place, then my presence here is meaningless. That witch manipulated me, she trapped me, and after all that, what good did it do? "Why did she even bother forcing me into this?"

"Were you really forced?" The question comes as a surprise; I don't know what to say. Then I remember that Kurogane is in the same situation as I am, perhaps worse.

"Ah... sorry," I say. "You were too, I-"

"There's no point thinking about that," he replies suddenly, looking away. "We're here, now, and how we got here isn't important. Besides, we both have our share of responsibility in this. If we would have said no, then none of this would have happened. Throwing all the responsibility on other people is not the answer to anything." He looks back at me. I just leave his words lay, unwilling to answer them. I already know my part of responsibility in this. I already know that half of this was my fault.

"I know it's hard not to be able to save the ones you love," he continues. "I know it's hard to realize that there's nothing you can do but watch; but nobody can ask anything more out of you than what you can give. Not even yourself." He's trying to reassure me again, I realize, just as I see the little boy's ghost in his eyes. He wouldn't have been able to stand loosing someone else like he lost his mother; he's hurt too, and I failed to see just how deeply. And yet he has to support me so that I don't crumble.

"Oh god, sorry…" I say, shaking my head. I ruin everything. Even when I try not to be a burden, I weight heavier than anyone else. "I shouldn't cry. I'm sorry." But I can't stop. The hurt runs too deep.

"You can cry if you feel like it," he says. I look up to see him looking down at me. "Just stop saying you're sorry." There's almost a longing in his voice, and I cry harder for it. I'm making this more difficult for Kurogane too. As if it wasn't enough just to be useless, I have to be a downright nuisance. I have to hurt the people I care about. Maybe I should have fallen through that hole.

I'm so scared, and it's hard to admit but it's true. It's like the world has shattered, swallowing all light with it, leaving only a black hole before our feet. We can't see what's beyond it, but once we step through, there'll be no stopping our fall. And we can't turn back.

In the end, we can only hope that what we find at the end of it is a soft landing, and not our own crumpled, flightless bodies.

"I'm sorry," I repeat. "I shouldn't... nobody else cried. I'm such a baby..." With a tired sigh, Kurogane puts his hand on my head.

"Crying when you're hurt and confused doesn't make you a baby," he says. "It means you're strong."

"It means I'm weak," I protest, shaking my head.

"It means you're stronger than those who can't face their feelings," he replies harshly, glaring towards the broken landscape. I look up. I can see the anger and resentment in his face. "I really would have killed that mage," he whispers. "If he really would have wanted me to." I don't have time to ask what he means before he suddenly takes hold of my arm and holds it to the light. His lips stretch into a sneer. "He didn't miss you, did he," he growls, his thumb passing over a puncture wound. I try to pull my arm away, but he holds it tightly.

"It's fine," I say. "Really, it barely hurts anym-"

"You didn't have to share the price with me," he says gruffly, looking out to the rain. I bite my lip.

"It was my wish as much as it was yours," I reply. Whatever happens, I don't regret doing it. It's my burden too.

"Still," he says, shifting his weight.

There's a silence.

"I'll kill that Fei Wong Reed," he finally says, his voice inflexible as his gaze. "For doing this." I look towards him. I recognize the stiffness in his jaw; it's not just the puppeteer he's angry with.

"You did everything you could too," I say softly. He grunts, looking away. "Look at me," I order, "and tell me that you didn't do everything you could to protect us." If he wants to reassure me, I will do the same; and I will be as steadfast and firm as he was. An eye for an eye.

He glances towards me.

"I can't ask from you what I can't even do," he sighs, looking away. "It's thanks to you he didn't loose his second eye, you know. And that she came back. You helped more than I did."

"Shut up," I say, glaring up at him from under my eyebrows. He did nothing wrong. I won't let him blame himself for anything that has happened. We both know we couldn't stop her; there's no point on beating ourselves up for it.

Although I want to. I wish I were the one wearing her battle wounds, though for the pain lacing my body, you'd almost think I was.

Will we ever stop hurting?

His eyes are fixed on me now, wide, almost surprised, as though he had expected me to soundlessly watch him pound himself into the ground after he forced me to reason again. No; revenge is swift.

"If it weren't for you, there's no way I would have made it out of there," I continue, determinedly staring at him. He's the strong one between us; I will not let him become weak. If he unravells at the seams, how am I supposed to hold it together?

With a small, joyless smile, he pulls me closer. I can feel his breath on my neck as he squeezes me until I can barely breathe, harder and harder. I grab onto him too, sobbing into his shirt. He doesn't tremble but I can almost sense the tears in the way he clutches at my back, and I feel like somehow I'm crying for him too. Because we're both broken and alone. Because it hurts. Because it'll only get worst from now on.

Because being strong is the only choice we have.

XxX

I hiss as Satsuki dabs a strange liquid on my arms. It burns, almost as much as the rain, and bubbles and hisses as I do.

"Sorry," Satsuki says, holding my wrists in place as the white foam overflows from my wounds, "but I had to disinfect them." She still refuses to meet my gaze, and maybe it's just as well. Just the sight of her features reminds me all too vividly of the time spent in our room, waiting for Fai to die because there didn't seem to be anything else we could do. I don't think I can forgive her for giving up, even if she really thought it was the only thing to do.

"You'll have scars," she says, observing my wounds critically. "I can almost see your bones in some places." Kurogane grunts disaproovingly, but I turn to him with a scowl. And what would he have had me do, when it was my fault Fai was in so much pain in the first place?

"It's your turn," I remind him. "So take off your shirt." Satsuki looks up, still avoiding my eyes, but frowning.

"I still need to bandage your arms," she says, as I grab the roll of bandages laying next to her.

"I'll take care of it," I reply, "but the longer we wait, the more time he has to find some other excuse so that you don't patch him up." She shrugs, turning to Kurogane. The ninja grunts, reaching for the buttons of his shirt.

"What about your side?" he asks, looking at me.

"It can wait," I say, watching the dressing go from white to red as I wrap it tightly around my wrist. His fingers pause at the second button.

"Get it checked first," he orders gruffly. I sigh.

"Don't be such a baby," I say, reaching over and undoing the buttons for him. "You need more attention than I do. And besides, unlike you, I'm not about to undress right here where everyone can see me." He scowls, but doesn't stop me.

"You'll get it bandaged later," he says simply as though it was a matter of course. I nod.

"I promise." The truth is, I really just want everyone else to be taken care of before I take care of myself. Crying in front of Kurogane was the only indulgence I will allow myself to have today. But he refused to let Satsuki near him until she took a look at me, so I agreed to have her inspect my arms.

"There you go," I say, sliding the shirt off his shoulders. He brushes my hands away and does it himself, but when the fabric begins to tear away from his back, he winces and freezes. Satsuki reaches for him, but I'm there first. I walk around to his back, carefully pulling apart the flesh and fabric, both red and caked with blood. Where the burns are the worst, his shirt seems to have almost melted into his skin. I grimace, remembering that he got these injuries while shielding both me and Fai.

His hand reaches for my elbow. "Take care of yourself," he starts, but I push it away.

"If you just pull without seeing what you're doing, it'll be worst," I say softly, sadly. It's so unfair that he's hurt so much and I'm not. If I wanted to I could change it, I ponder as my fingers gently tear away at his wounds. If my magic worked I could heal him, or at the very least transfer his injuries to myself - then again, if my magic were accessible we probably wouldn't be in such a mess. "Sorry," I say upon discovering that the only way to get rid of a troublesome patch is to rub it furiously. "Stay still," I admonish as he pulls away with a grunt. He clears his throat, settling quickly back into position like a faulty child, as though embarassed of that trace of weakness. I can't help a tender smile. He really will never change. "I'm almost done."

Satsuki observes us inquisitively as I pull away the last remnants of Kurogane's shirt. "Um, all right then," she says uneasily, "let me take a look at that…" And she steps towards us with her medicine bag. I let my fingers brush against the ninja's back one last time; I really wish he wasn't hurt.

"You just be a big boy now," I whisper, almost teasing but mostly sad. He just grunts.

"Finish your bandage," he says. I nod. He really will never change.

I watch Satsuki dab at his wounds first with the disinfectant, then with some burn ointment. The ninja stays perfectly still through it all, almost like a statue. It doesn't take long before my arms are covered in white bandages, cutting awkwardly against the hue of my skin.

"May we come in?" It's Yuuto, poking his head into the improvised infirmary. Satsuki nods. He steps in, followed by Nataku. After what happened, nobody felt apt to going back to our room on the tenth floor, so Satsuki set up two cot beds in a deserted hall. This is where Sakura came to get her injuries cleaned and bandaged. From what I've understood, she's now resting in one of the second floor common rooms, which has been vacated as our new temporary residence. As far as I know, Fai is with her. Where Syaoran-kun is concerned, nobody seems to have seen him since our conversation with the witch.

"Here you go," Yuuto says, handing me a flask of water. I just look at it, puzzled. "Oh, come on, this is what it's for, isn't it?" he laughs, then shrugs. "Not much point in having water if you don't drink it. Figured you two would be parched." Thankfully, I take the flask from him, but don't drink. He hands another to Kurogane, who nods in acknowledgement and chugs it down. I just stare down at mine, hesitanting. I feel like I'm about to drink the price of Sakura's pain and suffering. It's her hard-earned reward, true, but I can't feel glad that she got it. Besides, the water wasn't for us; it was for the people of the Government Building and the Tower. I have no right to drink.

"Aren't you thirsty?" Yuuto asks, frowning. "You should be, after all you've been through. Wouldn't want to make poor Satsuki deal with a dehydration case. She needs her rest, too." Kurogane's staring at me, like he's trying to force me to drink. With a sigh, I decide to take a sip, if only to make everyone feel better.

I didn't know I was thirsty before the water reached my tongue; and by then it was too late. I shudder as the cool water runs down my throat, so refreshing that soon I am gulping greedily, unable to stop until the flask is emptied to the last drop. My entire body feels cold, but a good, natural cold; the cold of a spring breeze on a warm day. I feel completely refreshed. Renewed, if in body only. When I stop, I am panting, my throat asking for more; I refuse it. I've already taken far more than I had wanted. Still, I sigh in contentment; I had no idea I was thirsty.

"There. Better, huh?" Yuuto asks while Nataku puts down a basin full of clear water in front of me.

"It's to wash," he says. When I look up to him, he shrugs. "I thought you deserved to get the blood off your face. After all," he continues, glancing at Kurogane, "we are indebted to you." The ninja grunts, and I stiffen.

"I didn't do anything for that water," I reply acidly. "It was Sakura." I refuse to take credit for something that was not my doing, especially since it brought so much pain to Sakura. This is not something to be proud of.

Nataku seems taken aback by my tone. "But you are the ones who struck the bargain with the witch," he says, "and you were going to pay the price. Even for that, aren't we allowed to be grateful?" I frown, looking away. I deserve his thankfulness even less than I do his kindness.

"I didn't do it for you," I say suddenly. It was for Fai. I agreed to this price for Fai, and that was it. I couldn't have cared less about them and their water. I have no right to be thanked for my selfishness.

The others take the news without flinching. "We know," Nataku replies calmly. "But whatever your reasons, without you we would have no water. So we have decided that you are entitled to a small portion of it to drink and wash. And if you won't accept that," he continues, rolling up his sleeve, "then I'll say it's for this." On his skin stands a purple bruise, circling twice around his arm like a serpent. I look at it for a second, wondering what he means, before I remember the worm-monster in desert, half a lifetime ago.

"Ah," is all I think to say, "the bruise isn't as bad as I thought it would be." Nataku remains unflinching, but Yuuto laughs aloud.

"Look, all Nataku is saying is that you owe him for that bruise," he says. "So make him happy and use the water, okay? Or else we'll be here for hours." I can see in Nataku's eyes that he is right. With a small grunt, I bend over to pick the basin and stand.

"Kurogane first," I say, heading for the ninja. His gaze stops me.

"Have you seen yourself?" he growls, silently daring me to take one more step in his direction. "Trust me, you need it more than I do." No, I haven't seen myself, and I didn't really plan to. I can feel the filth and blood peeling from my skin and that is enough for me. But I have to admit that now that his shirt is gone and his wounds bandaged, there is very little blood left on him. Maybe he's right. "Do you like being filthy, or do you just have a general disgust with accepting things from others?" he says, his gaze accusing me. I retreat.

"I've done nothing to deserve anything from anyone," I answer.

"And I have? But they're kind enough to give it to us. Say thank you and use it," he replies as Satsuki, Nataku and Yuuto watch us with interest. Defeated, I lay the basin on the ground and kneel next to it. Why is everybody so determined to make me take care of myself before the others?

Without looking, I plunge my hands in the water. Almost instantly it turns to pink as I scrub the blood, my blood, Fai's blood, Kurogane's blood, off my fingers and palms. I had almost forgotten the color of my skin. After this is done, I wait for the water to settle around my fingertips, denying the soothing effect of the water's contact. This is something I am being forced through, not something I can enjoy in any way. Besides, this is the water that kept me from jumping in after Syaoran. Without that, he might still be here.

When the water's edge finally settles into a smooth mirror, I have to double-check my reflection. I suck in a breath of surprise; this can't be me. The blood-caked hair and dark circles under wary eyes, the cut lip and the small trail of blood outlining my jaw, the pale skin freckled with filth and tear marks – I look like someone else. My eyes widden, showing red spiderweb veins around my irises. Is this what everybody else sees? A broken soul clinging desperatly to whatever's left of her?

Furiously, I splash water in my face and rub until I can touch the raw skin of my cheeks under my fingers, until the water is chocolate brown from blood and dirt and my face can no longer gaze back at me from its depths. I don't know what I look like now, but it must be better than the ghost I saw in there. Anything is better than that.

I give a small sigh, and the water ripples under my breath. I feel clean. Fresh. Healthy. I needed that.

I look up to Nataku. "Thank you," I say, and mean it.

XxX

Somehow, I knew he'd be here.

It wasn't as hard as I thought to walk down those stairs again. I still felt the tug of memories at my breast, but there was no longer an armour for it to crack open, only soft, suple flesh to attack. So I survived. And yes... I closed my eyes during most of it.

I try not to look too closely at the water below us, or think about the earth above our heads, pressing on us. Instead, I look to the opposite wall of the underground reservoir, so far away I can barely make it out.

"Is this where you've been all this time?" I ask. Syaoran-kun nods.

"Even though this is where everything happened, I find the water is still soothing, somehow," he says. I grunt. He smiles softly. "It was very brave of you to jump in after Fai-san and my other self, especially if you were so scared." I rest my chin on my fist and grunt again, unconvinced. He turns towards me, his features now completely solemn. "Have you seen Sakura-hime?" I shake my head.

"She's upstairs with Fai," I say, then correct myself. "Fai-san." The name feels wrong on my tongue. Syaoran-kun nods, as though this was explanation enough as for why I haven't seen her. "But Satsuki says she'll be fine with some rest," I continue, eager to give him some comfort at least. "The only thing she's not sure about is her left ankle, but she's pretty certain it won't get infected. The worst that can happen is that it takes several weeks to heal completely. In two days, with the proper rest and care, she'll be fit to travel again." He nods again.

"So we leave in two days?" he asks.

"That's the plan," I answer. There's no point in staying here any longer than necessary, especially since, with the Tower people moving in there's going to be even less room than there was when we arrived. Besides, I want to leave this wretched place behind as soon as possible.

"Do you know where Kurogane-san is?" Syaoran-kun asks. I nod.

"I think he went to check on Sakura. I'm not sure how much good that'll do, she's probably asleep."

"Maybe he wants to speak with Fai-san."

"Somehow, that's unlikely," I say bitterly, and Syaoran-kun retreats as soon as he realizes his mistake.

"That's not... what I meant was..." I lift a hand to stop him.

"It's okay," I say, trying a smile. "I know what you meant." The corners of my mouth lift pitifully, and I end up laughing. A bark-like, joyless laugh.

Syaoran-kun eyes me oddly. "Maybe you'd like to speak with Sakura-hime when she wakes up?" he suggests. It's my turn to frown.

"Why?" I mean, I do want to talk to her, but... I don't feel like there's a particular need. And I don't understand why he would care to suggest it. He shrugs, and already awkwardness is painting itself on his features.

"I just thought... it seemed to bother you, when she arrived... and she didn't... you know..." he blushes and looks down.

"When she acted like we didn't exist?" I continue for him. "Yeah, a little." As soon as the words pass my lips, I regret saying them. After all, she's been through a lot; I should cut her some slack. If she wants to be near Fai, if that's what conforts her the most, then I have no right to voice my opinions on that. "But, it's alright. I mean, it's been hard for her. This past day, you know," I add quickly, avoiding the mention of exactly what happened. No point in reminding him about it too. "After all that, she's allowed to be a little selfish, don't you think?" I look out, frowning. "I think everyone has the right to be a little selfish at this point," I whisper thoughtfully. Which is why I didn't protest when Kurogane went upstairs to Fai; if that's what he wants, I'll live with it. Even if I'm scared he'll just hurt himself that way.

"Even you?" Syaoran-kun asks. I turn to him. I open my mouth, but close it right away; I don't know what to answer.

"I've already been selfish," I finally say. "I've had my turn."

"Oh," Syaoran-kun says softly, looking down. "I see then." I try to smile again, with more success this time.

"Your turn to be selfish," I decide. "What do you want to do right now?" I know it will be hard for him in the next few weeks, but I don't want him to be lonely. As much as I can, I will forget his connection with Syaoran and treat him like a friend. My smile turns bittersweet. Even though it hurts a little to look at him, that's what I'll do.

His eyes widen, and he looks at me. Then his features grow sad again.

"You shouldn't smile just for my sake," he mutters.

"I'll smile for whoever's sake that I want," I reply, seriously. He nods shyly. "So, be selfish. What would you like?" There's a silence.

"I'd like for you to stay here with me a little while longer, if you don't mind," he says, folding onto himself and placing his chin on his knees. I nod. "Aisha," he adds after a moment's thought. For some reason, hearing my name from him doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would. I think... maybe I'm just getting used to thinking of him as a different person than Syaoran. But it still stings a little. Just enough to remind me that there's another boy, far away from here, who never got the chance to call me that.

A boy I almost wish were just plain dead. Because it would be easier to take.

Wouldn't it be easier to just be able to grieve and get it over with, instead of always wondering where he is, what happened to him, if he's alright, if he'll ever wake up to himself like Syaoran-kun said he might, or if he'll try to destroy us all when we're lucky enough to find him? Would it mean I'd stop feeling the pressure of his fingers on my neck, or the chill of his eyes on mine, or would it all still be there, waiting for my mind to turn back to him?

I shake my head, blocking away the thoughts. No more thinking. There's been enough crying for one day.

"Alright then, Syaoran-kun," I say, ripping the name from my lips, purposely. I will be friendly with him. Even if the ghost of Syaoran floats over him like a shroud.

"Thank you," he says simply, ignoring the deliberate manner in which I pronounced his name. "You know," he adds after a moment, "you don't have to speak to me or anything. It's strange, being around people again. So I'm not very confortable either," he admits with a joyless smile. "But it feels really nice just to sit here." I nod. That's right - he's spent so long kept away from everything, alone. It probably felt like the worst days of his life, like the world could not possibly throw more at him. And yet it ended. Eventually, he came here, and met us, and now he's ready to start again. It won't be easy, but I guess it's better. He seems to think so, at least.

Maybe this will end one day too, I think. After countless nights of waking up screaming, after days of powering through the motions to keep the tears at bay, after bloody banquets and hopeless searches, it just might end. Just like Syaoran's life with us. _No magic can last forever. _I look out into the distance.

The water chants its song, a never-ending whisper, hypnotic and gentle. I don't quite understand what it says, but I somehow know that they are soothing, calm words, almost appologetic. _Please don't hate us. We're sorry. _

I press my lips together. _I'm sorry too, _I answer softly.

From this vantage point, this place seems like it might go on forever. I know it doesn't, however. I know there's a place where the water laps up against another wall just like the one I am standing over, in the same wave-like pattern, like a cristal bell lullaby trying to lull me to sleep. Just like I know that there will one day be an end to all of this madness, one day where we might look back maybe not in laughter, but at least with the happiness of knowing that the hard part is over.

That day is there, somewhere in the distance. We can't see it, much less reach it, but it exists.

Or at least, that is what I tell myself.

XxX

She seems so breakable in her sleep. Like a porcelain doll about to shatter if you so much as look at her.

Her skin almost disappears under clean, white bandages, and her chest quivers like a small bird every time she breathes. Her face is covered in sweat, her skin so pale I can see the purplish veins criss-crossing over her muscles as I reach for her hand.

I wish I could help her, oh God I wish I could. Take away the pain, bring it into myself; I can, I've done it before. I could heal her, if I weren't so useless.

If Fai wasn't watching my every move.

I know that no matter how much I want to, I'll never be able to heal her as long as my previous failure is staring at me from the corner, like a vigilant bodyguard.

With a golden eye as vicious as a tiger's.

My fingers freeze just before they reach Sakura's. Fai relaxes like a cat finally deciding he will not pounce. From the corner of my eye, I see his eye slowly fade to the sky blue that I know. I bite my lip.

There's a line drawn where my hand has stopped. I can't cross it; he's watching.

"I could try to..." I finally say, trying with all my might to control my voice.

"It wouldn't change the fact that she could have died," he replies dryly, his eye resting on me like a sentence. I want to cry. It's true, but what was I supposed to do?

"It would change that she is suffering now," I counter softly. I know my chances of success are low even if I try, and completely null if Fai stays here, staring at me. Because there's that line I'm not allowed to cross if he's here. And there's the knowledge of the pain if I succeed for her what I've failed to do for him. But, so low as they are, there are chances that I'm ready to take.

He details me, the bandages on my arms, around my stomach, running up my legs, and yet the skin still too whole and untouched to please him. I can see him follow the curves of Sakura's scars on my own body, pondering the appearance I should have before him. I want to scream. _Hurt me then! If you want to see me bleed, I won't stop you._ But I know it wouldn't change a thing. There is no absolution in pain for me. No matter how much I bleed, I would attract nothing but his contempt. Distractedly, I find myself touching my right eye, the one I should have saved for him. If it were gone too, could I be forgiven?

His eye narrows. "What makes you think you could, Kazumi-san?" I bite my tongue and feel the blood come out, but I don't even taste it anymore. He's being mean. He didn't have to spit out my surname in the end of that sentence.

"You never know until you try," I say, almost pleading. I want to at least try to help her, and it doesn't matter if she wants my help or not.

"Trying isn't enough," he replies. I look again at Sakura. Why must she wear my scars? "And sometimes it's too much," he adds. I wince at the barely-disguised accusation. He's standing now, in the corner of my vision like a shadow. I turn to him, my arms coming up around my body as though to shield me from his words. As if his words weren't clear enough, his eye screams out a warning: _Get out now. Don't cross the line._

I whimper, holding back tears. Why must he hate me?

His lips stretch in a frozen smile. "I think you should rest now," he says. "There's nothing more you can do here." _Leave before you mess things up again. _

I take a deep breath. "She did this for you, you know," I try, a pitiful defence. He cocks his head to the side, the smile still there but the eye turned to gold again.

"I never asked for help," he replies wryly. I shudder. No, I won't be forgiven. Not for hurting him, and not for allowing Sakura to get hurt. Not even if I try.

I look outside, where the day has been blotted out by rainclouds. "I'm sorry," I whisper.

"For what?" For the first time, I can hear surprise in his voice.

"For trying," I say bitterly, trying to control the shaking of my lower lip. "For caring." I promised myself, when I came here, that I wouldn't cry. I turn once again to Fai. I fail at everything I do, don't I? Before I can see the expression on his face, I rush past him and out of the room.

I'm sorry I let out that last bit. It was not my place to talk to him like that, like he's done something wrong. After all, there is indeed a line there, glowing like an ember, ready to burn me if I cross it.

But that line, I drew it with my own hand.

XxX

The day is black as night, and the sky is crying fire.

I find Kurogane, standing like a statue under the rain. Without even thinking, I wrap my arms around his waist and press myself to his back. The rain drips through my bandages and into my wounds, burning the flesh. I don't need words to understand that he tried crossing the line too, and failed. I fleetingly wonder if he can feel my heart breaking through my chest, shattering into a thousand painful shards.

I feel just like this sky; pierced open, pouring out its guts to the dry earth like tears, shedding out pain for all those who approach me. I can't appologize to Fai for saving his life. No matter how much I know I hurt him, I also know that I couldn't have let him die. And I know that it's selfish, but it's his fault too. He didn't have to make me care.

A tear passes my eyelids and runs down my cheek. I squeeze Kurogane harder, and hear him groan as I touch his wounds. In response, I feel his fingers gripping my arms and press hard. I bite my lip and try not to cry out from the pain and the burning. Tacitely, we understand.

Sometimes, it feels better to hurt than to accept that we are idiots.

XxX

Somehow, the sun is shining today. Sitting on a rock, I watch the steady stream of people walking towards the Government Building, stretching like a snake across the desert. Some carry children, others support elderly family members, almost all of them haul their pitiful belongings in a bag over their shoulder. Some are injured, all are dirty. For some reason, most of them wear a triumphant smile under the warm sun, walking towards their new life. There is hope in their step, looking forward to a better time of peace and prosperity, perhaps even happiness.

I envy them.

I look down at my own feet, swinging back and forth in emptiness. We are travelling towards a new life as well, but there is only dread waiting for us.

I haven't really spoken to Sakura since she came back. She's slept a lot in the past two days, and when she was awake, Fai was there. I was barely able to slip in a greeting and to say I was happy she was feeling better, and have her reply that she was glad I finally had my wounds treated, and then I was no better than thrown out of the room. I haven't spoken to Fai either; he tries to act relaxed around Kurogane and I, smiles so fakely I want to hit him, but he can't fool anyone. He doesn't joke around anymore, doesn't tease anybody - not even Sakura - and when he thinks we're not looking, he locks himself in a brooding daze. Actually, the only ones I've spoken to are Syaoran-kun, Mokona, Satsuki and Kurogane. Everyone else seems too scared to even approach me, and I assume they must be right to do so; I haven't slept since that day, so I must look terrible. I can barely stand without collapsing, my eyes can't stay open without great concentration, I have a pounding headache that just won't leave - and I can't sleep. No matter how hard I try, I just can't. Not for more than a few minutes anyways; I always feel like someone will attack me if I let my guard down and I wake up in sweat, panting. I've been living in and out of a daze lately, more often than not the hours just rolling off my back like water off a rock, eroding so slowly that the traces of its passage are invisible to the naked eye. The lack of sleep has kept me confortably numb - nothing like the ice, but just enough to keep me from thinking too much about things I would rather never see again.

"You tired?" I jump at the voice, turning around to see Fuuma standing next to me, smiling. I grimace at the sudden change of light in my eyes. He chuckles. "That bad, huh?" I grunt.

"What do you want?"

"Well, I was coming here to say my goodbies to you," he says, "and those two, of course." He gestures towards Kamui and Subaru, standing a way off, near the entrance to the Government Building. They're ready to leave too, from what I've heard. Today at the latest.

"Alright," I say, looking away. "Goodbye." He starts laughing. I pointedly stare out at the sky; I don't want to talk to him. If it wasn't enough that he's Seishiro's brother, he's friends - or at least tries to be - with Kamui. Besides, all he does seems to have no motivation - I can't help but think he has a secret agenda in all of this. Just like everyone else.

"You really hate my brother, don't you," he states, still laughing. I grunt.

"He killed Fai-san, Syaoran and I," I say simply, "and the only reason we didn't die was because we were in a virtual world. He didn't know that until we got out." My words are bitter, especially because I've spoken their names aloud - Fai-san is too stiff on my tongue, Syaoran sends my mind whirling down a dark path I never want to see again - and also because my hatred of Seishiro still rings true. If we meet again, I _will_ roast him alive.

Fuuma's laughter finally dies out. "I'm sorry," he says, although it's obvious he isn't. "Did he seem well?" This time I turn around, glaring with all the might of my tired eyes.

"Did he seem _well_?" I repeat, going up at least an octave as I do so. My heart is pumping fire into my veins. "Well, he seemed to be doing better than the rest of us, since we were either dead or being beaten to a pulp! How's that for being _well!_" I jump off my rock and start storming off, but I stumble and have to catch myself from falling. "Augh, damnit!" I'm so dizzy...

"So he's still holding on, huh? I thought he'd still be alive. Although, if he had to beat you to a pulp before he could pin you, it means he's finally slowing down," Fuuma says with glee, as though I hadn't just yelled at him. I shoot him a glance over my shoulder.

"Do you have a problem?" I ask, frankly irritated. "If the only thing you want is to talk about the man who nearly killed me and my friends, then now would be the time to say goodbye." Fuuma's smile falls a little.

"Well, I thought I'd get news from my brother where I can, seeing as we don't meet much," he answers. I say nothing. Of course I understand, but he should have known better than to come to me. "But really, though, I'm sorry he came after you. I know how... overbearing he can get." I let out a hollow laugh.

"s'that all?" I want him to leave now, because I don't trust myself with walking anymore.

"Hm, not quite. I wanted to ask what you possibly could have done to Kamui to get him so worked up about you?" he asks. I frown.

"He's worked up?" It's not like I've seen him much, but even looking at him now he seems as aloof as ever. Fuuma chuckles again.

"He glares at you behind your back and refuses to walk in the same hallways. He won't say it, but I think he's secretly impressed. I'm jealous," he admits with a sheepish smile.

I shruged. "I kicked him, that's all," I say. An impressed whistle from Fuuma.

"You're good," he comments.

"What's going on here?" a gruff voice calls from behind me. I turn to find Kurogane borring a hole in Fuuma's back with his scowl. His breath seems a little heavy. "I heard you screaming," he adds for me, already moving towards Fuuma as though asking if he should pummel him to the ground. I shake my head. Kurogane's been even more protective than usual these past few days, to the point where I sometimes feel like yelling at him to leave me alone and that I can take care of myself. A few days ago, I would have. Maybe tomorrow or the day after, when I get some sleep, I will.

"It's fine," I say, finally leaving my ancre and walking towards Kurogane. I pass Fuuma without a glance.

"Everyone's gathering downstairs," the ninja tells me. I nod. "You think you can handle it?"

"I'm fine," I say. It's not the memories I fear now but the future, and I will find that one whether I go down those stairs or not.

"Hey, you two," Fuuma calls just as we start to make our way to the Government Building. We both stop. I turn around; Kurogane doesn't. "You guys probably won't want me saying this in front of everybody else, so I'll just say it now: if you keep fighting for each other, you'll always make it out. You two survived my brother, so there can't be much to bring you down. Remember that; maybe it'll help." With a grunt, Kurogane grabs my arm and drags me away as I keep staring, puzzled, at the figure of the grinning man that I hated only minutes ago, and who just tried to offer us a thought to hold onto when things get dark.

XxX

"Thank you, for healing the wounds of Sakura and the others," Mokona says from atop the princess' shoulder, to an embarrassed Satsuki. The underground reservoir feels fuller than it's been in a few days. There's all of us, of course, and also a small delegation from the Government Building, appointed to see us off. I'm standing next to Kurogane, very discreetly leaning against him in case I doze off standing or stumble again. He doesn't seem to notice, but his arm is casually thrown back against my hip, ready to catch me if I fall. He hasn't scolded me yet on my inability to sleep, but even if he had I wouldn't have been able to do anything. Beside us is Syaoran-kun, sinking onto himself like he wants to disappear from our gathering. Poor boy; he's determined to act differently than Syaoran, convinced that if he does anything like the boy we will hate him. He hasn't told me as much, but it's easy to see. On the other side is Fai, and I try very hard not to look at him. His presence nevertheless reaches me, cold and icy, with the faintest trace of lilac. He's refused to drink anything since he's been turned, although I heard Kurogane offer several times. Now he looks as bad as I do, but he still refuses to have any of our blood. I'm dreading the next few days, and the possibility that he might be purposely starving himself to death has never really left my mind.

"I couldn't really perform real medicine with what we have here," Satsuki appologizes, looking down. "Especially that eye, and that leg." She won't even gaze at us as she says this, but we all know what she's talking about. Sakura's leg isn't completely healed yet, and Satsuki's been openly doubtful as to whether it would ever completely regain its flexibility. I , on my part, refuse to make any assumptions about the future before they become fact.

Sakura smiles graciously, but without warmth. "Not at all. Thank you very much," she says with a small bow.

"Kamui and Subaru as well!" Mokona cries, suddenly jumping to the nearest vampire. "And Fuuma too!" Kamui is as sullen as ever.

"No problem," he says blankly while Subaru smiles.

"I didn't really do anything," he admits sheepishly. Fuuma just grins and says nothing.

"Oh, sorry about the compass," Sakura says as though she has only just remembered.

"It's alright," Fuuma replies with good humour. "It was Yuuko-san who ordered it, but she said it didn't matter if it breaks. That's how I've paid the price to travel to all these different worlds - once in a while Yuuko-san will ask me to perform an errand for her like this. It's a little like paying in installements, isn't it?" His expression goes a little more serious. "But I have another promise as well." A moment passes by, in which he seems to remember something, and pulls out the feather from under his cloak. He hands it to Sakura with a smile. "A feather just like this is with my older brother, right? That could be very hard for you. So don't worry, kay?" I suddenly wonder what kind of promise is tying him to his travels: is it like mine, a home to return to? Or is he searching for something for himself? Someone? His smile remains silent.

"Thank you very much," Sakura whispers, taking her feather gravely. I haven't seen her much, but what I have seen wrings my heart. She used to be so cheerful, now it seems like smiling hurts too much to even try. Maybe we're all the same now, but her transformation hits the hardest.

"Will it be alright?" Fuuma asks. It sounds like a final chance to change her mind, but it's much too late for that now; everything she's already done in the past few days has been for this. Refusing now would be senseless.

She nods determinedly. "Yes," she answers calmly. I blink and have to forcefully pry my eyes open. I know Kurogane is there but I still don't want to fall here, in front of all these people. Especially not at a moment like this.

Softly, almost like a child with her favourite teddy bear, Sakura presses the glass container to her chest. She looks so frail, so breakable and soft that for a second I want to run to her and hold her too, before I remember the line I still haven't been allowed to break. Slowly, she walks towards the basin, her lips pressed together resolutely. With a flourish of the arms, she drops the feather in.

I watch as it falls, almost in slow motion, towards the chanting waves. With a splash it disappears, but I follow it still through the ripples, the break in the water's song, the soothing lullaby, until it hits the bottom. I feel the water probe, twirl and turn this new being, adjusting its melody with grace, then settling back. Almost at the same time, I feel Mokona's magic deploying itself around us.

"Whaaa? You're leaving already?" Kazuki cries out, obviously not aware of our departure today. "At least wait until your wounds get better!" Still reeling from the water's soft lullaby and finding it increasingly difficult to keep my eyes open, I barely notice Nataku holding him back. Kusanagi yells something over the wind, and Sakura nods.

"Yes," she says. As the magic begins to lift us, I'm suddenly gripped with doubt. I can almost see it now, the black hole under our feet, and the very last step I am about to take before hurtling in the unknown. I'm dangling over the edge, looking directly into the future, and I can't see a thing.

Kurogane's arm comes around my shoulders as I feel my knees buckles. I'm so scared. Even knowing that I'm not alone isn't enough to reassure me as the world disappears to make way for the black hole. I take a deep breath and try to calm the beating of my heart. I clench my fists to prepare for the impact.

I gasp as the new world comes into view. Oh my God...

Darkness.

A single eye opens, carrying emptiness and death in its irises. A small laugh rises from the silence.

_Found you._


	43. Fire Keep Burning

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TRC!**

**Alright, so I admit this is an improvement on my last chapter... once again, sorry about that HUGE delay This is a bit of a transition chapter, so I'm not sure how it turned out, but I'm hoping it has some good moments in it at least... Anyways, review! ^_^ I have the rumblies that only reviews will satisfy... **

**P.S. Am I the only one who can totally get in the mood to write a fight scene while listening to Rumour Has It by Adele? Is that weird?**

**XxX**

I wake up with a start, panting, to look at the night around me. The hand pressed against my mouth to suppress my cry is covered in sweat, and my coat is suddenly too tight around my body as I struggle to find a familiar anchor around me.

Finally I find Syaoran-kun's hand and grab it, squeezing it tight until the boy groans in his sleep. Slowly, painfully, I manage to calm my breathing. I'm not sure how long I can do this. I know letting her in is my only option, but I can't bring myself to do it. Not with that eye staring at me.

Although I can't see them, I know the shape of the ruins around us. Every one of our shelters for the past two days has been in the remains of a building just like this one. We travel by day, mostly, trying to find any sign of life in this barren, war-struck wasteland. I thought Tokyo was badly broken when we were there, but at least they had fifteen years to rebuild a shaky society. Here, the fires that still burn are our only beacons of light in the darkness, swallowing up the remains of houses, cities. And people too, I'm sure.

It doesn't matter anyhow; the fire has swallowed everything. Everything here, the stones, the sky, the occasional splash of blood on the ground, scream out fire.

Scream out _him._

Kurogane said I fell asleep just as we landed here. That I had some sort of fit, screaming and contorting myself in my sleep. He hasn't said any more, and I'm not sure I want to know; the others haven't mentioned it. Either they don't know what to say, or they simply don't care.

All I remember about that is the pain, caught in a red haze I simply had to escape. The smell of ashes, ice, blood. The eye staring at me, promising death. Somehow she can only get to me in my sleep, and I gave her the opening she'd been craving for three days. I could feel her absolute glee over the beating of my heart.

She knows where I am. And she's moving closer.

Those are just dreams, I try to tell myself. They're not real. That voice is all in my head. So is that eye, and the beating of my heart when I saw it, and the panic swelling up in my chest right now. Except that they're not.

It's real. And she won't let go. Every time I close my eyes, every time I try to fall asleep, she's there, waiting to pounce.

I don't know I long I can keep her out.

Syaoran-kun shifts in his sleep, grunting as I keep crushing his fingers into my palm. Slowly, I force my hand to relax and slip off, praying that I haven't woken him. It's bad enough as it is, without having to drag the others into this.

I keep hoping that if we move on, it will slow her down, confuse her. Perhaps give me a respite; the nightmares always seem to take a few days to come back when we change worlds. But not yet, not until Sakura decides so. Not until we have the confirmation that Syaoran is no longer here.

He was here, there's no doubt about it. To the scent of ashes is mixed the sweet perfume of lilac, and the fire which this world screams out bears the signature of Hien. So Sakura refuses to leave if there's the slightest chance he might still be somewhere in this world, and I can't say a thing about it. Because I agreed to follow her.

I blindly stumble to my feet, unable to stay unmoving for another minute. I'm scared of falling asleep again. I can feel her at the edge of my consciousness, waiting patiently for me to let my guard down so she can get me. I need to breathe.

I find the door from memory, careful not to step on any of the sleeping forms on the ground. Fai is slouched near the door, snoring softly. He must have taken over from Kurogane and fallen asleep. I sigh. We always had some place to stay before, not just a half-destroyed shack in a burning country, and we have no idea what's out there. So we organized a guard schedule when we stop to sleep – just in case. Of course none of us are fit for staying awake, especially not after the kind of travelling we do, but everyone has insisted to be granted a shift. Even Fai, who seems half-asleep all the time now. He needs blood, but he won't admit it. His remaining eye is rimmed in an unhealthy shade of grey, and as much as he tries to he can't hide the constant tremor in his hands. It's no wonder he's fallen asleep on his shift. I stifle an urge to brush the bangs out of his face and instead step out of the shack.

I can never really remember the nightmares. I can only recall brief flashes of colour, smells, mostly. Fire. Snow. And fear. A fear so great that my airway constricts and the scream I try to let out instead chokes like a dying animal. So pressing that my very bowels feel like they're being torn to pieces. And then there's that eye, ever-present. The urge to run away from it, into safety. The desperate understanding of not knowing where safety is.

I don't know how this works, but for some reason she couldn't tell exactly where I was before now. And now she'd be able to pinpoint my position on a map. I don't even know what she wants from me. Or rather, I know exactly what she wants, and it terrifies me. She wants me dead.

There's a light outside, one that doesn't come from the fires. It's softer, a light blue instead of a scorching red, and emanating from around the corner of the building. I frown and widdle the gun at my side. To be safe, I pull it out as I slowly walk towards the light. I have a sense of recognition even before I turn the corner, that this light is not threatening so much as intriguing, and not from its use but from its presence here. Now. In the middle of the night.

"Sakura?" I ask, surprised, at the princess looking to me in alarm. The Dimensions Witch's cold eyes glance at me from her circle, but she doesn't otherwise react. I can see from here Mokona sleeping in Sakura's lap, completely oblivious to the ray of light emanating from the jewel on his forehead. "What's going on?" I steal a distrusting look towards Yuuko, and a puzzled one at Sakura. Why is she talking to the witch while the rest of us are sleeping?

"Aisha..." the princess starts, visibly unsure of what to say. Her eyes keep going from me to the gun in my hand and back. "I was simply... I couldn't sleep," she finally admits, almost sheepishly. "I-I didn't want to wake any of you, so I came outside. I wanted to have a word with Yuuko-san to... to..."

"Sakura-chan and I were discussing of a wish she wants granted," the witch suddenly interrupts. Her tone is even and confident, a clear break from Sakura's babbled explanation. "I believe we were at the chapter of payment, but as it seems that so far no suitable price can be reached..."

"What wish?" My voice sounds harsh to my own ears, but I'm taken aback. This is the first time I've heard of this wish, and I'm both dreading and hoping it's a way to bring Syaoran back. Hoping because I still want to believe there's a way. Dreading because I don't want to see Sakura more damaged than she already is if things don't go as planned.

"I... Aisha, I... was wondering if there was a way to bring this country back to how it was before," she confesses. "Because Syaoran-kun came through here, I thought... it would only be fair that we give them at least a way to rebuild." I look to her in surprise. I have to admit that I wasn't expecting that. The princess seems to have suddenly gained confidence, and now her eyes rest on me as though daring me to question her story. I sigh, holstering the gun.

"That's true," I say, "but if the witch says you can't pay..."

"I'll find something," Sakura assures me, pressing her lips together determinedly. Once again, I am taken aback. There's something about this whole situation that seems wrong.

Yuuko gives us a small bow of the head. "I shall be waiting for your finding, then," she says, and her magic circle vanishes. Sakura sighs.

"I'll find something," she repeats, more for herself this time. Distractedly, she pets Mokona. I sit next to her.

"I'm sure you will," I say, still puzzled. There's an awkward silence. "You said you couldn't sleep..." I start, "is it because your ankle hurts? I know we said we would try to save the painkillers for later, but if it's keeping you from sleep-"

"My ankle feels fine," she cuts me, a little dryly. "But thank you for your concern. And may I ask why you are awake at this hour, Aisha? You deserve some sleep." She sounds almost annoyed at me. I don't know how to explain it.

I turn my gaze to the ground. "I rolled on a sharp rock and it woke me up," I lie. "Since Fai-san fell asleep, I thought I'd take over and take a look outside. That's how I found you." I can't tell them about the nightmares. It would only worry them, or worse, it wouldn't at all. I'm not sure which one I dread more. "So how about you try to get some more sleep?" I offer, affecting a half-cheerful smile. "I'll wake you for your guard shift later." Sakura seems thoughtful for a moment.

"Alright," she finally says, standing up with Mokona cradled in her arms. "Good night."

"Sleep tight," I reply without conviction, a force of habit. I watch the princess leave until she disappears into the shack, her motivations still unclear. Then I look up to the sky and breathe in the smell of fire and blood. I don't really want to think about that right now. I don't really want to think about anything, especially not the nightmares, or the location of Syaoran, or the change in the way Sakura talks.

I look on to the blazes in the distance, knowing very well that I'm not going to wake the princess for her shift, or anyone for that matter, until morning comes. They all need to sleep, and I'm grateful for the excuse not to shut my eyes. I can barely make out the landscape around me, but the smell of decay in this world doesn't lie. Against the cold wind I pull my coat around me, shuddering.

I just want to leave this place.

XxX

We found the first people in what must be a ten-mile radius. A small boy and an old woman, huddled into the rocks as though encrusted there. We might have walked right by them if we hadn't been looking their way.

She is all crunched up like an old piece of paper, watching us pass with distrustful eyes who alight in rage when she sees Syaoran-kun. The small boy is a little more forward, actually approaching us. He stops short when he catches a glimpse of Syaoran-kun, but he doesn't shy from me when I step out. Both are covered in grime and sooth, pale and skinny with dark circles under their eyes, visibly starving. Slowly, so as not to alarm them, I pull out a few dry rations from my satchel.

"Here you go," I say, giving them to the boy. The old woman opens her mouth to say something, but he's already taken them and is munching like he has never seen food before in his life. I can't help but pity them. A child shouldn't have to see food as such a luxury.

"You should leave," the old woman finally croaks, looking at me. Her eyes run over me, studying me. I notice that she nurses her left arm against her chest.

"I can help with that," I offer, stepping forward tentatively. She says nothing, probably too tired to protest. I kneel in front of her. Her arm is visibly broken, bruised and crooked. I'm about to pull out my belt to use for a splint, when I feel it happen.

My magic comes to life with a surge of light, without me asking too hard, without my cries and my screaming. My eyes widen as my hands grasp the old woman's arm by reflex. This shouldn't be happening.

Somehow, she doesn't seem surprised. Maybe this used to be a magical country. But her gaze sharpens and she locks her eyes determinedly into mine. Her eyes are like rivers, I think. So deep, almost liquid in the way they change from suspicion to something else. There's a sadness there that seems indelible. I shudder. How many members of her family have these eyes see die?

No, I'm not allowed to pity her. Not after all she went through, she does not deserve pity. She deserves respect.

Her expression seems to soften. "Take him with you," she suddenly pleads. At first I don't understand, but her eyes speak for her. That little boy is the only thing she has left. And she knows that she will not live long enough to see him grow up. Reluctantly, maybe not now, maybe not soon, but eventually she will have to leave him alone. And she cannot bring herself to that.

Tears pool in my eyes as I understand all of this. As I see the trust she puts in a complete stranger to keep her only family safe. As I know the answer I have to give her.

"I can't," I say, shaking my head. "We're... we can't. I'm sorry." Her eyes die a little and she pulls back. I bite my lips. I can't bear to just leave her hanging like this. "What will happen to you?" I ask. She shrugs, looking away. She doesn't care as long as he is safe. I look at the others, but they give no help. This is entirely my decision.

I take her hand and squeeze it. "Until we find others," I tell her. It's decided. No matter what the others say afterwards, we are taking him with us at least until then.

The old woman nods, a new gleam in her eyes. "Thank you."

XxX

Now the little boy hangs onto me, sniffling, as we make our way through the wasteland. It wasn't easy to get him away from the old woman, but she hugged him and talked to him softly until he finally stopped crying. He now refuses to let go of my hand; if I need it freed for whatever reason, he then hangs to my leg and makes it practically impossible for me to walk. This slows me – us – considerably, but nobody has said a word about it. Not even Sakura, who I was sure, would be the first to suggest taking him with us. It's like nobody talks anymore.

I can't get that woman's eyes out of my head. I asked her if she wanted to come with us, but she simply shook her head. Even with her arm healed, she was not fit for travel across this barren land. That's why she couldn't find others herself. That's why she had to ask for help. Without thinking of her own safety.

How will she find food? Water? Shelter? How will she bear being so alone? It's what bothers me the most, that loneliness. The other dangers existed even with the boy there; but being – dying – alone, how can she even accept that idea?

The boy trips over a rock and hangs onto me with a cry. I smile sadly. _So he doesn't have to. _

"Are you alright?" Now that I look closer, he seems slightly familiar. "Did you get hurt?" He shakes his head, keeping his mouth determinedly shut. "Are you thirsty?" I offer, holding up my water bottle. Still without a word, he reaches for it. I let him drink his full, silently calculating how much water we have left. Not much, and we haven't found a spring or river since coming here. Soon we'll be running out, and I'm not sure we'll be able to stay as long as Sakura hopes.

"We'll stop here," Kurogane suddenly decides, designating a sort of circular hollow formed by the ruins and sitting atop of a rock. A nearby fire provides warmth. Fai helps Sakura to a seat, then joins her. Syaoran hobbles over to another rock, and lets himself fall graciously. It's because of the kids that we stop so often; one and the other's legs haven't completely healed yet. They're not the only ones with unhealed wounds – heck, Kurogane and I are still practically covered in bandages – but the only ones who need frequent rest because of it.

"Here, sit," I tell the little boy, nestling myself between two boulders. Still holding on to my water bottle, he sits on my lap and leans against me. I'm taken aback by his familiarity.

"Uh...what's your name?" I ask. It's not the first time I do, but he hasn't spoken since leaving the old woman.

"'nthony," he mumbles between two sips, then hands me back the bottle. My eyes widen in shock as I unthinkingly push it back to him, and I'm suddenly prey to a horrible feeling.

"Do you... have a friend named Elizabeth, Anthony?" I ask, my voice trembling slightly. The child becomes morose.

"G'andma said 'lizbeth's gone," he answers sadly. I know now, I know why his face seemed so familiar.

Without being sure of what I'm doing, I wrap my arms around him and hug him close. "I'm sorry," I whisper, so low only he can hear. "I'm so sorry." But I know that this time I can't promise that we'll find Elizabeth, and that everything will be alright. My heart breaks at that thought. This fairytale won't have a happy ending.

He starts crying. "Did G'andma send me 'way 'cause she d'dn't want me an'more?" he sobs, resting closer to me. I shake my head, fighting back tears myself.

"No, not at all," I murmur in his ear. "She wanted us to help you. So we can bring you to find other people, so they can keep you safe."

"So you'll leave too, Mis'sus?" he asks pitifully. I hold him tighter.

"You'll be better with the others, trust me. But... I'll say goodbye, alright? I promise. On my favourite teddy." He looks at me, sullen and dark.

"'kay, but you p'omised," he agrees. Then his small hand comes up and distractedly tugs at a lock of my hair. "Your hair's a weird colour, d'you know that?"

XxX

I help Anthony down what must be the remains of a road, carrying him over the most treacherous rubbles so he doesn't get hurt. Night is almost here now, and the fires grow brighter as the sky grows dark, flickering candle lights of destruction. I dread the impending camping, and the sleep I know will come with it. I have a pounding headache from the walk and lack of rest, but I don't let myself complain about it. I think of Anthony's grandmother, surely alone and cold and hungry in the falling darkness, and I know that I can't feel sorry for myself. If she can still sacrifice herself after all she's been through, then I can take this journey without protest.

The rubble under my feet suddenly gives way, and I find myself hurtling towards the ground, Anthony crying out in surprise beside me. When my already scraped knees hit the sharp stones, soon followed by my palms, I can't help but grunt.

I close my eyes for a second, pushing away the pain of the new scrapes I can feel raw and bleeding under me. When they open again, two hands are grabbing me under the arms and lifting me upwards. I scramble to my feet quickly, searching for Anthony's hand again. I turn around to thank Kurogane, but I stop short and suck in a sharp breath. Behind me isn't the ninja, and it wasn't him that helped me up. It was Fai.

The wizard stands there, his eye scanning quickly over me and Anthony, visibly truly studying the boy for the first time. Then, suddenly, he meets my eye for the first time in days. I almost jump from the shock.

"Here." He hands me his water bottle. "You'll need it." I take it hesitantly.

"Fai-san..." Before I can say anything, he's already gone, brushing past me to continue our incessant trek through this burning city. I stand where I am, unmoving, staring at the full water bottle in my hand. So he hasn't been drinking this either. I don't know why, but I assumed vampires still drank water.

"You 'kay Mis'us?" Anthony asks worriedly, and I notice Kurogane's shadow above me. I turn to the boy, then the ninja, with what I hope to be a convincing smile.

"Everything's fine," I say, holster the water bottle, and follow the group.

XxX

For an hour now we have been walking through swirling smoke that seems to thicken with every step we take. Normally we might have attempted to go around it, but Sakura wants to know if Syaoran is still here, and that means following the trail of destruction as best as we can.

"Is it big?" Kurogane asks me, obviously referring to the fire we are advancing towards.

"According to you?" I reply, this simple intake of air causing me to cough. My throat and lungs are burning. Beside me, Anthony is holding a hand to his mouth in a vain attempt to block the smoke. He's a veritable siphon; even Fai's water bottle has nearly disappeared through his mouth. Although I can't blame him, with all the smoke around us. "Here," I say, pulling his shirt up over his nose. It should work better than his fingers. If only for him and his wellbeing I would have protested the decision to keep going towards this fire, but there was no room for discussion in Sakura's eyes. I'm determined to uphold the promise I made to that old woman about keeping him safe until we find others. I owe her as much. And besides, he's Anthony; I can't leave him alone.

Through the smoke I can make out the light of the flames, like an unnatural sunrise in front of us.

"Oh my-" It's Syaoran-kun, arriving at the top of a ridge. I can't see his face, but his sudden stop clearly indicates that something is wrong.

Sakura reaches him and freezes as well, but says nothing. I finally climb the last rock with Anthony in tow, and almost immediately pull the boy against me so that he can't see. My eyes open wide and tears start prickling in them, although I can't be sure they're exclusively from the smoke and ashes floating in the air.

As far as the eye can see, things are burning. That was the part we knew, the sight we were expecting. But we couldn't have predicted the veritable legion of corpses at our feet, in a scene of carnage reminiscent of Tokyo. Blood everywhere, impaled and dismembered limbs and still more blood, its stench polluting the air. Nobody says anything, but we all recognize the slash marks on the body closest to us. Two, crossed like the mark over a treasure on a young man's back, deep and precise and clean.

Hien.

Syaoran.

A sob breaks the crackling of the fire to our left. There's the shadow of a young girl, kneeling amongst the flames, wailing through the air.

"Why... WHY?" she cries, not noticing us. Anthony starts to squirm in my grasp.

"What is it, Mis'us?" I swallow, trying to keep a straight face in all of this.

"If it weren't for that feather..." the girl continues, her voice broken by sobs. "If it weren't... then he wouldn't have come... then... something like this... WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED!" Her last is a cry of agony, ringing across the burning city. Even if the fire does not touch her, I have the crushing feeling that she is being consumed by the flames. For a moment I think I can see a red moon, full and ripe like a fruit for picking, and shadows dancing around a fire underneath it while screams echo through the night.

Anthony manages to slip between my arms, distracting me. His entire body freezes, and his hands are reaching, clawing, desperately hanging onto me in the next moment.

"Wha..." he whimpers. I blink, hugging the boy against me. The moon is gone, but it seemed so real, that for a moment I thought...

Other, smaller shapes move towards the girl in the flames. Children. The first reaches her, puts an arm around her shoulders. Another looks up, sees us. I see his eyes widen with shock, and then narrow with hate when his gaze falls on Syaoran-kun.

"IT'S HIM!" he yells, pointing a finger to the boy. "He's the one who took the feather and ran away!" Soon all the children are running towards us, screaming.

"He destroyed this country!" The first stone flies through the air and hits Syaoran-kun on the cheek. The boy's eyes widen, but he doesn't move. I stumble to him in alarm, but Anthony still clings to me frantically, terrified. It doesn't take long for the stones to be raining, incessantly, as the children scream their hate and loss.

"Give them back! Give everyone back!" Syaoran-kun closes his eyes and stays immobile, biting his lip. He must think it's his fault, because it was his clone that caused it. He must think he deserves this.

Suddenly, a body throws itself between Syaoran-kun and the horde of children stoning him. Sakura raises her arms to protect her face, pushing Syaoran-kun back.

"To the next world please!" she calls out to Mokona, as a distressed Syaoran-kun tries to shield her as best as he can from the stones that keep raining on them.

"O... okay!" Mokona answers, and with alarm I notice the familiar magic rising in the air. The winds grow, twirling around us like a violent tempest. My eyes fall on Anthony, still clutching my arm. No, it's too soon, I can't leave him like this...

"We're sorry," I hear Sakura say, but my gaze doesn't leave the little boy at my side. I try to resist but I can't stop Mokona's magic from surrounding me, gnawing at my substance, sending me away. Anthony cries out in alarm, trying in vain to hold my hand as it turns to smoke. He raises his eyes to me, and I see tears roll on his cheeks.

"Ah... no..." I can't leave him, I said I'd watch over him until I found him a safe place to stay, I promised his grandmother I wouldn't leave him before I did, I told him I would say goodbye...

I feel myself disappear as I try one last time to grab his hand. The world becomes dark, and the next thing I know I'm standing next to Kurogane on a busy sidewalk, people pushing me from all sides and incapable of detaching my gaze from the emptiness at my side. A wail escapes my lips, but nobody hears it.

Nobody ever hears what I say.

XxX

I sit in silence at the counter of the small bar, painstakingly deciphering the writing on the chalkboard announcing the menu. This country's writing is similar to that of Hanshin, but with just enough differences to make its reading difficult.

This bar is gritty and dark, but it's the first place we could find that wasn't packed to the brim with drunken-looking men and half-clad women. I let my eyes run over my surroundings distractedly. The chairs are an eclectic mix of plastic and metal, hard and uncomfortable. Rock music plays dimly in the background, from a beaten speaker hung high above the bar, which the barman hums dreamily to. The lamps are dusty and an entire wall is covered in posters announcing a chess tournament, while the low hum of conversation rings behind me. This hardly seems like the best place to start, but it's better than nothing.

I can't stop thinking about Anthony. The last thing I remember of him is two large brown eyes drowned in tears, pleading with me to stay. A hand trying desperately to find its place in mine. A cry, one piercing cry through my heart, a question, a protest...

_Why are you leaving me?_

Because Sakura asked Mokona to take us away, because the fur-ball obeyed, because both had forgotten about Anthony and my decision to take care of him until we found him another place to stay. Because Sakura finally had her confirmation that Syaoran was no longer in that world, and nothing else mattered. I didn't matter, and neither did the little boy in my arms. The princess had what she wanted.

"Are you gonna order something, sweat'eart?" The voice makes me jump. The barman stands in front of me, leaning against the grey counter and smiling amiably.

"Ah... yes," I say, slowly emerging from my daydream. I take a moment to find my words, pushing my bangs away from my eyes. "I just have a few questions first..." He doesn't seem too pleased about that, but says nothing and keeps his smile.

"An' what is it you wanna know?" he asks. I take a deep breath.

"Would you know a place where we could rent a room for the night?" I start. His eyes search behind me, to the table where the others are seated.

"The five of you?" I nod. He smiles. "You look like you're all in a band, dress'd like that," he comments. The corners of my mouth lift, but I can't find any humour in the situation. "There's a cheap motel down the street," he continues, probably sensing my reserve. "I take it you're don't 'ave much money. It's alright for a night or two, if you don't mind bugs too much."

"Thanks," I say. "Just one more thing before I order..." I place my satchel on the counter. "Would you be open to trading? Maybe give us a bit of money too, if you can? In exchange for goods, of course," I add. He squints down at the brown satchel.

"What's in'ere?" he asks, lifting the flap suspiciously. I open it and lay down all my possessions in front of him. Then, as a second thought, I add my gun and its holster to the pile. The barman examines the weapon with interest, skims over the dry rations and the water, and toys with the first-aid supplies. "You guys' been on a pretty hard journey?" All I do is nod.

"And there's this too," I say, taking off my coat. "It can resist acid, if you're interested." He lifts an eyebrow.

"Don't believe you," he says.

"Try it," I reply, my eyes unyielding. I'm not interested in being doubted by a man I've never met before; if he won't trade, we can go somewhere else.

He bites his lips, still hesitant. "Maybe I will," he mumbles, disappearing into the kitchen. With a grunt, I place both elbows on the counter and grab my head. I'm so tired, and the image of the little boy won't leave me alone.

After all, I did say I'd watch over him until we found other people, so that he wouldn't be alone when her time came, and we did find some. Maybe the other children will take him in as one of their own. Maybe we wouldn't have found any better anyway, maybe they have shelter and food and warmth...

But they saw him arrive with us, with Syaoran-kun, with the one who took everything away from them. What are the chances that they accept him now? He'll be lucky if they don't plainly chase him out to fend for himself. And what will he do then?

I refuse to contemplate the most obvious answer.

"'Ere, that should do it," the barman says as he steps back out, holding a jug filled with a mysterious-looking liquid, "use this to clean the pipes. Pretty strong stuff." I'm not sure how similar this and the acid rain of Tokyo are, but I nod anyways.

Without any warning the man pours the liquid directly onto the coat, which I still hold in my arms. With an alarmed yelp I jump back, dropping everything on the floor just in time to avoid the sloshing, acidic mixture threatening to splash all over me. "Are you crazy?" I hiss, glaring at the barman.

It takes less than a second for Kurogane to be towering over both of us, threateningly eyeing the offender. The recipient of all this attention pays no mind to it, however, as he critically observes my coat, unscathed by the liquid. "Yeah, that's some pretty good quality there," he comments. "The other four for sale?" I take a moment to understand that the incident has completely evaded his notice.

"Yes," I answer, heart still pounding. Kurogane grunts, obviously ready to pound the man into the ground.

"These are drugs?" the barman continues, taking up the small bottle of capsules.

"Painkillers," I say. He nods, and picks up the gun.

"The coats an' the gun are worth something alright, but I can't do much for you here. Them painkillers though, I'll take them. Might equivalate a nice meal for all of you's." He smiles, clearly believing that he's doing us a favour. I sigh.

"We need money for a room too, though," I say. In fact, if given the choice, we'll take the money and not the food; we still have a few dry rations we can finish if we need. However, I already know he won't let us walk out of here without some of his food after I've alluded that we'll buy some. After all, it's the only reason he's agreed to listen to me in the first place.

To my surprise, the barman offers me a wicked look. "Well, you could always resort to some less... legal dealings, eh?" he says. I frown.

"Meaning?"

"Under the table? I don't have any use for this, but I'm sure I can find someone who does. You interested?" I hesitate; usually I might have refused simply out of principle, but we need the money and the idea of doing something illegal seems slightly alluring. My world is shattered into a thousand pieces, why should I care about something like this?

"You... you'll forget where you got this," I warn. He smiles slyly.

"'f course. No problem." I can't believe I'm doing this, but I extend my hand.

"Deal."

"Are you alright?" It's Kurogane asking, looking down at me with worried eyes, and I know he doesn't mean the acid that nearly burned me only seconds ago. I lift my head up.

"I'm fine," I answer harshly. With a satisfied grin, the barman shakes my hand.

"Deal," he repeats. Suddenly, I remember a question I had meant to ask him in the beginning, but forgot.

"Where are we, exactly?" I ask. The barman chuckles, holding up the gun like a seasoned veteran.

"Welcome to the underworld, sweet'eart," he says, a new gleam in his eyes.

XxX

Infinity, actually, is what the place is called according to the man who showed us to our room. It's a mangy place, barely big enough for the two beds it holds; the paint is crackling and so dirty that the original colour is unrecognizable, although it now appears an unhealthy grey-green; the sheets seem thick with dust and the bugs the barman mentioned buzz in the corners as though simply waiting for us to fall asleep before invading the air.

I hurry along the sidewalk, carefully avoiding eye contact with the few shaggy stragglers stumbling past me. Only the streetlights offer any sort of guidance through the dark street - even the shop signs aren't lighted – and I'm reminded of the previous world, of the fires still burning there.

How is Anthony right now? Is he still alive?

The plastic bag full of food cuts the blood flow to my fingers, even through my glove. Fai still refuses to drink. If this goes on, I... I'm seriously afraid that he might die.

I close Kurogane's coat around me to block out the cold wind.

I'm sick of thinking about death.

We didn't sell everything we own yet, just the painkillers, my coat and three of our guns. It's all we needed for food for tonight, tomorrow morning, and a small room to sleep in for two days. We're still not sure if we'll be staying here long, and I didn't want to trade all of our goods for a currency that might amount to nothing in the next world we visit. At least weapons and protective clothing will always be worth something.

When I say that we're not sure how long we'll be staying here, I mean that Sakura's not sure how long we'll be staying here. She says she wants to know more about this world before moving on, but so far nothing hints to the presence of a feather or to the passage of Syaoran. Regardless, we're at least staying here the night, so someone had to go out and buy some breakfast because the corner store is cheaper than the restaurant, and because our motel is too discounted to offer it in the morning. I went because it seems I'm the only one willing to speak aloud to complete strangers, or the only one too far gone to care if my voice cracks or my hands shake, or that it's obvious I haven't slept a full night's sleep in nearly a week. Even Kurogane seemed downright apathetic after we've transferred to this world; maybe it's the sudden return to some sort of civilization, or simply the jolt of remembering that we are not alone anymore. Maybe both. Maybe neither.

Maybe it's just realizing that the world doesn't revolve around us.

I pass another one of those posters announcing a chess tournament. It's funny, because this doesn't seem like the kind of place where intellectual entertainment would be very popular, but those posters are everywhere.

I don't want to go back to the room, to Sakura and her mission, Syaoran-kun and his shyness, Kurogane and Fai and worrying about death and nightmares, the air so tight it feels like a collar pulled too close to my neck. We all need a bit of privacy, which is something that we couldn't have in the previous world, travelling, eating, sleeping together. Maybe this way we'll be able to find some of the balance we'd achieved in Tokyo. All I want is for us to be able to talk again.

But I'm not sure I really want to talk to them.

That's why I want to walk endlessly on this sidewalk, letting the city lights guide me forward, always forward, away from all of this and the aching in my heart. Because this way I won't have to talk, won't have to even consider the idea. Better yet, I'll find a plain somewhere, a wide open grassland, and I'll take off my shoes and dig my toes into the fresh dirt and run until I become just one big heartbeat, one big drum full of life, to remind myself that there's a reason why I keep breathing.

I hear cheers pouring in from an alley on my right. I stop. A group of boys are huddled together in front of a small television, propped up on an empty beer case, yelling and drinking and shoving their fill while keeping their eyes glued to the monitor. I find myself stepping closer, curious.

The blue light of the television monitor casts an eerie glow over this nightly assembly, and I place myself behind one of the shorter boys, a kid of about ten or eleven years old. Most of them are older though, my age or more, and fully capable of justifying the amount of beer they gulp down between two screams. I peer at the screen, barely making out two figures – one in black, the other in white – exchanging blows before the crowd jumps up, spontaneously.

"Get 'im! Get 'im!" one of the older boys yells, veins grotesquely protruding from his neck. I back up, eyes wide, to avoid the worst of the commotion. When it finally calms down, amidst groans of dissatisfaction, I glimpse three more figures fighting, with another – dressed in white – watching the action from a sort of throne, high up into the air.

"What is that?" I ask without thinking, leaning in to get a better look. One of the boys turns towards me, a can of beer in his fist. He doesn't seem overly surprised to see me there.

"It's Chess, mate," he says. "Never seen 't before?" I shake my head, eyes glued to the monitor.

XxX

"It's... weird," I say, rubbing my hands together. "But that's what chess is in this country. It's a fight. A real fight, between two teams." Everybody, especially Sakura, listens to me with attention.

"And you say there's a prize for whoever wins this tournament?" the princess asks, seeming completely focused. I nod.

"It's... substantial," I admit. "Actually, there's a prize for every game you win, but the Grand Prize is really something." That boy in the alley explained it to me. Kurogane didn't seem pleased that I stopped to speak with a crowd like that, but I don't care. Did he forget that I used to be part of a gang?

"Why do you ask, Sakura-chan?" Fai asks gently. "Are you planning on entering this tournament?" His hand is resting on hers, and I quickly look away. She frowns, her delicate eyebrows coming down over her eyes. I almost hope she says that we will. There was something when I looked at that fight on television... some deep, violent urge to be there, hurt and be hurt, win, bleed, make blood fall... the frivolous excitement I feel on the eve of a fight.

"Maybe," she says. "It might... it just might count as payment, if the prize is really what Aisha says it is." Syaoran-kun and Kurogane both have movements of surprise, but the princess doesn't elaborate. "Regardless, I think it would be better if we slept on it, don't you think?" she continues, looking at each of us individually. I nod.

"Sleeping sounds like a good idea," I say, "especially in real beds. It'll be a treat." I force a smile on my lips and try to make my voice sound giddy. "Bet it feels like a cloud after the rocks we've slept on in that other place." Nobody mentions any more; not Syaoran, not the fires, not Anthony. I'm not sure if it's because they don't want to think about it, or if they just don't care that nobody has mentioned the boy, even when he was there. From the beginning he had been entirely mine. And so the responsibility of leaving him behind is also mine.

But what could I have done? I think, sitting down on the bed I will be soon sharing with Sakura. I tried to resist Mokona's magic, to delay it at least; maybe I could have screamed, told the fur-ball not to do it, but would he have listened to me? And even if I had managed to fight his magic, to stay, where would I be now? Stuck in that world with no way out, with only Anthony, left behind. I knew that. Is that why I wasn't able to fight it completely, because subconsciously I knew I could either hold my promise or be left behind, alone again? It was because I was selfish yet again, wasn't it?

I know I'm selfish. My decision to save Fai, it was a selfish one. It was because I wasn't able to let him go that I hurt him, that he hates me. It's because I was selfish that I can hear him refuse once again Kurogane's offer to drink, and close my eyes to forget that he might die from it.

_I'm sorry Anthony_, I think, trying my best to send out my feelings to this boy a world away. I really am. _I wish I would have stayed; I wish I could have found Elizabeth again and watch you run to her with a bright, innocent smile on your face. _I wish you to hear me now.

I think that the thing I hate the most is that I wasn't able to say goodbye. That I wasn't able to reassure him, because I was so caught up in my own pain.

"Once upon a time there was a very curious little girl named Alice, who liked butterflies and playing in the park, and hated nothing more than sitting down to learn her lessons each day. But some days her older sister listened to her pleas and allowed her to read her lesson book outside; and one such day, she thought she saw a white rabbit scurrying by with a pocket watch and followed him into a rabbit hole…" I start, whispering, imagining the boy's weight leaning against me like he did only today, drinking water from a dusty bottle and listening to the words I wish I had said then. I wish I would have told him a story, I realize now. There was an opportunity, and I missed it.

Kurogane and Fai have retreated to the hallway, and I can hear their hushed argument through the door. I'm guessing Kurogane is standing in front of it to keep Fai from coming back in and escaping the topic of feeding again. Sakura is nowhere to be seen, but I know she's taking a quick shower in the bathroom. Syaoran-kun is sitting behind me, on the other bed that he has to share with Fai. Kurogane already said he was sleeping on the floor, and it's pointless to argue because this arrangement is what makes the most sense. Our Recort solution to this problem won't work now.

Syaoran-kun is the only one who can hear me, but he doesn't say anything as I flop on the pillow and turn the story back and forth in my head, trying bits and pieces of it on my tongue, and all the while wishing that Anthony can hear me, wherever he is, and that his grandmother hears it too and doesn't feel so alone out in the ruins, and that both feel how sorry I am.

I tried, I really did. And if Sakura had listened, had cared, then it would have been so much easier.

"She ran and ran and ran as fast as she could, trying to escape the card soldiers and the Red Queen running after her," I say, "and just when they were about to catch up, Alice woke under the shade of an old oak tree, an open book in her lap. It had all been a dream." I sigh, letting my breath out for as long as I can muster it, until I feel empty and very much like a shell. Then I close my eyes, and for the first time in days I sink into a peaceful sleep.

XxX

I am awakened by the slam of the door, and I jerk up to see Fai, Sakura and Syaoran-kun standing, frozen, with Kurogane gone. My eyes fly across the room, trying to find the source of all this commotion, but no one is helpful enough to tell me. I jump out of bed, suddenly prey to a growing anxiety I can't place anywhere.

"Kuro-sama?" I call, running out the door and looking around for a sign of the ninja's presence. I know he can be silent if he wants to be, but to simply disappear...

A shadow flickers to the right. I run that way, calling out the name again, and when I turn the corner I see him, pacing up and down the parallel corridor.

"What's going on?" I ask, reaching him. His eyes flicker to me.

"I'm sorry I woke you up," is all he says, continuing his insane pacing. I follow him, keeping to a slow jog so as not to be left behind.

"What happened in there?" I insist. He stops suddenly, gives an exasperated grunt and turns on his heels to face the other way.

"They don't care," he mutters, more for himself than for me, "they don't even look around them, they can't even see..."

"Kuro-sama." I fling myself in front of him, blocking the hallway as much as I can with my arms outstretched. My eyes find his, and I give him no option. "Tell me what's going on." With a defeated grunt, he slouches against the nearest wall.

"I think I'll just kill him myself and have it over with," he says, looking down. I bite my lip.

"He still won't..."

"No, he still wants nothing to do with it, and then the princess actually _defends_ him for it. It's like she can't see that he's dying, or like she's trying to help him kill himself," the ninja growls, anger piercing under his voice. I frown, uncomprehending. I thought that at least for this, Sakura was on our side. After she said that she was glad he was alive, I thought she would try her best to keep it this way. Not defend him for starving himself. "And then there was how she told the fur-ball to leave that other world yesterday, even though she knew that you wanted to stay a little longer; and really the kids weren't so bad, we could have just made a run for it. The mage says that she panicked, that she wasn't thinking about that little boy when she said it, but that's no excuse. Especially since she doesn't seem to freakin' notice." My eyes open wide, and I suck in a breath of surprise. It's the first time anyone has mentioned Anthony. Kurogane looks up to me, and for the first time it occurs to me that he might have heard my cry when we appeared in this world and my hand was empty.

"We met him before, didn't we? I remembered his face from somewhere."

I nod. "Jade," I choke. "He was one of the kids we got out of the castle. His name was Anthony." The ninja looks down, eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

"Makes sense," he finally mutters. Then his hand comes to rest on my head. "I'm sorry," he says. I shake it off.

"It's fine," I lie. "There's nothing I can do about it now anyways." I can't keep the bitterness out of my voice; I know Sakura was wrong, but I can't bring myself to openly blame her. Kurogane grunts; he knows I'm hiding it. For a moment I think he'll confront me directly, and I'm afraid that under his gaze I'll be forced to reveal the unyielding ache in my chest or the tear-stained eyes of the little boy as he was watching me leave him. So I spill it out.

"I never got to tell him goodbye," I admit, in one breath, what is bothering me the most. That was the one thing I promised him, and it wasn't even hard to do, yet I failed to keep my word. Tears swell in my eyes; I hope he's alright. That's all I want, really. I don't even care if he forgives me or not; I'm too far gone to deserve forgiveness from anyone. I shake my head. "But it's too late now. There's no point in trying to lay blame." I just didn't matter, and neither did he, to this new Sakura I can't understand anymore.

"She could have at least apologized," Kurogane mutters. I shrug.

"She probably has better things to think about," I say. The ninja doesn't seem convinced, and gives me a quizzical look. He's probably wondering why I'm defending her when she clearly hurt me the most. I just shrug again. I can't explain it myself.

"We'll find a way to make him drink," I say, changing the subject. He takes it in stride.

"I didn't save his sorry ass to watch him die a second time," Kurogane agrees, nodding. There's an awkward silence. "By the way," the ninja continues clumsily, "the princess is going down today to register us for this Chess tournament." I nod; I was expecting that outcome.

"So we're staying here," I conclude. He grunts affirmatively.

"We can't do much more than support her in whatever it is she's doing, anyhow," he grumbles. I wonder for a second if I should explain what Sakura's up to, but somehow decide against it. It would be better if she does it herself.

"Yeah," I sigh instead. "We'll need a better place to live than this shabby motel. I'll go look for lodgings this afternoon. And we'll need more money, so I'll go scout for a job too." The ninja shoots me a strange look.

"Don't push yourself too hard," he cautions. I laugh bitterly. It's alright; I don't matter.

XxX

"Human chess?"

Sakura nods. She is sitting on our bed, holding Mokona on her lap just like the time I caught her outside, talking to the witch in the cold night air, except that this time the fur-ball is awake and we are all here, scattered around the room and paying close attention to what is happening. Because this concerns all of us.

"If we win, we will receive a prize," the princess says, pointedly supporting Yuuko's gaze. She still hasn't told us what this is all about, though I already know and Kurogane suspects that this has something to do with a wish. The witch's eyes narrow.

"You want to use this prize for the restauration of the country you've been to before, right?" she says. "To bring some sort of shape to it again." The princess nods again. I see Syaoran-kun frown thoughtfully, then look away before she turns her head his way. Except that she doesn't turn her head to any of us. Our opinion doesn't matter when it comes to this. Nothing we say will change her mind anyway. "I know about this world you're in," the witch continues cautiously. "It's a very dangerous place. Even so...?"

"Yes." There is no hesitation, no question in this answer; only a cold, cutting determination. Still, something sounds wrong when she says it. Like we don't know half of the story. I take a deep breath and square my stance. What I feel about Sakura doesn't matter right now; I'm behind her on this. If this is the only way I can help Anthony, then I will. Even if it might already be too late. At least with some sort of structure, he'll be safer. His grandmother might be rescued. I don't know, actually, but I just have to try. If only to make my guilt ease a little.

The witch looks over to Syaoran-kun. "Even you, Syaoran?" she asks. Sakura twitches almost imperceptibly at the name. The boy nods.

"Yeah," he says with the same fiery determination I knew his other self to have. He suddenly glances at me and nods before looking back at the witch, and I realize that he knows about Anthony too. Maybe Kurogane told him, maybe he remembered, it doesn't matter. The ninja moves beside me, and I can tell that he's looking my way too. I cock my head to the side, puzzled at the change I feel in the atmosphere. This isn't just about Sakura anymore.

We still follow her, we will still fight for her wish, and we still will not expect complete transparency from her part. But what the others are telling me is that I can still have my own wishes without feeling like a traitor. That according to them, it's okay. It's about us too. We are not invisible, or disposable. Neither was Anthony. Somehow, among all of her planning, the princess needs to remember that we are not her chess pieces.

I glance at Fai. I don't know what he thinks anymore. I want to be able to talk to him again, and I want him to stop calling me by my surname. And I try not to notice the way he stands protectively at Sakura's side, his hand so very close to her, like he can't stand to let her go. At least it's clear why he follows her. I try not to think of how he won't touch me even if his life depends on it. He hates me, that at least is clear. But does he hate me to the point of dying?

My eyes slide over his eye patch and down his neck. Sometimes I wonder if he felt it when Syaoran ripped apart his magic, or if he was too taken by the pain of his eye being gouged out to notice. Maybe he fell unconscious right away and didn't feel a thing. If so, he was lucky. Sometimes I wonder if he knows that I felt it too, and that it was excruciating. My very core felt like it was being torn in two, as though invisible hands were prying my body apart by force. And sometimes I wonder if I should tell him that it was nothing compared to the thought of letting him go.

Sometimes I wonder, if he knew, would he care?

"All right," Yuuko says. "If you can get the prize, I will grant that wish." Then she leaves, and the light dies down, leaving us in the shadows of this poorly lit room.

XxX

I look again at the address circled on the newspaper; we should be at the right place.

"Are you sure?" Syaoran-kun asks, looking doubtfully at the door in front of us. It took us forever to find it, thanks to the unique architecture of this place. From the outside, this entire residential area resembles a mound of shoeboxes stacked over one another in what appears to be random order. On the inside however, they form a veritable maze of hallways and staircases that seem designed purposely to get you lost in its entrails. Every shoebox is a lodging; their different sizes make the existence of traditional stories or room numbers impossible, hence our difficulty in finding this one.

I observe the annotation next to the paint-chipped door and nod. "It's the one," I say, lifting a hand to knock.

Before my knuckles make contact, a deep voice rings from inside: "Whaddya want? I ain't in'erested in whatever yer sellin'!" We both freeze, and I suddenly have the uncomfortable impression that whoever just spoke is pressing his eye to the peephole to detail us.

"Um, no, we're here for the apartment?" I answer tentatively, holding up the circled newspaper add. "We saw it in the paper." It was easy enough to get a local newspaper from a street vendor, and since only Fai and Sakura are unable to read this country's language we've been able to find a great deal of adds announcing lodgings for rent. This one was by far the best we can realistically aspire to, but I'm starting to have some doubts about the landlord.

The door opens in one swift movement, bringing us face to face with the suspicious scowl of the man standing in the doorframe. His bushy eyebrows seem to compensate for the lack of hair on his head; his thin frame is clad in nothing more than a dirty white tank top and a pair of jeans. The skin on his face is rugged and broken with the years. "Jus' the two a' yeh kids?" he asks in a gruff voice. I swallow.

"Well actually there's five of us, but we're the ones checking the place out," I say. His expression softens somewhat as he gets a better look at us.

"Yeh from a crazy sect or some'in? Yer clothes'r ain't 'xactly standard, 'f yeh know what I mean," he asks. Syaoran-kun shakes his head.

"We're travellers," he answers with more confidence than I would have given him, "and we haven't gotten the chance to buy clothing from this country yet." The man nods, twisting his mouth in what could almost be a comical scowl.

"Yer names?" he asks. This time, I'm the one to answer.

"I'm Aisha Kazumi," I say, holding out my hand, "and this is Syaoran Li." The man shakes my hand, and gives a polite nod to Syaoran-kun.

"Jay," he introduces himself. Then he gestures towards the staircase beside us. "'Ere, I'll show yeh inside deh place." We follow him through the narrow, winding stairs. "Ain't no other way up there 'an through meh hallway, so 'ts been pretty easy keepin' landlordin' of this place," he explains. "Lucky we 'ave this extra income, 'cause the wife ain't been feelin' so good for a while an' she can't work like she used ta." We arrive at a landing with a single door facing the stairs, encased in a black wall. "'Ere it is," Jay announces, pulling out a key from his back pocket and fiddling in the lock before the door swings open.

The first room is wide enough, with a worn, black leather couch and an old coffee table tucked neatly in the corner. A single window gives a mostly unimpeded view of the buildings around us and the street below. What strikes me the most, however, is the cleanliness of the place; no trace of the grittiness we've been exposed to since our arrival here.

"This un's the kitchen," Jay shows us to the right into a tight kitchenette, "an' the bathroom's up on deh left with them rooms. Nuthin' big, but enough for deh five a' yeh. I expect yeh to keep 't as clean as m'wife does, 'r at least enough for meh to see deh floor." I nod. We don't need to see the rooms; I already know we won't find any better with what we can offer.

I send Syaoran-kun a quick glance, and he nods almost imperceptibly. He agrees with me, so I'll give it a try.

"So 't would be deh first rent up front, an' deh rest at deh end of each month," Jay tells us, probably guessing out intention.

"We could give you half of the first rent up front, and the rest at the end of the month?" I counter, giving a timid smile. Jay frowns suspiciously, and I quickly continue my explanation: "We just got here so we don't have that much money yet, but I promise we'll find a way to pay you back." We can't quite afford half of the rent either, but I'll find a job soon and hopefully we'll win a few Chess games to make ends meet. We have no other choice but to barter like this; any lodging we could actually afford to pay up front would be no bigger than a broom closet and probably filthier than that motel room.

"Yeh gotta plan fer that?" Jay asks, and I hurriedly nod.

"I'm hunting for a job right now, and..." I'm hesitant about mentioning that last part, but I guess there's nothing wrong about it, "we're entering the Chess tournament that's starting soon." The old man sends us both a quizzical glance. Then, he walks over to the window and shuts the blinds before turning back to us.

"Yeh two ain't in trouble with'at mafia, are yeh?" he asks hastily, so low that it takes me a few moments to understand.

"Mafia?" Syaoran-kun asks innocently before Jay shushes him.

"Lis'en, if yeh won't handle it prope'lly at least, don't get inta stuff like that," he says, annoyed. "I know they target yer kind and screw yeh over 'til yeh hafta do deh imposs'ble ta pay 'em back. Yeh seem like nice kids, but if ye'r caught in' at I won't have anythin' ta do with it. S'rry."

"No!" I stop him before he asks us to leave. "It's nothing like that, it's just..." I sigh. "We really just haven't had the time to get much money since we've been here, and we're entering the tournament because our friend needs the prize money to help her family." The lie slips pretty easily through my teeth.

"It's true," Syaoran-kun agrees, still visibly confused about the mafia. I can see Jay doesn't believe us, so I opt for another approach.

"We really hadn't heard of this... organization before you mentioned it," I admit. I knew there was a black market, but which place doesn't have one? A mafia is a whole other matter, and much more serious.

Jay's eyes narrow. "Yer serious?" We both nod.

"I'm sorry," Syaoran-kun starts, "but what is this ma- organization you're talking about? I've never heard of it." This time Jay seems frankly flabbergasted.

"Yer kiddin' meh, right?" he asks, detailing us. "I mean, they can't prove a thing, but I thought every'un knew 'bout 'em. I mean, they run dah place after'll."

"They... what?" I respond, taken aback. "You mean this literally? Don't you have... police, or authorities, something?"

"Sure, there's a mayor and some police, but whoddya think pay's 'em? The last'un they elected's even one a' them Visions."

"Visions?" Syaoran-kun asks suddenly.

"Dah family that runs deh whole thing, geez kid!" Jay exclaims, for a moment forgetting to speak low. "They're dah same'uns that sponsor that Chess tourn'ment, and they own half of dah money in dah country by themselves!"

"You don't have to yell," I protest, frowning, as I step in front of Syaoran-kun. "He didn't know, so he was asking a question. I didn't know either, so thank you for informing us." Jay takes a step back, studying us harder, like he's trying to see something that isn't there.

"Yeh ain't kiddin' meh," he realizes with a jolt. I nod.

"We've been trying to tell you that," I reply, as calmly as I can do it. "So do you accept our offer or not? Because if you don't, we need to find a place soon, so we'll be on our way." I'm starting to lose my patience with this man. I understand his concerns about the mafia, but he didn't have to act so exasperated when we were only asking legitimate questions.

Jay looks down and scratches the back of this head. "I don't normally do this, but... yeh seem like good kids, so I'll take yeh up if yeh say that deh rest a' yeh won't cause me trouble." He looks back up and his eyes meet mine. I nod, relieved. I really wanted this apartement.

"We won't cause any trouble," I say, "and if we do get in problems with the mafia," he twitches when I say the word aloud, "I promise we won't bring it to you in any way. And I swear we'll pay you the next half of the rent at the end of the month." I know how poorly one of my promises weighs nowadays, yet I continue making them to the unsuspecting people around me. Brown eyes in tears accuse me silently.

"A'right, then come with meh an' I'll have yeh sign deh contract," Jay says, ushering us towards the door. He details us again. "I'm pretty sure yeh ain't of age, but yeh can lie 'bout that on paper. Them others, they the same age as yeh?"

"No," Syoaran-kun says, shaking his head, "two of them are adults." The landlord nods.

"Shouldn't they be th'uns makin' purchases like this? No 'ffence to yeh, but yeh're kids."

"Shouldn't you forbid us to lie about our age on the lease? No offence, but I'm pretty sure that's illegal," I reply without flinching. Jay laughs.

"Yeh're gettin' the hang of thing's pretty quick, ain't yeh?" he says, his eyes twinkling very much in the same way as that bartender's did. "Don't give 'em an inch ta play with, or they'll screw yeh. Not bad." His expression sobers a little. "Seriously though, I got no intention ta get in yehr faces 'bout yehr lives. You pay meh an' don't cause trouble, I'm good with'at." We nod. That suits me just fine.

My signature in black ink seals our agreement, on the line just above the word "tenant," as Syaoran-kun looks over my shoulder. In the box indicating age I write twenty-one, following Jay's directions.

"Look at yeh," he says proudly, holding up the contract as he takes us in. "Yeh two 'r just like a couple now, aren't yeh? Bough yehr first place toge'er." I look at the boy, wide-eyed, and can't help the twitch at the corner of my mouth when I realize the justness of Jay's observation. For the first time in what seems like forever, laughter shakes me until I am holding my sides lest they burst open, while I ponder the hilarity of Syaoran-kun and I being a couple.

"That's... just... silly!" I explode, unable to control the spasms shaking my body. Tears slide down my face, but for once they aren't tears of sorrow. Soon Syaoran-kun is laughing with me, visibly still unsure of what's so funny, but powerless to stop it. It doesn't take long for even Jay to be cackling above us, at the two ridiculous kids who just leased an apartment together and seem to find it hilarious.

When the laughter finally dies down, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest; nothing substancial, by any means, but enough that I feel like stretching my arms up towards the sky for a moment. I exchange a glance with Syaoran-kun, who chuckles. I have to bite my lip to keep from smiling too widely.

"What was that?" the boy asks me, wipping a tear from his eye. I grin, feeling absolutely foolish.

"He said we were like a couple," is all I answer, tremours beginning to shake my abdomen again. Syaoran-kun smiles brightly at me, almost like a child. I don't think I've ever seen him – _him_ – smile before.

"That felt... good," he admits. I agree wholeheartedly.

Right now Fai isn't dying and Syaoran isn't gone, Anthony isn't lost in an unreachable world and Sakura isn't dragging us all on a mission only she understands. Right now, we are not about to step into a ring to fight people for money, risking our lives for an elusive goal. Right now, we are just reminding ourselves why we keep breathing.

XxX

Chess is a complicated game, from what I came to understand. Like the board game, two factions oppose each other in a simulated battlefield; one is clad in white, the other in black. Each team consists of five players: four 'pawns' which fight on the ground, and one 'Chessmaster' who watches over them from above. The resemblance stops about there.

People die in this game. It is the first thing they tell you when you enter the ring for the first time, and a point both Jay and the boy in the alley emphasized greatly. No weapons with electrical charges or firearms are permitted, and any flying tool is prohibited as well, but the swords, spears and other associated paraphernalia used by the pawns are quite real, and lethal when handled correctly – or just swung around randomly. Even the Chessmasters don't escape unscathed from this. Sitting in their chairs with their pawns below them, they rule the players' speed and strength through their focus. Should the master hesitate or let his mind wander elsewhere, the pawns become weak and sluggish, losing control over their movements until they are completely immobilized. If this happens and the Chessmaster is unable to regain her composure before her team is defeated, she will become permanently invalid. A vegetable.

Sakura is our Chessmaster, or as they are commonly referred to, Queen – or more rarely, King. There is also an unofficial rating of the pawns, used mostly by the spectators rallying up in alleys or basements to cheer while consuming ridiculous amounts of alcohol: the Knight is usually the muscle of the group, the player with the most brute strength; the Bishop is a more defensive fighter, the one with the most long-range weapon, who stays behind while the others are in the front line; the Tower is a title attributed to the player with the most versatility, the one whose job is to act as defence to the other pawns; and the High Pawn is the nimble one, usually the smallest, capable of subduing opponents by speed and agility alone. Because those titles are not official and neither are the guidelines by which they are given, fans argue endlessly over which pawn within their favourite team is most worthy of a certain honour; rarely, a unanimous consensus is reached when the pawns' fighting styles are so distinct that any argument is hard to sustain.

Despite what the absolute multitude of posters announcing the event would let one believe, the game is actually a fairly underground one – not officially endorsed by the authorities because of the danger associated with it, but tolerated because of the profit it generates for the Vision family. The real money is made through bets placed on the contestants by wealthy spectators who can enjoy the show live from luxurious balconies that cost a fortune to rent for even one game. As main sponsors of the event, the Visions are entitled to not only all the surplus money generated by the bets, but also the profits of their own bets, which they place carefully on star contestants while encouraging other spectators to bet on less talented teams which they make up to be underdogs simply waiting to shine. At least this is how Jay paints it to me, and I suppose he knows more about it than I do. After all, the fact that the Vision family sponsors the event and bets heavily isn't a secret – officially they are simply a rich family trying to expand their business. Jay was exaggerating when he said they own half of the country's money, although if you count all the people they hold under their thumb as well, the count might be close.

I explained it all to the others, but I think only Syaoran-kun paid attention to all of it; Kurogane seems to have grasped the essentials at least, but he and Sakura don't seem to fully understand the corruption behind these games – or maybe, in Sakura's case, she wants this so badly that she chooses not to see it. As for Fai, it's impossible for me to know what he thinks now. I've tried to get him to drink today, to no avail. He's so weak that he can barely walk anymore, and yet he's still here with the rest of us.

At our first Chess game. With a sink pipe. As his only weapon.

We stole that sink pipe from our apartment – water only runs from noon to an hour after sundown, and fortunately for us, our first game is late in the evening. It was my idea to use it as a weapon, since Fai is the only one who didn't already have one, and neither of us was about to let him walk out into a fight without something to defend himself, especially not in his weakened state. At least a sink pipe is heavy enough to cause some damage even without great force behind the blow. Since we don't have enough money to buy weapons, this will have to do for now. I offered him to take my knife, but he would have none of it.

"Step here," the man who greeted us here directs us to the ring. A large rectangular platform with no walls to stop us from toppling over the edge, suspended in the center of a wide, dark room. Our starting point is tucked in a corner, opposite a team entirely dressed in white getting ready just like us. Our dark clothes from Tokyo are all we can afford to wear to identify us for now, but it seems to be enough; most of the teams we will be facing at this level are complete amateurs as well, or so we've been told, which means they won't have any sophisticated weaponry or costumes. We should be fairly well off until we can get organized.

"Which one of you is the Chessmaster?" the man asks, looking at both Sakura and I. It is rare here for a girl to play as a pawn, even rarer than it is for a man to be Chessmaster.

"I am," Sakura steps forward. The man shoots me a puzzled glance and shrugs, guiding Sakura to an egg-shaped chair nearby. Two black wings flank it on either side. As soon as Sakura sits her wrists are encircled by metal cuffs binding her to the chair, which is hauled several feet up in the air by a chunky chain. Despite having been warned about this, the princess' eyes widen as though in surprise, but she soon regains her composure.

"And you four stand here," we are told as our guide shows us the space between two thin posts covered in chains; when we are standing in a straight line, he hands us each a black, spiked choker with a large metal hoop dangling from it. "Put these on and don't move," he says, backing away. I glance at Kurogane and Syaoran-kun on either side of me, and both shrug.

"Are you sure your leg is alright?" I ask Syaoran-kun hurriedly, one last time. I already offered to shield him so that he doesn't have to strain himself, but he refused politely.

"It'll be fine, you don't have to worry about me," the boy replies, distractedly fiddling with his sword. We both regretted laughing as soon as we were finally able to stop, and spent the journey back to the hotel in utter silence. It felt so good as we were doing it, but now the memory of it just seems wrong; it's not right to laugh when the ones close to us can't even fathom the idea.

I glance at Kurogane before clasping the choker around my neck. We both know we'll be the ones fighting most of the battle tonight; Syaoran-kun can probably manage himself but his leg isn't nearly healed enough for me to take my eyes off of him, and Fai is too weak to be of much help in a fight.

One by one I hear the claps of our chokers as they close, and a high-pitched ring echoes in my ears. Suddenly the chains around the posts animate on their own, swarming like snakes through the air, over and around us, encircling us close into a tight web until any movement is impossible. With a final click, one chain clinches itself to each of the hoops on our chokers. Biting my lip, I try to move my left arm; the response is so swift I cry out in surprise when my binds tighten so much they force my legs to part slightly.

"I told you not to move," our guide simply says, seeming completely indifferent. I look up to Sakura, a prisoner on her throne, and then to the others around me, chained down with no possibility of movement. There is no way out now.

Uncertainty suddenly grips me. For the first time, I contemplate the possibility that we don't win this fight, that we don't win the tournament, that everything goes wrong... after all, we're hardly in optimal shape. The team in front of us, as disorganized and rough as they may seem, are all healthy and obviously have street fighting experience – things could easily get very messy.

I perk up; I have street fighting experience too. Kurogane is a warrior who has defeated countless opponents, to the point where his princess cursed him to lose strength if he ever killed again. Fai may not be strong right now, but he's a vampire and that's bound to count for something. We've fought on an actual battlefield. If anything, we can beat four gang members with inflated egos.

I take deep breaths to calm myself as our guide explains that the next time we come he won't be there to show us what to do, then leaves. On a stage on the side of the ring, an elaborately dressed man in a rabbit costume lifts his hand.

"READY..." he calls in a voice obviously enhanced by some sort of microphone. I barely have the time to wonder about his strange, lifelike costume before his hand comes down. "GO!" Immediately, a soft beep reaches us from the other side of the ring; our opponents' chains break from their chokers and they dive forward, suddenly able to move. My body tenses, and I let my tongue pass over my teeth in anticipation. In chess, white always moves first. Black soon after.

The beep resonates again, this time from our own chokers, and our chains burst away with a sound of bending metal. I dash forward, swinging my arm forward in a long arc. Before they've even reached us, the opposing team's leader already stumbles back, a bloody line drawn on his chest from my whip. I aim for another, wait until my weapon wraps itself securely around his ankle, and drop to one knee to pull him down. I have no time to think, only to react; Kurogane jumps forward and locks blades with a third white pawn while I slash one more time at the first before the fourth one passes so close to me to get to Syaoran-kun that I simply have to extend my arm at his throat's height to send him flying back with an alarming gurgling noise. Syaoran-kun dashes to him and steps on his chest, then points his sword at the man's throat. That's one down.

There are three ways to win a Chess game: the first is if the other team forfeits, and only the Chessmaster has the ability to do this for her pawns; the second is to render all pawns unable to continue the fight, therefore forcing a forfeit that will be called by the referee. The third way, more obscure, depends on the man behind the Vision sponsors. They say he watches every game from his own personal room, and when the matches last too long, they turn to him. He has the power to advance any team he prefers to the next round, and send anybody he doesn't like to the bottom of the pit. As far as Chess is concerned, he is God.

The white pawn's leader is back on his feet now, staggering but still advancing towards me at a startling pace. With a blood-curdling yell he swings his axe down, and all I can do is duck to avoid it. I step under his arm and punch him in the stomach, but he grabs me at the waist and flips me over his shoulder before I can react, dropping his axe in the process. I manage to land on my knees, but his fist hits my cheek and I am thrown to the floor.

The world moves in slow motion around me. Kurogane is now fighting two opponents at once, Fai circling them in periphery with his sink pipe, waiting for an opening. Syaoran-kun is yelling my name, somewhere over the sound of my own breathing reverberating through my skull. I hear my heartbeat once, twice, and now a hand is grabbing me at the collar to pull me up from the ground...

The dull sound of lead against bone, and I see Fai standing over a fallen body as Kurogane steps on his other opponent's chest. There's another hand fiddling at my belt, but I only realize why when it's too late. The world snaps into clarity as I struggle against it. My knife!

One arm baring my chest and pushing me against a stone-hard body, another holding a blade to my neck. I can feel the blood from his wounds seep into my back as I try in vain to loosen his grip on me. The battle is at a standstill. All eyes are on us now; nobody can surrender like this. Syaoran-kun looks at me with wide eyes, visibly debating what to do, but I signal him not to move. If his opponent gets up again, then he'll only be stuck fighting with an injured leg. Kurogane doesn't seem nervous in the slightest, as though he were simply waiting for me to turn the situation around. I can't help a wry smile from shaping my lips – and I who thought Fai or Syaoran-kun would be the ones stuck in an impossible situation like this.

I close my eyes and try to slow my breathing down. I just have to forget that there's a knife against my throat. If I do that, then getting out of this is easy. His breath is erratic and distracting in my ear. Suddenly, I feel his grip falter.

"Ella!" he yells out in alarm, and I see his Chessmaster look down at us with indecision in her eyes. She's hesitating!

Without a moment's thought I step under his arm and behind him, locking his elbow. With a quick snap of the wrist I force my knife from his fingers. The blade easily finds its way to his collarbone, where I apply just enough pressure to leave a small cut.

"It's over," I say in his ear, then louder. "It's over!" I look to his Chessmaster, who has a stricken look upon her face. Softly, I hear her call something to the referee.

"BLACK WINS!" The announcement sounds across the ring like a wave. The white pawn below me groans in defeat, then tries to shrug me off. I tap his elbow in retribution, getting another, more painful groan from him.

"Nice fight," I concede before finally letting him go. He rubs his elbow with a scowl and doesn't answer. I shrug and go towards Syaoran-kun. His pawn doesn't seem any happier than mine was, and leaves grumbling to go carry his fallen compatriot resting at Fai's feet. The boy looks at me with relief and a small smile.

"We won," he says. I nod, smiling a little myself. His eyes widen. "Aisha! Your neck!" I bring a hand to my neck and find a small cut oozing blood right at the side.

"Oh, don't worry about that," I say, frowning. "It's superficial, I'm pretty sure, or else I'd be fainting right now."

"Kazumi-san..." I clench my teeth upon hearing my surname. I don't think I'll ever get used to that.

"Yes?" I ask, turning around. Fai is standing behind me, his eye locked on the cut at my neck. I'm about to repeat the same thing I said to Syaoran-kun, when I notice the way Fai is looking at me. His eye has turned to amber and is now almost a narrow slit in his face; his breath quickens and I see his nostrils flare as though he would be smelling a particularly delicious scent. I freeze. Under his gaze, I suddenly feel like prey.

"Fai-san..." I'm about to offer; for a second I don't care that we're in a public place, under cameras that record our every move. All I know is that he's finally receptive to drinking and that I have to seize this opportunity.

"No," he suddenly whispers, his expression shifting to a terrified one. "No." He runs past me, down the stairs and out of the ring before anyone can say a thing. I look at the spot where he disappeared, and my heart falls. It was so close. My eyes find Kurogane, who looks just as disappointed as I am, and then Sakura, whose chair is now lowering itself to the ground. I try to smile, but really I want to cry.

"We won," I say, pushing back the tears, feeling how ironic this sounds now.

XxX

I knock on Jay's door, holding my package securely to my chest. This is a precious cargo I can't afford to lose, steeped in blood.

The door opens to show our landlord in a pair of ragged pyjama pants with his hairy chest exposed, almost like it were alive. "What's it?" he asks, then details me. "'Kay, I know I don't got much leverage with what I'm wearin', but weh...?"

"We had nothing else," I explain, tightening my improvised dress around myself. Sakura helped me fashion something out of our bed sheets until my clothes are clean from the blood. "It doesn't look too bad, does it?"

"Well, 't covers yeh well," Jay shrugs. "So, wassa matter?"

"I have the money for our first rent," I say, handing him our package. The prize for our first Chess win. " I told you we'd find a way to pay you." I'm a little proud of myself; I was able to keep my promise. Jay looks a me with a doubtful expression.

"Yeh can't afford more an' un' outfit?" he asks, looking at my dress, then back to me. "Be honest, what have yeh been eatin' fer the past few days?" I bite my lip.

"Dry rations we brought with us?" I say, suddenly feeling sheepish. I hate admitting that we're poor. Jay sighs.

"Keep 't," he says, pushing the package back to me. "Get yehrselves somethin' fer deh appart'ment, some change a' garb, some food, 'kay? Yeh can pay deh rest of deh rent at the end a' deh month, like yeh said before. I ain't gonna have yeh guys starvin' a' death cause yeh gotta pay meh rent, 'lright?"

"Are... are you sure?" I ask, taken aback. He sighs, and the corners of his mouth come up a little.

"This's deh end a' this conve'sation," he answers, closing the door on me.

XxX

Everyone's sleeping now, which makes me wonder why I'm the only one still awake and up, fighting with this cursed sink pipe so it fits back into its spot before they turn the water back on. Then again I didn't tell anybody I was doing this. It would be much easier, and more sensible, to wait until morning when I'll be rested and Kurogane or Syaoran-kun will be able to help me. But the thing is, I don't want to go to sleep. I don't want to take the chance that she's back now, back in my head. Four days; it's taken her less than that before.

My fingers slip on the pipe and hit the side of the cupboard, and I curse aloud as I put the most painful of them in my mouth. It shouldn't be this hard, but the wrench is really difficult to turn. I hear a sound at the door, no more than the shadow of a whisper, and turn startlingly. For a second I'm scared that it's her, but it's Kurogane at the door instead, looking down curiously at me. It takes me about a second to realize that he holds his left arm with the inside of the wrist up, bent at the elbow as though to keep blood from flowing too freely. My eyes widen.

"What happened?" I whisper hurriedly, scrambling to my feet and reaching for the wound. The ninja doesn't pull away, and instead willingly hands me his wrist. It's a clean wound, not too deep but still alarming because of its location. The lips of it are so sharp that it looks almost as though it was done by a well-sharpened blade, and despite Kurogane's precautions blood drips on the floor in a steady stream.

"He drank," is all he says. It's only a few seconds later that I realize what he means.

"He... he did?" I stutter, confused and relieved. Kurogane nods and in his eyes, under the glaze of blood-loss, I can tell that he is just as thankful as I am. I stumble backwards, undecided between laughter and tears. He won't die. Fai won't die.

"H- how?" I ask, still in a daze as I reach for the cupboard where we keep the bandages. The ninja shrugs.

"I went in his room and cut my wrist open. Then I stood in front of the door so he couldn't leave. He eventually gave in."

"You... what?" This time I nearly scream in alarm, looking at his wrist. "With what?"

"Souhi," the ninja grunts, showing me the hallway with his valid arm. Sure enough, the sword is resting against the far wall. I grab his wrist.

"Sit," I order, shared between my happiness at seeing Fai drink and my dismay at what Kurogane did to himself. The ninja obediently flops to the bathroom floor as I flip open the first aid case. "Why do I feel like I'm constantly patching you up?" I ask, cleaning the wound.

"Because you are," is his only answer. I grunt and lock myself in silence. I'm grateful for what he did, but conflicted. I'm tired of people getting hurt in this group, and I'm not about to encourage Kurogane to do it.

It's only when I am rolling the bandage tightly around his wrist that I finally speak again. "I can't believe you had to slit your wrist for him to drink," I say. He shrugs, like it was nothing.

"You gave me the idea, actually," he answers. "Tonight, when you were bleeding in the arena, for a second I thought he was going to jump on you." He sighs. "He was thirsty, and I guess the smell of it was too much for him. So I figured that if I could trap him somewhere, he'd have no choice but to drink." I nod slowly, thinking of his eyes in the ring. For a second, I really was his 'game'.

"Where is he?" I ask, for a moment worried about the mage. He might hate us even more now.

"He just threw me out of his room and forgot to look at me in the face," the ninja grumbles. I sigh. I'm dreading his reaction in the morning. I take a deep breath. I can take it now, his coldness. I'm used to it.

"Do you think it's just us?" I ask thoughtfully, frowning at my work. "Or do you think everyone's blood just appeals to him the same?" For some reason I'd like to think that we are special in a way; that we are not only the only ones that he _can_ drink blood from, that we are also the only ones that he would _want_ to drink blood from. And I wonder if we would both appeal to him the same way.

"You'd have to ask him, I guess," Kurogane grunts. I grimace. We both know that won't happen.

I close the bandage with a tight knot after making sure that the ninja's fingers aren't turning blue. "There. I'll have to change the dressing in the morning; you can remind me, right?" Silence. I sigh. "How much did he drink?" A shrug. "Maybe you should sleep in the living room tonight, so I can be close if something happens. You look like you've lost a lot of blood." Still no answer, and I roll my eyes. "I'm not actually angry, you know," I say. The ninja nods.

"I know," he answers calmly. His arm still on my lap, I begin fiddling with his bandage. I don't want him to tell me that I should get some sleep. I don't want to explain _her_ to him. Not when I understand it so little myself.

"You never asked for help with that," he finally notices, eyeing the sink pipe held clumsily in place by the loose wrench. I look down.

"I didn't need help," I grumble, picking at my shoes. The ninja grunts.

"That's why you were cursing out to the water gods when I found you," he agrees sarcastically. I pout.

"Well, it's a _sink_ pipe, so I figured it was in their mandate somewhere to take care of it," I reply sheepishly. He barks, a short bout of laughter.

"I guess so," he says, only the shadow of a smile passing on his lips. His expression then quickly turns dark. "I don't like this place," he says softly, as though he's afraid Fai will hear. "I don't like this whole Chess tournament, and I don't like that mafia ruling everything."

"And yet here we are," I shrug. "We can't do much about it if we want to stick with Sakura." There's a silence. We both know that no matter how bad this world can get, we won't leave the princess. Or the mage. Or even Syaoran-kun, who is so much like Syaoran and yet unsettlingly different.

"What do you think about her wanting to play in that tournament?" the ninja asks. I frown, grimacing.

"I don't know," I admit. "It sounds like something Sakura would do, but…" We look at each other. But she hasn't been acting like Sakura lately. Which makes this whole thing senseless. If she can't even care about what we want, then why care about these people she left behind?

"This whole thing's messed up," Kurogane grunts, shaking his head. I smile joylessly.

"I agree," I say, "but we're stuck in it no matter what. Besides, I want to win that tournament too."

"Yeah, well you have a reason," he replies. "She doesn't, or at least one that she'll tell us. I don't even think that's what she really plans to spend the money on." My features fall a little. Even though I knew she was hiding something about that, I didn't exactly need someone pointing out that I'm probably not actually helping Anthony. Kurogane seems to notice this.

"Sorry kid," he grunts. I let my breath hiss between my teeth.

"It's alright," I sigh. "I'll just have to live with it." I've known ever since I agreed to follow her with this, really, I was just hiding it to myself. But if there's still a chance that Sakura will hold true to her word, I'll help her. That, and because she's Sakura. It doesn't matter how she is now, I can't leave her to fend for herself.

"It wasn't right, that whole thing," Kurogane says.

I shake my head, "Just stop it. I'd be worried regardless, and besides we did find those kids… maybe they'll help him out," I repeat the same phrase I've been churning in my head for days to convince myself. The ninja looks doubtfully at me. "Really," I say, daring him to contradict me. He shrugs, dropping the subject.

"Do you know more about that mafia?" he asks instead. I nod; at least now something where Anthony isn't present.

"It's organized crime," I explain, "that runs through the whole city, in this case it's the whole country. Basically, they have enough money to bribe all the authorities so they're not caught, and the ones that run the whole show – the Vision family – they get richer. There were some in other countries, in my world, but I've never actually been exposed to one. Apparently you try not to cross them if you want to live." There's a thoughtful silence from the ninja.

"I don't want them to start messing with us and controlling us with that Chess game, "he finally says, squaring his jaw. I nod. Not like that Fei Wong Reed manipulated us. Never will we - never will _I_ - let anybody do that to us again.

"We then I guess," I say, looking up to the ninja determinedly, "that to win the game, we'll have to learn how to play with their rules." And be just as ruthless as they are.


	44. Just Smile

**DICLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TRC! Thank you for your attention, ladies and gentlemen.**

**Yup. New Chapter. Author with a will to just get this one over with. It's just like a bandaid, if I do it really quick it will hurt less... **

**The first dream sequence... is weird. Not because it's not what I wanted, because it's exactly what I was going for, but it's... weird. For me, I mean. To write stuff like that. Yeah. **

**Alright, so enjoy this chapter of... not very much happening compared to the last chapters, but I really wanted to touch on the three months they spent in Infinity before the manga caught up with them, and obviously not much happened that's necessary to the plot or else it would have been included in the manga in the first place. Lots of angst. I might have gone overboard on that, actually. I rant, don't I? I'm gonna stop. Read now. You really don't have to read these rants of mine.**

**Enjoy!**

**XxX**

I stand at the kitchen window and carefully breathe in the morning air. It smells of rubber and metal bin fires finishing to consume themselves. What I can make out of the sky is a brilliant ruby red surrounded by a halo of bright gold, deep purple clouds scattered like a painter's mad brush strokes across the horizon. I snort; I don't know when I became a poet. As I turn, my eye catches the skin of my bare arm, without its bandage for the first time in a week. The scars are scattered a lot like those clouds, I think grimly, passing a thumb over them. Like someone whimsically took a knife to them in a moment of madness. I can already tell that some of them will never disappear completely, but strangely this doesn't bother me. My scars don't deserve to heal when his never will.

The smell coming from the stove alerts me to the dire fate of my scrambled eggs. With a defeated groan I run over and lift the frying pan from the hot round of the metal stove; instantly the burning smell recedes. Oddly, just this simple motion calms me down. It's so familiar and soothing, just the fact of being in a kitchen cooking breakfast with my arms no longer stifled by bandages, that even the act of nearly burning my eggs brings me a serene satisfaction. In fact, I'm in a generally good mood this morning: Fai is drinking, we have enough money to hold out until our next game, and there was no trace of her in my dreams last night. I know it's only a matter of time, but for now I'm just glad it'll be at least one more night before the nightmares plague me. In fact, I'm in such a light mood that when I hear footsteps nearing the door, I turn around without thinking.

"Good morning!" I call, only to come face to face with a single blue eye. I stop short, and so does he, wide-eyed. We haven't been alone together in a week, and suddenly it becomes obvious just how alienated we are; I have no idea what to do with myself. He seems just as taken aback as I am, and stares at me without so much as twitching a muscle. At least he looks better, I notice with relief. His skin has lost some of its callousness, and the dark circle under his eye is smaller than it was yesterday; his hands still shake, but now so discreetly that I had to look for it to see.

Fai suddenly turns to a cold smile. "Good morning, Kazumi-san," he says. I open my mouth, unable to say anything.

"I made breakfast," is all I can think of. "Would you like- no, never mind," I mumble hurriedly, turning back to the stove. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, horrified. I forgot, for a moment. I forgot that he can't eat food anymore.

"No, thank you," he says icily, and I can feel the strain in his voice. He never asked for this. He never wanted to become a vampire.

"I... uh... did you sleep well?" I ask, forcing a smile on my face. "You look better than yesterday." He lifts an eyebrow, and for a second I swear I see his eye flash to gold. I frown, unconsciously folding onto myself. He scares me. But of course he's angry; he knows that I know that he drank, and he hates himself for it. Most of all though, he hates us for making him do so.

"Yes, I slept very well, thank you," he says, nearly snarling it. My grip tightens around the frying pan's handle. I stand up tall and bite my lip.

"Are you thirsty?" I ask, holding his gaze into mine. The question needs to be asked, and he no longer has any excuse to run away from it. And I know those are the only words that will pierce through him enough.

"No," he answers coolly, turning on his heels without another word and walking out of the kitchen. When I know that he can't see me, I slouch against the counter and take my head in my hands. Just like that, we're worst off than before. I just don't know what I can say to him anymore.

"Aisha? You're, um… well, the eggs are burning," Syaoran-kun's voice says above me. I look up, startled. I didn't hear him walk in. Mechanically, I lift the frying pan from the fire again.

"Thanks," I mutter under the boy's puzzled gaze. Kurogane strolls into the kitchen, takes in the eggs and working coffee machine, then sits at the table.

"Did you see the mage?" he asks me. I can't help a bitter laugh from escaping my lips: did I see him?

"I'm right here," Fai says, appearing into the doorway. He leans against the frame almost nonchalantly, staring down at the floor. For a second his eye flashes dangerously towards me, then falls back to a spot approximate to Syaoran-kun's feet.

"Sit," Kurogane orders, showing the table. "I want to talk about last night." For a second Fai and I freeze. I glance at Syaoran-kun, at Kurogane, then look down, speechless. In Fai's state, it's better to mention as little as we can in front of the boy. If I can judge anything by his previous reaction, this will not go over well.

The mage is already leaving the room when Kurogane continues. "The Chess game," he says, staring after him. I relax, and Fai steps back into the kitchen. That's a safe topic, at least.

"Ah, Kurogane-san... what happened?" Syaoran-kun asks suddenly, looking down at the ninja's bandage. Fai almost stumbles halfway in the act of sitting down at the table, then plops down with an angry sound, pretending not to care.

"I got cut last night," the ninja answers stoically, shrugging. "The kid patched me up after we got here." I know by the way he watches the mage carefully that the message is meant for him too, but Fai crosses his arms and says nothing. Syaoran-kun goes from one to the other, to Kurogane's bandage and Fai's healthier colour, and seems to understand.

"Eh, um... I see..." he stutters, turning red and locking his gaze to his feet uncomfortably. I bite my lip.

"Hm... so, how hungry are you guys?" I ask with a strained smile, already shoveling scrambled eggs into a plate. My attempt at relieving the tension falls flat, but I nonetheless get an answer.

"Not too much," Syaoran-kun says, while Kurogane grumbles something about keeping some for Sakura.

"Don't worry about that, there's still some more I can make," I reply in forced cheerfulness, filling up two plates until they can hold no more. I don't care how much they say they're not hungry; we've been living off dry rations for so long now that this is a feast and they will enjoy it. "I bought two dozen this morning at the market - Jay told me you have to be there really early to get anything fresh. And I have enough food for lunch and dinner too." There's no answer, so I bring the plates over to the table. "Here ya go!" I put them down with a clink, reaching over the table to get his plate to the ninja. My right arm passes right in front of Fai, about only an inch from him nose.

A hissed breath makes me turn to my side. Fai's eye is open wide, fixed on a particularly ugly scar just above my elbow. He winces, for a moment as though he had been punched in the guts.

"Kazumi-san, you... you took your bandages off," he says softly, almost in a nightmarish daze. I bring my arms to my side, almost defensively hiding the scar he keeps staring at. This only brings his gaze lower, to my left arm, my crossed wrists; a puncture wound where one can still guess the depth it ran when it was made.

"Ah... yeah, I don't need them anymore," I answer, this time crossing them behind my back, carefully hidden. Fai blinks furiously once, twice, then scowls down at his hands. "Kamui was sure hard on me, huh?" I lie, affecting a smile. Even without seeing myself, I know it's a failure; I can almost feel the result break before it reaches my lips. I know exactly which scars Fai gave me and which ones came from the vampire twin. One gave me a lot more than the other.

"Get yourself a plate, then sit," Kurogane orders me in between two bites, saving me from the awkard standoff with Fai. I obey hurriedly and sit with the plate on my lap so I can eat while keeping my arms under the table as much as possible. I try not to see how Kurogane and Syaoran-kun are looking at me.

"So what did you want to talk about?" I ask the ninja. He swallows, then clears his throat.

"A few notes," he says, leaning forward on the table. "First off, a situation like last night's," and he looks at me, "can never happen again. Understand?" I nod, still able to see the standstill we had been caught in by my fault. To my surprise, Kurogane turns to Syaoran-kun. "You can't anchor yourself like that with an opponent - knock him out if you don't want to kill him, but if you hadn't been stuck there to watch him half of the fight you could have helped her out, or taken care of another one, and she wouldn't have been alone to face a guy twice her weight. And you-" he turns to Fai, "you need to pay more attention to what's going on around you, not just to the one thing, got it? Then you can see who needs your help and react. And you need an actual weapon, because that lead pipe isn't going to do you much good in the long run." He leans back and sighs, like an annoyed teacher. "I understand we've never fought like this as a group before, but we're all going to need some work if we want to keep winning. We can't take for granted that we're the best team out there. We won last night, but it was only because the other team was so weak." His tone is harsh and leaves no room for reply. All we can do is nod, Syaoran-kun and I contritely, Fai almost with defiance.

"So…" I start hesitantly, "this afternoon we go shopping for weapons?"

"Do you know if there's some place we could train?" Kurogane replies without answering me. I shrug.

"I know they rent training rooms down at the Complex, but they cost a small fortune. We don't have that kind of money right now, not if we'll be training as hard as you want us to. But we could always do it my way and find an uninhabited alley somewhere," I suggest. It's not like alleyways are in short supply here, especially not in this neighbourhood.

Kurogane grunts. "I'd like something a little more closed off," he says, visibly unhappy about this. I lift an eyebrow.

"Well, do you have another idea?" I ask. There's no answer around the table. "Alright, so today we go shopping for clothes and maybe weapons if I can find a shop, and I'll go hunting for a good training ground. We'll rent a room when we're rich enough to afford it, but for now the alley will have to do. We're already getting a deal on our rent and our dry rations won't last another day. Got it?" Now it's my turn to warrant nothing but silence from everyone else. "Thank you," I conclude, shoving a spoonful of eggs in my mouth. My mood has turned like milk, from sweet curdled into sour. Fai still hates us and Kurogane is slipping back into his old habit of giving orders without asking. Smiling so hard has made me want to scream. And my eggs are burnt.

I don't understand him. One second I think he wants to hit me, and the next he looks at my scars like he actually feels remorse about giving them to me. And I'm angry at him too. Because now I won't be able to keep my arms bare anymore.

XxX

I used to smile like that, back when my mom was just starting to drink her wages away. It was easier when people asked questions, when the twins did: why was mom almost never home, how come she yelled at night, where did that bruise come from? It was easier than to tell the truth and to admit that I cried at night. And it didn't fool most people back then either. Kento called it "creepy," and Etsuko said it was sad; and that was before they even knew what I was hiding.

I've always hated that smile, and I worked very hard to get rid of it. I would sit in front of a mirror and practice speaking with a straight face – the delicate sentences, the ones I couldn't say honestly – "Mom's working," "She had a bad day," "I just fell down the stairs again. Aren't I clumsy?" And sometimes, I would stare at my own eyes and blurt out the truth and cry. I smiled when I felt like crying, and that's why the result was so broken.

But I guess I never quite got rid of it, because it's creeping up again to my lips when I want it there the least. It always creeps up on me when I don't want it. Like now.

"Good morning Sakura," I say, and there it is again. She barely looks at me and sits down at the kitchen table next to Kurogane.

"Good morning," she replies. She sniffs the air and her eyes twinkle somewhat. "Did you make eggs?"

"Yup. How much do you want?" Smile, smile.

"Not too much, thank you."

"Here you go." I place the full plate in front of her. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, thank you." She takes her fork and begins to eat in small, mindful bites. "When is our next fight?" I turn to the sink and pick up the cleaning of the dishes where I left it.

"In two days, so we have plenty of time to rest," I answer. Kurogane grunts.

"Rest?" he says. I sigh.

"Alright, train all day and then go to sleep bruised and bloody only to wake up the next morning to do the same thing. Better?" I think I see the glimmer of a smile on Sakura's lips.

"Where is Fai-san?" she suddenly asks. I freeze, then smile brightly.

"He's gone for a walk," I say. We actually have no idea where he is; he disappeared as soon as Kurogane finished telling us his training schedule. The princess frowns as she notices the ninja's fresh bandage.

"I don't remember that from last night..." she mutters. Neither of us say anything. Dishes clink repeatedly together in the oily water. I notice with annoyance that my fresh bandages are getting wet, and hope that it will not degenerate into a rash. It's the last thing I need there.

"Aisha!" Mokona chirps, bounding into the room. My frown instantly turns into a grin when the fur-ball lands on my shoulder.

"Good morning! I left you some eggs!" I announce proudly. Seconds later, the plate is clean.

"I'll be taking a shower," Kurogane suddenly declares, standing up and leaving the kitchen. Sakura takes another bite.

"And I'm full," she says, pushing her plate away. "Thank you, that was delicious." Kurogane eyes her strangely as she passes him in the living room, headed for her – our – bedroom. "Mokona," she calls softly, "could you come please?"

"Alrighty!" he exclaims, finishing off her plate and bounding towards her. The door clicks shut behind them. The ninja looks at the closed door, then at me, and shrugs with a frown. I turn back to the sink. When I hear the bathroom's door close after Kurogane, I finally allow myself to look up to the window in front of me. My reflection is unnaturally clear, and I stare for a long time at my own dark eyes. Then the corner of my eyes crinkle and my lips stretch into a grotesque imitation of joy.

"Everything's fine," I whisper to myself, and watch as the smile refuses to leave as I say it.

XxX

The barman from our first night here told me about this place; then he told me to come see him if I ever had anything else to sell. Which isn't going to happen anytime soon, since we already sold everything we own that can be spared. I would have asked him for a job, but I don't trust him and neither do I his clientele; for now, I think it's best if we just sever the ties.

Which makes me think that I might not want to be dealing with this store if he was the one to point me to it, but there's no harm in going to look. Besides, the mafia wouldn't make it dangerous to deal in anything related to their precious Chess tournament, right?

Right.

"Hello?" I call into the store. The walls are all lined with swords and knifes, some thin and delicate like butterfly wings and others so heavy and jagged they appear like little more than scraps of metal. The middle of the room is crowded with weapon stands, pressed up against each other so tightly I wonder if there's any way to navigate through them.

"Anyone in here?" Kurogane asks, coming up behind me. I peer tentatively around a particularly bulky stand filled with battleaxes.

"Think fast!" I turn around at the scream, in time to see a figure drop from the rafters towards Fai with a thin, silver extension of its arm. My heart jumps, and before I know it I am moving. The mage steps to the side in a heartbeat, narrowly missing the intruder's weapon and I am already there, sending my heavy trekking boot to his face before he can regain his balance. Sakura shrieks. I push my opponent back onto the wall, against clanking blades that fall around us like broken glass, and press my arm to his trachea.

"What the hell?" I yell, pressing harder and harder against his throat. Now that his face is so close to mine, I can see him well; he's young, with angular features and dark, heavy eyebrows. And he's smiling as his face turns increasingly blue.

"Didn't… 'xpect that…" he chokes out. The only sound now is the clinking of metal blades still shaking on their stands, and the pounding of my heart pumping blood into my veins.

"Clyde! What's going… CLYDE !" I turn my head to see an old man clamber into the room from a small door I hadn't seen before, hidden by a large display of spears. He is remarquably nibble for his age, and quickly snakes through the weapon stands to reach us. "How many times did I tell you NOT to try to FIGHT the customers! It's bad for business! Besides, they'll kill you one day!"

"Sorry... Gramps…" the man named Clyde manages to say, grinning as though he had just had the thrill of his life. I release a bit of the pressure, and he graciously takes a breath.

"Miss, I'm so sorry that he startled you," the apparent owner says as he comes up behind me, "he's been causing me trouble for ages. Please, let him go. I'll make it up to you – two for the price of one on your first purchase, how about that?" I keep glaring at the man in front of me.

"Kid, come on, just let it go," Kurogane says behind me, clearly just as angry as I am. I back away just a little, digging my eyes into Clyde's brown ones. Muddy brown. I hate that colour.

"If you so much as try to touch any of us," I snarl softly, "I will be more than happy to cut you open, understand?" There's a bruise forming beside his left eyebrow, right where my boot hit him.

"No prob... lem..." I release him suddenly, letting him fall to the ground. Now I can see that his weapon is a thin silver stick, too light to do any real damage, but sufficiently resembling a sword to fool the eye. As Clyde coughs on the floor, clutching his neck, I turn to the others.

I want to leave this place now, but we don't know of any other shop that sells weapons. Besides, they seem to be good quality products, and the owner offered us a discount. I scan the others' faces to see what they think; Kurogane shrugs, Fai is looking at the floor, Sakura is still staring at Clyde as though desperately trying to regain her composure, and Syaoran-kun distractedly starts testing a broadsword. I sigh. So that's it then.

The owner is scolding his grandson with great flurries of arms. "I said to watch the shop for a few minutes, not attack the first customers that walk in! Now they're going to leave and we won't make a sale at all! And your airway could have collapsed, you bloody git! Who would watch the shop for me then?"

"S'ry," the recipient of this speech mumbles. "A' least now I won' jump on 'em like 'at – no balance when yeh land."

"And don't talk like that!" his grandfather slaps him upside the head. "You will not get in the habit of speaking like those street punks! It's undignified!"

"Fine," he sighs. "I'm sorry. Is this better?" I watch them with a barely disguised grimace. It's true, I could have hurt him a lot worse than I did. And for what? He was fooling around – stupidly, of course, because who attacks someone in a store where most customers are trained fighters? – but without any ill intent. Except that seeing someone leap on Fai with a weapon in his hands, merely a week after the mage nearly died – well, I just didn't think. The only thing I knew was that Fai was not getting hurt again. Not if I had anything to do with it.

And of course now he's standing in front of Sakura, with one arm still slightly extended between her and Clyde. There's a tingle on the back of my left hand as I watch them in silence.

I sigh; I overreacted, but I'm not about to admit it. Because admitting it would mean that I acknowledge the fact that I was only protecting Fai. And I'm not allowed to protect him anymore, or at least not openly. Because he doesn't want me to.

I pretend to observe a set of knives on the stand next to me. I know I can't let my face betray my emotions, but it's too hard. I just want to cry and get it over with.

Could I just stop caring? Is it too much to ask?

"Yeah, sorry about that." I jump at the voice, turning around in a defensive stance. It's only Clyde, a goofy grin on his face as he looks down at me. "To be honest I was going for one of the guys – I didn't think you'd jump in like that. I've never seen you before so I figured you were green and that I had a shot." He laughs. "But I guess not." I lift an eyebrow and pointedly walk away. I don't want to talk to anyone right now. "Hey!" I ignore him. "Lassie!" His hand falls on my shoulder, stopping me. I turn around slowly. Smile.

"A lot of knives here, aren't there? Pretty sharp-looking," I say icily. His grip falters. I walk away.

He doesn't stop me again.

XxX

We bought two weapons for Fai: one looks like a sword but easily breaks into a dozen shards of metal strung on a rope to act as a whip; the other is a crescent-shaped blade mounted on a long ebony staff. It didn't cost us any more than we thought it would, since the owner kept his promise about giving a free weapon with our first purchase. We haven't bought anything for ourselves, since we can't really afford to buy ourselves a weapon each and it would be unfair for only one of us to get a new one. But we will eventually, probably after our next match.

I know I shouldn't have snapped like that, but I can't take it sometimes. I feel like I'm suffocating in this place. It's too dark and gritty, lined with alleys and shaky emergency stairways, cold brick buildings and a starless sky...

It's too much like home. Like Hanshin.

I just don't know how to feel anymore. I want to go home. I tell myself that I still want to go home – and I do. But I'm not sure I can anymore. After all, Kurogane wants to go home too, and Fai – well, one of us has to stay with him. And Fai will never stop travelling, because he doesn't want that man sleeping underwater to find him. So if I have the opportunity to go back to Hanshin... will I be able to take it? I can't let Fai die, and I can't force Kurogane into a fate he doesn't want just to keep the mage alive. And obviously, Fai will protest. He'll be glad even, probably, that we're finally leaving him and that he can die. Or maybe he won't care if we find Syaoran first. I don't know. I don't know anything about him anymore.

I offered him my blood today. This morning, and then later tonight before we went to bed. I'm not sure how often vampires have to drink blood, but I'm sure it's at least once a day and maybe as often as we eat. He refused, of course. And I guess I shouldn't have been shocked, seeing as how long it took us to get him to drink in the first place, that he wouldn't take to it regularly. I wasn't, really. Until I walked out from the bathroom after my shower and passed in front of his room while walking through the hallway. His door swung open suddenly and I found myself face to face with Kurogane, his bandage gone and a steady stream of new blood flowing from his wrist.

I said nothing, turned swiftly on my heels and went back into the bathroom for the First Aid kit. And there, for a moment, I glanced at my reflexion in the mirror. My smile was small and cramped.

"Everything's fine."

XxX

_I stumble across the destroyed landscape, clutching at my throat. There's too much smoke; I can't breathe. Just smoke, but no fire. The fire is far away from here, with Hien and Syaoran, so far that I can't reach it. If I try to get any closer to it, I will suffocate._

_Suddenly a child cries out in the darkness. I jolt upwards, trying to make out something through the smoke. I think of Anthony. My throat locks; so he is alone after all. I run in his direction. God, please make him okay..._

_The sobs turn into a scream, and I quicken my pace. My heart is beating hard. Because this isn't Anthony anymore, it's Hisho out in this inferno, calling for help. And if he's here, where's Hinata? _

"_Hisho!" I cry out, but the screaming only gets louder. I keep running but I never reach him, the smoke forms walls around me and tries to squeeze me into a labyrinth, in what seems like a path further and further away from my brother. I can't even tell where the scream is coming from anymore, only that I have to reach him now, right now, because Hinata's screaming now too, and I think I hear Kento and Etsuko as well, and I'm not even sure who's out there but I have to help them. If I could only find a way out of this maze, but my feet aren't taking me anywhere. I have to find them. Reach them. _

_And then, a small hiccup and the screaming stops. My heart skips a beat. I don't know how, but I recognize that sound and I know what's just happened. No, no, anything but that..._

_When I turn the next corner, he is still chewing on it. Syaoran. I stop short, unable to continue. It's over._

_There's no body around him, but I know exactly what happened. _

_He looks up to me, his blue eye glistening in the fire lingering on Hien. His lips stretch into a grotesque smile, too drawn out, too gleeful to be genuine. _

"_Hello there, little sorceress," he says, but it's not his voice. "I was hoping you'd find me." He chuckles and steps towards me. For some reason I don't want to fight. I can't fight him. It's not him. It's her._

_I try to run, but the walls have changed and there is nowhere for me to go. I'm trapped. _

"_Hm, yes. Pity, isn't it?" Syaoran presses my head against the wall, his fingers twisting themselves into my hair. I can't turn to see him anymore, no matter how I struggle, and yet his hand isn't pushing that strongly. "Are you looking forward to seeing them suffer?" she whispers in my ear. "If this is your reaction to just hearing it I don't imagine you'll last very long, sweet little monster mine."I whimper and push away, but Syaoran's only movement is to come closer, now pressing his whole body against mine. "You see? _I'm_ not afraid to touch you. And don't worry-" something cold brushes my back, "_I'll_ drink your blood, you soulless, pitiful girl." I feel the bite of Hien between my shoulder blades and can't help a cry from crossing my lips. "Hush, sweet one. Shhh." Something cold and wet is making its way up my back, following the burning trail of the blade. I shudder. Another cut, another cry. And still what I know now is his tongue – no, her tongue – snaking on my skin to gather every last drop of blood. Syaoran's fingers are pulling on my hair, so hard that it hurts. I'm not even sure that it's still Syaoran behind me. _

_The next cut is deeper, and the blade lingers painfully in my flesh. I scream. Isn't there anyone else here who can hear me? _

"_Kuro-sama!" This only gets a chuckle from her. _

"_You can call them all you want," she says softly, her breath tickling my ear. "They won't come." I struggle, but the blade is still in my back and it hurts... so much... Another cry. "There, there, would I lie to you?" There is almost joy in her tone. "Now hush." The blade is pulled away, agonizingly slowly. Another lick, this one soaked and prolonged, makes me tremble. "Delicious. I can't decide which one is more delectable, your blood or your fear, little sorceress. But I must be leaving now, so until next time..." Her fingers are taut through my hair, another hand finds its way against my throat, and I realize that I'm crying. There is a smile in her voice. "Sleep well," she says, irony dripping from her every word._

XxX

I hit the floor with a grunt and struggle against the hand pushing my head into the concrete. It's like every tiny stone forming it is pressing into my cheek.

"Let go!" I yell, pounding the ground with my palm.

"Get out of it yourself," Kurogane calmly replies, sitting on top of me. I can't help a gasp as his full weight crushes my stomach until I can barely breathe.

"You're too heavy..." I groan, still trying in vain to get up.

"That's not my problem," I hear the ninja say above me. I muffle a chuckle.

"You could lose some weight... have you… seen yourself in a mirror lately?" I pant. I can tell by his grunt that he isn't amused.

"Look for weak spots," he tells me.

"There are none! Get off!" My pounding gets more insistent; I'm seriously starting to suffocate under him.

"Are you giving up?" The sentence carries as much weight as the ninja himself. I know that in the ring, giving up isn't an option – he knows it too, and that's why he's asking.

"Yes," I spit out angrily. Immediately the pressure loosens and soon I am staggering to my feet, catching my breath. Kurogane is towering over me, stoic, but his disappointment still apparent to a trained eye. I glare back. What was I supposed to do? I couldn't even move.

"Again," I say instead, opening up my arms. The ninja lifts an eyebrow.

"It's the third time I get you on the floor," he notices. "Are you sure?" I nod. I know there's no way I can get out of his hold if he does get me to the floor – he's a lot stronger than me, - but I can still beat this drill. All I have to do is take him by surprise.

He shrugs, "Alright." In one swift movement he grabs my wrist and lifts me off the ground, onto his shoulder; this time I don't wait until he's got me suspended in the air to act. My foot slips between his legs as he pulls me up, and I direct the hardest kick I can muster in this position to his groin. He groans painfully and lets me slip down until one of my feet can touch the ground. I try to push away from him, but to my surprise he moves again and in barely two seconds my back is pressed against the concrete. We stay like this for a moment, both of us panting. Then Kurogane hits my right thigh with his open palm, directly on my scar. I yelp as he keeps pressing harder and harder, struggling and clawing, but it hurts too much.

"Stop it! STOP!" I yell, close to tears. Several people walking on the sidewalk nearby stop to look, but nobody makes a move in our direction. Finally Syaoran-kun intervenes.

"Kurogane-san, I think..." Suddenly the pressure is gone and Kurogane is standing and I am stumbling to my feet.

"Bastard!" I scream, clutching at the sensitive flesh. The ninja seems angry.

"You said that was healed," he growls.

"IT WAS! But that doesn't mean it stops being sensitive, especially when it's being WHACKED AND SQUEEZED WITH ENOUGH PRESSURE TO MAKE ME SUFFOCATE!" Without thinking, I start pounding his stomach with my fists. "Idiot—Bastard—Jerk—Gaaaugh!" The pain is already receding, but tears are still stinging in my eyes – that was uncalled for. From an opponent I would have understood, but from Kurogane...?

"You can't show your weaknesses," is all he tells me. "I won't be the only one using them against you."

With an exasperated sigh I stalk away and let myself fall against the wall of the alley. The pedestrians have kept moving, now reassured that this wasn't anything serious. The only thing I could have expected from them if it was would have been an audience.

Syaoran-kun walks over to me. "Aisha, are you-"

"I'm fine," I growl, hugging my knees to my chest and glaring pointedly in front of me. We've been training for what seems like hours now, but it's probably closer to only one; and I'm ready to quit.

"That makes me think," the ninja starts, turning to Syaoran-kun and Fai like this hadn't happened, "but fighting a woman is actually quite different than fighting a man. Even if it's rare, there might be other women in the arena; so we're all going to practice with the kid at least once a week each to get used to it. Got it?" He looks at me, and I still see his anger burning there. "Are you ready?"

I glare at him with as much fury as I can muster. "I'm done for today," I say. He lifts an eyebrow, visibly ready to challenge that, when Fai steps forward.

"I'd like to practice with you," the mage says. The ninja grunts, turning away from me.

"Weapon or not?" he asks. Fai pulls out his sword and quietly stares at Kurogane. The ninja walks over to the corner where he has left Souhi – Mokona is with Sakura, and so we've had to physically bring all our weapons here – and places himself in a fighting stance. I huddle myself closer to the garbage cans on my right and invite Syaoran-kun to so the same; if I know them, we better not be in their way. Especially the way Fai is looking at Kurogane right now.

The mage wants payback.

For making him drink, I suppose. For forcing him to live. Kurogane gives him blood and gets bet up for it; and I get nothing but a passing glance every now and then. Nothing but the knowledge that he would hurt me, so badly, if he just took the chance.

Maybe he'll hurt me in here, when we train. Or maybe he'll find an excuse still not to touch me.

_You see?_ I'm _not afraid to touch you._

I groan as their blades touch for the first time, just testing each other's resistance before backing down. I don't want to think about that now. Actually, I want to forget that it ever happened. Only five days, that's all she gave me. At least her presence isn't as strong as it was in that last world, but now... now I can actually remember the dreams.

It soon becomes obvious that Kurogane is going to win this fight. I can tell that he's holding back, and still Fai is struggling to keep out of his way. He's not used to his sword yet, and his grip is weak. But the mage refuses to sacrifice an inch to the ninja, spinning and jumping around him so that Kurogane can never get a clear view and end this.

And then suddenly, Fai is attacking. His sword breaks, releasing its blade-clad whip which he sends dancing around the ninja in a flurry of stars. Kurogane stumbles back for a moment, surprised, and although he manages to dodge most of them, a singe shard catches him on the shoulder. It's only a light wound, but enough of a distraction for Fai to swing behind him and land a sharp blow to the ninja's back with the hilt of his weapon. I hiccup as Kurogane winces, staggering forward.

"Can't show your weaknesses," I hear Fai mutter. I stand up, nostrils flaring and heart pounding. Screw this; someone's getting hurt.

"Syaoran-kun, pick one," I tell the boy beside me. He looks up to me with incomprehension in his eyes.

"Huh?"

"This is a melee sport, right? They won't learn anything if they keep duelling like this." I dash towards Fai, now showing his back to me, and land a kick behind his knee. He loses his balance and nearly falls back, giving Kurogane the opportunity to press his sword to the mage's neck – except that Syaoran is right behind me and, having pulled his sword out of nowhere as usual, blocks the upcoming swing. The look of pure astonishment on Kurogane's face, if I were in any other state of mind, would have been laughable.

I run to the corner of the alleyway and grab my knife before twirling back into the fight. Fai is waiting for me there, his eye flashing gold for barely an instant as he regains his footing. I smirk.

"Look around you, not just at the one thing," I say. He frowns, as though undecided whether to move or not. I dive first, slashing towards his chest. He spins out of my way, but I'd been waiting for that; so my foot is ready to meet him when he does. His whip jerks out of its trajectory and I have to duck to dodge it, but it swings back and bites Fai's leg. It's not deep, and in seconds it is gone, but I can't help a sly smile from my lips. He can't beat me at my own game.

It hasn't taken Kurogane long to understand that Syaoran and I form one team and Fai and he the other, and he risks a blow towards me between two exchanges with the boy. I manage to dodge it but barely, ducking behind Fai to escape the worst. As long as nobody pins me down, I am golden. That's my real weakness, isn't it? Strength. So I just have to find ways to keep others from catching me.

The mage's whip comes dangerously close to catching my ankle, but soon I am dancing out of his reach again. I won't make it that easy to hurt me.

"Come and get it," I call, settling back into a fighting stance. We both dive at the same time.

XxX

"CHECK MATE! BLACK WINS!"

I stand up, wiping the sweat from my forehead. The man under me is unlikely to wake up any time soon. That was a pretty hard kick I sent his way.

I look to Sakura, and she nods approvingly. I move, and grimace; I took a few hard hits myself.

"You okay?"

"Yup!" I turn to Kurogane with a smile. I don't know if it's the physical exertion of the past few days or the bruises I can feel forming all over my body, but that fight felt great. "How about you?"

"Fine," he grunts. "That went better than last time." I look to Fai, and my smile disappears. The tranquility I had begun to feel slowly inches away, replaced by an ache I can't quite pin down. He's using his staff today – a poor choice, since he'd barely trained with it, but things went well.

"Syaoran-kun, are you alright?"

"Yes, thank you," the boy says, walking over to us. I notice a slight limp, and frown disapprovingly. He offers me a sheepish smile. "It's nothing."

I raise an eyebrow. "A 'nothing' that I'm going to take a look at as soon as we get home, right?" He nods. Sakura, finally released from her chair, reaches us.

"Thank you all," she says, and bows. There's no trace of a smile on her face.

"Anything for you," Fai answers, stepping forward. She takes his hand graciously and they walk off. I watch them leave and swallow painfully. My chest hurts, but that's because of the kick I got there at the beginning of the fight, not because of them. Not because Fai loves her and still refuses to touch me.

"Let's go," Kurogane says and stalks off, followed by Syaoran-kun. I stay back a little, and my eyes wander on the man I just knocked out. I remember the sound as my foot connected with his skull; my heart jumps a little with glee. That felt good. The smile that stretches my lips feels entirely unnatural, and for a moment I am scared.

XxX

"If Clyde is _anywhere_ in here, please remind him that my warning still applies!" I shout into the store. We wait a few seconds, and then Clyde himself emerges from behind a weapons stand, holding out both his empty hands in signs of peace.

"Alright, I recognized yeh Lassie," he laughs, beckoning us inside. "No worries, I won' try any'ing on yeh."

"MIND YOUR LANGUAGE!" a sudden voice rises from the back store, making us all jump. Clyde grimaces.

"Fine," he grumbles. "What are you looking for today?"

"Swords," Kurogane grunts, pointing to him and Syaoran-kun. "And... something, for her." I don't want another whip. Having two of the same weapon seems pointless to me, and I have no desire to replace my beloved whip, if for the tournament only. But Kurogane was right when he said we needed backup weapons – after all, if something were to happen to them in the ring, at least we would have our favourites handy for whatever else will come after this.

"Hm... well, I can help you two with the swords, but if she's still indecisive about what she wants then I'll have to call Gramps," Clyde says after a moment's thought. "He's the expert after all, I'm just here to pay for college." He gives me a cocky smile, and I scowl. "Yo, Gramps! Customer here for a fitting!" The old man pokes his head in the room.

"Coming, coming," he gripes, slaloming between the weapons stands. "You take the ones who know what they want."

"Yes, sir!" Clyde exclaims while clicking his heels together. Kurogane and Syaoran-kun follow him to the far wall. The owner observes me carefully, hands on his hips, before speaking.

"What kind of weapon do you have now?" he asks.

"A whip."

"And you want something different, correct?" he continues, cocking his head to the side. I nod. He frowns and begins to walk around his shop as though looking for something, muttering. "Female... not too heavy... orchestrated..." He pulls out a thin, curved blade and hands it to me. I grab it hesitantly and weight it in my palm. Not bad, though similar to my knife. I'm about to say something, but he's already snatched it from my grip. "No, no good," he mutters to himself again. Many times he offers me a weapon before taking it back again, never letting me place a word in. Swords and knives, staffs and spears, none of them seem to satisfy him. Finally, with a thoughtful frown he reaches for a shelf and pulls out a slender wooden case. Inside of it are two silver sticks adorned at one side with red string, tied into an elegant bow.

"Try these," he tells me, seeming to doubt himself. I take them carefully, one in each hand, silently wondering how exactly these qualify as weapons. But it seems they are thicker than they appear at first, and I feel them give away under my fingers.

"What...?" I'm about to ask, but suddenly it becomes clear: I'm holding a pair of delicate metal fans. They're large but light in my hand, and I find that I can close them with a simple flick of the wrist. For once, the owner doesn't take them from me and seems to await my comment. I frown. "How do-"

"Long carving movements, try them," he answers hurriedly before even listening to my question. "They're quite sharp at the edges, and remarkably strong for their width. Clyde!" The man looks up from the double swords he was examining with Syaoran-kun and seems to understand the old man's meaning without words. He takes a set of small throwing knives from the wall, and without a warning throws them in my direction. With a light yelp I open the fans in front of me; there's no time to get out of the way. There's a series of metallic claps against my improvised shield and one knife misses completely and lodges itself in the wall behind me, and then nothing.

"Kid!" I look up to see Kurogane holding Clyde by the collar, visibly ready to punch him if it seems I'm hurt in any way. The one in the dangerous position seems to find this less than amusing.

"Aww, come on! What's it wit' yeh people?"

"Clyde, stop angering the customers," the owner says, rather annoyed.

"But yeh tol'me to! I though' you warned 'er!"

"And you see? Not a scratch," the old man continues with a smile, showing me the still-flawless fan I hold in my hand. I'm still shocked at Clyde's surprise attack, and honestly debating whether or not to tell Kurogane to punch him anyway. After all, I did warn him...

"You realize that I told your grandson that if he tried attacking any one of us again I would slice him open, right?" I ask instead, my tone hesitating between humour and threat. The owner looks up to me, lifting his eyebrows in a surprised expression.

"Hm? Well, then he'll just have to help you try those out then. Clyde, lead her to the practice room, will you? We have dummies, but there's nothing quite like a moving target to really get the feel of a weapon. Although I'm pretty sure you'll keep these, am I right?" I stop and ponder this for a moment. Something like a smile begins to appear on my face.

"I guess I will, but a little practice wouldn't hurt," I say, eyeing Clyde with interest. I wouldn't mind kicking his ass. "And I'm sure the others would like to test their weapons as well." The old man nods and claps his hands together.

"Alright, then it's settled. I'll have the receipt ready for you when you come back." Kurogane begrudgingly lets Clyde go, and the man painfully rubs his neck. Syaoran-kun still seems like he doesn't understand what the hell happened.

"Come on, Clyde, show me to that practice room," I call, unable to hide the playfulness in my tone. Fai and Sakura are at the apartment with Mokona, and away from those two I feel like I can breathe. "I don't go back on my promises." Clyde grimaces.

"Ow, Lassie just got scary," he grumbles, pulling out a grin. He shows me to a black door behind a set of shields.

"You guys join us when you picked something, okay?" I call out.

"Sure!" Syaoran-kun answers. Kurogane just grunts.

The practice room is just a small dark cube, with dummies lining the far wall. Clyde flicks on a switch, and suddenly the light is blinding me.

"Are you ready?" he asks. It's only then that I notice the small knives spread between his knuckles like claws.

"Could we use this room to train?" I say instead of answering. I do want to beat him up, but it can wait a while; I just had an idea. He frowns.

"Well... yeah. That's why you forced me in here, remember? Unless you've decided not to torture me?"

"Don't be silly," I reply. "No, I was wondering if _we_ – my team, I mean – could train here sometimes. It's a nice place."

"Ehhh..." Clyde awkwardly rubs the back of his neck, "well, y'see... Gramps wants to keep this room for customers only, so lending it out or even renting it is a no-no. Sorry." I shrug.

"That's fine. But I get to beat you double for that," I add with a smirk.

"Aw, damn," he makes a face. "Would you mind practicing on the dummies first though? Not that I don't trust you - I just don't want to end up a lamb chop." With a feigned scowl, I obediently walk over to the nearest dummy. Its padding is already shredded to pieces.

"Do you participate in Chess too?" I ask distractedly while trying my hand at a simple lateral slice. As I thought, it goes crooked. I'm not used to holding these things yet, but I like the feel of it in my hands – so I guess I'll just need to keep working on my skills.

"Naw, I just work here cause it's the family business," Clyde answers as I try another blow, this time with a closed fan, to the neck. The dummy creaks eerily, and I'm suddenly glad that I listened and didn't start to practice on Clyde. "But my friends and I come here sometimes and fool around, that's how I know how to use most of the stuff in the store."

"Oh? So the thing about keeping it for customers was a lie then?" I say, mildly annoyed. My fan deviates a little, lodging itself deeply right under the dummy's arm and causing it to shake mightily, making me seem a lot angrier than I actually am. Clyde laughs, but I can tell he turned pale.

"Well, since we work here we're a bit of an exception," he says, "and we don't do it all the time. Just when the place is empty-"

"So to train here I would have to get a job is what you're saying," I conclude. I'm not trying to sound too pushy, but my search for a job hasn't gone well so far – let's just say that any legal occupation in this town seems to be already taken – so I am half-hoping he'll offer, without really believing it.

"You want one?" I pause and look up from the dummy I was systematically destroying.

"You're offering me a job?" Just to be clear on this. "Shouldn't your grandfather be the one making those decisions?" He eyes my dummy and grimaces.

"Well I can hardly imagine he'll mind," he says. "You can hold your own against the patrons, and if you don't mind a bit of off-the-books dealing every now and then he'll take you. Every Chess team needs some revenue in case they lose; besides, we need some more people: it's just me and my friend with his little brother here most of the time, and I'd like a few Saturday nights off, quite frankly." I sigh. _Off-the-books dealings_: so basically, black market deals with the mafia. What else did I expect from a shop so involved in the world of Chess?

But... most of the job is quite legal, and we would have the advantage of a training ground that's not littered with garbage and dirt... plus I really do need a job in case we start losing at Chess...

Besides, other than being morally reprehensible, it seems that contraband doesn't have harsh consequences in this country: probably from the fact that the ones doing the contraband are the ones running the place.

"Well, if he'll take me then I'll take the job," I say, looking directly at Clyde. He smiles.

"Brilliant," he says brightly. "I can't wait to see the customers react to seeing a girl work here. It'll be a riot!"

"Let's see if you think it's that funny once I'm done with you," I reply, opening my fans in a swift motion. "I'm ready to try these for real now." I'm not sure I'm happy about working here, not with him. But I need this job. More than just for the money, I need this job.

The noise escaping Clyde as I slice just past his head resembles a cross between a mouse squeak and the shriek of a prepubescent girl breaking a nail.

XxX

"We're home," Syaoran-kun announces as we step through the door. I'm still clutching the dark wooden box containing my fans, and the boys carry similar packages.

"Welcome home!" Mokona greets us, bounding across the living room.

"Hey," I say, catching him. "Are you alone?" The fur-ball shakes.

"Nope," he answers, without giving any more information. I sigh. So they just don't want to see us, then. Just as I think it, Sakura peers over from the hallway.

"Welcome home," she says, still deliberately avoiding Syaoran-kun. I smile at her.

"We're home," I reply. Kurogane snorts and walks further in, carefully placing his box on the sofa. Nothing changes for a moment as everyone observes each other as though deciding where to place themselves. With a sigh I head for the kitchen. "It's almost time for supper," I say to excuse myself. I peer behind me and see Kurogane slumped on the couch as he observes his new blade – a blood-red sword, thicker than Souhi and just as heavy, or at least it's what he tells me – and Syaoran-kun still standing awkwardly near the doorframe with his two boxes stacked in his arms. Fai is just beginning to emerge from the hallway to greet us.

"Syaoran-kun, could you give me a hand for a second?" I call before disappearing into the kitchen. I put my box on the table and begin fumbling around with the cutlery to make it sound like I know exactly what I'm doing. I actually haven't thought about supper yet. I open the fridge, hoping I remembered to do the groceries... and sigh yet again. Carrots, tomatoes and a few chicken breasts. Not much of a choice, but still a decent meal and it will have to do; I forgot to go to the market this morning.

"Uh... yes?" Syaoran-kun enters the room behind me.

"Drop your boxes on the table and grab a saucepan," I say, "you're going to help me cook. I'm hoping I'll be able to make tomato sauce before Mokona cries in hunger – I think I have some olive oil in the pantry, but if I don't I heard that some people use wine... I wonder if sake would be the same? Because I know Kurogane bought some. I think he hid it under the sink. Could you check while I cut the vegetables?" I know that I'm rambling, but I don't care. Talking helps me forget the reason I'm hiding out in the kitchen; training felt too good this afternoon, too free, and I'm not sure I can go back to pretending I'm happy when it's obvious that I'm not. Not right away.

"Alright," Syaoran-kun says without missing a beat, following my instructions. "We do have a bit of olive oil left, so I guess you won't have to use sake. How did you know Kurogane-san had some anyways?" I begin chopping the tomatoes.

"Practice," I answer dryly, without explaining any more. He doesn't know, and he really doesn't need to.

"Ah," he says, nodding. He takes the saucepan and pours the olive oil in it. There's a silence, broken only by the grizzling sound of the heating oil. "Thank you," he suddenly whispers. I nod understandingly. We were both just as eager to escape from that living room.

We keep cooking in silence, only occasionally exchanging questions and answers about the temperature at which the chicken should be cooked and the viscosity of the sauce. Then we stop: there's nothing to do but wait for the meal to cook. I lean against the counter while Syaoran-kun sits at the table and opens the first box, pulling out one of the pair of knives he bought at the store. He plays with it distractedly. From my vantage point I can see into the living room, just enough to notice that Fai and Sakura have both left. So they can't hear us anymore. Good.  
"Where do you keep your sword?" I ask suddenly, wanting some sort of distraction. Any lightness that we felt while shopping and training has gone since we entered the apartment. Syaoran-kun looks up to me with a surprised expression. Then he looks down, and I think I glimpse awkwardness on his face. "You don't have to tell me," I backtrack hurriedly, mentally slapping myself that I've passed another barrier without wanting to.

"Oh, n-no, it's not a secret really, it's just that... well I don't really like making demonstrations. It's... weird," the boy quickly replies. I lift an eyebrow.

"The demonstration, or your sword?" I ask, teasing him a little to my own surprise. He looks away, as though debating how to react.

"It's, uh... in here," he mutters, showing me his left hand. I cock my head to the side, not understanding. Whispering a few words that I don't recognize, he claps his hands together and I watch as a soft light emerges from his palms. In front of my eyes, he begins to spread his arms and out of his left palm, handle towards the right hand, slowly stretches out his sword. He holds it sheepishly now, looking up to my dumbfounded gaze with a contrite smile. "Yeah," he concludes, "that's... pretty much it." I whistle appreciatively.

"Nice," I say. "That's even more practical than Mokona."

"I could show you how to do it if you'd like," he offers. I smile wistfully.

"I don't think trusting anything to my magic is a good idea," I say acerbically. The boy seems to realize his mistake and retreats quickly.

"I-I'm sorry, really Aisha I didn't think, I-"

"It's okay," I cut him off, turning to the window. I've been trying not to think of my magic lately. Trying not to think of how it refused to come to life to save Fai, and yet appeared so easily to heal Anthony's grandmother. Trying not to resent it for being so unpredictable. "I think the chicken's done. Could you fetch the oven mits? They're right beside Kuro-sama's sake."

XxX

"Sakura?" I ask to the door in front of me. "Can I come in?" There's a heavy silence.

"Please leave me alone," the princess finally replies. I shuffle awkwardly in the empty hallway. The sky is dark outside and we've already lost our running water; I don't want to sleep, but my eyes are closing on their own.

"But, Sakura..."

"I want to be alone," she interrupts me. Her voice is implacable, leaving no room for discussion. I grimace; she isn't really alone. No, no matter how discreet they try to be, they can't hide the vague twist of lilac emanating from our room. She's with Fai.

Silently, I walk to the living room and sit on the couch. My arms come up protectively around me and I bow my head into them. I know nightmares are coming tonight, and Sakura is alone in our room with Fai and doesn't want to be disturbed. I almost wish we were still in Tokyo so that I could go and sit in the acid rain; perhaps then the aching of my heart would loosen somewhat to the burning of my skin. I want to cry.

My hand softly bruhes against the long sleeves I wear to hide my scars from him. Why is it that I'm the one who cried for him, the one who agreed to give my blood for his life, and she's the one who gets to be with him late at night, talking, while I sleep on the living room couch? I don't get it. I bet he would drink from her if she had been the one who tried to save him.

For the first time in weeks, I let myself fall back and sob in my hands. It's so unfair.

XxX

"_Hm... well, aren't you a tricky one to pin down," the voice says above me. "I've lost you already. But don't worry, I'll find you again." This time the world is dark, and I can't feel my limbs. I have a sudden urge to run. "Tut tut, so soon? I haven't even started on you yet." She chuckles madly. An icy hand comes to frame my face. "I want to hear you sing for me tonight, alright?"she whispers softly in my ear. _

XxX

"Kid? Kid!"

My eyes snap open and I panic. There are the hands again, one pinning my arms down over my head and the other gagging me. I fight against them and try to scream. No, no, this isn't happening for real...

"Wake up, kid!" The world comes into focus; it's Kurogane standing above me, his eyes alight with worry. "Are you okay?" I force myself to calm down, slowing my breathing until it is nothing but a light pant. It's over. I'm awake now.

Kurogane lifts his hand from my mouth. "You were screaming so loud, I thought you'd wake up everyone in the building," he says, almost apologetically. I close my eyes and let my breath hiss out from between my teeth. She's gone. It's all over.

"I'm fine," I say, sitting up and blinking in the light pouring in from the window. "What time is it?"

"About seven. Are you sure you're alright? What were you doing, sleeping here?" I shake my head in an attempt to clear it. It's been a week now since I've slept on the couch for the first time, and I've only spent three nights in my room since. Sometimes it's because Sakura wants to be left alone and I can't stay awake until she agrees to open the door; and sometimes it's because Fai's in there with her, and then I don't even bother to ask if I can come in. Ironically, when I'm out here I can barely sleep at all because I keep thinking of what's going on through the door.

After all, Fai's not afraid to touch _her_.

I hurriedly erase that image from my mind before I start crying. I try to convince myself that it's not something Sakura would do – _she loves Syaoran_, I repeat over and over again, _she still loves him, so she would never agree to that..._ But Syaoran's gone now, and there is such a thing as a rebound.

Shit.

I throw my blanket over me and swing my legs off the side of the couch before heading towards the kitchen. Did I need to go to the market this morning? It's almost too late now, but there's still a chance I'd get a few decent fruits and vegetables, a loaf of bread, maybe some milk if I'm lucky.

"Kid. Why were you sleeping on the couch?" It's Kurogane, following me step by step with the look of someone who will not accept a rebuttal as an answer.

"How hungry are you for breakfast?" I ask, opening the fridge. Crap. I overslept, and I _did_ have to go to the market.

It's a bit of a miracle neither Fai nor Sakura have mentioned anything about me sleeping on the sofa this past week, or even shown the slightest remorse for their responsibility in that. They obviously know I'm not sleeping in my room; where do they think I spend my nights?

"Why were you screaming? Was it that cut you got last time, did you roll onto it? Did you have a nightmare again?" the ninja continues shooting questions at me like pebbles, as though asking them in rapid succession will force me to answer at least one.

"I'm working this afternoon so you'll have to make supper for yourselves, is that okay? Do you guys want to come over and train?" I know I'll train regardless – if only pummelling my knuckles into the wall. I need some sort of physical pain to forget about the nightmares, and that dreadful image of Fai and Sakura I can't seem to shake out of my head. Especially that last one.

Clyde and his grandfather are leaving the shop to Clyde's friend and I today. I haven't met the boy yet, since this past week I've only been learning the trade with the owner, but Clyde said his name was Ken or something to that avail. He'll be pretty easy to find; half of the time the shop is empty except for its employees and owner.

"Kid, look at me," Kurogane growls. I turn and meet his gaze.

"Yes?" I say as calmly as I can. I can tell that he's angry.

"Was it a nightmare again?" he asks slowly, deliberately stretching out every word. "I haven't seen you have a fit like that since we first landed in that other world." Of course he can tell there's something more than just nightmares afoot; he's not stupid. But I won't tell him. There's no point in worrying him about that, especially since there's nothing to be done about it.

"What do you think it was?" I reply sarcastically, just as slowly. He's asking questions to which he already knows the answers and it's bugging me. "Are you coming to train today or not?"

"Why were you sleeping on the couch?" I slip past him.

"I have to go to the market if you want something to eat for lunch. What would you like?"

"To know why you were sleeping on the couch," he replies without missing a beat. I sigh.

"Listen..."

"Good morning Kazumi-san, Kurogane," Fai's voice suddenly rises from the hallway and we both freeze. He's looking a lot healthier now – he still won't drink every day, but he does so regularly enough to sustain himself. I turn to face him.

"Good morning," I say. "I was on my way to the market, would you like something?" His smile is icy cold. Another question that slipped without thought, as a force of habit. He doesn't eat anymore.

"No thank you," he says. I nod. "Did you sleep well?" I freeze again, halfway to the door. That question was meant as more than just a pleasantry, and I know it. I turn my head to see him smiling grimly at me. He knows exactly where I slept last night, and he knows exactly why. And he's not apologizing.

I feel my heart drop. Of course he won't feel sorry for that. I'm nothing to him.

"I could have slept better," I answer, shooting him an equally coerced smile and nearly running through the door. I've forgotten the things I needed to buy at the market by the time I reach the bottom of the staircase; I just need to get out of there.

XxX

Why can't he just hurt me like he wants to so much, instead of torturing me like this? Even when we train, when nobody could blame him for lashing out at me, he restrains himself. He won't hit me directly, even when I open myself to give him an easy target. Even when I practically beg for it. And of course, he won't drink from me. So he nudges at me with his words, glares at my back when he thinks I don't see and leaves me to wonder when he will finally right the balance between us.

When he'll finally hurt me just as much as I've hurt him. And I'll take it without a word, I promise.

XxX

I don't know what I was expecting in my new colleague. But it definitely wasn't this. No, actually, pretty much anything _but_ this.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, shared between happiness and grief. This is the worst possible time for this, for a reminder of more peaceful times, for the factice promise of a breath of fresh air in this endless tunnel... and yet I just want to run over and hug him. Even though it's not really him.

"Hi," I finally manage, my throat locked. "I'm Aisha Kazumi, I work here now."

Raken smiles down at me, his green eyes twinkling. "Hey there, little woman," he says, offering me his hand to shake. He runs over me with his gaze. "You don't look like much, but if Old Gramps hired you then you must have quite a hand," he adds. I nod, unable to hide my unease. I was already on the verge of tears when I left the apartment, and now I don't know what to do with myself. And then dread overcomes me; I'm starting to realize who his "little brother" must be.

"I... uh... my teammates might come later to train a little, if the practice room is empty," I say sheepishly, slipping behind the counter. Raken's eyes light up with interest.

"You're in a Chess team?" he asks. "Let me guess... Queen?" I shake my head, still resisting the urge to hug him. I really hope that his brother isn't working today as well, because then I very well might break down. I've missed them so much.

"Pawn," I say. He lifts an eyebrow, impressed.

"Well, aren't you a little fighter then! No wonder Old Gramps thought you were cut out for this; you'll have no problem dealing with the customers whatsoever."

"Are they really so bad?" I ask, trying to put some bravado in my voice. I haven't really seen anyone very threatening since I've started working here. Raken shrugs.

"Most aren't, but some of them will give you trouble. Watch for the big ones, if they think they can intimidate you into giving them discounts – or think it's funny to use the weapons we sell to try and get us to open the safe. That's never fun. First rule here: if you need help, there's absolutely no shame in calling for backup. But Clyde already told you that I expect?" I nod, keep nodding so that I don't have to look at him directly in the eyes. Despite the different setting, he looks almost the same as he did that first night we met in the woods of Shura, green eyes alight and a bright smile.

That's when I see him from the corner of my eye. I cast my gaze down and tell myself that I imagined it. He's not here. I didn't just see him.

"Come on and say hello, don't be shy!" Raken calls teasingly, and I feel him move closer.

"Hi," he says, and I can almost hear the blush in his cheeks.

"Hey," I reply, still refusing to meet his eye. Raken gives an earth-shattering sigh.

"And now I work with two shy kids! Really, what were the odds of finding someone as timid as you, Henrik?" His brother mutters something about shyness not being a disease, and I finally dare to look up.

There he is, grey eyes and dark hair, the slight blush on his cheeks that I knew was going to be there before I even set eyes on him. My throat locks up and once again I feel the urge to run and hug him, to squeeze the very life out of him. I've never realized how much I've missed him until now, when I see him again.

"It's nice to... meet you," I force myself to say, holding my hand forward. The same hand that healed him on the rooftop on Ashura-ou's palace, the same hand he massaged and wheedled to life after I had exerted it out of despair. Not really him, but him. Is this how Kurogane felt when he met Tomyo-chan in Piffle?

He shakes my hand timidly and tries a smile. "Welcome to the team," he says.

"Yes, welcome to the team!" Raken exclaims, putting a hand on both of our shoulders. "We should go out to celebrate, what do you think? I know this nice pub downtown where they really like me."

"You mean you really like the barmaids," Henrik mumbles. The man laughs.

"There's nothing wrong with a bit of healthy socializing," he replies. "So, what do you say?"

"I, uh... I don't drink," I say apologetically. Raken shrugs.

"They make good virgin drinks too if you ask them," he replies. "You really have no choice, so you better do like Henrik here and learn to follow what I say without protesting too much." His younger brother nods resignedly. "Come on, right after work we'll go out, it'll be fun! You can even invite your team to come if they show up this afternoon." I grimace at the thought; no, I don't want them to come anymore. Fai will be angry. I don't know why, but he never seemed particularly fond of Henrik and seeing him now will probably bother him.

"I'm not sure," I grumble. Henrik shrugs and sighs.

"Look, Raken just told you that you don't really have a choice. He'll carry you over there kicking and screaming if he has to, trust me, so just say yes and suffer through it. You never know, you might actually have fun." I pass a hand though my hair.

"Fine," I say, although I'm not sure this will go over well with the others. Then my expression grows dark. It doesn't matter what they think; I'm allowed to do something for myself once in a while. And if anyone, especially Fai or Sakura, object, well then they can go look somewhere else. "Yeah, I'll go," I say, and smile. Raken grins victoriously.

"Great! I'll introduce you to all my friends there!"

"He'll introduce you to all the girls he flirts with there," Henrik translates. "Which is pretty much the whole staff of the last three years." That actually rips a laugh from me. I haven't really laughed in a long time. It feels good.

The bell at the door rings, and all three of us turn towards it. It's Syaoran-kun with his knives in their sheathes, followed closely by Kurogane. A slight bump under his coat indicates where Mokona is hiding. Fai files in shortly afterwards, Sakura in tow. I'm not sure why the princess is here, but I guess she's finally deigned to feign interest in what we do to win those games.

"Oy. We thought we'd come early today," the ninja says as a greeting. I nod, frankly disappointed that they would come so soon. I was actually starting to relax a little.

"Is this your team? Hey there, I'm Raken, this is my little brother Henrik and the practice room is in the back. You won't steal her too long, will you? I mean, she still has to earn her pay, right?" he laughs. Syaoran-kun and Kurogane eye him a little blankly, clearly undecided about how to reply. Sakura is staring at Henrik like she's sure she's seen him before but can't remember where. And Fai, upon hearing their names, flashes an angry glare in Henrik's direction. The boy looks at me, visibly uncomfortable at all the attention, and I just clear my throat.

"Well, the sooner we start, the sooner we finish, right?" I say, and head for the back. "I'll see you later guys, just call if you need my help." My fists are already clenching; I need to hit something. Now. Hard. I can't let myself believe that Henrik and Raken will save me this time. I need to remind myself of what my reality is.

My reality is fists punching brick walls, over and over again, despite knowing very well that they will never crumble.

XxX

It seems like every muscle in my body hurts. New bruises grow over the old ones all over my skin; in some places it is of a green colour so disgusting that even I have trouble looking at it without feeling sick. And yet it's better than the numbness and the ice – I'm ready to hurt as much as I can bear to avoid going through that again.

Although it would be so much easier if I would just let myself surrender to it.

I'm standing in front of the bathroom mirror, my fingers distractedly tracing the outline of the bruise Kurogane gave me today when he crushed my arm under both of us while pushing me down. It's still incredibly sensitive to the touch.

The ninja was waiting for me when I came back tonight, after going out with Henrik and Raken. He was sitting on the couch, exactly the same way I would sometimes wait up for my mom when I knew she was out drinking and wanted to avoid a scene when she walked through the door.

"Your shift ended at eight," he grumbled, showing me the luminous numbers on the clock. It was only eleven thirty, but still much later than when I should have come home.

"We went out afterwards," I said defensively. Almost immediately he rose, walked over to me and leaned over to smell my breath. "I didn't drink!" I hissed, pushing him away angrily. He grunted and turned away, frowning.

"Tell us next time you do something like that," he said gruffly. "We didn't know where you were. The kid was really worried."

I know he was worried too. He'll never say it, but I know he was. I guess I feel guilty now, a little bit... I look at my own eyes in the mirror. The man is the only feeding source of the vampire sleeping in the next room, he trains long and hard to participate in a tournament where death is easily possible, he drinks when he thinks that I'm not looking and often wakes up with hangovers, and if he knew I was worried about him he'd shrug me off. So he can expect the same reaction from me.

Kurogane wasn't the only one waiting up for me. When I turned the corner to see if my room was a viable sleeping option tonight, I heard Fai's voice coming from his bedroom door. He was still fully dressed, leaning nonchalantly in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Did you have fun?" he asked acidly. "With Henrik, was it?" I stopped and turned to him.

"Are you thirsty, Fai-san?" I snarled. It's the only sentence that can always make him leave. I will not let myself feel guilty for this. His eye flashed golden.

"No thank you, Kazumi-san," he replied, slamming the door. I stood in front of it, nostrils flaring in anger. I did have fun tonight, but now it doesn't seem to matter anymore; because everything is the same.

I hate it. I just hate it all.

We talked about work and they asked me about a hundred questions about myself that I didn't want to answer so I changed the subject and Raken introduced me to the entire pub – well actually, he stood up on the table and dragged me with him while yelling "Say hello to Aisha, the new weaponsgirl at Gramp's place!" to which everyone cheered and screamed my name as an excuse to down some more ale. Then I helped Henrik carry his brother home because Raken had drunk too much. We laughed and snickered at Raken's drunken bravado before letting go of him, only to watch him stumble into a brick wall. But none of that matters.

I pick at my bruises, jabbing one of them repeatedly until it stings so much I can't stand it. That's exactly what he's doing, picking out every sensitive area still left in my mind and poking at them again and again. It's not any one sentence that hurts enough to make me cry; it's all of his words strung together like a tight rope around my neck, strangling me. He could just pretend to care, or at least shut up once in a while. Or hit me and get it over with.

I look up into the mirror again, my eyes watering from the pain of my bruise. "Everything's fine," I say, over and over again like an incantation, "everything's fine, everything's fine..." My voice suddenly breaks and I look away, unable to sustain my gaze. I just remembered why I usually smile while saying things like that; because when I let my eyes scream my true feelings, even I can barely stand the sight of them. I'm lying.

I can't give up; I have to get home, I have to win this tournament and help Anthony, I have to help Sakura find her feathers...

Except that I can't go home anymore, Sakura won't use the tournament money for what she says she will and she's not telling us what she's really after. And I have to stay strong?

Yes, at least that is clear. I can't let myself crumble. I won't allow it. Aisha Kazumi doesn't crumble.

Not after tonight anyways.

I let myself fall on the cold tiles, sobbing tearlessly. I have no more tears. The floor under me is like ice. I bring a hand to my chest; it's burning. Tonight is the last time I will allow myself to surrender to despair. Tomorrow I will be smiling as I fork over breakfast, I'll joke around with Mokona and I'll maybe hum a little while cooking supper.

I'm not fine, but nobody else has to know that.


	45. The Tower and the Fool

**I'M SO SORRRREEEEEEEEYYYYYY!**

***Riku moment***

**Alright, this was supposed to be up a lot sooner than this but then I got perfectionist and had to go over it fifty times – and with the six projects I had due before exams, and the holidays and all that, I didn't get much time to proofread. Yeah. So I'm sorry. It's long though, so maybe that will appease you? **

**I apologize a lot for updating stuff late, don't I? :S**

**Oh, and I know it doesn't snow in Infinity in the manga, but it's cold where I live so it's cold where Aisha is. That's the best justification I can give for that little tidbit.**

**And the piece's name is a rook, I'm sorry I've been calling it a tower... in my defence it's called a tower in pretty much every other language... english is just weird I guess :/ *Kidding, kidding...***

**Hopefully now I'll be able to concentrate on my homework – sociology project? What's that? :D**

**I apologize if it sucks.**

**P.S. I'm really proud of my title for this chapter ^_^ Tarot AND chess reference in one stroke? Lovin' it!**

**XxX**

I stand perfectly immobile in the bright light. My arms are slightly spread beside me; my fans open like wings at my side. My eyes appear to be staring straight ahead, but they are really locked on the dark corner where one of the cameras is hiding. I know there are more around the ring, but this is only one I've been able to pinpoint for sure. With the chocker tight on my neck and the chains wrought around my body like the chasm for a jewel I know I look disconcerting, even frightening. I just hate to leave the Vision ambassador out of the fun.

The team in front of us seem confident, but one of them is clutching his spear too tightly and another licks his lips almost incessantly. They're nervous. It becomes easy to tell after a while – and I guess we must seem intimidating, especially with Kurogane glaring fiercely towards our opponents.

"READY... GO!" The white team in front of us dives forward. Only a second more and we are joining them.

XxX

"_You're not going anywhere!" I hear a voice behind me yell. _

"_Who's going to stop me?" I shoot defiantly. The blast from his kudan hits just in front of me and I swerve to dodge it._

"_You're not protecting your territory by running away like that!" the gang leader screams after me. His two henchmen grunt in approval._

"_Why do you keep saying I'm running away?"I call back, turning into an alleyway. _

"_You're not doing your pride any good by denying it!" a henchman growls. When I reach the end of the alley, I turn around to face them._

"_Do you think I'm stupid enough to try and escape you through a dead end?" I ask with a wolfish smile. The three of them stop short and stare for a moment, puzzled, at the young, unarmed girl facing them down. Etsuko and Shinju drop from the emergency staircase behind them._

"_Hello there," Etsuko calls, smiling brightly. Shinju says nothing, simply judging our three opponents. There's a moment of confusion for the three gang members between us as they realize that they've been trapped, and finally settle into a circle formation, each facing a different direction. One of the henchmen is glaring directly at me, his fist already clenched. I cock my head to the side playfully._

_Our kudans move first._

XxX

I don't think we've had this much trouble with a team since... well actually, I can't remember ever having this much trouble pining our opponents down. For what feels like an hour, all I can do is react to the moving hands and feet around me, slash instinctively at the white ghosts dancing just outside my reach, without ever getting a clean, definitive hit. Syaoran-kun and Fai don't seem any more successful than I am. From what I can tell Kurogane is faring a little better than us, but his unwillingness to downright run through any of them with his sword is holding him back. They're crafty, I have to admit; never staying in place long enough to allow any of us to focus on one of them at a time. It's always left and right, front and back, then again before you can take a breath.

They can't keep moving forever though. At one point they'll have to stop, and then we'll have the upper hand.

Somehow both factions end up at opposite ends of the ring, facing each other without it being obvious who retreated and who simply stopped. There's a slight tingling on my shoulder; when I pull my hand away, I'm surprised to see blood. I didn't even notice I'd been hit. I look around. Fai favours one foot for what can only be a moment before putting it down again; small tears in his clothing indicate wounds that have already healed. Syaoran-kun is a little worse, with a fresh bruise on his cheekbone and a thin slice across his thigh, nothing deep. Only Kurogane seems completely untouched.

Thankfully, the other team isn't exactly holding up better than we are. I notice with some satisfaction that for all the trouble they're giving us, they seem at least twice as injured – bruises and cuts, and even what looks suspiciously like a claw mark on their lancer's arm. I shoot a surprised glance at Fai, but the mage seems completely oblivious to this. The mark doesn't seem particularly deep though – maybe in the heat of the action I used my nails, I don't remember. I don't remember anything much, really.

Then we move again, simultaneously this time, and I still don't know who initiated the charge. My left arm feels heavier than usual, and slower too. It can't be Sakura, because nobody else is slowing down and it's just my arm, really. There's no pain, so it can't be injured either.

I don't have time to think about what's wrong with my arm before the battle catches up with me. There's no time to do anything but blocking and retaliating. I think it would be better if my arm did hurt; that way I would feel something. No time for thinking or feeling anything here.

There's one of them coming up to my left, spear pointed directly at my abdomen. I take a step back, slicing under his arm – but that's when the pain decides to come, sharp and quick like lightning. My arm falters and I miss, and I brace myself for the incoming blade in my flesh.

XxX

_My hands are gripping the bird-kudan's talon so hard that my knuckles are white, and I am still debating whether it's to pry myself out of its grip or to hang on for dear life. The buildings flow under us like a mad stream and I can hear Etsuko screaming something over the wind._

"_What?" I yell, trying to steal a glance of her behind the aquatic-looking sprite holding her locked in her arms._

"_Jump!" she screams. _

"_Are you crazy?" Shinju shouts, his face white. He's always been afraid of heights. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. My guess is that they'll drop us eventually anyway, so we might as well go by our own terms. _

_I open my eyes. Etsuko's dragon is coming into view, flying like a crimson arrow toward us. Under the rooftops, slaloming between them is my kudan; I can feel her even though she is only a furtive shadow. Slowly, I let go of the kudan's talon and smile. _

"_Meet you guys back at the alley!" I call, then give a vigorous kick into the bird-kudan's stomach. It lets me go with a shriek. I open my arms and fall through the air. Above me the red dragon slashes through the water sprite as Etsuko clambers onto its back, and Shinju's insect-like kudan has finally appeared._

_It never once crosses my mind that she might not catch me._

XxX

He's lying on the ground, motionless, a few feet from where I stand. No trace of blood on him, no sign of injury. His Queen yells something and he begins to sit up, painfully holding his head. Our eyes meet for a second and he grimaces.

"BLACK WINS!"

"What?" the white Queen screams in ire. Slowly, as though they weren't sure what to do, the teams stop fighting.

"The present game having already gone on for thirty minutes, the referee has declared that in virtue of great fighting technique, the black team is victor," the White Rabbit declaims importantly.

I could have sworn I'd missed him. There's only one explanation, but I don't like it at all. I don't want my magic to come back.

As my heartbeat slows, the pain grows sharper and sharper in my shoulder and arm. Reaching back, I notice a small knife protruding from my skin, just above my shoulder blade. Am I so numb that I didn't even notice that? With a groan I pull it out, feeling a surge of blood flow out of the wound and down my back.

"If the smell bothers you Fai-san," I say, looking back, "you can leave." The mage is staring at the junction between my shoulder and my neck, his eye for just a second flashing gold. Suddenly he blinks, nods, and hurries off to the other end of the arena, where Sakura is waiting.

"Are you alright?" Syaoran-kun asks me. I nod, looking to him for the first time since the second stage of the fight.

"I'm fi- Oh my God, what happened?" I exclaim, seeing his face covered in blood. He chuckles nervously.

"I was punched in the face a few times, but it's alright," he shrugs. "One of these guys was very strong, but I managed to get rid of him." My face falls into an expression of disbelief as I look at him. I can't help a low chuckle.

"You still like a challenge, don't you?" I say, smiling. It's like watching him hanging out with Ryu-oh all over again, except – oh, I wish I could forget that they're two different people. They seem so alike sometimes. "I never thought you'd enjoy fighting so much."

He grins, his white teeth offering a strange contrast to the dark crimson smearing his chin. "Well, I do like improving my fighting techniques," he says, "and I've never met people who fight like this before."

"Street punks?" I tease. "Yeah, we're pretty tough aren't we?" I glance towards Kurogane, who grunts and looks away.

"I never said anything against your style of fighting," he grumbles.

"Oh no, except 'it's too crude', 'there's no technique to it', and 'have you ever had any actual training'? But I agree, it's all pretty true."

"I'm just wondering why they decided on us to win," the ninja grunts, and our mood swiftly plummets.

"You just can't let us have any fun, can you?" I mutter as an attempt to humour, but my heart isn't into it.

"Perhaps they really did think our fighting was superior," Syaoran-kun suggests.

"Or maybe they got bored and picked at random," I add. Kurogane grimaces.

"Maybe. Now let's get you two home before you stain the floor, alright? That mage is going to have a horrible night's sleep, I can tell."

"If he'd drink to his fill, he wouldn't have this problem," I shrug, following them towards the exit.

I snap to attention suddenly, looking up to the dark corner where I know the camera is hiding. Did I just...?

XxX

"_It was probably a bad idea to mention that their kudans wouldn't be able to hurt a fly," Etsuko says sheepishly as Shinju puts a bandage on his scrapped knee. His kudan still hasn't mastered smooth landings._

"_Yeah, well next time I feel like getting turned into a pancake I'll call you for help," he grumbles. I laugh._

"_It all ended up okay," I say._

"_Okay? I'm going to need therapy for that," Shinju exclaims. "I can barely stand the view from my apartment!"_

"_Are you complaining again? You know worry lines are bad for your skin," Kaede says, poking her head in the door._

"_Near-death experiences aren't much better," he says, but calms down a little. She walks in and grabs a handful of his hair before pulling his head down._

"_No grey hairs," she notices calmly, examining his scalp. "My diagnosis is that you're going to live."_

"_You really mean it, nurse?" he asks playfully, looking up with a charming smile. Really, I doubt his sexuality sometimes. _

"_Yay! Let's celebrate by going out for cake!" Etsuko cries out gleefully. _

"_Yes, cake is exactly what you need," Kaede agrees, still playing the nurse. "Moreover, _free_ cake."We all look pointedly at Etsuko, who grimaces._

"_Aw, alright. I'll pay, since it's kind of my fault."_

"_I want chocolate!" I announce with a grin. Every gaze shifts towards me, and Shinju waves a finger in my direction. _

"_No," he says. "No chocolate for you. I care about whatever little sanity I have left."_

"_You're still sane? Poor thing, and I who thought hanging out with us had gotten rid of that problem long ago," Kaede says with a small smile. He grimaces._

"_I'm still sane enough to know my mother will freak out if she sees these scratches. How am I supposed to tell her that her only son nearly died today?"_

_The world begins to fizzle into black, like a burning negative._

"_I'm sure you can..."Etsuko starts, but the black swallows the rest of her sentence._

_A deep chuckle and a hand on my throat._

"_Funny how easy lies like this are easy to believe, isn't it? There's so much that you don't know about yourself... Would you care for a little concert tonight? I hope your voice is well rested..." _

_Pain._

_And screaming._

XxX

"How do you know them?" I turn to Henrik, blinking wildly. I was falling asleep on the front desk.

"Huh?" I ask, my thoughts muddled. The boy smiles shyly and gestures for the door, where Kurogane and the others disappeared only a few seconds before. Or was it... How long have I been half-asleep?

"Your team, how do you know them?" he asks again. "You all seem pretty different, I was just wondering..." I brush my bangs from my face, taking a deep breath. We've never actually decided on a story ever since we arrived here, mostly because nobody has seemed interested enough to ask before.

"Sakura's a friend of mine," I start with the most obvious, "and Syaoran-kun is..." don't make them related, they should just know each other through someone else, "he's my cousin. Kurogane is my brother, Fai-san is his friend," I conclude, scratching my head uncomfortably. I didn't have enough time to think of a suitable reason for why we know each other; but now that a story is out in the open, I'll have to tell the others so they can stick to it. I wonder if they'll be okay with this one. Family just seemed like the simplest way to go.

"Did you guys date or something?" Clyde suddenly barges in the conversation, unwanted as ever. I glare at him.

"What are you even talking about?" I say to his smiling face.

"You and that Fai guy. Did you guys date or something?" he repeats, unfazed. Henrik watches me with interest. I lift an eyebrow.

"Excuse me?"

"You know, date. Go out. Lassie does that sometimes, doesn't she?" Clyde laughs. My eyes flash towards a set of knives on the wall.

"Lots of sharp objects here," I mutter. "Wouldn't want them to find their way to your crotch, now would you?" The worst part is that I could do it; Kurogane's been showing me ways of slipping a blade to the most vulnerable areas so that your opponents don't realize what's happening until it's too late. And I wouldn't hesitate to use it on Clyde. A month later and he still isn't any easier to cope with.

"Um, so Clyde, so you want to come with in the back and help out with the new arrival of scrap metal? Your Gramps wanted us to separate the iron from the steel," Henrik blurts out, trying to avert the crisis. Clyde shrugs, his eyes going frantically from my hands to the knives.

"Yeah, I'll do that," he says, hurrying to the back of the store. I sigh. He's not a bad guy, he just really gets on my nerves. If I was in any mood to I would probably try to make friends with him, but I can't concentrate on things like that anymore – actually, I can't really think at all. I cook, and clean, and fight, and pretend that everything is going great, and as a result I have no energy to do much else.

"Aisha-san, seriously though... did you two ever date?" Henrik says softly before following Clyde. His cheeks are a vibrant shade of red.

I shake my head, wondering why they seem so interested by this. "No," I answer.

"Oh," he says. "I-it's because you always seems so tense around each other, that's why... I'm pretty sure that's why Clyde wanted to know too," he adds, and I can't help but smile at how he tries to defend him.

"That's just... we got into a fight with him about coming here," I lie. "He didn't want to follow but we forced him to, so he's still not too happy about that." Henrik just nods, as though that was all he needs in order to understand.

"Alright, then I'll leave you alone about it," he says. "Mind the fort while I'm gone, as Raken would say!" I smile.

"Aye, sir!" I answer with a military salute. He waves as he disappears behind a weapons' stand. I lean over the counter again, staring thoughtfully at the spot where he disappeared. The smile has vanished. So we have a story now. It shouldn't change anything, but for some reason it does. Now we have a reason to be attached to each other. A real, tangible, official reason.

Why am I so afraid of that?

XxX

I wipe my hands on the dishcloth and throw it over the tap to dry. Well, that's the dishes done.

"Any leftovers?" Mokona asks hopefully, peeking through the door. I laugh.

"You finished eating an hour ago!"

"But Mokona's hungy!" the little fur-ball whines, jumping on my shoulder. I sigh and roll my eyes.

"There is some pasta left, but that's for when the guys come home," I answer.

"Aw! They just had to be here! Since they weren't, then it's okay for Mokona to steal their food, right?"

"No, but there are some peaches from yesterday if you really want something."

"Alrighty then!" In a few seconds the fridge has been opened, and the peaches have been eaten. I put my head down.

"Really? You couldn't leave anything for the rest of us?" I ask.

"Well it's not Mokona's fault that Kurogane and Syaoran-kun aren't here! Mokona's hungry, so Mokona ate the peaches!" he replies smugly. The guys are gone to get some hardware to repair the leaking sink pipe in the bathroom. The closest hardware store is in another part of town, so even though they left a long while before supper they still aren't back.

"But you didn't even offer me any before you ate them all!" I laugh. "What if Sakura walks through this door and wants a peach now?" For a second Mokona actually seems guilty.

"Um... Mokona didn't think about that..." he mutters. The doorbell rings. I look up, frowning. I didn't even know we had a doorbell, which gives a pretty good guess on how often it's been used since we got here.

Mokona promptly disappears in my shirt as I walk to the door. I swing it open, casting a suspicious glance at whoever bothers to disturb us this late. It's Jay, still dressed in nothing but a pair of jeans and a white wifebeater, holding a black telephone in his hand.

"Phone call fo' yeh," he says, handing me the phone. "'s that o'her kid. 'll be damn'd 'f I figure out how he got meh number." Swiftly, I grab the telephone. What could have happened for them to think it necessary to call us to tell us about it?

"Hello?" I say worriedly. "Are you guys okay?"

"Hello," Syaoran-kun's voice answers with obvious relief. "I wasn't sure this would work, since I've never done it before. Can you hear me all right?"

"Yeah, I hear you fine. What is it?" Mokona squirms uncomfortably in my back.

"Well, something's happened here... we're not too sure, but apparently someone's been killed at one of the shops nearby..."

"Are you okay?" I ask hurriedly. I know they can both handle themselves in a fight, but if they were unharmed they wouldn't have bothered calling.

"We're both fine, we only heard about it afterwards," he answers just as quickly. "Really, we never even saw anything. I think Kurogane-san is a little disappointed about that, actually." I hear a low grumble that sounds remarkably like the ninja's voice.

"Syaoran-kun, why are you calling?" I say, getting a little impatient. None of this really makes sense to me.

"Well, the police is here and they-"

"Would you mind passing me Kuro-sama?" I ask. At least I know the ninja will answer my questions bluntly, without lingering on details that just confuse me even more. The police? What do they have to do with the reason they're calling?

"Ah, uh, okay," Syaoran-kun says. I hear some shuffling, and then Kurogane's gruff voice booms in my ear.

"What?" he asks. I wince and hold the receiver away.

"Just speak normally, Kurogane-san," Syaoran-kun's voice says from far away.

"Oh. Better now?" the ninja says, his voice now at a sustainable volume.

"Uh-huh. So, why are you calling? What's going on?" I ask, trying to keep the anxiety in my voice to a minimum.

"Some guy got killed, and now the police barred off the entire neighbourhood so we can't leave until they let us. They shouldn't do more than ask us a couple of questions, but we might not make it back before tomorrow morning if things keep going this slow. Just wanted to let you know."

"Um... okay," I say, a bit taken aback. I wasn't expecting that. "Tomorrow morning we have a game..."

"We'll meet you guys at the Complex if it goes that long. Don't worry about us, we'll find someplace safe to sleep if we can. These policemen look really pissed off," he adds, almost like an afterthought. I frown.

"I thought they didn't bother with crimes like that here? I mean, with the mafia and all." I suddenly remember Jay and lower my voice, offering him an apologetic smile.

"Probably one of their own who got killed then. A guy got tired of things and – click. Done," Kurogane answers, and I hear the shrug in his voice. I don't know what to say.

"And you don't care?" is all I manage. There's a long silence. "You know I can't tell what you're thinking unless you say something," I add. All I get is a grunt. I sigh. "Do you want me to come over and bring you guys some food?"

"You won't get in here even if you try," he replies. I throw my head backwards in frustration.

"Alright, so you guys are stuck there until who knows when, you probably won't be able to leave until the morning and if that happens you'll meet us at the Complex. And I'm not allowed to worry," I sum up, failing to mention all the problems this will cause me, the first of which is Fai. In his quest to drink as little as he needs to sustain himself, he's been feeding only every few days, when he starts growing weak. The problem is that this schedule brings him to today, and he hasn't yet drunk. And now Kurogane isn't coming back until the game.

"Sorry," the ninja says, as though he was thinking the same thing. "I'll make it up when I get back." I take a deep breath.

"Don't bother," I say. "It'll be fine." This isn't going to be fun. "See you later. Ask Syaoran-kun how to hang up." There's a jumble of voices on the other side, and then a click. I hang up and hand the phone to Jay.

"Thanks," I say with a tight smile. "I'll leave you the rent tomorrow, okay?" The landlord sends me a suspicious glance.

"A' right 'en," he says, takes back the receiver and says nothing more as I shut the door. I close my eyes.

"What's going on? Why can't Syaoran and Kurogane come back?" Mokona asks, popping up from my collar.

"Is everything alright?" That's Sakura, whom I hadn't noticed standing behind me. Fai is beside her, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets, looking sullen and lost in thought.

"Some mafia deal went wrong in their neighbourhood, so for now the police is keeping everybody put until they can figure out what happened. They probably won't be back for a while," I answer. "But they're fine, or so they say." The princess nods, her expression unreadable.

"That's good," she says. "Do you really think they'll be in time for the game?" I shrug.

"If Kuro-sama says that they'll be there, then they'll be there." I've learned that there's no point in doubting the ninja's word. He'll make it happen either way.

And of course, that's the first thing she worries about. Not whether they have a place to sleep or food to eat, but if they'll make it in time to help her win her precious Chess tournament.

"Fai-san, we need to talk," I say bluntly, deciding that putting it off isn't the best thing to do. "Kuro-sama doubts they'll be back before the game tomorrow morning and I know you haven't drank in-"

"No," the mage says, his eye suddenly narrowing and turning cold. Before I can say anything more, he vanishes in the hallway.

"Fai-san!" I call, running after him. He is not avoiding the conversation this easily. Not this time.

"I said no."

"You are not walking out there weak like you are! It's bad enough that you only drink when you really have to, but-"

"I can drink tomorrow morning."

"Oh yes, and then Kuro-sama will fight with an open wound on his arm!" I reply, thrusting out my foot to stop him from closing his bedroom door between us. "And in public too, I'm sure everyone there will have no problem watching a vampire sucking blood out of someone right in front of them!" He doesn't reply.

I'm angry. Angrier than I've been in a long time. I'm angry at Fai for refusing to drink like this, and I'm angry because there seems to be no reason he'll only drink from Kurogane. And I'm even angrier at myself for being so angry. I said that I would take it, that I wouldn't make him feel guilty for hating me, and here I am basically yelling at him for it.

"There's no reason for you to do this," I continue, trying to pry the door open but it won't budge. His eye gleams dangerously in the darkness on the other side. "There's no reason we can't talk about it."

"I said no," he repeats. I slap the wall beside me. Enough.

"And I refuse to walk out in that arena with an anaemic vampire or a freshly wounded man!" I exclaim. "I won't do it! The other team can win by default, I don't care!" Behind me, Sakura pulls in a frightened gasp. Fai's eye narrows. At this stage of the competition, losing a game means falling back, putting us in the running for second place at the highest. And that is unacceptable.

"Aisha..." Sakura starts in a soft voice, visibly trying to calm me down. I regain my composure and turn towards her.

"Yes, I know what it would mean," I hiss between clenched teeth. "I know that if we can't pull together a full team we lose the game. But I won't go if he won't drink. There's no point in us risking our lives more than we already do by walking in there unprepared."

"We won our first game," Fai points out sullenly.

"Yes, against a gang of street punks with no training, a hesitant Queen and armed with our own weapons. The teams are tougher now, and none of us are as comfortable with our new weapons as we were with the old. We won't win regardless, so I might as well step out and make it less painful," I reply, still with that dormant rage threatening to spill out at any second. I shouldn't be saying these things; I promised that I would act as though everything was fine. But this needs to end now, or we really will lose tomorrow's game and fall back in the tournament.

Sakura looks completely lost, her eyes darting everywhere as though a solution to her problem would be hidden in the shadows. "Aisha, you can't..."

"Fine." The voice makes us both jump in surprise. "Fine, I'll drink," Fai repeats gloomily, opening the door so suddenly that it forces me to stumble backwards. A cold smile lights his face. "Would you go get a knife, or would you prefer I mutilate you myself?" he says icily. I take another step back, looking up apprehensively to him. Here it is again, that feeling of being just a prey in front of him – I fall back under his gaze.

"Wait here," I say, and head for the kitchen. Suddenly my heart is beating fast in fear; this is actually happening. I begin to untie my bandages, and my fingers brush against the skin of my wrist. I wonder what it will feel like. Kurogane's never really wanted to talk about it.

"Are you alright?" Mokona's tiny voice rings behind me. I pause, my hand inside the knife drawer. My fingers close thoughtfully around a handle.

"Moko-chan, can you give me my knife?" I ask, turning to him. The fur-ball nods, then opens his mouth and spits out the knife that the weaponsmaster gave me, what feels like so long ago in Shura. I catch it, and pull it out of the sheath. The blade is as shiny as ever – and, I can guess, just as sharp. I shudder and place it back. This should work. "Thank you," I whisper. "I'm fine."

My footsteps echo against the floor as I walk back through the hallway. Fai is waiting for me at his door, arms crossed and eye glinting in the pale light. Sakura is there as well, watching with alarm. Her eyes grow when she sees the knife in my hand. Fai's eye is golden now, and I don't know if it's in anticipation for the blood he will soon have or because he wants to hit me for cornering him like this. Because of course he'll do nothing to upset Sakura's plans, and I knew this.

"In your room?" I ask. He nods silently.

I pretend not to notice when he shuts the door behind us. I unsheathe my knife a second time; it catches some light in the darkness and glints it back into my eye.

"I assume there's nothing I can say to make you take that back?" Fai asks from behind me. I shake my head.

"No." I press the knife against my wrist. Deep breath. Don't cut too deep. Slice.

I can't see my blood, but I feel it trickle down my arm in a small stream. Fai's fingers grab my wrist and bring it up gently. He traces one of my scars, so softly that I know it's by coincidence. There's no trace of his previous harshness in his movements, but I don't know whether this is submission before my victory or the calm confidence of the one who has captured his prey. I close my eyes. I know I'm the one who cornered him here, but for a second I'm not sure – which one of us is the game?

Something wet against the inside of my wrist, and I can't help a small gasp from escaping me. He stops as well, as though hesitating for a moment, and then I feel his tongue slowly pressing against the wound as though to push the blood out as he drinks it. I close my eyes and turn away. There's a small, painful throbbing in my wrist from the cut, only worsened by his touch. It's not that I can't stand the sight of blood, or even that I'm trying to forget what's happening, like when you turn away as the nurse gives you a flu shot and stare at the clock's hand ticking away the seconds until it's over. It's that I'm suddenly ashamed of being here.

I promised myself that I wouldn't hurt him, and I did. So I told myself that it would be enough to know that he was alive, even if he hated me, because then I would know that he was well. Fighting so that he would drink makes sense if you look at it; I couldn't save his life and then watch him throw it away.

Except that it's not enough. That's why I'm here. Because he needs to drink, but also because I wanted him to hurt me. To acknowledge my presence. To have some sort of relationship with him apart from sharp words and pointed glares, even if it's only a parasitic one.

A tooth, suddenly razor sharp, saws through my skin. I cry out in surprise, but it's as though he doesn't hear me. Surprise turns to pain as what must be his tongue delves deep into my flesh. I bite my lip.

"I'll_ drink your blood, little sorceress."_

No. _No. _That never happened.

He follows a trail of blood down to the crook of my elbow, and there again the sharp piercing of his teeth. I force myself to stay still. He's thirsty and needs to drink, it's not his fault. I can take this.

A sharp intake of breath as he bites deep into my arm. My knees buckle, but I catch myself on the wall; I have no right to take away his food source. Not when I'm the reason he needs it in the first place. Mostly though, I can't show weakness now, after forcing him to go through this.

It hurts. So, so much. Kurogane never said there was any more to it than a single slice; he never mentioned the teeth like fire, or the tongue pushing and twisting greedily in search for more blood. He never mentioned the weakness in your knees or the fear that Fai isn't going to stop in time and drain you completely.

And suddenly, it's gone. No more teeth, no more tongue, nothing wet against my skin but the blood still streaming down. Fai is somewhere behind me, breathing loudly.

"Thank you," he says in a strange, choked voice. "Goodnight."

"Fai-san, I..."

"I said goodnight."

I'm not too sure how I stumbled into the hallway, clutching my wrist to stop the bleeding, the door clicking shut behind me. Neither do I know exactly where my knife went; I probably dropped it on the floor and left it in Fai's room... well, I won't see it anytime soon regardless. I rest against the wall. I knew he would be angry and that it would be painful, but I never thought it would feel... so empty.

I don't want to cry, although by the weight in my chest I think I normally would; but all my tears have already been spent. I even let out a soft chuckle. I'm an idiot.

XxX

"_Did that feel good?" she asks with an amused growl, drawing the line of my new scar. I can't answer. She laughs. "What's wrong? Did your tongue get cut off?" She's too cheerful. I don't like it. The way she asks about my tongue, it's almost like she believes it could have been cut. Maybe she wishes she would have done it._

"_Do you believe me now, that he doesn't care?" she whispers, her breath slithering into my ear. I can't see but I distinctively feel the weight of a body pressed against mine. I struggle, but I can't seem to move. She chuckles. "You really are all grown up, aren't you? Precious, precious abomination..." _

XxX

I wake up panting, darkness all around me. This happens every night. I roll onto my stomach and rest my head in my hands. I can't sleep. I'm too tired. She's always there. Waiting. Staring. She's patient. She said so herself. I take deep breaths, forcing my heartbeat to calm down. It still hurts, not really pain but like the shadow of pain, somewhere in my abdomen. I can't remember, but I swear she stabbed me. A dry chuckle. It doesn't matter anyways. It's dark, and I'm alone. And I'm tempted to believe her.

XxX

"Kid? Kid, wake up!"

"Aisha!" I stumble to my feet, blinking furiously to make the world around me make sense. I would have sworn there was nobody behind me, but I guess there must have been because it sure as hell wasn't the guy I was fighting who knocked me down. I wasn't exaggerating when I said that we wouldn't have won with a team member down, not at this stage of the competition: maybe Kurogane has enough skill to defeat four advanced opponents at once but our competition is too intelligent to crowd around only one, and the rest of us are starting to struggle to hold our ground.

Syaoran-kun is the one who screamed my name, and he is now locking blades with my previous opponent. I trip the guy coming up behind him, probably the very same who caught me with my back turned, and swiftly bring him down with a hit to the back of the neck. I then twirl around Syaoran-kun and punch his opponent in the stomach, allowing the boy to elbow him in the head and send him to the ground. We exchange a small smile.

Fai expedites his opponent with a particularly savage stomp on the heel, and the man below him cries out in pain. Kurogane is already done, just watching us calmly from a corner of the ring.

"And you didn't help?" I call out to him. He shrugs.

"You were doing fine on your own, right? It's not like he was going to stab you in the back while you were laying there, he just walked off." I roll my eyes.

"Look who's cranky this morning," I say, as the White Rabbit yells the customary 'BLACK WINS!' and Sakura's chair begins to lower. "I told you to get some sleep at least."

"I slept," he growls, his temper and the dark circles under his eyes proving otherwise. I pout doubtfully. "Well it's like you, not waiting for me to get there and being a stubborn mule as usual," he replies gruffly, glancing at the bandage on my arm. I blink, surprised. I haven't mentioned that yet, but I guess he figured it out; Fai seems well-rested and fed, and there are a few russet patches on my left bandage. Of course he figured it out, now that I think about it – how could he not? He knew I was going to try as soon as we spoke on the phone.

Fai looks down and smiles coldly at the floor. He's been even worse than usual this morning. "Well, she didn't exactly have a light hand," he nearly snarls out through his teeth. "I'd almost have thought that you two worked out a strategy together." Oh, so that's what it is – he's angry. Figures. He hasn't mentioned my knife yet, although I'm positive that I left it in his room last night. Well I haven't given it back to Mokona, that at least is certain, and I don't have it. I don't actually remember much of what happened last night after he shoved me out the door.

Syaoran-kun is visibly confused, going from me to Fai and then to Kurogane with searching eyes. I just shrug. There's no point in dragging him into all of this if it can be avoided.

Silently, we pack up our weapons and begin to head out. Just as we step into the cold air outside, Kurogane comes up beside me and matches his pace with mine. I understand the message and slow down until the others are a fair length in front of us.

"What did he mean by that?" the ninja mutters under his breath. I shrug.

"I said I wouldn't compete today if he didn't." He grunts, frowning.

"Why would you do that?"

"Because he was in no shape to fight and between the lack of sleep and a fresh wound even you would have been pretty badly beaten this morning," I reply calmly.

"Well that was stupid," he grunts. "Who made your bandage?"

"I did."

"It runs up higher than yesterday."

"He... he went for my elbow too," I explain. His features twist in disgust.

"Slap him next time he does that," he simply says. I look up to him.

"Did he do that to you once?" I don't remember bandaging him any higher than the wrist.

"No, but slap him anyways. There's a limit to giving your blood for him, and that limit is pretty much at the wrist."

I think for a moment, trying to understand what he means exactly by this. "Well it does hurt more at the elbow – I find, anyways."

"Hm."

There's a short silence. "So, did you ask him if we taste different?" I cock my head to the side, surprised that he would remember that.

"I didn't exactly get the chance," I answer, shrugging.

"Threw you out, did he?" he laughs joylessly. "Does that to me all the time." I send him a strange glance. Are we bonding over this?

I laugh a little.

Weird. Despite all that is happening I can still find humour in two people bonding over being walking blood banks.

XxX

The bell rings merrily as someone enters the shop. I look up from counting the cash-register's money; it was Raken's job, but he gladly left it to me. Now he's in the back playing around with Clyde, trying out the new claymore Gramps made just yesterday.  
"Can I help you?" I say with a smile, but I'm reaching for the gun behind the counter as I say it. Everyone who enters here is one of various shades of seedy, but these two seem particularly troublesome.  
One is tall, lanky and brown-haired, dressed in a tired business suit and carrying a briefcase. He wears bulky sunglasses that hide his eyes. The other is stout and muscular, his arms covered in tattoos and a ring piercing his left eyebrow. The latter looks exactly the same as any other customer who walks through here, but it's the one in the suit that bothers me. Office workers never come here, or at least not before they've carefully torn off the suit and replaced it with a ripped t-shirt.  
The man in the suit smiles coldly. "Is the old man here?" he asks. I shake my head.  
"Sorry, he took the day off." He walks to me and places his briefcase on the counter.

"What about his grandson? He didn't take the day off as well I trust?" He doesn't believe me, I can tell by his voice.

"No, he's here," I answer, but don't call for Clyde. I want to know what's going on before I let them in any further. The tattooed man – probably his bodyguard – steps forward with a crack of his knuckles.

"Listen lass, we go' some bus'ness wi' them who owns deh place, got it?" he says, his voice pasty and none too bright. "So stop yappin' an' gettem here." My hand closes around the colt. I lift my chin up, staring him down.

"I don't take it kindly when people threaten me like that," I reply coldly. The businessman lifts his hand between us.

"There, there, no need to fight," he says. "Besides Hank, she can probably use half of the weapons here better than you." I follow his eyes to where my arm disappears behind the counter, and I know that he's guessed what I'm holding onto under there. The latches on his briefcase clap harshly as he opens it, then pulls out a stack of papers. "You're the new girl the old man just hired, aren't you?" he asks me, almost mockingly. I don't have to answer: "Of course you are," he continues, nodding. "I have here-" he shows me his papers, "-that you're entered in the Chess tournament, correct? Interesting... did you know a man was killed two days ago at the eastern shopping complex? Nasty business, very nasty business... What do you know about that?"

"What you've just told me," I answer defensively. "I hadn't heard of it."

His smile is openly mocking me now. "Really? You don't have two of your teammates who were present in the vicinity when these events happened? No, I'm sorry, they're not only your teammates, are they... I believe one of them is your brother?" My eyes widen and my heart begins to pound against my chest. How does he know about that?

"What do you want?" I snarl, pulling the gun from its nook just enough for it to be clearly visible. That he knows Kurogane and Syaoran were there I'd understand, especially since the police asked them some questions... but that they are my teammates, that he shouldn't be able to tell me. And if he thinks that Kurogane is my brother then that means there's only one person he could have gotten this information from...

"Yeh bitch!" Tattoo yells, already stepping behind the counter to tackle me. I turn the gun and point it at him, making him stop.

"Well I'd just want you to collaborate, because if you don't I'll be forced to think that you're hiding something, and given your family's suspicious whereabouts at the time of the crime, I'd hate to think what that might be..." he continues, smiling that horrible cold smile. For a moment I consider putting a bullet through his head. But surely he's not the only one who knows, and it would only bring more trouble wouldn't it?

"Clyde!" I yell angrily, my voice reverberating through the store. "Get over here!" The back door opens like thunder and out shoot Clyde and Raken, the later still holding the heavy claymore they were testing. Clyde is visibly confused by the scene in front of him – he probably knows these people, and wonders how to get out of this diplomatically... "They want to talk to you," I snarl, slowly placing the gun down and keeping him from having to find a solution. I'll let them go about their business. They want me to collaborate, so I'll collaborate; but when they're done, Clyde is going to find out that I really have been training with blades for the past month.

"Ah... alright, you two can step this way," he says, showing them into his grandfather's workshop and sending a worried glance my way. I throw the gun back into its place – the safety latch wasn't even pulled back. Idiot.

"What's wrong?" Raken asks, leaning against the counter as they disappear from our sights. I glare at the door as though I was trying to burn a hole through it.

"How much did Clyde tell them about you?" I ask acidly, balling my hands into fists so they stop shaking. He frowns, looks down, and I see his shoulders heave in a sigh.

"Oh," he says simply, as though it explains everything. "I thought you knew." He taps the claymore against his leg repeatedly, like a clock's tick ready to drive me mad. I'm fuming.

"I figured they'd know I existed," I counter, "but not about the tournament or my team-"

"Did he threaten you with that?" Raken asks suddenly, frowning suspiciously. I nod. "He must have been in a bad mood, because they usually don't threaten outright unless they want something specific." I pace back and forth, grab a knife from the wall and spin it incessantly between my hands. Someone is getting hurt. Soon.

"Did they threaten you?" I ask, still walking and glaring determinedly at the floor. He shrugs.

"Well with Henrik and I it's pretty easy to find what makes us tick..." he says. "We keep quiet or they go for the other. Simple. Who did they pick for you?" I shake my head. I'm not telling anybody else. From now on, any information about us is being held tightly against my chest, where nobody can get it.

Raken nods, like he understands. "Don't be so hard on Clyde," he says. "They know more about him than they'll ever know about us... besides, he has no choice. His Gramps could lose the business if they get cross – or worse."

"That's no excuse," I say, my voice already starting to crack. "He never said anything about that... if I would have known..." I regret now, answering Henrik's question about how we knew each other, or telling them that we all lived together, of talking about how the tournament was going...

"We thought one of the customers was going rogue when you screamed like that," Raken continues, a small grin on his face like he's trying to make me feel better. "We should have known you wouldn't need our help." I shake my head.

"Don't," I say, "thank you, but don't." He suddenly seems worried, and eyes the knife twirling in my hands warily.

"Why don't you give me that..." he offers, holding out his hand. I laugh – a short, dry laugh – and he backs away with his hands open in peace. "Alright, alright. But I'm getting out of the way as soon as he comes out."

"Suit yourself," I growl.

They finally walk out the door and Clyde hangs back in the threshold, watching me. I stare at him, my grip growing looser on the knife.

"Have a nice day," the one in the suit says, sarcasm dripping from his lips. The bells chime their departure. Raken steps behind the counter, trying to be innocuous, but it's obvious he's seeking shelter from the oncoming storm. Clyde puts his hands in his pockets, his face blank. I grit my teeth together.

"How much?" I ask slowly, menacingly. "Exactly how much did you tell them about me?" He looks at the ground, refusing to answer. "WHAT DID YOU TELL THEM?" I explode, dashing towards him.

Our blades clash right above his head. Does he carry one everywhere? He smiles painfully down at me.

"Did you really think I had a choice?" he asks. "I thought you knew this would happen eventually."

"He threatened them," I snarl. "He had no right... I won't let them manipulate us like this." Never again. "Do you hear me?"

"Fine," he replies, twisting my blade downwards. I am out of his reach before he can try to slice at me. "I told them you were in the Chess tournament, but they already knew that. I mentioned that you lived with your teammates, and I told them who they were to you. That's it. You keep your personal life so close to your vest that I didn't know anything else. Now stop trying to kill me, Lassie." I shake my head, twirling the knife nervously between my fingers.

"I never should have taken this job," I moan, "I should have listened to my gut..."

"Listen," he says, stepping forward, "I'm sorry, alright? I had no choice. I didn't know this meant so much to you, or else I wouldn't have asked Gramps to hire you. They're not usually so blunt about it – listen, I know that guy, his wife just left him and he's feeling miserable, that's why he threatened you. That's all. Why don't you take the rest of the day off, we can manage here just the two of-"

"SHUT UP!" The knife is flying before I realize what's going on, drawing a thin line of fire on Clyde's arm before lodging itself in the wall. I don't care that he had no choice, I don't care that he didn't know – neither of these are excuses for what he's done. "I should kill you," I growl, glaring at him, my arm still extended in the throw.

"Aisha!" That scream pulls me back into reality, as suddenly as an arm around my waist pulling me out of the water and leaving me, soaked and panting, vulnerable in the cold air. Clyde's eyes are wide, staring at me like I know that I am staring at him; he's completely frozen like a deer before headlights, scared and yet unable to run. I blink, realizing that my aim is terrible – I would have hit his heart as soon as miss him. And those last words... did I really say them?

I back away, shaking my head. "I...I'm..." I mutter, overcome with the sudden urge to run. That was going too far – what if my magic had reacted? What would have happened then?

I look to Raken, but his eyes give no comfort. He looks as though he doesn't know me anymore, shaking his head in disbelief. My foot hits something and I fall against a stand, sending spears raining around me in a clash of metal.

"I'm sorry," I blurt out. It's not so much what I said but the calm tone I had – like I really meant it. I crossed the line and went too far.

Clyde is still frozen in place, but manages to swallow. "You... yeh're really scary when yeh wanna be, yeh know t'at?" he whispers, his face never departing from its terrified expression. I blink, still unable to stop staring at him. It's like his gaze is holding me prisoner, beckoning me with the knowledge of what I was for an instant – I'm terrified of that knowledge.

Deep breaths, deep, deep... "I didn't mean that," I finally manage to say. "I won't... really. But I'm still angry at you, alright?" I stagger to my feet and run for the door without waiting for his answer.

"Wait right there," Raken says, grabbing my arm and pulling me back. "You're not going anywhere until you grab a hold of yourself. Besides, he has to start breathing again before I'll feel comfortable being alone with him; I'm not in the mood to deal with an unconscious Clyde right now." I turn to him and frown – there's a small smile on his lips.

"I'm breathin', I'm breathin'," Clyde says, brushing his hair back with an awkward smile. "I just thoug' she pinned meh for a secon' there."

"Language," I mutter under my breath, more as a reflex than anything else. Raken laughs.

"See? Humour – solves almost everything," he says. "You'll be alright?" I nod.

"I just got carried away," I say. It's true – I have no idea why I acted like that.

"Hey, I'll make it up to you Lassie, alright?" Clyde offers, coming up behind me. I stop for a moment, thinking. I won't let them manipulate us.

_So we'll just have to learn how to play by their rules, and be just as ruthless as they are._

I straighten up, closing my hand on the side of the counter and turning to face him. My eyes are narrowed, my mouth taught.

"If you ever hear anything about them that I should know, you tell me," I say slowly. "Is that fair to you? You tell them about me, so you tell me about them too." He grimaces, like he's bitten into something sour.

"Aw, gee, I was thinking more like a day off or something... Playing double agent, I don't think that's exactly smart."

"Playing double agent to what?" I ask, walking towards him. Raken lets me go, but I catch his gaze checking my hands for weapons. "I can't hurt them in any way, you know that. I just want a way to protect my team." My voice sounds pleading, and I don't like it. "Listen, that's all I want. I'll keep my mouth shut, I won't go looking for trouble or anything like that. I just want to know if they're planning something so that I can protect my family, alright?" I stop for a moment, eyes wide. I just used that word because they expected me to, right? Because it's what we're supposed to be according to our story? Yes, yes, that must be it. I wouldn't have said that otherwise.

The word seems to have an effect on Clyde, however, as his grimace gets wider. "Aw, alright Lassie. If I hear anything like that I'll tell you. Happy now?" I shake my head. No, I'm not happy, but it's better than nothing.

XxX

My knife is lying on the couch when I get back.

The blade is clean – not a drop of my blood is left on it – and the sheath looks almost as though it was polished. It's been placed carefully on one of the cushions, right at the spot where my head rests when I sleep there. I hold it up to the light carefully. It's taken him two days to give it back. At least he's had the decency to clean it, but – two days?

Then I pay attention to the voices coming from the rooms, and I understand. He's in there with Sakura tonight. I'm sleeping on the couch again and he knows it. I finger the knife in my hands, pulling it in and out of its sheath; how should I take this? As a wicked taunt, or as some kind of twisted peace offering?

With a sigh, I leave my knife on the coffee table and head for the closet. There's an extra blanket there, a tattered old thing that came with the apartment, and it's the one I use when I don't sleep in my room. I don't know what to think about the knife, so I'll just ignore it for now and sleep. It's getting late anyways – the shop is always open later on Saturdays for some reason.

I don't listen to their voices as I pass in front of my room. Whatever they talk about is their own business. Somebody must have heard me walking through the hallway, however, because barely a second after I close the closet Kurogane appear behind me.

"Sleeping on the couch again?" he says, low so that they won't hear. I nod.

"Yup." His eyes narrow as he glances to the door to my room.

"Shouldn't they go in his room? At least he doesn't have a roommate that'll be forced to sleep in the living room." I shrug. Like so many things, I haven't told him why I don't sleep in my room so often – he just figured it out.

"Goodnight," I whisper and walk back to the living room, but he follows me.

"I can't sleep anyways, I might as well stay up with you," he says. I turn to look at him.

"I was going to sleep, actually," I reply. He sends me a strange look.

"Uh-huh," he says sarcastically. "Like someone with bags that size under her eyes sleeps every night. You got me there." I scowl. It's true that I barely sleep, but it's not exactly my fault and he didn't have to spell it out for me.

"Well, tonight I was going to. I'm tired," I say, dumping the blanket on the couch and sitting down. He takes a seat on the armchair that we bought two weeks ago so that we could all sit in the living room without actually having to initiate skin contact with anyone else.

"You sure you're alright?" he asks, his voice somewhat softened. I grimace, rubbing the back of my neck.

"Yup," I lie, deciding to forget about today's incident in the shop. There's no point in scaring him when there's nothing to be scared of anymore. "Just tired." I really am exhausted, I realize as I let my head fall back. I close my eyes, just for a moment...

Somebody lifts me up, and I lift my head groggily. "Wha...?"

"It's his turn to sleep on the couch," a familiar voice grunts. I lift one hand, searching in the fog.

"My knife..."

"I'll go and get it. Just sleep now." My eyes are closing on their own.

I can't say I disagree.

XxX

"_Yuui!"_

_I jerk up, startled. For some reason there is only stone under me, stone and snow. I look around. There seems to be other people sleeping here too, bodies all pressed together - for warmth I'm guessing, - although I can't quite make out where we are._

"_Yuui!" That scream again, and this time I jump to my feet. What's going on?_

_I seem to be in some sort of refugee camp, filled with people in tattered clothing sleeping on the floor. I wonder why I'm the only one awakened by this yelling as I carefully make my way across the grounds. _

_Then suddenly, a voice answers, "I'm coming!"_

_There's a wall surrounding the campground, thick grey stone, so high that I can't quite discern its height in the dark. I see a small dot on the wall, a white blemish moving up, climbing I realize, slowly, so slowly..._

_Every thrust brings me closer to my goal. I wedge my bleeding, frozen fingers in the gap between two stones and pull up. I'm almost halfway there, and then I'll only have to go as far as I've already gone-_

_My right foot slips, and I feel myself fall. No. No, no, no! I was so close! "Fai!"I hit the pile of corpses with a dull thud._

_Now I sit in a dark room, watching a young boy clutching the bars of the only window. He was the one yelling. "Yuui! Yuui!" he cries, trying in vain to climb through. His blond hair is so long it falls to his knees in waves, and his skin is dry and blemished. Finally he sobs, letting himself fall to the ground. I edge closer to him; I don't understand what's going on, but I want to help. I wish I could._

"_I want to die, I want to die," he wails, burying his forehead in the stone wall. "I want to die. But first..." He lifts his head and looks out the window, this time not down to where the other boy is but up at the grey sky. In his eyes is a sort of hopeless defiance. "First, I wish someone would love me."_

_It's snowing. The pile of corpses is a little higher now than it used to be, and the boy's hair is longer. He lies in a small clearing devoid of bodies, looking up with dead eyes to the clouds and the flurry of snowflakes. Beside me is the body of a young woman, clutching a baby to her chest. Her dress is a bright emerald green, clashing with the browns and whites of the other corpses. A hood lined with dark fur almost completely covers her long blond hair. "All because of us..." the boy croaks softly, almost inaudibly. I look at him. My hand goes right through his and touches only the stone. _

_Then he blinks, and sits up. Disbelief is printed clear on his face. Something is falling from the top of the tower. _

_The wind is strong on my face. For a moment I feel almost as if I will fly, but the ground is coming fast, so fast... I see my reflection in Yuui's eyes. His mouth is open in a silent scream. This is what I wanted, wasn't it? If it means freedom..._

_The last thing I see is grey stone and snow._

XxX

My eyes open and I lay panting in the darkness. I don't know this room. My hand is searching frantically for something, anything to hold onto. Where am I?

Fingers close around my knife, and I pull it to my chest just as I recognise my surroundings. Fai's room. Kurogane took me to Fai's room. I roll off the mattress, nearly falling to my knees in my haste to leave this place. I have to walk, get away, do something. _Anything_.

I remember that fairytale. It's the one Fai told me, in Jade I think – the one from his country, about the Twins of Misfortune. Yet another nightmare. Can I not sleep one full night? Is that really too much to ask?

I stumble across the apartment, barely noticing the wizard's shape curled up on the sofa. He doesn't move when I pass him, and I'm glad – that way I won't have to ask him about the knife.

I can't get that image out of my head. The stone ground, so close... even though I know I never saw it, I can almost make out the splashes of crimson blood on the white snow. And then there was that boy's eyes... blue. I know the blue of those eyes.

It makes sense, since he's the one who told me this fairytale in the first place, but... oh God. Never ask me to watch his face filled with such despair again.

"_Fai!"_

I cringe. I screamed like that, not so long ago. Six weeks. It's been six weeks already. Is that what this is? Anguish, repressed fear, all culminating into this nightmare? I hope so. I really hope that's all there is to it. I hardly think she'd be above doing something like this just to torture me.

I climb over the sink and open the window wide. There's a ledge right under here, the ceiling to one of the boxes we live in, reaching out over the city. I let myself fall out of the window, for the first time noticing that I'm barefoot. Did he take off my shoes as well?

My legs dangle over the street below, basting in the cold electric light. I shiver; the wind is freezing. Now I wish I would have stopped to grab my coat before stepping outside.

"We're going to be okay..." I whisper to the sky, still holding on tightly to my knife for some reason. "I won't let him die. I won't let any of them die." A strange twinkle of light answers me, from a window on the other side of the street.

"What are you doing out there?" I turn with a start and see Kurogane looking out the window. He starts as I do, his eyes growing wide and panicked for a second.

"Don't move so fast, you're going to fall," he growls, settling back into his customary scowl. "And don't stand so close to the edge." I smile softly, inching back towards the wall.

"Better?" I ask. He nods, following me outside. I'd never thought he'd fit through that window, but it's surprising how nimble he is.

"Nightmare?" he replies, eyeing the knife clutched hard in my hands. I slide sideways to allow him to sit beside me.

"Maybe," I say.

His scars are clearly visible on his wrist, thin weaving lines. I brush against my own bandage, thinking of the almost identical scar under it.

"_Fai!"_

I wince.

"We were selfish, weren't we," I whisper. Kurogane follows my gaze, then pulls me a little closer.

"I guess we were," he says softly.

XxX

"Ready?" Henrik calls out from the other side of the training room. I peel myself from the wall with a groan. I'm bruised black and blue from all this training, but I feel like I can't stop. Physical exhaustion just feels so... nice. Liberating.

"Ready," I answer, fanning out my weapons. "Guys?" Syaoran-kun and Fai are beside Henrik; Kurogane and Raken surround me. This is a melee sport after all, and playing in teams is the best way to practice. To be fair, most of the actual fighting is done by our team, but Raken and Henrik are just enjoying the fun.

"Go," the ninja answers. We move.

Just before I lash out at Syaoran-kun, there's a thunderous bang on the door. "I don't pay you hooligans to fool around! Customers, get in here! No, not you sir, it's these blasted youngsters I can never get to behave..." Syaoran-kun and I freeze in front of each other, arms still suspended in midair, and then laugh sheepishly.

"'Blasted youngsters'..." Raken smiles. "Never heard that one before. I think I'll file it beside 'blight of my existence'..."

"You guys can stay in here, I'll be back whenever he lets me go," I excuse myself, grabbing a towel to dab at the sweat on my face. I hand one to Henrik, who's worse off than me if that's possible. "Here." He smiles.

"It's the first time I've seen you actually fight... you're not bad." I pretend to look offended.

"Not bad? Is that all you can say? Way to treat a lady..."

He shrugs. "Hey, a gentleman doesn't lie, right? At least your fighting is better than your reflection, you look horrible." I gasp and whip him with my towel.

"You're evil!" I laugh. Raken puts his arms around us and sweeps us towards the door.

"Come on, blasted youngsters, let's go save the world – one angry Gramps at a time. And then we'll unwind at a pub I know, what do you say?" Henrik and I exchange a glance – we don't have much of a choice and we know it. Still, it could be fun.

"Alright," I say, turning a moment towards the others to see if they heard. Kurogane doesn't seem interested, instead fingering his blade critically as though he's just found a defect in it. Syaoran-kun nods to me – at least he heard. Fai doesn't seem pleased at all, and I even think I see him glaring at Henrik from behind. I shrug; that's his problem.

"So, I look horrible, huh?" I ask teasingly, looking back at Henrik. The boy turns red and looks away. Raken laughs.

"Yeah, what was that Henrik? Not very nice of you - have you even seen yourself? At least all she needs is a shower; you're stuck like that forever." I slap him on the shoulder as we exit the training room.

"Be nice!" I hiss playfully. He sends me a daring look.

"Or what?" he asks.

I look to Henrik and lift an eyebrow mischievously. "Ready?" He nods.

"Attack!" We burst into the store, me clinging to Raken's back and Henrik caught in a headlock, laughing like maniacs.

"Kids!"

XxX

We step out of the pub, cradling Raken between us. "Look, you two really don't need to carry me!" he protests. "I'm not that drunk, honest!"

"Last time you said that you ran into a brick wall, remember?" Henrik groans under the weight. "Honestly, did you gain pounds or something? This used to be easier."

"Huh? That's because you're getting soft, that's all. Or because you're getting crushed under the weight of my awesomeness!"

I laugh. "Alright buddy, let's just get you home."

"I can handle him if you don't want to make the detour," Henrik offers. I shake my head.

"It's fine, I'm not in a hurry," I say. Actually I'd rather delay the moment I get to the apartment as much as I can.

"I'll walk you home then," he says. Raken looks up.

"Sheesh Henrik, why don't you just bring her home and get it over with?"

Henrik grimaces. "Can I hit him?" I'm already twisting his ear.

"Get your mind out of the gutter," I say sternly, "now, or I rip it off." He only laughs.

"See? She doesn't need an escort," he tells his brother. "If she gets attacked by a drunk like me, she'll just kick his ass."

"Exactly," I say smugly, letting him go. Henrik looks like he's about to say something, but remains silent.

"Forward, blasted youngsters!" Raken suddenly exclaims, pointing clumsily forward into the darkness. "Let's get me home before I puke!" I grimace and sigh.

"Are you sure you have enough coffee for tomorrow morning?" I ask Henrik. He shrugs.

"If we don't, maybe he'll just learn his lesson," he says, seeming completely disinterested.

I chuckle. "Can he even go out without getting drunk?"

"Usually he's fine, but sometimes he just... goes overboard. Like tonight," he grimaces. "Lose weight, you fat oaf!"

"Hey, don't insult her like that," Raken protests, flashing a goofy smile. "Girls hate getting called fat. Even if they're the size of a hippo you have to say that they're skinny. Especially if you're dealing with a fighter like this one and you value your vital organs."

"I was talking to you, you beached whale!"

I smile and listen to them fight. Henrik is usually so shy, but around his brother he can get so animated that you'd never guess. I'd also never admit it, but I feel comfortable around them. I've had the nagging sensation of being watched lately, but it fades when I'm relaxing with these two.

We arrive to Raken and Henrik's apartment, and I watch and laugh as Henrik helps his brother stumble to the couch and crash there.

"You'll be alright here for fifteen minutes?" he asks, throwing him a blanket and a large aluminum bowl.

"Yeah, yeah, just you two go and leave me here. I've been telling you, I'm fine!"

"Alright," Henrik says, turning around and coming towards me. "I'll walk you home then."

"You really don't have to..." I start to protest, but he's already down the stairs. Raken laughs.

"You know, he looks all shy but when he gets his mind set on something he's just as stubborn as I am!" he says with that goofy grin of his. "Just let him go and make him happy, will yeh? Hey, did yeh know our ceiling spins on Saturday nights?"

"Uh... sure," I answer, not too sure how to react. "Take care!"

"See you tomorrow," he hiccups.

"Aisha? Are you planning on going home or not?" Henrik's voice calls from the bottom of the stairwell.

"Coming!" I answer, closing the door behind me and running down. He's waiting for me with a small smile on his face.

"I'd feel bad, letting you walk back alone," he offers as an explanation. I walk beside him, suddenly realizing how cold it is outside.

"Wait a minute, which one of us is the trained fighter here?" I ask, pretending to be slightly insulted.

"You are," he admits, "but the people in the streets don't know that. Besides, I can take care of myself too."

"Sure, but... hey, did you just insinuate that I'm weaker because I'm a girl?"

He looks at me all innocently. "Did I?" I scowl at him.

"Fine," I say, "but I bet I'll get there before you." He smiles roguishly.

"Will you?" he asks.

"Of course," I answer, running in front of him. He laughs, pursuing me across the sidewalks until we near my street. Only then does he catch up, and seizes me from behind.

"Hey!" I yell as he tosses me sideways to take the lead.

"Who's winning now?" he calls back.

"I am!" I reply, scrambling after him. I manage to slip between him and the door just in time. "See?" I say, flashing a victorious smile. "I'm faster." We both stand there, panting and grinning like two idiots.

"That... that was cheating," he says.

"Oh yes, because throwing me to the side wasn't?" I reply.

"That was competition," he objects.

"Well, I still won," I say. The next few seconds are awkward, as neither of us is quite sure what to do. Should I invite him upstairs? I don't think that would be a good idea, especially if Fai is still stalking around. But maybe that'd be rude to just leave him at the doorsteps... or would it be rude if he walked in with me? I have no experience with things like this.

"Alright, well see you tomorrow I guess?" he says, and for the first time I realize that despite my tall size he still has to look down to me. I nod, trying to look anywhere but in his eyes.

"Yeah, see you," I say, reaching for the handle. "Goodnight!"

"Goodnight," he repeats softly as I disappear inside. I pause, and then open the door wide again.

"Be careful out there!" I call after his shadow. He turns around and waves.

"I'll be fine!" he answers, and I see a big grin spread on his face. I wait until I can't quite make him out anymore and then enter the house.

There barely seems to be a sound throughout the building. Being very careful not to make any noise, I stalk up to our door and unlock it. There's someone in the living room, just an indistinct shadow in the darkness.

"Hello?" I call softly.

"I see you're back." I close my eyes and sigh. Of course he'd wait up just for this.

"Hello, Fai-san," I say as he comes closer, into clear view.

"I couldn't sleep," he says, as though I would actually believe him. I nod regardless.

"I'm sorry," I say, at a loss.

"I'll be going now."

"Uh, okay..." I reply, watching him slithering back into the shadows like a snake. I can't imagine the point of this conversation, or the cold edge to his last sentence. Is something wrong with him?

I don't get an answer and instead look out the window. Funny; high up as I am, I can still make out Henrik's footsteps in the snow. It was really sweet of him to walk me home...

I slap a hand on my mouth when I realize that I'm smiling.

XxX

Kurogane's taking a shower and Sakura's changing in our bedroom, so the only place I have left to settle is the living room. It's probably where I'll be sleeping tonight anyways, if Sakura's behaviour is anything to go by. She seems so dark and brooding today that it seems to warrant an evening of moping alone.

Carefully I take off my bandages, letting my skin breathe with relief. I have a few new scars, just scraps from roughing around in Chess, but still enough to bleed a bit and need a dressing once in a while. It's not that the injuries are all that serious, it's just that they never stop - one heals, another one appears over it.

There's a particularly nasty cut I got today however, which runs the length of my lower arm. It's not very deep, but it still hasn't stopped bleeding. I grab a dressing and I'm busy adjusting it so that it'll stay on my arm without my having to hold it when I hear stirring behind me. I turn and it's Fai, staring oddly at me – almost like someone's just punched him in the gut. I glance at my arm, the blood still oozing out at a steady pace.

"If the smell bothers you..." I start, suddenly feeling a little guilty although I know it's his own fault for not drinking as much as he should.

"It's okay," he says softly, and all of a sudden he's beside me and holding my wrist. I pull away, surprised. He takes a step back, his fingers unravelling their grip and looking for all the world like a kicked puppy.

"I-I'm sorry," I exclaim breathlessly, thrusting my arm towards him. In the moment I hadn't realized what he wanted. "You just surprised me is all. Here." He hesitates, but the bloodlust is stronger and he sits beside me. His eye is locked on my scars, staring almost obsessively at them.

Slowly, soft as a butterfly kiss, his lips touch my skin.

I can see our reflection in the window, pale and washed out in shadow. We are cut-out dolls, two-dimensional, floating in the light-sprinkled sky of Infinity.  
His lips are gentle on my wrist; no teeth tonight, no pressing, eager tongue. Just a lazy, drawn-out lapping of my blood, like he too is tired and would rather nothing else than to sleep. I look at him, marvelling at the strange situation; like a child watching in awe a songbird come to peck from her hand. I still don't understand who the game is.  
Then my eye catches something in the darkness, like a jewel on the brow of the paper doll in front of me. A flash of light, a reflection on a piece of glass, just for a moment glints and disappears from one of the windows overseeing ours.

I don't move, and I don't think he's seen it. Methodically, without missing a drop, he licks the rest of the blood from my arm. I wait until he pulls up before moving my wrist. Slowly, without a word, I finish my bandage. He looks away, but doesn't stand up or leave.

I go to close the curtains, carefully making sure that they completely blot out the city below. When I walk beside the couch to leave the room, his hand suddenly grabs the fabric of my skirt.

"Ah... yes?" I ask, looking over my shoulder. He doesn't look at me, instead letting his half-closed eye wander in front of him.

"Tell me something..." he says groggily, visibly half-asleep. "Would you let him do that to you?" I frown, turning to face him.

"What?" I say.

"Would you let him... or am I the only one?" I don't understand what he means, but I kneel to his height, like I would to a child.

"Uh... sure, of course you're the only one," I say hesitantly, sensing this to be the correct answer. He chuckles joylessly, the shadow of a smile shaping his lips.

"Does it hurt?"

"Well... no, not really," I answer, puzzled. He nods, his eye fluttering to stay open.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, "if it does. I don't blame you. I'm sorry for everything, Fai..." I watch, mesmerized, as he settles and closes his eye. Like a child, finally satisfied and able to sleep. He looks so fragile like this, a porcelain doll.

"Now you tell me something," I whisper, leaning close to his ear. "Do you love her?"

There's no answer; he is fast asleep after all. With a tender smile, before I can make myself remember the line traced in fire and blood between us, I brush the bangs from his face and leave.

XxX

The floor in here isn't concrete, but it feels the same under my cheek. I push up with my hands, failing to lift so much as an inch from the ground with Kurogane's weight over me.

"Still didn't lose those last few pounds, I see," I crack, struggling for air. The ninja grunts.

"I see you still didn't figure out how to get out of this," he replies. I laugh – as much as one can laugh when their lungs are being compressed under them.

"Touché," I grant. "But there still isn't any target I can hit."

"Then don't hit anything."

"It would physically hurt you to give me clear pointers on this instead of just torturing me, wouldn't it?" I grimace. We've been practicing this drill for over two months now and I'm still not any closer to getting out of it. "Oh, godamnit..." I groan, flailing my limbs around aimlessly, silently thanking whoever's up there that Henrik isn't here to see this. I must really look pathetic.

"Do you give up?" he asks the killing words. I grit my teeth, and I'm just about to unwillingly admit it when...

I twist my leg a little bit more. Is that...? My eyes open wide. Yes it is!

With a grunt, I grab the ninja's hand and squeeze with all my might; his elbow bends ever-so-slightly, and suddenly my right leg pushes up with all the strength I can muster.

I fall on something hard and uneven, and look up to see the ceiling above me. My lips let out a cry of glee. I did it!

There's a rasping throat under me, and I turn to see Kurogane staring evenly at the ceiling. "Would you mind?" he asks, glancing towards me. I laugh, settling a little more comfortably.

"Maybe I don't want to," I tease. He frowns, and nonchalantly pushes me off. "Hey!"

"Do that again," he says before I can complain. I have a mischievous smile.

Soon he is lying under me again, and I'm the one standing over him and laughing. "Victory!" I yell, throwing my arms up in the air. He sits up, grinning for the first time in months, wiping a trickle of blood from his chin.

"Not bad," he admits, standing. "It took you long enough, but it's not bad." I have a proud smile.

"I got to make a ninja bleed! It's not everybody who can say that," I say. He frowns, but there's still a twinkle of amusement in his eyes.

"Don't get too cocky," he warns, putting a hand on my head. I chuckle.

"Oh come on, you know me; it's too late for that!" I say.

XxX

I guess I could say it's easier now. Fai's nicer, at least, although I don't quite understand why.

He smiles more that's for sure, although he's yet to make them seem genuine, and his snide little comments are getting less frequent. He pretends to care when we're out in public. Even Henrik noticed the other day and mentioned that he might be forgiving me about our fight. Except that it's not true – I just think he's finally settled into our little routine and figured he might as well act civil now that it's obvious we're not going anywhere.

It's like a dance, almost, like a waltz to a broken melody. From the outside we seem fine, and the others marvel at how well we function; except that I'm digging my nails a little too deep into his arms and he's pulling and tugging a little too much when we turn and neither of us miss an opportunity to step on each other's toes.

He drinks from me now.

I tug on my sleeves, trying to hide my bandages. These are fashionable here, so at least I don't always have to wear long sleeves, but I'd like to keep pretending they're just a fashion accessory. Even Henrik and Raken have no idea I actually have scars under there. If they notice I wear them even under my sleeves too – well, I'm not too sure how fresh scars at my wrists will look, but I doubt they'll be considered a good thing. I still marvel at how nobody's commented on Kurogane's similar scars yet, although that might simply be because no one's dared.

"Aisha, do you have a moment?" Syaoran-kun pokes his head in the kitchen. I turn and smile.

"Yup. Do you want some cookies? Fresh out of the oven," I offer, throwing him one. He catches it.

"Jay said he won't pay to repair the bathroom sink, but he will help us cover the costs of hardware if we need any more to fix it," he says, taking a bite. I sigh, looking up at the ceiling and grabbing a cookie.

"We already repaired it on our own and it's still leaking, did you tell him that?" I ask. "I mean, we could pay it ourselves if that's what he wants, but he told us not to change anything in the apartment without asking him first."

"Can we afford it?" Syaoran-kun asks thoughtfully, still munching. I have a dry chuckle.

"Syaoran-kun, do you have any idea how much we get for each game we win? We have more than enough to live decently, trust me." That's why most people here hate Chess players – well not hate exactly, but they treat us with a kind of fearful jealousy. If we're good enough to win, we make more money in one game than most in two week's work. We're complicit with the mafia, since we're basically pawns in their games; and we can beat up most people who would try to mock us. We're entertainers and social outcasts – watching us on television is fine, but meet us in person and we become people not to be associated with. We're dangerous. I can't help but smile. If I weren't a Chess player, I'd probably avoid us too.

"Do you want me to go ask him then?" Syaoran-kun asks. I shrug.

"Sit down and eat your cookie, it's no rush," I answer, finishing my own cookie. "So, are you excited that there's just one more game before the elimination round?"

"I… well, it doesn't change that much, does it?" he replies. "I mean, we still have to win every game."

"But now they'll have these 'special events'," I say, leaning back against the counter. "What do you think that means?" The boy shrugs, visibly just as puzzled about those as I am.

"And it's a fairly last-minute decision too," he adds. "Maybe the teams this year are so strong that they have to make the tournament more challenging."

"Huh, maybe," I say. "I can always ask the customers at Gramp's shop, maybe they'll know something." I have to give them that, Chess players do like to gossip. It's a little disconcerting to watch a seven-feet tall, tattooed brick wall with a sword talking animatedly with Clyde, like two old maids sitting on their front porch.

"I don't like the idea of those 'events'," the boy admits, crossing his arms over his chest. "It just doesn't seem-"

"There's-!" We both freeze, hearing Sakura's voice rise in surprise from further in the apartment. Follows the quick clomping of boots on the floor, and the princess bursts into the kitchen, eyes wide and cheeks flushed. Mokona is on her shoulder, looking equally as bewildered.

"There's a feather in this world," she says breathlessly. In her excitement, she even forgets to ignore Syaoran-kun and meets his eye. The boy backs away, completely taken aback.

"There's… what?" I ask, wondering for a second if I heard wrong.

"There's a feather here," the princess repeats, and the joy is obvious in her voice.

"Where?" Syaoran-kun asks, his expression determined, and for a moment this is Syaoran in front of me and we are already getting ready to go and find it.

Mokona shakes his head. "It's very faint, Mokona doesn't know where it is, but Mokona knows that it's in this world somewhere," the fur-ball says. Sakura lets herself fall on a chair.

"If there's a feather here, then that means…" she says, a dazed smile on her face. Then she seems to remember who she's talking to and cuts herself short, looking down at the floor. Syaoran-kun's face crumples painfully. If there's a feather in this world, it means Syaoran will eventually come, and then we'll find him. My heart starts pounding. What will we do if that happens? He won't hesitate to kill to get that feather – that we know, I remember as the sight of children crying and fires burning in the night comes back to my mind – and he doesn't know us anymore. But… if we get Fai's magic back…

No, don't think about it. That's too far a goal to think about now. It's right up there with Syaoran waking up and knowing us again. It won't happen.

"We'll keep watching," I promise, "and I'll try to find out as much as I can about it. That way, we'll be ready." Sakura nods, but the joy in her eyes is gone, replaced by her steely resolve.

"Thank you," she says. Syaoran-kun watches her leave with a grimace.

"I'll keep an eye out as well," he says softly, but she doesn't hear.

XxX

_I can move. I can't see anything, but I can distinctly feel my limbs reaching out around me and when I sit up, I can feel the pull of gravity. She's around here somewhere._

"_Hello," she says from behind me, and I jump and turn but find nothing but darkness. "How's your voice today?" she asks mockingly. I open my mouth, but no sound comes out. She laughs, "What a pity. Maybe we can coax something out of you, if we try. Would you like that, sweet monster of mine?" I shake my head, curling protectively into a ball as I feel her move around me._

_She chuckles, and for just a second I see it; two blood-red eyes and the gleam of teeth in the darkness. "You think I don't see it? You think I believe you still have hope?" she slurs, suddenly next to my ear. "I know the things you whisper to the darkness, when you think nobody is listening. There's so much that you don't know, so much that they forgot to tell you... Almost makes you want to join them so you can ask them why, doesn't it?" Wild cackle, slight pressure on my shoulder. I shudder. "We're just the same, you and I," she continues, her voice calmer now. "You know that's true. You understand me, unwilling as you are to admit it. And so I know everything about you too, my little sorceress. I know that you are alone – I hear you speak to the night. And I'd like so much to just let you out of your misery..." Now her fingers are closing in on my neck, and I pull back hurriedly. That's not true. It's not, any of it, it's..._

"_I... I'm not alone," I manage to croak. There's Kurogane, and Syaoran-kun. Mokona too. Maybe Sakura. Fai..._

_She stops, and once again I see two blood red eyes gleaming through the dark._

"_Not yet," she murmurs with a wolfish smile. _

XxX

"Is that all?" I ask the customer, securing his new sword in its wooden box.

"Yeah," he says, eying me curiously. "Do I know yeh from somewheres?"

"Chess?" I offer, counting his money. "I play. Just got to the elimination round. You?"

"Ah yeah, yeh're 'at girl fightin' wi'h them unbeatables." He smiles, revealing a row of yellow teeth. "Yeh punch'd meh bro'her in deh nose. Broke it."

"Did I?" I ask. I don't remember that. "Well I'm sorry about that."

"Eh, yeh know how t'is," he shrugs, "yeh take risks when yeh walk in there. 'Sides, he looks a whole lot be'er wi' a crooked nose, I pers'nally think yeh did 'im a favour." There's no other customer in here, so I lean on the counter to talk.

"Did you hear anything about those 'special events' they said they would put in?"

"Nah, not a word," he grunts. "They keep it tigh' like a rope 'round a neck, they do." I smile amiably.

"Well, good luck regardless," I say. "I don't know anything about them either, but I'm pretty sure they'll be tough."

"'ll be worth it though," he says, leaning in with a tone of confidence. "Heard they brought in 'nother piece o' deh first prize last week. Pretty fancy machinery, I heard. 'Xpensive, yeh'nderstand. Mystery 'bout wha' exactly 'tis." I'm suddenly interested. Anything mysterious could be related to Sakura's feather.

"Did they announce it, or is it new?" I ask.

"Dey been talkin' 'bout it for a while in bars an' stuff, but's only been confirm'd when they brought it in. 'Say it can do 'bout anythin'." His look turns dreamy. "I'd like meh one a' those."

"Wouldn't we all," I say thoughtfully, tapping my nails on the counter. "Wouldn't we all..."

XxX

Syaoran-kun is asleep on the armchair, snuggled up to a pillow. I smile tenderly, leaning back against Kurogane.

"He's so peaceful, isn't he?" I say. The ninja grunts. I look up to him. "You drank too much, haven't you." His discarded bottle is askew on the coffee table.

"Not too much," he says. I shake my head.

"Why do you do it?" I ask. He knows I hate it. I don't want to watch my mother all over again.

He shrugs. "Why do you always close the curtains here when it gets dark?" he replies. I don't answer. It's always from the same window, so it can't be a coincidence; someone's watching us, and I don't like it one bit. "It's because you noticed it too, isn't it," he continues, as though he really wasn't expecting an answer.

"Noticed what?" I ask innocently, hugging a knee to my chest.

"That we're being watched," he replies simply. I let out a short, dry laugh. It seems I can't do it genuinely anymore.

"They're pretty bad spies if they make it that obvious to find them," I notice. There's a silence. "Who do you think it is?"

"That man who's been watching us from the beginning?"

"Maybe." I'd thought of that too. "But he's usually more careful, isn't he? I mean, we've never been able to find him before... and I thought he was in another dimension." A grunt from Kurogane.

"True," he admits, disgruntled. I shake my head.

"You knew it wasn't him, otherwise you'd already have broken into that building and chopped whoever was there to pieces."

"True."

"So, who else?"

"Our opponents in Chess?"

"All of them? I don't see why they would spy on us so long," I say. "I've been thinking that maybe it's the mafia though." Kurogane looks down at me.

"Why do you say that?" he asks suspiciously. It's only then that I realize the extent of what I've hidden from him.

"Well..." I say, embarrassed, "they... they've already been asking questions about us at the shop. This one guy came the other day and actually told me that they knew enough to hurt us if I ever crossed them." Silence.

"And you didn't think that might be important to tell us," the ninja growls, "because you thought you could handle it yourself and there was no point in getting us worried." Silence. The anger is evident in his voice, and I find myself curling up like a ball as though to protect myself. I won't apologize.

"That's pretty much it," I admit. "It wouldn't have changed anything if I had told you though, admit that."

"Maybe, but at least we would have known. We'd have been ready for it."

I sigh. "Alright. Next time something like this happens, I'll tell you. Happy now?" He doesn't say anything, but puts his arm around my shoulders. I play with my nails, staring down. All I hear is Syaoran-kun's breathing.

"Did you ever notice that he always hangs after you, even when he keeps saying that he doesn't want to be Syaoran?" I say, looking at the boy who has managed to carve himself a place with us in three short months. My voice breaks on the last name; I haven't spoken it aloud in so long. Kurogane's fingers squeeze my shoulders warmly.

"It's not only your burden, you know," he says. "To keep all of us safe." I nod, but muffle a sob. He looks like a puppy, sleeping there; so vulnerable and innocent.

"They'll be okay, right?" I ask, my voice shrill. I promised I wouldn't break, but then again I promised myself a good deal of things that didn't happen – and I really am scared. Whoever it is watching us, they're dangerous. I won't live with myself if I allow someone to hurt us again.

"We won't let them," the ninja says as though he'd been reading my mind. I nod, leaning closer to him.

XxX

_Snow. Snow is everywhere. White and cold and burning like a wildfire._

_I can't see where I'm going. I'm just running. No time to look where I'm going. I have nowhere to get to._

_But I do have something to escape._

_Something whistles next to my ear, and I jump sideways with a yelp. _

_A wild cackle behind me. I turn, but it's too late. Pain in my stomach, river of fire. Whisper in my ear. _

_I fall._

_My mother standing barefoot in a stream, droplets of water flowing between her fingers like pearls._

"_Such a pity... pretty young girl..."_

"_They find you... they always find you..."_

_A great fire under a red moon, shadows dancing all around it like wolves after a kill._

"_All you can do is run."_

_My hands on fire, somebody pressing them forcefully in a basin of oil – my screams, echoing in my ears like chimes of madness._

"_Maybe if she hadn't been born..."_

"_There is no hope for people like us. Not in this world." _

_The snow is cold. _

_The snow will not stop. Not until I freeze. Not until I die._

_The snow isn't white._

_Laughter and screaming._

XxX

I sit up in my bed, holding my head. It's not just the nightmare. I wail. God, how could I not see this before?

There are no snowstorms in Hanshin.

_I can feel something on the other side of this wall. What is it? It's not a sound or a smell, so what is it? Fai says it's magic, but I've never met anybody with magical powers before..._

_I pick dry wood, observing each branch critically to make sure it's not too green. I throw one away, wondering how I know it's not good..._

_I bring my arms around me in a circle, propelling myself forward. Since when do I know how to swim? _

Nobody in Hanshin has magical powers. We have kudans for that. There'd be no point.

_I sing my song, a travel ode, like footsteps on a path... None of my friends know this song or have ever heard of it, even though my mother insists it's an old popular lullaby._

"_Put a world-barrier between us," she says. Is that a dimension? What does she mean by that?_

I turn towards Sakura's sleeping form. "Moko-chan?" I whisper.

"Huh?" a small, sleepy voice answers me.

"Could you come with me for a second? You can fall right back asleep. I just don't want to wake Sakura."

"Oh, okay..." I pick him up and exit the room, stalking silently through the hallway. "What do you want Mokona to do for you?"

"I'd like to talk to Yuuko," I say. "Could you do that?"

"Uh-huh." I let myself fall on the ground in the living room and place Mokona on my lap. This can't wait.

The circle of light grows in front of me, slowly revealing the image of the witch and bathing the room in a cold blue glow. She seems distracted, and looks up from whatever she was doing. This is strange; I've never seen her surprised that we're communicating with her before.

"Hello," she says, taking in my surroundings. I pet Mokona.

"You can go back to sleep now," I whisper. "Thanks."

"Okay," he answers, and I feel him settle down. I hope he's really sleeping. For some reason I don't even want Mokona to know about this conversation.

"I have something to ask you," I say, looking directly at the witch. My heart is pounding in my chest, and the words are burning in my throat as though fighting their way out. She lifts an eyebrow, her face a cold, business-like mask.

"A wish?" she asks.

"A question," I reply firmly. I won't give up anything to her if I can help it. Last time I checked, information didn't require payment.

She seems just slightly disappointed. "And it is…?"

I take a deep breath. Whichever way the answer comes, it won't be easy to hear.

"I'm not really from Hanshin, aren't I?"


	46. Where the Heart Is

**DISCLAIMER: TRC IS NOT MINE**

**Gah, late again! What is wrong with me? Well, I went on two trips abroad, school is intense (I have this new Writer's Craft class that is wonderful and awesome but takes soooo much of my time) and believe it or not, I have a social life. Voilà! But yeah, I'll try to make it sooner next time. Sorry for leaving you on a cliff-hanger like that! I'm a horrible person. O.O Sorry...**

**And yeah, not a perfect chapter but I try...**

**XxX**

The room is completely silent. Sitting in the blue light, I wait. It seems like hours before I can calm my heartbeat, regain control of my lungs. I said it. Oh God, I said it. There's no going back from here.

I can already guess the answer. Why did the snowstorm tip me off, I wonder? There should have been a thousand other hints, more potent, easier to believe. Like how I can use magic, and pick firewood, and nobody knew my lullaby. It wasn't even the snowstorm, not really: it was her laughter in the wind, where she had no right to be. All those flashes of images. Too much like memories to ignore, and yet... none of them felt like Hanshin. And that last voice...

"_Not in this world."_

Oh God. My heart starts pounding again.

Then, frowning, the witch finally speaks. I hold my breath. "That is the country you came from when you first travelled with Mokona. But perhaps this isn't what you mean." Breathe out. Don't get frustrated.

"I mean originally," I say. "I know I used to live there, but... well, at least I think I..." I frown painfully, touching my temple as her words ring in my mind. _Funny how lies like this are easy to believe, isn't it?_ No. I know them. I've known them. Their scents and the feel of their skins, their voices, their faces... Nothing can take that away. "In here, I remember..."

"Your memories are intact," Yuuko says, strangely, for once, a little reassuring. "Some are missing, but what you do remember has not been tampered with." I nod, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Oh thank God..." I burry my face in my hands and let out a nervous laugh. Etsuko, Kento, Shinju, Ren, Hisho and Hinata... at least they aren't lies.I don't think I could have handled that. At least now I have something to anchor myself to. But...

"But originally... well, the evidence is quite staggeringly against the theory that you were born in the country of Hanshin," she continues. "Starting with your magical powers... there are dimensions in which magic cannot originate, and others in which it cannot be harnessed by humans – I believe the world in which Hanshin exists to be the latter, as you can probably confirm."

"We had temples and priests," I argue, although I've always been a skeptic as to whether their magic was real or not. Spirituality was never my thing. "And kudans too, of course."

"There is a great difference between being allowed the help of magical beings and harnessing the powers of the universe yourself," the witch says, her voice impassive.

"So what you're saying is that I wasn't born in Hanshin," I say, tripping over the words.

"I can only guess," she replies lightly, "but you have to admit that it is the most probable option."

"But you don't know?" I'm surprised. I thought that she, of all people, could be able to give me answers.

She seems almost amused somehow. "I know almost nothing about your life, except for what has happened since you've joined the others," she says. "Do I have to remind you that you were never meant to be here?" I glare at her from under my eyebrows. The wild card in her deck, that's all I am to her after all.

"So you thought so all this time, and you never told me?" I ask angrily.

"It hardly seemed to be a pressing concern – besides, would you have listened?" she replies, impassive. I grit my teeth, unable to admit that she's right. She isn't my friend, or in any position to tell me difficult truths about my past – she's the Dimensions Witch. She doesn't do anything without an incentive from someone else. It's who she is. Besides, she had no reason to believe I would want her to tell me – for all she knew, I was already aware of the fact.

And of course I wouldn't have listened. Who would have, if a perfect stranger told them a large chunk of their life was a lie?

"Alright," I say. "So basically, you have no answers." She nods. I bite my lip. "Just out of curiosity, what kind of price would we be talking about if I asked you to get some?"

Her face suddenly animates. "Exactly what would you like to know?"

"I..." I brush my bangs away from my face, thinking. "Whether or not I was born in Hanshin. If not, then where. And..." _What she has to do with all of this. _But I don't say that. "Why I wasn't allowed to remember," I conclude grimly. She nods thoughtfully. My fingers tense, and I'm submerged by a sudden doubt. "You wouldn't lie to me, would you?" I ask the witch. She frowns.

"Why would I lie to you?" she replies.

"To keep me from going looking for answers," I say, leaning back against the wall. "You prefer me here, don't you? And I'm sure lying to me isn't overstepping the limit of interference."

"I have told you the truth as far as I know, and while I admit keeping the group together would benefit everyone involved, I would not have expected you to leave if my answer had been different," she replies. "Even if that were the case, it would be very impractical for you to go looking for answers yourself, seeing as you have no idea where to begin and no means of travel." I stare at her.

"So what kind of price would it take to get me one?" I ask. I'm not sure if I'm seriously considering leaving, or if I'm only saying this out of spite.

"It cost at least three people the things they cared about most in the world to pay for Mokona. I believe I do not have to tell you that you cannot pay the required price for that kind of wish."

"Alright, then what about if you get the answers yourself?"

"Do you have anything in particular to offer?" she asks.

"Well, I can pick out of my salary if that'd be okay... we don't need that money to live anyhow." I can't think of anything else that would be mine to give. "Wait... well I have clothes as well, I guess I could always round it out with that if it's not enough." I can't believe I'm actually negotiating with her.

She shakes her head. "Not enough," she says. I frown.

"What do you mean, not enough?"

"A full three-months salary might cover it, if you had it to spare – but I believe you've already spent a part of it. Your clothes won't nearly be enough to compensate. Is there anything else?"

"How much do you expect for just a bit of information?" I ask, shocked.

"The information that you want me to find is very specific, and will probably require quite a bit or research – maybe even travel. So it will cost enough to offset the value of the wish, as usual."

I bite my lip, looking away. I don't have anything else I'm willing to give her, but if it means getting answers... I distractedly touch my barrette. If I could find a way to take it off, then I would get them... but that's not going to happen.

"What if I promised that when I find a way to take this off, I give it to you?" I suggest, suddenly inspired. Her eyes narrow.

"That would exceed the value of the wish," she says. My fist closes around the hair ornament. Exactly how valuable is this thing?

"But can I use it to pay you?" I ask warily.

"I cannot accept a price higher than the value of the wish. If that is indeed the price you choose, you must ask for a more valuable wish to be granted."

I bite my lip: I don't _want_ a more valuable wish to be granted. I want this one.

"A second wish might also raise the value to something I will accept," she continues, and I breathe a little easier. I have no second wish I care to entrust in her hands, but this is at least a condition I can work with.

"Then could I use the rest as a deposit?" I ask. "I mean, not use the whole thing right now, but if I ever get another wish I could pay it with the leftover value?" There is a pause.

"That is an agreement I am ready to-"

"No wait," I interrupt, suddenly remembering something. "I want my wallet back. That's my second wish."

The witch smiles just a little. "Even with that, the value of the price exceeds that of the wishes. But I will grant those two wishes and keep the extra value of the ornament as a deposit of sorts, as soon as you may give it to me."

My face falls. "What do you mean?" I say, my voice rising dangerously. "I promised to give it to you; I can't take it off right now. Isn't that enough?"

"Unfortunately, I cannot grant a wish without receiving payment; that would violate the balance," she says. I sit there, speechless.

"But... but..." I stammer. "If you can't then... how do I know when...?" For all I know, I will never be able to take this off.

"It is all I can offer, unless you can pay for your wish another way," she replies calmly. I rake my brain, but I can't think of anything else to give. I don't own anything. Slowly, I shake my head. She nods.

"Well then, when you will be able to pay me, I shall grant your wishes," she says. "Goodnight, Aisha." I jump at the sound of my name in her mouth, disgusted. Always, always she refuses to help me when I need her help, always she asks for what I cannot give – I have never given her the right to use my name like this. I will never give her that right. She had no business taking it for herself.

And I sit there in the darkness, shaking, lips pursed in aversion, at her but also at myself for being silent, for allowing her to take my name and roll it down her tongue, sullying it with her refusal.

For knowing nothing still, even after all that.

I can still hear her laughter at the back of my head, and I know I will not sleep any more tonight.

XxX

The chain is horribly tight around my wrist. I pull a little, hoping to loosen it, but only manage to send a string of grunts down the line as the chains suddenly tighten all around. Kurogane sends me an angry look.

"I twitched," I apologize, grimacing. My legs, already spread in an awkward position to hold for more than thirty seconds, are now at a nigh-unbearable angle. In what seems the slowest enunciation possible, the announcer wraps up his team presentation.

"Enough," Kurogane grumbles. "Get started already." As though on his cue, the sides of the arena begin to rumble. Almost immediately thorn-covered branches shoot upwards, twisting like tentacles until they've enclosed the ring in a deadly cage. I look at it in disbelief.

"So that's what they meant by special event..." I mutter, trying to see where the tentacle branches came from; they seem to be somehow growing directly from the hard floor.

"It looks like it'll hurt if we get hit," Fai comments, looking up darkly.

"Yes, pointy objects tend to do that when you get hurled on them," I snap. He glowers in my direction.

"I thought I was meant to be the cranky one," he replies, pasting a fake smile on his face. I clench my teeth and stare forward. Now isn't the time for this.

"We will definitely win," I hear Syaoran-kun say, probably to Sakura. Funny; I've never seen her hesitate before. Surely she doesn't think this oversized rosebush is enough to tip the balance?

"READY..." the White Rabbit calls. Our opponents look like clones; blond, spear in hand, dressed in prim white suits with trims along the sleeves; the only touch of darkness is their identical sunglasses. It's hard to say, but they don't seem nervous. They should be.

"GO!"

White, then black; the drill is so ingrained in my muscles that I don't even let our few seconds of immobility become a disadvantage anymore. The others don't either, since we're barely a second in the game and Kurogane has already mowed down one opponent while Fai has sent another flying. I step under an extended spear, spin, and make yet a third one take the route of the sky.

Syaoran-kun jumps from behind us, diving for the fourth and final white fighter. His kick nearly hits its mark, but his opponent manages to dodge it. Suddenly, a blue ball of energy appears at the tip of the white lancer's spear. His teammates hurriedly turn their weapons towards Syaoran-kun as well, the same artificial blue light growing at their tips. No one has a chance to move before the burst of light floods the arena and I have to shield my eyes and turn away.

What was that?

When my eyes can sustain the dying glow, I have to muffle a scream of alarm. Syaoran-kun has just been propelled several feet into the air, directly onto the thorny branches surrounding the arena. He hangs there for a moment, kept up by the thorns caught in his skin, then falls flatly on the ground as his blood rains around him. Motionless.

I turn to glare at our opponents, and at least once noticeably backs away. Now it's personal.

"I thought those things were banned here!" Kurogane exclaims as we rush the opposite team. And they are; any weapon which stocks energy is strictly prohibited in the arena – as well as any flying tool. It's mostly to keep out guns, but I'm pretty sure these things count as cheating.

Now the opposite team is smiling confidently as we advance, pointing their spears towards us as though we would be stupid enough not to dodge them. Syaoran-kun still isn't moving, and I begin to fear for him as I skid to swerve around the white fighters separating us. One of them is holding his spear backwards, and before I can wonder why a bolt of light shoots from it – but it's yellow rather than blue, and streaks towards us instead of bursting through the air. It nearly reaches me, and as I dodge I think I can make out some sort of insect. It then proceeds to Fai, who jumps out of the way, and tries to hit Kurogane. The ninja promptly slices it in two with an annoyed grunt.

The strange bug isn't done with us, however; the cut halves manage to dash at us with such speed that we can't dodge them. I wince as one of them clips my cheek and then catches Fai on the neck, while the other bites Kurogane on the arm.

"Are they really trying to hurt us?" Fai exclaims, pressing a hand to his neck. There's a tingling all through my cheek and down to my fingers, and my limbs begin to grow numb. Already my legs are shaking.

"What the..."

"I'm... becoming numb?" Fai says in disbelief. I notice a slight tremor in his hands. Kurogane is bending over his sword.

"You too?" he asks between clenched teeth. Fai falls to his knees, barely managing to steady himself with his hands.

"What's going on?" I say. I try to hold my fans but one of them slips from my fingers. I'm growing so weak...

"Partly it's because of those bug-like things," Fai says, "but Sakura-chan is... hesitating..." Even his speech is becoming laboured now. My knees suddenly buckle and I fall forward. I turn to look at the princess. Why the hell is she hesitating now? Yes, Syaoran-kun is injured, but she's not helping him by preventing us to end this. Besides, since when does any of us getting injured rile her up to the point of actually hesitating? Her fists are closed, her eyes are searching the room for a sign of hope, but I can't help but feel like she's doing too much.

"She's pretending," Fai says softly enough so that only we can hear. I try to nod but find that I can barely do even that.

"Damnit!" I curse under my breath.

"Breathe," Kurogane orders as he slowly lowers himself to the ground, still supporting himself on his sword.

"But...!"

"Breathe," he repeats, closing his eyes. "When it's over... then you'll be ready." I lower my head, since it seems the easiest thing to do. My limbs feel like lead. God I hate this.

Why isn't the other team taking advantage of this to finish us off? We'd be perfect targets for their energy blasts right now, unable to move. But they just stand in front of us, looking, weapons up and smirks on their faces. The obvious answer makes me even angrier. Are they just toying with us? Do they honestly think they're so good that they can afford to do that? It's a wonder they made it this far in the competition.

"Wait!" I turn – ever so slowly – to see Syaoran-kun painfully pulling himself up. He's staring at Sakura, the blood obscuring his face giving him a haggard look. "We will win, so hang in there," he says. I smirk triumphantly. I can move my fingers now, and take a stronger hold of my fans.

The other team turns to Syaoran-kun, probably seeing him as the biggest threat at this point. The boy moves with surprising agility, given that I still find it exhausting to hold my head up. What the hell is Sakura doing?

Syaoran-kun jumps over the four men trying to surround him, landing lightly on their tangled spears. Almost immediately they begin to sizzle and glow.

"Watch out!" Kurogane yells. The boy jumps away, but the other fighters aren't foolish enough to stand around and do nothing this time; unable to get a clear shot for their energy attack, they dive at him from all sides with more conventional hits. Here the boy begins to stumble, overwhelmed. I notice that he often doesn't even turn his head towards uncoming blows.

"The blood," Fai realizes before I do. "In his eye..." I try to move, but only manage to shift the weight of my right leg from my knee to my toes.

"Godamnit! Sakura!" I yell, trying to get the princess's attention. What game is she playing? I get none of my strength back, but luckily Syaoran-kun is able to pull himself together. His eyes now closed, he evades and blocks the attacks with ease. Then he levels the other players with a swift circle kick. They don't stand up again.

"Checkmate! BLACK WINS!"

"That's what I taught the kid, in Outo country," Kurogane breathes out in bewilderment.

"Are you really surprised?" I counter, marvelling at the rush of feeling in my limbs now that the game is over. "He did see everything Sya... well, you know. With his right eye. He was bound to pick some of it up." Fai gives me a solemn look, as though I were completely forgetting something, but I pay no mind to it. I can stand up now. I will never take the use of my legs for granted again.

Out in the middle of the arena, Syaoran-kun is looking sadly at Sakura, who still pointedly refuses to meet his eye despite owing him her victory. I sigh; if I can't get a hold of my temper before then, she will hear from me when we get to the apartment.

"Syaoran-kun! Are you alright?" I call, running to him. He reluctantly turns to me and smiles forlornly.

"Yes, I'm fine," he says.

"Alright, I have two things to say: first, that was awesome, and second, let's get you home and patch you up. You're staining the floor," I say, trying for a joke. It falls flat of course, even though he tries to smile to make me feel better.

XxX

The walk to the apartment was spent in utter silence. As soon as we entered Sakura locked herself in our room with Fai, not even bothering to pretend she had another reason than to avoid our inquiries. With a defeated sigh, I settle on the couch with the first aid kit.

"Here, now," I order tiredly, gesturing for Syaoran-kun to take off his shirt and sit beside me. "Now you're sure there's nothing on your legs?"

"What happened? What happened?" shrieks Mokona.

"Nothing I can't take care of myself," he says, taking a roll of bandage. "It's nothing, I just got badly bet up tonight."

"Drop it," I say. "I don't want you moving at all when I disinfect your wounds, alright? Now stay still." I dab at the cut above his eyebrow with some rubbing alcohol. Mokona jumps on my shoulder, overseeing the procedure. "Does it hurt too much?"

"No, it's fine," he says. I apply a bandage and move on to the cuts on his shoulders. He hisses a little, but doesn't quite pull back.

"Sorry."

"No, no, it's nothing..." I look at him, raising an eyebrow. He shrugs. "I just shouldn't have gotten hurt."

"Yes, because that was all your fault," I reply sarcastically. "If anything I should apologize for letting you fend for yourself back there."

"Oh no, that wasn't... that wasn't your fault either," he finishes softly, his eyes wandering towards the door to Sakura's room. An awkward silence installs itself between us as I continue to clean his wounds. It's only when I begin to wrap a bandage around his torso that we speak again.

"Have you seen Kuro-sama?" I ask curiously, realizing I haven't seen the ninja in quite some time. Syaoran-kun shakes his head.

"I think I saw him leave the apartment a little while ago, but I don't remember if he said where he was going..."

"Mokona knows, Mokona does!" the fur-ball exclaims, flailing his little arms in the air. "Mokona heard him mumble something about running out of sake!"

"Huh," I say, frowning. I don't see how I could have missed that. "Here, hold that part up so I can tie it." Syaoran-kun obediently does as I ask, for just a moment looking at my bandaged arms.

"You must be tired of doing this all the time," he says softly. I grunt.

"A little bit, but it's not so bad," I answer. "Now Moko-chan, I have an important mission for you: bring this kit back to the bathroom, kay?"

"Yup!" Mokona answers, hurriedly taking the first aid kit and bouncing along.

"And where did… there it is," I say, finding Syaoran-kun's coat and placing it on his shoulders. "So you don't get cold."

"Uh-huh," he says, pulling it a little tighter. "Thanks." His eyes sadly wander again to the door to Sakura's room.

Just at that moment, Kurogane walks back in with a bottle in a paper bag. "Hey," he says.

"Hi," I reply. "You know, next time you could tell us that you're leaving so we wouldn't have to rely on Mokona for information."

"But Mokona is a very good source of information!" the fur-ball protests, bouncing back in. He calms down as soon as he reaches Syaoran-kun, and settles on his lap as though trying to reassure him. I can't help but smile tenderly at the picture.

Kurogane disappears into the kitchen, only to reappear a few seconds later holding not only the now opened bottle of sake, but two drinking glasses; one empty, one full. To my surprise he walks straight to Syaoran-kun and thrusts the full glass in his direction.

"Kurogane?" Mokona says, visibly as confused as I am, and finally getting Syaoran-kun's attention. The boy looks up to the ninja with a surprised expression.

"Can you drink alcohol?" he asks gruffly. Syaoran-kun grimaces, shrugging.

"Well if my other self could, then..."

"I'm asking if you can drink it," the ninja interjects stoically. The boy pauses for a moment, then looks down.

"No idea…" he admits dejectedly, taking the glass. I glare at Kurogane, but don't say anything; underage drinking yes, but I can understand what he's trying to do. The ninja pays no mind to me and flops on the sofa, opening the bottle.

Mokona smiles. "Mokona wants to know how Syaoran is when he's drunk too! I hope he's a fun drunk!" he exclaims. "Let's drink!" The fur-ball tackles Kurogane's bottle, holding onto it for dear life as the ninja shakes it to try and unlodge him.

"Are you trying to drink up the whole bottle?"

"Why yes! That's exactly what I plan to do!" More shaking of the bottle.

"Give that back!"

"Nooooo!"

"Oh goodness please, let the man have his sake," I sigh, hovering between amusement and discouragement. Even Syaoran-kun has to laugh at their antics.

"Thank you," he says, and I know that he's understood the purpose of this set-up too. Alcohol is an escape, no matter how much I despise it. I can respect the ninja's attempts if I can't approve of them.

"Bu' 'ou al'ea'y ha'e a g'ass! Mokona exclaims to one of Kurogane's admonitions, now holding the bottle in his mouth as the latter tries desperately to make him let go. I can't help it; the sight of the fur-ball, trying to speak and hold a bottle about twice his size in his mouth at the same time proves too much. I laugh.

Oh goodness this feels good. Good and wrong and liberating, light on the shoulders and heavy with consequence; I don't care. Oh God, I never want it to stop.

But laughing, like everything, has to end one day. After all, there just isn't enough air in your lungs to go on forever.

XxX

I'm not drunk, but I must look it; I've taken off my boots, swung my legs over the seat's back and am now staring, upside-down, at Syaoran-kun slung over the sofa and sleeping, a glass still in his hand. Kurogane nonchalantly takes another gulp. I sigh.

"Rough day, huh?" I say. The ninja eyes me suspiciously.

"You're angry about something, aren't you," he replies, not as a question but a statement. I nod my head, feeling the strange rush of blood to my brain.

"She could have gotten us all killed out there, and ended up with the IQ of a turnip," I reply harshly, spinning my body so that I'm now draped on the chair's armrests. "And for what? So she could pretend to care? Does she think we're stupid, that we'd fall for it? I'm sick of her trying to manipulate us. I mean, he could have died!" I growl, gesturing for Syaoran-kun.

"Calm down," Kurogane replies, glancing meaningfully at the door to Sakura's room. "Nobody died. It's over."

"That's easy for you to say," I mutter bitterly. My good mood has fallen like a deflated balloon. "You're drunk."

"Oh, oh! Syaoran sure is fun when's he drunk, isn't he?" Mokona exclaims, also in the vapours of alcohol. "But he sure must have a lot of things on his mind, because he fell asleep so quickly."

"Just like the princess... and that mage," the ninja grunts. "And you," he adds, looking at me. I grimace.

"You're no better."

"Well there's been a lot of painful things," Mokona says, more seriously. "Syaoran disappeared..." I press my lips together and force myself to stay silent.

"It's not just that," Kurogane interrupts, holding up his glass to the light. "They're hiding something."

"Who?" the fur-ball asks.

"Both of them," he grunts. "Especially the princess. Haven't you noticed anything?"

"When I'm awake, I don't think so," Mokona says, "but Mokona can't sense things when Mokona's asleep. When Yuuko was talking to Fai she told Mokona to go to sleep and they could continue to talk even though Mokona was sleeping. So if Sakura talked to Yuuko when Mokona was sleeping, Mokona wouldn't know." I've been holding my breath this whole time, hoping the fur-ball won't mention my little conversation the other night; I don't want to explain it to anyone, let alone Kurogane. But he stays mercifully silent on the subject.

Syaoran-kun groans in his sleep. "Even so..." he mutters, his eyes opening ever so slightly, "I'll protect her... Definitely."

"Sleep," the ninja orders, placing a hand over the boy's eyes. "You sleep too," he adds, taking the bottle away from Mokona. The fur-ball looks up.

"And you?" he asks. Kurogane holds up the sake bottle and grins.

"There's still some left."

Mokona smiles. "As long as Kurogane is awake, everyone can sleep without worries." Kurogane affectionately squishes him, then lets him snuggle up close to Syaoran-kun. When it's obvious that the fur-ball is in a deep sleep however, the ninja's expression turns serious again.

"Those two… six of one and half a dozen..." he mutters, drinking another glass. I bury my face in my arms, angry and tired. Spiteful like a child. "You should get some sleep too," I hear Kurogane say. "It's not like you drink anyway."

"You stole my couch," I reply, an ironic little smile on my face. He grunts.

"Then go sleep in his room. It's his own fault, if he starts complaining about it."

"No, I'll be fine," I say, stretching my arms in front of me like a cat. "Get back to your bottle." There's a long silence. I rub my cheeks, trying to make sense of my feelings. I just have to take it out on other people, don't I?

"How does it feel," I ask tentatively, risking a glance towards the ninja, "when you drink?"

He doesn't seem to quite understand. "Like… drinking anything else, I suppose," he answers, shaking his glass. I watch the liquid slosh lazily and smile.

"I was expecting something a little... you know. More interesting." I don't believe so many people do it if it just feels like everything else. "It it true that it makes you forget?" He grunts.

"Not so much forget as make things seem... further away, for a little while. Unimportant. Is that what you meant?" he answers. I look away.

"I don't think that's a universal rule," I say, thinking about Mom. Drinking never seemed to make anything unimportant to her. If anything, it made her care too much about all the wrong things; like the past things, the little things I didn't even remember, like my dad and the twins' dad and all the other reasons why she drank. That's a bitter irony if I've ever seen one.

Sometimes I think about taking a glass with Kurogane, just to see what it would be like. To try and understand why my mother would keep going back to it, after everything. To see if maybe I really am my mother's daughter.

"You know, what I said about those two applies to you too," the ninja says suddenly. I look up to him.

"Huh?"

"You're hiding something. I'll be damned if I know what it is, but you've been looking awful these past few days."

"I… ah… listen, it's not what you..."

"I'm not going to ask you what it is," he interrupts me, "but I'm going to trust that you'll keep your promise about telling us if you know anything that we should know. Got it?" I nod, barely able to keep the shuddering of my lip under control. I want to tell someone, I really want to, but he couldn't understand. Besides, he has his own worries to take care of, and he won't share them with me. No, I have no right – but God I want to cry.

"Could you pass me some sake?" I ask to my own surprise, reaching a hand towards him. He seems completely taken aback.

"We don't have an extra glass," he says slowly, weighing his words as though debating whether to stop me or let me do as I please.

"Just chuck me the bottle then," I say, which he does after a moment's hesitation. I look at the liquid inside, shaking, debating.

To drink. To drown in something other than sorrow and confusion, wake up tomorrow morning with a hangover, curl in on myself and wish I would die because it's better than what I feel now.

To let go of everything, and to accept that I am just like my mother.

To show my weakness, to whomever would care enough to notice.

I press my lips to the cool glass. Freeze.

Or to be just like Fai and smile over my tears.

I tear the bottle away. Am I really trapped between these two options?

Fai or my mother. Is there no middle ground?

The bottle makes a dull thud as I drop it on the floor, nearly spilling its content. I press my lips together, staring fiercely to the wall in front of me. "Never mind," I say, curling protectively into a ball. "I'll just sleep here. Thanks anyway." I'm disgusted with myself.

I close my eyes and wait for Kurogane to say something. There is only silence, and I finally let myself fall in the black night behind my eyes. I have nothing left to do but wait for sleep and sweet, sweet oblivion to take me.

XxX

_There is fire everywhere. I can barely breathe, every muscle in my body screams to flee, but I force myself to stay sitting where I am. I know I could tame it with just a thought, but I can't allow myself to do that. If they see me run out or worst, if the fire dies and I appear unscathed, then they'll take both of them away. I can't let them die._

_A white butterfly flutters in the night sky, like a droplet of light in the darkness. _

_I run, looking for the edge of this great pit of flames. I can make out their shadows all around me, dancing wildly like animals - like wolves waiting for their prey to die of its injuries. I think I finally see an opening and jump, but strong arms catch me and throw me back in. Back into the inferno and the unbearable heat searing my flesh and burning my lungs. I reach up to the crimson moon as though it could save me, but it only looks mocking before my suffering._

_White butterfly on crimson moon. The water bends in ripples as the delicate insect lands on a fallen leaf. _

_Oh, my darlings... I look up, letting go of the last breath I know to possess, smiling sadly. The little one can't be expected to defend herself, and Kazue may be strong, but she won't survive it. It pains me to leave them like this, but I have no choice. I've been careless, and now I must pay the price. If I am to protect them now, they can't know. If I am to protect them, then I must die._

_There is screaming; high-pitched and frantic. Like the water, the air ripples and moves the butterfly's wings. _

_It's a crimson moon tonight, I think, closing my eyes._

_The butterfly is gone._

_I fall to the ground, gasping for breath. Time and time again I've tried to leap out of the fire, but there are always hands to greet me, people to push me back inside. I cough, somehow hoping this will push some nonexistent oxygen into my lungs. I think I used to be crying, but it is so hot now that even I can't tell. My fingers sporadically dig into the burning ashes around me as I feel the cool grip of death on my throat. I close my eyes. Somehow I find the air for one last cry as my body explodes into shards of diamond._

XxX

The smell of coffee wafts through the apartment, and it's soothing somehow. I sit on the kitchen counter, knees up to my chin and feet resting against the sink. I'm not usually a big coffee drinker, but the mug in my hands is comforting to the touch even if I don't drink from it.

All I can think about is home, and by that I mean Hanshin: Hisho and Hinata, Mom, Ren, Kaede, Etsuko, Shinju, Kento – what are my feelings for him anyways? I used to think I loved him, but I've been so caught up in my journey that I just... forgot to think about it; just let the feelings lay on a slab of ice to freeze from lack of attention. And I find that my memories are sweeter when I remember Kento the friend, the almost-brother who lived next door and threw things at Etsuko and I when we woke him up early, rather than the Kento I was in love with. I can't even remember why I was in love with him, why I wanted more than just the carefree understanding we had, the easy friendship.

I groan, burying my head in my lap. Mighty good thinking about those things when they don't matter anymore. No matter what I feel about him, it's never going to amount to anything.

I forgot, really, and that's the problem. Forgot to think about them for so long, to worry about them, to think about how they were faring without me. I forgot to remember them, and now I learn that my memories are... what? A lie? Not quite, but… something's definitely missing. A huge gaping hole that must be filled has opened in my chest; a part of me that I didn't even realize existed before now, or if I did, I didn't care. I'm still not sure that the witch didn't just lie to me to keep me in check, and I can't help thinking that maybe she did. That maybe Kento, and my feelings for him, are all just an illusion. That I never flew above the concrete buildings of Hanshin with Etsuko, or laughed as Ren and Shinju fought over the last cookie. That I never kissed Hisho's forehead before laying him to sleep.

But even if she's told me the truth and my memories are real, I still forgot – and that is unforgivable.

So I try to remember now, as hard as I can. But I can't remember as well as I used to; it's like I'm staring into one of those fun-house mirrors, and all that I see is distorted – too close, too distant, not quite big or small enough for me to recognize them as real. I can't even recall my brother and sister's features clearly anymore. If I focus and Hinata's eyes become lucid, then her lips are drowned in fog; then I think of her mouth and something else disappears: her eyebrows, her left ear, the curve of her cheek. No matter how hard I try I can't see them as though they were standing in front of me anymore, and it scares me.

"Aisha?"

"I'm fine," I say automatically, flashing a smile at Syaoran-kun. He looks at me as though I were sick, and I remember when Syaoran would watch over me in Piffle, when I was bedridden. They both have the same expression of worry on their face.

"Are you sure?" he says. His eyes dart to the clock. "It's four in the morning. How long have you been awake?"

"It's four already?" I ask, peering without really looking at the turning hands of the clock. I honestly have no idea what time it was when I woke up. "Oh, just about ten minutes, I think," I lie, grinning sheepishly. He looks at me doubtfully.

"You should sleep more, Aisha," he tells me, sitting down at the kitchen table.

"I'm just not that tired," I shrug. I've barely been sleeping at all, actually, and I'm exhausted. Somewhere between Hanshin and the nightmares, I've figured out that wakefulness is the easiest path to keeping my sanity intact. It must be starting to show however, because yesterday even Sakura told me I looked tired. _Sakura told me I looked tired_ – I'm sorry, but just the fact that she's bothered to notice anything that hasn't to do with her precious tournament is worth repeating twice.

"The semi-finals are tomorrow," the boy says calmly, expecting my reaction. I jump, then look at him in disbelief.

"Already?" I ask, then shake my head. This is something I should know; I've just betrayed myself this way. Goodness, can I not think straight?

How could I forget that the semi-finals are so close? I've only been training half-heartedly recently, and if we are to win that's not enough. We have to win, I remember: because if we don't then the last three months will have been for nothing. Sakura won't have her wish, and I will have let go of the only chance, though paper-thin, that she will use it for the purpose she has told us. Anthony has been waiting long enough. And how is he faring? I haven't thought about him in days.

Even excepting Anthony, didn't I promise to help Sakura no matter what? She's poured so much of herself into this, I can't let her goal crash around her just because I'm being selfish and barely training.

Syaoran-kun groans and holds his head suddenly. I remember how much he drank last night, how he isn't used to it and probably came to the kitchen looking for something... why did I not think of this before?

It seems I really can't think straight, even when I try.

Why is it so hard to just pick one? One world to live in, one place to wrap my mind around? It shouldn't be this difficult. After all, shouldn't I just choose the one I want to choose? It should be that simple. The thing is that I'm honestly not sure what I want.

All I know is that the semi-finals are tomorrow, I can't allow us to lose, and there is that strange boy sitting in front of me now requesting my attention. This boy that is Syaoran and yet not him, who sees my pain and pretends to ignore his own.

I jump swiftly from my perch and hand him my mug. "I haven't drank from it yet, if you want it," I offer. He lifts his head and peers at me.

"Are you sure?" he asks.

"Well I'm sure I didn't drink from it if that's what you're asking, and if you're not then yes, I'm sure you can have it," I smile. "There's more in the pot that I can get for myself; besides, I like it more for the smell than the taste." He seems hesitant. "It'll help," I urge him. Finally, he takes it in his hands and sips the warm liquid. He quivers a bit at the contact, then licks his lips and chuckles.

"You know, I've seen everything that my other self has done, but it hasn't done anything to prepare me for all the new sensations," he says. "Last night was... interesting."

I sit down at the table. "It's not the kind of 'interesting' you have to try again, you know," I remind him half-seriously. He gives me a sharp look.

"You never seem to berate Kurogane-san for drinking," he notices.

"I gave up," I snort, crossing my arms in front of me. "He likes it, and if I try to stop him he just hides the bottles anyway, so I'd rather he be happy."

There's a short silence in which Syaoran-kun slowly runs his finger along the rim of his mug. "I'd like her to be happy as well," he whispers. I don't know what to say, so I just reach over to him and touch his arm.

"I, hum..." I stammer, "maybe... listen, she doesn't hate you or anything like that, believe me. You just look so much like Sya... like Syaoran, that I think she's not sure how to treat you as a different person, that's all." Then I try to smile reassuringly. "Besides, sometimes when you care about someone, it's best to let them breathe a little." He shrugs, still staring down at his mug.

"I know," he finally says. "It just... hurts a little when you realize they'd be happier without you."

I find that I can't say anything to that. Nothing seems appropriate: not a lie, because he would see right through it; not the truth, because it would only hurt him further.

So instead I put a hand on his shoulder, squeeze it tight. I've made up my mind.

He looks up. He keeps staring, that strange boy who has woken me from my voluntary stasis. I inhale sharply.

"I'm here," I breathe out, returning his gaze. Whether or not it'll be enough.

XxX

There's the clang of metal claws hitting the ground behind me as I dive down and turn. My knee comes up and hits my opponent's jaw before twisting and hooking his outstretched arm, pinning it under my weight as I crouch down again. His face is protected by a metal helmet, so I crush his windpipe with my lower arm instead of punching him. I leave him to flail on the ground, breathless and panting, as I face the rest of the battle. These are the semi-finals. If we win, within the week we will know if all our training and work has been for naught. Whatever comes after that, we don't know.

Kurogane suddenly grabs my wrist and pulls down. I recognize the move we've practiced in training, and before my mind can quite comprehend what's happening my body has already leapt, rolling on the ninja's back and landing a devastating kick to the man reaching for him on the other side. I stumble for a second however, just long enough to let him regain his balance and leave a claw imprint on Kurogane's back. It doesn't seem deep, and the ninja doesn't even look like he's registered the injury, but I still throw the man to the floor for his trouble.

"The only reason you've made it this far is pure luck!" the man fighting Kurogane yells, slashing forward. I can't see his face because of his helmet, but his eyes have a crazed gleam in them.

"But it looks like it's running out!" my first opponent adds, having now regained his footing.

"Luck, huh?" Fai chuckles, jumping past me to avoid a blow directed at him. Kurogane scowls.

"Shut up," I hear him mutter. I hurry out of his way and notice Fai doing the same, leaving our opponents puzzled.

"What?" one of them exclaims. Kurogane's blow is swift; he slashes them at the knees with the dull side of his sword, managing to send them crashing to the ground without drawing blood. None of them is moving afterwards.

"I said to shut up!" the ninja repeats louder this time, resting his blade on his shoulder. He knows this fight is over.

"Well, they can't hear anymore," Fai notices, an enigmatic smile on his face. He's been different these past few days, ever since that game where Sakura hesitated. He's constantly glancing over his shoulder; he jumps when he hears someone's voice rise; his eye seems wary and tired, and the black circles are beginning to grow back even though he drinks his full now. And then there's that little smile he sports almost constantly: it's not even just the tired imitation of a smile to keep up appearances anymore, no; it's a desperate, bitter smile, of the kind I'd imagine a man would wear when he sees his doom approaching and realizes he has nothing more to do than watch and laugh at how unfair the world is. Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but his sudden change is awfully strange.

"CHECK MATE! BLACK WINS!"

Syaoran-kun comes to join us, having expedited his opponent. It's official now: we are going to the finals in two days. And after that, who knows? I'm not sure I want to know what Sakura has been planning this whole time. I've grown accustomed to the status-quo of ignorance and only half-disguised lies, and I'm scared of facing something completely new again. Funny; the idea of changing worlds has never bothered me so much before. I guess it's because we always had a clear goal in mind, and now we're following the whims of a girl who would risk our lives to convince us she cares about us. Whatever the reason is, even though we've won there is no room for celebration in our little gathering.

The white King marches down the arena, visibly fuming. He starts pulling his players to their feet, cursing at them in a strange dialect I can't quite understand and sending a few pointed glares in our direction. I can't really blame him – if we had lost so close to the finals, I'd be furious too.

The arena is finally latched onto the staircases leading downwards, and the defeated team stumbles away slowly. We begin to follow them in silence, unsure of what to say now. We've been working so long for this, but now that it's happening we all seem wary of the future.

To what seems like everyone's surprise, a tall man I've never seen before cuts us off to the stairs. He appears uncomfortable in our company, as though he'd rather be anywhere else. I'm so used to this reaction when people learn we're Chess players that I don't feel insulted.

The mysterious man looks directly at Sakura. "I carry an invitation to dinner," he says in a deep voice, once again conveying a slight sense of unease. Sakura cocks her head to the side, seeming guenuinely curious.

"Dinner?" she repeats. He nods.

"It's an invitation from the sponsor of the Chess game, the head of the Vision family," he explains, then looks at each of us in turn. "But it's for the Master alone." I tense, closing my fingers around my fans. What do they want with Sakura?

I must be glaring, because the man sends me a surprised glance, as though he wasn't expecting such a strong reaction.

"I'll go," the princess answers with barely a moment's hesitation. I have a movement of protest, but stop myself; she knows what she's getting into. There's no point in reasoning with her. She'll do as she's decided.

The man seems genuinely astonished to be getting such a swift reply. "Alone?" he repeats the last clause as though he were trying to give her a chance to refuse. I suppose it's not every day someone casually accepts an invitation to dinner with the head of the mafia.

She nods. "Yes. I'll see you later," she tells us as the man silently leads her away. Fai smiles.

"We'll be waiting," he says. I can only repeat to myself that she knows what she's doing and resolve to ask Clyde about this as soon as possible. Maybe this is customary for the Masters of the teams who make it to the finals – and maybe I should start to worry.

Just before Sakura walks down the first stone step, Syaoran-kun pitches forward with a hurried gasp and grabs her elbow as though to stop her. They both start, and the princess must be too surprised to avoid meeting his eye when she turns. Even Syaoran-kun seems both startled and horrified as he stands there gaping, unable to make a sound as he stares at her. Finally, with a pained look, Sakura brushes his hand off and turns away.

"Please, go ahead and rest," she says, then hurries away. There is not a word until she reaches the bottom of the stairs.

"If you don't want her to go, just say so," Kurogane grumbles. Syaoran-kun turns, frowning. The ninja grunts, annoyed. "It's bothersome to deal with guys who never say anything. No one will ever understand them that way."

"It's not like she would have listened," I intervene, feeling obliged to defend Syaoran-kun. After all, I would have told her to stay too.

Kurogane barely glances my way. "If others decide on their own, then you should do as you want as well. Don't think it's so noble to just keep silent and think that no one can understand." He's speaking to Syaoran-kun, but his words still sting. I look down and fiddle distractedly with my choker, pulling on it just a little too much, wondering if he's right.

And if Fai thinks nobody noticed the look of shock on his face, he is gravely mistaken.

There are no more words as we finally leave the platform. I stop on the top step and look back, to where Fai is still standing and staring at the floor. His body is slightly bent over and his left hand hovers near his stomach as though he were about to be sick.

"Fai-san," I call him, softly. "Are you coming?" He snaps to attention, his eyes searching frantically around him like he's just woken from a dream. When they fall on me, his expression slowly melts back into that tired little smile.

"I'm coming, Kazumi-san," he says, but waits until I've reached the bottom of the stairs to start moving.

XxX

It's been a while since I've seen Kurogane's bare back, and it's still hard not to avert my eyes. The scars are healed now, but some still stand out in vague bumps and silver patterns that will most likely never leave. I can't help but touch one, just to see. He doesn't jolt in pain, just glances back to see what I am doing so far from his wounds.

"I just... I wanted to see if it was healed," I stammer, pulling my hand away. "After all, it's... it's my fault you have them," I continue darkly, casting my eyes down. "And the one you got tonight too, that was because I wasn't fast enough."

"Stop being ridiculous," he grunts. "There was a fire, it wasn't your fault. As for tonight, we all get hurt sometimes; there's no point in laying blame for every injury." I clean away the caked blood from his wound. As I thought it isn't very deep, although it could have been worst.

"Are you nervous for the finals?" I ask distractedly.

"There's no reason to be nervous; we'll just fight like we always do," he replies. I chuckle sadly.

"Yes, because all our fights end so well..." I whisper, touching the burns and feeling the heat of the fire on my skin as though I were back in that inferno. It's just not fair that he has all those scars and I have none.

"You have your arms, I have my back," he says, as though he were reading my mind. "So stop thinking about it."

"It's still not fair," I say.

"I'll hit you," he says calmly, glancing back.

"Good," I reply. "I'll take it." He lifts an eyebrow.

"Alright, what is it?"

"Nothing," I say glumly, and start to place the dressing on his wound. I should just tell him, but I can't bring myself to it.

It's not that I think he might understand my situation, but it's even more unfair to worry him without giving him a reason why. Because I guess I am worrying him - more than I would if he would know what's going on, anyways.

"Um... listen. I-I know you've been... I've been acting weird lately. And I'm sorry if I've been taking it out on you, but it's nothing you have to worry about, okay?"

"Does it have something to do with the nightmares?" he asks. I sigh.

"Yeah. They've been... getting worse. I can barely sleep, and..." my voice cracks. I don't think I can tell him. Not all of it, anyways. "Kuro-sama, I... don't think I was born in Hanshin anymore. I've been getting these weird dreams, and I even talked to the witch and she said it was very probable that I was from somewhere else..." _And that woman wants to kill me. _But for some reason I can't bring myself to say it. He'll think I'm crazy. That I'm imagining things, or making it up, or sick with a fever. Or worse, he'll believe me and it'll only make him worry. No, he doesn't need to know that, I decide. If she starts getting closer again – and I doubt she'll manage it without my knowledge – then I'll just leave. I'll say that I'm out looking for answers about my past; I'll pay any price to the witch...

No, I don't want to drag any of them down with me. If they know, they'll never let me leave.

He is silent for what seems like forever.

"Is she getting answers for you?" he finally asks. I shake my head, then remember he can't see me.

"No," I say. "Because I can't pay her the full price right away." I let my frustration seep through my voice, and it feels so good to finally admit it.

"Anything I can do to help?"

"No, thank you." I won't ask any more from him. I've hurt him enough with my moping around. Gently, I tug on the bandage. "There, all done." Then, slowly, not even sure if I have the right, I rest my forehead on his back. He doesn't move away.

His body is warm and he smells like musk and blood. I've gotten so used to the smell now that it doesn't bother me at all; I even find it a little comforting. Because blood means that we are still fighting, keeping Fai alive, helping Sakura. We bleed because we are still living.

Except that I wish the others didn't have to bleed so much: I know I can take it, but Syaoran is still so vulnerable, and Kurogane keeps getting hurt because of me. And Fai... I sigh. He heals almost instantly, but his clothes are always ripped and stained in blood.

Goddamnit, I wish I could just control this damn magic and heal everybody.

I see myself in a dark room, surrounded by people. But nobody matters, except the shape laying on the bed, breathing with difficulty, slick and sticky with blood. If only I had been able then, things would have been so different.

My arms snake around his waist, and I squeeze. "I'm sorry," I moan. For everything.

Because, I've just realized, I am leaving. Not now, maybe not even soon. But eventually, I will lie to all of them and leave without an explanation. It will happen soon, most likely; I doubt she will take much longer now to figure out my location again.

Then again, couldn't I just be truthful? Tell them, or maybe just tell Kurogane, that I'll be leaving to protect them? Surely they'll understand that staying and fighting isn't an option and that I have to leave them. They won't try to stop me, and I won't have to hurt them as badly. They'll understand.

That their lives are not something I am willing to gamble.

"Kuro-sama..." I begin, voice quivering. His upper arm brushes against mine.

"Hm?" he says. It's that little touch of skin, just a tiny gesture of comfort, that decides it: I can't let him worry.

I sigh. "I'm just like Fai-san," I mutter, burrowing my forehead deeper into his back.

"You're getting better," he replies, because he thinks I'm talking about hiding the nightmares and my discovery about my past. I close my eyes and try to ignore the burning tears welling behind them. I will never apologize enough for this.

_No, _I want to say. _I'm just getting started._

XxX

"_It begins with secrets," the voice says, in a sing-song, "and it ends with whispers in the dark as you contemplate what is left of your mind. It starts with a word dropped, and the ripples in the water grow until that one word has wrecked destruction in its path. It begins with a fire, blazing high into the night. It begins with water, swallowing the damned souls of the drowned. It begins with wind, carrying lies and broken promises in its wake. But mostly," she chuckles and comes in closer, "it begins with secrets."_

_I bring my arms tighter around me, as though they offered protection from whatever she will do. I wasn't able to tell Kurogane about her, and she knows. It makes her happy._

_I don't know if she scares me more when she's happy or angry. At least her anger is predictable: threats and fingers around my throat, then darkness and waking. I never know what she will do when she's happy. I just know it's always painful. And it always lasts much, much longer._

"_What's wrong? You don't even try to speak tonight," she says, and now her fingers are under my chin, propping my head up. I jump away, yelping. She laughs, deeply, like the wind in the night. "Are you afraid of me, my little sorceress? Could that be possible? I'm not scary, am I?" I hear her voice slithering closer, but never quite reaching me. And then there's a hand around my wrist and my arms is bending back at such an unnatural angle, and there's a crack-_

_I don't scream. I am passed the point of screaming. There's mist everywhere now, cloaking the place, and her nowhere to be seen nor heard. My arm dangles uselessly at my side. And there's shapes in the mist, but none of them are hers. _

_When the mist clears, I realize why I'd been holding my breath. Sakura is laying on the ground, her arms thrown over her head as though she fell running; Syaoran is strewn over a thorn bush, or rather trapped in it, completely immobile; Fai's left arm is laying, twisted and darkened, ten paces from his body; Syaoran-kun is caught up in the same thorns as Syaoran, but hung as though crudely crucified and Hien protruding from his stomach; Kurogane's hand is still tight around his sword, but his leg is torn into shreads, his skin is badly burnt and he's not breathing; I can't see sweet, little Mokona, but there are clumps of white fur and red blood all over the place._

_That's when I scream. When I realize that the floor is checkered in black and white underneath all the red. This is a Chess game, and I'm the last to survive. _

_I'm the last to play._

_For a moment I forget that this is a dream, and I fall to my knees. How did this happen? How could I not stop this? Why didn't I leave them? I reach my valid arm towards Sakura, the closest to me, and pull it back coated in blood. I'm sobbing, and I can't stop. This is a thousand times worst than the snow._

"_Hush, hush," she whispers, gently brushing my hair back. "It's alright – they're dead now. Dead because of you. Hush." I don't dare lash out behind me in anger. Despite what she did, I'm still too terrified of her._

"_W-why?" I manage between my sobs. _

"_Oh, sweet abomination, who can really say why?" She's enjoying this. "It's all a part of life, isn't it?" Her nails are digging into my skin like knives. I start to remember where I am; I close my eyes and repeat to myself, over and over, that it's only a dream. _

_It's just a dream. It's just a..._

"_Poor thing," she whispers. "You really think they'll be spared if you distance yourself from them? You cry so much louder when I hurt them... it would be a pity to miss that. And to think I'm not even done yet..."She twists my useless arm behind my back and wraps her fingers around my throat. "There's still a whole score of people I can hurt. Care to see?"I keep my eyes shut, hoping maybe she'll stop or maybe I'll wake up before she can do any more, or maybe..._

_My hopes crumble when I hear Hinata's scream of pain._

XxX

I'm sleeping on the counter again. Well, not quite sleeping, but almost. I'm sitting on a bench, legs tangled in the wooden bars, head resting on my crossed arms and eyes closed. I need rest, but I won't allow myself to sleep.

It's not so bad at the apartment, because I barely ever scream and when I do, the only one I wake up is sometimes Kurogane. But if I shoot up, panting and yelling, in the middle of Gramp's shop then I'm in for a thousand questions. I could always pretend it's just an occasional nightmare, like the kind normal people get once in a while, but if it happens more than once...

I didn't scream last night, so when I woke up everybody else was still sleeping. There was just Sakura in the next bed, but I couldn't find any solace in the sound of her breathing. All I could think about was her blood-soaked corpse lying at my feet, with all the others: Hinata and Hisho, Kento, Etsuko... even Mom. She killed my mother in front of me, and even though I knew it was a dream I didn't think it would hurt as much as it did.

"Are you alright?" It's Henrik's voice, so I look up groggily.

"Yup," I answer, "just tired."

"What did you do last night, go out on the town?" he asks teasingly. I grimace.

"Ha ha," I reply. "No, I just couldn't sleep." I've been going over it in my head again and again: leaving now would probably be the safest option. Right after the tournament, since I promised Sakura I would do my best to help her win. It would be the most believable as well; if I wait too long, then my excuse of searching for answers about my past will sound like a lie. But I can't decide on it. I'm too scared of finding myself on my own again. Is this what she meant when she said I wasn't alone "yet?" Did she know I would take this decision eventually?

I burry my head in my arms with a groan. I just need sleep.

"Do you want to take the day off? You need to be rested for the finals tomorrow, and we can manage here on our own – it's really not so busy since the tournament's almost over and the underground season hasn't started yet..." He sounds worried. I guess I'd be worried too if I saw myself.

"I'll be fine." I force myself to smile.

He doesn't seem to buy it. "I'll call Raken and walk you home, alright?"

I shake my head. "No. I'll be fine. Don't worry about me, `kay?" Just when he's about to reply, I see Clyde move into the corner of my eye.

"Henrik, would you please go check in the back for a set of serrated knives? We just got an order, and I checked the front rack but we don't have any there," he says. Henrik frowns, visibly confused as to why Clyde wouldn't just go check himself – it's not like him to boss us around – but obeys anyways. Clyde leans his back against the counter, looking away from me. I notice that he rubs his fingers together nervously.

"We had a deal," he finally sighs. "Yesterday, one of them came to the store and asked some more questions about you. They were... weird questions. I couldn't answer them..." he glances my way. I support his gaze, suddenly jolted to attention by his words.

"What kind of questions?" I ask, keeping my voice low so Henrik doesn't hear. Clyde licks his lips.

"Like... if I'd no'iced some'in' weird 'bout your arms. Or if you guys ever... argued in here. Where yeh came from. If yeh 'ver talked 'bout lookin' for some'in' in particular. And if that blond guy – Fai, I think 'is name is – seemed... bothered by... blood. And other stuff like that..." his voice disappears in a murmur.

"And what did you tell him?" My heart is racing, thinking of everything that could have gone wrong. Everything they could know...

"No'in'. I di'n't tell 'em no'in," Clyde answers nervously. "I di'n't know deh answers. I di'n't un'erstand what dey meant..." I force myself to calm my breathing.

"Alright," I say. "It's okay, calm down. Thanks for telling me." I take my head in my hands. I can't just stay here, sitting on this bench all day with these thoughts running around my head. I have to leave.

"I think I will take the day off, if you don't mind," I say, slowly stepping down from my perch. Clyde nods, breathing frantically.

I take my coat and hurriedly put it on as I walk towards the door. "Tell Henrik I felt sick and couldn't wait for him to come back and walk me home," I say. I'm not going back to the apartment. "Tell him I'm sorry."

"Lassie... what did all these questions mean?" I freeze at the doorsteps.

"Nothing that should bother you," I reply as calmly as I can.

"Yeh... you promised that you wouldn't go looking for trouble," he says. I shake my head.

"I didn't go looking for it, if that makes you feel any better," I say.

"Listen, Lassie, I'm... I'm worried for you, okay? Remember what he said they'd do if you ever got in their way... Lassie, they can do so much worse. You won't be safe anywhere."

"I can take care of myself," I reply glumly, reaching for the door.

"Just... don't do anything stupid, alright?" The cold wind slaps me in the face.

"Clyde, I've been spending the past three months trying not to do something stupid," I say, and close the door behind me. _And doing the stupid thing anyway._

If there weren't people everywhere around me, I would start running. Oh God, what am I doing? Where am I going? I have no idea. Maybe I should have just let Henrik walk me to the apartment and try to distract me with a conversation about Raken's latest pub run or his failed attempts at cooking. I'm just about to turn around and do exactly that when I spot him.

Just on the other side of the street, with some warm drink in his hand. His eyes find me too, and then hurriedly drop down to my wrists. I stiffen: so he knows. He must have been the one who came by the shop yesterday to ask all those questions.

Before he can cross over to my side, I pull my hood over my head and walk directly into the thickest of the bustling afternoon crowd. Why is he here? Has he been waiting for me to come out, or is it just a coincidence?

I pull off my hood and sidestep into an alley, quickening my pace. Pressing myself against the brick walls and into the shadows as much as I can, I swerve and slither my way through the streets in a way I haven't had to do since I left Hanshin. Sometimes we had to evade policemen or rival gang members that way – and anytime I entered another gang's territory it became a game of cat-and-mouse just like this one.

I don't look behind me, because that would indicate that I know he's following me. If I look nervous, he'll spot me instantly. So I spend the next countless minutes praying that I don't feel his hand fall on my shoulder.

Finally I steal a peek as I hide in a doorway. He's standing on the other side of the street again, looking completely lost. I take a deep breath and continue my way just as a rather voluminous man passes between us, hiding me from his view. It's the same man we saw the other day at the game, the one who invited Sakura to dinner with the mafia. What he would want with me I have no idea, so I just keep walking and trying to push all these thoughts out of my head.

By the time I look up, I'm completely lost. In the end, I have to call Kurogane on a public phone to come and get me. And, for once, I tell him the truth.

XxX

I enter our room, tugging uncomfortably on my pyjama sleeves; I'm not wearing bandages under them to sleep tonight, and I've just bumped into Fai in the hallway. I didn't think he'd be able to see anything, but then I lifted one hand to brush my bangs away and the edge of my sleeve slipped, revealing thin, silver lines on my wrist. He didn't say a word, but just stared with an unreadable expression until I ducked out of his way. I don't know why he stared – it doesn't seem to bother him at all when he drinks, but then again maybe he doesn't usually look. Or maybe it's that since I've decided to leave I pay attention to every little detail, every sigh and covert glance, until I'm not exactly sure when I'm reading too much into a gesture. Maybe he didn't look at them any differently than he usually does. I don't know, but for a second I felt like the game again and I hated it.

Sakura is already here, sitting on her bed in her lacy nightgown, bare feet dangling towards the floor without quite reaching it. She is looking down, her eyes taut with concentration. I pretend to smile to hide my discomfort.

"Thinking about tomorrow?" I ask. She blinks suddenly, looking up to me as though she hadn't even heard me walk in. Her expression turns sad.

"Ah, uh... yes," she says, flustered.

"What did the Vision guy want?" I continue, sitting on the bed. After what Clyde said about the mafia asking some more questions about us, and that man showing up at the shop's doors, I feel like I'm missing an important piece of the puzzle. Maybe Sakura holds some answers. Besides, I have to get Fai's face out of my head somehow.

She shakes her head, serious again. "Nothing. He just wanted to... wish us good luck for tomorrow," she says, repeating the same tired lie she's been spouting since her dinner invitations. There's no way the head of the mafia wanted a private dinner with Sakura just to wish her team good luck in a game that he owns and controls.

"No, really," I say. "What did he tell you?" Sakura frowns like she doesn't understand. "He just wanted to wish us..." she starts, but stops when I straighten up and peer coldly down at her. This is the last night before the finals, the last time we have to be truthful to one another – maybe even the last time before I leave - and still she lies. I don't know why, but I thought that maybe tonight she would at least tell me the truth about something.

It isn't the fact that she's lying: I've gotten used to that. It's that she's lied one too many times, and still she acts like I'm stupid enough to believe her. I stand, my hands balled into fists.

"I see," I say slowly. I try to keep my voice as calm and composed as I possibly can. "Then I hope we win tomorrow, and you get whatever it is that you've been fighting for."

Her expression once again becomes clueless. "What are you talking about, Aisha? I'm going to use the prize money to pay Yuuko-san for my wish. I told you this."

I smile coldly. "We both know you never had the intention to do what you said. We both know you've been lying ever since we stepped in this place." There is a distinct touch of venom as I continue. "I just hope it'll be worth it."

Her eyes are hard: there is no room for pretense anymore. "It will be," she says strongly.

A nasty little wind picks up and gusts through the room, although the window is tightly shut. I feel my heart jump, then tighten at the touch of it on my skin. It's like a breath on my ear.

I smile hardly, and for a moment I feel like Fai, smiling with my mouth but not my eyes. "Good," I say, and leave the room.

I don't care if Fai is still in that hallway. I don't care if he sees my scars and stares again, nor do I care which one of us will be the game tonight. I will not walk back into this room, to stare into her eyes with all pretense lost and her lies laid bare.

Not because I selfishly can't stand it, but because I will hit her if I do. I'd never forgive myself if I did.

So I will bleed tonight and forget the wind, forget her eyes, forget the words Fai whispers to her beyond the bedroom door, when I sleep in the living room and shouldn't hear them. Forget the sound of his voice saying that he will do anything for her, that she is his princess. Forget that I hate her, because I don't think I really do.

Forget that I'm exactly like the two of them.

XxX

There's a man sitting in the white throne, but no team of fighters around him. Instead there is the man who invited Sakura to dinner, refusing to look our way; and another that I don't recognize, pale and skinny. I look at the three men, puzzled: the one in the Chessmaster's seat is smiling at us, but I can't tell what his smile means. This is... unorthodox to say the least. What are we doing here if there's no team to fight?

Fai is helping his princess up the final stairs. They are talking, but so low that I can't make out what they're saying. Beside me, I can sense Kurogane's tension and Syaoran-kun's nervousness. I flick my fans open and closed constantly, waiting for something to happen, for someone to speak and explain to us what is going on, but there is only awkward silence and Sakura and Fai's low murmur to break it.

When they finally catch up to us, Sakura seems even more focused than usual, almost icy. Fai's eye is too wide, like he was shaken, but in only a few seconds his expression reverts back to that desperate little smile. He's become an expert.

"Are you ready?" the man sitting on the white throne finally says; his voice echoes eerily across the emptiness. Sakura faces him evenly.

"Are you the final master?" she asks. Her voice is softer, but almost stronger in its vulnerability: while he owns this arena, she knows it.

He smiles, almost like he's teasing her. "I'm in authority for the time being," he answers.

I don't think anyone who doesn't know Sakura would have seen it: just a tiny twitch of annoyance in her left eye. It suddenly dawns on me that she must have met him before. He must be the head of the Vision family, the one who invited her to dinner to 'wish us good luck'; what deal did they really make? I study both of them for hints, but nothing gives away the agreement they must have reached.

"Well then," he continues a little more seriously, "I would like to let this be a contest of individual skill: only one pawn shall fight another. How about it?" There's only a heartbeat, and then Syaoran-kun steps forward.

"I'll do it," he says. I think of protesting, when I realize that I knew all along that this would happen: that if it would ever come to one lone champion defending Sakura's wish, it would be him and no one else. I'm not even sure why I'd be opposed to it: some old-fashioned protective instincts, I guess. Besides, do I think I could do better than him? I'm so tired I can barely focus on one thing at a time, let alone defeat this mysterious opponent.

The Vision guy smiles again. "Understood."

I stare forward as Syaoran-kun walks past us, towards our side of the arena. "Be careful," I hear Kurogane whisper. "Even after the fight is over."

"Yeah," the boy answers. My eyes meet with the man from the shop, and he hurriedly looks down again. Is it because he knows that I know he's been asking questions? Is it because he shouldn't have been asking questions and is afraid I'll bring it up? I turn away, still unsure why my presence seems to make him feel so uneasy.

Syaoran-kun offers Sakura his hand, and to my surprise she takes it. Slowly, they make their way to her throne and he helps her up. Before he can turn away, she stops him.

"I've been travelling with someone who looks like you," she says, and I'm instantly frozen. She hasn't talked directly to him in three months. "I always had to be saved by him. To you too, I've only caused hurt and painful memories." For the first time in weeks, she seems genuine. I glance to Kurogane, but his expression is unreadable.

"If you want to apologize, there's no need," Syaoran-kun tells her.

"Thank you," she says, and smiles sweetly. I can't believe I'm witnessing this. If it's another ploy to manipulate us, I can't tell. "Syaoran-kun," she adds, and I can only gasp. What's going on? What is this? What just...

It took her three months. Three months to talk to him, and to say his name for the first time.

I don't know if I should be relieved or seething.

"We should get off the game floor," I hear one of the men say, the pale and skinny one I noticed a few minutes ago. He says this politely, but the way his arms are spread as though to heard us towards the stairs doesn't leave many options. Slowly, I follow the rest of the group down the stairs, where they've set up an enormous array of blank screens. To my surprise, both the Vision head's bodyguards come down with us. I had assumed one of them would be Syaoran-kun's opponent.

The arena latches itself from the stairways, and both thrones are pulled high into the air; one by one, the screens around us buzz to life, showing us various angles of the game floor. Syaoran-kun is still alone on the platform.

"Your weapons," the Vision guy says, his voice now amplified through the whole room. "They aren't the ones you are used to wielding. Let's play with your strongest point, shall we? You may use magic as well." I frown, because he shouldn't know this. Not if he's only been watching, since...

No. There was one time: Syaoran-kun and I were in the kitchen and I asked to see how he could summon his sword. Were they already watching us back then?

"Of course, that power as well will depend on the strength of the Master's will," he adds. On a screen to my right, I see Syaoran-kun look to Sakura and her nod in response. Why is she suddenly acknowledging his presence, after spending the better part of three months trying to avoid his eyes? I feel so completely lost: I can feel something will happen, I just don't know what yet.

Syaoran-kun throws his knifes our way, and Kurogane catches them expertly. Then, with a flash of light, he pulls his sword from his palm. The Gamemaster seems satisfied.

"Well then," he says, "here's our Chess piece." Suddenly, a light shines from the ceiling, revealing a human-like shadow hung by ropes in midair, far above even Sakura's head. One by one the ropes snap back, and the figure falls onto the arena. When it stands I realize that it is a girl, or rather looks like one: there's no way a normal human being could have survived such a fall. The Gamemaster chuckles, low and menacing. "Was there not such a thing in your world?" he asks mockingly. "A mechanical doll like this?"

"Weh... That thing is used against rioters and large groups of people! He's just a child!" I hear the man who followed me out of shop yell. I look up, and try to make out what is going on on the platform, but it's too high: my only windows are the screens around us. I know Syaoran-kun is more than capable, but can he really win against a robot designed to pummel several people into the ground at a time?

"Even if he is a child, he chose to fight of his own free will," his partner replies calmly. "Let's wait it out. He still might win."

"Lantis?"

"READY? GO!" There are no chains today, no delay between black and white, and yet it seems like Syaoran-kun's opponent is already moving before the boy can even take a breath.

He evades her first blow, a punch so hard it shatters the ground where it lands, and manages to block her follow-up kick. When he tries to strike her with his sword however, she dances gracefully out of his way, untouched.

I surprise myself by thinking that if I'd been the one to face her, we might've been more evenly matched: her main attribute seems to be speed more than strength, although the latter is quite impressive.

I gasp when she kicks Syaoran-kun in the jaw and sends him flying. He stabilizes himself just before she engages again, and they break violently, retreating for a moment to their respective sides of the arena. Sakura seems more determined than ever, and I realize that if we lose today it will not be because of her: she wants this more than anything. Enough to lie to us and risk her own life for it.

Syaoran-kun and the mechanical doll run towards each other once more: he knees her in the stomach, but she reaches forward impassively and throws him to the ground. He slides right off the edge of the platform and I find my hand clutching Kurogane's arm as we watch helplessly. The boy somehow manages to use his sword as a grip to propel himself back on, however, and I breathe a sigh of relief.

She blocks his sword with her arm and for a moment they seem at a standstill, sparks flying all around them.

"Can it do that because it can't feel pain?" Kurogane grumbles.

I nod. "Probably."

Fai is barely even looking at the screens.

They break again, engage, then break, neither opponent really managing a clear hit. Then, without warning, the mechanical doll grabs hold of Syaoran-kun's collar and jumps on top of him, pressing him onto the hard floor. He rolls out of the way of her punch, but I can't help thinking of the wounds on his back: how are they...?

My silent question is answered when I see blood seeping through his bandages and running down his arms. Even Sakura looks worried.

Oh my God, what game is she playing?

I can't hear what Syaoran-kun is saying because only the Chessmasters' voices are digitally amplified, but his lips are moving and Sakura seems to listen. When he is done, she settles back down in her chair and closes her eyes. The battle continues as it had gone, until the doll opens her palm to reveal a ball of electric light resting inside of it. It suddenly expands into a huge explosion, directed solely on Syaoran-kun.

I can't take my eyes off the blinding light; it's almost like I'm mesmerized by it. I can feel the power of its impact rush around us. Oh God, is Syaoran-kun... is he...?

"What the hell was that?" I hear Kurogane say, and I know he's just as scared as I am. The images on the screens are still too blurry to be able to make anything out. If only I could sense him, then I could make sure, but... I try, desperately, to send my consciousness out and feel him, but fail.

"Don't use that function!" the man who followed me yells angrily. "Do you want to hurt him? Don't tell me he's going easy on him!"

"No, he's serious," the other – Lantis, I think – replies.

"If he keeps being serious, I'm telling you they'll die!" Those words hit me in the gut like a punch; I don't think this man realizes there is only a screen between us, and his voice carries quite well.

"_They'll_ die?" I repeat softly, too shocked to move. If anything has happened to Syaoran-kun then yes, _they'll_ die. Horribly and painfully, preferably. I've died so many times in my dreams, I have a nice little bank full of gruesome ideas to try.

But finally the smoke clears, and I can't help a cry of joy when we see Syaoran-kun, visibly wounded but alive and conscious, in the center of the ring. For all he's been through, he still seems to be able to hold his own against the doll.

Just at that moment, Fai lets out a little whimper – so low that for a moment I think I've made it up – but Kurogane turned his head too. The mage is staring at the floor, his fists clenched and a determined, desperate expression on his face, completely oblivious to us. My heart starts beating faster – he has that far-off look again, the same look he used to have when we got too close to discovering something about his magic or his past, when he would make me think he was just about to slip off the edge and leave us for good...

Kurogane grabs his elbow. I just have the time to see the mage react and turn to us before a sudden movement on the screens catches my eye. The doll has once again formed a ball of energy in her hands and is diving towards Syaoran-kun. This time, however, the boy meets her halfway with his sword raised.

"Raitei Shourai!" I hear over the roar of the explosion.

The energy shoots up, like a column of light towering above us all. My mouth gaps open and I look to Kurogane and Fai. The ninja is staring at the platform as though his determination were enough to change the course of the battle, and the mage is glancing nervously our way. I take a deep, shaky breath and wait for the smoke to clear.

They are both standing. The arena is nothing but a huge crater and they both look like they are about to topple over, but they're both standing.

"They still want to continue?" says the man on the other side of the screen.

"It's over," Kurogane whispers. I understand what he means just a second before the mechanical doll falls to the ground, inanimate. Somehow, the Gamemaster has gotten off his chair and is close enough to catch her.

"Victory is yours," he says, his voice no longer amplified but still loud enough for us to hear. Just then, Syaoran-kun falls to his knees.

"Syaoran-kun!" we hear Sakura scream as she rips the chain from her chocker and dashes towards him. Hearing her finally say his name doesn't make me glad the way I thought it would; instead, I keep thinking that it's far too late and wait for the platform to descend so that I can join them. It never happens.

There is yet another spotlight shining from the ceiling, yet another humanoid shape falling towards the arena, and I frown, puzzled. Another opponent? But didn't he say we'd won... Is he double-crossing us?

As she gets closer to us, however, I can see that this new mechanical doll looks nothing like the other one: she wears a frilly black dress and her long blond hair flows behind her like a veil; she looks beautiful, ethereal, and entirely motionless.

"Chii?" Fai suddenly yells, looking up to the robot like he's seen her before. My eyes widen. What's going on?

"This is the only machine doll with the ability to make travel between dimensions possible," the Gamemaster says. "She will be the one to take you to another world." I don't understand, until I look at the screens: he is speaking exclusively to Sakura.

The realization hits me like a tidal wave - of course. That was their deal. But why would she want to leave without us?

The doll stops falling and hovers, like a puppet on strings, in front of the princess. Sakura raises her hand towards her. Why does Fai know this girl if she's a machine?

"Just what I thought..." Kurogane growls between clenched teeth. The doll, moving for the first time as though she had the capability to do so, reaches for Sakura's hand. Behind her, it's as though the air has turned liquid and began to ripple.

That's what jolts me to action: we have to stop her. If only to get answers, to understand...

Why? Why would she leave us? Has she been planning this since the beginning? Is this the reason for all the lies? I feel hurt. I could barely stand the sight of her, and now I feel hurt that she would want to leave us.

I see Syaoran-kun stand up and grab hold of Sakura's other hand, keeping her anchored to the floor and out of reach of the doll. "Don't let go of her hand!" Kurogane yells. My eyes are frantically searching for a way up there. I'm confused by the emptiness I feel, where there should be such a display of magical power; I feel disoriented and frustrated, like someone who suddenly has found that she can't hear a thing. I should be able to do something about this, but I am left only pondering if the distance between the end of the staircase and the edge of the platform can be managed in a single bound.

It can't, of course, but I run for it anyway. Just before I reach the stairs however, another magic circle appears and slowly turns into a woman identical to the mechanical doll, but dressed in white. What is happening?

"Chii's seal has been broken..." I hear Fai say, but since I don't understand I don't linger on it.

"Why do you want to go to another world alone?" Syaoran-kun yells over the chaos. "Is it because I'm here?" Sakura shakes her head.

"No, it's not your fault," she replies, "but you have to let me go..." Her eyes go up again, towards the two dimensional portals open above her. "I might not make it in time." Her voice is pleading, I realize despite the noise around us. What does she hope to accomplish by leaving? What hasn't she told us?

"Could she be...?" Fai exclaims, but doesn't finish his thought.

To my astonishment, two feathers emerge simultaneously from the identical women's breasts and float towards Sakura. I don't need to sense magic to know what they are.

Fai steps forward, somehow escaping Kurogane's grip on his elbow. The ninja dives for him. "Wait!" he yells. I look closer and see why.

Fai is gone. He has the same empty gaze as Syaoran, and the same single piercing blue eye. Just as I rush to him, the air around his erupts into a violent whirlwind and forces me back. He jumps up a considerable height, bouncing from fixture to fixture until he reaches the arena. I don't even look at Kurogane to see what he thinks; I just panic.

I fly up the stairs two or three at a time, my heart and feet racing to keep up to one another. When I get to the top, I jump onto a large sculpted rabbit and start climbing the few feet I have left. I have to get there before he does, even though I know I won't. My fingers finally hook onto the edge, and I start pulling myself up onto the arena's floor.

I yell, but it's too late: I see Sakura held up in the air between the two concentric whirlwinds, the feathers simultaneously penetrating her chest; Syaoran-kun laying on the floor several feet too far, staring in shock at Fai.

Fai, holding the boy's sword in his hand.

Fai, jumping up and raising the sword.

Plunging it into Sakura's chest.

It's like the world has exploded, blasting away the outer layer and showing me everything, everything: the dimensional portals, Syaoran-kun, Sakura, Fai, all the magic in this room and beyond. The portals, wanting, begging, ready to engulf anything they might catch; Syaoran-kun, his presence so different from Syaoran's because of his magic and yet so similar; Sakura's power, so much stronger now than it used to be, with the two feathers in her chest; and finally Fai, the sweet lilac scent twisting and turning, screaming in agony...

Something rips in my breast, and I almost fall from my delicate perch.

I don't know how I do it, but I manage to climb up despite the winds. There's blood everywhere, oh God why, why is this happening, why is the world so red, why...

Sakura. Why?

I'm frozen. I didn't even know a human body could contain so much blood. I can feel the scream building up in Fai's throat, I can hear the tiny hiccup as he gasps for air, the drop of blood on my cheek and the fear, the fear and the pain saturating everything.

_Fai, stop screaming._ I can't take it anymore – I scream and he screams and there's so much blood and why, why, why...

"DON'T PULL THAT SWORD OUT!" Kurogane yells.

Finally, Fai's scream reaches my ears, and the arena explodes. Shields go up around me, Syaoran-kun, Kurogane, and even Sakura's body - not lilac but rather something different, something... _me_. I'm doing this. I'm-

The scream retreats, and the explosion dies down with a whimper. I blink, unable to understand what I'm seeing. There are two Sakuras: the one with an open wound in her chest, thrown back by the force of the blade that carved it; and another Sakura, whole and smiling reassuringly, hovering just above Fai with her hand on the sword's hilt. This new Sakura exudes a calm, placid power, not like magic but less tangible and more powerful.

"_We made it on time_," she says, but it seems like her voice is coming from everywhere at once, reverberating across the room. "_Don't worry, my life won't disappear. It's right here._" What I can only describe as her soul reaches forward and gently hugs Fai. The mage is only staring forward, frozen in place as tears flow down his face. "_Please don't forget; from now on, the future can be changed." _She then turns to us. Her expression becomes sad. "_I'm sorry. Please, take care of Fai-san. Until we meet again." _

Slowly, her body and soul are ravished by the dimensional portals; and just as suddenly as they came, they disappear, leaving the room empty. The abrupt silence is overbearing.

My shields fall, and like cogs in a machine Kurogane and I dash for Fai. I'm not sure if I understand what just happened other than the fact that Sakura is somehow not dead, but it doesn't matter because I can't seem to be able to think anymore. All I hear is Fai's scream echoing through my very core, and when I see him raise the sword to his throat, I throw myself against him.

"Don't," I hear myself whisper in his ear. Sakura's not dead, but that doesn't mean he should die.

I'm painfully aware of the blade, only an inch or so from the nape of my neck. I hold the mage tighter, trying to hold him together, praying that his hand doesn't slip. I don't know if I should hate him for what he did. I don't even know why he did it. I just know that I don't want him to die too.

"Don't hurt anyone else with that sword," Kurogane growls from somewhere over us. "Yourself included."

I keep whispering in Fai's ear, not even aware of what I am saying – reassuring words I suppose, calming words. I could just as likely be cursing at him.

"So... rry..." the mage says, and slumps into my arms.

I don't know anything anymore.

I feel the ice clawing at my throat, threatening to overthrow me.

_Please, take care of Fai-san._

I push it away, feeling with shame as a tear falls down my cheek. I'll take the crying over the ice now, because I have to take care of him. I have to stay here. With him.

_Until we meet again._

"If I stay with you," I whisper, unsure of whether he can hear me or not, "then you have to stay with me. Don't break. It's okay."

_I'm here._


	47. No Rest For the Weary

**Here ya go, another chapter!**

**Yes, this one took a long time. The next one will probably take a long time as well. I'm sorry to all of you who continue to read this despite my frustrating pace, and I thank you all for being so patient.**

**Now, virtual cookies for all! :D *throws cookies into the crowd***

**XxX**

"What just happened?" someone yells as debris fall all around us, loosened by Fai's magical outburst. Taking a deep breath, I stand. Kurogane helps me haul the mage's weight on my shoulders, and I half-drag, half-carry him towards the stairs. It's best if we leave this place as soon as possible, before it collapses on us. After that, there will be time for questions and for crying, not before. Tears are already streaming down my face, but I do my best to ignore them.

"I got him," I tell Syaoran-kun as he reaches to help me carry Fai. "But thanks." The boy nods sharply, his eyes still slightly unfocused, as though processing all that had happened was too hard to do. I'm still clutching onto the mage just a little too tightly, like I'm trying to single-handedly keep him from crumbling.

Further up, the Vision head and his bodyguards are talking.

"The future?"

"It's changed. Those four didn't die."

"What do you mean?" Kurogane interjects roughly. Immediately, the bodyguards run in front of their master, spread out in fighting stances. Kurogane drops his weight slightly, and I feel the wind pick up again as I glare in front of me; can they not leave us a minute of peace before making us feel threatened again?

The Vision head smiles amiably. "Let's explain," he says, "with that other person."

"What other person?" I ask.

"The Witch," he answers matter-of-factly.

Of course. Does everybody know her?

"Please, follow me," he continues, and carries the mechanical doll down the staircase. I stifle a frustrated grunt and do my best to haul Fai down the same path. I just want answers, and nobody better get in my way.

The bodyguards surround us as though they want to prevent us from bolting, as their boss leads us to one of the lounges the elite spectators usually inhabit during the game. I must assume there are none today, or there would have been some sort of commotion coming from them when...

My grip tightens around Fai, and I grit my teeth. Sakura is still alive, somehow. There is no reason for me to grieve, no reason for my head to reel when I think of the moment when I first saw Syaoran-kun's sword protruding from her body. Somehow we'll get back to her.

There's a couch as well as several chairs in the lounge; I gratefully lay Fai on the former while Syaoran-kun takes place on the latter and Kurogane stands in the center of the room, arms crossed. Our guides silently file in after us.

"So," Kurogane starts before they can get comfortable, "what exactly did all that mean?" The Vision head only smiles.

"I'll ask you to be patient a little while longer," he says, "as I believe the Dimensions Witch will be able to answer some of your questions better than I will. Where is the creature you use to communicate with her? I assume you've left it at your apartment. Please, let one of my associates fetch him for you, you all deserve some time to recuperate."

I finish wiping the flow of tears from my cheeks. "The landlord won't let you in," I say, trying my darnedest not to sniffle, "and you don't have the keys."

"I don't think that will be much of a problem," he replies with ease, reminding me all too well of all the time he's been spending spying on us and exactly all the power he has at his disposal.

"I'll g-"

"I assume you don't need us to tell you the address?" Kurogane interrupts me, looking pointedly at the Vision head. The man simply nods, then gestures to one of his bodyguards to leave. The one who followed me yesterday sends us all a pained glance before stepping through the mechanical door.

As soon as it slides to a close, Kurogane strides towards me and takes my head in his hands.

"Listen," he whispers so the others can't hear. "I need you to stay here, okay? Don't go blank like last time." His fingers clench at my scalp and his eyes are staring at mine, serious and yet almost pleading. The expression is so foreign on Kurogane's face that I instinctively step back, prying his hands away.

"I'll be fine," I say, keeping my gaze as even as I can. "I won't do it again, I promise." I can't let the ice take over me again, because I have to stay here and take care of all of them.

"Don't go around pushing yourself too hard either," the ninja cautions. The pleading in his eyes is gone, now that he's reassured that I won't break this time. Not yet, anyway.

"I won't," I answer, but I know that I can't promise that. I'll do what I must, and the consequences of that will be what they are.

The Vision head is looking at us strangely, still with that infuriatingly sympathetic smile, so I send him a glare and kneel beside Fai, leaving Kurogane unable to tell me things to arouse our host's curiosity. Oddly, his other bodyguard doesn't seem interested in our doings at all.

Fai's breathing is slow and even, and he doesn't seem any closer to waking up than he was when I was dragging him off the arena. He's not injured – I checked when I laid him down – so there's very little I can do for him until he comes to. Hesitantly, I brush my fingers against his cheek. I still don't understand why he killed Sakura. My hand twitches when I think it.

_She's. Not. Dead!_

I pull my hand away hurriedly and stand up, instead walking to Syaoran-kun. I can't understand what happened until the mage tells me himself, and until then I won't take the chance of being angry at him. If there is one thing he has managed to engrain in my brain in the past three months apart from the fact that he despises my mere existence, it's that he would never willingly hurt Sakura.

"How badly are you bleeding?" I ask, reaching for Syaoran-kun's shoulder to check myself. The boy turns away.

"I'm alright," he says, refusing to look at me. I step around him, so that I'm once again in his field of vision.

"Listen," I start gently, "none of this was your fault..."

"I said I was fine, Aisha," he replies just a little too harshly, and that's when I understand the message and leave him alone.

Now I'm standing in this simply decorated room, ready to burst and with nothing to do. I've never been in this situation before: there was always something to take care of, someone to patch up, words to say to a needing ear. Now there's nothing but emptiness, and I can't even cry because the Vision head and his bodyguard are standing right there.

So I start pacing the room like a lion in a cage, furiously clomping my feet against the polished floors and clenching my thumb between my teeth. I occasionally pause next to Fai, but his situation doesn't change: still that same even breathing, still the same closed eyes. He could simply be faking it by this point and I wouldn't know. Syaoran-kun, Kurogane and the skinny bodyguard barely move, while the Vision head, having put his mechanical doll on a chair, follows me with his eyes for what seems to stretch forever. There is nothing here, nothing but the sound of my feet on the ground. The silence where there should be answers is driving me insane. I can't give in to the ice, however; I have to stay here. I said I would. Never again will I let the ice take over me.

Eventually, my teeth war down my skin so that I taste blood in my mouth. Is this what it's like to be Fai?

Finally, I hear the sound of the opening door. I turn my head just in time to see Mokona jump in the room, visibly distraught, followed by the Vision bodyguard from the shop.

"Everyone!" he yells, heading straight for Syaoran-kun. "What happened? Why is there so much blood? Syaoran is hurt?" He just then seems to realize who is missing. "Sakura! Where's Sakura?" At those words, the hope that had entered the room with the promise of answers deflates, and we become as sullen as before. Syaoran-kun looks to the ground, Kurogane's eyes glint dangerously, and I go back to sucking on my own blood.

Whether it's because of his sheer panic or because the Vision henchman has already partly explained to him what has happened and he already knows we can't give him an answer, Mokona automatically turns to the Witch.

"Yuuko!" he cries as the luminous circle appears in the center of the room. The Witch is standing calmly inside of it, holding an ornate glass cylinder and looking for all the world as though she already knows why we are calling. On her shoulder is another creature just like Mokona, but black in colour; it's probably the Larg that Mokona has mentioned a few times.

"The princess is in here," the Witch says before we can even ask, holding up the glass cylinder.

"Inside that?" Syaoran-kun asks in disbelief.

"It's a different place from the shop..." Mokona adds thoughtfully, looking confused. I'm just waiting for her to spew out enough information to make sense of before I feel anything.

"Yes," the Witch answers. "To the shop, this is another special place: a world of dreams. Sakura-hime's soul is currently inside a dream. That is what she wished for."

I don't get it. It's not the fact that she had a wish she wanted granted or that this wish involved being transported to another world alone, but I don't understand why. Why would someone want to be inside a dream?

"It seems that the princess knew futures from dreams," the Vision head chimes in, "just like our Lantis." The skinny bodyguard nods, his expression still blank. I frown at this; I had no idea Sakura could see the future in dreams, and neither did anyone else, if I can judge by their reactions.

"I had a dream," the man named Lantis says evenly, looking at Fai's sleeping form. "In the final move of Chess, he stabbed and killed the princess. Then he killed his comrades."

I freeze. Fai would have killed us? How could that have happened, if he didn't kill us this time? He would have _killed_ us? Killed Syaoran-kun, Kurogane and... me?

I can't seem to wrap my mind around that last sentence. _Killed his comrades_. I know he hates me, but to – _kill _– us, I...

"He was scared," Lantis continues without so much as a pause to let us digest this. "After that..." Knowing Fai, I can already guess the next words to leave his mouth. I want to yell at him to shut up, because this is just too much to throw at us all at once, but I instead brace myself to hear the end of his sentence. If this is the truth, then I won't shy from it.

"STOP!" Mokona cries instead of me, tears pooling in the corner of his eyes. "That sort of mean thing..." he whines, burying himself deeper in Syaoran-kun's arms.

Kurogane's features betray nothing of his feelings; his eyes are simply locked in front of him in a determined glare, like when he's engaged in a fight and is looking at his opponent for a weak spot. I guess he's just hurt and confused, like we all are. And I know that hearing those unspoken words about Fai struck a sensitive chord for him.

Yuuko nods. "The princess wanted to avoid that dream. She bet her life for it. The princess didn't want to be stabbed by Fai, but she knew what would happen to him if he didn't. This curse was too strong to be averted."

"Curse?" I mutter under my breath, but nobody seems to hear me. What in the world is she talking about?

"The princess was determined, simply, to change the future after that event. She paid the price of her good luck to go to the world where she wished to go, and another price to keep you all from dying."

"What price was that?" Syaoran-kun asks, and I can tell he's already trying to figure out how to repay her – when we're not even sure we'll see her again. Oh God, I don't even know what I feel right now – I was so mean to her just yesterday, when all she was trying to do was protect us – I just need some time to myself to think it over – but then why did she act so coldly towards us? – and then there's Fai, and that curse – how can everyone else be acting like this dismal information is enough?

"Could it be... that right leg of hers?" Kurogane answers before Yuuko can chip in.

"But... didn't Sakura lose that leg because of her injury?" Mokona replies in shock. I wouldn't say she lost the use of that leg, so much as it's never been as strong as it used to... but I just assumed that was to be expected after emergency medical care and that long trek through the ruins of that other world... so did that have a reason to be as well?

"She could have healed," Yuuko explains, "but even if she could never regain the full use of her leg, she wanted to make sure that all of you - Fai included - made it out of this event alive. She was determined to break the curse laid upon him."

"What curse?" I repeat angrily to myself. She keeps using that word, but I still don't know what it means. Could it have something to do with the reason Fai stabbed Sakura? But if he was cursed to do that, then why do it then? What was different about that moment? And how does that make us fit in this alternate future where everyone dies?

I'm so lost in my own musing that when Fai moves, I jump, in visible shock. Goodness, how long has he been awake?

He looks haggard and lost, his eye fixed upon nothing in particular. He's a child, confused and horrified, and I refrain the urge to throw myself on him and hold him tight like I did back at the arena.

"So you knew..." he mutters. "Sakura-chan... she knew what I lied about."

"How are you feeling?" I ask, purposely ignoring his words. If they want to confuse me with all their droplet-information, then fine – but Fai's welfare comes first.

"Sakura-chan... knew that there were some of her feathers in my country, Celes," the mage continues, ignoring me as completely as I had ignored him. Our entire group snaps up as though shocked with electricity. How... and why not tell us...? And...

_Why did Sakura die?_

I begin walking in circles again, because I'm about to feel angry at Fai. I can't run the risk of lashing out at him.

Yuuko nods. "The princess knew because her power to see the future through dreams came back when she was given her feather, in Tokyo."

"So she's a dreamseer too?" Kurogane mutters.

"A long time ago, I created Chii with a feather that fell in Celes," Fai explains. "I met with Syaoran-kun and the others at the shop, and even though I knew what they were looking for, I didn't tell them." He looks up to Syaoran-kun. "You, with your magic powers, probably know of another one as well," he adds sadly. Syaoran-kun nods.

"I saw it through the other me," he admits. I force myself to listen, although I'm busy trying to divert all my anger and pent-up frustration to something other than Fai, because they're talking about something I wasn't present for. "When the princess' feathers flew off in the ruins of Clow country, the priest said that the scattered soul of the princess was no longer in that world. But then, when we moved to the first world, you gave my other self a feather which you claimed must have gotten stuck to his cloak." His gaze is piercing now, "If that was the case, this wouldn't have escaped the priest."

Fai stands silent for a few moments. Then he opens his mouth, and although I distinctly hear him whisper the next sentence, it rings as distinctly as a scream in my mind. "Correct," he says. "I had the feather since the beginning." The sudden noise in my breast startles me, and I hear a loud crash coming from one side of the room.

"WHAT THE...?" one of the Vision bodyguards lets out a scream, very real and tangible this time. There's a crack in the wall to my left, running from floor to ceiling, cleanly cleaving the large chunk of concrete into two heavy pieces. One of them stands slightly askew, as though separated from its foundation.

Kurogane sends me a surprised glance. "Kid, are you okay?" he whispers.

The bodyguards seem completely taken aback, but the Vision head looks directly at me and nods, as though he understand exactly what just happened.

"It must just be the aftermath of the blast, back in the arena," he says calmly, even risking a little smile, which he surely wants to be reassuring. "I'll get them to check the rest of the foundation when we leave, but we should be safe for now. The alarms would sound if the building was in any real danger of collapsing." This seems to somewhat calm his bodyguards and Mokona, but Kurogane and Syaoran-kun seem unsettled by the realization that I might cause actual damage if left unchecked. _Well, yes_, I want to scream at them. _What do you think happens when a tired, emotional wreck suddenly regains access to magical powers she was never able to control in the first place? A pretty field of sunflowers appears?_

I glare darkly at Fai. _Stop screaming! _I reply angrily to his scream. How am I supposed to keep it together when he keeps yelling his distress like arrows through my heart?

I take deep breathes, trying desperately to calm myself down. I can't keep going on like this, wrecking havoc and destruction just because I'm upset. It's not right – I have to get a hold of myself. What's going to be next, the ceiling collapsing on us?

The mage crosses my eyes for barely an instant before he locks his gaze on the Witch. There is no sign that he's heard me scream at him. I have no idea if he realizes what has just happened or why, but he doesn't seem intent in letting it impede on his confession.

"You knew as well, right?" he asks Yuuko, and I notice that this time his voice is more cautious, almost fearful to keep going. Maybe he has noticed after all. "That I was telling a few lies. The first time I went to your shop, it was raining, but you alone weren't getting wet. Back then, your magical powers were stronger than mine, even with both my eyes. So you placed yourself in a different space than the rest of us, correct? Because you knew of the curse laid on me." There's another pause, one that feels as heavy as the unspoken threat I present in this room. "That I am cursed to kill those with stronger magical powers than my own," he finally breathes out.

I close my eyes and inhale sharply. Okay, I can handle this. It makes sense: when Sakura got two new feathers at a time, she must have gotten a considerable amount of power back as well. Then the curse activated, which would explain Fai's empty gaze as he-

Killed her.

_Not the wall, not the wall- _

But there's no crash this time, even though I distinctly feel a warmth rising in my chest and coursing to my fingertips. I bite my lip and try desperately to suppress it. I can't lose control, not now. I have to hear the end of this. I have to... keep control...

I feel like a dam, futilely holding out the flood that threatens to engulf everything I have left. I will not let myself harm them, not even by accident.

"If you knew that..." Fai continues, visibly oblivious to my silent struggle, "why did you let me come?" I'm too concentrated to interpret his tone of voice, but his entire body has sagged, as though it had used up all its strength simply to speak.

"Because that was your wish," Yuuko calmly replies. Fai lets out a dry laugh.

"Even though I had this trap inside of me?" he asks.

"Even so," she answers. "You meet... you join with others... and what you do after that is entirely your decision."

So far I'm managing to keep the explosion at bay, but it seems to grow in force the more I try to suppress it. I have no idea how long I'll hold, but for now I'm keeping them safe.

"So why is the princess in that thing?" Kurogane asks gruffly, pointing to the glass cylinder in the witch's hands.

"Because one of Sakura's feather is inside a dream," she says. "After all, dreams are a world of their own."

"And Sakura saw this in a future dream?" Mokona asks timidly. The witch nods.

"Yes. And she also knows that the other Syaoran will come into the dream to seek it."

The dam crumbles almost instantly at those words. Somewhere further in the building, we hear a thunderous crash as I stare disbelievingly at Yuuko.

_Oh my goodness, Sakura... what were you thinking?_

"It's too dangerous to let Sakura face Syaoran on her own!" Mokona exclaims, voicing my thoughts - with considerably less profanities.

The bodyguards send wary glances to the walls of the room, but all the others seem to either realize what actually happened, or be too engrossed in this new revelation to care about the potentially collapsing building.

"If I see her again, I'm going to punch her lights out," Kurogane growls.

"Eh?" Syaoran-kun exclaims worriedly, looking at the ninja.

"No! Don't do it! If Kurogane punches Sakura, then Sakura will be badly hurt!" Mokona cries.

"I'll hold her while you do it," I say, eerily calmly for the state my mind is in right now.

"Aisha!" the fur-ball yells disapprovingly.

"Yes, you do that," the witch adds with a small smile.

"YUUKO!"

My earlier doubts seem silly to me now: Sakura is very much alive, and my entire being is urging towards her. Why would she knowingly put herself in so dangerous a situation? Somehow, we have to find a way to protect her...

"So, you're saying her body and soul where separated?" I ask, working through this in my mind. There's bound to be a way.

"Her body is the biggest concern now, isn't it?" Kurogane adds.

"Why?" I ask. I fail to see how her soul, which we know to be in danger as soon as Syaoran steps into that dream world, is any less of a priority than a body that is doing just fine as far as we know.

"Without a soul, a body can't survive indefinitely; but even without a body, a soul can linger forever," Yuuko answers before Kurogane can place a word.

"Alright then," I say. "So we go after her body first."

"But... but... even if we want to go after Sakura, Mokona can't decide which world we go to next!" the fur-ball protests.

"I have a wish," Fai suddenly interrupts. Startled, we all turn to look at him. He hasn't spoken in so long that I'd almost forgotten he could interject at any moment. He isn't looking at any of us, however, and keeps his gaze locked solely on Yuuko. "Because the power I have left isn't enough," he continues, as an explanation for his request.

"It will require a price," the witch says, spouting her usual condition.

"My right eye," the mage replies without flinching.

I can't keep my entire body from twitching violently at those words; it's a joke, I think, another cruel trick to tease me by reminding me of my failure, another link in the chain he uses to choke me. But no, his gaze is serious and determined.

"Fai!" Mokona cries in protest, but is completely ignored.

"I suppose I could gouge it out-" Fai starts, holding out his hand to cup the skin around his remaining eye.

"No," I say. Even I am surprised by the forcefulness of my own voice. The mage turns to me for an instant, eye wide as though he's noticing my presence here for the first time. I support his gaze for as long as he will support mine, fuming. If he speaks of gouging his own eye again, I'll hit him.

But, just as quickly as he had looked my way, he turns back to the witch, as though I had said nothing. "But it's the embodiment of my magic," he continues, "and if I'd lose both eyes, I'd surely die. I can't die yet. So my price will be all that this eye sees."

"You will turn over the vision in your right eye?" the witch asks.

He nods. "Yes," he says.

"And what do you wish for in return?" she inquires. I notice his hands clenching into fists, making the drying blood on them crackle.

"I wish to go back to Celes," he says.

"Well, that's very nice, but you're not going to pay that price," I say. He's an idiot if he thinks we'll allow him to blind himself without stopping him.

"She's right! Fai can't do that!" Mokona yells. "If Fai does that, Fai won't be able to see ever again!"

"It's the only thing I have left with enough value to pay the price..." the mage protests softly, carefully avoiding to look up to any of us.

When exactly Kurogane stepped beside Fai without any of us noticing, I'll probably never know; all I know is that the next thing the ninja does is punch the mage in the head, so hard that Fai is almost sent careening to the floor.

"Kuro-sama!" I scream, despite secretly wishing I could do the same thing.

"Kurogane!" Mokona echoes. Syoaran-kun stays silent, but his face betrays his shock.

"That's what I punch people out for!" Kurogane yells, looking down angrily as Fai stares at the ninja's fist with an air of bewilderment. "Why do you have to pay the price alone? If the princess's body is in this Celes place, then you won't be the only one going!" he continues.

"But..."

Kurogane grabs the metal ring on Fai's chocker and pulls the mage close, cutting him short.

"Up till now, I've pretty much let you and the princess do as you like," he growls, eyes flashing dangerously. "So now I'll do as _I_ like." He suddenly lets go, leaving Fai to stumble backwards and watch helplessly as he takes over the proceedings. "Hey, witch!" he calls, turning to the circle of light.

"You've always been rude, and now you add an utter lack of sense in how you name people," she simply comments.

"The hell with that," he snorts. "How's the princess's soul doing?"

"You can't chase after it now, even if you tried," Yuuko replies. "Only souls can go into dreams. Besides, it will take quite a bit of time before the other Syaoran comes."

"You could have told us that sooner!" I say. Why does she always let us worry like that?

"Is... Is Sakura sad or lonely in the dream?" Mokona asks. To be franc, I only care whether or not she's safe right now. If she's lonely, well, she asked for it. It's not my problem.

"She isn't alone in the dream," Yuuko answers with a smile. "She's met someone, and that meeting will once again be the trigger that changes the future." She then turns to Syaoran-kun. "It's alright; Watanuki will not vanish," she says softly. "And his future is changing as well." I have no idea what she means, but Syoaran-kun seems to know who she's talking about, so I gather he must be friendly.

"Who's that supposed to be?" Kurogane asks.

"Someone who, up till now, has had nothing to do with you," she answers lightly. There's a short silence, and then Kurogane sighs.

"Alright," he says. "Then her body is first priority."

"Mokona will go too!" the fur-ball exclaims. This rips a small smile from Kurogane.

"Right," he says. "You, kid?" he asks me. I cross my arms.

"You're all idiots if you think you need to ask me that," I reply. "Of course I'm going." My eyes meet Fai's for a second, and I find myself wondering if he heard me whisper to him in the arena. Even now, I'm not sure if my words were reassurances or curses.

"What are you going to do?" Kurogane asks Syaoran-kun. The boy's eyes narrow determinedly.

"I'm going to Celes," he says. "The man who imprisoned me sliced out the princess's memories and scattered them. If now he wants her body... there's no telling what he'll do." I'm not even going to begin to think about the possible ramifications of this. That man... well, he'll pay when the time is right. For now, I have something to do to keep me from thinking, and I'll do it graciously; all that matters is keeping Sakura safe.

Mokona suddenly jumps from Syaoran-kun's arms and onto a surprised Fai, who catches him.

"Fai!" he says. "Let's all go together! Fai and Kurogane and Syaoran and Aisha and Mokona! We'll each pay a fifth of the price and go together, and we'll save Sakura!"

Fai looks down sadly at this suggestion of hope. "But..." he starts.

"I knew all along, and I never said a word," Syaoran-kun interrupts, staring darkly at his feet. "Sakura... her highness... trusted in you." He raises his head to meet the mage's gaze straight-on. "You may have lied, but the princess put her trust in the liar. The princess asked us to take care of you, so we're going to trust you too." I have to turn my head away and cover my mouth with my hand to hide my sarcastic smile; he has no idea how little my decision to protect Fai has to do with Sakura's request.

"If Fai went off alone, Sakura would be even sadder," Mokona adds. "But when Sakura learns that we all went together, Sakura will be very happy." Slowly, Fai presses Mokona tightly to his body, like an expression of silent thanks. I find myself looking with envy at his hand, imagining the touch of his fingers on my skin – but this time not searching, not roughly securing the source of nourishment, but rather kindly pressing, thanking and reassuring. Why is it that I can throw myself between his sword and his body, carry his unconscious form through falling debris and be the first one at his side when he wakes, and yet others are thanked, others are silently praised?

"Before we tell her, I'm going to punch her lights out!" Kurogane grunts, looking sullenly at the broken wall.

"Mokona already said that Kurogane can't do that!" the fur-ball replies indignantly. "Kurogane is such a barbarian!"

"Didn't I tell you to shut up?"

"No! Now feel Mokona's wrath!" The fur-ball then proceeds to jump repeatedly on the ninja's head as punishment, until I reach up and grab him.

"Mokochan..." I scold softly. "Please." He looks up at me and frowns.

"Aisha said she would hit Sakura too!" he says. I sigh.

"Do you want to punish me as well?" I ask. Mokona seems to think about it for a moment, then shakes negatively.

"Kurogane's more fun to punish," he says innocently. Ignoring the ninja's protests and Mokona's retaliation, I swiftly hand him to Syaoran-kun and walk over to the Vision head; there are things I wish to settle.

He watches me walk towards him with a curious glimmer in his eyes. "Yes?" he asks. I stop before him and bring my hands to my hips.

"I'll pay for the wall," I say, pointing to the object in question, "and for... whatever else broke in there," I add, thinking of the loud crash I heard earlier. "As best as I can, of course, since we're going to leave soon." He doesn't seem the least bit surprised that I have something to do with the destruction of his infrastructure. Maybe I slipped up in the past few months, said or did something to indicate I was capable of magic; I don't remember.

"Please, don't worry about it," he tells me, smiling. "The repairs would have been extensive even without your contribution, and I believe we have quite enough money to cover the costs, don't you?"

I grimace. "Yeah, I guess you do," I say begrudgingly. This makes him chuckle.

"I assume you want to leave soon," he says, turning to the rest of the group as well. "So I'll make arrangements for equipment to be left at your disposal for the purpose of your journey; anything you may need. Don't worry about any final affairs you may need to settle before you leave either; we'll be glad to take care of it. You all deserve a little rest." There's a tight silence, hearing him speak out loud for the first time in what feels like an eternity.

"Thank you," I finally say, as Kurogane nods in acknowledgment. The Vision head doesn't seem to expect anything in return for this, which surprises me – he hadn't struck me as the type to do things simply out of kindness. Or maybe it's just that he finds all this mess interesting, and is willing to give us a free pass for making his day a little less boring?

"What about the price?" the ninja asks the witch.

"Later," she says. "You must prepare, and then we'll speak of prices when it is time to pay." The circle of light fizzles, then disappears. There's an awkward silence; nobody knows exactly where to put themselves. I share their hesitation, but I at least know this: I am not ready to leave this world. Not quite.

"I... thanks a lot for your offer," I say to the Vision head, "but I would appreciate it if you would let me leave for a few minutes to deal with my own business." I reap a few surprised glances for this, so I feel the need to explain myself. "The least I could do for Gramps is show up myself to give my resignation," I say, shooting a glance around the room which I hope makes it clear I don't wish to be contested.

Syaoran-kun and Mokona seem puzzled, but say nothing to discourage the endeavour; Fai's jaw locks and he looks down uncomfortably. Kurogane nods understandingly in my direction, probably the only one guessing the real reason I'm asking to do this: I won't leave without saying goodbye. Last time I couldn't do anything about it, but now we still have a bit of time to spare, and I'll take it.

The Vision head doesn't seem in the least bit surprised by this. "If that is what makes you most comfortable, it is an honourable effort," he says, his tone oddly formal for what I've seen from him so far. "I would insist that you take an escort with you, however, to guarantee you don't run into any mishaps. Geo, perhaps?" It takes me a while to understand that he means the second bodyguard, the one who tried to trail me from the shop. I frown disapprovingly, but I don't dare protest; I'll just lose more time, and nothing stops him from sending someone to follow me, anyways. I'd rather know exactly where the spy is.

"Fine," I answer, looking away. "You'll be alright?" I ask Kurogane.

"Yeah, just don't be too long," the ninja says, sending a distrusting glare at Geo – it feels weird now to have a name to give him.

"You'll take the car, of course," the Vision head says, showing us towards the door, "and I'll make sure everything will be ready for your departure when you return."

"Um, alright..." I mutter, turning to Kurogane again. "Do you mind if I bring our weapons back? We won't be using those anymore, so..." The ninja shrugs.

"I don't think we'll be needing money in the next world," he answers, shooting a glance at Fai, who shakes his head slightly, "so you might as well, if you want. I don't care." He never built the same attachment to his new sword as he had with Souhi, I noticed – maybe it was the lack of a name.

"Syaoran-kun?" I ask.

"I don't mind," the boy says.

"Are you ready?" Geo asks, standing at the door, looking as though he'd rather finish with this as soon as possible. His gaze inadvertently goes down my arms again, all the way to my wrists, and then to Fai. I scowl.

"Let's go," I say, passing him angrily, and trying not to see the devastation around me as I make my way to the exit. Some things are worth remembering; others you wish you could bleach out of your memory, just as they will erase the blood from these tiles.

XxX

I silently watch the streets roll on by through the window, casting a delicate, ever-changing glow on my surroundings. It's hard to conceive that outside it is still day, and that the city has continued to live on as usual. News of our tragedy has not reached them, and if they ever do, it will change nothing. Even to those who have followed our exploits on television, we are merely distractions, entertainers, not people. They will lament our loss for a moment, for their own sake, and then move on without a second thought. We have lived here three months, and have failed to produce any sort of lasting impact on this city, on its people.

Except in that one little weapons' shop buried in Infinity's core, where we are headed now.

The Vision head said this was a car, but the term limousine would be more appropriate. The interior is roomy and full of a luxurious sobriety; the black colour and strong lines indicates starkness, but the seats are made of leather so fresh I could swear it still smells of cow, and my boots rest on a deep, woolly carpet. Geo and I sit in this space, facing each other and yet our eyes not meeting, while an unknown driver whose face I have yet to see drives us to our destination.

My bodyguard – because I guess that's what he is at this point – has refrained from saying a word since we've left the complex; instead, I feel his gaze continually coming back to stare at my arms.

"Do you want to see them?" I finally ask, irritated beyond belief. It's not enough that I was saddled with _him_, but now I have to stand his inquisitive silence. He pulls back, visibly taken aback, but I don't wait for his answer to violently push my sleeves up to my elbows, exposing my scarred skin. "It's not like you don't already know about them, so you might as well be allowed to examine them all you like," I continue. He looks away with modesty, as though I had suddenly began to undress myself in front of him. Frustrated, I fall back against my seat, crossing my arms in front of me.

I don't know what I was expecting – for him to start studying my skin with a magnifying glass? – but it was certainly more than awkward silence and a refusal to look. If he didn't want to see, why keep staring in the first place?

"I didn't expect there to be so many of them," he finally breathes out.

"Yeah, well that's an occupational hazard of living with a vampire," I reply bitterly. His eyes widen and he looks at me with disbelief.

"You really... I mean, he's... I... wow," he stammers, turning to stare out the window like he's just been winded. "Wow." It suddenly occurs to me that for all the spying they've done, he may not have completely believed it. "How...?" he asks, and I dig myself deeper in my seat.

"Long story, short car ride," I simply answer. He nods, still with a flabbergasted look on his face. Then he shakes his head, as though to loosen up all the cobwebs.

"I'm sorry," he says, "it's just that... I mean, I saw, but I wasn't sure..." He shakes his head again. "I'm sorry. They didn't tell me much about you. I didn't even know about... what happened today, until I saw it. But I saw the tape they made of you and him, when he was... well. Eagle and Lantis were fixated on you five from the beginning, but I didn't know why, and eventually... I decided to take matters into my own hands. You were the only one with an employer, or any sort of contact point outside of Chess, so I called the shop – the man on the phone had no answers for me. That's why I, um, well, tried to follow you the other day. I wanted to ask you a few questions. I must have scared you, and so I'm sorry about that." I only frown in silence, staring at his feet. While it explains a lot, I don't have anything to say in reply.

The silence stretches until we reach the shop, at which point the driver parks on the side of the road and I climb out under the surprised glances of passerbies. In a neighbourhood like this, cars are as rare as fish in a desert – I can't imagine that seeing a black, glossy limousine pull up means anything good to these people. I even notice a few heads turn pointedly away from me when they see Geo step out behind me – as though they're afraid that simple eye contact with someone visibly under the tutelage of the Mafia will get them incriminated.

I haul the heavy duffel bag carrying our weapons through the door, without even a glance towards Geo. I wish he would just stay outside, but he follows me regardless, either oblivious or uncaring of what his presence will mean to Clyde and Henrik.

The former is sitting at the counter when I enter, counting the money in the cash register. He raises his eyes to me and smiles.

"Hey there, Lassie!" he calls. "So? How did it go?" His features tighten a bit when he sees Geo enter behind me, and his last words were strained, but he keeps a better face than I would have under the circumstances.

I drop the bag on the ground, and the metallic rumble it makes reverberates across the shop.

"These are the weapons you sold us," I start, suddenly realizing that my lower lip is trembling. "Thank you for everything, but I'm quitting. You can take them back as compensation."

"Lassie..." Clyde says, looking from me to Geo with a pained expression. I shake my head.

"Is Henrik here?" I ask. He was supposed to work today, but I don't see him.

"He's... uh, yeah, he's here," Clyde hesitates, then points to the back. Either he doesn't think Henrik's in any danger from this, or he figures I've already told Geo and there's no point in lying.

"I just want to say goodbye," I still say, to reassure him. He nods.

"Aisha?" I close my eyes; I want to capture that voice in a chalice of ice, hide it deep in the folds of my heart and keep it there forever. I don't even have to look at him, and risk crying; that worry-laced voice is enough for me to treasure.

I look anyways, because to leave now, without giving him an answer, would be cruel.

"Hi, Henrik," I try to say calmly, but my voice breaks at the end.

His smile slowly fades into a mask of incomprehension as his eyes go from me to Geo, taking in the bag at my feet and Clyde's worried frown. He is holding a handful of spears, probably new arrivals ready to be put on display.

"What happened?" he asks, stepping forward; a few spears fall haphazardly around him in his haste.

"I'm leaving," I reply painfully. "Henrik, I'm just here to say goodbye."

"What?" I have to close my eyes again to keep myself from crying at the hurt in his voice. I hear the sound of the rest of the spears raining down, clanging on the ground like as many crystal tears.

"I'm leaving," I repeat slowly, tasting the bitterness in my words. "I won't be coming back." There's a short, disbelieving silence.

"Aisha..." Then I feel Henrik so close to me, and his voice feels like it is booming in my ears; my eyes flutter open all by themselves. "You don't have to... Listen, if it's money, we'll help you out – we'll help her out, you hear?" He's standing between me and Geo now, his arms extended protectively around me. His eyes are locked with Geo's, and the Vision bodyguard seems at a loss.

"Henrik, Henrik, that's not it," I call, reaching for his shoulder. "He's not making me go anywhere; I have to go."

"Why is he here then?" Henrik replies, a little harshly for what I know of him. I force him to turn and face me.

"He won't hurt me," I say, putting as much conviction in my words as I can. "They won't hurt me, Henrik. I'm doing this because I want to." I look into his eyes, and try to make him believe me. He has to believe me – if he does something stupid and gets hurt, I'll never forgive myself. The Vision family isn't known to be indulgent.

"Where are you going?" he asks, his voice still tense, but at least his muscles have loosened somewhat.

"With Fai-san," I say, relieved that at least for this, I can tell him the truth. "We're going back to Fai-san's home."

"Why?"

I sigh. "It's complicated."

"You can tell me anything." His eyes are so light, like a cloudy sky waiting for a spring rain. He's so patient and kind, I realize – but I can't tell him. It would just worry him even more.

"I don't have that much time," I say, looking up sadly. "I just wanted to say goodbye."

"Aisha, what happened at the finals?" His voice is not forceful or harsh anymore, but just a soft murmur. I feel my resolve weakening as tears threaten to fall.

"There was... nothing," I answer, painfully aware of how obvious my lie is. In my panic, I glance at Geo, wondering if he would have a ready-made excuse for what is happening, but no luck. Henrik sees this, and seems to pull his own conclusions.

"You wouldn't lie to me, right?" he asks, glancing behind him at the man he knows to work for the Vision family. I close my eyes, torn.

"Henrik, please," I say. "They won't hurt me. Trust me."

"But..."

"Please. Don't make this harder than it has to be," I plead. "I can take care of myself. Please."

His eyes narrow, and finally he sighs. "You're an idiot," he mutters.

It's that phrase, uttered so softly but echoing so strongly in my mind, in two different languages - in two different worlds - that finally breaks me.

"Stop it!" I blurt out as tears make their way down my face. "Why can't you just – she's dead, Henrik, she's dead and I have to leave!" I don't even know what I'm yelling anymore – I'm only conscious of letting myself fall against Henrik, of my arms circling his body and clinging, desperately, for some sort of comfort.

_She's dead, she's dead_ – no matter how much I tell myself that she's not really gone, I still saw her die. The image of Fai holding the sword still protruding from her chest is burned on the underside of my eyelids.

I feel Henrik's arms, hesitantly at first but now more forcefully, securing me to him until I finish screaming.

"I'm tired of being the anchor," I'm crying, suddenly distinctly enough for me to hear, "I'm so tired of being the one who has to hold him! But it was an accident, he never meant to, he never – why do I always have to hold him?"

Despite my confusion, I'm clearly aware of the irony that it's that one little sentence that pushed me over the brink – not seeing Sakura's blood smudged on the tiles, not watching Fai offer his eye for a bargaining chip, not learning of the complex conspiracy surrounding the Chess games. All it took was hearing the truth being whispered to me by a voice I will probably never hear again.

Little by little, I feel myself emerge from the pool of tears in which I was drowning; my breathing slows, and I open my eyes to find that the shop's carefully laid-out display has been devastated. The stands are all askew, blades of all sorts lie in random assortment on the floor, and what feels like the remnant of a powerful whirlwind still lingers in the air. I gasp, like a drowned person learning that she is no longer underwater. The silence is deafening after all my screams.

"I... we'll pay if there's any damage," I hear Geo mutter in shock, but his voice sounds so far away that I barely pay any mind to it.

Slowly, waiting to be certain that my trembling has ceased, Henrik pulls away from me; his eyes search my face, as though the answer for what just happened could be found in the corner of my lip or the curve of my cheek.

"Aisha?" he asks. I shake my head, biting my lip.

"I don't know," I admit, thinking that a half-truth is better than no truth at all. "I don't know why it happens." I turn to look at Clyde, tears still wetting my eyes. "I'm sorry," I say. He only shakes his head.

"Lassie, don't..." his eyes fully take in the devastation, "I don't think anything here can't be fixed. I'm really sorry about your friend." I'm not sure how much I told them when I lost it, but I appreciate the sentiment.

"Thank you," I tell him, then turn again to burry my face on Henrik's shoulder. "Thank you, for everything," I whisper, taking in his scent of soap and sweat. I want to store this feeling right next to his voice, in my heart.

His warm hands run down my shoulders, until they reach my elbows. This feels wrong, so I nudge them just a little further along my arm; I shudder when his fingertips brush against my scars. I forgot to pull down my sleeves.

He doesn't say anything about them, but I can tell he noticed by the way his thumbs trace the crazed knife-patterns.

"Just promise me you'll be safe," he sighs, leaning in a little closer to me. I look up to him and smile sadly.

"I can promise you that I'll try," I say; just for that one little thing, I can't bring myself to lie to him.

He nods, biting his quivering lip. I don't know why I do it, but I frame his face with my hands, gently brushing his cheeks with my thumbs. Maybe, I think, if things would have been different – if there wasn't Sakura's game, if Fai didn't need my blood, if I didn't have to go home – then maybe. Maybe Henrik could have been something more for me. I know that he's wanted it for some time now; I've known, but refused to admit it to myself because it just seemed too complicated. Now I have no choice, if I don't want to hurt him too much.

His eyes are that pale shade of grey, so much paler than mine; he is the warm, cleansing spring shower, and I am the violent, harsh storm. I know this. I've known this all along, I realize.

I stand on my toes, and gently kiss him on the cheek. "You deserve so much better than me," I say, softly, as I step back out of his embrace. I don't have the heart to try and interpret his expression.

"Say goodbye to Raken for me," I continue, and then hurry out of the shop without looking back. I can't look back, and risk being tempted.

I slam the limo door behind me, and immediately throw myself in the corner, refusing to look at Geo when he follows me.

"Are you-?" he begins.

"Don't mention any of that to anyone, am I clear?" I snarl, staring out the window. "Floor it."

Geo relates my order to the driver, and the limo suddenly jumps to life. We spend the entire way back in silence, Geo looking awkwardly down at his feet, and me curled up on myself in an attempt, childish and pointless as it may be, to keep my heart in one piece.

XxX

I slip on the dark gloves that the Vision head has given me, apart from the solid boots and heavy winter coat. The others are all outfitted already, from what I can understand, and they're waiting for me to leave. I don't know that I want to hurry.

I keep thinking back to Henrik. At least I was able to say goodbye this time, I think, but how much good did it really do? And why on Earth did I say that last thing? _You deserve so much better than me..._

Am I honestly so disillusioned that I refuse to accept that I am worthy of someone kind? Or would I be, in all fairness, more bad than good for him?

Or is it just because I know that I don't love him?

I shake my head. I don't know.

There's a mirror in the small changing-room, and I steal a glance at myself. A wiry, tough-looking girl with a haggard eye looks back. This is who I am now.

Yes, Henrik deserves better than the girl in that mirror. I am a guilt-ridden, dangerous, neurotic mess - a vampire's snack, haunted by nightmares and chased by a woman who wants to kill me. And to top things off, I can't muster the same feeling I had for Kento when I look into his eyes. I don't love him. Anyone deserves better than that.

I think of the destruction I wrecked in Gramp's shop, and shiver; it was a miracle, with so many sharp objects being flung from side to side, that nobody got hurt. Maybe I protected them, just like I did with the others back in the arena, but I won't trust myself with that. Nothing that has to do with my magic should be trusted.

I look once again in the mirror, and groan. As much as I hate the girl I see here, I know that she has to be the one to go and save Sakura; she is fragile, but she is a fighter. She is also the best I can muster on such a short notice.

God, I hate this. Why did I have to say goodbye? Out of some selfish desire to leave a trace here, in this world, to convince myself that, at some level, I mattered? Because I just needed one last shoulder to cry on before walking into the unknown? Because I honestly thought it would be easier for them to accept my departure this way?

I have no idea. All I know is that if I had stayed here with the others, my heart wouldn't ache nearly so much. But it's alright, I guess. I wanted this.

I deserve this.

XxX

Kurogane, Syaoran-kun and Mokona are waiting for me when I come out of the dressing-room. Syaoran-kun says nothing, but Kurogane has to open his mouth to ask.

"How did it go?" he says. I growl, and if I weren't so sullen, I would find this reversal of our typical roles amusing. The ninja doesn't press, for which I am grateful.

"They're waiting for us in the arena," Syaoran-kun tries hesitantly, obviously aware that something is wrong. I nod, and don't wait for them to catch up with me as I make my way over. My goodbyes are done - now I have to concentrate myself on the mission at hand: saving Sakura's life.

"Where's Fai-san?" I ask. We can't go without him.

"He's supposed to meet us in the arena," Kurogane responds. The way he grumbles it tells me that he doesn't like the idea of the mage being alone one bit.

"He won't get hurt in here," I say. "I'd be more worried about what's coming." I don't know for sure if I'm trying to reassure the ninja or myself with that statement.

"I'm not worried about him getting hurt," Kurogane grumbles. I press my lips tightly together as we finally break into the bright arena lights. Of course I know Fai won't get hurt if we leave him alone here – the real danger is that he goes behind our backs to do something stupid, like Sakura did. At least Mokona's with us, which means he has no way of contacting the Witch.

The Gamemaster – or the Vision head, or Eagle, whatever he wishes to be called – is waiting for us with his two bodyguards. Lantis seems as apathetic as ever, but Geo keeps sending nervous glances my way – really, does he expect me to break down again so soon? I guess the faith others place in me only reinforces my own doubts about my self-control.

We stop in front of them, like two lines of opponents in a Chess game. I force myself to look straight ahead, far from the blood-stained tiles, and towards the fallen stones and boulders littering the floors. There is a short, nervous silence as each side weights what can and should be said. We have nothing to say, I realize, save accusations that would appear ungrateful and probably anger our new allies.

"We can really keep these clothes?" Mokona finally says, visibly out of ideas for conversation starters.

Eagle – if that really is his name, I only assumed Geo was talking about him – smiles amiably at the innocent question. "Yes. I was told the country you are going to is quite cold. I apologize for keeping quiet while being in full knowledge of the situation." He strings the last two sentences as though they were a part of the same casual conversation.

"And for having us shadowed?" Kurogane adds, ominously raising an eyebrow. I've seen men cower before that expression, but Eagle simply keeps smiling.

"Ah, so you noticed," he chuckles. The confession lacks sincerity, but at least he's admitting to it.

"I don't think you were the only guys doing it, though," the ninja continues, although whether it was meant as a blow to the Gamemaster's ego or as a subtle warning, I have no idea.

I feel Fai enter the room before anyone else has even registered his presence. He is gloomy, but there is a steely spark in his eye where there wasn't one earlier today. I share a meaningful glance with Kurogane; he's up to something, and that means nothing good for us.

"Is Fai all right?" Mokona asks plaintively. The mage has a small, gentle smile that feels entirely fake. I haven't realized earlier exactly how hard this is going to be for him – going back to the country he's been escaping for so long, and to that man sleeping underwater... I close my eyes and breathe deeply; I was so concerned about Sakura and my own desire of closure with Henrik, that I nearly forgot all about Fai's feelings in all of this.

"I'm alright," he replies. Mokona's jewel begins glowing instantly, and Yuuko's image sharply comes into focus.

"Everybody's ready!" the fur-ball calls, and the witch nods.

"Very well. I will now receive the price from the five of you," she says. "Hand over your winnings from the Chess tournament." Fai and Syoaran-kun react with surprise, but to be honest I was expecting this outcome. The witch has shown before that she's willing to accept money, and it's the only thing we have enough of at the moment to pay for this wish. "The princess was not the only one to play in the game. You all participated, and you won through your own strength, and that will be my price." There is a short silence, after which Mokona hesitantly chips in:

"Mokona didn't participate..."

"That's not true," Syaoran-kun interrupts. "You did your part just like all of us. We knew you would always be waiting for us, so we did our best to come back to you."

"Syaoran..." The look of gratitude on Mokona's face is so candid that I can't help a smile from peeking on my lips. Even Kurogane and Fai lose their grim expressions for a moment.

"There is one more condition," Yuuko interrupts. I look towards her, half-expecting her to say that one of us has to do this alone, and perfectly ready to pounce on her for even suggesting it, but she doesn't return my glare; instead, she looks evenly at Fai. "When Mokona begins the transfer between worlds, Fai, you must cast your world-travel magic as well." The mage nods seriously.

"Yes," he answers. Syaoran-kun sends him a surprised glance, then frowns. Without even looking at him, Fai has a sad smile. "I'm sorry," he says. "That was another lie I told..."

"It doesn't matter," Syaoran-kun replies dryly, turning away. I don't understand what they mean – maybe it was something that happened when I wasn't there. In any case, Syaoran-kun's reaction surprises me; I wasn't expecting the boy to be so bitter. I wonder if the only thing he can see when he looks at Fai is Sakura being stabbed. Even for me the images are hard to dissociate, and I don't possess the countless memories of the boy who loved the princess...

"Mokona, would you give me Souhi and Kazumi-san's knife?" Fai suddenly interrupts my train of thought when he speaks to the fur-ball. Mokona looks confusedly at Kurogane, then at me, as thought to get our permission; the ninja looks away and gives no sign of dissent, and I just shrug. I can't imagine what Fai would want them for, but if we keep a close eye on him I can't see what harm he could do with them either. He's past the point of taking a blade to his own throat, and his demand was too oddly specific to be simply the result of a self-destructing urge. If anything, his plan involves sacrificing himself for us at the most inopportune moment, not now before anything has started.

Mokona shoots out both Souhi and my knife, and Fai swiftly catches the hilt of one and the scabbard of the other. He then throws my knife at me and marches towards Kurogane.

"Your hand, please," he says to the ninja, holding Souhi between them. Keeping a wary eye on the mage, Kurogane lifts his left hand.

With his index finger, Fai traces strange symbols over the ninja's hand; I feel the lilac magic lifting and churning around what I assume to be letters, which stay suspended in the air as though they were traced in liquid light. Then, in a gust of wind, Souhi is sucked into Kurogane's palm.

The ninja stares down at his hand, a little slack-jawed. I frown, then slowly bring my knife behind my back.

"Mokona won't always be by your side," Fai explains, smiling, "and you wouldn't want to be without your sword. It's the same magic that he uses to draw his sword from his hand," he continues, glancing to Syaoran-kun. I notice that he carefully stays away from the boy's name, and the boy gives no response to his quick look.

"Should you be doing this?" Kurogane asks, closing and opening his fingers around his palm, as though to verify that his hand still works normally. The mage smiles cryptically.

"I've already used quite a bit of my magic..."

Kurogane's hand closes into a fist, crushing the very last of the magic light lingering there. He scowls down at the ground, and then to me; I can tell his anger isn't for me, however, but for himself. My fingers tighten around my knife as Fai takes a step towards me.

"Your turn, Kazumi-san," he says, offering me his hand. I shake my head. The fact that he's willing to use his magic now means nothing good. It means he's terrified of something, and I don't know what.

"Keep your strength," I say. His fake smile twitches a bit.

"It will be useful," he insists, taking another step. His persistence scares me; what exactly is lurking in Celes that he's so afraid of? Surely the man underwater is still sleeping...

Or is he?

I scan Fai's face, but all I find is that fake, fake mask that he wants us to believe is a smile. There are no hints as to what is hiding below.

Is he?

"_You'll_ be more useful to us dead than alive," I counter, still holding my knife protectively behind me. For an instant, the splinter of a second, his expression crumbles – and I am left staring at the confirmation of my biggest fear: he's not expecting to get out of this alive. "Here," I say, tying the scabbard of my blade to my belt, "now I have it close to me, and you'll be able to save your magic for later." I think I catch a glimpse of a grimace on his face, but then he bows and turns away.

"As you wish," he says, and his voice is strained.

"Mokona," the Witch says, and the fur-ball nods. I exchange a panicked look with Kurogane as Mokona's wings sprout from his back. Right beside him, Fai is tracing some more symbols in the air, a look of intense concentration etched on his face.

For now, I think, we will have to work under the assumption that the worst will happen.

I feel Mokona's and Fai's magic intertwining around us, and I am faintly aware of darkness coming over us as we are swept to Celes.

A fleeting thought nags me now: I was meant to leave them after the Chess tournament. I was meant to be going my own way, to protect them from the woman in my dreams. Instead, I am following them again, because I can't leave Sakura when she needs us so badly. Because I need to take care of Fai.

Except that those are all excuses. It never even occurred to me, before now, that I might have followed my original plan. I never even paused to consider it. All this time, I was deceiving myself.

I don't want to leave them. Not just that, I _can't_ leave them – if this hadn't happened to Sakura, I would have found another reason to stay: my unwillingness to leave Kurogane alone with his burden, Syaoran-kun's loneliness, any other challenge that would have stood in our way. Maybe I would have been able to bring myself to leave if the situation wasn't so dire...

That is a lie. I will sink with this ship if need be, but I am too selfish and too weak to abandon it – even if I know that I will be the one to set the fire.

I am jolted to life by the feeling of a cold glass of water being thrown in my face, and open my eyes to see that it is only the wind. We are standing on the edge of a snowy cliff, over which the blizzard threatens to throw us any moment. Already my ears feel numb and frozen.

"Is this...?" Syaoran-kun yells to be heard over the wind, blinking wildly to make something out beyond the snow.

"This is Celes," Fai answers, staring determinedly at a point in front of him. I follow his gaze, and between two gusts of powdery snow, I see it: a castle, held up in the air by icy wings, and surrounded by staircases that aren't really there.

And in that castle, faintly, beats a living heart.


	48. Whiteout

**DISCLAIMER: Really? You should know this by now. TRC and all related characters and trademarks are not the property of me. Aisha and all other related original material is. **

**So… yeah. New chapter, with cliff-hanger! I apologize if the chapter's confusing to read in parts, but I was trying something with the first person point-of-view. Also, the next chapters will be a bit… weird? Well, not weird, but interesting for me to write. You can probably guess why by the end of the chapter, but I won't spoil it for you. **

**Happy reading!**

**XxX **

I try to calm myself, but the whiteout makes it impossible to take deep breaths without swallowing a huge gulp of snow. Whatever's in that castle, I have to be prepared.

"What is that place?" Syaoran-kun yells.

"Luval castle, where I used to live," Fai responds evenly – almost resignedly, I think.

"Mokona can't sense Sakura's body!" Mokona screams, suddenly in a panic. I reach for the fur-ball, and he jumps in my arms. I hold his quivering body tightly, wishing I could just solve everything without everyone else having to suffer.

"Well, if what you were sensing was her soul," I say as calmly as I can, because it's the only explanation I can think of, "then now you wouldn't be able to feel a thing; that doesn't mean she's not there. I can't sense her either." Syaoran-kun nods, having obviously thought the same thing.

"Sakura-chan is over there," Fai says, pointing to the castle. I nod in agreement, before realizing the reason I'm so sure of it: I can hear the faint beating of a heart coming from Luval castle, but the rest of the world is silent.

"How do you know?" Kurogane asks the mage.

"Because despite being separated from her soul, Sakura-chan's body is still alive," Fai replies. "And the only signs of anything living are coming from that castle." His voice strains near the end of his sentence, and I stare at him. Surely he wasn't living alone with the man sleeping underwater, in that castle at the center of a snow field that stretches out for miles and miles around us. There had to be people living here once.

My eyes go wide as I try to get Fai to look at me, just to give me a glance, to confirm or deny or somehow answer my pressing question: what happened here?

"Aren't there other people in this country?" Mokona asks. Fai remains silent, and he still refuses to look at me. My previous efforts to remain calm are slowly becoming futile.

"So…" Syaoran-kun finally says, "how do we get up there? Do we walk up those stairs?" I shake my head.

"We can't," I say. To me, it's as plain as day: the stairs are only an illusion. I'm actually surprised that Syaoran-kun couldn't tell right away.

"The stairs aren't really there," Fai adds, not before – finally – looking at me. Our eyes lock for only a moment, but I understand what he wants to do, and I also see a kind of relief in his gaze. What is it, relief that when he's gone there will be another competent magician in this group? Yes, because so far my powers have been incredibly reliable.

"Don't even try it," I say, just as the mage raises his fingers in the air. He stops short, and glances at me again. I shake my head; if I were to do it, I would probably end up hurling us in the abyss below.

Syaoran-kun seems to understand, and raises his hand in the air. "Fuuka Shourai!" he calls, and the winds begin to bend around us, enveloping us in a cocoon as they lift us in the air, towards the castle and its solitary heartbeat. I still don't know who that heartbeat belongs to: Sakura, or something else entirely? And if it's not Sakura, then where is she?

"So Syaoran can use this kind of magic too?" Mokona asks. I nod, keeping him close. As we get closer, I can see shapes appearing in what must be the castle's courtyard; human shapes, undoubtedly, but not one of them is moving.

When Syaoran-kun's winds finally let us down in that very same courtyard and my feet touch the solid ground, I am ready: the stones around us are littered with corpses. Some bloody, some not, some strewn across randomly and others respectfully aligned, but all wearing Fai's blue coat.

Mokona starts, and I secure him against me.

"It's okay," I whisper, although I can't look away from the carnage before me. "Shhh, it's alright."

"The… they're all wearing the same coat as Fai," the fur-ball says hesitantly. Kurogane is looking at the scene with a critical eye, this battleground probably telling him things that the rest of us couldn't begin to guess.

"They were all men of this castle?" he asks.

"That's right," Fai says, walking past the corpses without so much as glance and stopping in front of the massive doors leading inside the castle. They look like they won't budge, but they cede with an alarming creek when Fai presses against them. Slowly, I start to make my way up the stairs and into the wide corridor beyond the entrance.

I hear Syaoran-kun gasp and stumble, but when I turn around he's already righted himself. He keeps a hand pressed against his right temple, and for a moment I am brought back to the Shura marketplace, when Syaoran discovered something was wrong with his blind eye. But of course this isn't Syaoran, and his right eye isn't blind.

"What's wrong?" Kurogane asks as he turns towards the boy.

"Does Syaoran have a headache?" Mokona adds. The boy takes his hand away and shakes his head.

"No…" he answers. Kurogane sends him a confused glance before rushing after Fai, who hasn't waited for us. I silently hand him Mokona.

"Moko-chan, you call me if anything happens, alright?" I say, staring at Syaoran-kun. I'm not sure I'll be able to handle both him and Fai all at once, but God know I'm going to try as hard as I can. The fur-ball nods, and so does the boy, as I turn to run down the stairs, surrounded by ice columns and fallen bodies. There is blood everywhere, but I try not to look at it.

"Do you know where in this castle the princess is?" I hear Kurogane ask the mage. There's a pause, and Fai answers.

"Yes," he says. As we descend deeper into the castle's entrails, I begin to hear another heartbeat, this one accompanied by a presence; a deep, real and strangely ominous presence. Fai continues straight ahead, with long, confident strides, knowing exactly where he's headed. Following him, we clamber over fallen pillars and around piles of corpses, the presence I feel growing closer and closer.

Eventually we arrive in front of another wide door, and Fai stops. Both heartbeats ring strongest here, and I bring my hand to my belt. I can't know for sure, but the presence I feel must be the man sleeping underwater.

No longer sleeping, from what I can gather.

Kurogane and I share a glance as Fai raises his hand towards the door. I don't know what to expect, but I am ready to run and I am ready to fight.

The doors swing open before Fai touches them, revealing a large, echoing hall beyond. Facing us, standing perfectly still, is the figure from which the second heartbeat stems. Fai's entire body twitches when he sees it. Syaoran-kun gasps behind me.

"Welcome home, Fai," the figure says without smiling. He wears a long cloak, which he keeps carefully closed, and a crown atop his head. I nervously pull my knife halfway out of the scabbard.

"I was hoping, if it were at all possible, that I wouldn't have to come back, Ashura-ou," Fai replies softly, almost submissively, keeping his head down. At those words, the man in front of us smiles.

"But you promised!" he says. "You promised to grant my wish!" He reaches his hand towards Fai. "We've been waiting," he continues, opening the folds of his cloak to reveal a human figure. "This child and I have been waiting for you." I gasp, and my fingers slip on my knife's handle. That child… "We've been waiting such a long time." Those eyes. Blue eyes.

I've seen that child before.

"_Yuui!" _

"_The Twins of Misfortune…"_

"_Basically, to accomplish anything using magic, you have to establish a connection first. It can be either physical or invisible, and you might not even realize you've made it, but it will be there."_

_The firelight reflects eerily in the mage's eyes as he begins his tale._

"_The fairytales in my country are meant to warn and scare little children; most of them end tragically enough. Would you like me to give you an example?"_

_It makes sense that I would see his face in that dream, given that he's the one to have told me the fairytale in the first place, but…_

…_wedge my frozen fingers between two stones…_

"_Even though you knew of the curse placed on me…"_

"_Fai!"_

The pieces slowly place themselves together in my mind, but I feel like I am too slow. There's something here, a piece that's missing for me to understand…

The child is dirty and thin, with blond hair that falls to his feet. His finger is pointed accusingly at Fai. The mage seems completely powerless before the child, and I see him start to shake.

_You killed me. _The voice fills the room, fills my head, and screams across my mind…

Fai goes as stiff as a post.

Behind me, I hear Syaoran-kun fall to the floor.

Oh God, I don't know what's happening, but make it stop…

"_What happened to the second twin?"_

"_He was cursed and sent to another world."_

Cursed. And sent to another world.

I gasp.

It wasn't just a dream. It was…

But Fai was the twin at the top of…

My mouth opens for a scream.

"Yuui!"

I throw myself in front of Fai – Yuui – the blue-eyed mage before me – I don't care who it is – and wrap my arms protectively around him. "Yuui!" I scream again, and this time he reacts. "Don't listen to him, don't listen to him, you didn't kill him, you didn't, it's not true, don't listen, just look at me!" I order, taking his head between my hands and trying to force his gaze down. His head won't budge. "Yuui!"

He shakes once, like a tree in a storm, but still doesn't look down.

"Fai!" My voice is desperate, so much so that I forget what I'm saying. I curse and cry and scream words that I don't understand, clutching his face like my salvation lay in his gaze.

And then my brain goes foggy, and my fingers clutch nothing but emptiness.

"_Why did it have to be twins?" _

_There's a tower in the darkness, and in that tower live two twins: one below and one above._

"_The crops stopped growing; water became impure!"_

_A child whose face I know all too well is climbing up the wall, his fingers already bleeding from the effort; three of his fingernails are already broken, two are missing._

"_They possess magic so powerful that they might even try to usurp the throne if they are allowed to reach maturity!"_

"_Twins on the throne?"_

"_The abomination!"_

_They call down to each other; up and down, up and down, the same names._

"_Yuui!"_

"_Fai!"_

_I know this story. I know this story, spare me the details. Fai – Yuui – he needs my help right now. I have to help him. Why can't I just wake up?_

"_To exist in pain and sorrow until the world is destroyed: that is your fate. If you balk at this fate, one of you must die."_

_The twins look at each other, but their little hands hold tight. Neither can decide to let the other die. Neither can decide to die themselves._

_And so they go to the valley, to the tower. They go to exist, but not to live._

_Bodies, everywhere. Blood and snow across the stones. A letter, saying that the king has gone insane and killed his subjects. _

_One day, the king jumps in the pit._

"_This is where it all ends. The only ones in the country who still draw breath are the two of you. Live, O unhappy twins, and try to atone for your guilt." The slash of a sword, and a splash of blood over the twin's face. The king is dead._

"_Just because we're alive?!"_

"_I want to die, I want to die, I want to die…"_

"A choice was made, wasn't it? At that time," Ashura-ou says.

I just see enough to pull myself off the floor. "Leave him alone," I snarl, then fog overtakes me again.

"_Do you want to leave this place?" There is a slit in the air, like a sword had thorn a curtain. A man stands in that slit, with a long dark cloak and a monocle. On his cloak is a symbol like a black bat._

"_If you wish to leave, you must choose only one."_

_A cruel choice, asked to both at once._

"_Then free Yuui."_

_Freefall._

_Impact._

_Blue eyes meet. Memories pass between them._

"_FAI!"_

"_Do you wish to bring him back? Assume that there was a way to bring the dead back to life. Would you do it?"_

"…_Fai…"_

"_If you do, then there is something you must do for me. Soon, someone will come for you, and you will be able to leave. But one day will come when you will travel to many varied places, and meet someone who bears stronger magic than you. You will put that one to death. That is your curse. And your other curse…"_

_Fog inside the fog, like the memories confuse themselves._

"…_and your second curse, you do not need to remember."_

_Boy, no longer a twin, cradles the corpse. The earth shakes, the tower collapses._

"_It's the end of the world…"_

_A tall figure appears. Ashura-ou._

"_Come with me."_

"_To be unhappy?"_

"_No. To grant me a wish."_

_Pause, saturated with hope._

"_Shall we go?"_

_The boy grabs the man's hand._

"_What is your name?"_

_Hesitation, full of shame._

"_Fai…"_

The world regains some of its clarity.

I am on my hands and knees, staring at the ground. My breath is hasty and strained. In front of me, Fai is kneeling as well, but cradling the child and holding Ashura-ou's hand. Behind me, I see Syaoran-kun slumped on the floor, holding his head, while Kurogane supports him and glares at the mage.

"So… you must know, as one who has received that child's memories," Ashura-ou starts, his voice calm and gentle. My head is still dizzy, and I find it hard to believe that the man with that voice is hurting Fai. "Back then, that child was given the same choice, and he chose you. Fai… no, your real name was Yuui, was it not? You took the name of Fai, the dead child's name, and your own name was erased from the world. However, even so, that does not lessen your guilt." He smiles at those words, and Fai jumps back. I twitch, aware that Fai is in danger, but still too confused to know what to do. "Don't worry, the ones who travel with you have seen it as well. Seen your past."

Finally, Fai turns around to look at me. His face is horrified. Then his gaze moves back to Kurogane and Syaoran-kun, and he winces violently. I don't understand; why would Kurogane scare Fai-

That man. A black, vaguely bat-shaped symbol. Fai knew the man who killed Kurogane's mother. He knew who was following us this whole time._ And he didn't say anything._

"Ah… ah…" my frantic panting reaches my ears. It's like I want to say something, but I can't think of anything so I am reduced to small cries. I reach to Fai; I can crouch now, but I'm still too dizzy to risk standing. His eye rests on me again, and he is shaking.

"Now, shall we see the true you?" Ashura-ou says, looking at the mage with a smile. "Fai? See the promise you made in the past? See everything that you know?"

He doesn't wait for an answer, and I hear Syaoran-kun groan in pain as we are swept back by the tide of memories.

_It's back to the tower now, and the young Yuui is staring at the mysterious man's authoritarian finger pointed straight at him._

"_You will go on a journey," the man says. "On that journey, you will visit many worlds. You will travel with a desert princess and the image of a man I've created. You will be my chess piece."_

"_Will… will they come for me?" Yuui asks fearfully._

"_No," the man – Fei Wong Reed, now I can remember his name – replies, "although they will come from other worlds. However, there will be another one to join you on this journey. The Witch got to him first."_

"_The witch?"_

"_One with enormous magical powers, who can travel freely between worlds. She saw further than my dreamseer, and she took that child before my plans were complete. She placed him with the dreamseer princess of the country of Japan. If you ever meet that child, remember that he belongs to the witch. He is not my enemy alone; he has the power to hinder your wish as well!"_

"_My wish…"_

"_You wish to bring him back, do you not? That twin of yours."_

_Yuui looks up gravely from his brother's corpse. "Do you want to meet someone who died too?" he asks. Fei Wong winces, but does not answer._

"_The desert princess must travel through many different worlds, and add physical memories of those worlds to her body," he continues instead. "It is required to activate a ruin located in the kingdom of Clow; it is required for my wish to come to fruition. You and the image must protect the princess."_

"_For how long?"_

"_Until she returns to the kingdom of Clow. You must travel with her and remove anything that gets in the way. If that child from Japan becomes an interference as well, then he too must be taken care of."_

"_I have to kill him?" Yuui asks shakily. Fei Wong has a cruel smile._

"_What's this? Someone who made a decision which caused the death of his own twin is now squeamish about killing a complete stranger?" Trembling, the boy reaches for his brother's body and cradles it next to him._

"_I want to take Fai with me," he whispers._

"_Bodies devoid of souls will rot," Fei Wong says. "Bringing him with you will only accelerate the process." He waits a short pause, then continues. "When the one who will come to take you away brings you to another world, a feather will fall into that world. It is a feather of the princess' memories; one such as you should understand how powerful such an object is. If you put that feather with his body, it will never decay. Other feathers will fall as well; you must bring one of these feathers with you on your journey. If the princess dies soon after her journey has begun, then it will all be pointless."_

"_How… many feathers… will fall?" Yuui asks._

"_My dreamseer has not answered that question," the man replies. "Not all details appear in dreams. I take that back: it might have been possible for Clow Reed to see everything."_

"_Clow?"_

"_Never forget," Fei Wong says imperiously as the slit in the air closes slowly, "you are my pawn. Until your wish is granted, and your second curse is broken."_

Mokona cries out, and I turn to see Syaoran-kun lying on the ground. I wince as a wave of dizziness overcomes me, but I repel it much easier than last time.

Kurogane looks with concern at the boy beside him, and then rises up slowly.

_Fai is sleeping at the bottom of a pool. No, of course I know he's not really sleeping – but I can't say the word right now. Ashura-ou was very kind with us since we've gotten here, even giving us new, warm clothing and Fai a box of ice as a bed. He said it would keep him from decaying as fast as he normally would._

"_Is there anything you would like done?" the king asks. I nod, slowly._

"_I'd like to cut my hair," I say. "Even if it's just my hair, I'd like some part of me to be with him while I'm away." It takes everything for me to look away from Fai when I feel Ashura-ou come up behind me._

"_Very well," he says, reaching for something in his cloak. "Then let's leave something else to keep this precious person company." He pulls out a smooth stone, vaguely alight and blue. "Fluorite," he explains, "the guardian stone of Celes."_

"_Fluorite," I repeat, eyeing it. It sounds alright, not like any evil spells have been cast on it. I don't think Ashura-ou would want to hurt Fai, but sometimes things happen even if you don't want them too._

_He smiles at me. "It shall be a gift to you too," he says. "Not the stone, the name." I frown, because I don't understand. I already have a name. "From this day forward, you shall be a citizen of Celes, Fai Fluorite," he adds, and I glance towards the pool before looking back up. That's right: I'm Fai now. "That name will be a protection for you," Ashura-ou tells me, bowing his head. I take a step back, inadvertently placing my heel on the very edge of the pool._

"_But… why would you do something… like that… for me?" I ask, surprised. It was kind enough for him to let us come here…_

_For the first time, he seems sad. "I have a… request to make to you," he says. "But it is a matter of far into the future." He kneels in front of me and takes my hands. "Now cut your hair, Fai, so that it can stay with your precious person, with the stone. And…" I stiffen as his arms go around me, but he doesn't squeeze to hurt me, and he's not lifting me to go anywhere. "A new day will begin," he says softly next to my ear. Slowly, I wrap my hands around him too._

_No matter how painful things get, I will live. I will not die without bringing Fai back. Even if it means I must kill with my bare hands!_

I wince, and it impedes my attempts at standing. I'm still only bracing my feet on the ground when Kurogane walks by me, going straight for Fai. My first move is toward Syaoran-kun, until I notice a glimmer from the corner of my eye: Souhi. Why is Kurogane pulling out…?

Why is Kurogane pointing his sword at Fai?

I watch in horror as Fai stands up slowly, looking at Souhi with an unwavering eye.

"I will not die," he says, and his fingers clench around the boy's body. "Not until I can bring Fai back to life. Not until I can give him back his name and his life!"

"Very well," Ashura-ou says, still that infuriating smile on his face. "Then the one who must die is him."

Fai points a trembling finger towards Kurogane. I don't realize at first that the scream of indignation reverberating through the hall is my own.

"And after that, you will grant my own wish!" the king continues. The mage's teeth are clenched, and he is staring in front of him with determination.

_I hear the groan of the avalanche as it gallops down to the valley. One, two, three, remember the spells and lift my staff, and it goes around the town as though it hit an invisible wall. The snow and ice finally settle in front of me, and I see two lights – two very powerful lights – emerge from it. They… they look like feathers. The memory feathers._

_I grab the first one with hesitation, and the second one more greedily. One will go to Fai; I'll try to give it human form, so that it can watch over him when I'm gone. And the other…_

_The other will be for that journey. For the desert princess._

_I wonder how she'll be? I've never seen a desert before, so I don't know how the people who live in one look. Maybe her skin will be the colour of the sand, just like the people of Celes have skin almost as white as snow._

_Then there'll be that shell-man that he spoke about, an imitation… will he act like a human? I wonder if he'll be friendly at all. I wonder why that man made an imitation of a man to begin with._

_And that other child, the one that belongs to the witch. Will he act like a friend? If he does, what if I can't…_

_But that doesn't matter, not to me. We will travel together, but there will be nothing more. _

_I've barely noticed that I've been walking towards the town all this time._

"_Wizard-sama!"a group of townspeople run towards me, headed by a woman hauling a young child behind her. They give me praise to which I barely listen – it was nothing, I don't understand why they act so grateful. I bow, to which they reply in kind, and I make my way towards the castle again. Something light touches my cloak, and I turn to see. It's the small child, a girl. She has freckles, I notice, a quite substantial amount of them._

"_Thank you," she babbles, "but I'd be even more grateful if you'd smile!" I stare at her, frowning, until her mother runs to us and swiftly apologizes. I reassure her that it was nothing._

"_I've never been very good at smiling," I tell the girl. _

"_Then you should practice," she replies. Her mother does drag her away, and I continue my walk once more. This time, I am not interrupted until I reach the castle door._

_The guards are arguing again, this time about the weather. It's comical, to see them always pecking like old hens. I remember the little girl's words; I've never had much practice smiling, but I guess trying wouldn't hurt..._

_It's barely anything, just lifting up the corners of my mouth ever-so-slightly, but the guards notice it straight away._

"_You just laughed!" one of them cries, and I start to become troubled._

"_D-did I do it wrong?" I wonder. He starts laughing as well._

"_No, no of course not!"_

"_You should laugh a whole lot more!"_

"_I'm sure Ashura-ou would be pleased to see it!" I hadn't thought of that. Why would smiling make other people happy?_

_When I walk into the throne room, I am nervous. What if smiling really could have that effect on people? Ashura-ou seems to be waiting for me, standing beside his throne as usual._

"_Welcome home," he says warmly. "It seems you protected the town from an avalanche."_

"_How did you-"_

"_I know," he says. "You could be very far, in another world, and I would know. I know your magic, Fai." I don't answer, because I don't know what to say, and this somehow makes him laugh. "It's true! You could be lost on some far-off world, and I could come for you."_

_I don't like this. I didn't do anything for such kindness. _

"_What am I supposed to do for you?" I ask, maybe too suddenly. I need to know what I can do to repay back this debt he is thrusting upon me. "What is the request you had for me?" The king becomes serious._

"_Do you love Celes?" he asks. I frown; that's a silly question._

"_Of course!" I say. "Everyone in it is a nice person, and they don't seem to mind that I live here."_

"_And so, if something were to happen to this country, you would use your power to help, correct?" Ashura-ou asks me. My fingers clasp my staff, and I try to stifle the berserk beating of my heart. It's time he should know this._

"_But, if someone comes to this country that is more powerful than me…" I start._

"_You are cursed to kill that person," he concludes for me, and I freeze in shame. He lifts his hand to conjure a spell. "I cannot lift your curse," he says, "however I might be able to suppress it. Your magical power grows the more you use it." A symbol appears over his hand, and I recognize it for having seen it on many reliefs and tapestries: it's a phoenix, the firebird of Celes. "If this is affixed to your person, this pattern will prevent your powers from growing any more than they already are. Also, were I to die, it would lose its effectiveness." _

"_But why would you…!" I protest. He can't die, not now. I can't see another person die._

"_Everyone dies, at some point," he says, like it doesn't matter to him. His voice is deeper now, scary. "What I want of you is to eliminate anyone who brings death and destruction upon this country, whoever that person might be." I back away a little._

"_Your Majesty?"_

"_That is what I ask of you," he says, and smiles as usual. I nod._

"_I'll do it," I say, "as long as I exist." He kneels before me and takes my hand._

"_Thank you, Fai," he says. _

"You gave me your promise," Ashura-ou says. "Anyone who brings death and destruction upon this country, you will…"

"Kill," Fai finishes, and swings his arm out in a circular motion. Lilac swells instantly.

The wave of blue runes almost hits Kurogane, but the ninja neatly dodges it and swings his sword out to meet the magic light; it shatters like glass, and Fai is thrown back.

"Let's stop this farce right now," he growls, dashing for Ashura-ou. But Fai is faster, and sends him flying through the air with another magic blast.

_I absorb the very last of the spellbook Ashura-ou has given me to study. I'm so concentrated that I barely hear him come up behind me, but I feel him; his presence is unmistakable. _

"_It seems you've memorized all the spells from that book," he says. I nod, without looking away from my work._

"_Yes," I answer._

"_In fact," he continues, "you have mastered the skills contained in nearly all the castle's spellbooks," he continues, and I hear pride in his voice. I try not to show my joy, which isn't too difficult; I just have to think about _that. _"What is the matter, Fai?" he asks. I squeeze the book tightly against me. _

"_No matter how hard I try," I admit, "I can never seem to master healing or reviving magic. I can only memorize attack spells. Things that hurt people."_

"_Try smiling," he replies. My head snaps up. Surely he misheard what I said. "Smile," he repeats. I pause, and then finally decide to give it a try._

_My lips shape into a smile._

"_Your magic was successful," Ashura-ou says. Now I really don't understand._

"_What?" I ask._

"_Your smile, Fai, has done much to heal my heart," he says. "That is a kind of magic as well." I don't know what to say. I feel the red come to my cheeks and bow my head in shame. His hand comes up to stroke my hair. Such kindness…_

"_Thank you…" I whisper._

"Stop it!" I scream, finally solid enough on my feet to stand. Kurogane bounces against a pillar, seeming little more than annoyed, and goes back towards Fai. The mage attacks again, and the flurry of magic and steel is so dizzying I find myself stumbling just from looking at it.

_Chii is swimming in the pool where Fai is. I like watching her move, watching her smile. I made her to be just like a mother. She says Fai is fine._

_Ashura-ou comes to see. "I approve of how you've become so bright, but I'm not sure I approve of your preference for liquor over food." We banter, because I can't see it yet… he is injured. Blood is flowing from his arm and onto the floor, and he acts as though it is nothing. He says he is not hurt, and stares at the blood as though he had forgotten it was there and had meant to put it away._

All I can do for now is watch, and it's killing me.

If this goes on, one of them will die. This is… childish. The enemy is not each other, but the man standing behind them, smiling with satisfaction at the wreckage he is causing. How can they not see that?

If this goes on, one of them will…

_Sakura, her body thrown back by the force of the blade piercing her body. _

_Further away, Syaoran standing atop Fai's body, covered in blood._

_Then, just the sight of Fai's blue eyes before the oni dives on him._

Pain. Anger.

Not flames flaring up through my body this time, but a storm.

"STOP!" I yell, and an invisible hand slaps the ground between them. The pillars shake and tumble around us, as Kurogane and Fai are thrown to opposite sides of the room. I hold them there – I know I'm holding them, I can feel the air twisting and pressing like an extension of my fingers – against their respective walls, unable to move towards each other. "It's enough!" I continue, and my voice is not my voice but deeper, like the wind of a tempest, like my mother when she was angry. "Stop acting like children! Stop it! You are not going to kill each other!"

Fai's magic is pressing against mine, but I can resist it for the time being. His powers have become quite weak – I hadn't realized until now how weak.

"Stop trying," I say, looking at Fai. I am not yelling anymore, but the voice that is not my voice still carries. "You can't kill him, remember? How are you going to stay alive if you can't drink?" He is not moving anymore, instead just staring at a point just slightly above my shoulder. He is still holding the boy – that boy – is it really his brother?

"You will not die," I continue. "Neither of you will die. Do you hear me? Stop fighting each other!"

In front of me, Ashura-ou seems to find this wildly amusing. "So you are a sorceress as well?" he asks. "Well, it isn't that I don't respect your talents, but you are currently restraining the man who will fulfill my wish, and so…" He lifts his hand, and a crest of ice rises from the ground, going towards me; it breaks at my feet like a wave. I'm only confusedly aware of having braced myself against the impact.

Ashura-ou looks curiously at the remains of his ice crest, then smiles. "A talented little witch, from what I can tell," he says. "And with so much of your power still dormant! A challenge can always be interesting." He raises his hand again.

"Kid!" Kurogane yells, a warning I think, or a plea of denial. Neither can help me now. I know what is going to happen; I am here. I am looking at it. My feet brace against the ice, and this time I am consciously strengthening a shield in front of me. I am ready for it.

"Unfortunately," the king continues, "I have no intention of pursuing a challenge today." Before I can adjust, I feel his energy running across my body, searching for something. It stops and pools near my head.

I realize what's happening just a moment too late.

"There it is," Ashura-ou says, satisfied.

There is the sound of breaking metal near my ear, and my barrette falls at my feet. I stare at it, bewildered, for what feels like an eternity.

A dam within my chest bursts open, and a sledgehammer crashes on my skull.

Something is flooding me, something dark and murky and beautiful and threatening. I can barely make out the ice under my knees, the confused, throbbing metal contraption entrapped in my hand, my own invisible hands slapping me in the chest as they return to me. My head hurts, so much. There is a rush of air passing my lips; I think I'm screaming.

"KID!?"

I can't breathe. I'm drowning in myself. The darkness is threatening to engulf me completely, and I'm tempted to let it do so – if only to stop the pain.

_A red moon shines over the snowy landscape._

"_If only she wasn't-"_

"_Shame, really. Such a pretty little girl…"_

Wha—I… No!

_I'm sitting next to a campfire, looking up to people arguing, people so much taller than me._

"_There's no hope for people like us."_

Kurogane. Is that Kurogane I've just seen fall in front of me?

What just happened? Is he hurt? How do I not know this?!

No time for drowning, I can't let the darkness take me. They are still here, they still need me. I can't leave them at a moment like this.

A shard of memory - a memory that isn't mine – hits me.

_They found a boy in the valley. Ripped apart._

_That's what they came to tell us. _

"_I'll go!" I offer, already ready to depart. "I'll make sure it really was a beast that did it."_

"_Wait," the king says._

_Hinata is climbing up a stone wall, trying not to fall on the pile of corpses beneath her. Above, Hisho's voice calls out her name, over and over again, like a prayer. They throw Etsuko and Kaede's bodies in the pit, bloodied and frozen._

_Frozen. My fingers are frozen, and I burry them in the pits of my arms to keep them from falling off as I determinedly trudge along. Any sane person would light a fire in a storm like this, but there's no time for me to stop. _

I hold my head, but manage to pull myself to a crouching position. It hurts so much more when I'm moving… but I have to hold. I have to hold for them.

"_Even more people have died!" I was hoping to inspire some reaction of horror in the king, but instead I am met with coolness._

"_Is that so?"_

"_I suspect the beast isn't even from Celes!" I don't understand why he doesn't share my alarm, why he isn't running around the mountains trying to find clues, hints, anything that will point to that beast. _

_The sound of a bowstring being pulled back, then released. "Aisha, run!" My feet crush the berries I've let fall around me, staining the grass and leaves crimson._

_Anthony is lying in a valley, his body ripped to shreds. His tear-filled eyes accuse me of letting go of his hand too soon, of letting him run off alone like that. What was I thinking? _

"_No, that is not the case," the king says, still so calm. "It has always lived in Celes."_

_I don't understand. _

The world is so blurry, but I can still make out their forms. They are still fighting. Still fighting. Syaoran-kun is hurt and I am drowning and still they fight like children!

Too much. There is too much in my head. Too much in my body. Too much of me, I can't contain it all. I'm too small for this universe I feel moving inside me, and it hurts.

"_You run, Aisha. When you are old enough, then you will be wise enough to fight. Not now."_

"_But…!"_

"_Run, child! Out of here!"_

_I run through the courtyard, bodies strewn around me. One of them is a young woman, who seems barely younger than me; she has freckles on her face. I try not to look at her; she fills me with more pain than the others, something I can't explain. Determined, I push the doors open. The beast will die. _

"_Run, love, faster than you've ever run before."_

_Kento is standing over a pile of bodies, a twisted grin on his… no, wait. This is wrong. He isn't…_

_Strong hands pull me out of the water. "Not like that, silly fish! Don't fight the current; if you ever get pulled again, just let it carry you down into safer waters, alright? You scared me."_

_Ashura-ou is standing over a pile of bodies, a twisted grin on his face. I freeze, shocked into immobility. He can't be._

_He raises his hand, and blood streams down onto the ground. "Then you must murder me," he says._

_Pain. Too much running. Too many answers. No time left to breathe._

_Flaming river through my body. No more strength left to fight the current._

"_It's foolish to fight the river."_

Fai explodes, and so do I. I can't fight it anymore; I can either forfeit to it and let it drown me, or let it carry me until it runs out.

"_It's because you were born." _

"_The guilty must be put to death!"_

"_ASHURA-OU!"_

The surface of the world is stripped bare, and suddenly I can see everything. The air, the water inside the ice, the energy spouting out of Fai's body like from a fountain, Syaoran behind me – awake now, although barely, - Sakura at the bottom of a pool before me with a feather, the scratch on Kurogane's cheek, the shadows of their thoughts moving just beyond my reach. My own energy, my own magic, spreading out to all of that in a fit, uncontrollable and devastating. The ground around me shatters, and tongues of flames dance on the ice. I am open, and the flood is pouring out.

Panicked, barely thinking, I construct a barrier between me and the rest. I can't hurt them, but I can't stop it. I can only contain it, inside of this little bubble of world I have claimed as my own. It is bigger than me, and this eases the pain a little.

"FAI!"

This time, the scream is real. I can see, without really looking, the boy – nothing but a decoy, a shell - fall, split in half by Souhi. Kurogane pins Fai to the ground, and I think his eyes turn my way for a second.

"I told you before!" he yells. "I don't care what happened in your past! And if you're trying to tell me…"

"_Aisha, Aisha, come pick berries with me!" I follow, dread inexplicably filling me at the sight of the thick forest around us._

"It doesn't add up! If your magic gets stronger the more you use it, then you'd want to use it as much as you could! The stronger you are…"

_The fire licks at the sky, reaching for the red moon at its top. I can see plainly the wooden structure giving way under the flames, but it's what I don't see – who I don't see – that hurts. _

"'…this pattern will prevent your powers from growing…'"

"'_Wishing well atop the hill, tell me whose heart shall bear my will…'"_

No! I have to stay awake. That's what I've been holding on for. I have to get a hold of myself and help them.

Just like that, another memory hits me.

"_When the time comes, my powers must grow stronger than yours. You see, your curse will break after its first use, and the one you will kill at that time… must be me. But you needn't ponder over that. You needn't remember…"_

"Are you really going to keep this farce going? You know this is already ripping at the seams, so why show us the past?" That is Kurogane. I can't stand to raise my head anymore, so all I can recognize is the voice, but that is enough.

"I only want my wish to be granted, Fai" the king replies, with a voice like honey. "You promised, didn't you? That you would destroy everyone who brought death to this country, no matter who that person may be."

_The king stands atop a pile of bodies. "I see you've allowed Celes' people to escape to another country," he says. I don't understand what I'm seeing. A sad smile lights his lips. "My magic is such that the more people I murder, the more powerful my magic becomes," he explains. "And soon, it shall be even stronger than yours, Fai."_

"_Why?"_

"_I have no answer for that. But it is something I knew would happen, someday." For the first time, I think I truly understand anger._

"_And that's the reason you brought me here?" I yell. "So that when the day came, I would be there to murder you?"_

_Now the walls are scared with cracks; one pillar is fallen over the walkway._

_I can't do it._

"_I taught you that spell," he says when he sees the runes circle him. "Magic intended to put one to sleep. You know that no magic will last forever; one day I will awaken. You are only putting off your promise for a little while," he says, and I hear the pain dripping from his voice. But I can't do it._

_He smiles as his eyes close. "The thing that will inflict you the most pain will always be your own kindness, Yuui."_

_The name drops on my heart like a heavy stone._

_I put his body down in the pool, with Fai. I cannot heal, despite all my power; I cannot save him. I can only wait and hope._

_And flee. _

I can barely see my fingers on the ground, although I know them to be about only an inch from my nose. The pain sears me again, like a knife being plunged repeatedly in my skull, right behind my left ear. Even with more space, it isn't enough. It wants me to let it free, but I can't do that; I won't allow it to overcome me either. Still, I feel my barrier, my shield, my inverse armour crack, just along the base.

"I can't do it. It doesn't matter what your motives were; you were the first person to treat us with anything approaching kindness. I can't kill you." I know this voice: Fai.

"Very well…" Magic, water shooting up, and then Sakura. Closer. Probably out of the pool now. "Then I shall continue what I started."

"SAKURA-CHAN!" Collective cry.

Feeling my shield fall, I do the only thing I can think of; push it, all of it, back into my body. I scream again; I can't help myself. It's like forcing the blade back into the wound that once held it.

They talk, but I can't for the life of me understand what they say. There is magic, Fai's magic, first sent out away from me, then set out as a wall right in front of me. I can't be bothered to think long enough to question why. The only thing that matters is the pain.

With a final cry, I force it all back into my chest.

With a startling crash, my shield fails. Cold arms grab me, trap me, crush me despite my struggles. It takes me a few seconds to understand that the ice itself is attacking us.

"Raitei Shourai!"

Ice splinters fly everywhere, and one of them nicks me on the cheek. I fight against the long limbs wrapping themselves around me, but I can't even see their shapes. I can't let my magic out now, not while the danger is too great to hurt everyone else. All I can do is thrash at random, and soon my movements are too limited to do even that.

Confusedly, I make out a shadow – I think it's Kurogane – fall to the ground.

The world comes into focus just enough so that I can see the blood coming out of his stomach. 

_A sword ripping me apart, the snow turning red under me. I scream, she laughs._

My right arm forces itself free, and I use it to claw at the ice, trying to scramble out of its cold embrace. All I know is that Kurogane is hurt, and I have to get to him.

"Raitei Shourai," I hear, and the ice around me shatters long enough for me to clamber out and fall on the ground.

Just in time for the explosion.

A huge ball of blinding light, its breath strong enough to push me to the ground had I not already been on my hands and knees.

I try to crawl to the shape which I know to be Kurogane – I don't know what I can do in my state, but there's bound to be something to be done - but my hand slips and I fall forward. To my surprise, a hand catches me just before my face strikes the ground.

I look up, to see a face I recognize even through this veil of constantly shifting mist: Fai.

"Take Sakura-chan," he is saying to the shadow at my left, handing him a human figure that must be the princess, "and…"

"No," the boy replies, reaching out to him. "Don't…"

I'm confused. What is Fai about to do that he shouldn't?

The answer comes to me when he stands, and starts to walk directly towards the center of the explosion.

Oh no, he is not.

No.

No, no, no, no.

My fingers slip against my belt until they find my knife.

Why does it hurt so much to stand?

"I have never been kind-hearted," Fai begins. He hasn't started yet, which means I still have some time to get to him. "All I've ever been is weak! And it's that very weakness of mine that brought us to this point!" I can't help a scream from leaving my lips as I force myself to my feet. I have to stumble back until I find an icy structure to lean on. "Now, let's end this, your majesty. Let's grant your wish, and mine as well."

I struggle to make out anything in the resulting blast.

And when the dust settles, I know instinctively who is standing over the other with a hand around his throat. My heart sinks: I was too late.

"I explained it to you, didn't I?" the king's voice reaches me. "The more I murder, the stronger I become. And it seems you've lost one eye already."

"Raitei…" Syaoran-kun starts, but almost immediately something pins him to the ice wall behind him. Ice shards, probably; it always seems to be ice.

I squint, and force the world to clear. I could let it out, I think. All I need is to catalyze it, give it a direction. Establish a link, and only let it out by one crack. I don't need words, and he won't be expecting anything out of me. I could take him by surprise, long enough to override him.

Or just long enough so that I can get to Kurogane, and Fai can run.

That is all I am thinking about when I let it out: I am only shield and distraction, nothing else.

The fire runs up to Ashura-ou like lightning, and the force of his shield is enough to make me stagger back. I hold on to my assault, however, and even manage to take a few hesitant steps towards Kurogane. I have to get to him before the king overpowers me.

There's a chuckle. "Still determined to give me that challenge, aren't you? I thought I'd made sure you'd stay out of the way." I say nothing; I can barely see where I'm going, but still I continue to walk to where Kurogane is. I'm not planning to win this fight - I'm just trying to buy some time.

Then suddenly, Ashura-ou retaliates and I am forced back behind a shield. Still, I wasn't fast enough, and I can't help a cry as his magic singes my palms.

"Aisha!"

My head is too cloudy to do anything more than shield myself blindly and hope to get to Kurogane soon on my wobbly feet. That's why, when the attack comes at me from the side, I am completely taken by surprise.

Silently, I pray that Fai has been able to get away.

The blast sends me flying across the air, and my head hits something hard.

The world – as though it wasn't confusing enough as it is – starts spinning, and black spots begin to hinder my vision just as well as the mist.

I do, however, get a glimpse of Fai – still being held down by Ashura-ou's iron fist.

"_What do you want me to do, Kazue? Everywhere I turn, there's a reminder that she could get us killed! Do you want me to just stand by and watch?"_

"_Would you like me to kill our own child?"_

_I trip on a root and fall in the cold snow. Without a sound, I reach up for a trunk or a branch to help me up, and haul myself to my feet. I have to keep moving. Always moving._

_He's not moving anymore. Although I knew he wouldn't be moving the next time I saw him, I still cry out at the absence of the ebb and flow of his chest._

I've found Kurogane, I don't know how. But my hand is grasping his sleeve, and I struggle to push myself up to his wound.

"_Close your eyes, Aisha! Don't look! Don't look!" But I can't stop looking, even though I want to turn away. "It's going to be alright, Aisha!" But I know it won't be. I am a child, but I am not stupid. Nothing is going to be alright._

_When it's finally over, I close my eyes and press my fists against my ears._

"You've always wished for an ending, racing towards the end of your life hoping to follow your precious brother to death. Even more so after you learned of my wish. However, you refuse to die, because you must bring Fai back to life." There is laughter in that voice, and I feel anger flooding me again. A spell of dizziness forces me to pause before I reach for Kurogane's side, searching half-blindly for the blood to slick my fingers.

"Everything… is going to be fine…" I whisper.

"And yet, despite that, the reason you tried to kill yourself along with me is for the sake of these people. Thus if I were to murder them… your ensuing rage might be enough to defeat me."

I pull my hand away hurriedly. He moved, slowly but distinctively. He's still alive…!

Syaoran-kun! The king's words catch into flames in my mind. And Syaoran-kun is pinned down!

And then there is movement, in the corner of my eye and under my hand. Almost simultaneously, so fast that I feel my head reeling, ice shards as big as my arm dive for Syaoran-kun and Kurogane dashes forward with Souhi in hand.

The ninja interposes himself between Syaoran-kun and the icy projectiles, which explode before they reach either of them. On Kurogane's forehead, I can make out a glowing circle. It's almost like there's…

"A protective seal?" I hear Ashura-ou say, without much surprise in his voice, before Kurogane dives towards him. By the time I turn my heavy head around to see, Souhi is already sticking out the king's back.

There is a moment, where it seems the entire room is holding its breath.

Then Ashura-ou speaks, calmly. "Remove your sword," he says. Kurogane hesitates. "Remove it!" This time the words clap like an order in the wide hall.

Softly, with a sound like silk, Souhi slips out of Ashura-ou's chest. Immediately the king begins to falter, and I see his hand slip from Fai's throat.

"_Don't you want to know, sweet abomination? Know what it feels like to die?" She turns the blade, and the pain starts again. "I can show you…"_

"You mustn't shed tears for one such as I…"

"_Promise me you won't cry. No matter how much you want to, don't cry. Please. You can look away if you want, I won't mind. Do it for me."_

I can't make out the rest of Ashura-ou's speech, although whether this is because he is whispering or because reality is faltering again, I don't know.

All I know is that he falls, and that Fai is crying.

And that my head hurts so, so much.

"Sa…Sakura!"

It's become too hard to turn towards the sound, but I do see a human shape shooting up from the pool before us. Confusedly, I think that it must be the feather. But of all the things that could have been down there, why a feather?

"Fa…ai… But how…"

There is light, an explosion of it, and a feather comes out although I still don't understand how I knew it was there.

Another memory that isn't mine assaults me, and I whimper.

"_Choose! You or the other one!"_

"_Let Yuui go."_

_Fei Wong Reed smiles at Fai. "The one below has said that you should be set free. Even so?"_

"_Fai can die. Let Yuui go!"_

_The smile gets wider. "You are offering me your own life?" _

"_Promise me Yuui will get out of this valley!" His eyes don't falter for a second. Clearly he doesn't care one bit about what the other is saying; he just wants his wish granted._

"_All right. The child below will leave."_

_Fai turns to touch the stone sill of the window beside him. "I'm so sorry I couldn't go with you Yuui," he says, hauling himself up and through the bars. "But please, try to live free!" And he takes a shaky step into the emptiness._

I am back to the throne room of Luval castle – or so I think. It could be anywhere, really, given what I can make of the place. Anywhere with ice underneath me.

There is another light, this one softer, and gone in an instant. I hear Kurogane's voice ring across from me.

"Let him rest!"

I open my eyes, and see Sakura floating in the air with something… something small, and constantly getting smaller.

"_Ashes to ashes, isn't that what they say, little sorceress?"_

"We… we have to get out of this world, quick!" I hear Syaoran-kun say.

There's a flash of light from where Fai should be, and then the lilac magic is everywhere, like a net around us. I spot dark shadows fleeing under me, and force my head up. The shadows are all around us, black swirls curving up over us like a dome. Exactly like a cage.

And then the world starts shaking.

I scream, startled, searching in vain for a sure footing around me. The shaking makes my brain rattle in my skull, and I grab my head in an effort to stop the nausea.

"Kid, are you alright? Hey! What's going on?"

_Just give in_, my body tells me. _Sleep. Let the darkness take you, and it will all go away._ But how am I supposed to sleep now, while it seems like the world is collapsing around us?

Two strong hands under my arms, hauling me up to my feet. "Alright kid, listen up. Over here, steady. You're fine." There's doubt in that last sentence, but I ignore it. I open my eyes, to see Kurogane slowly guiding me towards Fai and the center of all this.

"What's happening?" he yells to the mage, who is still staring blankly ahead.

"It's the second curse," I hear him say. "The world is closing, by my magic."

"What the hell does that mean?" the ninja yells again, clearly out of patience.

"We won't be able to leave this place."

It takes me a few seconds to understand what that means – and in that time, Kurogane's already grabbed Fai's arm and pulled him up towards us.

"Then we're getting out of here!" he says.

"It's no good…" Fai pants. "It seems… I'm not becoming stronger the more I use my magic after all. Actually, it seems the more I use my magic, the closer I get to death."

_Blood splatters on the floor. It could be anybody's blood, but I find myself hoping it isn't mine._

"Mo… kona?" I suggest, still clutching my head. If we're to get out of here, then the fur-ball is our best bet, isn't he?

"Mokona can't! Not in here!" the shrill voice replies from out where Syaoran-kun and Sakura must be.

"I still… have some power left," Fai says. "Syaoran-kun, don't let go of Sakura-chan or Mokona!"

"What are you doing?" Kurogane asks. At that moment there is a deafening crash, and I see the cage of shadows crush the walls of the room around us as it closes in.

"Getting out of here," Fai answers, and draws a few runes in the air. They leave to go towards Syaoran-kun, and then the mage draws some more, which come and twirl around Kurogane and I. I can't see what happens to Syaoran-kun and Sakura, but the runes around us simply explode after a few seconds, pulling us apart. Without Kurogane's support, I fall to my knees.

"What happened?" Kurogane yells.

"My magic…" Fai is saying, holding a bloody glove to his mouth. "It's not enough." I can't discern the expression on his face, but I can hear the utter panic in his voice.

"Can… I help?" I ask. The shadow cage is close now, too close to my liking.

Fai looks at me. "Do you think you can do it?" Painfully, I shrug. "I don't have time to show you how, so you'll have to try it by yourself."

"Do you think she can hold it for the three of us?" Kurogane asks. I don't see Fai's reaction, because I'm already trying to concentrate on the nearest side of the shadow cage.

I open a crack, just a tiny crack for my magic to seep through. Finding Fai's patterns is easy, but deciding what to do with them is harder. The magic is woven so tightly I can find no holes to slip through to the other side. But it's coming close fast, and I have no time to search for long, so I do the first thing I think of: I fashion my magic into a beam as thin as a needle, and jam it into the shadow cage.

It feels like someone punches me in the gut when it goes through, forcing itself through with the tiniest of openings, like a needle through fabric. I grit my teeth and widen the crack a little bit more, straining not to let it blow open. My needle grows, pushing the shadow cage away as it does. Fai's cage is strong, and I struggle to repeal it as far as I do without letting my shield burst. My chest feels like it's being constricted by a giant hand, and the sledgehammer is still pounding on my head.

Still, I manage to leave a vaguely human-sized opening in front of me, leading to the world beyond. For a moment the edges stabilize shakily, and then Fai's magic pushes back, hard. I yell as the hole closes and I rush to get my magic back behind my wall as soon as I can. God, why does it hurt…

There are voices, but I can't understand what they're saying until one of them rises close to my ear.

"Try it again," Kurogane says, clasping my shoulders.

"Can't…" I pant, "not any… longer than that…"

"You'll hold it long enough this time, the mage said so."

It hurts just to stay awake, yet I believe him. Now that I know, I just need to put a little more power behind it… I make the needle again, and force it through. Just as I've managed a decent opening, something grabs me by the armpits and shoves me forward.

"_Out_," I hear Kurogane say as I go through to the other side. I feel the opening close behind me as my concentration flickers, and scream. No, no, they are not staying in there, they're not…

The bastard lied to me.

_He said he would come and get us, but he never did. Now I'm staring at his body on the ground, and his crumpled-up, bloody hand, the ring at his finger, powerless to save him. Or maybe, I think, maybe he didn't want to come back down and get us, maybe he didn't want to be saved. Maybe all that mattered was saving the rest of us. _

There is nothing on the outside, only a blood red light. I float in the light, crying, reaching for the shadow cage, now barely big enough for the both of them. Syaoran-kun, at my right, yells something and I see a small dot land on the bars of the cage. Upon its contact, the surface of Fai's barrier bubbles up and pops, leaving an opening sufficient for them to pass. Immediately, I see Kurogane's shadow grab Fai's arm and start pulling him through. The ninja passes easily enough, but stops before Fai can follow. I see him pull on the mage's arm, but still Fai does not move.

"FAI!" I don't understand; why can't they both get out?Could it be… could it be that because Fai is the cause of this, he can't leave? Or is the charm not strong enough for two people to go through?

No, Fai can't die, he can't die, we can't leave him here, I…

I see a flash of steel, and something falls through the portal and into the cage. And there's blood, even I can see it, too much blood than should ever come out of a human body, gushing out of Kurogane. From roughly the place where his left arm should be.

Should be. The obvious hits me, and I keel over with nausea.

_It's a head, flying through the air and landing at my blood-stained feet. I recognize the dark, curly hair._

It's an arm, not a head, it's not his head! I can barely breathe, from the pain and the tears and the panic.

Kurogane pulls Fai out with his remaining hand, and I feel Mokona suck us into another world. I struggle to regain control of my lungs as the winds take us into darkness. I thought after this we would be safe, but we're not. Too much blood, there was too much blood…

I land roughly on my hands and knees, and immediately search around me for the ninja. I find him, right beside me, and press my hands to his wound.

"Listen!" I yell, crying. "You're going to live, you bastard! I won't let you die, you hear?" I hear someone else sobbing next to me. "It's going to be fine," I say, softer now, "he won't die…" I have to say it, or else I might not believe it.

There's a sudden eruption of noise all around us, and hands try to pry me away from Kurogane. I scream and fight them off like a wildcat, throwing myself against his body. I am trying to keep him alive, can't they see that? Still, they try again, and I panic.

I allow my shield to break, and the resulting burst quickly throws everybody around me to the ground. Winds rise all around us, and I feel warmth on my hands as flames sprout there, quickly spreading to my entire body. They don't burn me though, and when I put my hands back to Kurogane's arm socket, they don't seem to arm him either.

"Aisha!" someone screams. I feel the whirlwind get stronger and stronger with each passing second. I don't care anymore, I don't care, I just want Kurogane to live, please, that's all I ask for.

"Don't worry," someone says calmly, a voice I don't immediately recognize. How did she get here with all the wind?"Kurogane will not die."

Startled, I look up to see this woman who can walk through my magic. Too fast, I think, because the world reels out of control before disappearing completely.


	49. Thrice-marked - Part 1

**DISCLAIMER: For once, I actually own this :P**

**Sooo... double-whammy because of overly long chapter? Heck yeah! XD**

**I think I might have made this too complicated. Please message me any questions you have about this, and I'll try to make it simpler :S Enjoy!**

**XxX**

Shadows dance around a fire, their long limbs carving out the light to make place for darkness. The drums beat out an intoxicating pattern as they go, round and round, like supernatural beings inviting you to join their unholy dance, like wolves gathering for the kill.

The fire is their god.

The drums get faster, faster, like a heartbeat, over and over, obsessive, incensed, furious, bloodthirsty, and the dancing follows. The shadows cry and howl in excitement as one of their own is dragged to the fire. She is fighting, frightened, trying to escape their reaching hands, but there are so many of them and only one of her. Their movements become sharper, faster, as the drums reach their paroxysm.

Silence. The drums have stopped. The world stops breathing.

And then, shattering the silence like a masse to a mirror, her last scream sends a flight of black birds soaring towards the orange moon. One by one, joining her, the shadows start howling their savage joy as they watch the dark form of a young girl disappear in ashes, swallowed by the fire.

XxX

I'm sitting on a log, cross-legged, looking intently at a blade of grass like only a four-year old girl can. I'm jealous of Rover. Just now, he was talking to me again, like any sixteen-year old boy talks to five-year old girls.

"You have no idea what you're missing," he had teased, spinning around to enclose all the clearing in his embrace. "Their song is the most beautiful sound. You really haven't lived until you've heard the plants sing." His face was open and blissful, like only Rover's face can be. Rover's my best friend, but sometimes he makes me wish I wasn't the only child in the caravan.

"Oh yeah?" I had replied then. "Well, can you see fire dance?"

"Silly, everyone can see fire dance," he had said, laughing. I had pouted and crossed my arms.

"Not the way I can," I had said. I've asked, and I know this to be true. No one can see the shapes of animals and humans dance in the fire like I can, and no one can understand the stories they tell, except maybe Gran, but she doesn't talk about that. But Rover was right; everyone can see fire dance, one way or another. And so this is why I am staring at that blade of grass, praying for it to offer me a whimper, a croak, something so that I can tell Rover that I can hear plants sing, too.

XxX

Gran is sitting in a corner of the wagon, churning a cauldron of thick, smelly soup. Her face is battered by the winds and the sun, after living on the road all her life. No one knows exactly how old Gran is, but she once told me she was older than the grand trees in Caldor forest. "Why, by the time I was your age, they were but seeds planted in the ground." I don't think I believe her, but it's still a good story. I want to be just like Gran and travel all over the world in the caravan, and discover new places and new things. And of course, I'll bring Rover with me, and we'll have dogs to hunt and one horse to pull the wagon and another horse to ride beside it. And Rover will ride, and I will guide the wagon through the roads, and if I'm lucky my face will become as tattered and brown as Gran's. Some people, especially in the rich cities, say that Gran is ugly and scary; but I love her face, because to me it reads like a map of all the places she's seen and all the people she's met. And her eyes are beautiful, shiny and alive like deep ponds with lots of fish underneath.

"Now then, soup's ready," Gran calls, handing me a wooden bowl of her spicy soup. Another thing I want to do when I travel all over the world is to find where Gran's soup comes from. I know it comes from one of the southern countries, because she's told me as much, but nobody I've met so far is able to make the same soup, and she refuses to share the recipe. She said that once I'm older she'll tell me.

"Gran, you said you would show me again today," I tell her between two sips of soup. She scans my face for a moment, then sighs and puts her spoon down.

"I suppose I can't rival with that memory of yours," she says with a tender smile, then walks up to an oak chest in a corner of the wagon. She rummages through it for a few seconds, and I stand on my toes, eagerly. When she pulls it out carefully, I have to tell myself to calm down and kneel on the floor again, feet neatly tucked under my legs, like Mama taught me. Then Gran lays the golden coat on the ground, and like every time she lets me see it, she begins to speak.

"This is my most treasured possession, after you and your mother," she begins. "It has escaped the Burnings, but only because I was lucky enough to have hidden it." I nod solemnly, and she smiles. It's not the first time she's told me this, although I don't fully understand it. But I pretend to, and when she mentions the Burnings I make my face go serious, like the grown-ups do. "You can touch it now," she tells me, and I forget my composure. My fingers run excitedly up and down the golden thread. Gran's face is solemn now. This is a coat she received when she was my age, and it is the most beautiful thing anyone in the caravan has ever seen. I press my pudgy hand on the red and orange flame near the collar, then on the green and golden leaf on the other side. If we had lived in the old times, Gran says, I would have my own coat by now, embroidered with a flame, a flowing river and a swirl of wind. I don't know why now is different than the old times, but I know Gran is the only one in the caravan with such a coat. Sometimes I wish we were in the old times, before the Burnings, so that I could have a golden coat like Gran's, with a silver woven belt. I tell myself to ask Rover about it, if his Mama once told him he'd have a coat too if we were in the old times. And I wonder what changed after the Burnings, to make people stop wearing golden coats.

XxX

"Rover, does your Mama ever talk to you about the Burnings?" I'm sitting on the bench at the front of Rover's family's wagon, and he's sitting next to me with the reins in his hands. We're scouring the plains of Heroa, so the horizon is covered in low hills and no trees.

"What?" Rover asks, turning to me, surprised. His hands accidentally tug on the reins and the horse stops abruptly, sending a series of curses flying down the caravan line. Hurriedly, Rover clucks the horse forward, and we are moving again.

"Why would you want to know about the Burnings?" he nearly whispers, although no one is close enough to hear us. The wagon behind us is empty.

"I... well, Gran always talks about the Burnings like it's a bad thing, but... I really don't know why. She never tells me what it is," I answer. I don't understand Rover's reaction. He's always so open and ready to talk to me, even about things the adults never talk about. But now his eyes are darting from side to side, as though he's afraid of one of the riders catching up to us and hearing our conversation.

"We don't talk about the Burnings," he finally says nervously. "Not when we're so close to villages. Not even inside the wagons. Do you hear me? If you want answers, ask your Gran. Don't ask me." He turns back to the road before I can ask some more questions.

XxX

We're nearing the town of Heros, and the caravan is bustling with excitement. Merchandise is washed and prepared, the performers are rehearsing as they walk, Gran pulls out her herbs and begins setting them into small pots. Mama's braiding my hair, although I'm much too excited to sit still in the wagon.

"Now, calm down," she tells me as her nimble fingers run through my hair. "You want to look your best when we ride into town, don't you?"

"Do you think that Gran will let me go with Rover today? He said that he's going to take me to see this big house where the Governor lives and he said it's bigger than five wagons put together!"

"Well, I think it's much bigger than that," Mama says, but her fingers start tugging nervously on my hair. I shake away.

"Ow, Mama!" I exclaim. Mama smiles, but she's sad. I think I might have said something to scare her, so I stop. "I'm sorry, Mama," I say apologetically. "My hair's pretty enough now, right? Are you going to do your hair?" I dig my fingers in her dark curls, but she pushes me away gently.

"Go find your Gran now," she tells me. "She'll need your help with her medicine." I don't think to question her. I run out, but someone else is climbing inside the wagon and I have to wait for him to get in. It's a man, tall and strong. His features are stark, his eyes gray, his hair ashy blond and tied back with a leather strip.

"Daddy!" I scream in bliss, throwing myself in his arms. He pushes me away without looking down, not gently like Mama, but Daddy's usually rougher. "Guess where Rover is going to take me today? To the Governor's house!" Now Daddy's looking at me with big eyes, and his face turns pale. I don't understand his reaction.

"That kid's taking her where?" he growls at Mama. She smiles tiredly.

"He's just taking her for a visit, sweet," she says calmly. "She wants to see the big houses."

"And Rover's not a kid! He's almost a grown-up!" I protest, insulted that my best friend could be spoken of with such a condescending tone. But Daddy doesn't listen to me.

"Why is she still here?" he says roughly, pushing me towards the exit of the wagon before I can protest.

"Be careful! Have fun!" Mama calls as I'm nearly pushed off the wagon. "I love you!"

"I will!" I call back. "I love you too! You too, Daddy!"

I don't hear an answer , but I'm much too excited to care.

XxX

Gran's tent is always the small red one. There's a lot of light in the front of the tent, where people line up to talk to Gran, but the back of the tent is always very dark. Gran says it's to keep some herbs from drying too fast.

I like helping Gran when we come into a city. I know where every herb is, all in their little individual bag or pot, so when she asks me to run to the back and get some sumac or some thimbleweed, I know exactly where to look. It makes me feel important, that Gran trusts me enough to go get the right herbs for her. She says that if you mix the wrong herbs together, it can be very dangerous, so I'm very careful to choose always the right ones.

When I bring her herbs, Gran will put them in a bowl and start grinding them into a powder. Sometimes the powder is rough, like buckwheat flour, and sometimes it's so fine that I can't help but sneeze when I'm standing next to her. Sometimes she adds water and mixes it all up into a paste. Then she puts the powder in a bag or wraps the paste in leaves and puts it in a small pot with a cap so that it doesn't fall out, and she gives the medicine to the customer. And then the customer pays her one, two, sometimes three bronze coins. Gran lets me count the coins at the end of the day. I like playing with them because they're so shiny, and the city is the only place where I can see coins. We don't use them in the caravan, and the others use them all up before we leave to buy food and fabrics and equipment. Sometimes they even buy a horse. I like horses, but I'm a little afraid of riding one.

I like helping Gran because you get to see a lot of people, too. There's city people and even country people who come to see her, and occasionally there'll be a rich person from the city, a noble one, mostly women. Gran always points them out to me. It's funny, because they all seem so nervous and they hide their pretty clothes under big cloaks that are still prettier than anything we wear. I don't understand why the ladies would hide such beautiful clothes. If I had clothes like that, like Gran's golden coat, then I'd wear it all the time and I'd want everyone to see it. Sometimes the rich ladies give us a silver coin, sometimes two. I like counting those especially. I know that one silver coin is equal to ten bronze coins, and one gold coin is equal to fifteen silver coins, but I've never seen a gold coin in my life.

Today though, the only person I'm interested in seeing is Rover. He comes to see us in Gran's bright red tent, hands in his pockets, whistling. I latch myself to his leg.

"Rover! Rover!" I yell excitedly. "Can we go visit now? Can we?" He laughs.

"Does your Gran still need your help?" he asks teasingly, looking at Gran. She smiles. I know they're just doing this because they know I'll get impatient, but I can't help it.

"I helped you, right Gran? You saw me, right? Can we go now?"

Gran laughs, throwing her head back. "Of course you can go," she says. "I've been doing this long before you were born, I'll manage fine on my own." Then she looks at Rover. "You'll take good care of my little one, won't you?"

"As always, Frei," Rover says before I grab his hand and pull him behind me. He lets me tug him through the whole camp, right up to the city gates. The guards let us pass, one of them even smiles at me. I smile back. Then I hear the applause coming from our yellow and blue tent and I stop.

"Wait!" I say, pulling Rover back. "We have to go see the acrobats!"

"But we see them practice all the time," he protests, digging his heels in the ground.

"Herminda said she was going to do something special today! She said we should go and look! And she said that if she sees us, she'll wave hello during the show!" Rover finally lets me drag him towards the tent, complaining all the way, but with a smile on his face.

XxX

The acrobats were amazing. Herminda did see us, peeking through the tear at the back of the tent that only we know about, and she waved. I waved back and she started laughing, in the middle of a back flip, and her partner laughed too, and then people were wondering why all the acrobats were laughing during the show. Only Rover and I knew, and we just smiled and pretended to be just as clueless as everybody else.

"Did you see it?" I ask him when we finally pass the city's gates. "Did you?" He nods, a twinkle in his eyes. While performing her Flower Dance, Herminda threw a handful of petals above her head like she usually did. Except that this time, instead of falling down right away, the petals stayed suspended in the air for a full minute, falling slowly while Herminda stayed motionless. And when they finally fell to the ground around her and she started dancing again, they formed words. I can't read just yet, but Rover said they mean 'beauty' and 'youth.'

"Herminda surpassed herself," he agrees. "Good thing there wasn't any soldiers around, because there would have been an investigation for sure."

"Why? I thought soldiers never came to the camp, unless we go into the city," I say. Rover shrugs.

"Sometimes they do. But they never do it unless they have a good reason. Like if someone stole something, or if..." he stops, looks down at me, shrugs again, and keeps walking.

"Or if what?" I ask, running to keep up to him. "Why would they go see Herminda if it's not to see her dance? Is it because of the flowers? Don't the soldiers like magi-" A firm hand gags me, and Rover swiftly pulls me in a side alley. We watch soundlessly as a troupe of soldiers walk past us, their purple uniforms dark against the bright colours of the market.

"Aisha," Rover says gently, but there's an edge of harshness in his tone. "We don't talk about that when we're around cities, okay? I thought you knew that." I shake my head, backing away from his grasp.

"But why?" I whine. "We're not allowed to talk about mag-" Rover's eyes stop me from finishing that word, but I continue on nevertheless, "we're not allowed to talk about golden coats or marks, we're not allowed to talk about the Burnings-"

"Aisha!" Rover practically throws himself on me, pinning me against the alley wall. He's kneeling down to my height now, his face barely an inch from mine, breathing loudly. I start shaking. He's scaring me. "Do you want someone to hear you? Is that what it is? You want to see what'll happen if the soldiers hear you talk about it?" His voice is higher, shaking, not like Rover's voice at all. And I realize that Rover's afraid too. "You don't want them to catch you, Aisha. Trust me, you don't. Because you know what happened during the Burnings? You really want to know? They didn't just burn books and coats and jewellery, Aisha. They burnt people, too."

XxX

_Fire. It dances around me like the dancers in Herminda's troupe. But fire is not my friend anymore. Fire is burning my skin wherever it touches it. Ripping away screams every time it does. My screams. _

_Fire is not my friend anymore. Has never been my friend. _

_Fire is killing me. _

XxX

I wake up with a small cry, soon chocked by tears. Mama is the first one to find me, and soon I am enclosed in the warm place between her arms. But I can't stop crying, even though I'm no stranger to nightmares. This one is new. I feel Gran's hand on my head, ruffling my hair.

"It's okay, honey. It's alright. Just a nightmare," Mama sings softly, rocking me. Gran snorts.

"Who told you that?" she asks suddenly, startling Mama, who turns to look at her. Gran's eyes are fixed on me. "Who told about those things, child?" she asks again, more gently. I don't know what to say. The images in my head won't leave, and I don't understand what Gran's talking about. I just want to bury myself in Mama's neck. The only thing I can think of chocking out is:

"Does it really hurt that bad when they burn you?" Mama holds me tighter.

"No one's going to burn anyone, Aisha. It was just a dream. It's alright."

"No, it wasn't just a dream," Gran says, inching closer to us. "It was a memory." Mama looks at her again.

"But... she never..."

"The ability to see things of the past in your sleep," Gran says softly, scratching my head. "Rare, but not surprising. The opposite of what dreamseers do. The memories can be your own, or..." she pauses for a second, sending a meaningful glance towards Mama, "they can be someone else's. Once a connection is made, everything is possible." Mama shakes her head.

"But you said... that she couldn't..."

"She is not a Seer. She can only see memories. Not surprising, with her powers," Gran counters calmly. "Things are passed down from generation to generation in this caravan; it's not unlikely that she handled something that belonged to the person whom this memory came from. Like I said, once a connection is established..." I don't really care about what they're saying. I just want to stay in Mama's arms until the images vanish from my head, until the screams stop echoing in my ears. Until I'm not too afraid of darkness to go to sleep.

"Mama," a voice says softly, but it's not mine. It's Mama, looking straight at Gran with piercing eyes. "You promised you wouldn't read minds without asking anymore," she says. Gran smiles gently, almost like a child caught red-handed in a jar of sweets, but who feels no guilt for it. Then, slowly, she takes her hand away from my head.

"So I did," she whispers, standing up. "It seems I can't rival with that memory of yours." She bends over Mama, kissing her forehead tenderly, then leaning over and doing the same to me. "You both need some sleep, my treasures," she says, and then she looks down at me with a mischievous smile. "And tomorrow, how about you give me a good reason not to curse that Rover boy?"

XxX

Today is the Summer Solstice. We are away from the cities now, in Lilac Valley, so there's no need to hide. Herminda and her troupe performed several dances: the Sun dance, the Flood dance, the Solstice dance, all the ones they're not allowed to perform near the cities. Then Herminda did her Drum dance, although that one isn't forbidden; she wears thin bracelets at her wrists and ankles, each of them covered in beautiful silver bells, she stands on four drums tied together with rope, and she dances. Her feet beat the rhythm while her limbs carve out the melody. The result is raw, bestial, and beautiful. It's a very difficult dance to master, but when I'm older I want to learn how. Maybe Herminda'll teach me. I wonder if Rover will look at me the same way he looks at her when she dances.

We listened to stories and ate a feast that Mama and the others prepared, and lit beautiful round lanterns when night came, and all dressed up in our best clothes. I was allowed to light up the lanterns, which I am never allowed to light anywhere else. Just our presence in Lilac Valley is celebration enough; we only come here once a year, either for Winter or Summer solstice. I like it better in summer, when lilacs bloom all over the hills and the wind carried their scent everywhere you go. The season is over now, but smells linger so much longer than images do: I just have to cup the wind in my hand and bring it to my nose to smell them. Rover can't do that, but I don't love him any less. He says he can still hear them sing though, even in winter.

Gran threw me out of the wagon tonight, telling Rover and Mama to keep me occupied. She doesn't think I heard her, but I did. I won't be sleeping in the wagon tonight either: Rover's Mama offered to have me sleep with her. I don't know what Mama and Gran are planning, but they pushed me away every time I tried to spy on them. I'm so excited I can barely stand still to listen to the stories that the others tell around the fire. Because tonight is the Summer Solstice and tomorrow I will be five years old.

XxX

I'm reluctantly pulled away from Rover when Gran calls my name. He was teaching me how to play the small Pan's flute that Mama and Gran carved for me. It's very pretty; it's made of carved bones and it makes the most beautiful sound, like a bird. Rover says it takes a lot of work – and sometimes a bit of magic - to get the sound just right.

"Aisha, go get some gilden grass in the back, will you?" she calls. With an exasperated sigh, I drag my feet to the red tent, ripping amused smiles from Rover and customers alike. Once the customer with the gilden grass leaves, a couple walks into the tent. Gran smiles at them and asks the woman to sit down on her chair. The couple seems impatient, but the woman wears that little smile that Gran told me to watch out for. There's always one or two of those when we stop in a town, women or couples who want to know about their unborn child. Her stomach doesn't seem very big, however; Gran says it only starts to grow after the third month.

"Will it be a boy or a girl?" the man asks, not bothering to explain anything. Gran smiles and kneels in front of the woman, placing her palms on her belly. I once asked Gran why she wasn't afraid that the soldiers would arrest her if she did this near the cities: with a mischievous wink, she told me that soldiers can't arrest you for being a soothsayer. "Besides, this isn't magic, it's superstition," she had added with a chuckle.

I watch with interest as Gran straightens up, dusting her robes. "I'm sorry," she tells the woman, "but it is too early. I can't sense the child's gender, only its presence." I can sense it too, if I concentrate; it's like the tiny ringing sound of a bell in the distance, buried deep in the woman's stomach.

At these words, the man's face grows red. "But we have to know, and with you blasted caravans following your own little schedule, you might not be back here in time!" he exclaims. The woman shrinks in her seat, placing her hands on her stomach. The man begins pacing the small area in front of the tent as Gran watches him calmly. "If it's another daughter, then I'll have nobody to help me in the shop, and I can't afford another useless mouth to feed! Every year I feel myself grow older, my muscles and bones grow weaker. I can't go on like this forever!" The woman has now folded onto herself so far that she looks like she's about to cry. Suddenly the man seems to notice me, standing behind the table with the bag of gilden grass in my hands. "Can't she sense it?" he yells, shooting his arm in my direction. "I want results, soothsayer!" I freeze, my eyes wide. I don't understand what he wants me to do, but I know I don't want to listen to this man. He scares me.

The air grows warm. Gran seems to grow taller than the man, squaring off her stances. Her eyes are throwing knives in his direction. "Leave," she orders, and her voice is a thunderstorm. He stumbles back, visibly frightened. Her fists are clenched in fury and now the smell of smoke slowly fills the tent. I can't be sure, but I think I see small flames dancing in her hair. The woman yelps. "Leave now," Gran says again, her voice cold and inflexible as ice. "Don't you dare threaten my granddaughter again, or you will pay for it dearly. And I'll be sure to tell the soldiers about your own little hidden... talent." Although benign, the second sentence carries even more threat than the first. The woman shrieks, looking pleadingly at her husband. He's started to sweat nervously, passing a hand over his forehead.

"You... you wouldn't..." he mutters, and even I can tell that he doesn't believe his words. "You have no leverage, everyone knows about your... your business." Gran seems to grow even taller, and the air is now scorching.

"You have a family, as I have," she replies calmly. "And don't doubt one second that I will do everything that is possible to protect them. The law isn't the only way to have justice." The man gulps, glancing at all the herbs around the tent. Shaking, he pulls out a leather pouch from his belt.

"I don't want your money," Gran says. "But if you don't leave soon, you'll see what it's really like to possess power." The man grabs his wife by the waist and pulls her out of the tent, but still throws a silver coin in Gran's direction.

"As a guarantee," he says nervously, then disappears. The waiting customers are peering curiously in the tent as Gran lets herself fall back in her chair, just where the woman was sitting only seconds ago. The air feels so cold now, and Gran seems so small in comparison. With a sigh, she puts her head in her hands. Hesitantly, I walk up to her.

"Gran..." I say softly, putting a hand on her arm. I don't fully understand what just happened, but I know that the man said something to upset Gran. I've never seen her so angry.

Gran sighs. "Oh, Aisha..." she pulls me closer. "I love you so much. So, so much."

"I love you too Gran," I say, confused. "But what happened? What was that man talking about?"

XxX

"He said what?" Dad's face is pale in the fire's light. Mama is holding me against her while Gran explains it again.

"There was a customer today, and he recognized Aisha's powers. I drove him away," she repeats calmly. "I don't think he'll be a problem."

"How do you know that?" Dad stands up. He seems furious and terrified at the same time. "How do you know he's not talking to the soldiers right now?" Gran looks up, and the gleam of the fire reflects in her eyes until I can't tell which one is feeding light to the other. Her lips narrow menacingly.

"I've told him exactly what would happen if he did," she replies serenely. I nod. Gran was so scary, even the adults were scared. "He knows we're both in the same boat." She sighs. "To think there was a time where people like us actually helped each other survive. Now we're denouncing each other in a desperate bid to stay alive."

"People like you!" Dad exclaims, pacing. I notice he's looking at me too. "I'm not a part of those God-forsaken magi! I shouldn't need to have this discussion! If she hadn't been born-"

"Love!" Mama sounds horrified as she blocks my ears, but I can still hear them. "Don't talk like that!" Dad looks down at us. The shadows from the fire make him look like some sort of dark spirit. I'm suddenly scared of him.

"And how should I talk, Kazue?" he asks sardonically. "Tell me if I should smile and pretend this child hasn't put us all in danger by her very existence, or even better, call her a 'blessing' like that senile mother of yours-"

"Enough!" It's Gran, her eyes shooting flames. I roll onto myself in Mama's arms, trying not to cry. I don't understand why Dad thinks I'm putting them in danger, but I've tried really hard to listen to all the rules that Mama and Gran have taught me. Wasn't that enough?

"All I'm saying," Dad pants, his eyes crazy, "is that all it would take is for one person like that man today, and we could all find our deaths. All because you gave birth to that-"

"I said enough!" Gran stands up. She seems ten times more menacing than Dad in the glittering firelight, like a fairy or a fire spirit, while Dad disappears in the shadows. I can't keep the tears any longer. I don't understand why everyone is screaming; all I know is that it's my fault, and I don't know what I did. "You want to know what you should do?" Gran enunciates slowly. "You should try to love that child. As any father should." Dad stares at Gran, then spits at her feet and runs off. Mama tries to reassure me, but I can't stop crying.

"Did I do something to make Daddy angry?" I ask between two sobs. Mama wipes my tears.

"Shh, no you didn't sweetheart. Daddy just had a bad day. It's nothing you did. Don't cry baby," she says soothingly, pressing me to her chest. But I don't believe her. I know it's my fault. Gran sighs and kneels beside us.

"Aisha, little bird, listen to me," she says gently, taking my hands in hers. "I don't want you to listen to people when they tell you you're not as good as them, or that you're strange or unnatural. Not even your father, do you hear me?" Her eyes, burning pits only seconds earlier, now remind me of warm pools in the summer. I muffle a sob and nod bravely. She smiles. "Good girl. You're special, don't you ever forget that. And no matter what all the other people think of you, you will always be the most precious thing to me and your mother." Her smile shines in the firelight.

XxX

I watch the burning wagon, not understanding. Why would they burn a wagon when we need them so much to travel? Beside me, Rover has frozen. I hear a woman screaming nearby, weeping in the snow. It's Mama. Someone is trying to keep her from running towards the wagon.

"Mama!" she keeps yelling, struggling against the man behind her. "MAMA!" For a second I wonder why she's calling herself, and then I remember that she's only my Mama. Her Mama is...

"Frei," Rover says softly, as though in a trance, before suddenly dropping all the wood we've gathered and running towards Mama, pulling me behind him. "Kazue!" he yells. "Kazue, what happened?" Mama is crying so much she can't answer, but Herminda turns to us with a grave face.

"They and lit fire to her wagon," she says painfully. "Kazue was washing clothes in the river and Aisha was with you, but Frei..." She turns towards the wagon. "We tried getting to her, but they knew what they were doing. The straw was wet with oil, there's too much smoke for us to do anything." My Mama is still screaming and crying, and suddenly I understand. I clutch Rover's leg with all my might. I don't want to understand.

"Rover," I say, my voice sounding so far away, "why isn't Gran coming out?" With tears starting to pool in his eyes, Rover looks down at me and swallows painfully.

"Aisha…"

"YOU!" I turn to see Dad come out of the shadows and Mama throwing herself at him, clawing at his face. "It was you! You told them to come here! You did this!" Dad pushes her away. His face is unusually pale.

"I did it for us, Kazue," he says strongly. "To protect us."

"To protect _you!_" Mama spits out, hitting him. "That's why you did it! In case they ever find out about Aisha; they'll know where it's from! They'll kill her and then me, but they won't touch you! Why would they look any further than my mother?!" She falls on the snow, wailing like a lost child. "Mama…!"

Dad doesn't move, but his eyes turn to me. The whole caravan is watching now, as his face contorts into a sardonic grimace. "Maybe if she hadn't been born I would still love you, Kazue," he says harshly, never taking his eyes off of me. I try to hide behind Rover; Dad scares me. Mama screams.

"Leave! I don't want to see you again! YOU MONSTER!" Herminda steps towards Mama and gently wraps her arms around her, looking up to glare at Dad. Most of the caravan is watching him distrustfully now. With a hard expression he disappears in the shadows, where he came from.

"Here, don't look," I hear Rover say as his strong arms pick me up, turning me away from the flaming wagon. He rocks me back and forth like a baby, just like Herminda is rocking Mama. Only then do I notice the tears falling on my cheeks. Gran isn't coming out of the fire. I sob.

"Why can't she come out, Rover?" I ask, feeling like my small heart is shattering. "Fire can't burn her, right? Why won't she come out?" His hand rubs my back in a motion that I know should be soothing, but he's doing it so hard it hurts. Another desperate sob shakes my body.

"Her own fire can't burn her, Aisha," he says, pain in his voice. "That's all."

"Then... then..." She could have pushed it away, or make it stop altogether. She could have stopped it. Fire listened to her. Fire was her friend. I don't get it.

"It's not that simple," Rover whispers softly, and I feel a single tear fall from his eye. I cling to him like I used to when I got hurt and couldn't walk home by myself. I feel like I'm the one burning in that fire instead of Gran. I want her to come back out and smile at me like she always does. But I know she won't. I'm not sure how I know. I just do. Just like in my nightmare. The Burnings.

"We have to leave," Doume suddenly says in his deep, clear voice. Rover turns to him. He stands tall in the circle of light, the only one who seems to know what to do. He looks down at Mama. "We're lucky they didn't come to search us as soon as they set the wagon in flames. Even now they're watching, and they'll be here soon. We need to move as far away as we can before they come back." He looks off to the burning wagon. "And if anyone asks, she was not a part of our caravan." His words are met with a painful silence. Doume presses his lips together and pats Mama's shoulder. "I'm sorry," he concludes. Then he straightens, squaring his shoulders. "We move out!" he announces, just like he does every time we lift camp. Suddenly shouts and orders are flying throughout the caravan, horses are being latched to their wagons, and frantic people run around to collect our meagre possession lest we leave them behind. If it weren't for our brightly-painted wagon blazing, reaching for the night sky, it would look just like any other day. And if it weren't for Rover's hand running up and down my back, I think I would crumble.

XxX

The pale lantern in front of me bounces with every step the horse takes, guiding us further and further up the old dirt road. Beside me, reins in hand and tight against the cold, Rover is completely silent save for a few clucks of encouragement to the horse. It seems the whole caravan is silent now, just painfully trodding along the way that Doume is showing us. Day and night we walk, with only our lanterns to light the way when the sun has fallen, drawing a luminous snake up the path. Slowly, rhythmically, we advance.

Attached to the wagon before us, the unbound horse that used to pull our home follows the pace of the procession. I haven't seen Dad since that night. Mama has made sure to stay clear of him, and I don't think that many people have spoken with him since. We live with Rover and his Mama now, but it's not as happy as I thought living with them would be; everything is sad now. Right now Mama is sleeping in the wagon and she thinks that I am too, but Rover let me sit on the bench with him and hold the lantern. I don't want to sleep. I'd rather look at that lantern bouncing up and down in front of me, thinking of the fire I can't see inside.

I miss Gran.

XxX

_A single eye opens, carrying emptiness and death in its iris. A small laugh rises from the silence. _

Found you.

XxX

Mama's arms are around me, pressing me close as I sob and sob and can't stop. Rover kneels in front of me, trying to force my eyes into his. His Mama is driving the wagon now.

"Hush," Mama whispers soothingly in my ear, trying to calm my thrashing. "It's alright, sweet. It's alright. Tell Rover what you saw."

"Please Aisha, it could be important," Rover says, his voice strained. I cry.

"She... there was an eye, and- she found me, she says she found me, Mama, don't let her catch me..." Rover's eyes widen and he stares at me, dumbfounded.

"Are you sure?" he asks, his breathing growing faster. All I can do is nod. Suddenly Rover stands up, yelling for Doume, for Herminda, for anyone that might hear him, then jumps out the back of the moving wagon to run up the line. Muffled, sleepy exclamations follow him. I roll back into my Mama's arms, terrified. She found me. The image of our burning wagon keeps dancing in my mind, with the other, older one of the firegod and the girl shattering into ashes.

XxX

"We go into hiding from now on," Doume's strong voice rings through the assembly, heralding silence from all. "That means we stay away from villages, cities and roads. We will go to the Widowalker's pass, where the soldiers can't reach us." Screams of surprise, then protestation make their way through the crowd.

"But that means leaving the horses and wagons behind!"

"How will we feed ourselves without business with the villages?"

"It's suicide to go to the pass in this season!"

"Listen!" Doume's gaze finds everyone that has spoken. "Little Aisha has been spotted by the Hunters. You all know what this means. If they find her they will also be finding us, and that means every one of us with magi blood will be in danger. So we must think of our survival first. We must disappear until the trail runs cold and they forget about her."

"And how long will that take?" I shudder as I recognize the voice rising from the assembly. "We all know the Hunters don't give up easily, especially not for someone like her. We all know they'd never let her go free for very long now that they've spotted her." A space has formed around Dad as he continues talking. He's paler than last time I saw him, and he looks skinnier too. "So this hiding you speak of could very well last her lifetime. By then, our children's children will be in their old age. And by then, don't you think the soldiers would have found a way through the pass?" Beside me, Rover has stiffened. Mama's knuckles are white, her lips pressed together and her eyes locked forward. As for Herminda, she glares at Dad with undisguised contempt. Whispers make their way up and down the crowd.

Doume speaks. "We can't afford to be divided on this. Either we protect our own – _all _of our own," he adds, looking at Dad, "or..."

"We could always hand her in," someone suggests. It's a smallish man, who usually plays the music for the dancers in Herminda's troupe. He becomes troubled under the masse's gaze, fiddling with his belt. "I mean, in a subtle way mind you, one that wouldn't send any eyes looking our way. We could maybe abandon her in the forest, so when they would find her they wouldn't find us..."

"And would you do it?" Doume asks calmly, designating me. "Would you be the one to abandon this girl to her sure death?" His eyes scour the assembly. "Would any of you be ready to do that?"

"I would." Everybody freezes as one man makes his way through the crowd, to stand in front of me and Mama. I look up to him, then grab Mama's leg. I'm scared.

Standing in front of us is my father, his eyes as cold as snow.

Mama holds on to my shoulders, clinging so tightly it hurts. "Don't even look at me or this child again," she snarls.

Screams of indignation explode from everywhere at once.

"He already betrayed his wife's mother, and now he wants to give in his own daughter!"

"What is wrong with you?"

"Get away from her!"

Suddenly hands are grabbing, pulling, pushing Dad away from us. People are screaming and cursing, calling out Gran's name like a prayer while Rover stands in front of us like a protective shield.

"Listen!" he yells above the clamour. "Frei died to keep her granddaughter safe! Are we allowed to do any less? Should we listen to the man who made it necessary for us to hide in the first place?"

"No!" Herminda answers, her voice bellowing like the winds across the plain. The word soon finds itself on everyone's lips. _No, no, no!_ Hands are hitting and chasing Dad away.

"Don't you dare come back!" I hear someone yell before Dad disappears from my view.

"Then we go to the pass!" Doume orders, opening his arms up to the sky. "For Frei, to whom we owe so much, we will give little Aisha a chance to live. To the wagons! We move out, tonight!"

XxX

Only three days until we reach the pass, or at least that's what Rover tells me. He's been tense since we've left for the pass, always pushing Doume and the others to go faster, looking over his shoulder every other minute, as though the Hunters were breathing down our necks. He's always worried about Herminda too, and constantly wonders aloud how she is doing, if the dancers in her wagon will keep her safe if we are attacked. He never wonders these things about me, or at least not in words, but I guess it's because I'm usually with him.

I don't really understand what's going on, why we have to leave or who these Hunters are. All I know is that if the woman with the eye catches me... she can't catch me. Mama and Rover won't let her catch me.

XxX

Two days until the pass.

All we do is walk and ride and walk and ride again. If we eat, it is on the wagons. The horses are restless from travelling so long without rest or adequate feed. Mama is anxious and won't let me out of her sight - she is worse than the horses.

I am sitting in a corner of the wagon, watching Mama weave a basket to pass the time. Usually she would hum a song or a funny little rhyme, but now there's no sound coming from her lips. She keeps glancing at me, as though she wants to make sure that I don't vanish into thin air. I try to smile and finger the fringe of my coat, bored. I'm not nearly as scared as I used to be. Doume says that we'll reach the pass and that once we get there, I'll be safe. That, and I haven't felt her get closer to us for two days now. Rover says that's a good sign, but that we should still be on our guard. He says that the Hunters don't give up easily, but he still said it was good, so I'm happy about that. We're going to reach the pass, and then I'll be safe.

There's a thud outside and Mama lifts her head, nervous. Her hand is already reaching for the small knife she uses to cut the weaving grass, when Rover pokes his head inside the wagon.

"No worries Kazue, we're just stopping for a bit," he tells her. "The horses can't go on to this pace without at least a break, and we've reached a brook where they can drink. Doume's decision." Mama nods, her hand slipping away from the knife, and I notice that her skin is white.

"Mama?" I ask. "If we stopped, can I go outside too?" I want to run, maybe swim in the brook Rover talked about, or pick berries and flowers. I want to do the things we used to do.

"It'll be alright, I'll stay with her," Rover offers, sending me a wink. I can't help but smile at that; Rover hasn't winked at me like that since our wagon burnt. He used to do it all the time, as our secret signal when he told Mama that we were going to pick firewood when really we were going swimming. He tried to get me to wink too but I couldn't do it very well, and he always ended up laughing at me.

"Stay close," Mama finally says, sighing and looking at Rover. I run and jump out of the wagon before Rover can catch me, so I land all wrong and roll into the grass, laughing. He chuckles too, and lifts me up in his arms.

"All right you little demon, why don't you come and help me water the horses?" he says, waving at Mama. "We'll be back in a few minutes." I climb onto his shoulders so that he can release our horse from the wagon, and then the next horse in the line, and then the next. He even takes our old horse, the one Gran bought a long time ago, before I was even born she said, and that now doesn't have a use anymore. I don't like looking at that one for too long, because he makes me think of Gran and I still miss her too much to think of her without crying.

There's a thin layer of frost over the brook, so I help Rover break it and he splashes me with the freezing water. I scream and splash him back, and we're both laughing as the horses find a place to drink. There are a lot of people near the bank, all of them with three or four horses drinking the clear water graciously. I take a bit into my palm and sip it, only to grimace as the cold attacks my teeth. I guess now is not a good time to go swimming.

"Hey Aisha, look over there," Rover calls out, pointing to a nearby bush. My heart swells when I recognize the dark droplets on its branches.

"Winterberries!" I cry out in excitement. Usually, if I pick enough, Rover's Mama makes us a delicious pie and we eat it with cream, but they're still yummy by themselves.

"Why don't you go pick some?" Rover suggests with a smile. "I'll stay right here and keep an eye on you." I nod hurriedly, already running for the bush. Soon my coat is full of juicy winterberries, and so is my stomach. "Leave some for me!" Rover laughs. I stick out my tongue at him.

"I am!" I reply, licking the juice from my fingers.

Suddenly, Rover's expression changes; his head snaps up as though he was startled by a noise and his eyes widen. He drops the horses' reins. "Aisha!" he calls, running towards me. I freeze.

I hear the sound of a bowstring being pulled back, so low that I know I shouldn't be able to hear it. Then there's someone pulling in a shaky breath somewhere beside me, on the other bank of the stream, and the clinking of metal against metal, so low...

"Aisha, run!" It's Rover, and I listen without thinking. All of my carefully picked winterberries fall to the ground as I hear the ruffling of leaves and a muffled scream of pain, just before an arrow shoots out from the trees, aimed blindly for the sky. "Run!" Rover repeats, pushing me forward towards the wagons. He whistles, and suddenly all the horses on the water's bank go into a frenzy; bucking and neighing, splashing into the water and running off in the forest while the men try to calm them. "Leave them! Run!" Rover calls to them. That's when the first splash of dark purple comes out of the forest, and I scream. It's a soldier.

Near the wagons, people are looking out to us curiously, as though trying to figure out what's happening. Rover keeps pushing me faster and faster, until I hear a whipping sound behind us and he falls on me with a grunt.

"What do you know, we caught another one," a voice says above us. Someone lifts Rover's weight from me and soon there's a pair of hands grabbing me from behind and throwing me up in the air. "She's pretty cute, isn't she?" The same pair of hands catches me. I look around; there's a soldier busy dragging Rover away, and several wrestling with Doume next to the wagons, and one is laying face down in the brook with blood flowing from his head and a horse standing next to him, curious. I can't find Mama. I scream. What's going on?

"Rover!" I cry, but his eyes are closed and he doesn't move. There's a small trickle of blood next to his temple. "Rover!" I struggle. For a second I think he's dead too, just like Gran...

Gran is dead.

The brook swells up like an angry sea, and the horses panic again. The wind is so strong that I can't even hear my scream.

Gran is dead because they burned her. Now they're going to burn me. Maybe they'll burn Rover too, I heard something about that, about how everyone like me was in danger...

It's a storm around us now, and I can't stop screaming. I think I hear the soldier's voice yell something over the wind, and someone puts a hand on my forehead.

The world goes dark.

XxX

When I wake up, everything is black. All I feel is the cold stone under my cheek and the water saturating the walls. I push myself up.

"Rover?" I call weakly, but I know there's no one here. I can't hear any breathing. Suddenly there's the clicking of heels in the distance, and I cower back to the floor. If I can't see anything, maybe they won't find me.

"'Most of them got away,'" a mocking voice sounds and echoes against the stone. "'It wasn't our fault, we were outnumbered!' Outnumbered! By a group of nomads! And their best catch is a little girl, a teenage boy and a couple of women!" He laughs. "'But there was so many Magi! We caught as much as we could!' Takes a lot of effort to catch a few heretics!"

"Shh! They'll hear you!" another voice says. The first voice laughs.

"So what if they hear me? It's not like they can do anything!" Somewhere beyond me there's a loud bang, like something beating against metal. "Huh? What are you gonna do about it?"

"Where are they?" My heart jumps in my chest; that's Rover's voice. It's far away, maybe too far for him to hear me, but at least I know he's there.

"Not gonna tell you!"

"Where ARE THEY?" This time, Rover's cry is accompanied by the piercing sound of twisting metal. The hurried sound of feet rushing away.

"What are you doing? You can't bust that door and you know it!" the first voice who spoke says, but I can tell he's scared. Rover's scary when he's angry.

"Tell me where they are!"

"Well it's not like it'll do you any good to know, you won't be able to save them anyway. Soon you'll be joining them for a nice campfire. You'll like that, won't you?"

"One of them's a child! Don't talk like that, you monsters!"

"Oh, and what about it? Surely there's nothing you could do even if we were to burn her right here in front of you, huh? Hey, that's actually a good idea. It'll teach you to talk back like that."

"What are you..."

"If you touch her I WILL KILL YOU! Aisha!"

"You're overreacting, calm down..."

"And how will you do that? All you can do is talk to puny flowers, and there aren't any of those down here!" There's a flood of light to my right, and I cower away from it. It hurts my eyes. "Come on kiddie, where are you? Gotcha!" the soldier's voice says just as a hand grabs me by the shoulder and pulls me up. I shriek.

"Rover!"

"Aisha! Get away from her!"

"Come on, let's go see your friend," the soldier says as he drags me away, into a stone corridor with lanterns shedding poor light from the walls.

"Rover!" I cry again.

"Oh, will you shut up?" And he slaps me. I don't scream, just stand there motionless as I feel the strike on my cheek. I've never been hit like that before. I don't know what to do.

"You're very pretentious, touching things that aren't yours," a cold, icy voice calls from up a staircase. The soldiers freeze, looking up with horrified expressions to the feet I can see descending towards us. The boots are black, pitch dark and shiny leather with a heavy brass buckle. "I've been looking very hard for this little one, and it wasn't so that someone else might damage her for me."

I can't move. I've heard that voice before, just once, but I'll never forget it. It's _her_.

The soldiers seem just as terrified as me, and let me go immediately. She is here now. She found me.

I scream.

"Aisha! Who is it? AISHA!"

"Oh, you poor thing," she says, leaning over me and grasping my shoulder, causing me to shriek even louder. "Hush, my little sorceress, everything's fine; I won't let those mean soldiers harm you any longer. It's just you and me now."

I don't remember how I got back into the darkness. All I remember is the sound of her laughter, the shape of the brass buckles on her boots, and the imprint of her hand on my throat.

"You're a monster, you know that," her voice whispers to me late that night, even when I think I'm the only one in the darkness. "A disgusting little beast. I will always be stronger than you, my little sorceress; I want you to remember that. I will always be the one to cause you pain. I will hurt you until you are completely destroyed."

I shiver, not quite alone in the darkness.

XxX

I don't know how long I stay in the stone room, with nothing but the small flame in my hand to give me light. Every once in a while someone will open a trap in the door and push a plate of food onto the floor. Sometimes Rover tries to talk to me, but it's so far he can't hear me very well if I don't scream. And if I scream, the soldiers come. The first time he just banged on the door and told me to shut up, but the second time, he threatened to come inside and teach me the meaning of pain. I'm not really sure what he meant by that, but I'm too scared to find out. I don't really think he'll hurt me, but I don't know for sure if they're all afraid of her.

_Her._

The flame in my palm flickers, so that just for a moment I am in complete darkness. She comes sometimes too. I had bruises everywhere, but she never goes any further than that. She says she's saving me for something, but I have no idea what that is. She talks to me, too. About how she's going to kill me, and Rover and all the others they caught, about how I'm just an abomination that has to be destroyed. I don't know who else is here, but I hope it's not Mama. I don't want anybody to die.

I hear the lock click, and jump. I push myself further in my corner, as if I was trying to become the stone. If I were stone, she wouldn't be able to hurt me anymore. I don't even know how to say how scared I am of her.

"Hello, little sorceress of mine. Did you miss me while I was gone?" It's her shadow in the doorframe. I shiver, so violently that my flame nearly goes out. I don't want her to touch me again.

I wince with every one of her steps, until she is right above me. Her hand goes out to me, but there's nowhere for me to pull back to, I'm cornered. Garnering the little bit of courage I have left, I throw my flame towards her face.

"Get away!" I yell, but what I see next stops me from trying to run towards the door. The fire never touches her. It illuminates her face for a second, before vanishing as though it had never existed. Her hand, as quick as a snake, grabs my wrist like a vise.

"Is that any way to great me?" she asks, her voice hard. Her fingers dig into my skin. "Well, _is it?_" I can't say anything; I can only whimper. There's a dangerous glimmer in her eyes. "The little sorceress likes to play with fire, is that it? Hmm? Well, I think I know just the thing to keep the little sorceress occupied tomorrow. How does that sound?" With every sentence she leans in closer to me, until we are nearly touching noses. She chuckles, and I start. When she laughs, it doesn't mean she'll be nice. "You can't defy me," she says, "not you. There's no point in even trying, dear monster mine. But since it seems you haven't learned that lesson yet, I believe I'll have to go a little harder on you today." She grabs my wrist with her other hand. There's a cracking sound, and a flash of pain going from my hand to my shoulder. I scream and try to move my hand, but it's just as limp as a dead fish. "There, there, you can heal yourself, can't you? That means I'm not even spoiling you for later by doing this." I'm crying now, staring at the dark purple flower blooming on my wrist. "Speaking of which, it seems you lost all the bruises I gave you the other day. Tut, tut, let's remedy to that, shall we?" Her hand flies for my stomach. There's another crack, and I'm bent over with pain. Flames begin to flicker between my fingers, but I hurriedly put them out.

"Ple… please…" I beg, knowing very well that she won't listen.

She only laughs again. "But now, you wouldn't learn anything that way would you?" she slurs in my ear.

XxX

This morning she came to get me. I shied away from her touch, but I knew better than to attack her again. Her hand is strong on my collar as she brings me up the stone steps, through more hallways and finally back into the sunlight. I blink furiously and trip; it's been so long since I've seen the sun, it burns my eyes. Sharply, she pulls me back up and forces me to keep her pace.

Outside, there are about a dozen soldiers waiting for us. They come around us and follow her as she drags me through what I think is a courtyard and down to a busy marketplace. I shiver in my cotton dress; snow is now packed on the ground and I can see my breath when it comes out. All the people pressing themselves along the street are wearing coats and shawls, and even she's dressed in a long heavy cloak.

In the centre of the marketplace, there's a patch of stone ground where the snow's been cleared off. That's where she stops, putting her hand on my head now and grabbing a handful of my hair. For the first time since she pulled me out of the stone room, she looks at me.

"Now," she says, her lips stretched over her teeth in what I think must be a smile, "you'll learn what it costs to play with fire, you little motherless beast." In front of us stands a large iron cage, charred black, on a platform of wood and straw; straw is even woven between the bars of the cage, and heavy wooden pillars brace it on each side. I shiver harder. I can recognize a pile of firewood when I see it.

Rover's words come back to me. _"They burnt people, too."_ And I remember the dream, with the great fire-god and the wolf-people, and how my voice shattered into a thousand glass pieces when the last of the air left me.

"No," I say. "Please. Please, I'll be good I promise, please…" I know fire listens to me, but I can't help but think about Gran and how she died. What if I can't really control fire, or what if it's because the fire's too big? Fire listened to Gran too, and fire killed her.

"Oh, but it's not for you," she chuckles. At that moment, a violent clamour rises from the distant market crowd. She turns to face the source of the screaming. "No, you have a much more important part to play than that."

Eventually, the crowd parts to let by a hefty black horse, pulling a caged cart. The people are yelling at the cart, some even hurling things towards it. I don't understand, until the horse comes closer and I can see Rover standing in the cart, beside one of the dancers from the caravan. Herminda is there as well, and Mama's friend who does the washing with her, and old Tyuna with her wet, grey eyes. Neither of them is friends with fire.

A soldier places a crate on the ground and stands up on it, trying in vain to calm the raving crowd.

"Citizens of Riselk," he calls, "this day, and with accordance with the law of the King, we execute those who threaten the unity of our kingdom through their immoral and pervasive acts of rebellion against the sovereignty of our King."

"Just burn 'em already!" someone shouts above the rest.

"Please don't," I cry, grabbing onto her cloak. "I'll be good, I promise I'll be good, please don't, please!"

"You know what they say about little sorceresses who play with fire, don't you? They get burnt." She chuckles, like this was funny. "Or someone else does."

They've stopped the cart and have started to pull the people out of it. First it's old Tyuna, who doesn't put up much of a fight, and gets thrown into the iron cage. Then Rover gets pulled out, and Herminda. She has something like soup dripping from her hair, and looks like she's holding back tears. Rover sees me first.

"Aisha!" he cries out. Somehow he manages to escape the soldier holding him and dash towards me. "Aisha, it'll be okay, you hear? It'll be fine!"

"Rover!" I try to reach him, but the row of soldiers is between us.

"Move aside," she orders in a strict voice, and everyone freezes. The soldiers look at her doubtfully, and she smiles.

"Why, if they want to exchange final goodbyes, who am I to deny it to them?" she says cruelly. Someone pushes Rover to his knees in front of me, and I rush to hug him.

"Please don't burn him," I say, tears flowing down my face. "Please."

"Aisha, listen." His hands are tied behind his back, so that he can't hug me back. "Promise me you won't cry. No matter how much you want to, don't cry. You can look away if you want, I won't mind. Do it for me." I nod, still buried in his shoulder, and try to swallow my tears.

"That's so touching. Alright, that's been enough, I think," she says, and I feel someone rip Rover away from me.

"No!" I screech, reaching for him, but her hand is back on my head and pulling my hair.

"You stay here," she commands, and the row of soldiers closes again. I catch a last glimpse of Rover's eyes before they drag him away. He looks scared, more scared than I've ever seen him.

Herminda had seemed calm before, but just before they throw her in the cage she pulls back, digging her feet in the ground against the men who try to drag her. She screams, and I feel the wind pick up around the square, carrying the straw away from the pyre. "Rover! I-" The soldier holding her simply grabs his sword and hits her with the pommel. She falls limp in his arms, and he throws her in after Tyuna.

"You bastards!" Rover yells, fighting, but they're too much for him.

"The hereby stand guilty of possessing magi blood, performing acts of magic and sorcery, ruining crops and causing sickness among the population…"

"Get on with it!"

"Yeah! Burn the bastards!"

"If I must." She smiles, and with a wave of the hand beckons two soldiers to come nearer, carrying a cauldron. They place it before me, and I peer inside: it's oil.

"… causing unrest in the border settlements, blaspheming against the King and his loyal servants in office…"

"They never did that!" I shout in protest, trying, trying so hard not to cry. Her grip on my hair gets tighter.

"Hush. It's all for the sake of the show, little abomination."

They slam the door of the iron cage, and put a bar through it. Rover is knelt beside Herminda's slumped body, looking like he's trying to revive her. Tyuna and Mama's friend are huddled together in a corner, and the dancer – I think her name is Jemmel, but I don't know her very well – tries to stay upright and proud until a rotten turnip catches her on the shoulder.

"Now it's your turn to shine." She drags me to the cauldron, and orders two soldiers to hold me. Without even glancing at each other, they plunge my hands in the oil. I feel her behind me, and then the crackling of a whip reaches my ears.

"The Black Lady, guardian of our fine city, leader of the Hunters, and representing his Highness' law among us, will now preside the lighting of the pyre," the soldier on his box calls. There's another whipping noise, and a slash of pain across my back. I cry out.

Silence drops over the crowd. I'm not even trying to pull my hands out of the cauldron; I'm just shaking. I don't know what to do but scream.

"Aisha!" That's Rover, ramming himself angrily against the cage bars. "What are you doing? LEAVE HER ALONE!"

She cracks the whip again, without an answer to his question. I scream; it feels like lines of pure pain drawn across my skin. I try and fail to stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks. I promised Rover I wouldn't cry.

So instead, I flame up.

Quickly the fire spreads to the oil, where it rests at the surface and burns without my help. With yelps the soldiers let go of me, but the damage has already been done. Before I can formulate any sort of response behind the fog of tears and pain, one of them grabs the cauldron and throws its content onto the pyre.

The crowd howls like a pack of wolves.

I watch in horror as the flames lick at the wood and straw, steadily climbing towards the cage. I feel her hand fall on my shoulder.

"You try to put out that fire, and I'll make them go through far worst," she snarls in my ear.

The people in the cage all back up towards the centre, except for Herminda who still can't move. Rover looks at me and screams.

"Close your eyes Aisha! Don't look! Don't look!" But I can't do anything but look. I'm frozen. That fire, that smoke… they're mine. My fire will burn them. My…

I scream. I scream and can't stop until the air completely vanishes from my lungs.

"It's going to be alright, Aisha!" I know it won't be, because I will kill them.

Tyuna is the first to fall over. One by one, under the howls and cheers of the crowd, they fall like flies as the fire engulfs them. Rover has settled beside Herminda, as though he could somehow protect her from the smoke smothering them.

"Ashes to ashes, isn't that what they say little sorceress?"

I watch it all, unable to look away, for what seems like hours until the fire dies of its own. At one point someone throws something rotten at me and it runs down my shoulders and over my ripped dress, but I don't move. And then, when I see what my fire has done, Tyuna's arm burnt black, Jemmel's eyes open and glassy, Herminda and Rover leaning against one another as though they were sleeping, I don't scream and I don't cry. Instead I close my eyes and press my fists to my ears, trying in vain to erase everything.


	50. Thrice-marked - Part 2

The stone is cold and the room is dark, but I refuse to light a flame. I haven't slept all night, and more than once, I broke my promise to Rover. I guess it doesn't really matter anymore though, because he's not here to see me.

She's been here all night too. I don't even know why I speak of night as though it was over; for all I know, the moon is still high in the sky. There are no windows in this stone room.

She hasn't said a word since she closed the door behind us, after dragging me back from the marketplace. All she's done is look at me, steadily, whether I was screaming or whimpering or simply sitting silently, trying not to think about anything. She hasn't even made a sound until now.

"That's what happens when you defy me, little sorceress," she says, taking a step towards me. "It would have happened regardless, but you decided on the moment with your arrogance. To think you had a chance against me!" She laughs, a long, deranged laugh, throwing her head back. "You all think you have a chance against me, don't you? All you magi… all of you, think you're more powerful than me!" I look up at her. I don't understand: she's a mage, just like me, she has to be or my fire would have touched her yesterday. So why does she do this? Why does she hunt us?

She smiles at me, her teeth glistening like fangs in the darkness. "You're wondering why I hunt my own kind, don't you, you little monster? What do you think I should do, protect them? Shield those who defy me by their very existence? Ha! You don't understand. They are inferior, they are but maggots at my feet, but the rotting corpse can be overtaken by maggots… Together, all together they are a thousand times more powerful than me, so I must kill them all. And so I do, one by one…" She chuckles.

"I thought…" I stop, amazed at my own courage, silently terrified that she'll hurt me for speaking, "I thought the King hated magi?"

"Hates magi? Oh no, no, he loves magi. The ones from the Centrelands, the heart of Riselk, where they are oh-so-few and so very loyal. But out here in the Borderlands, in the forests and the hills, on the roads, among you nomads, magi swarm like flies. It's a plague, it is. And out here, the King is either hated or ignored, and he is afraid. Afraid that when you rise – because you will, one day – that your magi will win you the war. That is why he ordered the Burnings. I only do my share because he allows me to kill you lot, soulless shell. When the job here is done, then I will turn to the Centrelands, but for now I purge the outskirts and it contents me." She kneels in front of me, and takes my wrist. I shiver, but there is no cracking sound. "But you see, that is why I have to kill you, sweet monster of mine. You and I, we are alike; they are the maggots, and we are the gods. You, my little sorceress, are the only one who may one day surpass me, and I will not stand by and watch." She leans in close and whispers the rest in my ear. "Because I too would have three crests on my golden coat." Slowly, her hand creeps around my neck and starts squeezing. I can't take it anymore; I try to squirm away, try to breathe, but it's no use. "Hush, there," she says, "hush. It won't be for tonight, my dear. This is just a little taste of what is to come." She chuckles. "Now sleep dear, and sweet dreams."

She doesn't stop squeezing until everything goes black, and the dreams are far from sweet.

XxX

The rope against my neck burns my skin as she yanks on it yet again.

"Today is the day," she said cheerfully this morning when she came to get me. This time she didn't grab me by the collar, but instead looped a rope around my neck and wrists, like a leash. I suppose it was so she could mount her horse and still keep a grip on me.

At first I thoughts we'd be headed for the square, like for Rover and Herminda, but she and the soldiers went out from a different gate and made for outside the city. There aren't only soldiers either, I noticed, but also several richly-dressed men with no uniform.

"Bow to your lords, little one, be polite," she said when we first met them in the courtyard. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to bow to lords, because the only time I ever saw them was in our camps near the cities, and then they were always in disguise and didn't want anybody to bow to them. So I just lowered my head the way Mama told me to do with my elders. The slap came swift. It was so hard I fell to my knees and tasted blood in my mouth. Now my cheek is swollen and numb.

"That's more like it. I apologize for this one's manners, my lords," she said, smiling, holding her hand as though it had hurt for her too. "I'm afraid out on the roads they aren't taught much about how civilized people act."

I know I should be scared, but I can't find it in me. I've been scared for the past… week? Two weeks? I don't know how long I've been here, but I've been scared during all of it, and now it just feels like there's no way it could be worse.

I am crying though, but that's not because of the fear. A few people have gathered in the streets and yell at us, mostly calling me names like "child killer", "cannibal" and "monster". Some of them threw things, without much success, until someone dumped a bucket on me from a window above. Now my eyes sting and I smell like urine and moldy cabbage.

"What's wrong, not going to defend yourself?" she said mockingly, looking down at me. "You could kill every one of them if you wanted, you know. Of course, that would change absolutely nothing to the fact that I'm going to kill you, but I'm sure it would make you feel better." I shook my head. Gran and Mama always told me that killing people is bad, and… and…

_Rover._

I closed my eyes to try and forget, but tripped on a stone instead. I can't do that again, even if they're people I don't know. Even if one of them dumped their waste bucket on me.

"Shame," she said. "It's a curious thing, especially with you nomads. You don't fight back much, not with magic anyway. It's almost as though you're afraid to _hurt_ us." This made her laugh.

I shook my head, and kept crying silently until we reached one of the city gates. She saluted the guards with a nod, and they hurriedly opened the heavy wooden gate, almost like every second they made her wait was making her more likely to kill them.

It seemed like a long time until we made it here, on the edge of a forest. The wind is sweeping the snow between the trees, and for the first time in weeks I see the horizon where the earth and sky blur together.

She gestures for one of the soldiers to come and untie me. My skin is red where the rope rubbed against it. I have nothing but my thin dress to protect me from the cold, and I'm shaking.

"In the forest you go, sweet," she says, smiling. "We'll give you… Oh, what do you say my lords, shall we give her until nightfall, just to make things interesting?" Nobody voices an objection. "Then it's settled. When the sun sets, we'll set out after you. If, by the first light, we haven't caught you, we will come back here. Understood?"

"I, uh…" I take a hesitant step toward the trees. A gust of wind hits my face, and I try to protect myself from the cold. She isn't going to burn me? "And if you… c-catch me?" I ask.

"Then you will make a most lovely sheath," she says. My eyes widen; I understand now. She slides off her horse and walks to where I stand, unable to move.

Her fingers slip under my chin and pull my face up towards hers. Her teeth glisten like fangs only an inch from my face, and I feel her warm breathe against my skin.

"Here's my advice if you want to survive," she says slowly. "Run, love, faster than you've ever run before."

The snow is deep and shifting like an angry sea under my feet, but I obey.

XxX

I don't know when the day turned to night; I don't know how far I've gone from the city; I don't know when the storm started lifting; I don't remember the last time I felt my fingers. I've pressed them under my armpits time and time again, but my entire body is so transperced with cold that I don't think I have any warmth left.

I ran for as long as I could, until my legs gave out under me in protest. I started walking, but only for as long as I needed to regain enough energy to start running again. I can't stop going, not even to rest or light a fire. I could light a fire, a magic one, just a small flame in the palm of my hand and it wouldn't even slow me down; I know she can find me faster if I use magic. I don't want to freeze, but I don't want her to find me either. I feel her presence behind me like a shadow, like a wind, not touching me but chasing me, biting at my heels, a promise. I know she'll find me. But if I keep running... if I don't stop, I might make it.

Determined, I quicken my pace. I won't freeze if I keep moving.

Snow whips at my face, burning where it touches my skin. I look behind me, but there's nothing. Even so, I know it doesn't mean I'm safe. She can still find me. She has until sunrise to find me, and that's plenty of time for someone like her.

Gran used to tell me how magic works: how most magi have only one mark, either of earth, water, wind or fire; how some, incredibly rare, have two marks like her, which meant they had two elements to control; how somehow, I was marked with three. How the Gods of Air and Fire and the Goddess of Water all bent down over my mother's womb and created me, something rarer than a four-moon summer. They say that our ancestor Cellian the Trickster was a Thrice-Marked, but he is only a story. They say that he could talk to the Earth herself and see inside the soul of any man to find what he wanted most in the universe. Rover could find me in minutes when I was lost in the woods, just by feeling my magic, and he had only one mark: she has three. Finding me will be nothing for her, even if I manage to fly as the swallow does. That's why I have to keep running. She hasn't found me yet, and until she does there is a chance I will escape. A small chance, but I can't abandon it.

Thinking of Gran and Rover makes me want to sit down and cry. If it weren't for me, Rover would still be alive. He got caught because he was trying to protect me, and it's my own fire that killed him. And if I hadn't made Dad so angry he wouldn't have told the soldiers about Gran, and she would still be here too. This is not the time to grieve, but my head is heavy and I want to so much...

The eye, red and bloodthirsty. _Found you._

I scream and break into another run. No, she can't catch me! I have to get away, get so far away that she can't possibly catch up to me until sunrise. It's all that matters now. Cold and hunger mean nothing. The snow battering my face is gone. There is only forward, and there is only running.

I continue like this for how long I cannot say. I only become aware of my surroundings when the snowy ground collides with my face, and then only long enough to stand back up and spit the snow from my mouth. Then I am running again, and the world blurs into grey and wind.

A laugh reaches me from the darkness, childlike and disturbing. It echoes between the trees, carried by the wind, searching for me. I can't let it catch me. I can't…

Something whistles past me and lodges itself in a tree trunk. I recognize the sound of another arrow being notched, and the song of a bowstring.

I swerve to the right, panting. I didn't hear the horses' hooves, how did I not hear their hooves? _It's the snow, it's too thick_, I think, and something hits my shoulder and throws me to the ground.

"I SAID NOT TO HIT HER!" her crazed voice rises up, full of fire and fury. Clutching my lifeless arm, I crawl away and try to stand. She hasn't caught me yet.

There's a noise like something heavy falling in the snow, and someone – not her – cries out in pain. I have to get away before she can see me. The point of the arrow in my shoulder hurts, so I try to rip it out as I run. It hurts even more coming out, and I trip and fall again.

As I get up, something grabs my hair and pulls me back fiercely. I'm too afraid to think of the consequences, and blindly stab behind me with the arrow in my hand. It hits something soft and goes through, and I pull forward and away just as I hear a howl of pain behind me. I turn around, just to see, and I am paralyzed: it's her, and her gaze pulls me in inexorably. She is not a human in front of me, she is a wounded animal, great and powerful and horrifying. She is towering above me with a sword in one hand and her eyes like beacons in the dark, except that they don't promise a safe path, but death and pain and fear. The arrow protrudes from her thigh, but she doesn't seem hurt as she takes a step towards me.

"That," she snarls, "was a big mistake, little sorceress." She holds up what looks like a clump of hair, and I touch the back of my head; my braid is gone. "It could have been quick, but no, now you make me take my time. So be it then," she adds, then smiles. I shudder.

For every step she takes forward I take one back, unable to free myself from her hypnotic gaze. Then there is something behind me, bark under my fingers, and I have to stop. Her smile grows wider as she closes the gap between us. I'm so scared I can't think. She caught me. I will die.

Suddenly a flash of anger runs through me, from somewhere in the pit of my stomach. I don't want to die, curse it! Her sword stops before it reaches me, clinking against my invisible shield. The winds rise around us, attacking from all sides and blinding us from the outside world. I hear shouts from the lords behind her, but all I see is still her eyes, looking down at me with something like laughter. The wind doesn't touch her.

There's a wall between us, stone and wind and wills clashing. I twist, claw, slash, and bite, while she stays immovable against it, pushing it all towards me. Neither of us gains any ground for what seems like hours, until she barks out in laughter. I don't understand, until my shield shatters and her sword slides forward.

I hiccup, not so much out of pain than surprise, as she kneels in front of me and reaches for my throat. "I'm still stronger than you," she whispers in my ear. The anger is gone, cut off at the source by the sword in my stomach. The winds fall completely. There is only fear left in my body. I am going to die.

That's when it starts hurting. I gasp, cry out, feel the tears fall down my face. It's a trickle of fire through my abdomen, dripping and dripping down as it burns.

"Don't you want to know, sweet abomination?" she asks mockingly. "What it feels like to die? Just like they died, because of you?" I can't answer.

She braces herself against the trunk to pull her sword out of the wood behind me, and for a moment I am free. Then she pulls me forward, and plunges the sword inside me again. I don't scream, because the pain is so much that I can't do much of anything but look at her. With a gleam of pleasure in her eyes, she twists the blade once, twice. This time I do scream, as the trickle becomes torrent. I collapse completely, and she lets me fall off the end of her sword.

I feel her shadow fall atop me, and a cold hand presses against the hole in my belly. She snarls something I don't understand, her voice barely human. Before I can react the spell is already cast, and I feel the closely woven net around my wound. I can't think of anything anymore, not even how to make a shield to stop her. I used to know how to make shields, but that was before the pain and the river-fire.

"Good luck healing that wound now, you little beast," she whispers, brushing my bangs out of my face almost tenderly.

"Uh… My lady…" one of the lords calls out.

"What?" she snarls, turning towards him. I can't see, but he sounds terrified.

"Don't you think we should… I mean, you'll be expected in town in the morning, and… it's taken us already this long to find her… she's sure to die, we could…" There's a heavy silence following that, and the only sound I hear is my ragged breathing and the whistle of the wind.

"Are you saying we should leave her?" she finally asks, but it is not a question at all.

"It would be best, my lady," another voice says. "You've killed her, it is plain to see, and you will need your rest to deal with business in a few hours. The king himself has summoned you to court, and it would be best to leave as soon as possible. Besides, leaving her all alone in the dark would only make her death more distressing, don't you think?"

I stare at the sky, but there are no clouds out tonight. There are only a thousand thousands snowflakes rushing down to their falls, burying my mouth and nose as I try desperately to breathe. Somewhere to the east, the sky is slowly catching fire.

There's a hand on my throat and a mouth at my ear and her breath feels incredibly warm on my skin. "Sweet dreams, little sorceress," she laughs. Then she disappears, and I am left alone in the snow.

I don't want to die. Not like Gran and Rover and Herminda, gasping and burning, consumed by the fiery river inside of me. Not in this snow that is no longer white but red. Not in this storm. And yet I know that the storm will not stop until I am dead. Because it's crying for me.

I remember when Rover taught me how to swim in the Crakehall river. Once I wandered too far and got caught in a current, and he had to come fish me out with his strong hands. "Not like that, silly fish!" he laughed. "Don't fight the current; if you ever get pulled again, just let it carry you down into safer waters, alright? You scared me."

"_It's foolish to fight the river." _

I don't want to die. I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to…

XxX

I wake up to the sound of birds singing. I open my eyes to find that there's a roof atop my head, and I hear a fire crackling somewhere. I'm warm, and there is wood underneath my fingers.

For a moment I panic, and shoot up into a sitting position, screaming. The fire is under me, I'm burning, just like Rover and Herminda, and Jemmel and old Tyuna…

I see the fire in the hearth in front of me, a safe distance away. A big black pot rests over it, sending delicious smells wafting towards me. I suddenly think of my stomach, and bring a hand to where the sword used to be; my skin feels whole. There's a heavy blanket pooling at my legs. I don't understand. Is this what death looks like?

Then there are running footfalls, and a boy bursts through a door to my right. I jump, almost falling from the table I'm sitting on.

"You okay?" he asks, looking around the room with wide eyes. I don't know what to answer, so I say nothing. "What's your name?" he continues, and still I don't answer. I don't know who he is or where I am, and I don't know if I can trust him.

He turns back to the door and yells. I cower at the sound. "Mama!" he calls loudly. "Maaaaamaaaaa! The girl's awake now!"

A woman eventually comes through the door, a cascade of curly black hair running down her back. She smiles when she sees me.

"Hello there darling," she says softly, coming towards me. "Are you feeling better?" Nothing is coming out of my mouth, but I manage a nod. She seems pleased. "You must be hungry. Here, I'll give you some stew." I watch as she grabs a bowl and spoon from a cupboard, ladles some of the black pot's content into the bowl and hands it to me. It's a plain clay pot, light brown instead of the warm burgundy our bowls were, but the stew smells delicious so I take it. The stew is thick and good, but I suddenly find myself wishing for some of Gran's soup. I'll never learn how to make it now, I think, and tears start pricking at my eyes. "Oh sweatling, does it still hurt?" the woman asks, reaching for me. I shake my head, curling up on myself.

"Who are you?" the boy asks again, staring at me with his big brown eyes. He looks a bit older than me.

"Hush Clain, it doesn't matter, does it?" the woman interrupts him as I finally allow her to press a hand to my forehead and brush my hair back. "She'll be staying with us for a while, and you'll lend her some of your clothes to wear. Your hair is so badly hacked, dear, it's just easier to cut it short and tell the neighbours you're a boy." My hair is short now, I remember, raising a hand to the back of my head. "We'll just call you Shan, how about that? We can tell them you're my sister's son come for a visit. My name's Ritza." Her smile is soft and loving, and I find myself trusting her a little.

Another door opens and a man walks in, dragging some of the cold with him. As he lifts his hood he reveals a rather stocky face, with a scar along his cheek and a nose that's clearly been broken many times. Doume had his nose broken a lot, so I know how it looks.

"Up and about, I see," he says when he sees me. His eyes aren't unkind, but he doesn't smile and his face looks scary. The little boy runs to him.

"Daddy!" he cries, leaping into the man's arms. Only then does he smile, as he twirls the boy around.

"Daddy?" another voice calls feebly from the other door. A small child, looking rather sleepy, walks in carrying a blanket. His face lights up when he sees the man. "Good morning Daddy!" he yells, running towards the man as well.

I don't understand what's going on; I know I'm not dead now, but I still don't know how that's possible. These people seem nice, especially Ritza, and she says I can live with them, but why? And what does that mean?

"Alright boys, go on and feed the goats, will you?" the man says, pushing the kids towards the back of the room. The eldest seems about to protest, but the man's eyes get stern and he simply runs out, dragging his little brother behind him.

"I've already named her Shan," Ritza tells the man when the children have left. She is still petting my hair, and I have to admit it feels nice. "You were lucky my husband was out hunting last night, or he wouldn't have found you there," she continues, talking to me this time. "You can stay with us until we find you another safe place to go to. We'll keep you safe from the soldiers in the meantime, alright?" The man scowls at this.

"No more than a week, Ritza," he says. "We've already spoken about this. I don't want to put you or the boys in danger."

"We're not in any more danger now than we usually are," she replies, sending him a sharp glance. "We've already spoken about that as well."

"Yes, but she was found. Her trail is still fresh, and you know how they are about letting us live."

"They've found you before, and now you're safe."

"It took me years to manage that. Do you have any idea how hard it was to hide again, let alone survive the hunt in the first place?"

"She's only a child. She can't be older than Clain. Would you leave her out there to the wolves?" The silence is tense for a moment, before the man finally sighs.

"A week, Ritza," he repeats. Then he too leans towards me. "Can you tell me where you're from?" he asks. I shake my head. Even if I remembered exactly when we were when the soldiers attacked, the caravan will be far away from there by now.

He sighs again. "And I couldn't find anything at the village either. Well, this is getting on to a good start," he says, standing up and brushing his hair back. "Get her dressed in Clain's clothes, will you? I'll go tell the boys exactly what's going to happen." He leaves the room without another word.

The woman turns back to me and smiles, like she's sorry. "That's Jesper," she says. "He's a very kind man, really. He carried you all the way back here in the snow, and he did all he could to heal you. There was some sort of spell on you when he brought you here, something that kept you from healing, and he managed to break it just before it was too late. He's just a little afraid, that's all, but there's nothing to be afraid of." She pats my head and stands up. "Just stay here, alright? I'll be back with the scissors for your hair soon enough." She leaves the room, and I curl up on myself. I know I should feel safe, but I don't. I try to tell myself that it's day now, and she said she would let me go free if I survived the night – but what that man just said, it scares me.

"_You know how they are about letting us live."_

He's a mage too - I don't have to ask him to know that. I could feel it the moment he walked into the room. They found him too, long ago, he said so himself; he could help me. He could teach me what to do. Maybe he could find the caravan again, and I could go home. Maybe I could survive like he did.

XxX

My hair feels weird and oddly light on my head now; the strands don't even reach my shoulders anymore. I'm wearing Clain's clothes, but they don't fit me very well – I don't very well fit into Shan either.

Ritza says that's my name now, and that I'm hers and Jesper's nephew. She also says that I'm Clain's age, but he's eight and I'm six. He also doesn't seem to like me much, but maybe that's just because I'm not used to playing with other kids my age. I was the only one in the caravan, because all the others were about Rover's age by now. So when I didn't know the game he wanted to play, Clain just got frustrated and told me to leave. I think he wanted me to be Shan and smile, but I'm still Aisha inside. And Aisha doesn't want to play right now.

I've been sitting on the ground for a while now, watching the boys play. The youngest one is called Po. He's really just a baby, but he already knows the games better than I do. If I'm really Shan now, shouldn't I know them too?

I frown and jab my hand through the snow. The house is in a clearing in the forest, with a fenced yard in front and pens in the back, for goats and chicken. Ritza told me the yard is actually a garden during spring and fall, but with all the snow it's just a play-pen during the winter moons.

I let myself fall back, spreading my limbs around me. It's not snowing anymore and the sky is bright and starless, but the snow feels the same on my skin as it did that night. I could have died, lying there. If Jesper hadn't come by, I would have. And then maybe I would have seen Gran again, and Rover, and Herminda and all of them. Maybe it would have been better to see them again; I miss them so much. Tears burn at my eyes. Maybe I should have just let myself die.

A shadow falls on me, and hands pull me up roughly. I yell, twisting to get out of the sudden and unwelcome grasp, expecting her whispery voice next to my ear and her hand against my neck. But it's only Jesper, and he sets me on my feet.

"Don't you want to play with the boys, Shan?" he asks, looking down at me. I shake my head. No, I don't want to play. I don't think I'll ever want to play again. "Then come in the back and help me with the fencing," he says. I follow begrudgingly, planting my feet in his much larger footprints as he leads me to the back of the house. I glance warily at the path through the trees as we pass it, looking for a shadow indicating that she could be nearby. "Hurry up, Shan!" Jesper calls, already far ahead of me. No wonder he outran the soldiers.

When I finally reach him, he holds out a plank to me. It's heavy, but I don't dare complain as he hammers nail after nail into the fence to solidify the wood already there. Then he rips the plank from my grasp and almost throws the hammer at me in exchange. I yelp as it hits my fingers and falls in the snow. Without saying a word, Jesper picks it up and hands it back to me. I take it, all the while sucking resentfully on my finger to try and erase the pain. Then the plank is set, and he grabs the hammer again.

As he drives each nail into the wood with precision, he finally speaks. "You're fireborn," he says, "or they would have burned you like the others." I don't say anything. If not for my fire, there would have been no burning in the first place. Then Jesper looks at me, his blue eyes penetrating. "But you have more than one mark, I can tell. What's the other one? Air?" My eyes narrow; I shouldn't say that I'm thrice-marked. He might be scared that she'll find me quicker and send me away.

"You're fire-marked too," I reply instead. "Or they would have burned you." A small smile bursts on his face suddenly.

"So she does have a voice," he says, turning back to his work. "And you're right. But that still didn't answer my question. It's air, isn't it?" I nod. I just won't tell him about the water.

He nods too, even though he probably had guessed for a while. "Your ring is magic too," I say, looking at the gleaming metal at his finger. I can know things too.

"Hm," he grunts. "You can't change who you are, so you might as well embrace it and be able to defend yourself. It's not the only thing I have that can help me if I need it. And since you talk now, can you tell me where you're from?" I shake my head again.

"They're probably far away now," I say. He sighs and throws his head back.

"One of those bloody nomads, are you? Of course, make my job difficult. And Ritza will never forgive me if the week is passed and I just throw you out…" Some more silence passes, and I stomp my feet repeatedly in the ground to warm them. Suddenly, I'm not angry anymore. I'm just scared that he'll leave me alone.

"Please don't," I whisper. "Please, I'll be good. I'll help you fix the whole fence, and I can help Ritza with the cooking, I know how to make bread, and I'll feed the goats-"

"Alright, alright," he grumbles. "I already said I'd keep you here a week. We'll see after that. Now go inside, see if Ritza needs anything." I nod, and start running towards the door. "Shan!" he calls again just before I reach it. I turn around, expecting him to scold be again. "I don't want to see you thinking about the other night again, you hear? It's not healthy."

This time, I say nothing and just disappear into the house.

XxX

_I dream of running, and snow. I try to run, but the ground is shifting constantly under my feet and the storm is so thick I can't see where I'm going. All I have as compass is her presence, trailing me like a dog, nipping at my heels. I run away from it, as fast as I can, my feet pounding the ground in rhythm with my heart, pounding like Herminda's drums on solstice night. I try to call the wind to help me, but I am helpless. _

_I feel her shadow behind me, and stare down in horror at the blade sticking from my chest. I am screaming and choking, drowning on the fiery river that is sweeping me away. I see Rover and Herminda in the flames, and they reach for me._

Your fault_, they say._

_Then Gran is there, with fire in her eyes and hair._

Your fault_, she says._

_I yell, I plead, I beg, but there is no one to save me this time. _I'm sorry!_ I yell at the figures around me, _please help me, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean any of it to happen, please, I'm sorry, so sorry…

Your fault, your fault, your fault_, they repeat as they close in around me, watching as I slowly suffocate on my guilt._

XxX

"We found some winterberries!" Po bursts through the door, waving his arms in the air. Ritza smiles softly as she shuffles through the kitchen.

"That's great, love. If you pick them all, I'll make you a pie." The boy smiles as though the pie was already baked and in front of him.

"I need a basket Mama!" he yells, holding his hands out. Ritza gives him one soon enough, and he bounds outside again. Before he disappears completely however, he turns back and looks at me. "Aisha, Aisha, come pick berries with me!" he calls. I frown at him. He asked what my name was and I told him, but only because I thought he was too little to tell everyone. I guess that was stupid.

"Po, you know his name is Shan," Ritza scolds gently. "And I think it would be good for you to help him, and get some air," she continues, looking at me. I nod and start heading outside. I don't want Jesper to just leave me at the end of the week, so for the past few days I've done exactly as I was told without complaining. I don't want to cause him any trouble at all.

As I pass Ritza, she hands me another basket. Her eyes shine happily. "You have a pretty name," she whispers, then gently pushes me towards Po. "Off you go you two, get out of my hair!" she laughs.

I follow Po to the bushes, all the while keeping an eye on the thick forest all around us. I don't want to pick winterberries without Rover, but I don't have a choice if I don't want Jesper to hate me. Clain is already waiting for us, waving a stick around like it's a sword.

"It took you long enough," he says. "Come on, I want to eat those!" We start picking the berries, and I notice that neither of the boys seem to mind my presence anymore. Maybe Clain just didn't want to teach me the game they were playing… or maybe I'm becoming more like Shan, and that's what he likes. I notice that he sneaks a few berries into his mouth, and so I do the same. Po yells at us in indignation when he finds out, but Clain just laughs and I smile. It's nice to eat berries again like this, even if Rover's not around. These must be the last of the season.

"I think we have enough to make a pie," I finally say, looking at our catch.

"Then let's go give them to Mama!" Po exclaims, running towards the house with his basket. Clain and I follow, and to my surprise, Clain puts an arm around my shoulder.

"I'm sorry about not letting you play with us yesterday," he mutters, and I know Ritza must have talked to him. But then he brightens up. "But you're not as boring as I thought you were, Shan!" he adds. "So I think I'll teach you the game next time, okay?" I nod, flushing a little in happiness. "Actually, once we give the berries, let's play a game right now!" I nod again.

"Alright," I say softly. Soon we are in the yard, and Clain is drawing a complicated figure in the snow.

"Now," he says, "you have to jump this way, see, into the squares like this… and then if you fall you have to start over. The first person to make it all the way to the end wins, alright?" I nod hurriedly.

It's harder than it looks, and I fall a lot – but then so does Clain, so he can't complain. At one point we start wrestling, because he threw snow in my face and I threw some back. It all ends with us sprawled against the house wall, where we can roll no longer, cackling like two crazy hens.

"The pie's ready!" Ritza calls, and we crawl over each other to see which one of us will get to the door first. By now the sun is setting, and the fire sheds its light brightly through the door. She is waiting for us, holding out the warm pie like an invitation.

Po is already seated, digging into his slice of pie eagerly. Jesper is there as well, the rare smile adorning his lips as he steals a slice for himself. Ritza pretends to scold him, but I can tell she's just happy.

Clain and I finally get a piece of pie, and soon enough there is dark red smothered all over our faces. I can't remember the last time I had winterberry pie, and this one is delicious. Ritza pretends to be angry at us too, and wipes our faces with a cloth.

"I hear you don't only have a voice, but a name now too, huh?" Jesper teases me. He even ruffles my hair and gives me a wink.

I have trouble believing it. For a moment the hearth is warm and the people are smiling and I feel happy.

Just for a moment.

My head snaps up as I hear the sound of horses walking down the forest path. It's low, so I know that the others wouldn't hear it, but Jesper takes note of my expression and frowns.

Ritza stops to look at her husband. "Is everything alright, love?"

"Kids, stay inside," he says, standing up. He's still looking at me as he reaches for the door. "Soldiers?" he mouths, and I nod. Only soldiers and lords have tack that rings like so many little bells.

Jesper doesn't wait until they've knocked on the door to open. "Can I help you lot?" he calls. A strong voice answers him.

"There's no point in pretending; we know you're harbouring an escaped mage. Give her up, and we might let the rest of your family live." I get down from my bench, ready to run for the back door if anyone were to reach for me. She's not here, but I know she's the one who sent these soldiers.

"No mage here, m'lord," Jesper answers, spitting on the ground like some people do when they speak of magic. "No girl neither, 'nless you mean my wife, an' I can assure you she's got no magic. Been married to her these past ten years, I would know."

The soldiers whisper among themselves, and I distinctly hear: "There is magic here, commander; I'd swear my life on it. Strong magic." One of them – probably the commander – steps down from his horse to peer inside the house. He meets my eyes and I freeze in terror, but he goes on to inspect Clain and Po as well.

"Get the children outside," he orders, pulling out his sword. The other soldiers do the same, and-

"No," Ritza says determinedly, taking a frying pan in hand as though it were a weapon. She walks up to the commander. "You are not taking my sons."

"Ritza, please…" Jesper says, trying to pull her back into the house.

"Take the boys," the commander repeats. I am already at the back door, ready to open it and run at a moment's notice, when one of the soldiers forces his way past Ritza. The first one he grabs is Po, but before he can get the screaming, crying boy out the door, Ritza smashes his head in with the frying pan. His helmet stops the blow, so she swings again, this time hitting him square in the face. Blood splatters, and the man falls to the ground.

"I told you not to touch my sons!" she yells, and between the darkness and the firelight she looks as scary as Gran could be.

"Ritza, get inside!" Jesper yells, trying to push her through the doorway, but now the soldiers are grabbing at her too, and I can't make out much in the resulting chaos. "No, Ritza… RITZA!" Jesper's voice cries, and something dark and round bounds through the door and stops at my feet. I recognize the dark, curly mass of hair.

There is a blast of fire at the door, and then Jesper is back inside and bracing the door against the screaming soldiers with the table and chairs. "Clain!" he yells, but Clain is too busy staring at the head on the floor.

"Is that Mama?" he whispers, his eyes so wide they seem white. I know that it is, and I can't breathe. It began with Gran, and now one more person is dead because of me. I am too scared to scream.

"Clain! Listen to me!" Jesper roars furiously as the assaults on the door get stronger. Roused by his father's voice, the boy finally turns to him. Jesper's eyes are burning diamonds, glistening in the firelight. "You know the secret cellar in the woods? I want you to take Po and Shan there, and close the door. You don't leave until I come for you, alright? Do you hear me, Clain? Not until I come to find you!" The boy nods, grabs Po by the hand and runs for the back door. Jesper follows him, and just for a second he is leaning close to me and I see the tears in his eyes. "Survive, girl, you hear me?" he growls, holding my wrists tightly.

"I… How…" He hasn't taught me yet. I am lost.

"You run, Aisha, and you don't stop. When you are old enough, then you will be wise enough to fight. Not now."

"But…" I want to ask so many questions: why didn't he give me to the soldiers? Why did Ritza go out there by herself? How long until he finds us? Until I am as strong as he is and able to fight?

"Run, child!" he yells, throwing me out into the darkness with Clain and Po. "Out of here!"

So I run. I run into the forest, keeping with Clain's frantic pace through the branches and stones littering our path, and when I hear the roar of fire behind us, I don't stop. I vaguely remember Clain searching through the roots of a tree and opening a black hole in the ground. We all jump in, tumbling over each other on the cold, wet ground.

And it's only when Clain closes the door behind us and throws us into total darkness, that I realize that I will never see Jesper again.

XxX

I don't know how long we stay down here, huddled together in the dark. I haven't dared light a flame, in case she comes here herself and finds us. I don't want to make this easier for her.

At first Po cries all the time, despite Clain shushing him and telling him that the soldiers will hear. He eventually stops, but I think it's because he fell asleep rather than because he understands the danger. I'm glad he stopped crying; it was horrible.

This cellar is full of magic: magic things and magic spells, all things that the boys don't know are here, but I do. I feel them, and I go over them, thinking of what they could have done to help Jesper if he could have gotten here on time. The darkness is oppressing, and so is the earth, above and around us, protecting us from the outside world but also trapping us here. Every time we hear a scuttle or a scratch, I tense and pray that it is not the soldiers come for us, or her, please not her. Anyone but her.

It takes a long time for either of the others to remember I'm there. As time goes by, I feel the fear that consumes us all grow more potent, until it threatens to choke us. That's when Clain remembers.

"Shan?" he whispers.

"Uh-huh," I answer, turning to the source of his voice as though I would be able to see him. The blow comes swiftly.

"It's your fault!" he cries. "It's your fault, your fault, your fault! It's your fault Mama's dead, and Daddy's not coming!" I'm back in that cell, in the dark, paralyzed with fear as she hits me. For a moment I can't think, and I can't breathe.

"Please, stop, please!" I say, but I try not to cry because she just hits harder that way. Then I remember that I am not in the cell but in the cellar, and that it's not her but Clain, and I manage to kick him away. I crawl backwards and away, on hands and feet, panting, until I hit something hard. Po is crying again.

"You're not that strong," Clain says bitterly, from the other side of the cellar. "I bet you can't even use magic for real."

I raise my hand up, and let a tiny flame appear between my fingers. Light suddenly floods the darkness, and I can see the others. Po stares at it, mesmerized and silent. Clain looks at it too, opens his mouth as though to say something, and then turns away.

I'm more angry at Clain now than I am scared of her. He can't say that I can't use magic, he _can't_, because I _can, _and it's a lie if he says that. I won't let him say that Gran and Rover and Herminda died for a lie.

I don't dare let the flame go on to long and I kill it, shedding us once more into darkness. That's when Clain's sobs reach my ears.

"Why isn't Daddy coming, Shan?" he asks, but he knows as well as I do what the answer is, and he knows I won't say it out loud. Then Po starts crying all over again, and I have to block my ears against the sound.

Everywhere, everywhere the darkness and the earth and the fear.

XxX

I am the first one to hear the footsteps creeping along the forest floor above us. My heart starts pounding, and I frantically search for Clain in the darkness. I find a warm body and start shaking.

"Wha…?" he asks, and I think I've woken him up but I don't care. I cling to him like he is the only thing that can protect me from what's out there.

"There's people up there," I whisper.

"Daddy?" Po says, eagerness piercing through his voice, and I hear him suck in a breath to scream. Suddenly Clain is gone from under my palms, and I hear a scuffle beside me.

"Shut up!" Clain's voice snarls. "It's not Daddy, you hear me?" There's a pause, and I think that now he must hear it too. The steps stop, start again, shuffling around our hidden door, like a dog sniffing a rabbit in its den.

Then there's the scratching, and my heart threatens to jump out of my throat. They know we're here, and now they're trying to find the door. The darkness and the earth above my head feel even more like a prison. I hate it, I hate it. There is no escape.

"Shan, give me light!" Clain whispers, and I hear him digging through the objects around us.

"But…" I protest, because if I make a flame now they'll know for sure where we are, and-

There's a metallic clink above us as they find the latch.

"Shan!"

When the fire shoots from my palm it doesn't stay there; it spreads across both of my arms, lighting the room and making me squint from the sudden light. Clain grabs for something sharp and positions himself right under the door, ready to stab at whatever tries to come down.

The door shakes, and I can't breathe. Po is hanging onto the back of my shirt, whimpering. Then with a noise that sounds like the wail of an old woman the door finally opens, and the light of the sun blinds us. I hold my hands in front of my face to shield myself from whatever is out there.

"Aisha?"

My heart starts beating again, and I jump on Clain before he can recover from the light. We wrestle, and he finally pins me to the ground, growling.

"What are you doing? Do you want to die?"

"Mama!" I scream, looking up to her face in the square of light. At first I don't think she can see me, but then her face breaks into the biggest smile I've ever seen her make.

"Aisha!"

"Wha-? Mama?" Clain seems dumbfounded, and I take advantage of that to slip from under him and run to the trap door. Mama helps me climb up the dirty slope, and throws me against her chest. She is warm.

"Oh, my darling…" she says, kissing my hair over and over again. She is crying. I want to cry too, and laugh and scream and sing all at once. I feel the sun on my body, and even though I am cold and soiled and hungry, I am far too happy to care. Mama wraps me in her cloak and rocks me back and forth, as though I were a baby again. I feel as light as a cloud, ready to burst.

"Shan?" Clain asks behind me, and then exclaims, "Odric!"

Another voice answers, a man I've never heard before. "Clain, thank the gods you're safe! Is Po with you?"

"I'm here! Did Daddy ask you to come get us?"

"Uh… Po my boy, we'll just get you home and fed, alright? Then I'll need to talk to you about some things." I sneak a look over Mama's shoulder, and see a small, grey man helping Po to his feet. Clain is out of the cellar, still holding the dirk in his hand, and sending Mama and I a strange look. The man looks to us next.

"Kazue, we need to go now," he says gently. Mama finally loosens her grip on me, and leans back to look to him.

"Thank you," she breathes. He has a nervous smile.

"All I did was tell you the rumours and show you to the cellar. I'm just glad you could find her." He has a sad look in his eyes, and turns his gaze to the ground for a moment. "It's not her fault," he says softly, putting his hand on Clain's head. The boy looks away, scowling.

"I'm going to keep you safe this time, sweet," Mama tells me, stroking my hair. Tears are still streaming down her face. I nod, because I know she will. Now that I found Mama, everything can be alright again.

"Kazue, we need to get her out of here before they come back. She'll be back at the city any day now, and she'll come straight for this area, you know this."

"Do it, then," Mama says, holding me tighter. The man seems uneasy.

"I'll just go get a few things in the cellar," he says, and starts disappearing through the hole in the ground. Po approaches us curiously.

"Is she really your Mama, Shan?" he asks. I nod. Mama raises an eyebrow.

"Shan?" she says, looking at me with an amused expression on her face. I nod sheepishly. She laughs, and kisses me again. It's like she's afraid I'll just vanish from her arms.

Clain steps towards us, and harshly grabs his brother's hand. The look he sends us is full of fire. "Come on Po, we're going home," he says, and breaks to a run through the trees.

"Boys?" Mama calls after them. "Boys, no, come back here!" She stands up, her eyes wide. "Odric, they've gone towards the house!" she yells down the hole, and runs after them, dragging me by the hand. "Clain?" she calls breathlessly. "Is that your name? Please, just come back!" Her panic is contagious, and I soon find myself running as fast as I can to try and keep up with her.

I understand why when we reach the clearing. Where the house used to be is only the remains of three walls and a lonely chimney still standing sentry above the ashes. We almost run into Clain and Po, who have stopped in front what used to be their home. Clain is frozen. I freeze too, remembering the fire blazing behind us as we ran, an eternity of darkness ago.

"Daddy?" Po asks in a quivering voice. "Daddy!" He runs around the house frantically, looking for his father.

"No!" Mama yells as he reaches the spot where the front door used to stand. Odric bursts from the trees just as I hear Po's wail. Clain seems shaken by the sound, and starts crying as well.

Odric immediately runs for Po, and Mama follows him. "Po my lad, come back here," Odric says in what I think is meant to be a soothing voice, picking up the boy over his shoulder. My eyes grow wide when I see the darkened shape thrown over the snow. I grip Mama's skirts for support; I can't look away.

Mama grabs me, and presses my face to her body so that I don't see. It doesn't matter; I saw him for only a moment, and that's all it took.

I knew he wouldn't be breathing the next time I saw him, I knew it. But I thought that maybe, with all his knowledge, and his fire, and his ring… I thought maybe he had another reason for not coming to get us. I clung to hope despite knowing hope is no longer a luxury I can afford.

But now I think that maybe he didn't want to come for us. Maybe he just wanted to give us enough time to escape. Maybe he didn't care if he survived at all.

I saw his eyes when Ritza died. They were the same eyes Rover had, before they dragged him in the iron cage. The eyes of a man who is already dead.

"Odric, it's time to go now," Mama says in her strong voice, the one where she sounds like Gran. She pulls me away from the wreckage, towards where Clain is still standing, completely unmoving. Po's wails keep echoing across the clearing, and I block my ears. I thought the crying would stop when we left the cellar.

"I have it," Odric says, holding out two small trinkets with the hand that isn't holding Po. "One for the journey, and one for the hiding. I wasn't sure the second one would be there, but Jesper was always ready for anything." He shakes his head. "I'll take the boys home with me. They have no mark on them, they won't be found easily. If I have to, I'll send them to someone else in the Circle."

"Daddy! I want Daddy! Odric, put me down!"

"Hush boy, everything's alright," the man replies to Po's cries with a worried face. Clain finally moves, just enough to let himself fall on the ground. His eyes never leave what is left of his home.

Mama looks at him sadly. "I can stay with you a few hours more, maybe help get the boys settled?" she offers to Odric. He laughs nervously.

"Don't take any offence, but bringing this one along will get us all found out in a heartbeat," he says, glancing at me. "I wouldn't have her mark anywhere near my home if I could help it."

Mama frowns, but she nods all the same. "Alright then." She holds out a hand, and Odric slips the trinkets into it. One of them looks like a necklace, but the other is just a weird-looking silver tube.

"You'll want to say _Hanshin_ at the end of the words," he tells her. "It's the only one in the records where you'll be able to hide her powers and speak the language." He has a little smile. "It's a rare thing, a talisman that can be used by non-marked. I'll probably never see another one of those again." The look Mama gives him is grave.

"Thank you," she says pointedly.

"I only helped a little. You didn't have to come all this way, tracking her like that…"

Mama presses me closer. "I take it you've never had children," she says. His face twitches, but he says nothing.

Po's crying has finally turned into sniffles. Clain's gaze slowly turns towards me as Mama puts the chain around her neck. His gaze makes my cringe.

"I… I'm sorry," I whisper. His eyes say nothing.

Mama kneels beside me and takes me in her arms. She smiles as she pets my hair. "I'll keep you safe this time, I promise," she says. "It might be hard, where we're going, but I'll keep you safe. Always." I frown as I look at her face.

"Where are we going, Mama?" I ask, suddenly suspicious. She looks a little sad.

"Another place, very different from this one," she answers softly. "But it's alright Aisha, you won't have to worry about that." I nod slowly, wondering where this new safe place will be.

"Hurry Kazue," Odric says, looking around us nervously. Mama takes a deep breath and takes the necklace's charm, a pretty blue crystal, in her hand.

"Hold onto me," she orders, closing her eyes. I do so, but not before sending a pleading glance back to Clain, who is still looking at us with the storm in his eyes. I'm not sure why, but I start to cry.

"I'm sorry," I sob. I am, for everything. For Jesper and Ritza, for Rover and Gran, for Herminda, Jemmel, Tyuna, for everyone who died because of me. Because I was weak, and I couldn't even die for myself.

I don't see if he forgives me, because at that moment Mama whispers a series of words I don't understand and the world begins to ripple apart. I scream in alarm, tears still streaming down my face, but Mama's touch is reassuring. For what seems like an eternity, all I have is the darkness, and the warm feeling of her body under my palms. And then we are falling.

XxX

It's raining outside when we reach the women's shelter. Mama bangs on the glass door with her fist, holding on tightly to me with her other hand. A woman in trousers lets us in, smiling tiredly.

"We're usually closed at this time of the night, but since we have room we'll let you in," she says. She observes Mama and I and offers us dry clothing. "It's not new, but at least it's dry and clean," she says. Mama nods thankfully, and the woman disappears into another room. She comes back only seconds later with a neat pile of clothes. "Let's just get you two dry before we do anything else, shall we?" she smiles.

I hate this new place; it's all cold and wet, and all the buildings are so tall I have trouble seeing the sky. There are weird wagons too, with no horses to pull them, and they go so fast my head spins if I try to follow them. I'm still not sure this place is safe, either. We seem very far away, but Jesper said she wouldn't stop until she found me. This might not be far enough.

Mama seems to think it is, however, because she's asking the woman how long we can stay at this shelter. She says that we can stay up to two years, but that they'll help Mama find some work and a house all to her own so that we don't have to stay here a long time. She asks Mama why we're here, but all Mama says is that we need a roof over our heads. She asks why, and Mama answers that we've lost our home. She keeps asking questions, but I stop listening.

The clothing the woman gave us is made of strange blue cloth, and I'm dressed as a boy again. I wish they would just let me be Aisha. After all, it's Shan Clain is angry against, not Aisha. It would probably be better if I could turn back. Maybe then he wouldn't be so angry at me anymore.

But if I stay Shan, then maybe Gran and Rover and Herminda wouldn't be so angry at me either. I don't know anymore; I don't feel like I know anything. I'm sorry, I really am, but I don't think anybody cares. It's still my fault, and being sorry won't bring them back. I can't help it, thinking of Gran raising her hands towards me in the fire; I start crying again.

Mama is on me in a second, coveting me like a mother hen, shushing me and rocking me. "It's alright," she whispers, "it's alright, we're safe here darling, you're safe. Shhh, hush my little bird, hush…"

"She must be tired," the woman offers kindly. "Here, I'll show you to a room, and we'll talk again tomorrow."

Mama carries me up some stairs and through a doorway, and then finally lays me down on a mattress, and still I can't stop crying. The woman was right; I am tired. So tired I'd like to go to sleep and never wake up.

After what seems like forever, the tears dry out. Mama keeps petting my hair softly, and I see that she's crying too. I'm suddenly ashamed.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, looking at my feet. Mama shakes her head.

"Aisha," she says hoarsely, "they're something you have to do for me, alright? So that we'll really be safe." I nod quickly. Of course I'll do it, anything, if it means being safe. If it means never having to see _her_ again.

She hands me the silver tube that Odric gave to her. "It's jewelry," she explains, trying to smile. "Some noble ladies wear things like that, or even sometimes the dancers, do you remember? Gran used to have one just like it when I was your age. I need you to wear it in your hair for me. Can you do that, and promise not to take it off?" I nod, slower this time. She kisses my forehead. "Let's find the best place to make it pretty, alright?"

She twists and braids the lock of hair with a smile on her face, but the tears never stop flowing. I reach a hand to her cheek. "Mama," I ask, "why are you crying?" She closes her eyes like something's hurting her.

"I love you," she says, kissing my forehead again as she snaps the barrette in place.

XxX

The woman who is holding my hand seems to be sleeping. I look at the way the sunshine falls on her closed lids, wondering at the shadows on her face. I don't know where I am, but this woman is holding my hand so she must know me. You don't hold the hand of someone you don't know.

I shift a bit on the mattress, and her eyes flutter open. She smiles when she sees me.

"Good morning, Aisha," she says. I frown slightly; is that what my name is? I guess I like it. But why don't I know my name? A name is something everyone should know, right?

"Good morning," I answer slowly. Then I ask: "Who are you?"

Tears start to pool in the woman's eyes. She brings my hand to her lips and kisses it, and a warm tear falls on my finger.

"I'm your Mama," she murmurs, "and you're Aisha. You're Aisha, and you're my little bird, and I love you." I nod thoughtfully.

"You're my Mama," I repeat, "and I'm a little bird. And you love me." She nods, sobbing now.

"I'm sorry," she says, holding me close, rocking me. Her tears fall on my hair, and on something cold against my cheek. I bring my hand to it, and it's a pretty barrette, all silver and carved. "I'm sorry," the woman who is my Mama sobs again and again, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry my darling. But we're safe now. I'll keep you safe. I'm sorry…"

XxX

_A single red eye opens in the darkness. "Well, well, look who's finally here." Her gleeful laugh echoes in the darkness. _


	51. The Will to Burn

**This chapter is sooooo short! And it took me sooooo long to write! And I'm sooooo sorry!**

**Um, yeah, I don't think this is exactly what most of you guys were expecting out of this chapter… also, I'm not completely satisfied with it… well, we'll see if it works out okay! Hopefully you enjoy your read! :D**

**P.S. xXFallenSakuraXx52: I know this is really late, but happy belated birthday? I baked you a virtual cake! (Which is not a lie ^_^)**

**P.P.S. Some of you have asked for me to repost the links to the pics of Aisha I drew… So here's the link (just erase the spaces): s763. bucket user / Lydiastone / library / ?sort=3&page=1 Yeah, I'm not much of an artist…**

**XxX **

_Hands grab me, pull me up off the ground. They smell like earth and flowers. Then there are other hands, and a body, basking in the scent of wind and snow._

"_I'll take her," a voice says, and my face is suddenly surrounded by soft fur. I groan, and something warm presses itself against my cheek. I am held, and I am warm, and for a moment I feel almost… at peace. _

_Just for a moment._

XxX

My eyes are open, but I don't feel awake. Slowly, I lift my head up to look at my surroundings: a small, barren room of wood and paper. My boots and coat from Infinity have been neatly tucked beside the door. I am laying on a futon in the corner, dressed in a robe of blue silk. My hands have been bandaged, and the blood washed from my skin. I stand up, hesitant, but my feet are sure on the ground and I can walk without hindrance.

I head for the sliding door and push it open. The hallway beyond is as small and barren as the room, but a clean and inviting sight nonetheless; it seems cozy rather than cold.

"Kuro-sama?" I call nervously. "Syaoran-kun?" I hear nothing. Where could they be? I don't think the people around here would be enemies, not if they've left me unguarded like this, but try as I might I can't sense the other's presence anywhere. "Hello?" I try again, but still no answer. I venture into the hallway, searching for a sign of life or at least another door to open. Instead, the hallway seems to go on forever.

I walk like this until panic starts to get a hold of me, and I begin running; still I reach no doors. The edges of my vision become blurry, and I feel like something is constantly moving out of the corner of my eye – but when I turn to look, there is nothing but walls of paper around me. I'm panting, and my heart is about to come out of my throat, when I feel it: there is something in the space beside me, beyond the thin wall.

I stop, hesitating for a moment. I don't know what's happening, and I don't think bursting headfirst into this is the best idea; but the presence is the first thing I've had to guide me to the others, so I take this hint. With a push, I tear through the wall and errupt into the next room.

My breath catches in my throat. In here it is night, and only a few candles light the carefully laid-out body on the ground. I take a step forward, straining to see who it is, but a white shroud covers its face.

Something moves in the shadows, and I start – but there is nothing, nothing but me and a corpse.

I want to turn away, but something compels me towards it, and my feet move against my will. That's when I notice that the body only has one arm; where the left arm should be there is not even a stump. It has been cleanly cut off at the shoulder.

"No," I whisper to myself as the horrible truth dawns on me. "No, this isn't real. It's not…" It's somebody else. Anybody else.

A sudden gust of winds lifts the shroud and puts out the candles, but the darkness doesn't come fast enough; I see his face. Hurriedly I back away into the wall, stifling a cry. The paper gives in under my weight, and I find myself falling through.

I land on a bed of grass, in the sunlight. Before I can retch up whatever is left in my body, a boot appears before me. I look up and see Syaoran-kun, staring out into the distance. He seems sad.

"Sakura-hime is dying," he says, "and I must continue to search for the feathers. I'm sorry, Aisha. I have to leave."

"Wha-? But…" She wasn't dying when we found her, was she? Horrified, I realize that I don't remember. She very well could need the feathers now, but why is it that Syaoran-kun needs to go alone? I could… Oh God, Kurogane's dead, he can't be dead, he can't…

"Goodbye," Syaoran-kun says, as he begins to walk away.

"No! Wait, I-!" I call, reaching for him, but he doesn't seem to hear me. Mokona appears suddenly, bounding to his shoulder, and both of them disappear in a swirl of wind.

What is happening? Tears poke at my eyes. I'm alone, why did they leave me so alone…?

"It's only us now, Kazumi-san," a voice behind me says. I spin around, back to my feet, to see Fai standing calmly under a cherry tree.

The mage's eye is gold, with a vertical slit. He cocks his head to the side when he sees me, and his claws slide out, soft as velvet. The smile he offers me is joyless.

"I guess that makes you the only one who can serve as my game, doesn't it?" he says. I back away slowly; there is something about his eyes that scare me. I don't like it when he looks at me like I'm prey.

He matches each of my steps, and we begin to circle around each other. "What do you want?" I ask warily.

"I don't intend to stay here very long," he says, "now that Kurogane is gone and you can't stop me. But I can't help but feel…" his claws nearly bridge the gap between us when he raises them, "that one last drink wouldn't hurt, would it?"

I step away, but again he simply follows. "You want to drink?" I ask, and I thrust my wrist between us. "Then here. Drink."

His smile turns into a grin. "You seem more… unwilling than usual," he says.

"Do you want to drink or not?" I snap back, annoyed and terrified.

"Oh, I definitely want to," he replies, stepping forward, but now a wall appears behind me and I can't escape. "I just had something a little… juicier in mind than your wrist." A claw softly brushes against my neck.

"Fai-san," I say, folding onto myself, "please, I-" But his claw digs just a little deeper, and I feel the skin break and the blood flow.

He is on me in a second, and his teeth are cutting through my flesh and his tongue presses and probes and oh God it hurts…

There is no more doubt about who is the game. He's got me pinned against the wall, his entire body pressed against mine. I push him away, but there is no moving him. Still the agony and the blood running down my neck refuses to leave; I close my eyes against the pain, as though it could change something. _This isn't real, please, I know this isn't real, it can't be, please just stop it. _I try not to scream, but _something_ makes its way out of my lips, a sound between a cry and a moan...

"Oh please, you can do better than that," a voice whispers in my ear, and my eyes open suddenly. Please, please no, anything but…

"Ah…" I pant as the pain slowly recedes. But it's her hand there now instead of Fai's mouth, pressing softly into my flesh. Her smile makes me shiver.

"Is that all I get after going to all this trouble? Really, you could have made an effort and practiced your voice," she says. She softly fingers my chin. "Oh, this is just going to be so much fun…"

I don't understand; if she's here this must all be a dream, it has to be. There's no way she could reach me here, in – where are we?

I realize that I never saw where we landed. We could be anywhere right now, anywhere at all, even…

"Is this…?" I blurt the words out, praying that it isn't true. If we're in Riselk, then not only am I in danger but they'll go for Syaoran-kun and Fai as well. And Mokona, I don't even want to know how they'll react to Mokona…

"No, not yet, love," she whispers in my ear. We stand at equal height now. "I'm afraid you're still asleep. But if you think I'm going to let you leave now that this pesky seal has been taken off… oh, you really are mine now, my little sorceress."

That isn't reassuring in the slightest.

Her eyes lock on mine and refuse to let go. I feel myself shrink back, remembering her in the woods with her sword and the snarl on her face.

"If… if this is a dream, that means you can't hurt me," I say softly. Her smile is deceivingly sweet.

"Oh, I can _hurt_ you, love," she answers, stroking the side of my neck where Fai's teeth were plunged just a minute ago. "The injuries aren't real, but the pain is. And if enough pain is inflicted on somebody, even in a dream, well, then the body just shuts down. Do you have any idea how much pain it would take to kill someone?" I try to keep control of my breathing, but now my bowels feel like they're about to spill out of my mouth. I can almost feel the hands and the blade in the darkness. She would do it. She could do that to me.

Her smiles broadens, and she chuckles. "Now I must admit that I've never done it before, but it would make for an interesting experiment, wouldn't it?" I am shaking so much that I surprise even myself when I open my mouth to speak.

"I'll wake up," I say, "I'll be awake before you can…" the words die on my lips, barely spoken, killed by her hardening gaze. I was too bold. I brace myself for the coming blow.

It comes differently than expected.

"No you won't," she says, "not as long as I can help it. I'm still stronger than you, little sorceress. And even if you did, what would you have to wake up to? One of your companions is dead and the others have left you stranded."

I remember the body in the dark room and shudder. "That's not true," I say, but more for myself than for her. This is a dream, she said so herself. Just because I've seen it doesn't make it true.

"Oh, but it is," she leans in close to my ear again. "I think you know which is the dead one, hm? The big one, with the blood-red eyes. The one you called for when I hurt you." Her breathe feels cold against my skin. "With a wound like that, a man bleeds out so fast… and that magic blast you sent off near the end, well, that wouldn't help any dying man. Who knows, maybe it was you who finished him off in the end…"

"Stop it!" I push her away. I realize my mistake only when it is too late, when her hand has already clasped my neck and snapped my head back into the wall, so hard that I hear something crack inside my skull.

I'm sobbing now, although I don't know if it's from the pain or from her words. Kurogane is still alive. He has to be. That voice… that woman, I heard her say so before the darkness… She said he would not die. She promised.

"And who are you going to believe, my little sorceress?" she asks with a chuckle. "Some voice, probably a figment of your imagination… or me? When have I ever lied to you?"

_When you said you would let me go if I lived 'til morning_, I want to say, but I don't. It's no use making her angrier now.

"That boy, the one that looks just like the other, he left you too," she continues, still squeezing the air from my lungs. "His beloved princess was dying, and well – you're not exactly very _awake_ right now, are you? Oh, I'm sure he tried to wake you – of course he would try – but his princess was more important. So he took the world-jumping creature and left with her body. _Leaving you there_, with a corpse and a dead man."

I can't breathe; I'm still reeling from what she said about Kurogane. None of this can be true. She has to be lying. She _has_ to.

"Because the other, the one who drank your blood, he will die too," she whispers in my ear as her finger traces the scars on my wrists. "Soon. You freed him, you know that? You're no longer there to make him drink, you little motherless whore. You finally allowed him to do what he's wanted to do for so long, and die."

_Fai. _No, but that's not – He wouldn't –

He would. Oh goodness, I know he would. He said himself he wanted to die. He tried to die when he was fighting Ashura-ou…

My lungs are on fire, but the darkness will not come. There is no air, and there is no relief. Why won't I just black out? I have to wake up. I have to get to him before it's too late.

"Oh, but he's gone." She has a throaty laugh. "You don't think he could stand to look at you any longer, do you? He hates you."

_He does. _

Just as admit this to myself, she finally releases her grip on my throat. I fall to my knees, gasping.

"So you see," she says, "Even if you could escape me, I'm the only one you have left. You've burned down every home you've ever had." She chuckles. "Sometimes even literally."

I can see the flaming wagon dancing before my eyes. _Gran._ I start to sob again. It feels like she just appeared in my life an instant ago, only to be ripped away. I've gained and lost an entire life in a matter of minutes.

"Shut up," I say in a strangled voice. I don't care if she hits me again, I don't care if the pain never goes away - I just want her to leave me alone with my grief.

"Yes, why don't we leave our little sorceress alone to think?" she says mockingly. "Maybe she'll be more docile when we come back, hm?" I neither see nor hear her leave, but a second later she is gone. I don't care anymore.

I am still sobbing, but there are no tears drifting down my face. This can't be true. She has to be lying.

Kurogane can't be dead. But he was bleeding so much, I remember that, it was… there was too much blood. Too much. I couldn't see properly, couldn't make out exactly how much there was, but it was everywhere.

_She said he would not die. _I hold onto that thought like it is the last rung of a ladder. She said he wouldn't die, and if he's alive that means she's lying. It means Syaoran-kun hasn't left, and Fai isn't starving himself to death.

"_Who are you going to believe, some voice, probably a figment of your imagination…?" _Except that maybe that woman doesn't exist. I was so confused, it was so hard to know what was really in front of me… and how could she have made it through all that wind, so fast? Maybe I was just hearing what I wanted to hear. Maybe she was just another voice, from one of Fai's memories or mine, intruding where it didn't belong…

"…_or yourself?"_

Syaoran-kun would leave, though, if it were for Sakura. And I remember something about how a body will eventually die if left without a soul. It must have been… a day, maybe? Maybe more, depending on the time flow in Celes. She could very well be dying, and in that case… If Kurogane is dead and Fai has decided to die... He probably couldn't afford to take another burden.

If Fai has decided to die… I bite my lip. We've been practically fighting with him to drink since the beginning, I wouldn't be surprised if…

_No!_ None of this is true. This place isn't even real. She's lying.

Except that there was all that blood… And my magic - I have no idea what I was doing with it at the time, but if the blast was strong enough to send everyone around me crashing to the ground…

I very well could have delt him the final blow.

My entire body shakes from the strength of my dry sob.

I don't even know who I believe anymore. But if I believe her, it means that I'm well and truly alone now. Again.

_And Gran is dead, and Rover, and Herminda, and Daddy betrayed us…_

I want to scream. There is too much to think about, too many to grieve, too many raw spots in my mind where I just want to claw out the pain. Breathing when they aren't hurts too much. I want to scream the world into senselessness.

Instead, I curl up on myself and wish for oblivion to take me, knowing that it won't. She'll be back, and she'll kill me, and I'm not sure that I care anymore.

"Gran," I sob, "Rover, please forgive me…"

XxX

I notice her presence when her hand goes through my abdomen. I sit up, startled, staring blankly at the spot where her hand should be attached to her wrist, and instead seeing blood spilling out of my stomach.

That's when the pain reaches me, and the most horrifying noise makes its way out of my lungs.

"Ready now, my precious abomination?" she chuckles. "Oh, this is going to be positively amusing."

All I can do in response is to cough up blood. Slowly, agonizingly, she pulls out her hand. I see my blood coating her fingers, but it doesn't register. It's the river of fire all over again, pinning me down. All that I know is that it hurts. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, Mama make it stop…

"Well, if you're still up for a little game, I'll be waiting…" she says, flashes a bloodthirsty smile, and disappears. Shaking, I place my hands over the wound but it does nothing for the pain. I'm not even dead yet. I'm not dead yet, and she will kill me with this pain.

The world is made of mist now, and I can't make out a thing. Cutting through the pain, a feeling of dread submerges me. When she uses the mist, it means…

Hinata's screams pierce the silence.

I jolt to my feet, still holding in the contents of my abdomen. I immediately fall to my knees, muffling a cry. I can't even move.

Hinata screams again, and this time Hisho joins her.

I start to panic. She has both of them, I know it; I have to get to them but every movement feels like I'm ripping in two.

_This is a dream, it's not real, they can't be here… _I tell myself, gritting my teeth. Except that _I'm_ here, and the pain I feel is all too real. If she can draw me into a dream, who's to say she can't force other people in? People who might not even realize this is anything more than a nightmare?

I realize that I can't take that chance.

I brace my hands and feet on the ground and push up. I scream, but I'm standing now, and I'm taking one step, two, three, and I scream again but I'm moving towards them and that's all that counts. I can't see anything because of all the mist, but I can still hear and the sounds guide me.

And then the sounds disappear.

I stop, puzzled. It's not that they've stopped screaming, it's that I know, in the pit of my stomach where her hand dug a hole, I _know_ they're gone. Did she let them go? Why…?

As fast as her presence had disappeared, Hinata appears again, screaming. Gritting my teeth, I make my way towards her. That's when I hear Hisho screaming behind me. In the opposite direction.

I stop again, at a loss. Where do I go? I can't abandon either of them, but… she can't be in two places at once, can she?

And then Kento starts screaming to my left. I jump, startled. How many of them does she have here? Etsuko appears to my right, bawling like a lost child. I take a few aimless steps. I don't… I…

I am in a dark forest, with snow swirling around my feet, and I am running breathlessly. I have to reach them before sunrise. If I can't find them before sunrise, I know that she will kill them. Because she promised, and she never goes back on a promise like that one.

One by one, new voices rise in pain. First Kaede, then Rover, then Rin, and then I stop counting. They are all here, and she will kill them all, and then she will kill me.

Not if I reach just one of them. It doesn't matter who I reach first. If I reach one of them it will be alright. Just one. Please God, just one.

There is constant fire in my abdomen, dragging me down, pulling me away from them. I scream, again and again, as though sound could keep the pain at bay - but of course it doesn't and I am slowing down. Painfully, I slow to a walk, then a stumble, then a crawl.

I have to keep running. I have to save them.

Hisho, Hinata, Kaede, Rin, Shinju, Mama, Rover, Gran, Herminda, Jesper, Ritza, they spin around me and scream in pain, blindingly, around and around me like a demented carousel, their voices mingling into something barely human, barely a sound at all, just a feeling, just pain, around and around and around…

"_Run, child! Out of here!"_

"_Close your eyes Aisha! Don't look!"_

The shadow girl's scream shatters the moonlight.

"_Your fault."_

The screams hit me, and I shatter too.

I am lying down on the ground, clutching my stomach, crying louder than anybody else. I don't understand. It already hurts, and if she wants to kill me why doesn't she just do it? Why must she hurt those I love as well? I just want her to end this. I just want to…

Die.

I close my eyes. That's the word. If she's going to kill me anyways, I'd rather just die.

A strange sort of serenity washes over me. One way or another, I will leave this place. Maybe I'll even get to see them. Maybe it'll be worth it.

I accept it.

The screams stop. The others are gone. There is only the two of us in the gloom.

She appears silently, like the sound of velvet against skin. I feel the tip of her boot brush my ribs. She clucks disaproovingly.

"Oh please - so defeatist. I expected more from you, truth be told," she says, hovering over me like an extension of the mist. I let her touch my cheek, although I wish she wouldn't. It'll be over soon.

"But you see, this is the best part, love," she whispers in my ear. "I won't kill you. Not before I make you watch. Not before I make you suffer for all the indignities you've caused me. I will not allow you to accept death serenely, my little sorceress. You will die pleading and screaming, drowning on all your guilt and pain. I will burn you with your own fire."

The tip of her boot digs into my ribs, until I hear a crack. I choke on the pain, but refuse to open my eyes. I'm going to die, and I'll do it with some dignity, dammit.

"What's wrong, the little sorceress thinks she can hold it all in? Like her bitch of a grandmother?"

That catches me off guard; I open my mouth to say something, but her fingers crash on my throat. At the same moment, there is another crack in my ribcage. This time, my eyes open and I scream. My serenity washes away like a bad dream.

_Gran is dead._

Another crack, this time from my finger. One by one they crack, each more painful than the next.

_And Jesper died for me, and now Clain hates me, everybody hates me…_

Crack, crack, crack… My body is nothing but a pile of bones for her to play with.

I look up at the white empty sky, and my scream dies in my throat. I can't shut off; I can't ignore it; it won't go away. Numbness does not exist in this place.

Kill me, please just kill me…

"Not yet, love," she teases in my ear. "Later. Much, much later…"

Her fingers crush my windpipe until my entire chest is flaming. There is no air, but there is no escape either.

I am pain.

_I am in a room, lying on the ground. Shapes move around me, making noise. _

"_What's wrong? Is she… is she…"_

"_We've done all we can for her physical wounds. As for the rest…"_

"_You don't mean she'll…"_

I lay on the snow, looking up at the night sky, trying in vain to stop the blood pouring from my stomach. I can barely breath, let alone move; I am broken, a bird that fell to its death four stories below. And I am alone with the snow.

I can't even feel the cold. It's like pain has taken over every fibre of my body, leaving no room for anything else. If I were a glass, I'd be filled to the brim.

Oh god, make it stop… 

"_I'm so sorry…"_

I turn towards the voice, straining to see the person it belongs to. _Please, see me_. My hand searches frantically beside me, finding nothing.

No, there was someone there. I heard it. I wasn't alone. There was someone there.

_Don't leave me!_

I cry, reaching for the voice, but there is nothing but snow.

_Please, please come back…_

Someone help me. Anybody. Please just make it stop.

Please.

Please…

_Kurogane is dead._

The thought hits me, crushes me like a ton of bricks. I don't even have the strength to deny it any more.

So many people are dead because of me. Maybe I don't even deserve this good an end. I close my eyes and feel a tear fall down my cheek. It would have been better if I hadn't been born in the first place, wouldn't it?

"Mmh? Why, of course it would have been much easier for everyone involved… but it wouldn't have been nearly as fun for me," she suddenly whispers in my ear. Her tongue wets my cheek, running down to my neck. "Shh, love. There's no need to cry. Well, not yet."

That's when Hinata appears in front of me, her eyes wide and searching. "Aisha," she says when she sees me, "Aisha, where are we? What is this? Oh my goodness, what freakin' happened to yo-?"

A fountain of blood erupts from her mouth.

She sends me a brief look of pain and confusion before she is shaken by a convulsion so strong it lifts her off the ground. She spits out more blood as I scream.

"Stop it!" I yell, trying in vain to move. But I can't move, and I can't look away. I can only watch in horror as her body is slowly ripped apart, as though by a thousand invisible blades. Watch my sister's face contort in pain and then terror as she realizes what is happening.

Watch helplessly as my baby sister dies in front of my eyes.

I'm too tired to even scream. I'm not even sure I'm crying. I can't feel anything but the pain coursing through my body.

"Please…" I whisper, staring down at what would have been my sister. "Please stop it…"

"Aisha…" Hisho looks at me, tears streaming down his face. "What happened? Why is… why is Hinata…"

I knew it would happen, and yet I am not prepared in the slightest when his body is thrown back violently, his back bending with a sickening crack as though he were no more than a twig. A muffled gurgle escapes his mouth, as does a steady stream of blood.

Oh god, make this stop, just make it stop, I'll do anything, just stop hurting them, please stop hurting them…

"Kill me instead," I say, unable to scream. But that doesn't stop Hisho from shattering into a thousand bloody, fiery shards, and his final cry from lingering in the space around me like a cruel reminder that I cannot protect anyone. Not even my own family.

My breathing gets louder, more frantic, until it drowns out every other sound. I can't protect anyone. Against her, I can't protect even my own family. A fire rises through the pain, strong enough to let me open my mouth and scream: anger.

"KILL ME!" I scream to the sky. "GODAMMIT, KILL ME INSTEAD!"

"_What's going on? Why is she…?"_

"_Hold her down before she hurts herself!"_

"_Listen to me! You're going to be fine. It's okay. It's okay!"_

"Kill _me,_" I say as she appears in front of me, hovering over the ground. She cocks her head to the side, smiling slyly.

"Now you sound like someone to be reckoned with. Too bad I'm still stronger than you," she says, then chuckles. "I've already told you it won't be that simple, my little sorceress. Do you really think you've already suffered enough?"

"Hurt me," I say, "but stop hurting them." She is on me in a second, digging her fingers in my neck.

"You think you're in any position to tell me what to do?" she snarls, and snaps my head violently against the ground. There is a crack - yet another crack – and I feel blood rushing out of the wound. "You think _I'm_ the one hurting them? Have you forgotten your part in all of this, you little beast? You hurt them, by your arrogance. You've killed them. It's your fault they're all dead." Her hand reaches for the wound in my stomach. "If not, why would they all hate you?"

Just when I thought I couldn't humanely feel more pain, she grabs something in my stomach and pulls.

I scream and try to pull away, but something is pinning me down, holding me there as she picks away at my guts like some kind of vulture. "No, no, NO!" I cry, and my voice breaks into the most horrible gurgle when she reaches my spine.

The world doesn't exist. I am nothing but an exposed nerve on a bed of blades.

"They all hate you," she whispers distantly. "And all of them are dead because of you."

It's true, isn't it? "_Your fault."_

Gran is dead because she tried to protect me. Rover and Herminda, Tyuna, Jemmel, I killed them all with my own flames. Jesper and Ritza died because they saved my life. Clain hates me. Mama and the twins, Kento and Etsuko, Rin, Kazue, Shinju, neither of them will ever remember me again. Syaoran and Sakura left with Mokona. Kurogane is dead, and Fai will die.

Even if I wake up, I'll never get home without Mokona. I'll never see any of them again. I've failed them all.

And now I am alone, and I have nothing left to live for.

I float, alone and crying, waiting for the end that I know will come. It's only a matter of time now until my body shuts down from the pain. I just want it to stop.

_A hand gently slips in mine. _

"_Please wake up," a voice whispers._

I start at this, ripping another scream from my lips. That hand… it wasn't in the dream. Someone is holding my hand right now, my physical hand, the one attached to my sleeping body. Someone wants me to wake up.

Someone… cares.

I squeeze the hand, and it squeezes back. I can't believe it: someone doesn't hate me. There is a person, whoever that person may be, that wants me to live.

I am not alone anymore.

I'm not alone.

I'm not…

I'm…

I have no word for the feeling that submerges me. I want to see that person. I want to hold them, speak to them, thank them; I want to be everything that person will ever wish me to be. I want to…

If… someone wants me to live, am I allowed to want that too?

"You silly, brave, beautiful girl." My eyes widen as Gran appears in front of me, smiling. She reaches for me and touches my face. "I didn't think I would be so happy to see you all grown up," she says, and I notice that her eyes are wet. "Of course you can want to live, my little bird. Don't let anyone tell you different."

I close my eyes, waiting for the inevitable sound of her body being ripped apart, just like Hinata and Hisho, but nothing happens. Slowly I risk a glance, and she is still standing calmly in front of me. The smile hasn't left her face.

"My poor, brave, brave girl," she says, and her arms enclose me in her embrace. The pain starts to recede a little where she touches me. "I'm sorry for all you've had to go through. I wouldn't have wished that for you in a thousand lives." I begin to relax in her arms, although I know that I probably shouldn't. Still, if this is what death is like, it's not so bad.

"You're not dead, love. And so the gods help me, you won't die for a long, long time."

I start to cry, but not out of pain or sadness or confusion. I cry because I never thought I would see her again.

She laughs. "Oh, Aisha. Little bird, little bird… You can want to live. Living is a beautiful thing; believe me, it is. So you wouldn't want to throw it all away for something as silly as thinking you can't want it, would you?" She pulls back just enough to look me in the eye. "Please keep living. For me, if you don't see the point of it just now. For that person out there who wants you to wake up. One day, hopefully, for your own happiness." I nod, tears still streaming down my face.

"Aren't you angry at me?" I ask in a small voice. "I mean, if it wasn't for me…"

A single look from her is enough to shut me up. "Do me a favour," she says, "and never confuse me for your father again, won't you?" She strokes my cheek, her smile turning from steely to sad. "I would have locked him in a cage with a pack of hungry wolves if I'd known what he was going to do to our family. I love you."

I don't know what to say; she can't be real. And yet I'm so happy to just see her again, to have her tell me that she loves me, that I don't think I care.

"How do I live, Gran?" I say, looking up at her. "You forgot to teach me." Everyone forgot to teach me.

"You try your damned best, that's how," she replies. "There's no other answer. And if I haven't taught you that, then I've truly failed you." The pain is slowly washing away, a drop for each word she speaks to me. I can move now, just enough to reach for her hand and hold it.

"Are you really here, or…?" I ask, unable to finish that sentence.

There's a mischievous twinkle in her eye. "Of course I'm here. Where else would I be?"

"I…" I look down, troubled. I don't know what to say. I don't even know what that means. "You know…" She gently strokes my cheek.

"I'll always be here," she says tenderly. Then she laughs and kisses me on the forehead. "Remember: this is your dream, not hers. Now go and live, my beautiful, brave girl."

She fades away, disappearing from my grasp like a mist and leaving behind nothing but the imprint of her smile floating in the emptiness. I stifle a sob.

"_Survive, girl, you hear me?"_

Jesper's scream from so long ago rips me out of my limbo, forcefully pulling me back to a place of consciousness. _Yes,_ I think. _I will._

Even I don't expect the magic blast to come out of my body when I resurface. She – _she_ - is thrown back violently, leaving me free to stand. _Because I can stand_.

I force myself up through the pain, finally screaming as I face her. Just this simple act has left me breathless, but I am determined to push through. For Gran, whether she was real or not, and for that person holding my hand.

My stomach still hurts but it is whole, my bones are mended, and the burns on my hands have disappeared. Because I've willed it so. _This is _my_ dream._

She rises to her feet slowly, nursing her jaw. She isn't smiling.

And then her lips spread apart to reveal the most blood-curdling array of teeth.

"It's sad, how you still think you can defeat me. Have you forgotten how well that went last time, my little sorceress?" she snarls. I shake like a leaf in the wind, but that doesn't stop me from replying.

"Get out of my head," I say.

Her eyes flash like lightning, and the darkness grows around her. It pulses like a heartbeat, almost alive. She barely looks human anymore.

I'm afraid, there's no point in hiding it from myself. But I want to live. I want to live, or die trying.

"I am still stronger than you," she growls, and a thousand pillars rise from the earth, reaching for me. Unthinkingly, I shield myself with my arms…

And the pillars break at my feet. I watch their remains with surprise; I didn't expect that to work.

She screams like a wounded animal, and a beam of blue light rushes for me. This time, I raise the shield consciously, holding my hands in front of me as though I could physically push her magic away. She's so strong, I don't know if I'll be able to hold it for long. The last time we fought it didn't work out so well…

_Her blade slides into my stomach like it's no more than butter._

"_Don't you want to know what it feels like to die?"_

With a cry I manage to deflect her spell, and it shatters the world behind me. I don't even want to think of what it would have done to me if I hadn't stopped it.

I look at her, breathless and panting, waiting for her next move. Hoping that I will be strong enough to escape it as well. Praying that I will be able to wake up and escape this dream.

The darkness around her flares up, like a living beast on the prowl. She barks a single word and the darkness swallows all.

A red moon shines in the sky, and the world is burning.

The flames lick at my skin, and the smoke makes it hard to breathe. Still, I stand. Fire is my friend, and I will not allow it to harm me.

Images flash before my eyes, of a pyre in the centre of a public square, a flaming wagon, shadows dancing around a fire-god. I wince for a moment, which allows the fire to burn me – but only for a moment. If I want to do this, I can't dwell on these things. And I can do this - if anything, I can keep fire from burning me in my own head.

I can still feel it, the touch of that person's fingers around mine, and it holds me like an anchor. I will not give in.

I will not burn, unless it is of my own accord.

I let flames dance around my fingers, slowly climbing up my arms. It isn't anger that I am feeling, not quite – and it isn't really fear either. Or maybe it's just that I am numb to fear now. I can't tell.

The fire reaches the nape of my neck, rises up to frame my face, covers every inch of my body. I am fire.

I absorb every flame, every flicker into myself, draining the world until it is only darkness and I am the sole light.

"Kurogane is dead." Her voice whispers by like a bad wind.

My light flickers.

"Fai is dying, where you can't help him."

I close my eyes, guarding myself against her words. She could be lying. She would lie to hurt me.

"The others have left you."

The fire starts to recede, losing its brightness. No, I can't start to believe her again. She's lying. She's lying.

"You're all alone."

No I'm not, but what do I know about that person out there? Yes they care, but… nothing can replace what has been lost. And what if she's right? About all of it? What if I really have lost everything I had and any chance of ever seeing my family again?

Then… then…

The only light left is a tiny flame in the cup of my palm, barely holding off the darkness around me. I look at it, searching for the tiniest bit of hope. What then?

_Then I will keep going, the way I always have. _

The fire flares up suddenly, burning brighter than it ever has. It pushes the darkness away, pushes the pain, and makes the world around me a ball of light. This is my dream, and it is my world. I will shape it, not her.

She will not have me – I will live. I will take the bad, and cry, and mourn friends and family members. I might not want to move on for a really long time, but eventually I will. Eventually, I will become stronger than my grief, even if now it seems such an impossible task. I refuse to be defeated by my own despair. I refuse for her to decide what she can take from me.

The ball of light explodes around me, cutting through the darkness like a thousand swords. I scream, not it pain but in determination, and my scream obliterates the night. I will fill this dream with fire – my fire, my light – and she will not stop me.

For a moment there is nothing, only blinding white everywhere I can see, until slowly the world comes into focus again.

Now I stand in a meadow, surrounded by tall, ageless trees. I recognize this place: Caldor forest. Light seeps through the branches, falling in endless shadows on the forest floor. In the trees, birds are singing. This place is at peace. I allow myself a small smile.

"HOW COULD YOU?!" The broken, animal wail rings through the clearing, causing the birds to take flight. I turn to see her staring at me, her mouth opened on an endless, silent scream. Her voice comes from everywhere at once, like it stems from the earth itself. "I AM STRONGER THAN YOU! I AM STILL STRONGER THAN YOU! HOW WERE YOU ABLE TO BREAK MY SPELL?!"

I look at her, and something akin to pity washes over me. She is nothing but a broken soul.

"YOU CAN'T DEFEAT ME! I'LL KILL YOU BEFORE YOU GROW STRONGER THAN ME!"

Slowly, possessed by a will I did not know I had, I step towards her. "You won't kill me," I say, with an assurance I am not feeling. She finally moves, blinking, and her lips close on words.

"Yes I will," she says, and reaches for me. She does not touch me.

Because this is my dream, and I don't want her to.

The realization of what that means hits me. She can't kill me, so long as I don't want to die.

She's already lost, and she knows it.

"I'm not that same little girl anymore," I say slowly, deliberately, tasting every syllable. I've changed. I've learned how to fight. I've survived all this time. "I'm stronger than you now."

Her mouth opens so wide that it looks more like a gash across her face, and her hands move up to cover her eyes. A second later, her scream reaches me.

"NOOO! NO IT CAN'T BE! YOU CAN'T BE STRONGER THAN ME, YOU CAN'T! YOU CAN'T! I AM THE STRONGEST! I AM A GOD!" She tears at her hair and her cheeks, and fine lines of blood trickle down to the ground.

The world around me explodes, but I am protected. She cannot touch me. Her wind cannot even disturb the branches of my trees.

"Get out," I say, and my voice rolls like thunder. Even though I know she cannot touch me, I am shaking. I'm afraid.

Even so, I raise a hand towards her. "Get out of my head," I repeat, and a blast escapes my fingers.

It is strong enough to send the Caldor forest careening through space, swallowed by the silver beads of light at my fingertips.

I am stronger now.

She dissolves in the light, her final screams lingering around me. I know this is not a victory, only a respite. She is not gone for good.

Still…

I close my eyes and brace myself for the world to drag me back in. If anything she said is true, it will not be easy. I almost wish I could stay in the meadow forever, and never have to face what is outside. That would be so nice…

With a sigh, I allow the dream to end. All I have to do is follow that hand…

And live, not matter what.


End file.
